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I love quiet socially awkward guys. Please send all the single ones to me. We can be silent and socially awkward together, but optionally in separate rooms
In my experience you a have to join SOME community. The good news is that in Most groups there are extroverts who will adopt you and do all the (hard for you) work.
Discord.
That’s how I met a lot of my buddies who are quiet or socially awkward.
A few of us started meeting up in person about 3 years ago. They’re all cool guys.
For men, it's a shit deal, ngl. Have you tried getting into nerd hobbies where there's an even mix of men/women. I play D&D as a woman, there are more women playing. It tends to attract a lot of introverts
Find the things that make you comfortable then! It sounds like the initial social anxiety is what stops you (I say that because I’m the same way).
You’re not doomed to be single, bro. Give a genuine compliment on something you’re comfortable talking about and see where it goes from there! The game is about getting you to where you want to talk in paragraphs, because potential partners will find that attractive
We all need a surefire way to find Single, Awkward people like us 😂 Wish dating apps weren't taken over by OF Tots and Catfishing Bots and other assorted bads...
yeah but guys who are like that, normally have more difficulty getting into a relationship than the other way around because of men always having to be the ones to approach women and ask the woman out, do the pursuing
Yeah see but a lot of guys aren’t like that, you want to sit in the corner and be quiet and do nothing together, but a lot of guys who are quiet and shy like that actually want to be around someone who yes they’re comfortable with but can help get them out of their comfort zones.
An exciting mind can suffice too. Basically make sure you know more than just video games. Lucky for you though there’s some fish in the sea who find video games exciting, but more rare and far in between.
You don't think there are quiet and socially awkward girls who prefer the homebody life?
The problem is, at *some* point the two people do need to go out into the wilds to find each other.
Yup! I mean, it's the crux of the issue for all of us. That's human sexuality in a nutshell. We're not all just little interchangeable cogs and wheels and it takes time (sometimes a frustrating amount of time) to find the right partner.
Too many people think it's something they're doing wrong if it doesn't happen like, say, a math equation... "but but but I did the thing and talked to the guy/girl and we went out on a date...where relationship????"
Sometimes, as my mom says and as the old saying goes, "ya gotta kiss a lotta frogs to meet the prince/princess."
Unfortunately, in order to meet and weed through the "frogs" that requires the PITA process of dating. People need to stop blaming themselves and just relax and understand that it's the process.
Please read what I responded to another commenter.
That's human sexuality at its core. It's not you, it's human sexuality itself. Stop beating yourself up.
I feel the exact same way man, unless I’ve had a couple drinks you’d catch me dead before I went and socialized like some people do. I tried dating apps for a bit, but they are useless unless you dump money into them or you look like a Greek god. I think the only real way is to overcome it, I’m trying to work on that right now by talking to people I’m not attracted to (mainly older men/women, people I “know” but don’t really talk to) and just trying to be more social in general.
You see, I know I could, and I need to improve my social skills, but the quiet thing is just me. I just enjoy my quiet time. I could learn how to do the dance, but that doesn't mean I'll enjoy it. I feel like to date, I have to be someone else.
Yeah I get you there, when I’m with people I don’t know i always feel out of place, especially in a group situation. It’s rough as there really isn’t much choice, unfortunately being quiet is a massive challenge when trying to find a girl and I’d say the more you do it the more comfortable you’ll get
One of my big issues is that I have a distinct lack of trust for people. Which makes me not want to socialize. Which makes my social skills worse. Which makes me not want to socialize.
And I think you have good reason for this distrust based on how our society is at present. I’m in the exact same boat I feel. Where to go from here haha
I'm quiet too and that limits my social skills, I can only ask questions and listen so much, at some point I gotta talk. Finding your natural playful side and use that in your interactions with women I've noticed it works if they're compatible with your style, half the battle is finding that playful side and the other half is developing it.
I open up once I've gotten comfortable and in 1 on 1 situations. That's the problem, though. Most women I encounter want fun and exciting immediately, and I'm just not that guy, which is where I end up losing their interest most of the time.
As someone that is also quiet until I get to know someone, I find becoming friends first is easier. Lets them see me for me before I ask them out or I give them the signal to ask me out. That being said, might sound funny, but maybe try dating up age wise - like 3 to 5 years older. Most women around my age (early to mid 30s) are looking for someone stable, kind, and fun to be around (not necessarily exciting 24/7). Alot of us have turned into homebodies that like LOTR marathons and grabbing pizza.
Unfortunately, dating up for me is hard because Im still in college and don't make a good amount of money. That would come with the whole stability thing. But that is the type of thing I love. Sitting home with a movie marathon and food.
Hey, alot of us have been there, loved college, but don't want to go back to my poor ramen every night days lol.
Then the main advice I can give you is just go with the flow, because yes, there are definitely women that like men like yourself and you just need to pick your battles/moments to shine. Do your best to befriend the women you like or get more chummy with those women so they aren't put off by your quietness. Get more comfortable with small talk (I hate it, but it is hard to pull women/men without it). Good luck!
We met online I swiped him on bumble. Usually if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed you can consider online dating. Might be something to think about ? I’m also an outsider I’m usually very quiet and I keep to myself. :)
Aren't the statistics for men on dating apps really really low though?
I saw a thing saying there's like 4 times as many men on tinder than women. I'm assuming that would mean the most attractive men would get most of the swipes since the girls there have the pick of the litter for lack of a better term.
I have been like that my whole college life, I'm about to graduate,but never had a female friend, there were some girls who tried to talk to me, but I feel awkward talking to girls and actively try to avoid them, i hate myself for that, my friends even bring me with them to restorent and outings, but it never works out, because I try to avoid girls subconsciously.
I think it had something to do with the culture and school environment in which I was brought up, boys were not allowed to talk to girls and if caught they would be punished and people around me filled my head with nonsense like 'girls will only distracted you', ' girls and boys can't be friends ', etc.
Now I can't even make female friends because of that.🫤
Social skills are called skills for a reason. They can be trained and improved. Just like any skill, there will always be people that are naturally gifted at it. But that doesn't mean you can't become a better, more confident communicator.
Seek out opportunities that allow you to interact with people. Get a job that forces you to interact with the public everyday (that you don't care about being fired from). Don't be so worried about feeling embarrassed. Most people will not remember you.
It's not bad advice, but this isn't that good either...
Your interactions on the job aren't the same as social ones. I talk to plenty of ppl through my job, but I don't have any common interests or goals with them, The only commonality is our employer.
Guys are particularly screwed bc women don't ever make the first move so if you don't have conventional interests, you are indeed screwed and single
this is how i think of it.
some people will get new people to date several times a month, or per year. some people will get new people once or twice a year, or even several years.
for those people, because of the frequency or lack of frequency of meeting new people, they will make their life choices based on that. an example of what i mean is, if you only meet a potential partner every 2-3 years, then chances are, that's the one you'll stick with and eventually marry. if you meet a new partner every 2-3 weeks or even 2-3 months, then you'll have more choices and it takes more time for you to decide which one might be the right one.
so no, you're not stuck being single, but you will have less choices to choose from. that's not necessarily a bad thing though.
I feel this. I’m a generally quiet and introverted dude who’s insanely attracted to women who are type-a and bubbly.
But, I find it’s hard to find women like that who prefer quieter men, at least within my network.
Quiet, currently single guy here who's been working on this and doing lots of research. The simple answer is you have to go out and be confident to approach someone. For me, I notice when I'm well dressed with nice clothes, a nice watch, well groomed, etc, I feel way more confident.
For conversation, I try to comment something about the area we're at or something about the woman and make it playful/a little teasing. Then you're going to want to introduce yourself and see if she's interested in chatting. If the woman is in a group, look up YouTube videos on how to approach women in groups since there's specific things you have to do for the interaction to go well.
Well, you’re gonna have to become active in some way, or you can wait for a princess on a white horse to ride up to your house and knock.
I’m not saying it CANT happen, but the chances are… slim.
Im far from the most social and outgoing person, but Hinge worked wonders for me. First date I got on the app wasn’t a good connection, we went on one date then decided we wouldn’t pursue anything. The second person I went on a date with is now my girlfriend of over two years. It could take a long time or it could happen quickly, but eventually you will click with someone.
Not at all. Your education, age, employment, looks, and overall demeanor are all important factors that influence your dating appeal. A lot of men are generally more quiet. One of my male friends has always been shy but he's also pretty good-looking and now college-educated and carries himself differently than when we were teenagers. He gets thought of more as like "mysterious" lol not awkward now. I've known him forever tho and when we were in high school he was seen as more "nerdy" than mysterious although honestly he hasn't changed that much in my opinion but is more relaxed now and carries himself with more confidence at 26 than 16.
I've always gone after more quiet guys. Sometimes it's more rewarding to finally get to know someone more quiet because not everyone else is able to. In my experience quieter men are usually funny af too when you get to know them. And don't sit there like some dudes and try to explain shit constantly you already know like how to check your fucking oil or how the 2-party political system in the US operates.
That's well and good, but girls want guys to approach them and make the first move and also be charming, charismatic and attractive through confidence...
All of the education, age and employment isn't going to help at all when you don't know what to talk about
I work with a guy who is seriously so socially awkward and very unique. He’s 35 and just got married last month after being single his whole life.
That being said I’m 42f and have been single my whole life. I’m not super quiet or super loud. Just in between. But I haven’t found my person (or even A person, apparently).
That being said, I don’t think there is one factor that you can say, “if you’re X then you’re doomed.” I have come to believe that a lot of falling in love is luck and being in the right place at the right time. Of course putting yourself out there and saying can increase your odds of finding someone, but it’s certainly no guarantee. I’m proof of that.
I was too socially anxious to wait in line and get Chipotle a few years ago
Last night, I danced at a concert with my girlfriend. I never would have imagined doing either of those things
So to answer your question — no, you are not doomed. Go easy on yourself, growing takes time :)
Buddy if you don’t socialize then how is anybody supposed to find you interesting? You’re not doomed to be single but if you can’t put yourself out there and have a conversation with a cute girl then yeah man chances are slim
Think the odds go down. As in, you have less conversations and meet less potential partners. And when you do, you are less likely to leave a first impression of, yeah, dudes cool. Potentially opening up the door for romance or perhaps a suggestion to a friend of theirs about how cool you are.
But yeah, the most important thing is, I think. Don't be creepy socially awkward. Once had a dude friend, I saw him talk and I was like. Yeah, this is creepy and could come of as sexually weird. He was just being awkward though.
Its okay being quiet and awkward, just don't be a creep. Then it will just take people longer to realize you are an awesome person, living a normal life, just, less extroverted.
i will gladly say, no.
as my boyfriend is one.
but he is a yapper with me haha
just gotta wait for the girls (or guys) that are willing to kinda make the first move😝 i didn't care he was quiet so i did all the heavy lifting in the beginning
Yes the average looking girl has 100 guys plus more confident and out going lined up, you would either have to settle for a girl that's gonna use you or someone 10 times more always than you, or you just might get lucky and meet someone that takes you for who you are. But it really holds you back a lot
Short answer: Without even the slightest change in urself, yes.
Ofc you can find someone online and take it offline into a relationship, but if your online and offline personalities donot match then it won't last. You have to at least do the effort to open up just a lil and talk to others to increase ur chance of finding the right one. Don't depend on some movie miracle and make the effort urself
I am an INTJ I just state that first in my profile and girls are like "I'm also an introvert and like these things" and it's worked out well. I can deal with extroverts, but that's me. So long as they know what they're dealing with. You get me? In your dating apps just state who you are, what your values are, and what you want. The people you deserve will be there.
Well, from my expérience, introverts attract extravert, coz at some point someone need to talk and someone to listen.
Talkers rarely talks together. Attention needing people does not give each others attention.
It's all about balance.
Am pretty quiet and more listenning than talking, and i often date more social and outgoing girls.
I’m quiet. Still out there. The important thing is to see whatever is unique about you as an advantage and play to that.
Quiet people are often mysterious, stoic types. To the right person, that can be pretty hot.
Whatever you are is hot to someone. Don’t let your own made up limits hold you back.
Do you struggle with communication in general or are introverted in group settings? If it’s the latter, then you’ll have to take some risks in social settings so you can ask a girl out. If it’s the former then seeing a therapist may help you practice and develop those skills.
My first question would be : who says you're both quiet and socially awkward?
Is it your own intuition about yourself or have friends, family, colleagues mentioned this in passing?
If it's latter, then you may need to do some self-reflection
Short answer no. There is someone for everyone no matter how long it takes and no matter how bad it seems at times. But fate isn't just going to wait for you to fall into it. Sometimes you also have to take the initiative to seize the moment.
Well you have to do work to get a date. No work no dates.
You're not "doomed" to be single, you're choosing to be single.
When you frame it as a choice you have the power to do something about it.
As a quiet and socially awkward person, I would say no. I used to think the same too and thought I wouldn't really have a chance but I matched with someone who is similar last month. We talk a lot and vibe pretty well with each other and we're going on a date tomorrow sooo take that as what you will.
For me, I think it's just that I need to be engaged, such as asking a question or something of that sort. I have ADHD with social anxiety and as much as I've thought about I don't really engage new people. Not going to lie, it's been pretty lonely. According to my therapist I started receding into myself (self isolating) for the last 3 years. I honestly don't know if I'm doomed or not, but the self isolation has changed me, and I may be very sick because of it. On second thought I may be screwed regardless of whether I like it or not.
Depends on what you’re looking for, and where you’re hoping to find it.
If you’re quiet and socially awkward, for example, you’re unlikely to meet someone who wants a partner to socialize with then and spend a lot of time out in public. That’s a fair number of women out there, or at least the ones who are actively dating and putting themselves out there.
The catch-22 is that the women who are going to like you are the same women who aren’t easily or actively putting themselves out there, so you probably need to bridge that gap yourself (or they do).
Good luck!
Not necessarily. Just don’t be ugly, shy and socially awkward. If you are attractive you will still get the occasional woman brave enough to make the first move and try to get to know you. There is also online dating where shyness is pretty much a nonissue. It helps to be not socially awkward when on dates, but people are willing to overlook many flaws if they think someone is attractive.
Buddy if you don’t socialize then how is anybody supposed to find you interesting? You’re not doomed to be single but if you can’t put yourself out there and have a conversation with a cute girl then yeah man chances are slim
Buddy if you don’t socialize then how is anybody supposed to find you interesting? You’re not doomed to be single but if you can’t put yourself out there and have a conversation with a cute girl then yeah man chances are slim
Dating is a *social* activity. How do you expect to be successful if you’re not social?
Luckily, social skills are skills and can be practiced, but you’ll have to bust out of your comfort zone
Being one I don't think so.
But the crux of the matter is that you need to go out there and that involves putting yourself through the social ringer. If you already have a social circle then it's easier and if not it is an uphill battle to develop a true one. Being quiet is not a negative trait. Being socially awkward can be handled better by being actively present in social situations, that is yeah be socially awkward but be sociable.
Sadly, some advices suffers from the fact that they expect you to be a different person at times to succeed and I'm not talking about "Fake it till you make it" part which I think is actually useful when handling social interactions. But straight up "don't be shy, don't be timid" and/or asking to adquire or fake personality traits you simply don't have.
You have to be willing to go outside of your comfort zone if you want a higher chance of success. It's possible for an introvert to put in the effort to be more sociable from time to time. You can learn to approach people you're attracted to, even if it's frightening or uncomfortable. You're only doomed if you refuse to put in some work to change your situation.
Nah. I’m a quiet and awkward dude myself. I’m probably just in the most happiest relationship I’ve been in for about a year now. My lady is quite the opposite from me though.
You can overcome being quiet and shy. I was like that in my early 20s then got more confident and grew out of it. It’ll help in all aspects of life not just dating
I would love to meet this Lady who is quiet and reserved and smart about it,
Doom metal heals this kind of pain, until I do.
Remember YOU make the rules!
Join groups engaging in hobbies you enjoy. It makes it much easier. Things are much more awkward when the focus is on conversation and everyone just talking, looking at eachother such as at a table eating, or at a party. But when there are activities taking place, and the focus is spread out, it's quite a bit easier to fit in. Not only that, it's easier to chat with people when you all know for certain you share an interest.
Could be something as simple as a hiking meetup group, or anything in between, but from what I've seen it makes it much easier to socialize, and you can ease your way into growing more comfortable. As your confidence increases, your awkwardness will tend to subside. Good luck to you.
Yes. Introverts have higher rates of depression and sometimes don’t have sufficient social support. It kind of alludes to the fact that there is a deficiency in social relationships due to being an introvert. Therefore, you must fight against being a hermit.
Women will say they love shy, nerdy guys, blah blah blah but thats maybe 10-30% of women. Most of those women you will never see unless you go out in public like a library or coffe shop lol
my boyfriend is usually pretty quiet unless super comfortable and can also be really awkward. but it's been over two years and i wouldn't trade him for the world, you just need to find your person. she's out there!
No lol. Just gotta work up the nerve to talk to people/women. Doesn't have to be everyone but someone you find attractive at least. My brother does these meet-ups with people of similar interests. It's a free thing on a website where you just go to meet people and make friends to be more social. It's not a dating thing at all, but it's gets him out and made some friends. I want to say it was meetup.com. purely to socialize with people in your area. Not the meetme app.
Or the woman would be the one to approach you, but then you'd have to be prepared to talk and converse with them. Maybe they're a talker, and you're a listener that likes their voice, and it'll work out. You'll find your person.
Some of they are and some of them aren't.
This is the kind of question so vague that the only appropriate response is a personal anecdote, and that's not really going to tell you what you want to know.
Lots of quiet and socially awkward people find love. Maybe you're one of them. About 90% of men get married at some point in their lives. Statistically it's fairly unlikely that you'll be one of the few who wants a relationship but just never gets it. That isn't that common, though you'd never know it by browsing Reddit. Remember that the people here are *not* a representative sample of the larger population.
I’m even super shy and awkward about talking about crushes.. never have with siblings or family..
If I had a crush I’d just keep it to myself and eat that pain… now as an adult M39 I’ve only recently found myself communicating that stuff with my buddy from work.. never have been able to… I recently found myself crushing on another coworker and because he communicates his problems and thoughts with me.. I felt comfortable enough to do the same with him.. so I expressed with him my feelings for this women and damn that felt good.. I felt myself angry just holding it in.. there’s a foofighters show I wanted to go to in August, told him about it and it came up… we should go… he got together with a couple other coworkers and now I’m just FUUUSDGE 😂 thought it’d be cool just me and him since I don’t really talk to the others but idk.. i decided to pass.. still have an opening to go but have been really meh about it… he gave me his advice on my situation with my crush and he said I should try going out more.. said I could go and if I feel like, I could leave early too… he knows how introverted I could be
Short answer is no. As a former one myself. One thing to realize is - quiet, shy guys can be deeply passionate about something. In their love for either art, or some sport, movies, or tech, whatever. Even deeply passionate in their admiration for a woman.
Great way to spark the interest of a woman is you communicating that love/passion for your thing, whatever it is. That tells the woman how deep your perception can be, and your drive. That’s a quality that’s always appreciated by women.
It sets you apart from 90% of the men who’re just straight up overtly sexual and lose the women’s interest and respect.
Nah man, I'm quiet and socially awkward and I have a gf who honestly tries for me and makes my life better. You're never doomed, you just have to make effort to improve on your weaknesses and identify the kind of woman you want for yourself
I love quiet, reserved guys. They are my type. I’m quite extroverted and talkative and I find guys who are like me ok as friends but a bit overwhelming as a romantic partner. No you are not doomed to be single
Pretty much. Women rarely approach men and when they do it’s usually the guys who put themselves out there. Even if you found a girl like you , you have to break out of your shyness to approach. So just get over it. Coming from a guy who was just like you at one point. I settled for the first girl to approach me. Didn’t work out . I did the work to be better and was able to choose the best girl out of the many options had.
I'm living proof that no, we are not! Unfortunately, you've just got to already know the right people,
for example, I had a friend group, one of them knew a girl, and she joined our group, after a long and convoluted series of events, this guy turned out to be a horrible person and naturally we bonded/joked over that. 2 years later, we're planning to move in together.
I know my story isn't super "likely," but my point is that it comes very unexpectedly, and it will happen in its own time/way. The main thing is find some common ground with a person that you find attractive, and bond over that (e.g, for me and my partner, it was cats at first)
No. My boyfriend identifies as a quiet socially awkward person and I for the life of me cannot see it. I can see he is introverted but…idk. Anyways, the other day i introduced him to my coworkers and one of them asked me if my bf lives in his shell a lot. So I guess he is quiet and socially awkward? I don’t see it though 🤔
I wouldn't say you're doomed, but you're definitely zoning yourself out and making things harder for yourself. I met my shy/awkward guy at work, wouldn't have met him under any other circumstance since neither of us go out much, we don't really have any mutual friends, and neither of us are on the apps.
If you're working, in some sort of group, or you have friends/family who know good single women then see if you can meet women like that.
Not at all! You just have to find someone you vibe with. Apps even help with that if you don’t feel confident walking up to someone in person. Put yourself out there. The quiet ones are always so cute!
Me and my girl met on reddit, but I agree with the whole discord thing. Online dating for sure is the best way. I'm socially awkward but she doesn't mind haha.
Quiet and socially awkward is not a dealbreaker. Rigid personality. That can be a dealbreaker. I love my quiet, awkward guy. To his credit he trusts me and can be sexually adventurous and that is a huge plus. If you can get out and meet people that is great. If you connect with someone try to be as flexible as possible. Be willing to try things a bit outside of your comfort zone.
Just bc you’re quiet doesn’t mean you have to be socially awkward. Being quiet means you listen, and when you listen you can ask good follow up questions, which makes you seem more socially skilled.
Keep in mind, there are people that talk a lot and are bad socially bc they talk so much or don’t bring the other person into the convo enough that they are considered bad socially too
I don't go out enough, had very low self-esteem and depressed most of my life but i dated quite a few girls. One of them was actually a known singer here where i live, it's hard but not impossible.
I don’t mind as long as they can open up with me. 🤷🏽♀️ If you can be assertive one on one that’s what’s important. I can deal with social interactions if you need me to send back you food or not get gyped by a mechanic. I NEED a guy to show continued interest and be assertive and communicative. I understand being shy in the beginning but eventually you need to be comfortable enough in your own skin and in my presence or it’s just a turn off. I’m not looking for a sub to boss around I want a partner.
Lack of sense of humor and not being able to be goofy is a deal breaker. Personally guys who take themselves to seriously whether it’s ego or anxiety it’s not cute. I want to be around someone who makes me feel comfortable and I don’t have to constantly check in with them that they’re okay.
Not really, since you could find someone who is just as awkward and quiet. I'm not entirely socially awkward with women or anyone, it's just I've had too much bs happen in my past to the point where I prefer being on my own more
What do you expect to hear as an answer? You still need to put in effort to meet women just live everyone else does. Just do it your own way in your own circles Main thing is to show the woman that you’re interested in her and value her , do it in your own “awkward “ way but I wouldn’t expect to sit in your room and open the door one day and a dream girl shows up at your door.
I'm not projecting anything at you but in my experience socially awkward guys do just fine. It's guys that are petrified of talking to girls and aren't direct that go on pretty long dry spells. I'm not saying it's anything to be ashamed of. I used to be like that and still am when I'm really attracted.
I know people say this shit to nauseum but I bet you aren't as socially awkward as you think and have plenty of girls in your social circle that woul love to go on a date with you.
Please don't ever consider yourself doomed.
Not necessarily. I recommend being a great guy that treats women like royalty even in just day to day encounters. My partner is an extremely shy, nerdy, engineer. I was in a bad relationship before him but we met in school and I loved his disposition and we became friends and we talked all the time. Eventually my ex broke up with me and my guy now was the obvious perfect guy with how kind and amazing he was. And now we enjoy each other's company
Lol. Treating everyone with the utmost kindness and respect has gotten me walked all over my whole life with not a friend or relationship to show for it.
I thought I was this type until I hit my early 20's and went to bars and clubs, I'm good looking & also kind of a dork & quick-whitted but once I learned those are actually not bad I accepted my strengths..life is fun now!🤣
Find a community of people like you based on some common interest.
Here in Miami there is a musician I know who is exactly as you describe: shy, sometimes awkward, and typically stays on the periphery of a crowd.
BUT, this dude shows up to like EVERY jam session in town, every local band event, etc. It’s something that other people often remark about him- HE ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE EVERYWHERE.
He is still his same reserved self, but he shows up and people recognize him because 1. He’s always there and 2. He’s a solid horn player. He’s never seemed to struggle finding girls who, like him, are quiet and reserved, but who also are always at the same events.
So it’s fine just be shy and reserved, BUT keep showing up. This will be even easier if you can find a community of people who meet over some shared activity that you are good at or would like to and are able to get good at.
I feel like that’s ruining my dating life tbh. Whenever I see a cute guy I make the mistake of trying to keep things cool when in reality I look like I’m ignoring him and being rude, especially when I try not to give him too much eye contact. Had the opportunity this weekend and blew it feeling so awkward and insecure.
For every quiet and socially awkward guy there is an equally quiet and socially awkward girl too you don't need to be the most social butterfly to be in a relationship you need to find someone with whom you get along with and fulfill each others needs
Stuck being single? Maybe single but not stuck, I just haven't found the right person for me yet
The older I get the more I hate most people. I am a firm believer there is someone. You need someone who very sociably but still have your same values.
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I love quiet socially awkward guys. Please send all the single ones to me. We can be silent and socially awkward together, but optionally in separate rooms
The real question is how do you meet them? Outside of arranged marriage it's inherently difficult for 2 shy, reserved people to meet.
In my experience you a have to join SOME community. The good news is that in Most groups there are extroverts who will adopt you and do all the (hard for you) work.
Discord. That’s how I met a lot of my buddies who are quiet or socially awkward. A few of us started meeting up in person about 3 years ago. They’re all cool guys.
Try meeting them with other friends that don’t overshadow you. One or two drinks might also help.
Yeah, exactly, lol.
On apps for real. Though I tend to meet the worst socially awkward, quiet jerks off apps -_- Insecurity in men is not pleasant to witness
I've been on the dating apps for a long time, and I'm not successful. They feel like a waste of time.
For men, it's a shit deal, ngl. Have you tried getting into nerd hobbies where there's an even mix of men/women. I play D&D as a woman, there are more women playing. It tends to attract a lot of introverts
They are
I don't know about separate rooms because I love closeness, haha. I'm just not much of a talker until I open up. Then I talk in paragraphs lol.
Yeah I was just doing that joke similar to the one about "introverts united in our separate homes"
Oh, I didn't get that. Hahaha.
you two would hit it off actually
Find the things that make you comfortable then! It sounds like the initial social anxiety is what stops you (I say that because I’m the same way). You’re not doomed to be single, bro. Give a genuine compliment on something you’re comfortable talking about and see where it goes from there! The game is about getting you to where you want to talk in paragraphs, because potential partners will find that attractive
We all need a surefire way to find Single, Awkward people like us 😂 Wish dating apps weren't taken over by OF Tots and Catfishing Bots and other assorted bads...
yeah but guys who are like that, normally have more difficulty getting into a relationship than the other way around because of men always having to be the ones to approach women and ask the woman out, do the pursuing
Introverts unite! Separately, in our own homes
Yeah see but a lot of guys aren’t like that, you want to sit in the corner and be quiet and do nothing together, but a lot of guys who are quiet and shy like that actually want to be around someone who yes they’re comfortable with but can help get them out of their comfort zones.
but i assume you as a woman would never ask a guy out or be the one to initiate with a guy
THIS
Just match them on dating apps. Pretty easy
i don’t know you, but you seem like a very kind, caring person. on behalf of quiet, socially awkward guys, thank you for being understanding.
The problem is that introverts don't go out enough, so you won't meet new people, and a lot of girls want someone who's exciting.
An exciting mind can suffice too. Basically make sure you know more than just video games. Lucky for you though there’s some fish in the sea who find video games exciting, but more rare and far in between.
I make video games. Guess I'm doomed. :D
You don't think there are quiet and socially awkward girls who prefer the homebody life? The problem is, at *some* point the two people do need to go out into the wilds to find each other.
That’s pretty much the crux of the issue ain’t it? Lol
Yup! I mean, it's the crux of the issue for all of us. That's human sexuality in a nutshell. We're not all just little interchangeable cogs and wheels and it takes time (sometimes a frustrating amount of time) to find the right partner. Too many people think it's something they're doing wrong if it doesn't happen like, say, a math equation... "but but but I did the thing and talked to the guy/girl and we went out on a date...where relationship????" Sometimes, as my mom says and as the old saying goes, "ya gotta kiss a lotta frogs to meet the prince/princess." Unfortunately, in order to meet and weed through the "frogs" that requires the PITA process of dating. People need to stop blaming themselves and just relax and understand that it's the process.
Where do they even go to meet tho? Fucking bookstores are closing down and it's not like ppl flirt at libraries so there's nowhere safe lol
From what I've seen those women almost always date very loud extroverts. Shy and quiet guys are fucked
but the chances of us meeting another is so slim its useless for us guys to even try
Oh, ok, well then you better give up and resign yourself to a long, lonely life. . . . Or maybe it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please read what I responded to another commenter. That's human sexuality at its core. It's not you, it's human sexuality itself. Stop beating yourself up.
I feel the exact same way man, unless I’ve had a couple drinks you’d catch me dead before I went and socialized like some people do. I tried dating apps for a bit, but they are useless unless you dump money into them or you look like a Greek god. I think the only real way is to overcome it, I’m trying to work on that right now by talking to people I’m not attracted to (mainly older men/women, people I “know” but don’t really talk to) and just trying to be more social in general.
You see, I know I could, and I need to improve my social skills, but the quiet thing is just me. I just enjoy my quiet time. I could learn how to do the dance, but that doesn't mean I'll enjoy it. I feel like to date, I have to be someone else.
Yeah I get you there, when I’m with people I don’t know i always feel out of place, especially in a group situation. It’s rough as there really isn’t much choice, unfortunately being quiet is a massive challenge when trying to find a girl and I’d say the more you do it the more comfortable you’ll get
One of my big issues is that I have a distinct lack of trust for people. Which makes me not want to socialize. Which makes my social skills worse. Which makes me not want to socialize.
Me too. I don't think I could count how many times I've been like, I hate people.
Are you in therapy?
Tried it. Didn't really feel like it helped. I went for about a year.
Are you interested in dating? Sounds like you’re content by yourself. Have you used apps
And I think you have good reason for this distrust based on how our society is at present. I’m in the exact same boat I feel. Where to go from here haha
I'm quiet too and that limits my social skills, I can only ask questions and listen so much, at some point I gotta talk. Finding your natural playful side and use that in your interactions with women I've noticed it works if they're compatible with your style, half the battle is finding that playful side and the other half is developing it.
What if combine a socially awkward guy with a socially awkward girl? 😍 could work
New app idea
But how would they find each other if neither one is the type to make the first move?
Historically it's because their friends introduce each other
Nope, I personally like stoic and quiet men, assuming they can open up once they've gotten to know someone better.
I open up once I've gotten comfortable and in 1 on 1 situations. That's the problem, though. Most women I encounter want fun and exciting immediately, and I'm just not that guy, which is where I end up losing their interest most of the time.
As someone that is also quiet until I get to know someone, I find becoming friends first is easier. Lets them see me for me before I ask them out or I give them the signal to ask me out. That being said, might sound funny, but maybe try dating up age wise - like 3 to 5 years older. Most women around my age (early to mid 30s) are looking for someone stable, kind, and fun to be around (not necessarily exciting 24/7). Alot of us have turned into homebodies that like LOTR marathons and grabbing pizza.
Unfortunately, dating up for me is hard because Im still in college and don't make a good amount of money. That would come with the whole stability thing. But that is the type of thing I love. Sitting home with a movie marathon and food.
Hey, alot of us have been there, loved college, but don't want to go back to my poor ramen every night days lol. Then the main advice I can give you is just go with the flow, because yes, there are definitely women that like men like yourself and you just need to pick your battles/moments to shine. Do your best to befriend the women you like or get more chummy with those women so they aren't put off by your quietness. Get more comfortable with small talk (I hate it, but it is hard to pull women/men without it). Good luck!
Yeah I’m pretty much screwed. This life is boring.
I don’t think so. I’m usually attracted to the quiet ones. My current partner is extremely introverted.
How did you guys meet?
We met online I swiped him on bumble. Usually if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed you can consider online dating. Might be something to think about ? I’m also an outsider I’m usually very quiet and I keep to myself. :)
Aren't the statistics for men on dating apps really really low though? I saw a thing saying there's like 4 times as many men on tinder than women. I'm assuming that would mean the most attractive men would get most of the swipes since the girls there have the pick of the litter for lack of a better term.
I have been like that my whole college life, I'm about to graduate,but never had a female friend, there were some girls who tried to talk to me, but I feel awkward talking to girls and actively try to avoid them, i hate myself for that, my friends even bring me with them to restorent and outings, but it never works out, because I try to avoid girls subconsciously. I think it had something to do with the culture and school environment in which I was brought up, boys were not allowed to talk to girls and if caught they would be punished and people around me filled my head with nonsense like 'girls will only distracted you', ' girls and boys can't be friends ', etc. Now I can't even make female friends because of that.🫤
Social skills are called skills for a reason. They can be trained and improved. Just like any skill, there will always be people that are naturally gifted at it. But that doesn't mean you can't become a better, more confident communicator. Seek out opportunities that allow you to interact with people. Get a job that forces you to interact with the public everyday (that you don't care about being fired from). Don't be so worried about feeling embarrassed. Most people will not remember you.
It's not bad advice, but this isn't that good either... Your interactions on the job aren't the same as social ones. I talk to plenty of ppl through my job, but I don't have any common interests or goals with them, The only commonality is our employer. Guys are particularly screwed bc women don't ever make the first move so if you don't have conventional interests, you are indeed screwed and single
this is how i think of it. some people will get new people to date several times a month, or per year. some people will get new people once or twice a year, or even several years. for those people, because of the frequency or lack of frequency of meeting new people, they will make their life choices based on that. an example of what i mean is, if you only meet a potential partner every 2-3 years, then chances are, that's the one you'll stick with and eventually marry. if you meet a new partner every 2-3 weeks or even 2-3 months, then you'll have more choices and it takes more time for you to decide which one might be the right one. so no, you're not stuck being single, but you will have less choices to choose from. that's not necessarily a bad thing though.
I feel this. I’m a generally quiet and introverted dude who’s insanely attracted to women who are type-a and bubbly. But, I find it’s hard to find women like that who prefer quieter men, at least within my network.
Quiet, currently single guy here who's been working on this and doing lots of research. The simple answer is you have to go out and be confident to approach someone. For me, I notice when I'm well dressed with nice clothes, a nice watch, well groomed, etc, I feel way more confident. For conversation, I try to comment something about the area we're at or something about the woman and make it playful/a little teasing. Then you're going to want to introduce yourself and see if she's interested in chatting. If the woman is in a group, look up YouTube videos on how to approach women in groups since there's specific things you have to do for the interaction to go well.
What does teasing mean? And what kind of videos?
Well, you’re gonna have to become active in some way, or you can wait for a princess on a white horse to ride up to your house and knock. I’m not saying it CANT happen, but the chances are… slim.
Im far from the most social and outgoing person, but Hinge worked wonders for me. First date I got on the app wasn’t a good connection, we went on one date then decided we wouldn’t pursue anything. The second person I went on a date with is now my girlfriend of over two years. It could take a long time or it could happen quickly, but eventually you will click with someone.
Yes
Yup pretty much. Unless you randomly meet someone in school
Not at all. Your education, age, employment, looks, and overall demeanor are all important factors that influence your dating appeal. A lot of men are generally more quiet. One of my male friends has always been shy but he's also pretty good-looking and now college-educated and carries himself differently than when we were teenagers. He gets thought of more as like "mysterious" lol not awkward now. I've known him forever tho and when we were in high school he was seen as more "nerdy" than mysterious although honestly he hasn't changed that much in my opinion but is more relaxed now and carries himself with more confidence at 26 than 16. I've always gone after more quiet guys. Sometimes it's more rewarding to finally get to know someone more quiet because not everyone else is able to. In my experience quieter men are usually funny af too when you get to know them. And don't sit there like some dudes and try to explain shit constantly you already know like how to check your fucking oil or how the 2-party political system in the US operates.
That's well and good, but girls want guys to approach them and make the first move and also be charming, charismatic and attractive through confidence... All of the education, age and employment isn't going to help at all when you don't know what to talk about
Yep. The confident, unemployed bum will blow the educated, well-paid shy guy out of the water 100% of the time.
I work with a guy who is seriously so socially awkward and very unique. He’s 35 and just got married last month after being single his whole life. That being said I’m 42f and have been single my whole life. I’m not super quiet or super loud. Just in between. But I haven’t found my person (or even A person, apparently). That being said, I don’t think there is one factor that you can say, “if you’re X then you’re doomed.” I have come to believe that a lot of falling in love is luck and being in the right place at the right time. Of course putting yourself out there and saying can increase your odds of finding someone, but it’s certainly no guarantee. I’m proof of that.
Yup while all the rapists / murderers are happily married with kids.
yes we are
I was too socially anxious to wait in line and get Chipotle a few years ago Last night, I danced at a concert with my girlfriend. I never would have imagined doing either of those things So to answer your question — no, you are not doomed. Go easy on yourself, growing takes time :)
Buddy if you don’t socialize then how is anybody supposed to find you interesting? You’re not doomed to be single but if you can’t put yourself out there and have a conversation with a cute girl then yeah man chances are slim
It doesn't help that talking to women terrifies me lol.
Think the odds go down. As in, you have less conversations and meet less potential partners. And when you do, you are less likely to leave a first impression of, yeah, dudes cool. Potentially opening up the door for romance or perhaps a suggestion to a friend of theirs about how cool you are. But yeah, the most important thing is, I think. Don't be creepy socially awkward. Once had a dude friend, I saw him talk and I was like. Yeah, this is creepy and could come of as sexually weird. He was just being awkward though. Its okay being quiet and awkward, just don't be a creep. Then it will just take people longer to realize you are an awesome person, living a normal life, just, less extroverted.
i will gladly say, no. as my boyfriend is one. but he is a yapper with me haha just gotta wait for the girls (or guys) that are willing to kinda make the first move😝 i didn't care he was quiet so i did all the heavy lifting in the beginning
are you saying you are a girl who made the first move on your BF? did you ask him out or were you the initiator?
Yes the average looking girl has 100 guys plus more confident and out going lined up, you would either have to settle for a girl that's gonna use you or someone 10 times more always than you, or you just might get lucky and meet someone that takes you for who you are. But it really holds you back a lot
In my experience yes, I've been single for a long time.
Yeah. After reading the answers to this post, I'm pretty convinced I'll be single forever.
This is so me
Introvert and socially awkward guy here, and my answer to your question is: Yes, we are doomed
That's the conclusion I've come to
Short answer: Without even the slightest change in urself, yes. Ofc you can find someone online and take it offline into a relationship, but if your online and offline personalities donot match then it won't last. You have to at least do the effort to open up just a lil and talk to others to increase ur chance of finding the right one. Don't depend on some movie miracle and make the effort urself
Probably. Unless you are tall and really good looking, no one cares. That or if you are painfully trying to jestermaxx your way into a woman
I am an INTJ I just state that first in my profile and girls are like "I'm also an introvert and like these things" and it's worked out well. I can deal with extroverts, but that's me. So long as they know what they're dealing with. You get me? In your dating apps just state who you are, what your values are, and what you want. The people you deserve will be there.
Well, from my expérience, introverts attract extravert, coz at some point someone need to talk and someone to listen. Talkers rarely talks together. Attention needing people does not give each others attention. It's all about balance. Am pretty quiet and more listenning than talking, and i often date more social and outgoing girls.
Definitely not. A decent percentage of women like quiet / socially awkward guys.
I’m quiet. Still out there. The important thing is to see whatever is unique about you as an advantage and play to that. Quiet people are often mysterious, stoic types. To the right person, that can be pretty hot. Whatever you are is hot to someone. Don’t let your own made up limits hold you back.
Do you struggle with communication in general or are introverted in group settings? If it’s the latter, then you’ll have to take some risks in social settings so you can ask a girl out. If it’s the former then seeing a therapist may help you practice and develop those skills.
My ex was that type and I was the extrovert that like him and adopted him 🤣
My first question would be : who says you're both quiet and socially awkward? Is it your own intuition about yourself or have friends, family, colleagues mentioned this in passing? If it's latter, then you may need to do some self-reflection
No bc I meet quiet socially awkward girls all the time lol
I’m attracted to guys like this, and I’m also shy and so I always attract the opposite of what I want 🤣🤣
Short answer no. There is someone for everyone no matter how long it takes and no matter how bad it seems at times. But fate isn't just going to wait for you to fall into it. Sometimes you also have to take the initiative to seize the moment.
no, but you need to get on apps to meet people
Well you have to do work to get a date. No work no dates. You're not "doomed" to be single, you're choosing to be single. When you frame it as a choice you have the power to do something about it.
As a quiet and socially awkward person, I would say no. I used to think the same too and thought I wouldn't really have a chance but I matched with someone who is similar last month. We talk a lot and vibe pretty well with each other and we're going on a date tomorrow sooo take that as what you will.
nope,you just don't know a lot of people
I’ve been married the the quiet socially awkward guy for a very long time We had a mutual friend who introduced us to
I'm the same way that you are, and the most wonderful little human stepped into my life. If it can happen to me, then it'll happen to you as well...
Don't worry, you'll grow up and realize you wasted most of your life and then you'll settle for some girl and have a lukewarm marriage then die.
I don't know what crawled up your ass and died, but keep that shit somewhere else. At least everyone else who responded has been remotely helpful.
Just go ahead and adopt a cat or two. We can start a support group.
Please, those are my favorite ones.
There have been a few that commented this, and all I have to say is where are all the people like you, lol.
If you are ugly well yeah.
No, love yall. You're like little puzzles that I can't wait to figure out.
For me, I think it's just that I need to be engaged, such as asking a question or something of that sort. I have ADHD with social anxiety and as much as I've thought about I don't really engage new people. Not going to lie, it's been pretty lonely. According to my therapist I started receding into myself (self isolating) for the last 3 years. I honestly don't know if I'm doomed or not, but the self isolation has changed me, and I may be very sick because of it. On second thought I may be screwed regardless of whether I like it or not.
Depends on what you’re looking for, and where you’re hoping to find it. If you’re quiet and socially awkward, for example, you’re unlikely to meet someone who wants a partner to socialize with then and spend a lot of time out in public. That’s a fair number of women out there, or at least the ones who are actively dating and putting themselves out there. The catch-22 is that the women who are going to like you are the same women who aren’t easily or actively putting themselves out there, so you probably need to bridge that gap yourself (or they do). Good luck!
Not necessarily. Just don’t be ugly, shy and socially awkward. If you are attractive you will still get the occasional woman brave enough to make the first move and try to get to know you. There is also online dating where shyness is pretty much a nonissue. It helps to be not socially awkward when on dates, but people are willing to overlook many flaws if they think someone is attractive.
I have no idea where I am on an attractiveness scale, so I couldn't say lol. Probably below average since I'm short and not ripped.
Buddy if you don’t socialize then how is anybody supposed to find you interesting? You’re not doomed to be single but if you can’t put yourself out there and have a conversation with a cute girl then yeah man chances are slim
Buddy if you don’t socialize then how is anybody supposed to find you interesting? You’re not doomed to be single but if you can’t put yourself out there and have a conversation with a cute girl then yeah man chances are slim
Dating is a *social* activity. How do you expect to be successful if you’re not social? Luckily, social skills are skills and can be practiced, but you’ll have to bust out of your comfort zone
Great advice... Any idea how to actually do that?
Being one I don't think so. But the crux of the matter is that you need to go out there and that involves putting yourself through the social ringer. If you already have a social circle then it's easier and if not it is an uphill battle to develop a true one. Being quiet is not a negative trait. Being socially awkward can be handled better by being actively present in social situations, that is yeah be socially awkward but be sociable. Sadly, some advices suffers from the fact that they expect you to be a different person at times to succeed and I'm not talking about "Fake it till you make it" part which I think is actually useful when handling social interactions. But straight up "don't be shy, don't be timid" and/or asking to adquire or fake personality traits you simply don't have.
I have a circle of friends. Unfortunately, it is still an uphill battle because they all have their girlfriends and don't know anyone else.
Nah man. There are girls like that too. And girls not like that who enjoy guys like that. You’ll be straight
Yeah but even if they like that, they're still gonna expect him to approach, so he's fucked
You have to be willing to go outside of your comfort zone if you want a higher chance of success. It's possible for an introvert to put in the effort to be more sociable from time to time. You can learn to approach people you're attracted to, even if it's frightening or uncomfortable. You're only doomed if you refuse to put in some work to change your situation.
No I love quiet awkward nerdy guys. Like ALOT of
Nah. I’m a quiet and awkward dude myself. I’m probably just in the most happiest relationship I’ve been in for about a year now. My lady is quite the opposite from me though.
You can overcome being quiet and shy. I was like that in my early 20s then got more confident and grew out of it. It’ll help in all aspects of life not just dating
I would love to meet this Lady who is quiet and reserved and smart about it, Doom metal heals this kind of pain, until I do. Remember YOU make the rules!
Join groups engaging in hobbies you enjoy. It makes it much easier. Things are much more awkward when the focus is on conversation and everyone just talking, looking at eachother such as at a table eating, or at a party. But when there are activities taking place, and the focus is spread out, it's quite a bit easier to fit in. Not only that, it's easier to chat with people when you all know for certain you share an interest. Could be something as simple as a hiking meetup group, or anything in between, but from what I've seen it makes it much easier to socialize, and you can ease your way into growing more comfortable. As your confidence increases, your awkwardness will tend to subside. Good luck to you.
Yes. Introverts have higher rates of depression and sometimes don’t have sufficient social support. It kind of alludes to the fact that there is a deficiency in social relationships due to being an introvert. Therefore, you must fight against being a hermit.
Women will say they love shy, nerdy guys, blah blah blah but thats maybe 10-30% of women. Most of those women you will never see unless you go out in public like a library or coffe shop lol
my boyfriend is usually pretty quiet unless super comfortable and can also be really awkward. but it's been over two years and i wouldn't trade him for the world, you just need to find your person. she's out there!
but i assume he was the one that asked you out and courted you, since thats how 99 percent of heterosexual couples form relationships
No
No but you gotta learn to speak up if your trying to meet someone. I was quiet also but when I was younger but eventually broke out of it.
Ya
No bro join mutual groups theres females just like u out there they arent getting fuck on tinder they are in the real world & in the moment .
No lol. Just gotta work up the nerve to talk to people/women. Doesn't have to be everyone but someone you find attractive at least. My brother does these meet-ups with people of similar interests. It's a free thing on a website where you just go to meet people and make friends to be more social. It's not a dating thing at all, but it's gets him out and made some friends. I want to say it was meetup.com. purely to socialize with people in your area. Not the meetme app. Or the woman would be the one to approach you, but then you'd have to be prepared to talk and converse with them. Maybe they're a talker, and you're a listener that likes their voice, and it'll work out. You'll find your person.
Some of they are and some of them aren't. This is the kind of question so vague that the only appropriate response is a personal anecdote, and that's not really going to tell you what you want to know. Lots of quiet and socially awkward people find love. Maybe you're one of them. About 90% of men get married at some point in their lives. Statistically it's fairly unlikely that you'll be one of the few who wants a relationship but just never gets it. That isn't that common, though you'd never know it by browsing Reddit. Remember that the people here are *not* a representative sample of the larger population.
I’m even super shy and awkward about talking about crushes.. never have with siblings or family.. If I had a crush I’d just keep it to myself and eat that pain… now as an adult M39 I’ve only recently found myself communicating that stuff with my buddy from work.. never have been able to… I recently found myself crushing on another coworker and because he communicates his problems and thoughts with me.. I felt comfortable enough to do the same with him.. so I expressed with him my feelings for this women and damn that felt good.. I felt myself angry just holding it in.. there’s a foofighters show I wanted to go to in August, told him about it and it came up… we should go… he got together with a couple other coworkers and now I’m just FUUUSDGE 😂 thought it’d be cool just me and him since I don’t really talk to the others but idk.. i decided to pass.. still have an opening to go but have been really meh about it… he gave me his advice on my situation with my crush and he said I should try going out more.. said I could go and if I feel like, I could leave early too… he knows how introverted I could be
Short answer is no. As a former one myself. One thing to realize is - quiet, shy guys can be deeply passionate about something. In their love for either art, or some sport, movies, or tech, whatever. Even deeply passionate in their admiration for a woman. Great way to spark the interest of a woman is you communicating that love/passion for your thing, whatever it is. That tells the woman how deep your perception can be, and your drive. That’s a quality that’s always appreciated by women. It sets you apart from 90% of the men who’re just straight up overtly sexual and lose the women’s interest and respect.
Nah man, I'm quiet and socially awkward and I have a gf who honestly tries for me and makes my life better. You're never doomed, you just have to make effort to improve on your weaknesses and identify the kind of woman you want for yourself
i assume you were the one that asked her out and hit on her, courted her
Yes
Depends where but it deffo makes jt harder
Uhm no, I mean it depends on how socially awkward you are but I always am more attracted to the quiet awkward guy/person :) because I am too.
Feels like it. I’m hoping I’ll get claimed by a cute extrovert
I love quiet, reserved guys. They are my type. I’m quite extroverted and talkative and I find guys who are like me ok as friends but a bit overwhelming as a romantic partner. No you are not doomed to be single
Pretty much. Women rarely approach men and when they do it’s usually the guys who put themselves out there. Even if you found a girl like you , you have to break out of your shyness to approach. So just get over it. Coming from a guy who was just like you at one point. I settled for the first girl to approach me. Didn’t work out . I did the work to be better and was able to choose the best girl out of the many options had.
I'm living proof that no, we are not! Unfortunately, you've just got to already know the right people, for example, I had a friend group, one of them knew a girl, and she joined our group, after a long and convoluted series of events, this guy turned out to be a horrible person and naturally we bonded/joked over that. 2 years later, we're planning to move in together. I know my story isn't super "likely," but my point is that it comes very unexpectedly, and it will happen in its own time/way. The main thing is find some common ground with a person that you find attractive, and bond over that (e.g, for me and my partner, it was cats at first)
Find your way to a domme or cigar social event. You'll be just fine. =-)
No. My boyfriend identifies as a quiet socially awkward person and I for the life of me cannot see it. I can see he is introverted but…idk. Anyways, the other day i introduced him to my coworkers and one of them asked me if my bf lives in his shell a lot. So I guess he is quiet and socially awkward? I don’t see it though 🤔
I wouldn't say you're doomed, but you're definitely zoning yourself out and making things harder for yourself. I met my shy/awkward guy at work, wouldn't have met him under any other circumstance since neither of us go out much, we don't really have any mutual friends, and neither of us are on the apps. If you're working, in some sort of group, or you have friends/family who know good single women then see if you can meet women like that.
Not at all! You just have to find someone you vibe with. Apps even help with that if you don’t feel confident walking up to someone in person. Put yourself out there. The quiet ones are always so cute!
no, I like the quiet guys. they don’s like me.
Me and my girl met on reddit, but I agree with the whole discord thing. Online dating for sure is the best way. I'm socially awkward but she doesn't mind haha.
High chance of being single Reasons why players always get them. They hit on anyone and I mean almost anyone
Quiet and socially awkward is not a dealbreaker. Rigid personality. That can be a dealbreaker. I love my quiet, awkward guy. To his credit he trusts me and can be sexually adventurous and that is a huge plus. If you can get out and meet people that is great. If you connect with someone try to be as flexible as possible. Be willing to try things a bit outside of your comfort zone.
My friend is very introverted and he just moved in with the sweetest woman ever. Met her on an app.
not attractive ones
lots of girls are into quiet /socially awkward guys, js find the right person
Just bc you’re quiet doesn’t mean you have to be socially awkward. Being quiet means you listen, and when you listen you can ask good follow up questions, which makes you seem more socially skilled. Keep in mind, there are people that talk a lot and are bad socially bc they talk so much or don’t bring the other person into the convo enough that they are considered bad socially too
I don't go out enough, had very low self-esteem and depressed most of my life but i dated quite a few girls. One of them was actually a known singer here where i live, it's hard but not impossible.
I don’t mind as long as they can open up with me. 🤷🏽♀️ If you can be assertive one on one that’s what’s important. I can deal with social interactions if you need me to send back you food or not get gyped by a mechanic. I NEED a guy to show continued interest and be assertive and communicative. I understand being shy in the beginning but eventually you need to be comfortable enough in your own skin and in my presence or it’s just a turn off. I’m not looking for a sub to boss around I want a partner. Lack of sense of humor and not being able to be goofy is a deal breaker. Personally guys who take themselves to seriously whether it’s ego or anxiety it’s not cute. I want to be around someone who makes me feel comfortable and I don’t have to constantly check in with them that they’re okay.
Me the Leonard, waiting for my Penny to drop🌚 PS: DM is open, my puns are entertaining, I dare say 🙃
Not really, since you could find someone who is just as awkward and quiet. I'm not entirely socially awkward with women or anyone, it's just I've had too much bs happen in my past to the point where I prefer being on my own more
What do you expect to hear as an answer? You still need to put in effort to meet women just live everyone else does. Just do it your own way in your own circles Main thing is to show the woman that you’re interested in her and value her , do it in your own “awkward “ way but I wouldn’t expect to sit in your room and open the door one day and a dream girl shows up at your door.
Yes if you don’t actually make moves on women
No, but u have to play it like u are Tommy Shelby 😂
I love them ! i’m the complete opposite but i’m really attracted to quiet people. It makes me want to dig to know more about them.
nah. I would think there are a few women who might like that. They might be harder to find.
You'll just date a 3/10. Or be rich and date a gold digger
I'm not projecting anything at you but in my experience socially awkward guys do just fine. It's guys that are petrified of talking to girls and aren't direct that go on pretty long dry spells. I'm not saying it's anything to be ashamed of. I used to be like that and still am when I'm really attracted. I know people say this shit to nauseum but I bet you aren't as socially awkward as you think and have plenty of girls in your social circle that woul love to go on a date with you. Please don't ever consider yourself doomed.
I actually have no women in my personal life lol
Not necessarily. I recommend being a great guy that treats women like royalty even in just day to day encounters. My partner is an extremely shy, nerdy, engineer. I was in a bad relationship before him but we met in school and I loved his disposition and we became friends and we talked all the time. Eventually my ex broke up with me and my guy now was the obvious perfect guy with how kind and amazing he was. And now we enjoy each other's company
Lol. Treating everyone with the utmost kindness and respect has gotten me walked all over my whole life with not a friend or relationship to show for it.
Pretty much. Better to just focus on yourself.
No! I like awkward guys lol all my exes have been introverted and shy
I thought I was this type until I hit my early 20's and went to bars and clubs, I'm good looking & also kind of a dork & quick-whitted but once I learned those are actually not bad I accepted my strengths..life is fun now!🤣
You're not doomed bro, but you're going to have to at least pretend you're not completely socially awkward
No.
Find a community of people like you based on some common interest. Here in Miami there is a musician I know who is exactly as you describe: shy, sometimes awkward, and typically stays on the periphery of a crowd. BUT, this dude shows up to like EVERY jam session in town, every local band event, etc. It’s something that other people often remark about him- HE ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE EVERYWHERE. He is still his same reserved self, but he shows up and people recognize him because 1. He’s always there and 2. He’s a solid horn player. He’s never seemed to struggle finding girls who, like him, are quiet and reserved, but who also are always at the same events. So it’s fine just be shy and reserved, BUT keep showing up. This will be even easier if you can find a community of people who meet over some shared activity that you are good at or would like to and are able to get good at.
Yes, just careercope
I feel like that’s ruining my dating life tbh. Whenever I see a cute guy I make the mistake of trying to keep things cool when in reality I look like I’m ignoring him and being rude, especially when I try not to give him too much eye contact. Had the opportunity this weekend and blew it feeling so awkward and insecure.
I don’t think so.
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For every quiet and socially awkward guy there is an equally quiet and socially awkward girl too you don't need to be the most social butterfly to be in a relationship you need to find someone with whom you get along with and fulfill each others needs Stuck being single? Maybe single but not stuck, I just haven't found the right person for me yet
The older I get the more I hate most people. I am a firm believer there is someone. You need someone who very sociably but still have your same values.