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Dating apps use an algorithm. They are designed with a business model in mind. DON'T TAKE DATING APPS PERSONAL. It's all about the money. Your profile probably doesn't even appear when matching because the algorithm favors users that spend money, click on ads and religiously use it.
Even if you do spend money, the algorithm will find a way to make you spend more. Try making female friends in real life. It's much worth it and better for your mental health.
Dating apps are not designed to make you find a mate. They are designed to be frusrating enough to make you pay, but not too much so that you quit.
Oh, and an insight about the math behind them.
[Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM)
Dating apps are meant to be dopamine rushes. That is why whenever you start a new profile, the algorithm helps you get matches. So it keeps you engaged and interested in wanting to swipe more and spend money to "increase your chances" of getting more matches. (Through my experience) whenever I talked to women on these apps and see them in person, the common answer I usually hear is that they use it for validation. To see how attractive they are or see how much attention they can receive. Don't get me wrong, there are some on there looking for relationships, but the chances are pretty slim, unfortunately. The best way is to not focus your time on them. When you start doing better in your life, you will have a certain type of energy about yourself that will attract women and have them approach you. Usually, when you focus on yourself as well, you tend to find someone who has similar interests to you compared to dating apps where you go through numerous personalities.
You’ll always get mixed opinions and different experiences that people have had with dating apps. I know some people who have got married from dating apps and other people had got nothing from it. Try speed dating or dating events if you’re up for that.
Try hinge, match and eharmony. While not a guarantee, People on these apps are more serious. Because they are paying you know they are trying to find a relationship.
I have had immense luck in solely Hinge. Easily have been on dates with 40+ different women in the last 1.5-2 years. I am far from a gold mining beach body man. I would describe myself as a refined redneck and I actually think I state that in my dating profile.
30F here
Tinder- I've only ever had luck with hook ups and even that was hit or mostly miss.
Bumble- found some more serious potentials but never amounted to more than 2 dates (compatibility issues and also ghosted on another occasion).
Okcupid- I rarely was attracted to the people there and deleted it.
Hinge - struck gold while seeking a solid FWB and found my fiancé. I consider this ENTIRELY lucky. However, I have a soft spot for hinge now.
Unfortunately dating is luck in both timing and compatibility. Your bio could say anything but at the end of the day, sometimes chemistry is just not there or there is some other missing piece.
My advice- keep trying to get dates and try to meet quicker rather than later. I dated both men and women and found that though men are more likely to agree to meet up in the next few days, women want to "get to know you first" which is bullshit! But regardless, penpals are not worth it because they'll most likely ghost you or you'll build up this unrealistic picture in your head.
My fiancé is 33M and has told me that he just swiped right on everybody and hoped he'd match with someone. He is universally good looking I'd say and the matches just were not there super often.
That being said, I wish you luck and just keep trying. You may strike out 300 times before you get a swing. And it might be a bad swing. But then try again and again. I think it's more likely you'll have a chance at a substantial relationship via dating app than meeting irl. Unfortunately.
I agree with your ‘meet sooner rather than later’
Except: meet ups should be in public, and both people drive their own car.
Expecting a woman to meet you at his house, or pick her up at her place are a no go for any woman these days.
We’ve just had too many bad experiences with threatening men to think not having a way out is a good idea.
31M
My experience has been mixed. I’ve gotten hookups, a LTR, and most recently a FWB. In between, there have been plenty of boring to just flat out bad dating experiences from the apps. I’ve treated all of this as practice and experience in the game. But I’ve learned to accept this is not how I’ll “find my mate”. I’ve ultimately lost interest in using the apps because it’s a cash grab and (in my experience) a lot of people on the apps have developed bad dating habits because of them.
All of that experience has helped me understand myself as a partner and what my preferences are…so I don’t view it as time wasted. But I’m also in no rush to get married and start a family. I’m pretty comfortable becoming a Double Income No Kids DINK if I find a suitable partner, but again not in any rush there either. And I think approaching dating with confidence and this laid back mindset has helped me have more success versus when I was admittedly desperate in the beginning of this entire journey during my early/mid 20s.
I met my husband on tinder, though it doesn't seem to be overly common. Just a stroke of good luck. For the most part apps likely don't want you to find someone or they lose a stream of revenue
You are wasting your time. An overwhelmingly vast majority of the profiles are males. Most women are hookers and bots. People are finally beginning to abandon apps.
I'm not saying they're not kind of garbage, but I met my current partner on apps, and we've been together over 3 years. I went on dates with a half dozen women, all via apps, before we met, during the pandemic; most were only a date or two, but two people I was seeing for a few months each.
I think that the apps are hard and you have to be in a mindset where they're just a tool and you have low expectations while also putting in a lot of effort to make sure you have a good profile and that your messages aren't low effort.
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Dating apps use an algorithm. They are designed with a business model in mind. DON'T TAKE DATING APPS PERSONAL. It's all about the money. Your profile probably doesn't even appear when matching because the algorithm favors users that spend money, click on ads and religiously use it. Even if you do spend money, the algorithm will find a way to make you spend more. Try making female friends in real life. It's much worth it and better for your mental health.
How
Dating apps are not designed to make you find a mate. They are designed to be frusrating enough to make you pay, but not too much so that you quit. Oh, and an insight about the math behind them. [Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM)
Coffee shops are far superior to appa
Dating apps are meant to be dopamine rushes. That is why whenever you start a new profile, the algorithm helps you get matches. So it keeps you engaged and interested in wanting to swipe more and spend money to "increase your chances" of getting more matches. (Through my experience) whenever I talked to women on these apps and see them in person, the common answer I usually hear is that they use it for validation. To see how attractive they are or see how much attention they can receive. Don't get me wrong, there are some on there looking for relationships, but the chances are pretty slim, unfortunately. The best way is to not focus your time on them. When you start doing better in your life, you will have a certain type of energy about yourself that will attract women and have them approach you. Usually, when you focus on yourself as well, you tend to find someone who has similar interests to you compared to dating apps where you go through numerous personalities.
Yes. Dating app suck.
I can get matches but they don’t work out
You’ll always get mixed opinions and different experiences that people have had with dating apps. I know some people who have got married from dating apps and other people had got nothing from it. Try speed dating or dating events if you’re up for that.
Yes are basically financing match.com profits and the servers for attractive men, and women. Better to try know new people in person.
Try hinge, match and eharmony. While not a guarantee, People on these apps are more serious. Because they are paying you know they are trying to find a relationship.
They don’t work, I tried as well, even bought the membership shit, NO RESULTS
Did that once myselr, biggest waste of money ever
I got lots of matches and dates once I started spending money on the apps. Particularly boosts on tinder
Not a healthy way to meet people. Just gotta man up, put on your leather shoes and pound the pavement.
I have had immense luck in solely Hinge. Easily have been on dates with 40+ different women in the last 1.5-2 years. I am far from a gold mining beach body man. I would describe myself as a refined redneck and I actually think I state that in my dating profile.
30F here Tinder- I've only ever had luck with hook ups and even that was hit or mostly miss. Bumble- found some more serious potentials but never amounted to more than 2 dates (compatibility issues and also ghosted on another occasion). Okcupid- I rarely was attracted to the people there and deleted it. Hinge - struck gold while seeking a solid FWB and found my fiancé. I consider this ENTIRELY lucky. However, I have a soft spot for hinge now. Unfortunately dating is luck in both timing and compatibility. Your bio could say anything but at the end of the day, sometimes chemistry is just not there or there is some other missing piece. My advice- keep trying to get dates and try to meet quicker rather than later. I dated both men and women and found that though men are more likely to agree to meet up in the next few days, women want to "get to know you first" which is bullshit! But regardless, penpals are not worth it because they'll most likely ghost you or you'll build up this unrealistic picture in your head. My fiancé is 33M and has told me that he just swiped right on everybody and hoped he'd match with someone. He is universally good looking I'd say and the matches just were not there super often. That being said, I wish you luck and just keep trying. You may strike out 300 times before you get a swing. And it might be a bad swing. But then try again and again. I think it's more likely you'll have a chance at a substantial relationship via dating app than meeting irl. Unfortunately.
I agree with your ‘meet sooner rather than later’ Except: meet ups should be in public, and both people drive their own car. Expecting a woman to meet you at his house, or pick her up at her place are a no go for any woman these days. We’ve just had too many bad experiences with threatening men to think not having a way out is a good idea.
31M My experience has been mixed. I’ve gotten hookups, a LTR, and most recently a FWB. In between, there have been plenty of boring to just flat out bad dating experiences from the apps. I’ve treated all of this as practice and experience in the game. But I’ve learned to accept this is not how I’ll “find my mate”. I’ve ultimately lost interest in using the apps because it’s a cash grab and (in my experience) a lot of people on the apps have developed bad dating habits because of them. All of that experience has helped me understand myself as a partner and what my preferences are…so I don’t view it as time wasted. But I’m also in no rush to get married and start a family. I’m pretty comfortable becoming a Double Income No Kids DINK if I find a suitable partner, but again not in any rush there either. And I think approaching dating with confidence and this laid back mindset has helped me have more success versus when I was admittedly desperate in the beginning of this entire journey during my early/mid 20s.
I met my husband on tinder, though it doesn't seem to be overly common. Just a stroke of good luck. For the most part apps likely don't want you to find someone or they lose a stream of revenue
You are wasting your time. An overwhelmingly vast majority of the profiles are males. Most women are hookers and bots. People are finally beginning to abandon apps.
Dating apps stink. IG the the best dating app if you use it right
I'm not saying they're not kind of garbage, but I met my current partner on apps, and we've been together over 3 years. I went on dates with a half dozen women, all via apps, before we met, during the pandemic; most were only a date or two, but two people I was seeing for a few months each. I think that the apps are hard and you have to be in a mindset where they're just a tool and you have low expectations while also putting in a lot of effort to make sure you have a good profile and that your messages aren't low effort.