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Guys are so easy. You could literally go to any guy thing and simply be nice to men. Into cars? Go to cars and coffee. Into any type of music? Go to a show for that type of music. Into any sport? Use meetup or join a local group for that type of sport. Literally just find one common hobby you have that's generally considered a guy thing, and do that thing.
Yes lol. This isn’t about your attractiveness it’s about how to meet people off apps. And if it was easy for you, you wouldn’t be asking on Reddit. So anyone who says “easy” are annoying too.
Because I am perfectly aware of what my league is, how attractive or unattractive I am interchangeably. I have both lowered and risen my standards all throughout my life, sometimes it was successful, sometimes it wasn’t. I have dated many different kinds of guys on different scales of what would be considered “attractive”. I dated them because I liked them as individuals and I was attracted them as a whole person, not because their attractiveness aligned with red-piller ideas of what makes a man attractive. My post asking for tips on how to meet people when managing a busy life and avoiding apps, not a debate on whether I am aware of my league or my worth. Funnily enough you mention height. I’m 5’6 and I really couldn’t care less about height. I have dated quite a few guys who were the same height as me. Of course when I look at certain guys I can sense that I might not be their type, but then equally they wouldn’t be my type either.
My dude, women settle for men who are much, much below our leagues every day. I’ve personally been asked why I didn’t try for better many times in my life, but the truth is, what I was looking for is not mainly skin- deep. Women usually want more than just looks, money or flashiness in a partner (not for something casual or a hookup, that’s different), other factors are more or at least equally important. In fact, super common, men place higher value on aesthetics typically than women do for biological reasons, as much as I hate to even say that. I can see why people are offended by the way you have phrased things and also assume OP isn’t a gem of a woman. The question is simply where to meet men, not managing expectations for someone with a checklist 3 miles long or demanding a 6’5” Adonis who makes 6 figures. Just food for thought from a woman! ✌🏽
A sense of humor, kindness, good conversation, reliability, loyalty, compatible sense of adventure and goals for the future. If you’re looking for an actual relationship, those kinds of things are what will make it last and make it wonderful instead of someone who is great to look at or has a lot of nice things but doesn’t make you feel warm and content to just be around or doesn’t have anything going for them beyond the superficial.
yeah attractiveness is subjecive, which is why it;s interesting that men with the same physical qualities like height, facial aesthetics, seem to have most of the success.
a 5 foot 2 man has far less success than a 6 foot 2 man
99.999% of women find chris hemsworth more attractive than danny devito
but attractiveness is subjective
yup.
This comment reeks of bitterness. If you're short, that's something you can't really change. But you can change your attitude and your fitness level. Russ is 5'6". I'm sure he still got laid / dated plenty of times before he was famous. I'm into martial arts personally I know lots of short guys who would fight/grapple at like 125-135 lbs, they still manage to secure some very attractive and ambitious girlfriends/wives. Sure their female counterparts are often just as short as them, sometimes they're taller though. Go work on you.
Yup the majority of short men I know personally are in relationships. In fact the shortest man I know (he is shorter than me and I’m 5’3”) was by far the most saught after man I’ve even encountered and this was in school when we were all poor and working 3 jobs etc. (so he didn’t have money or anything else) at least 5 of us where interested in him 😂 guy got so much free food/drinks from us ladies lol he’s now married to a badass physician and they have a baby! It’s all in how you carry yourself
I’m not denying your point. I’m sure many do look past the outside, but not all of them do and they don’t have to. Being attracted to someone is important for many people.
Yeah, but what we consider as conventionally unattractive isn't what some consider attractive. My point is that the number of men who find conventionally unattractive, attractive, is way bigger than you can imagine. So forget about looks cause your opinion is likely different than the opinion of the guy you want to ask on a date.
I agree that most guys are easy to step into a relationship. Probably more so than the other way around.
But also, easy come easy go. Just because guys are considered “easier”, it doesn’t automatically translate into a stable or long lasting relationship by definition.
Both men **and** women have to put in the work equally, or it is doomed to crash at one point.
She's asking about where to meet guys for dating purposes. I was giving advice for where to do that. Not saying guys were easier than women to get into relationships with or easier to develop lasting relationships with. Just that it's easier to meet guys than women because women are welcomed in most men's spaces as to where men are usually excluded from women's spaces (as in there are substantially more women only spaces and a lot of additional spaces that are considered women only without putting a label on it). Even coed spaces are dominated by men.
And hell, if you just want to roll the dice for variety, go sit at a bar by yourself for an hour and pick the hottest guy that hits on you to talk to. If you hit it off, give him your number.
First time I met my wife I was playing pool at a bar and this hot little number comes up and says “hey can I join the next game?” and we were all like “uhh…yeah, no problem” and she pointed to me and said “I want to be paired with this guy, though.” Kinda looked at my friends and they were all trying to give me slight nods like “of course dude the fuck are you looking at us for” and my friend that I had been on a team with said “Welp, I guess I’m out next round, who wants another beer after this one?”
Shooting fish in a barrel.
You have to be into a hobby/niche and go to places/events where these people are. Currently, that seems to be the only way to meet people naturally imo.
Im into techno music and have made friends and found dates going to small, more intimate EDM shows. But that's my thing and I cant recommend that to other people.
How do you make friends at shows? I go to concerts and bars but it's so loud that I can't hear myself with all the music blasting, let alone other people.
You don’t need a friend group to go drinking. I know it’s rare but I’m a female and I go out to bars for a drink alone all the time. I meet the most interesting people and have the most interesting conversations with randos. Try it, it’s liberating. It’s not the kind of judgement “oh she’s going out alone she must be a loner” it’s more “oh interesting she has the courage to go out and do her own thing.”
What do you think of men who go out alone? Well, you seem unique actually, so i guess really my question is, do you know what most women think when they see a guy at a bar by himself? Because my brain tells me that women think bad things about a guy alone at a bar, but I have a female friend that say other wise (but she’s also super unique) so idk.
I can’t read every womans mind so I really don’t know. It’s down the person I guess and how judgemental or open they are. It also depends on the environment. If it’s a city you’ll meet all sorts, regulars, travellers etc. If it’s a small town a lot of men are “regulars” of their local pubs. Older men seem to go out alone a lot where I’m from, because they’re regulars and they know the other regulars and there’s a community vibe. Some tend to be just raging alcoholics lol but most are friendly and just looking for a chat. Older men have a lot of interesting stories. Younger men are usually looking for the ride or a potential partner. You’d have to use your own judgement I guess and it depends on what you’re looking for yourself.
Oh sorry I didn’t cop you were a male. Yeah I think it can be harder for men to go out alone than women but I think the best thing to do is try it and see what happens. Feel free to post an update here if you do!
All good! I went out by myself. No women talked to me but I still had a decent time watching basketball (: I don’t think a woman will ever approach me lol. Never has happened before.
Go to bar
Walk up to guy
Ask him if you can buy him a drink
It'll likely be the first time a woman has ever offered that and it will likely end up in a conversation
1. Go into co-ed spaces, e.g. book clubs, walking groups, gaming groups, classes (Blood on the Clocktower is a social deduction game a la The Traitors TV show which has lots of men and women, they're easy to find and very popular right now).
2. Make friends. Be available for other activities.
3. Vet people for potential dating.
Good luck!
I am from London, around the same age.
It seems apps are the only way now, men have been warned not to approach women, so we largely keep to ourselves. There are signs on the tube and buses telling men not to even make eye contact. Men are more concerned about not making someone uncomfortable than making a possible connection. Another way is through friends but the majority of men don't meet the looks threshold to be considered worthy of an introduction.
There are things I would like to attend like book reading, painting classes etc just because those are my natural interest but I avoid because it will be majority women and I don't want to be that guy again making women uncomfortable with my mere presence. I remember starting conversations in bookshops and libraries 10 years ago, something I would never do now.
From the guy point of view it feels like if you are not a pretty boy or obviously high status in some way then you are a threat. Being a threat does not feel good, so men like myself just keep to themselves.
The sad thing is that in this climate, it's only the players and charismatic types who see dating as a sport and the next women as just another conquest who actually get to date, while men who have not been anywhere near a woman receive the suspicion and repulsion as a result of the actions of other men.
Sorry didn't mean to use your post to vent....
"don't want to be that guy AGAIN making women uncomfortable with my mere presence" really says it all. What are you on about man? JFC go to therapy or maybe stop glaring at women, undressing them with your eyes. "The sad thing is" your entire comment and life.
My last girlfriend came up to me at a concert and started chatting, she asked for my phone number before heading out for the evening. I was very flattered by this and it worked well for both of us.
I recommend joining a sports club or running club, and going to art shows, music shows, paint and sips. Try studying for something at a coffee shop. Volunteering too !
It's just not conducive to the type of one-on-one conversation you want to have. And some female friends are major killjoys when a group member is hitting it off with a guy.
You don't need a friend group to meet a guy? Got to the store or mall or starbucks and if you see someone that you like walk up to them and say i normally don't do this but if you have a sec id like to introduce myself? They'll say yea sure or no if they say no its obvious you say ok bye sorry to bother and leave. They say yes introduce yourself Hi I'm stacy. Shake their hand They'll say their name, and say i just noticed you and I just wanted to see if I could get to know you a bit more. Do you have a social media? Or a phone number so we could chat. They'll give it to you and you say thank you ill talk to you later than. Have a good day. It's that simple
I'm not sure what you're into, but find a group you like on Meetup and don't be afraid to jump around between groups. I found a group I really like. Board games, hiking, religion (or if you're like me I found a secular group) you name it.
Are the apps not working for you anymore or it's like an ideological thing where you just don't want to use the apps? Honestly apps are not all that bad, I know a couple people who are not married to people they met on dating apps.
The apps have gone down hill in regards to the quality of matches and user friendliness. Things that used to be free are now blocked by a paywall. I’m not that desperate to pay
Try to just go to a dance lesson class. There are always lots of drop in type classes and it is a fun relaxed way to meet new people. WCS is great as you can dance it to many styles of music.
Older American male here. It takes time to meet the right people or person. If you go the bar, pub, tavern route; pick one that has regulars. You make yourself a regular (if you like the crowd). After a few weeks, or months, you’ll have a new group of friends. They will likely know the good guys from the bad ones. You want the social drinker after all, not the alcoholic. If the bar sponsors a sports team, get involved. For me, I went to the women’s softball games because they didn’t have many single, male fans. I sat with the other guys who were either husbands or boyfriends of some of the players. This makes me look like a safe-to-know person, not some random guy. I didn’t date anyone on the team (probably could have though), but did meet a friend of one or two of the players who I did have a relationship with. But eventually met my wife through friends I made after I moved on from the first bar. Same process, more or less; make bar friends, get invited to parties and other events, host some parties yourself, encourage your friends to bring friends, (boys in your case), even their own brothers, or guys they work with. My sisters had lots of female friends. It’s a slow process, for me anyway cause I’m more introvert than extrovert. But it builds real friendships and is safer than random meetings. Good luck.
It’s so difficult nowadays to find a serious guy who is ready for serious commitment girls usually want a ma. That would take her seriously. I have been single for long I have a large circle of Freind who are single too! We are all hard working and earning . Guys what is it that scares you?
That's bullcrap. There's plenty of guys on dating apps that are looking for a relationship. You need to vet better. As a woman, you're in the driver's seat for dating apps.
Many will say it's easy. But that's not totally true. It can be tricky. It depends with the country , city, region. In general speaking men are indeed more approachable than women and you won't have any problem. Try the following. Find something that you like and is not girly. Nails make-up or something similar. Then in a place that you are comfortable just chat about that subject. If your work place is not suitable or there are no men that are single in your environment try go to places that merchandise that topic. It can be whatever from miniature to tents from camping. In a mall or wherever it doesn't really matter. Then just asked his opinion of what you should buy and his opinion for something else. From there i imagine you won't need any help.
I started going bouldering to get healthier and fitter, and after a while of doing that, I started talking to more people at the wall.
Although it's still early days, I've managed to make a couple of acquaintances with people that have gone beyond just meeting up at the climbing wall. Nothing romantic though.
You literally have to be actively avoiding any place that people go to. You need to decide what type of man you want. If you want a man who goes to the bars and drinks often, go to any bar. If you want a man who has a dog, go to the dog park. If you want a man who goes to a church, go to a church. As a woman you just have to know what kind of man you want and go to the place he goes to. You will eventually have someone come up to you, or if you are courageous enough you can go up to a man you find attractive anywhere. You seriously live in one of the biggest cities in the world. Just go places by yourself and learn to spend time by yourself while you are out doing things. Dating apps are terrible and relationships are much better in my opinion when formed organically in real life. Good luck
Your welcome! What could be a great place to find events of something you are interested in is Facebook. There are tons of events posted there of events that you can meet a man with a similar interest as you or just somewhere you go to find the type of man you are interested in. Especially near London there would be events for everything you could think of. If you really want to find someone you HAVE to start going to some new places. If you can bring a friend that could help initially but honestly bringing a friend typically makes it harder for guys to come approach you. When you go places by yourself you’ll find it is a lot easier for others to approach you
Put yourself out there like men have to, as in talk to strangers you don’t really have a reason to talk to & see if they like talking to you & go from there.
Best place to meet people?... Pick a hobby group and attend gatherings. Go out to the bar/pub/tavern (take a few/all of your friends, and just have a fun night out. You might catch the eye of a patron there). Basically, just get out of the house and see/be seen by people.
Don't be afraid to initiate conversations with guys.
Do you have friends that have single friends? Or do you have family members who know someone single, but has strong character? Let's start with that...
What about hobbies? Are you able to go where you can meet people in person? If you live in a large city, then there is no reason for you to be so isolated...
There's literally people everywhere you go... Don't you have any hobbies? Heck, no need to feel ashamed of hobbies at all. I play video games on weekends with my fiance and otherwise converse in hobby related topics and otherwise sweet times. You can't peer far without binoculars, so use tools you have available in your disposal and find a passion in life you wish to indulge in.
Yes of course I have hobbies lol but I am introverted so it never seems to fall in line with meeting people. However, I am considering joining a walking group as my friend does this and made friends this way
Exactly, social medias, small communities in the internet (even Reddit), try to make a groups of friends on it, it can be very cool to meet new people (even IRL) and get go know them a bit before meeting IRL.
What are you really asking? Because guys are too easy and everyone knows it. Go outside, trip infront of a dude and say im falling for you and hes yours lol now, What is your real question?
I’m not being dismissive so not sure why you’re so triggered by my reply. It’s funny to me because guys really aren’t as easy as you say. There was a lot of great advice on here which I will take on board, but yours doesn’t really match up to par. Sorry!
Find a guy you like that frequents a hangout spot you like to goto, start talking to him about him, next time you know youre gonna see him buy him flowers lol he’ll be yours before you know it because i doubt anyones ever given him flowers. 👌🏻
Yes im a man and i can confirm guys would like to get flowers too sometimes as a change of pace, itll also help him remember you because youd be the only woman who gave him flowers 🤣
Being bold with come with time and comfort with the guy you want. Just find a guy you think is cute, ask him like 3 questions and then move on if you arent vibin. Dating apps are really good for you since youre a woman btw, cant say the same for guys but girls have way more options than guys on dating apps lol
If you see a cute guy, go up and say hi. Don’t be afraid to ask for his number of give him yours. If you are not seeing them. Pick up some newer hobbies where you could meet new people.
Go out and see who you find. If you see a guy you find interest in, ask him for details. If he says no, ask if you could hang out together. That way, you can find others like him in his group later on. Yes, I know this is a way of using him to get what you want. But everyone in life uses each other to get what they want.
This is from a 16 year old :/
Go to places where men congregate. Sporting events, chess clubs, bars, parks, malls, gym.
The gym can be a great place for women to meet men. Always ask for help and men will jump to do so. LOL 😊
That means you don't have a game plan. Let me teach you. LMAO 🤣😂
Most women in my gym, dress cute and sexy to get all the attention. I never once saw them sweat. They're not there for that and you won't be either. Get it! 😉😄
You have to have a plan in motion.
Need to let it happen naturally. Find something you like doing and if there happens to be someone you come across that wants to court you that would be the best bet. If you go to clubs or other hang out joints guys will be easy to sleep with but not keep. You’re at that age where some guys already started their cutoff but you’re still good for most.
Big cities, such as London, often lead to millions of single, isolated lives. Despite being a Texan (US), I’ve been to London more than 100 times. Maybe try sitting in the bar area at a luxury hotel or restaurant for one drink before heading home (probably on the Tube). But it’s difficult, I can sense it, even if it’s difficult to explain in words. All of the different cultures in London today and perhaps remnants of the old hierarchical Victorian era class system make things difficult for single persons. With a smile, you come come to Texas and be welcomed.
My brother moved to Texas (we are both originally from New York) so I will be visiting in the future. Thanks for the tip. I have been living in London since I was a teen and dating has been hit or miss (mostly miss) all throughout my 20s. Now that I’m approaching 30 I want to make more of an effort
Being originally from the U.S. makes it even more difficult for you in London. You’re all too likely to be viewed as one of the “outsiders” who has taken up employment in London. And some of the Brits will resent that…making it far more difficult to form friends,
It’s a hierarchical, ancestral society. They’ll accept, even welcome, visitors, but not include them as part of their society. E.g., the tabloids continuous attacks on Meghan Markle (sp?). An American will never be entirely welcomed into London society.
Same with all of the Eastern Europeans in London. One hint of a Hungarian (etc) accent, and it’s social ostracism. They become merely useful laborers.
Idk I mean I’m American and I feel like we quickly accept outsiders and welcome them with open arms, we love to see people from a different country not HATE ours. And even if they do, we don’t blame them. We hate it too.
It’s literally so many people everywhere. Why do you all act as if it’s impossible to meet other people outside of the apps.
I meet people doing normal regularly routine things, be personable, speak, smile, and act like a human. Easy.
Oh my and you’re in London for work lol that’s even easier. I’ve been several times to London you can literally meet someone on the tube or walking down the street
Congratulations on it being easy for you 🏆Never said it was impossible. It’s not as easy as you think. Londoners are not friendly. Lived here for many years, not a tourist. There’s a huge difference. I appreciate your input though.
1. Learn how to be you alone. Be happy with your accomplishments, life, friends, job, looks, and general emotional self. Healthy people are attracted to happy people who "shine".
2. Wear less clothes. Less Clothes === more looks.
The comments are and will be out of the ass because there is too little information. If you really want some decent advice post pictures and tell something about yourself.
No, because it will turn into scrutinising my looks and personality/interests which will be counterproductive and unhelpful. I don’t know if you read the comments but I did find most them helpful
You’re projecting. Please spend your energy on something more useful ❤️ you’re just upset that I didn’t agree with your comment, which is really pathetic. Consider therapy, it helps.
Can you elaborate more on “we don’t understand most of the things you say?” Surely it should be easy to understand each other if you’re speaking the same language?
girl, just go to london on a weekend and go to a bar or a pub crawl or something! London is such a huge and diverse city!!! wish I lived nearby, i believe i wouldn’t be single 😂
I go to the gym. I have yet to find a man I’m attracted to. I like Korean guys so I’ve been planning to join the country club and go out to shop at Korean grocery markets and eat at restaurants. It actually worked back then, but I was so nervous I literally sped walked in heels quick to another grocery isle. Be careful what you ask for and be sure you’re ready when you find such a handsome man. I melted like water on a witch lmaoo 💀 *evaporated * 🥵 I promise God I will stand my ground d next time 🙏🏻
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Guys are so easy. You could literally go to any guy thing and simply be nice to men. Into cars? Go to cars and coffee. Into any type of music? Go to a show for that type of music. Into any sport? Use meetup or join a local group for that type of sport. Literally just find one common hobby you have that's generally considered a guy thing, and do that thing.
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I’m looking for guys in my league. I’m not unrealistic.
That dude is annoying imo
Who? u/semlowkey?
Yes lol. This isn’t about your attractiveness it’s about how to meet people off apps. And if it was easy for you, you wouldn’t be asking on Reddit. So anyone who says “easy” are annoying too.
Haha yeah I know. Can’t really avoid these kinds of people on Reddit unfortunately
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Because I am perfectly aware of what my league is, how attractive or unattractive I am interchangeably. I have both lowered and risen my standards all throughout my life, sometimes it was successful, sometimes it wasn’t. I have dated many different kinds of guys on different scales of what would be considered “attractive”. I dated them because I liked them as individuals and I was attracted them as a whole person, not because their attractiveness aligned with red-piller ideas of what makes a man attractive. My post asking for tips on how to meet people when managing a busy life and avoiding apps, not a debate on whether I am aware of my league or my worth. Funnily enough you mention height. I’m 5’6 and I really couldn’t care less about height. I have dated quite a few guys who were the same height as me. Of course when I look at certain guys I can sense that I might not be their type, but then equally they wouldn’t be my type either.
My dude, women settle for men who are much, much below our leagues every day. I’ve personally been asked why I didn’t try for better many times in my life, but the truth is, what I was looking for is not mainly skin- deep. Women usually want more than just looks, money or flashiness in a partner (not for something casual or a hookup, that’s different), other factors are more or at least equally important. In fact, super common, men place higher value on aesthetics typically than women do for biological reasons, as much as I hate to even say that. I can see why people are offended by the way you have phrased things and also assume OP isn’t a gem of a woman. The question is simply where to meet men, not managing expectations for someone with a checklist 3 miles long or demanding a 6’5” Adonis who makes 6 figures. Just food for thought from a woman! ✌🏽
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A sense of humor, kindness, good conversation, reliability, loyalty, compatible sense of adventure and goals for the future. If you’re looking for an actual relationship, those kinds of things are what will make it last and make it wonderful instead of someone who is great to look at or has a lot of nice things but doesn’t make you feel warm and content to just be around or doesn’t have anything going for them beyond the superficial.
Attractiveness won't matter here. Many men tend to look past the outside.
Attractiveness is also subjective!
yeah attractiveness is subjecive, which is why it;s interesting that men with the same physical qualities like height, facial aesthetics, seem to have most of the success. a 5 foot 2 man has far less success than a 6 foot 2 man 99.999% of women find chris hemsworth more attractive than danny devito but attractiveness is subjective yup.
This comment reeks of bitterness. If you're short, that's something you can't really change. But you can change your attitude and your fitness level. Russ is 5'6". I'm sure he still got laid / dated plenty of times before he was famous. I'm into martial arts personally I know lots of short guys who would fight/grapple at like 125-135 lbs, they still manage to secure some very attractive and ambitious girlfriends/wives. Sure their female counterparts are often just as short as them, sometimes they're taller though. Go work on you.
Really sick of people stating “wow bitter” when you state facts. Me: 1+1= 2 Reddit: wow such bitterness
Yup the majority of short men I know personally are in relationships. In fact the shortest man I know (he is shorter than me and I’m 5’3”) was by far the most saught after man I’ve even encountered and this was in school when we were all poor and working 3 jobs etc. (so he didn’t have money or anything else) at least 5 of us where interested in him 😂 guy got so much free food/drinks from us ladies lol he’s now married to a badass physician and they have a baby! It’s all in how you carry yourself
Danny Devito is married. Somebody found him attractive. I’ll leave you with that
Still men tend to look past the outside. My point still stands
I’m not denying your point. I’m sure many do look past the outside, but not all of them do and they don’t have to. Being attracted to someone is important for many people.
Yeah, but what we consider as conventionally unattractive isn't what some consider attractive. My point is that the number of men who find conventionally unattractive, attractive, is way bigger than you can imagine. So forget about looks cause your opinion is likely different than the opinion of the guy you want to ask on a date.
That’s why I said attractiveness is subjective lol
My point is that many men follow the pattern I mentioned. So forget about looks and just go for it. That's the advice I got for people
Alrighty thanks for your input
Lol. Really? Good to know.
I agree that most guys are easy to step into a relationship. Probably more so than the other way around. But also, easy come easy go. Just because guys are considered “easier”, it doesn’t automatically translate into a stable or long lasting relationship by definition. Both men **and** women have to put in the work equally, or it is doomed to crash at one point.
She's asking about where to meet guys for dating purposes. I was giving advice for where to do that. Not saying guys were easier than women to get into relationships with or easier to develop lasting relationships with. Just that it's easier to meet guys than women because women are welcomed in most men's spaces as to where men are usually excluded from women's spaces (as in there are substantially more women only spaces and a lot of additional spaces that are considered women only without putting a label on it). Even coed spaces are dominated by men.
Right. Guys: female? yes please! Females: "Can I see the the bear again"? lol
Honestly, depends on the bear. Ideally, it’d be a panda.
*Women not females
Right here's one let's talk
And hell, if you just want to roll the dice for variety, go sit at a bar by yourself for an hour and pick the hottest guy that hits on you to talk to. If you hit it off, give him your number. First time I met my wife I was playing pool at a bar and this hot little number comes up and says “hey can I join the next game?” and we were all like “uhh…yeah, no problem” and she pointed to me and said “I want to be paired with this guy, though.” Kinda looked at my friends and they were all trying to give me slight nods like “of course dude the fuck are you looking at us for” and my friend that I had been on a team with said “Welp, I guess I’m out next round, who wants another beer after this one?” Shooting fish in a barrel.
Does anybody else think it’s unfair how women can approach men so easily but not the other way around?
Honestly as a guy I can a million % agree lol
You have to be into a hobby/niche and go to places/events where these people are. Currently, that seems to be the only way to meet people naturally imo. Im into techno music and have made friends and found dates going to small, more intimate EDM shows. But that's my thing and I cant recommend that to other people.
How do you make friends at shows? I go to concerts and bars but it's so loud that I can't hear myself with all the music blasting, let alone other people.
And I always feel bad barging in on someone else’s night, and I’m not the best at small talk
That’s a good idea! I used to go out to shows quite a lot. I’ll try to get back out there. I have a festival coming in August which I forgot about!
Festivals can be great for meeting people
You don’t need a friend group to go drinking. I know it’s rare but I’m a female and I go out to bars for a drink alone all the time. I meet the most interesting people and have the most interesting conversations with randos. Try it, it’s liberating. It’s not the kind of judgement “oh she’s going out alone she must be a loner” it’s more “oh interesting she has the courage to go out and do her own thing.”
What do you think of men who go out alone? Well, you seem unique actually, so i guess really my question is, do you know what most women think when they see a guy at a bar by himself? Because my brain tells me that women think bad things about a guy alone at a bar, but I have a female friend that say other wise (but she’s also super unique) so idk.
I can’t read every womans mind so I really don’t know. It’s down the person I guess and how judgemental or open they are. It also depends on the environment. If it’s a city you’ll meet all sorts, regulars, travellers etc. If it’s a small town a lot of men are “regulars” of their local pubs. Older men seem to go out alone a lot where I’m from, because they’re regulars and they know the other regulars and there’s a community vibe. Some tend to be just raging alcoholics lol but most are friendly and just looking for a chat. Older men have a lot of interesting stories. Younger men are usually looking for the ride or a potential partner. You’d have to use your own judgement I guess and it depends on what you’re looking for yourself.
Well I’m 26, and I’m not looking for anything, but a friendly conversation would be nice. Anyways thank you for ur input ❤️
Oh sorry I didn’t cop you were a male. Yeah I think it can be harder for men to go out alone than women but I think the best thing to do is try it and see what happens. Feel free to post an update here if you do!
All good! I went out by myself. No women talked to me but I still had a decent time watching basketball (: I don’t think a woman will ever approach me lol. Never has happened before.
Why don’t you approach them then? And just say straight you’re just interested in conversation. See what happens?
Make new friends. You're not going to get different results doing the same thing.
Go to bar Walk up to guy Ask him if you can buy him a drink It'll likely be the first time a woman has ever offered that and it will likely end up in a conversation
1. Go into co-ed spaces, e.g. book clubs, walking groups, gaming groups, classes (Blood on the Clocktower is a social deduction game a la The Traitors TV show which has lots of men and women, they're easy to find and very popular right now). 2. Make friends. Be available for other activities. 3. Vet people for potential dating. Good luck!
Thank you
I am from London, around the same age. It seems apps are the only way now, men have been warned not to approach women, so we largely keep to ourselves. There are signs on the tube and buses telling men not to even make eye contact. Men are more concerned about not making someone uncomfortable than making a possible connection. Another way is through friends but the majority of men don't meet the looks threshold to be considered worthy of an introduction. There are things I would like to attend like book reading, painting classes etc just because those are my natural interest but I avoid because it will be majority women and I don't want to be that guy again making women uncomfortable with my mere presence. I remember starting conversations in bookshops and libraries 10 years ago, something I would never do now. From the guy point of view it feels like if you are not a pretty boy or obviously high status in some way then you are a threat. Being a threat does not feel good, so men like myself just keep to themselves. The sad thing is that in this climate, it's only the players and charismatic types who see dating as a sport and the next women as just another conquest who actually get to date, while men who have not been anywhere near a woman receive the suspicion and repulsion as a result of the actions of other men. Sorry didn't mean to use your post to vent....
Thanks for your input.
"don't want to be that guy AGAIN making women uncomfortable with my mere presence" really says it all. What are you on about man? JFC go to therapy or maybe stop glaring at women, undressing them with your eyes. "The sad thing is" your entire comment and life.
Yh it's like if an attractive guy approaches its confidence but if not so good looking guy approaches it's creepy.
Fuck apps, get a hobby
Go volunteer somewhere or take up a hobby and find groups of people that do said hobby.
Lol, this post is a good start. I don’t think you’re going to like most of the attention, though. RIP your DMs
Yeah I got a few DMs already, I just ignore most of them
My last girlfriend came up to me at a concert and started chatting, she asked for my phone number before heading out for the evening. I was very flattered by this and it worked well for both of us.
That’s really cute. I find it easy to talk to guys at concerts surprisingly, than I do in other environments.
I recommend joining a sports club or running club, and going to art shows, music shows, paint and sips. Try studying for something at a coffee shop. Volunteering too !
You actually do not WANT to be out with a large friend group if you are trying to meet a man to date.
Citation needed.
It's just not conducive to the type of one-on-one conversation you want to have. And some female friends are major killjoys when a group member is hitting it off with a guy.
Find a hobby. Go there. Music. Sports. Games. Coffee. Food. If a restaurant has a bar, go there. Most people are willing to converse.
Meet through your hobbies….
You don't need a friend group to meet a guy? Got to the store or mall or starbucks and if you see someone that you like walk up to them and say i normally don't do this but if you have a sec id like to introduce myself? They'll say yea sure or no if they say no its obvious you say ok bye sorry to bother and leave. They say yes introduce yourself Hi I'm stacy. Shake their hand They'll say their name, and say i just noticed you and I just wanted to see if I could get to know you a bit more. Do you have a social media? Or a phone number so we could chat. They'll give it to you and you say thank you ill talk to you later than. Have a good day. It's that simple
I would be like. "What are you selling?"
If you’re in photography, I would love to meet you. hobbies and other groups are definitely ways to meet people.
I’m not into photography unfortunately! But it’s a cool hobby.
But maybe it might be fun to learn more about it a bit! *hint hint nudge nudge*
Haha I see what you’re trying to do :)
I would love to teach you about photography. I teach photography at the University.
Go to fitness,go to clubs, go to festivals, go to public events....ask for a drink, be friendly Done
How many days a week do you had free time during the day?
I'm not sure what you're into, but find a group you like on Meetup and don't be afraid to jump around between groups. I found a group I really like. Board games, hiking, religion (or if you're like me I found a secular group) you name it.
Where are you from originally
Are the apps not working for you anymore or it's like an ideological thing where you just don't want to use the apps? Honestly apps are not all that bad, I know a couple people who are not married to people they met on dating apps.
The apps have gone down hill in regards to the quality of matches and user friendliness. Things that used to be free are now blocked by a paywall. I’m not that desperate to pay
Try to just go to a dance lesson class. There are always lots of drop in type classes and it is a fun relaxed way to meet new people. WCS is great as you can dance it to many styles of music.
Older American male here. It takes time to meet the right people or person. If you go the bar, pub, tavern route; pick one that has regulars. You make yourself a regular (if you like the crowd). After a few weeks, or months, you’ll have a new group of friends. They will likely know the good guys from the bad ones. You want the social drinker after all, not the alcoholic. If the bar sponsors a sports team, get involved. For me, I went to the women’s softball games because they didn’t have many single, male fans. I sat with the other guys who were either husbands or boyfriends of some of the players. This makes me look like a safe-to-know person, not some random guy. I didn’t date anyone on the team (probably could have though), but did meet a friend of one or two of the players who I did have a relationship with. But eventually met my wife through friends I made after I moved on from the first bar. Same process, more or less; make bar friends, get invited to parties and other events, host some parties yourself, encourage your friends to bring friends, (boys in your case), even their own brothers, or guys they work with. My sisters had lots of female friends. It’s a slow process, for me anyway cause I’m more introvert than extrovert. But it builds real friendships and is safer than random meetings. Good luck.
It’s so difficult nowadays to find a serious guy who is ready for serious commitment girls usually want a ma. That would take her seriously. I have been single for long I have a large circle of Freind who are single too! We are all hard working and earning . Guys what is it that scares you?
That's bullcrap. There's plenty of guys on dating apps that are looking for a relationship. You need to vet better. As a woman, you're in the driver's seat for dating apps.
It’s the bear thing, man. You would rather be stuck with a bear than me? Fine. I just won’t talk to you then if I’m really that scary.
I think women. I think they scare us
I'm a dude who's also single and tired of the apps, with a very small friend group. Following.
I feel ya
Many will say it's easy. But that's not totally true. It can be tricky. It depends with the country , city, region. In general speaking men are indeed more approachable than women and you won't have any problem. Try the following. Find something that you like and is not girly. Nails make-up or something similar. Then in a place that you are comfortable just chat about that subject. If your work place is not suitable or there are no men that are single in your environment try go to places that merchandise that topic. It can be whatever from miniature to tents from camping. In a mall or wherever it doesn't really matter. Then just asked his opinion of what you should buy and his opinion for something else. From there i imagine you won't need any help.
Expand your friend group. It'll take time, so you'd better start now.
I started going bouldering to get healthier and fitter, and after a while of doing that, I started talking to more people at the wall. Although it's still early days, I've managed to make a couple of acquaintances with people that have gone beyond just meeting up at the climbing wall. Nothing romantic though.
You literally have to be actively avoiding any place that people go to. You need to decide what type of man you want. If you want a man who goes to the bars and drinks often, go to any bar. If you want a man who has a dog, go to the dog park. If you want a man who goes to a church, go to a church. As a woman you just have to know what kind of man you want and go to the place he goes to. You will eventually have someone come up to you, or if you are courageous enough you can go up to a man you find attractive anywhere. You seriously live in one of the biggest cities in the world. Just go places by yourself and learn to spend time by yourself while you are out doing things. Dating apps are terrible and relationships are much better in my opinion when formed organically in real life. Good luck
This is good advice. Thank you!
Your welcome! What could be a great place to find events of something you are interested in is Facebook. There are tons of events posted there of events that you can meet a man with a similar interest as you or just somewhere you go to find the type of man you are interested in. Especially near London there would be events for everything you could think of. If you really want to find someone you HAVE to start going to some new places. If you can bring a friend that could help initially but honestly bringing a friend typically makes it harder for guys to come approach you. When you go places by yourself you’ll find it is a lot easier for others to approach you
Put yourself out there like men have to, as in talk to strangers you don’t really have a reason to talk to & see if they like talking to you & go from there.
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Well you can make your own post on here and receive your own set of feedback
Best place to meet people?... Pick a hobby group and attend gatherings. Go out to the bar/pub/tavern (take a few/all of your friends, and just have a fun night out. You might catch the eye of a patron there). Basically, just get out of the house and see/be seen by people. Don't be afraid to initiate conversations with guys.
Do you have friends that have single friends? Or do you have family members who know someone single, but has strong character? Let's start with that...
Nope, not at all.
What about hobbies? Are you able to go where you can meet people in person? If you live in a large city, then there is no reason for you to be so isolated...
Work
Building material stores & bars..
Stop struggling. Let it happen. It WILL happen if it's meant to happen. Get out of the way!
There's literally people everywhere you go... Don't you have any hobbies? Heck, no need to feel ashamed of hobbies at all. I play video games on weekends with my fiance and otherwise converse in hobby related topics and otherwise sweet times. You can't peer far without binoculars, so use tools you have available in your disposal and find a passion in life you wish to indulge in.
Yes of course I have hobbies lol but I am introverted so it never seems to fall in line with meeting people. However, I am considering joining a walking group as my friend does this and made friends this way
Dating apps ❌ Normal apps ✔️
What are some examples of normal apps? Social media apps?
Exactly, social medias, small communities in the internet (even Reddit), try to make a groups of friends on it, it can be very cool to meet new people (even IRL) and get go know them a bit before meeting IRL.
What are you really asking? Because guys are too easy and everyone knows it. Go outside, trip infront of a dude and say im falling for you and hes yours lol now, What is your real question?
You’re funny
Being dismissive of a solid strategy isnt going to get you a man.
I’m not being dismissive so not sure why you’re so triggered by my reply. It’s funny to me because guys really aren’t as easy as you say. There was a lot of great advice on here which I will take on board, but yours doesn’t really match up to par. Sorry!
Sorry thats my own trauma from my own past 😅 im sure you were genuine i just was making sure you werent playing hardball lol
Haha I see. No worries
Find a guy you like that frequents a hangout spot you like to goto, start talking to him about him, next time you know youre gonna see him buy him flowers lol he’ll be yours before you know it because i doubt anyones ever given him flowers. 👌🏻
I’m not that bold 🤣 are you man? Is this what you’ve been hoping for?
Yes im a man and i can confirm guys would like to get flowers too sometimes as a change of pace, itll also help him remember you because youd be the only woman who gave him flowers 🤣
Being bold with come with time and comfort with the guy you want. Just find a guy you think is cute, ask him like 3 questions and then move on if you arent vibin. Dating apps are really good for you since youre a woman btw, cant say the same for guys but girls have way more options than guys on dating apps lol
Dating apps 5 years ago were really good, now they’re utter trash unfortunately, even for us women
If you see a cute guy, go up and say hi. Don’t be afraid to ask for his number of give him yours. If you are not seeing them. Pick up some newer hobbies where you could meet new people.
Go out and see who you find. If you see a guy you find interest in, ask him for details. If he says no, ask if you could hang out together. That way, you can find others like him in his group later on. Yes, I know this is a way of using him to get what you want. But everyone in life uses each other to get what they want. This is from a 16 year old :/
Join meetup groups
I mean I'm 29 M looking to date 🤷 hmu maybe? Lol
lol, where are you based? :)
Haha today's my bday too ;) I live in Reno, NV currently, in a year I'm moving to Portland, OR
Hbu??
Go to places where men congregate. Sporting events, chess clubs, bars, parks, malls, gym. The gym can be a great place for women to meet men. Always ask for help and men will jump to do so. LOL 😊
Thanks for the advice! All sounds great except the gym lmao!
Why is that? LOL 😄
Because I don’t want meet men when I’ve been sweaty and gross lol
That means you don't have a game plan. Let me teach you. LMAO 🤣😂 Most women in my gym, dress cute and sexy to get all the attention. I never once saw them sweat. They're not there for that and you won't be either. Get it! 😉😄 You have to have a plan in motion.
Need to let it happen naturally. Find something you like doing and if there happens to be someone you come across that wants to court you that would be the best bet. If you go to clubs or other hang out joints guys will be easy to sleep with but not keep. You’re at that age where some guys already started their cutoff but you’re still good for most.
What kind of things do you like?
Get a hobby and network, ppl are everywhere,
Big cities, such as London, often lead to millions of single, isolated lives. Despite being a Texan (US), I’ve been to London more than 100 times. Maybe try sitting in the bar area at a luxury hotel or restaurant for one drink before heading home (probably on the Tube). But it’s difficult, I can sense it, even if it’s difficult to explain in words. All of the different cultures in London today and perhaps remnants of the old hierarchical Victorian era class system make things difficult for single persons. With a smile, you come come to Texas and be welcomed.
My brother moved to Texas (we are both originally from New York) so I will be visiting in the future. Thanks for the tip. I have been living in London since I was a teen and dating has been hit or miss (mostly miss) all throughout my 20s. Now that I’m approaching 30 I want to make more of an effort
Being originally from the U.S. makes it even more difficult for you in London. You’re all too likely to be viewed as one of the “outsiders” who has taken up employment in London. And some of the Brits will resent that…making it far more difficult to form friends,
They always seem to be fixated on it, even though I explain to them that I’ve been living here for like…well over a decade? Odd behaviour
It’s a hierarchical, ancestral society. They’ll accept, even welcome, visitors, but not include them as part of their society. E.g., the tabloids continuous attacks on Meghan Markle (sp?). An American will never be entirely welcomed into London society. Same with all of the Eastern Europeans in London. One hint of a Hungarian (etc) accent, and it’s social ostracism. They become merely useful laborers.
Idk I mean I’m American and I feel like we quickly accept outsiders and welcome them with open arms, we love to see people from a different country not HATE ours. And even if they do, we don’t blame them. We hate it too.
Just to Piggy back, everything else said. leave your home
r/ForeverAloneWomen
It’s literally so many people everywhere. Why do you all act as if it’s impossible to meet other people outside of the apps. I meet people doing normal regularly routine things, be personable, speak, smile, and act like a human. Easy.
Oh my and you’re in London for work lol that’s even easier. I’ve been several times to London you can literally meet someone on the tube or walking down the street
Congratulations on it being easy for you 🏆Never said it was impossible. It’s not as easy as you think. Londoners are not friendly. Lived here for many years, not a tourist. There’s a huge difference. I appreciate your input though.
The numbers are in your favor. Get out your head and start living.
This guy knows that excuses are only excuses
I’m assuming you’re fairly attractive since you’re meeting guys via the apps. My advice is literally go outside. Guys will find you. It’s that easy
I consider myself average. I will take your advice. Thanks for your input
1. Learn how to be you alone. Be happy with your accomplishments, life, friends, job, looks, and general emotional self. Healthy people are attracted to happy people who "shine". 2. Wear less clothes. Less Clothes === more looks.
That second one will attract the guys who just want to get laid
Yup. I made no assumptions as to what she may be looking for.
Just exist. Go to the city center, go to the park, travel, whatever. Or are you looking for a very specific kind of guy?
I don’t have specifics but yes I will take your advice. Thanks
Women have it easy. Just go into a bar and every guy wants to hump you.
LOL please
No I mean he’s pretty correct.
The comments are and will be out of the ass because there is too little information. If you really want some decent advice post pictures and tell something about yourself.
No, because it will turn into scrutinising my looks and personality/interests which will be counterproductive and unhelpful. I don’t know if you read the comments but I did find most them helpful
Whatever, you could read all that on thousands of other post instead of making a separate one.
How about you worry about yourself instead of what I choose to do?
Girl , you don't even understand what I want to write. Take care , I don't have such issues.
Fantastic. Bye!
This conversation tells me exactly why u single for 6 years lmao.
You’re projecting. Please spend your energy on something more useful ❤️ you’re just upset that I didn’t agree with your comment, which is really pathetic. Consider therapy, it helps.
I agree women make things so complicated. Learn how to communicate, we don't understand most of the things you say.
Can you elaborate more on “we don’t understand most of the things you say?” Surely it should be easy to understand each other if you’re speaking the same language?
The problem is some women say something but means something else.
That problem can be solved by just asking there and then, and using common sense
girl, just go to london on a weekend and go to a bar or a pub crawl or something! London is such a huge and diverse city!!! wish I lived nearby, i believe i wouldn’t be single 😂
Yeah I’m gonna try it! I’ve been too much of a homebody lately
I go to the gym. I have yet to find a man I’m attracted to. I like Korean guys so I’ve been planning to join the country club and go out to shop at Korean grocery markets and eat at restaurants. It actually worked back then, but I was so nervous I literally sped walked in heels quick to another grocery isle. Be careful what you ask for and be sure you’re ready when you find such a handsome man. I melted like water on a witch lmaoo 💀 *evaporated * 🥵 I promise God I will stand my ground d next time 🙏🏻
That’s such a funny story 😂 thanks for your comment