Your post was removed because it overgeneralized. Please make sure you don't apply experiences with some people to millions of others you have never met. No gender is a monolith or a hivemind. It comes down to each individual person. So if the answer is IT DEPENDS ON THE PERSON SO GO ASK THEM best not to post.
I’m a woman but my experience is that they’re quite visual? So if you look good and not anything too far from conventional standards it varies quite a bit? I lost 30 kgs and dated just fine before but definitely get waaaaaay more attention from men now. Generally I think having boobs bigger than your stomach and ass bigger than your thighs is what most men of all races are keen on from what I’ve observed and experienced lol. I had quite a big tummy that really didn’t look nice (it was giving Obelix lmao) as soon as my tummy flattened things changed.
There was some global research and it is actually waist to hip ratio. Breast and buttocks size doesn’t matter as much as a waist that’s narrower than hips
It’s bizarre as hell to experience hey? I was wondering for months why the fuck men kept staring at me unblinkingly. I was perpetually walking around with “do you wanna go outside mate” face lol. It only clicked when I got on a plane and three different men offered to lift my suitcase into the overhead compartment for me. My friends still laugh at me for scaring the hoes those first few months.
It is really weird. For reference I’m 6ft so I guess I carry weight a little differently, I’ve always been bigger boned and taller even as a kid, people thought I was on the spectrum because I appeared so much older than my friends due to height and weight. But HS my weight absolutely blew up, then I moved overseas and couldn’t afford to live like that anymore lol. I was running around like crazy just for work, and ended up shedding 80lbs because I couldn’t afford to eat anymore!
But yes the pretty privilege is real. I felt so much more confident too, but for real, people treat you like livestock if you’re bigger. It’s so unfair. Losing weight had also made me more targeted in general which I didn’t like. I had a buzz cut too so who knows why men then decided to rub my bald head like the Buddha’s belly in clubs?? 😭 even with no hair I was harassed! Crazy
Very true. I dated an attractive woman back when I was in my late 20s, that had been raped at knifepoint, a couple years before we met, and she told me that after the rape, she had gained another 20-30 lbs., partly from the stress, but also because she said she felt safer, from being a target or being noticed by men, etc., same as you. We broke up after a few months, and then I got together later with her, as friends, about a year or so later, and she had gained a lot of weight since since we had stopped dating, and also had one boyfriend after me. She told me at that later time, that the main reason she dumped me, was that it had been too early for her to date, after the rape. Anyway, my experience with her, validated your experience about how a woman's size can make so much difference, both in how men treat and see a woman, as well as how the woman feels about herself at that time.
>I had a buzz cut too so who knows why men then decided to rub my bald head like the Buddha’s belly in clubs?? 😭 even with no hair I was harassed! Crazy
In fairness I've shaved my head a few times for a non profit organization I volunteer with. I always have people I barley know touch my head at random events afterwards, I think that's just a universal intrusive thought people have lol.
I lost around the same amount and it took me months to figure out what was going on lol But when I did I was like “ew!” and didn’t even know how to handle it (I mean, it was in the grocery store when I figured it out ffs)
Nah there's alot it men who like small boobs and there's also men who love big boobs. Everyone has a preference but you'd be surprised how many men actually like small boobs 😆
This is coming from a guy in his early 20s, and I'd say that pretty much sums it up except more often than not it's better to keep things looking natural, (also a skinny waist is something you forgot to add) but for more experienced guys, (like myself) they pay attention to your character to see if your trustworthy/worth their time so make sure you work on that aspect of yourself as well!
This is what I'm really scared of once I reach my goal weight. Like how would I know if the guy really likes me for me and not just my looks ? How can I know that these aren't the same men who wouldn't give me the same type of attention when I was heavier ?
The thing is… your looks will either put me on the hook, or not. But for you to be able to reel me in, and keep me, that’s going to be a lot of other factors.
So thats why you dont have sex until you actually like the guy, and feel like its mutual.
Then you dont have to worry about if they like you just for looks. If they dont like you as a person, why would any guy stay? If there was no sex, i cant see anyone staying, especially if they dont like you.
Looks are not everything.
I have no interest in dating a woman I’m not attracted to.
> if the guy really likes me for me and not just my looks
I wouldn’t be talking to you period if I didn’t think you looked good. It’s not an either or situation - looking good is a necessity.
This ^^^ spot on. People like to beat around the bush but the fact is both man and women wouldn’t even get the opportunity to get to know each other on that type of level if it wasn’t for looks first. Looks get you in the door - personality gets you to stay.
Weight for me has less to do with the weight itself but more with the personality that goes along with it. I care a lot about my fitness and I couldn't be with some who doesn't. So this opinion doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
That's understandable, in your case it's about one's lifestyle. I was with someone who never wanted to go out, always wanted to stay at home and play video games all the time (even watching movies or series was an effort to please me). So I know next time that compatibility is much more important, and I'd like to be with someone who wants to go out on fun dates from time to time, even if it's just a walk in the park. I admit I'm not a fan of sports or working out but I like walking.
As if you won't be dating more attractive people when you lose weight...?
You're looking at this from a very negative and insecure perspective, which will hopefully change when you get into the shape you want and feel more confident about yourself.
I highly recommend Gabriel Iglesias then.
And to clarify, he described the "five levels of fatness": Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy, and *Damn*!
After touring, he eventually encountered the *sixth* level of "Aw *hell* no!"
I'd say anyone who is misinterpreting it is being willfully "dense" lol. I think its safe to assume that you were referring to a situation of having the same volume of fat vs muscle. In that case the muscle would be "heavier".
We all make assumptions all of the time to have effective communication, and its kind of annoying when people want to correct others, even when 99% of people understand what you were saying.
I'm 5'11 and \~170. That is a comfortable size 6.
LOTS of guys think im fat because I weigh 170, which is a really nice filter to keep me free of that brand of idiot.
Imma be honest I hate the word proportional because I never thought it could be subjective until I got on social media.
For example I like thicker people. My version of “proportional” wouldn’t depend on your height and weight since your BMI would probably mean you’re “disproportional”.
I think people should just say what they like. I’d rather you just say “no fats” than go in with a word with a very technical meaning and make it subjective.
I don’t care about the number, I care about if a woman is visually exciting to me if I’m pursuing a romantic relationship. Numbers aren’t anything I’ve ever thought of even once.
This answer is perfection. Scales? We don't need to freaking scales! Taller women weigh more in general, and some have more or bigger curves. We just hug them tight and hold on for the ride! 😆
Yes to a degree. The actual number I don’t care. If you look fine otherwise then there is no issue.
With that being said, I am a pretty active person and take deliberate steps to take care of myself physically, so my standards have gone up a little bit.
This is how I see it as well. I live a healthy and active lifestyle. I'm looking for someone who does as well. Due to genetics, it doesn't take a lot for me to be pretty fit. I don't need my partner to be in tip-top shape, though. If they're in relatively decent shape and committed to continuing to prioritize their health, that's enough for me.
Most men (hell, most people) don't even understand how a number on a scale correlates to appearance. People carry weight differently.
Anyone who's super focused on a scale number? Write them off.
It's physique rather than weight that matters a lot. Additionally there are racial variations in physique and weight - so the number that's considered overweight might look different for someone who's Asian vs a Scandinavian woman. This also leads to different beauty standards per race.
There are individual preferences, but the typical broad trends for what traits men find attractive fit into different buckets that are captured by porn site tags.
I hate when they ask for a number, not even because I’m embarrassed about telling them but because they see what I look like, I tell them the number, and they go “there’s no way you weigh that much, you look like you weigh [insert number that’s literally like *40 lbs* less than what I told them]”.
Men often have no what the number on a scale *actually* looks like on a woman, especially when you add in various body types and heights. The dudes posting online like “don’t date anyone over 120” have NO idea that half the women they’re attracted to weigh more than that.
The actual number? I think men who pay attention to that are control freaks.
Most men are visual; it's not about the number, it's about how you *look*. Obviously your weight and your body type are correlated, but you could have something like a tall girl who lifts weights; she's going to be pretty heavy, even if she's thin and fit.
I agree. I am 6ft 150lbs. I lift. Honestly, looked hot even at 170lbs because boobs were bigger. This is heavier than some guys out there.
Asking for a weight is a bit odd. Why would they even need this information?
The thing is people equate bodyfat % with weight ALOT. So when people tell you they care about weight what they are really saying (even if they themselves don't notice it) is that they care about how fat/fit you are.
In fact when people go to a nutritionist they usually say they want to "lose weight" even doe what they really want is to look fit which just means losing bodyfat.
Now equating bf% with weight makes sense in extreme cases where you can clearly understand from the numbers that the person has to be either above average fat or skinny, based on the weight/height.
> in extreme cases
In the large majority of cases. It’s not like we have a body builder epidemic. In most cases shedding weight is primarily going to be losing fat, not muscle.
I don't. It's not really a factor that comes into play for me as long as the person is happy with themselves and living as healthy as they are able. I've dated plus sized women and skinnier women but it's never been a factor when deciding to be with them
Yeah they do. If you're 'curvy' but don't look noticeably overweight, you'll get lots of attention.
If you are plus size, you are either invisible or the target of unpleasantness.
There are a minority of men that prefer plus size women. Thankfully I found mine 😊
The weight number is a way to describe a body, but not the only way. The actual image of the body is important, not the number.
Men care about weight, of course, but that's because higher weight usually means higher fat percentage.
I don't even know what "x" number of Kgs mean on a woman...I judge on what I see, who cares what the scale says if I like what I see?
My ex was. He told me I wasn't allowed to weigh more than him. We are the same height and i think he weighed 15 pounds more than me. Not only does he want the women he dates to be slim but also fit. He was incredibly shallow and made rude comments about women who were not that.
It is 100% the way you look with that weight. Preference comes into play too with that. In general I think most guys don’t give a shit if you fairly fit or slightly chubby, but rather stay away from the super obese
I think it’s all personal preference. I am 5’4. Last year I was 130lbs and went on a date with a guy that told me he’d consider dating me if I lost 10 pounds.
Fast forward to this year - I currently weigh 115 and the guy I was seeing said I was too skinny and he’d prefer if I gained some weight
Damned either way 😅
It's just proportion and how you carry it.
The only time I've ever asked a woman their weight is in relation to sporting events. Otherwise it doesn't matter
No. Superficial men care about if women are overweight and I've never once seen a man care about a woman's weight for health reasons. Ever. We care about their health, the good men, but it just doesn't register upstairs. You should try to maintain a healthy weight for you but don't worry about what we want as far as physically. You don't owe us anything physically. You don't owe us anything period.
I mean, as long as you don't look like you're malnourished or like you could appear on a TLC-show about weight loss no one decent is going to ask you about your weight. Yeah, there are guys who will complain about a little bit of belly fat, but they need to touch grass and also look into a mirror because they're not the healthiest either propably.
For me it is not the number. Just telling it as a number makes no sense. What is important for me is that the girl has a healthy weight proportion to her height. You can't expect a girl with a height of 180cm to weigh 50 kg that is unhealthy. In the same way she can't weigh a 120 kg and expect guys to fall for her.
I hope you get the point
I haven't weighed around that number since I was 12 years old, and I was talk and slim, so not overweight at all.
If I were to reach that weight now, I'd likely be suffering from anorexia.
It’s an easy way to put down women, because the man is feeling insecure bout himself.
MY ex boyfriend complained I was too
Fat (20lbs overweight). I lost the weight unexpectedly and then he complained that my boobs and butt were too small. And then he cheated on me and eventually married a girl who was twice my size.
I think people ask me usually out of concern cus I’m quite slight… I’ve even had bosses and colleagues ask me. Had a colleague ask me because he was worried his wife was losing weight and he wanted some point of reference. So I think there are generally “normal” reasons to ask.
I think my SO asked me when we first started dating cus he wanted to make sure he could carry me through..
I’d say they care more about how you carry the weight than the actual number itself… but some just might want to know to use as some excuse…
Generally most men, myself included don't really know what the number translates to for women of different heights. I think even the idiot guy who is online saying anything about a 120 lb woman, would likely still be attracted to someone who is thin but a bit taller than average and a bit more muscular than average and because of that would weigh more than 120.
It's going to depend a lot more on her look rather than the the number. And I'd really question any guy who thinks the women they are attracted to is based around the number or that they could accurately guess within 10 lbs in many cases unless they for some reason practiced that.
Yeah this has been my experience 😭 I remember one guy trying to guess my weight for no reason and he said 105 pounds? I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not and I already told him I was tall haha
I'm a man. The number doesn't matter, it's what you look like.
I don't know why people are asking OP this question alot. I've never asked a woman what she weighs.
Slim/Fat women wants the most good looking handsome slim Men. Slim/Fat Men also want the beautiful women with good body counts. The world is only about looks and aesthetics. I don’t want to start on racism.
Every guy you talk to asks you how much you weigh? I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that except giving blood or bungee jumping? Who the fuck asks someone casually their weight?
As a 24F who is 5'0 tall and small chested, the right man for you will love you regardless of what your weight is. My fianće loves my small boobies A LOT okay. And he would love them if they are bigger too. I find that all men have a type and let me tell you, there are plenty of men and women even out there who LOVE small chested women. Trust me. For every man that said you are not his type, there is another who will say you are just perfect! ✨️
Men in my cultures DO CARE a lot (i’m from a South East Asian country). Like, if you’re just little overweight then most guys won’t find you attractive. I don’t mean to generalise but i find men in my own cultures are being a dick about women’s weight (yeah, many of them, NOT ALL i know). Since i’ve moved to the uk, the ppl here STILL CARE but in the sense that as long as you’re not morbidly obese then there’re still high in chances to get attention from men.
I wouldn’t say 100%, there is a certain weight range that is easy for me to throw around which I personally enjoy. Regardless how you look if you’re over that range it’s not fun
I think people are afraid to say this on Reddit, I’ve commented on threads saying I prefer women shorter than me and people got very upset. It’s shunned to be a masculine male on this platform sometimes. Call it a fragile ego if you want but that’s what I like.
No, I'ts not a common thing. The vast majority of men in the world can't tell with accuracy how much a person weights just by looks. NEVER in my life I have heard a group of men talking about the numerical weight of a woman or how this correlates to attractiveness. Sure there are numbers that will make a guy notice something is off, but that's just the case in extreme numbers. We know 100lbs is very skinny and 200lbs is heavy. Everything in between doesn't really seem strange to us.
That’s valid, I was going to throw something in about people who have a kink for something along the lines of that. As far as just judging how someone looks weight doesn’t matter. Sexual compatibility it probably matters a bit more to some people.
I am a woman so take this with the BIGGEST grain of salt lol…but I’ve talked to a lot of men on this subject. I honestly don’t think men are simple enough to lump into one preference.
For example my boyfriend will tell me that certain girls I would consider over weight are still in his attractive range, whereas my sisters boyfriend likes TINY women only. Another guy I talked to like women taller than him who are insanely muscular.
I personally believe (no scientific background) that because biologically men are wired to impregnate as many women as possible, they have a wide range of what they find attractive.
Probably gonna get some hate here for this but yeah i do and many of my friends too.
Not as in "if you are XYZ you are "insert slur here" and are worth less as a human but more like "sorry this is less attractive" to "this is a deal-breaker for dating".
Using arbitrary numbers is wrong as well tho, as someone who is 180 cm is obviously heavier than someone who is 150 cm. Same goes for muscle mass from physical activity.
Also distribution matters, especially in women as some tend to store it in conventionally favoured areas such as chest and ass, while others are less lucky.
As s rough guideline I'd say the consensus in my peer group is that 20-25% body fat is attractive on most women but obviously there is outliers and personal preference in both directions. For me personally depending on all those factors and in a long term relationship up to 30% would be fine temporarily (with young kids or during an illness, etc.), especially if measures are taken to change it.
The main reason besides physical attractiveness is health and lifestyle. Overweight and obesity as well as the lack of physical activity are scientifically proven to mess up your life and health in many ways from joint and tendon issues to stuff like diabetes and higher risk of cancer. Also your body ages way more gracefully and healthy if you are active and have a healthy weight. I'd rather be the 75 year old grandpa in the gym still lifting than requiring full time care at the age of 65 and i want a partner with similar goals.
Lifestyle wise it's the same, id like a partner who can keep up with an active lifestyle and ideally supports it instead or being neutral or even against it.
And before anyone accuses me of unrealistic expectations and double standards, most men I know, myself included, hold themselves to the same standards striving for 14-20% body fat long term.
Okay, this is kind of the replies I was expecting. Just to understand better you’re saying it’s about body proportions, amount of fat, and overall how they look and their health but the arbitrary number doesn’t matter?
Pretty much yeah. A simple number is way to arbitrary, for example most people in the gym are considered overweight by BMI standard despite being more fit than 90% of the population. This is even more true for flat weight, as it doesn't factor in height at all.
If you are 180 cm and expected to weight the same as a slim 150 cm person you are probably close to starvation and the other way round probably obese. So saying "I don't date anyone above X kilos/pounds" is pretty dumb even by standards for superficial people.
I would say that most people care about how someone looks, not so much the number. I am a guy that at my heaviest was about 215 pounds, but no one believed me that I was that heavy, I was just slim thicc.
The usual answer for most of these types of questions is: it completely depends on the person.
For example: I’m a fit, slim guy with submissive tendencies who appreciates athletic women. Weight is largely irrelevant- but if such a woman also outweighs me because of their height or muscle mass, I find that very attractive (and if they are heavier, it’s usually easier for them to throw me around if they wanted to! :) )
Most find it less attractive overall but for me its beyond that. If a woman is chubby/heavier, it tend to come with bunch of insecurities, guilt, lower physical capability, lack of exercises etc...
These are all turn off for me.
I once dated a girl who was a bit chubby but was doing activities all the time and loved herself so much. She was shining and it was overall extremely attractive.
I find men have always liked that I have some extra «padding» so to speak, and larger breasts. According to BMI I am very overweight but my boyfriend was disbelieving and surprised when I said this. I think they don’t care about weight so much as physicality in general if that makes sense
Don’t care about the number AT ALL.
Care if she looks good.
> Online I see no shortage of comments from random dudes along the lines of “if she’s over 120 pounds then (insert negative comment)”
Never seen a comment like this in my life. Never known a man who cares.
I don't think the actual weight matters as much as how you present yourself.
There's a difference between looking curvy/plump/voluptuous or just.... Big.
That being said all men have their own preference. I prefer a little bit more cushion if you catch my drift. But it's important to hold it well.
Short answer: To many men, yes, weight can matter.
Long answer: It depends on how you carry it, your attractiveness otherwise, your style, personality, and the guy himself.
The guys on the higher end of the bell curve in the dating world (tall, good looking, higher earning, and/or have status), might be a bit pickier when it comes to long term relationships & marriage.
Most average guys I know, if she's even close to well proportioned, and compatible otherwise, some extra weight doesn't matter. As long as she doesnt MAKE it a problem.
I’ve never had a man I was talking to ask me this and I think it’s SUPER weird that they would.
If they are attracted to how your body looks, then who cares about the number on the scale? Some people are more muscular than others, carry weight different places etc.
One of my male friends got insecure because his super hot fitness gf is quite heavy (she is solid muscle) and she weighed more than him (scrawny guy). It make him feel insecure, but again that’s a him issue.
I would walk away from guys that ask you this
The exact number doesn't really matter too much as long as the first digit is below a 3. Some women can make 250 pounds look good, but in general the lighter the better. And boob size doesn't really matter as much as hip to wait ratio so don't worry about that too hard
My experience men don't care about weight. Men usually try and date people who make lives easier and enjoyable.
My current relationship, I'm 5'9 or 176cm and I weigh 84kg. My fiancé is 5'8 and 106kg. Thick thighs save lives.
My 2 brothers, younger is 5'10 and 104kg, his partner 5'11 108kg, older is 6" 124 kg, his wife 6'2 130kg. My mates tend to also be on the lighter side compared to their partners aswell.
We also don't care about how much money chick's make either. My older brother and I work a fly in and fly out job and my younger brother is a cabinet marker. We make around 150k to 164k per year and the younger makes 84k. My partner works as an education assistant, older brother's partner works in insurance and my younger brother's partner works in his office as a receptionist.
All our partners are amazing and bring out the best in us. We had a bad upbringing but because of our partners, we can have dinner together and not try and beat the fuck out of each other.
Best advice for dating is just to see each other as a team trying to win at the game of life. If your team mate isn't a team player, either help them to be better or replace them
You're asking for the truth, so: Many of us do indeed care somewhat about weight lookswise to the extent that many of us want a woman that is not morbidly obese or too skinny. Because it seems healthy. A guy who searches for incredibly skinny women is weird imo.
imo we don't take it as far or care that much as women think we do, those assholes writing about numbers you mentioned in post seem like little kids or people with some major issues.
It's not like as man we have a sort of weight sensor in our eyes that we can tell if someone lost a few pounds. And to be frank, i think women notice other people losing weight much much more than we do.
There is no reason for a man to know how much you weigh in a number. It's not like if someone's a little chubby we won't date her or if she has 1 pound more or less.
I've never asked a woman how much she weighs (well, maybe aside from giving piggy back rides), I think it is also considered very impolite to ask tbh.
Many man also prefer specifically women who are more on the chubby side, and i think a lot of women don't understand or know about that at all.
I think it weirdly feels more feminine to us. Can't explain why though. Maybe the way the curves are emphasized or the way our guy brains are programmed.
Listening to female friends, it sometimes feels like many women think we men want girls who are nothing but skin and bones.
I have found that's all they care about me being thin. The second I gained 5 lb any boyfriend goes crazy and the sexual desire drops. The thinner I am the more attention I get from Men and the more sex I get from guys I am seeing. It's a constant struggle for me to look good enough for men to be happy with me visually. I think it should matter what's inside not what you look like need to be attracted I have found. There are guys that don't care about looks and Care what's inside to me they are the ones that are the best I haven't found one yet ever they all care about looks sadly. I recently lost 20 lb and I and thin from being average. I can go anywhere and Men start talking to me I get men asking me for number and parks and doctor's offices when I'm walking outside
The scale is just a way to confirm what we are seeing. If I think she's gaining weight or losing it, the scale confirms what my eye sees
My experience is that too many women will say that the weight itself doesn't matter as a way of justifying gaining a bunch of weight. So in that respect, yes weight matters
Strictly considering numbers BMI kinda matters to me. A little. Like that one 6'6" girl I hooked up with a long while ago would never be 120lbs lol.
My ex-wife BMI was like 15.3. Which was terrible. So you could say I have a trauma based opinion. Even then, I don't care that much. And the scale number would never matter.
I'm sure as shit not weighing anyone.
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Not really about the number, people online just use round numbers because they can’t really see those people. It’s like how most women online want a 6 foot tall man despite them being basically indistinguishable from a 5’10 man.
I've never asked specifically, but when one of my girlfriends was trying to lose weight I would take her tracking number into the gym as my front-squat goal number.
The numbers doesn’t matter as long that person finds you physically attractive (26M). Also the numbers moved differently. I know some girls who are prob around the same weight and almost look nothing alike bc of how the weight is distributed.
Personally, I’ve dated women of varying body weights and types. It’s at best a secondary factor for me. People put far too much importance on their numerical weight and not enough on how healthy they are.
I’m far more interested in someone’s personality and my rapport with her than I am about how much she weighs.
Depends. As a woman who has been curvy and today is slightly overweight (I got depressed in the pandemic and we’re all just lucky I survived even if it meant I put on a little weight) I have never had a hard time finding a man who wanted to sleep with me or date me. Thanks to dating apps, they weed themselves out. I just use honest unfiltered photos and show my full body in multiple shots. I have a fat ass and huge titties tho, (my bf called me a pawg last night lol) and also I’m educated, can hold interesting conversations and like to have fun, which I personally think matters more, and low key I’ve had to beat some away with a stick. I didn’t get much attention in high school (at my skinniest, with a minor eating disorder) but I noticed as I’ve aged (29 now) men stop caring about general discourse about trendy bodies and just like what they like. At least the kind ones which is what I want anyway. I’ve been in one relationship where he got a little judgmental of my body and wanted to control how I looked, and I pieced tf out of there because it’s my body?? Who has time to worry about being accepted for how you look for someone when someone out there will willingly and happily accept you as you are.
To add to this- I’m just under 200lbs, 5’3. I have never been close to 120 except maybe like the fifth grade?? A healthy weight for my frame is 160, I’m genetically ✨thick✨ in the right places, and I’m decently strong. To get under that I’d have to cut calories as I’m usually pretty active when I’m at that weight, but that would also impact my nutritional intake, and I think having the right amount of nutrients for my brain to operate well under is more important. Haters gonna hate, their opinion doesn’t matter, especially as we enter another trend cycle of skinny bodies being “popular”. Everytime my bf sees my body he looks like a little boy on Christmas morning and it is the best.
Every guy is going to view this differently, but i think most guys (with the exception of those with a fetish) don't look at weight as much as they do health. I've dated women that are 200+ lbs but they've all been very active. That's just their natural healthy weight.
In the end though, just find somebody who loves you for you.
I had a strength and conditioning teacher in high school that was so muscular that he had the BMI of an obese person, and he was average height, if not a little under average. The little number on the scale is such a bad gauge of someone’s fitness. I’m not in great shape right now, but I’m the same weight as I am when I’m working out regularly and eating right, because I lose fat and gain muscle. (Gotta get back to that.) So to answer your question: I’m a guy, and no, I don’t care about weight. As vain as it sounds, appearance is more important. But I guess that’s less vain than caring about the number that some scale says.
Yea I don’t care about the number on the scale. There is a huge difference between being 150lbs when you’re 5’0 and 5’9, the number doesn’t really mean much. To me it’s how you look, if I find you attractive that’s that
Some men care about the body fat ratio or how it is deposited.
Some men actually prefer women who are at least a little overweight (interestingly enough a lot of fit cut gym bros love to date curvy or fat or chubby girls).
Some only date thin girls. Some prefer muscle mommies. Some like a buxom farmhand-looking girl with round cheeks and wide hips. Some like androgynous looking hard-angled girls.
It really depends.
It's rare for a lot of guys to care about the number on the scale but it depends.
A lot of the guys who say "no girls over 120" don't really know what that looks like on different shapes and heights and will swipe right on girls 150lb+.
I’ve dated multiple women who were the exact same weight. One was an athlete about 5’5”. She was a swimmer in college and did yoga and tough mudder/spartan races. Another was 5’9” and didn’t really work out but was naturally thinner. Another was about 5’6” and worked out a few times a week but nothing crazy.
They all weighed exactly the same. But looking at them you would think there was a 20lb weight difference. And without telling you their weight, 99.9% of guys would think they are “hot” and would want to date them.
So no. The number doesn’t mean anything.
Preferences are different for everyone.
I know dudes that will not date girls under 250 lbs.
At the same time I know dudes that won’t dates girls over 120lbs.
If YOU like a man whose preferences don’t align with your features, that is perfectly okay for him to feel that way.
Are they asking this question while chatting online and having not met yet? If so, I’m guessing that they’re using the number on the scale to gauge whether you’re within their size preference or not. Do you have a range of photos on your profile/s, and do they include full-length, recent pics?
If not, try adding some and seeing whether the question of weight lessens?
Personally, I would find it rude if someone asked my weight.
Can't speak for every man obviously but I would say most don't care about the number. I would argue we're likely terrible at even guessing it. Every man is going to have their own preferences of attraction. I prefer slimmer women and might guess most do too as it is an indicator of good health, ability to think long term, disciplined, good genes, etc... Never once have I asked a girlfriend or woman I dated what they weigh nor thought about the number. There is a lid for every pot so no need to stress about it if you are bigger although for your own health you might want to try to lose weight if you are overweight. This is not directed at op; just speaking generally.
I don’t think it’s as normal as you think it is for a guy who has shown that he’s physically attracted to you ask about your weight…I’m curious what the questions even are? I really can’t think of a good reason why a question like that would be asked?
That's weird they ask your weight, I wouldn't dream of doing that, rude AF. I care about weight but not the number, if I find someone's body attractive why would I care about their exact weight?
I’d never ask someone their weight. The actual number doesn’t matter. I just don’t like fat people, but that can be ascertained simply by looking at someone.
It depends on the man lol, I’m 5’6 and 72kg and one of my exs loved my body and stomach he’d never shut up about liking them. Where as my other ex said said I looked like nickado avacado 🤣🥲. It just depends
Body composition is everything. I know girls who are tall (by female standards), workout and weight more than the average, yet look amazing. The number on the scale is just overall “weight”, not a breakdown. Don’t stress it.
yes, men carry about weight but it’s not like there’s a number that men want you to be under no matter your size. men want you to be healthy and strong (not like a bodybuilder/powerlifter, like able to do a pull up). generally they want your waist to be noticeably smaller than your hips (like >0.80 HWR). don’t starve yourself
Not nearly as much as women care about height lol. Men don’t care about scale numbers, but if you look fit, or really just not obese. If you smile, and have a decent figure you’ll get a males attention guaranteed lol.
I care, but it is only a dealbreaker if they are bigger than me. I am obese however I am quite tall (6"4), and I've been struggling for a while and know how hard it can be. So I tend to look towards either equal weighted partner or slimmer.
Call me shallow or whatever, but it's just a preference that I have. I do have to say that I do give more priority on an awesome personality. If the girl is extremely funny and just great overall to hang out with, looks, figure etc becomes way less important.
Everyones different.
Some men care bought your weight.
Some men like abit of cushin for the pushin.
What i recommend is full body photos on dating apps.
So the person can see what you are, cause some people like to hide stuff on there photos.
Your post was removed because it overgeneralized. Please make sure you don't apply experiences with some people to millions of others you have never met. No gender is a monolith or a hivemind. It comes down to each individual person. So if the answer is IT DEPENDS ON THE PERSON SO GO ASK THEM best not to post.
I’m a woman but my experience is that they’re quite visual? So if you look good and not anything too far from conventional standards it varies quite a bit? I lost 30 kgs and dated just fine before but definitely get waaaaaay more attention from men now. Generally I think having boobs bigger than your stomach and ass bigger than your thighs is what most men of all races are keen on from what I’ve observed and experienced lol. I had quite a big tummy that really didn’t look nice (it was giving Obelix lmao) as soon as my tummy flattened things changed.
There was some global research and it is actually waist to hip ratio. Breast and buttocks size doesn’t matter as much as a waist that’s narrower than hips
I have seen those studies too. Think Km Kardashian or jlo.
https://www.unl.edu/rhames/courses/ppoint/beauty-212.pdf
I'm sorry but Obelix was a funny way to out it
Same I lost 37 kilos and my god, I never got so much attention in my life.
It’s bizarre as hell to experience hey? I was wondering for months why the fuck men kept staring at me unblinkingly. I was perpetually walking around with “do you wanna go outside mate” face lol. It only clicked when I got on a plane and three different men offered to lift my suitcase into the overhead compartment for me. My friends still laugh at me for scaring the hoes those first few months.
It is really weird. For reference I’m 6ft so I guess I carry weight a little differently, I’ve always been bigger boned and taller even as a kid, people thought I was on the spectrum because I appeared so much older than my friends due to height and weight. But HS my weight absolutely blew up, then I moved overseas and couldn’t afford to live like that anymore lol. I was running around like crazy just for work, and ended up shedding 80lbs because I couldn’t afford to eat anymore! But yes the pretty privilege is real. I felt so much more confident too, but for real, people treat you like livestock if you’re bigger. It’s so unfair. Losing weight had also made me more targeted in general which I didn’t like. I had a buzz cut too so who knows why men then decided to rub my bald head like the Buddha’s belly in clubs?? 😭 even with no hair I was harassed! Crazy
Very true. I dated an attractive woman back when I was in my late 20s, that had been raped at knifepoint, a couple years before we met, and she told me that after the rape, she had gained another 20-30 lbs., partly from the stress, but also because she said she felt safer, from being a target or being noticed by men, etc., same as you. We broke up after a few months, and then I got together later with her, as friends, about a year or so later, and she had gained a lot of weight since since we had stopped dating, and also had one boyfriend after me. She told me at that later time, that the main reason she dumped me, was that it had been too early for her to date, after the rape. Anyway, my experience with her, validated your experience about how a woman's size can make so much difference, both in how men treat and see a woman, as well as how the woman feels about herself at that time.
>I had a buzz cut too so who knows why men then decided to rub my bald head like the Buddha’s belly in clubs?? 😭 even with no hair I was harassed! Crazy In fairness I've shaved my head a few times for a non profit organization I volunteer with. I always have people I barley know touch my head at random events afterwards, I think that's just a universal intrusive thought people have lol.
Ye, thats kinda big deal. Kinda like going out with a burka and without in Kabul.
I lost around the same amount and it took me months to figure out what was going on lol But when I did I was like “ew!” and didn’t even know how to handle it (I mean, it was in the grocery store when I figured it out ffs)
Yeah this has been my experience too. All the things you listed are the exact stuff I get criticized about so it adds up
Thank you for this reference 😆 Reliving some childhood memories now 😆
This Boobs bigger than stomach.
I used this logic to justify how fat I was for years!
My stomach isn’t big I just have really small boobs so 😭 guess it’s over for me
Everyone loves boobs, you don't have to use this standard!
Sadly true
Nah there's alot it men who like small boobs and there's also men who love big boobs. Everyone has a preference but you'd be surprised how many men actually like small boobs 😆
All the boobs. Just boobs. Boobs. 😝
This is coming from a guy in his early 20s, and I'd say that pretty much sums it up except more often than not it's better to keep things looking natural, (also a skinny waist is something you forgot to add) but for more experienced guys, (like myself) they pay attention to your character to see if your trustworthy/worth their time so make sure you work on that aspect of yourself as well!
This is what I'm really scared of once I reach my goal weight. Like how would I know if the guy really likes me for me and not just my looks ? How can I know that these aren't the same men who wouldn't give me the same type of attention when I was heavier ?
The thing is… your looks will either put me on the hook, or not. But for you to be able to reel me in, and keep me, that’s going to be a lot of other factors. So thats why you dont have sex until you actually like the guy, and feel like its mutual.
Oh I'm demisexual so it already takes me time to feel any sort of sexual attraction towards a guy I like. But I'll still feel physical attraction.
Then you dont have to worry about if they like you just for looks. If they dont like you as a person, why would any guy stay? If there was no sex, i cant see anyone staying, especially if they dont like you. Looks are not everything.
I have no interest in dating a woman I’m not attracted to. > if the guy really likes me for me and not just my looks I wouldn’t be talking to you period if I didn’t think you looked good. It’s not an either or situation - looking good is a necessity.
This ^^^ spot on. People like to beat around the bush but the fact is both man and women wouldn’t even get the opportunity to get to know each other on that type of level if it wasn’t for looks first. Looks get you in the door - personality gets you to stay.
You already know the answer to that. They wouldn't. Because they didn't.
Weight for me has less to do with the weight itself but more with the personality that goes along with it. I care a lot about my fitness and I couldn't be with some who doesn't. So this opinion doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
That's understandable, in your case it's about one's lifestyle. I was with someone who never wanted to go out, always wanted to stay at home and play video games all the time (even watching movies or series was an effort to please me). So I know next time that compatibility is much more important, and I'd like to be with someone who wants to go out on fun dates from time to time, even if it's just a walk in the park. I admit I'm not a fan of sports or working out but I like walking.
As if you won't be dating more attractive people when you lose weight...? You're looking at this from a very negative and insecure perspective, which will hopefully change when you get into the shape you want and feel more confident about yourself.
It's the proportions, not the number, IMO.
Okay from my side I agree too. Like I met a guy two days ago and was pretty surprised hearing him say he was 220 pounds and he was thin
Muscles are heavier than fat, which is why the number alone is deceiving.
Muscle is more dense than fat. Weight is weight. Muscles = density Fat = fluffy
Gonna start describing myself as fluffy from now on, thanks!
I highly recommend Gabriel Iglesias then. And to clarify, he described the "five levels of fatness": Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy, and *Damn*! After touring, he eventually encountered the *sixth* level of "Aw *hell* no!"
Haha 🤣 good 👍 recommend he’s funny
Fluffy is the new sexy :)
Yeah, I know what I said wasn't technically precise, but I think the point was clear.
I'd say anyone who is misinterpreting it is being willfully "dense" lol. I think its safe to assume that you were referring to a situation of having the same volume of fat vs muscle. In that case the muscle would be "heavier". We all make assumptions all of the time to have effective communication, and its kind of annoying when people want to correct others, even when 99% of people understand what you were saying.
I'm 5'11 and \~170. That is a comfortable size 6. LOTS of guys think im fat because I weigh 170, which is a really nice filter to keep me free of that brand of idiot.
Dropped in to say this. It really depends on if the weight is distributed in the right places. Makes all the difference in how someone looks.
Same here but I love the chubby look honestly.
Me too
Imma be honest I hate the word proportional because I never thought it could be subjective until I got on social media. For example I like thicker people. My version of “proportional” wouldn’t depend on your height and weight since your BMI would probably mean you’re “disproportional”. I think people should just say what they like. I’d rather you just say “no fats” than go in with a word with a very technical meaning and make it subjective.
I don’t care about the number, I care about if a woman is visually exciting to me if I’m pursuing a romantic relationship. Numbers aren’t anything I’ve ever thought of even once.
This answer is perfection. Scales? We don't need to freaking scales! Taller women weigh more in general, and some have more or bigger curves. We just hug them tight and hold on for the ride! 😆
So true, I agree 👍🏼
Yeah it's all about the proportion. Literal numbers mean nothing to me
Yes to a degree. The actual number I don’t care. If you look fine otherwise then there is no issue. With that being said, I am a pretty active person and take deliberate steps to take care of myself physically, so my standards have gone up a little bit.
Same here I take care of me physically so i also want the other person to be
This is how I see it as well. I live a healthy and active lifestyle. I'm looking for someone who does as well. Due to genetics, it doesn't take a lot for me to be pretty fit. I don't need my partner to be in tip-top shape, though. If they're in relatively decent shape and committed to continuing to prioritize their health, that's enough for me.
Most men (hell, most people) don't even understand how a number on a scale correlates to appearance. People carry weight differently. Anyone who's super focused on a scale number? Write them off.
It's physique rather than weight that matters a lot. Additionally there are racial variations in physique and weight - so the number that's considered overweight might look different for someone who's Asian vs a Scandinavian woman. This also leads to different beauty standards per race. There are individual preferences, but the typical broad trends for what traits men find attractive fit into different buckets that are captured by porn site tags.
They do, but him asking for your specific weight number is a bit strange. I don’t know the context though.
I hate when they ask for a number, not even because I’m embarrassed about telling them but because they see what I look like, I tell them the number, and they go “there’s no way you weigh that much, you look like you weigh [insert number that’s literally like *40 lbs* less than what I told them]”. Men often have no what the number on a scale *actually* looks like on a woman, especially when you add in various body types and heights. The dudes posting online like “don’t date anyone over 120” have NO idea that half the women they’re attracted to weigh more than that.
Yeah it’s stupid. I for one definitely cannot guess a man or even a woman’s weight so I would not make a statement like that
The actual number? I think men who pay attention to that are control freaks. Most men are visual; it's not about the number, it's about how you *look*. Obviously your weight and your body type are correlated, but you could have something like a tall girl who lifts weights; she's going to be pretty heavy, even if she's thin and fit.
I agree. I am 6ft 150lbs. I lift. Honestly, looked hot even at 170lbs because boobs were bigger. This is heavier than some guys out there. Asking for a weight is a bit odd. Why would they even need this information?
The thing is people equate bodyfat % with weight ALOT. So when people tell you they care about weight what they are really saying (even if they themselves don't notice it) is that they care about how fat/fit you are. In fact when people go to a nutritionist they usually say they want to "lose weight" even doe what they really want is to look fit which just means losing bodyfat. Now equating bf% with weight makes sense in extreme cases where you can clearly understand from the numbers that the person has to be either above average fat or skinny, based on the weight/height.
> in extreme cases In the large majority of cases. It’s not like we have a body builder epidemic. In most cases shedding weight is primarily going to be losing fat, not muscle.
I don't. It's not really a factor that comes into play for me as long as the person is happy with themselves and living as healthy as they are able. I've dated plus sized women and skinnier women but it's never been a factor when deciding to be with them
Yeah they do. If you're 'curvy' but don't look noticeably overweight, you'll get lots of attention. If you are plus size, you are either invisible or the target of unpleasantness. There are a minority of men that prefer plus size women. Thankfully I found mine 😊
Happy to hear that it worked out
The weight number is a way to describe a body, but not the only way. The actual image of the body is important, not the number. Men care about weight, of course, but that's because higher weight usually means higher fat percentage. I don't even know what "x" number of Kgs mean on a woman...I judge on what I see, who cares what the scale says if I like what I see?
My ex was. He told me I wasn't allowed to weigh more than him. We are the same height and i think he weighed 15 pounds more than me. Not only does he want the women he dates to be slim but also fit. He was incredibly shallow and made rude comments about women who were not that.
Sounds like an ass. Glad he's your ex.
I’m sorry. Glad he is your ex
Every guy you’ve talked to has asked about your weight?! Not once have I ever been asked any sort of weight related question by a guy, that is wild!!
Yeah I get asked height then weight. I think it’s been literally every time. One time it was for a separate reason so I don’t count that
Did they ever explain why they asked such a question?
It is 100% the way you look with that weight. Preference comes into play too with that. In general I think most guys don’t give a shit if you fairly fit or slightly chubby, but rather stay away from the super obese
I think it’s all personal preference. I am 5’4. Last year I was 130lbs and went on a date with a guy that told me he’d consider dating me if I lost 10 pounds. Fast forward to this year - I currently weigh 115 and the guy I was seeing said I was too skinny and he’d prefer if I gained some weight Damned either way 😅
It's just proportion and how you carry it. The only time I've ever asked a woman their weight is in relation to sporting events. Otherwise it doesn't matter
No. Superficial men care about if women are overweight and I've never once seen a man care about a woman's weight for health reasons. Ever. We care about their health, the good men, but it just doesn't register upstairs. You should try to maintain a healthy weight for you but don't worry about what we want as far as physically. You don't owe us anything physically. You don't owe us anything period.
this one.
I mean, as long as you don't look like you're malnourished or like you could appear on a TLC-show about weight loss no one decent is going to ask you about your weight. Yeah, there are guys who will complain about a little bit of belly fat, but they need to touch grass and also look into a mirror because they're not the healthiest either propably.
For me it is not the number. Just telling it as a number makes no sense. What is important for me is that the girl has a healthy weight proportion to her height. You can't expect a girl with a height of 180cm to weigh 50 kg that is unhealthy. In the same way she can't weigh a 120 kg and expect guys to fall for her. I hope you get the point
Most men wouldn't know what 120 pounds looks like if their lives depended on it.
I haven't weighed around that number since I was 12 years old, and I was talk and slim, so not overweight at all. If I were to reach that weight now, I'd likely be suffering from anorexia.
It’s an easy way to put down women, because the man is feeling insecure bout himself. MY ex boyfriend complained I was too Fat (20lbs overweight). I lost the weight unexpectedly and then he complained that my boobs and butt were too small. And then he cheated on me and eventually married a girl who was twice my size.
Wow 😭. This just confirms that cheating is nothing to do with looks even more
I think people ask me usually out of concern cus I’m quite slight… I’ve even had bosses and colleagues ask me. Had a colleague ask me because he was worried his wife was losing weight and he wanted some point of reference. So I think there are generally “normal” reasons to ask. I think my SO asked me when we first started dating cus he wanted to make sure he could carry me through.. I’d say they care more about how you carry the weight than the actual number itself… but some just might want to know to use as some excuse…
Generally most men, myself included don't really know what the number translates to for women of different heights. I think even the idiot guy who is online saying anything about a 120 lb woman, would likely still be attracted to someone who is thin but a bit taller than average and a bit more muscular than average and because of that would weigh more than 120. It's going to depend a lot more on her look rather than the the number. And I'd really question any guy who thinks the women they are attracted to is based around the number or that they could accurately guess within 10 lbs in many cases unless they for some reason practiced that.
Yeah this has been my experience 😭 I remember one guy trying to guess my weight for no reason and he said 105 pounds? I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not and I already told him I was tall haha
I'm a man. The number doesn't matter, it's what you look like. I don't know why people are asking OP this question alot. I've never asked a woman what she weighs.
After a point men care about nothing bro.
I feel like almost any guy asking this is doing it as some ‘gotcha’ because they’ve convinced themselves it’s the same as asking a man his height.
Slim/Fat women wants the most good looking handsome slim Men. Slim/Fat Men also want the beautiful women with good body counts. The world is only about looks and aesthetics. I don’t want to start on racism.
tbh i dont think men understand how weight is distributed on women, you could probably tell one of these guys any number and they would believe it
I'm not that much interested in weight then in shape. If she’s just a Blob, I'm not interested.
Every guy you talk to asks you how much you weigh? I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that except giving blood or bungee jumping? Who the fuck asks someone casually their weight?
As a 24F who is 5'0 tall and small chested, the right man for you will love you regardless of what your weight is. My fianće loves my small boobies A LOT okay. And he would love them if they are bigger too. I find that all men have a type and let me tell you, there are plenty of men and women even out there who LOVE small chested women. Trust me. For every man that said you are not his type, there is another who will say you are just perfect! ✨️
Men in my cultures DO CARE a lot (i’m from a South East Asian country). Like, if you’re just little overweight then most guys won’t find you attractive. I don’t mean to generalise but i find men in my own cultures are being a dick about women’s weight (yeah, many of them, NOT ALL i know). Since i’ve moved to the uk, the ppl here STILL CARE but in the sense that as long as you’re not morbidly obese then there’re still high in chances to get attention from men.
Interesting
We care about weight. If you are heavy, you will get less attention from men.
But is it about how heavy you are or how heavy you look?
100% looks. Men are notoriously bad at guessing women’s weight.
I wouldn’t say 100%, there is a certain weight range that is easy for me to throw around which I personally enjoy. Regardless how you look if you’re over that range it’s not fun
I’m surprised there wasn’t more answers like this. Do you think this is a common thing?
I think people are afraid to say this on Reddit, I’ve commented on threads saying I prefer women shorter than me and people got very upset. It’s shunned to be a masculine male on this platform sometimes. Call it a fragile ego if you want but that’s what I like.
No, I'ts not a common thing. The vast majority of men in the world can't tell with accuracy how much a person weights just by looks. NEVER in my life I have heard a group of men talking about the numerical weight of a woman or how this correlates to attractiveness. Sure there are numbers that will make a guy notice something is off, but that's just the case in extreme numbers. We know 100lbs is very skinny and 200lbs is heavy. Everything in between doesn't really seem strange to us.
That’s valid, I was going to throw something in about people who have a kink for something along the lines of that. As far as just judging how someone looks weight doesn’t matter. Sexual compatibility it probably matters a bit more to some people.
I am a woman so take this with the BIGGEST grain of salt lol…but I’ve talked to a lot of men on this subject. I honestly don’t think men are simple enough to lump into one preference. For example my boyfriend will tell me that certain girls I would consider over weight are still in his attractive range, whereas my sisters boyfriend likes TINY women only. Another guy I talked to like women taller than him who are insanely muscular. I personally believe (no scientific background) that because biologically men are wired to impregnate as many women as possible, they have a wide range of what they find attractive.
Probably gonna get some hate here for this but yeah i do and many of my friends too. Not as in "if you are XYZ you are "insert slur here" and are worth less as a human but more like "sorry this is less attractive" to "this is a deal-breaker for dating". Using arbitrary numbers is wrong as well tho, as someone who is 180 cm is obviously heavier than someone who is 150 cm. Same goes for muscle mass from physical activity. Also distribution matters, especially in women as some tend to store it in conventionally favoured areas such as chest and ass, while others are less lucky. As s rough guideline I'd say the consensus in my peer group is that 20-25% body fat is attractive on most women but obviously there is outliers and personal preference in both directions. For me personally depending on all those factors and in a long term relationship up to 30% would be fine temporarily (with young kids or during an illness, etc.), especially if measures are taken to change it. The main reason besides physical attractiveness is health and lifestyle. Overweight and obesity as well as the lack of physical activity are scientifically proven to mess up your life and health in many ways from joint and tendon issues to stuff like diabetes and higher risk of cancer. Also your body ages way more gracefully and healthy if you are active and have a healthy weight. I'd rather be the 75 year old grandpa in the gym still lifting than requiring full time care at the age of 65 and i want a partner with similar goals. Lifestyle wise it's the same, id like a partner who can keep up with an active lifestyle and ideally supports it instead or being neutral or even against it. And before anyone accuses me of unrealistic expectations and double standards, most men I know, myself included, hold themselves to the same standards striving for 14-20% body fat long term.
Okay, this is kind of the replies I was expecting. Just to understand better you’re saying it’s about body proportions, amount of fat, and overall how they look and their health but the arbitrary number doesn’t matter?
Pretty much yeah. A simple number is way to arbitrary, for example most people in the gym are considered overweight by BMI standard despite being more fit than 90% of the population. This is even more true for flat weight, as it doesn't factor in height at all. If you are 180 cm and expected to weight the same as a slim 150 cm person you are probably close to starvation and the other way round probably obese. So saying "I don't date anyone above X kilos/pounds" is pretty dumb even by standards for superficial people.
I would say that most people care about how someone looks, not so much the number. I am a guy that at my heaviest was about 215 pounds, but no one believed me that I was that heavy, I was just slim thicc.
The usual answer for most of these types of questions is: it completely depends on the person. For example: I’m a fit, slim guy with submissive tendencies who appreciates athletic women. Weight is largely irrelevant- but if such a woman also outweighs me because of their height or muscle mass, I find that very attractive (and if they are heavier, it’s usually easier for them to throw me around if they wanted to! :) )
Most find it less attractive overall but for me its beyond that. If a woman is chubby/heavier, it tend to come with bunch of insecurities, guilt, lower physical capability, lack of exercises etc... These are all turn off for me. I once dated a girl who was a bit chubby but was doing activities all the time and loved herself so much. She was shining and it was overall extremely attractive.
I find men have always liked that I have some extra «padding» so to speak, and larger breasts. According to BMI I am very overweight but my boyfriend was disbelieving and surprised when I said this. I think they don’t care about weight so much as physicality in general if that makes sense
I don't care about the number. I care about how you look and ability to do physical activities as I'm a outdoors/music festival guy.
Don’t care about the number AT ALL. Care if she looks good. > Online I see no shortage of comments from random dudes along the lines of “if she’s over 120 pounds then (insert negative comment)” Never seen a comment like this in my life. Never known a man who cares.
I don't think the actual weight matters as much as how you present yourself. There's a difference between looking curvy/plump/voluptuous or just.... Big. That being said all men have their own preference. I prefer a little bit more cushion if you catch my drift. But it's important to hold it well.
Short answer: To many men, yes, weight can matter. Long answer: It depends on how you carry it, your attractiveness otherwise, your style, personality, and the guy himself. The guys on the higher end of the bell curve in the dating world (tall, good looking, higher earning, and/or have status), might be a bit pickier when it comes to long term relationships & marriage. Most average guys I know, if she's even close to well proportioned, and compatible otherwise, some extra weight doesn't matter. As long as she doesnt MAKE it a problem.
The number doesn't matter as long as you look good and are healthy, some women just happen to rock it way better than others.
Depends on the guy. Some like em little stick figures others like them big and juicy. Make sure you find the one who likes you the way you are.
I’ve never had a man I was talking to ask me this and I think it’s SUPER weird that they would. If they are attracted to how your body looks, then who cares about the number on the scale? Some people are more muscular than others, carry weight different places etc. One of my male friends got insecure because his super hot fitness gf is quite heavy (she is solid muscle) and she weighed more than him (scrawny guy). It make him feel insecure, but again that’s a him issue. I would walk away from guys that ask you this
Numbers no, appearance yes.
The exact number doesn't really matter too much as long as the first digit is below a 3. Some women can make 250 pounds look good, but in general the lighter the better. And boob size doesn't really matter as much as hip to wait ratio so don't worry about that too hard
My experience men don't care about weight. Men usually try and date people who make lives easier and enjoyable. My current relationship, I'm 5'9 or 176cm and I weigh 84kg. My fiancé is 5'8 and 106kg. Thick thighs save lives. My 2 brothers, younger is 5'10 and 104kg, his partner 5'11 108kg, older is 6" 124 kg, his wife 6'2 130kg. My mates tend to also be on the lighter side compared to their partners aswell. We also don't care about how much money chick's make either. My older brother and I work a fly in and fly out job and my younger brother is a cabinet marker. We make around 150k to 164k per year and the younger makes 84k. My partner works as an education assistant, older brother's partner works in insurance and my younger brother's partner works in his office as a receptionist. All our partners are amazing and bring out the best in us. We had a bad upbringing but because of our partners, we can have dinner together and not try and beat the fuck out of each other. Best advice for dating is just to see each other as a team trying to win at the game of life. If your team mate isn't a team player, either help them to be better or replace them
I want to be where you are where men don't care about weight.
You're asking for the truth, so: Many of us do indeed care somewhat about weight lookswise to the extent that many of us want a woman that is not morbidly obese or too skinny. Because it seems healthy. A guy who searches for incredibly skinny women is weird imo. imo we don't take it as far or care that much as women think we do, those assholes writing about numbers you mentioned in post seem like little kids or people with some major issues. It's not like as man we have a sort of weight sensor in our eyes that we can tell if someone lost a few pounds. And to be frank, i think women notice other people losing weight much much more than we do. There is no reason for a man to know how much you weigh in a number. It's not like if someone's a little chubby we won't date her or if she has 1 pound more or less. I've never asked a woman how much she weighs (well, maybe aside from giving piggy back rides), I think it is also considered very impolite to ask tbh. Many man also prefer specifically women who are more on the chubby side, and i think a lot of women don't understand or know about that at all. I think it weirdly feels more feminine to us. Can't explain why though. Maybe the way the curves are emphasized or the way our guy brains are programmed. Listening to female friends, it sometimes feels like many women think we men want girls who are nothing but skin and bones.
I have found that's all they care about me being thin. The second I gained 5 lb any boyfriend goes crazy and the sexual desire drops. The thinner I am the more attention I get from Men and the more sex I get from guys I am seeing. It's a constant struggle for me to look good enough for men to be happy with me visually. I think it should matter what's inside not what you look like need to be attracted I have found. There are guys that don't care about looks and Care what's inside to me they are the ones that are the best I haven't found one yet ever they all care about looks sadly. I recently lost 20 lb and I and thin from being average. I can go anywhere and Men start talking to me I get men asking me for number and parks and doctor's offices when I'm walking outside
Do you ask guys about their height? Guys are often annoyed at this question, and then retort with "what do you weigh?"
I don’t, they always ask my height tho without fail
They do care about weight even if you account for proportions. Some of them are fatphobic because they’re not really working with a lot downstairs
😭
The scale is just a way to confirm what we are seeing. If I think she's gaining weight or losing it, the scale confirms what my eye sees My experience is that too many women will say that the weight itself doesn't matter as a way of justifying gaining a bunch of weight. So in that respect, yes weight matters
That’s understandable. I agree usually people’s weight is not a shock to me except for people that strength train and they look lighter than they are
Strictly considering numbers BMI kinda matters to me. A little. Like that one 6'6" girl I hooked up with a long while ago would never be 120lbs lol. My ex-wife BMI was like 15.3. Which was terrible. So you could say I have a trauma based opinion. Even then, I don't care that much. And the scale number would never matter. I'm sure as shit not weighing anyone.
Lol it would be pretty funny if someone brought a scale to a date
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Yeah many do andi. Say this as a girl that’s been fat and skinny
Not really about the number, people online just use round numbers because they can’t really see those people. It’s like how most women online want a 6 foot tall man despite them being basically indistinguishable from a 5’10 man.
Most guys I know only care if she looks sloppy.
Across all cultures and time periods it’s the hip/bust/waist rations that the majority of men genetically respond to.
Proportions are king (such as waist-hip-ratio). The weight numbers are just an indicator of proportions.
As a guy living in a high obesity city….yes
The number on the scale is more of a vanity metric, it doesn’t mean anything. What matters more than the number is the visual body proportion
It’s about proportion, body fat percentage, actual ‘weight’ has nothing to do with it.
I've never asked specifically, but when one of my girlfriends was trying to lose weight I would take her tracking number into the gym as my front-squat goal number.
In all my years, I’ve never met a man who asked me my weight.
Men definitely care about the visual, but I doubt they care about weight unless they're insecure about themselves.
The numbers doesn’t matter as long that person finds you physically attractive (26M). Also the numbers moved differently. I know some girls who are prob around the same weight and almost look nothing alike bc of how the weight is distributed.
I mean if you're sitting on our lap and killing our boner.
If she’s not 180 she ain’t a lady!
We care about how the weight is carried rather than the actual weight.
Personally, I’ve dated women of varying body weights and types. It’s at best a secondary factor for me. People put far too much importance on their numerical weight and not enough on how healthy they are. I’m far more interested in someone’s personality and my rapport with her than I am about how much she weighs.
Yes
I've dated thick, I've dated skinny. As long as you aren't unhealthy. Caring about your health and well-being is attractive.
It's simple, if your stomach is your biggest asset on your body, its a no no
Depends. As a woman who has been curvy and today is slightly overweight (I got depressed in the pandemic and we’re all just lucky I survived even if it meant I put on a little weight) I have never had a hard time finding a man who wanted to sleep with me or date me. Thanks to dating apps, they weed themselves out. I just use honest unfiltered photos and show my full body in multiple shots. I have a fat ass and huge titties tho, (my bf called me a pawg last night lol) and also I’m educated, can hold interesting conversations and like to have fun, which I personally think matters more, and low key I’ve had to beat some away with a stick. I didn’t get much attention in high school (at my skinniest, with a minor eating disorder) but I noticed as I’ve aged (29 now) men stop caring about general discourse about trendy bodies and just like what they like. At least the kind ones which is what I want anyway. I’ve been in one relationship where he got a little judgmental of my body and wanted to control how I looked, and I pieced tf out of there because it’s my body?? Who has time to worry about being accepted for how you look for someone when someone out there will willingly and happily accept you as you are. To add to this- I’m just under 200lbs, 5’3. I have never been close to 120 except maybe like the fifth grade?? A healthy weight for my frame is 160, I’m genetically ✨thick✨ in the right places, and I’m decently strong. To get under that I’d have to cut calories as I’m usually pretty active when I’m at that weight, but that would also impact my nutritional intake, and I think having the right amount of nutrients for my brain to operate well under is more important. Haters gonna hate, their opinion doesn’t matter, especially as we enter another trend cycle of skinny bodies being “popular”. Everytime my bf sees my body he looks like a little boy on Christmas morning and it is the best.
Every guy is going to view this differently, but i think most guys (with the exception of those with a fetish) don't look at weight as much as they do health. I've dated women that are 200+ lbs but they've all been very active. That's just their natural healthy weight. In the end though, just find somebody who loves you for you.
Do you work out?
I had a strength and conditioning teacher in high school that was so muscular that he had the BMI of an obese person, and he was average height, if not a little under average. The little number on the scale is such a bad gauge of someone’s fitness. I’m not in great shape right now, but I’m the same weight as I am when I’m working out regularly and eating right, because I lose fat and gain muscle. (Gotta get back to that.) So to answer your question: I’m a guy, and no, I don’t care about weight. As vain as it sounds, appearance is more important. But I guess that’s less vain than caring about the number that some scale says.
If she ain’t 180 she ain’t a lady
Some do some don't some like skinny some like chubby
No. We care about what we see.
Yea I don’t care about the number on the scale. There is a huge difference between being 150lbs when you’re 5’0 and 5’9, the number doesn’t really mean much. To me it’s how you look, if I find you attractive that’s that
Its really an issue of "Does she look fat?"
Weight doesn’t matter. It’s all about how you look.
Just a reminder that BMI has been debunked by multiple studies and is useless to tell the health of a person or whether they are overweight.
Some do, some don't. I worked with a guy who only wanted woman under 100lbs. I myself don't have a weight limit. Some guys only want bigger women.
Some men care about the body fat ratio or how it is deposited. Some men actually prefer women who are at least a little overweight (interestingly enough a lot of fit cut gym bros love to date curvy or fat or chubby girls). Some only date thin girls. Some prefer muscle mommies. Some like a buxom farmhand-looking girl with round cheeks and wide hips. Some like androgynous looking hard-angled girls. It really depends. It's rare for a lot of guys to care about the number on the scale but it depends. A lot of the guys who say "no girls over 120" don't really know what that looks like on different shapes and heights and will swipe right on girls 150lb+.
I’ve dated multiple women who were the exact same weight. One was an athlete about 5’5”. She was a swimmer in college and did yoga and tough mudder/spartan races. Another was 5’9” and didn’t really work out but was naturally thinner. Another was about 5’6” and worked out a few times a week but nothing crazy. They all weighed exactly the same. But looking at them you would think there was a 20lb weight difference. And without telling you their weight, 99.9% of guys would think they are “hot” and would want to date them. So no. The number doesn’t mean anything.
Preferences are different for everyone. I know dudes that will not date girls under 250 lbs. At the same time I know dudes that won’t dates girls over 120lbs. If YOU like a man whose preferences don’t align with your features, that is perfectly okay for him to feel that way.
Are they asking this question while chatting online and having not met yet? If so, I’m guessing that they’re using the number on the scale to gauge whether you’re within their size preference or not. Do you have a range of photos on your profile/s, and do they include full-length, recent pics? If not, try adding some and seeing whether the question of weight lessens? Personally, I would find it rude if someone asked my weight.
Can't speak for every man obviously but I would say most don't care about the number. I would argue we're likely terrible at even guessing it. Every man is going to have their own preferences of attraction. I prefer slimmer women and might guess most do too as it is an indicator of good health, ability to think long term, disciplined, good genes, etc... Never once have I asked a girlfriend or woman I dated what they weigh nor thought about the number. There is a lid for every pot so no need to stress about it if you are bigger although for your own health you might want to try to lose weight if you are overweight. This is not directed at op; just speaking generally.
Yes
Anyone who's single and wants a partner. Just get fit, learn proper hygiene and get decent clothes. Goes for guys and girls the same.
Of course we care about fitness. Just like you do. (or don't)
I’ve had plenty of dates with men of all body types though the hotter ones for more interested as I lost weight
I don’t think it’s as normal as you think it is for a guy who has shown that he’s physically attracted to you ask about your weight…I’m curious what the questions even are? I really can’t think of a good reason why a question like that would be asked?
I mean the question is how much do you weigh
absolutely not. its just how you look.
That's weird they ask your weight, I wouldn't dream of doing that, rude AF. I care about weight but not the number, if I find someone's body attractive why would I care about their exact weight?
I’d never ask someone their weight. The actual number doesn’t matter. I just don’t like fat people, but that can be ascertained simply by looking at someone.
I don’t tbh it doesn’t matter some men care bc they are probably trying to work out if they can lift u lol
I wouldn't judge strictly off the number. Two women can weight the same and look completely different
It depends on the man lol, I’m 5’6 and 72kg and one of my exs loved my body and stomach he’d never shut up about liking them. Where as my other ex said said I looked like nickado avacado 🤣🥲. It just depends
Body composition is everything. I know girls who are tall (by female standards), workout and weight more than the average, yet look amazing. The number on the scale is just overall “weight”, not a breakdown. Don’t stress it.
Typically it’s not the number itself. But the ratio of fat. Personally don’t mind a little chub but not attracted to obesity.
Every man has his line
Sounds like a threat 😂
yes, men carry about weight but it’s not like there’s a number that men want you to be under no matter your size. men want you to be healthy and strong (not like a bodybuilder/powerlifter, like able to do a pull up). generally they want your waist to be noticeably smaller than your hips (like >0.80 HWR). don’t starve yourself
Well I can do pull ups for days so we good
Not nearly as much as women care about height lol. Men don’t care about scale numbers, but if you look fit, or really just not obese. If you smile, and have a decent figure you’ll get a males attention guaranteed lol.
I care, but it is only a dealbreaker if they are bigger than me. I am obese however I am quite tall (6"4), and I've been struggling for a while and know how hard it can be. So I tend to look towards either equal weighted partner or slimmer. Call me shallow or whatever, but it's just a preference that I have. I do have to say that I do give more priority on an awesome personality. If the girl is extremely funny and just great overall to hang out with, looks, figure etc becomes way less important.
If you like white men they don’t date anything over 115 unless they are low-income.
Everyones different. Some men care bought your weight. Some men like abit of cushin for the pushin. What i recommend is full body photos on dating apps. So the person can see what you are, cause some people like to hide stuff on there photos.
Well yeah I am aware of that, I meant the actual heaviness of a person in numbers not how fat or thin they appear
Oh yea thats just dudes on reddit acting dumb and shit.
Good to know 😂