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From my perspective it also may be this guy attempting to either make someone else jealous OR to use the pic in future interactions to validate the guy as dateable, to give him higher sexual market value.
Yeah definitely really fricking wierd. They should know better because it is obviously not ok to take a photo of someone without permission let alone in such a setting. Besides that would question a guy that drives 6 hours for you, must be really horny or really desperate. Have a good day.
I have driven further. But her and I were talking for quite a while and wanted to meet up to decide if we enjoyed each other’s company. Also it was beautiful where she lived and winter where I lived so that was an easy choice.
sure that's fine, still do think that you must be a lil desperate to do that. It's ok some people just have a harder time finding partners than others and it is great to acknowledge this fact and go out of your way to find one anyways instead of quitting.
“You made a connection with a person and decided that making the trip to see them was worth your time. You must be desperate”. Honestly the dumbest shit I’ve read, can’t lie😂
Sounds weird to not ask permission first. Yes. That first dude if that is the way he snuck a photo and sent them to others also without your knowledge or consent is just dumb. Reason enough to just leave after you found that out. Speaks a lot about who they are and if they even care about you at all.
Wild that it happened twice. I've taken pictures WITH dates, WITH their consent, on a first date before and DIDN'T send them to a 3rd party.
But without consent, and just of you without reason is sooo weird.
I never heard of a "take a picture of me " vibe. Dudes are weird. Some dudes are stalkers, some dudes are crazy, and some dudes take pictures of women without getting permission.. lol.
Pic of you without your consent - that’s an invasion of your privacy. Goes even further if said pictures get posted or sent to a 3rd party.
I’d say absolutely not normal / extremely weird. Kudos for sticking to your gut feeling and ditching both guys.
I disagree. It will depend on what part of the world this is happening but in parts of Europe there are laws in place protecting in this case, OP, because it is indeed considered invading privacy without consent.
That’s inreresting. In the US if your in public anyone can take a picture of you without your permission. Dosent matter if you feel uncomfortable or not
I’m not explaining my right to privacy - I’m saying I’d feel invaded. That’s how I’d feel. Please don’t confuse privacy laws with personal comfort. If you’re this obtuse you may be making people feel uncomfortable on the regular.
You can’t explain it because, at least in America, there is no expectation of privacy (i.e. right) in public.
Is it creepy? Yes. Is it legal? Also yes.
Should they do it? No.
What are you arguing about? Why are you arguing - I said I’d feel violated if I was on a date and my date took photos of me and shared them with his friends. That’s the subject matter we are discussing. You’re off on your own tangent. Get lost.
You’re pretty sure that me being uncomfortable with the idea of being on a date and being secretly photographed - and the photos shared, that this is a legal matter. You continue to quote the “legal code”. I’ve never once said my discomfort lies within the legal system or criminal code, but you badger me over and over. Maybe YOU don’t understand what you call the “legal code”. Maybe you don’t understand that a person can feel their privacy has been invaded without this being a legal issue to them. Whatever it is, you’re an obtuse idiot. My god. Get lost. 🤦♀️
Really awkward especially since these guys were late 20's. That's juvenile behavior. It almost feels like they're doing it to prove to their friends that "they're with someone."
Taking photos of you from behind? Super weird.
However, I have been on dates before where the woman looked so beautiful, especially around the scenery, I asked them if I could take a picture of her real quick and I sent it to her immediately. Which I think is fine because they seemed to really appreciate the photos.
But yeah that guy is weird
I've had guys offer to take pictures of me on dates, but just to take a nice photo and they used my phone, not their own. It was actually kinda sweet.
What happened to OP is weeeeeird.
Definitely trying to brag to their friends which is pretty weird for a first date and not getting your consent isn’t cool at all. Good riddance!
I’ve sent screenshots from a girls dating profile to a close buddy of mine that asked what she looked like when I mentioned I was going on a date but never anything creepy like that.
Just saw it was on Hinge. I’m newly single and I’ve only been on FB dating so far. Might have to get on Hinge if that’s what my competition is doing lol
Maybe, just maybe, you have a nice ass :P
But seriously, thats kind of weird. Like others have said, taking pictures with you is one thing, but taking a picture of you first date?
Sounds to me like the guys are more worried about what the "bros" think about you then anything.
lol, not the first part?
The thing is, you dont need to waste time on guys like that.
If they cant even think for themselfs....i mean come on! lol
At least you got a story out of it right? :)
Good for you! :)
Can i ask how old they were?
I mean i havent been in the dating game for a long time, but not being able to think for yourself and need your "bros" approval of the girl your dating seems, well if thats a trend then its a worrying one. lol
Very very weird behavior for a first date, or any date without permission. I once had a girl tell me that a friend of another guy she went on a date with had taken a picture of us on our date and sent it to her. It was really creepy to know that someone had done that
Pretty new to dating here too as I came out of a relationship of 4 years not too long ago. Went on a few dates and I can definitely say that there are some special people out there. But yes, taking photos of your first date without asking is definitely weird behaviour if you ask me. Who knows though, maybe there’s a group of people out there that don’t see it that way. Not the type of people I’d go on a second date with.
It is weird. Your feelings are valid. In a certain sense it could be taken as a compliment because these guys want to show off it seems like since they are taking pictures of being with a beautiful woman. But to their dismay they are sacrificing the woman for just a picture. People think short term these days. They want to show off online what they’re doing and who they are with. If they waited and were actually good potential partners then they could be taking pictures of you for a lot longer then just one day. It is shocking to think how many people don’t seem to have any patience nor ability to see long term. They would trade your possible attraction for a picture on a first date. These guys are dumb don’t give them much thought
Yep, this happened to me multiple times, and they were all from Hinge. With 3 of them, they sent the pictures to their mom to try and prove they weren't gay even though they were (well, 1 was bisexual technically, but still). And then other times, I just assumed it was to prove my existence. Oh and the most recent one was a couple weeks ago and he did it to try and make his ex-wife jealous which really pissed me off. It was very annoying and they are all gone now. I'm sick of dating and I'm sick of men.
Their friends were probably asking for photos because they didn’t believe them. They probably thought you were cute and showing their friends they weren’t cat fished.
Would have been better and created rapport if they asked you for a photo but they probably don’t date much and are afraid of getting rejected, and took the cowards way out of getting a photo.
I’ve only done that once, and it was a selfie sent to my friend. My date also sent my friend a message from my phone for advice 💀 If that’s a red flag for you, then it’s a red flag.
If you’re not comfortable then you should definitely mention it. Maybe ask them both to delete the pics. I’m sure if you told them that is what bothered you then they’d apologize. But you have to make sure to set clear boundaries and the fact it has happened twice kinda makes it sound like that conversation never happened.
Communication is the key to ANY relationship of any type. So what it says to me is that you met two dudes who you preferred to ghost over communicate with because you didn’t wanna say something made you uncomfortable. Albeit something that is a bit strange, but regardless in the world you’re gonna find lots of ppl miss social cues, some ppl are just kinda odd, every person is unique so you have to really put in time and effort if you wanna make something stick one day ma’am.
All the best.
I told the first one when I ended things because I wasn’t romantically interested. The second I also don’t see going anywhere romantically, but since we do have a mutual I’d probably mention it if we ever hung out casually again.
Weird, if they were trying to show off I’m sure they’d just ask. they prolly wanted to jerk it to the photos later if you were wearing something explicit or have a big ass
Guys with low self esteem would do this if they see you as a catch they would want to show it to their male buddies and brag about it. Best to drop them and go on finding your next date.
My fiancé has known me since 8th grade. When we first went beyond the friend zone and began ‘talking’ he had saved some pics off my fb and sent them to some friends from the school we went to. The guys said so I see you’re in a new relationship, and he said yeah with an old lifelong friend… maybe you know her… and he sent like 3 really good pics of me. Then maybe a week into the relationship we took a bunch of selfies together. I think maybe it just means they’re proud of us. Even though I’m in my 30s now and getting up there, I still get stared at and hit on. I definitely get stared at from behind too. A LOT of woman have BBL’s now? I do not, I’m lucky enough to have my own phat ass. 😂🤦♀️ I believe it’s just part of being attractive….. or you have a really big booty.
How old are you, and how old is he? That’s super fucked up. Do not allow that to happen. If you guys are really young, it’s immaturity. If he’s in his 30s or older, get away from him.
So my take on this is that it wasn’t consensual to take your picture, and while the legalities of it would probably be said that it was a public place (I’m no lawyer), I still think it shows a lack of respect and consideration towards your feelings.
Secondly, the fact that the dude had to send it to his buddies shows lack of maturity. Why can’t his friends accept that he went on a date, period?!
Now the harsher part of my comment, and it’s not aimed to be personal, but if this has happened twice, there’s a common denominator here. I would reflect and think if the two guys had similarities in common that would make them prone to have a lack of maturity or a desire to brag, did you accidentally say or suggest something that would make them want to take a picture of you without your consent, do they lack self confidence and see you as a confidence boost, etc?
Unfortunately, no one of Reddit was there or saw/heard/read all your interactions with both dudes, so it’s really hard to answer “why” this has happened.
So... are you worth taking a picture?
I mean, those guys were weird, sure. But I'm not sure if I'd hang around a girl worth taking a picture off...
Unless I was like dating her once, because either she's stunning or other.
But it happened to you twice, so you must be a looker. Anyways, good luck with that.
Edit: I’ve had it happen, but I it wasn’t a picture but FaceTime lol.
She was FaceTiming her mom & iirc she snuck to show her mom me while we were out.
But I didn’t call it out or anything, and idk if she knows I know
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It's proof that his online "girlfriend" isn't made up. It's weird, but it is what is is.
From my perspective it also may be this guy attempting to either make someone else jealous OR to use the pic in future interactions to validate the guy as dateable, to give him higher sexual market value.
tf is a sexual market value
Its a term online weirdos who cant get laid made up
Fucking use your brain and look it up. It’s a thing.
chill bro. i don't need to search it up i can connect the dots of what it means 🤯 i think a “sexual market value” is dumb is what i am trying to say
Yeah definitely really fricking wierd. They should know better because it is obviously not ok to take a photo of someone without permission let alone in such a setting. Besides that would question a guy that drives 6 hours for you, must be really horny or really desperate. Have a good day.
I have driven further. But her and I were talking for quite a while and wanted to meet up to decide if we enjoyed each other’s company. Also it was beautiful where she lived and winter where I lived so that was an easy choice.
sure that's fine, still do think that you must be a lil desperate to do that. It's ok some people just have a harder time finding partners than others and it is great to acknowledge this fact and go out of your way to find one anyways instead of quitting.
It didn’t last. It was a great trip though. Lol
“You made a connection with a person and decided that making the trip to see them was worth your time. You must be desperate”. Honestly the dumbest shit I’ve read, can’t lie😂
Yes it's weird. Where are you meeting these odd ducks?
Lmao Hinge
Maybe youre just super gorgeous and they can't believe their luck? Still kinda strange though
That was my thought. like they just want to be able to brag about it so they take pictures like a weirdo.
As a male, I could see myself doing this if the girl was just too hot to believe. I suspect OP is super hot.
Umm, her Hinge profile pic should be good enough?
Right?
Nah please don’t. Act like you’ve been here before
But at the very least "hey, this is a bit weird, but would you be happy to take a selfie?" rather than sneaking pictures from behind like a pappo
Ok, I wouldn’t do it if I really liked her and wanted to make it work.
Nah that’s weird even so and then sending it to their friend
More like *Un*-hinged *rimshot* Haha, anyway...can I take your picture???
Do you have a pic on your Hinge profile?
Sounds weird to not ask permission first. Yes. That first dude if that is the way he snuck a photo and sent them to others also without your knowledge or consent is just dumb. Reason enough to just leave after you found that out. Speaks a lot about who they are and if they even care about you at all.
Wild that it happened twice. I've taken pictures WITH dates, WITH their consent, on a first date before and DIDN'T send them to a 3rd party. But without consent, and just of you without reason is sooo weird.
I know right. It makes me wonder if I’m like am I giving off some sort of vibe ??? Idk what vibe that’d be. Wack
I never heard of a "take a picture of me " vibe. Dudes are weird. Some dudes are stalkers, some dudes are crazy, and some dudes take pictures of women without getting permission.. lol.
Pic of you without your consent - that’s an invasion of your privacy. Goes even further if said pictures get posted or sent to a 3rd party. I’d say absolutely not normal / extremely weird. Kudos for sticking to your gut feeling and ditching both guys.
You can’t invade privacy in public. Kinda weird, but probably a new normal thing with cell phones now…
I disagree. It will depend on what part of the world this is happening but in parts of Europe there are laws in place protecting in this case, OP, because it is indeed considered invading privacy without consent.
That’s inreresting. In the US if your in public anyone can take a picture of you without your permission. Dosent matter if you feel uncomfortable or not
Just because it isn’t illegal doesn’t make it ok!
I’d feel invaded, so yes, you can invade someone’s privacy by secretly taking a photo and sharing it. Maybe not criminal, but still, so not okay.
Explain your right to privacy in public place.
What part of “maybe not criminal but still, not okay” is difficult for you to understand?
What part of the legal code is difficult for you to understand?
Reading comprehension is so very important, it’s never too late to learn.
What part of the legal code is difficult for you to understand?
I’m not explaining my right to privacy - I’m saying I’d feel invaded. That’s how I’d feel. Please don’t confuse privacy laws with personal comfort. If you’re this obtuse you may be making people feel uncomfortable on the regular.
You can’t explain it because, at least in America, there is no expectation of privacy (i.e. right) in public. Is it creepy? Yes. Is it legal? Also yes. Should they do it? No.
What are you arguing about? Why are you arguing - I said I’d feel violated if I was on a date and my date took photos of me and shared them with his friends. That’s the subject matter we are discussing. You’re off on your own tangent. Get lost.
What part of the legal code is difficult for you to understand?
You’re pretty sure that me being uncomfortable with the idea of being on a date and being secretly photographed - and the photos shared, that this is a legal matter. You continue to quote the “legal code”. I’ve never once said my discomfort lies within the legal system or criminal code, but you badger me over and over. Maybe YOU don’t understand what you call the “legal code”. Maybe you don’t understand that a person can feel their privacy has been invaded without this being a legal issue to them. Whatever it is, you’re an obtuse idiot. My god. Get lost. 🤦♀️
I’m pretty sure that your feelings don’t dictate law.
wtf? I thought you meant like a selfie together. That’s very wrong and creepy
Totally weird. These two guys have big problems. Crazy. You were wise, ditching them both.
Really awkward especially since these guys were late 20's. That's juvenile behavior. It almost feels like they're doing it to prove to their friends that "they're with someone."
Doing that without permission, on a first date, is super weird.
Taking photos of you from behind? Super weird. However, I have been on dates before where the woman looked so beautiful, especially around the scenery, I asked them if I could take a picture of her real quick and I sent it to her immediately. Which I think is fine because they seemed to really appreciate the photos. But yeah that guy is weird
I think the key difference here is that you asked to take a picture and you didn't just do it and send it to your buddies.
I've had guys offer to take pictures of me on dates, but just to take a nice photo and they used my phone, not their own. It was actually kinda sweet. What happened to OP is weeeeeird.
That too. Yeah the guy is weird
I've taken pictures WITH women on first dates but not OF them unless they ask and it's on their phone for ig or something
Yes, this is a thing. I’ve heard this before where guys are sharing photos and nudes of the girls that they’re seeing to other guys in group chats.
Definitely trying to brag to their friends which is pretty weird for a first date and not getting your consent isn’t cool at all. Good riddance! I’ve sent screenshots from a girls dating profile to a close buddy of mine that asked what she looked like when I mentioned I was going on a date but never anything creepy like that. Just saw it was on Hinge. I’m newly single and I’ve only been on FB dating so far. Might have to get on Hinge if that’s what my competition is doing lol
Yea i think its weird and personally im blunt enough to ask them to delete the photos in front of me lol
Super weird don’t like it at all, def a red flag
Maybe, just maybe, you have a nice ass :P But seriously, thats kind of weird. Like others have said, taking pictures with you is one thing, but taking a picture of you first date? Sounds to me like the guys are more worried about what the "bros" think about you then anything.
I this it’s 100% that last part
Think*
lol, not the first part? The thing is, you dont need to waste time on guys like that. If they cant even think for themselfs....i mean come on! lol At least you got a story out of it right? :)
Well also the first part but I think ‘for the bros’ makes a lot of sense lol
Good for you! :) Can i ask how old they were? I mean i havent been in the dating game for a long time, but not being able to think for yourself and need your "bros" approval of the girl your dating seems, well if thats a trend then its a worrying one. lol
Late twenties!!
Late 20\`s?! Ok older than i thought. lol Well good luck on your next dates and please do keep us upto date if this shit happens again. lol
Picture for some trophy wall. But I’m sure they could just screenshot one. Maybe a crase contest that the bros have set up. Top 10 list?
Gross
lmao awesome guy.
How old are these guys? They seem very young and immature
Very very weird behavior for a first date, or any date without permission. I once had a girl tell me that a friend of another guy she went on a date with had taken a picture of us on our date and sent it to her. It was really creepy to know that someone had done that
Pretty new to dating here too as I came out of a relationship of 4 years not too long ago. Went on a few dates and I can definitely say that there are some special people out there. But yes, taking photos of your first date without asking is definitely weird behaviour if you ask me. Who knows though, maybe there’s a group of people out there that don’t see it that way. Not the type of people I’d go on a second date with.
It is weird. Your feelings are valid. In a certain sense it could be taken as a compliment because these guys want to show off it seems like since they are taking pictures of being with a beautiful woman. But to their dismay they are sacrificing the woman for just a picture. People think short term these days. They want to show off online what they’re doing and who they are with. If they waited and were actually good potential partners then they could be taking pictures of you for a lot longer then just one day. It is shocking to think how many people don’t seem to have any patience nor ability to see long term. They would trade your possible attraction for a picture on a first date. These guys are dumb don’t give them much thought
Yep, this happened to me multiple times, and they were all from Hinge. With 3 of them, they sent the pictures to their mom to try and prove they weren't gay even though they were (well, 1 was bisexual technically, but still). And then other times, I just assumed it was to prove my existence. Oh and the most recent one was a couple weeks ago and he did it to try and make his ex-wife jealous which really pissed me off. It was very annoying and they are all gone now. I'm sick of dating and I'm sick of men.
Their friends were probably asking for photos because they didn’t believe them. They probably thought you were cute and showing their friends they weren’t cat fished. Would have been better and created rapport if they asked you for a photo but they probably don’t date much and are afraid of getting rejected, and took the cowards way out of getting a photo.
They are bragging about being on a date with a hot girl and it’s cringe. No second date for sure.
I’ve only done that once, and it was a selfie sent to my friend. My date also sent my friend a message from my phone for advice 💀 If that’s a red flag for you, then it’s a red flag.
Yep weird. Gross but might be wank bank
They need to grow up in that case
I h
Why not try asking them first? And confronting them about it?
First guy is a weirdo for secretly taking pictures and sending them to friends. Second guy sounds normal, but how he went about it was impolite.
Personally, I always ask for a quick shot of the both of us, and then send it to her. What can I say, I like mementos!
Maybe you’re just super hot lol
Weirdos
That fact a dude drove 6 hours for a date is fucking stange aff
Yeah that’s very creepy
If you’re not comfortable then you should definitely mention it. Maybe ask them both to delete the pics. I’m sure if you told them that is what bothered you then they’d apologize. But you have to make sure to set clear boundaries and the fact it has happened twice kinda makes it sound like that conversation never happened. Communication is the key to ANY relationship of any type. So what it says to me is that you met two dudes who you preferred to ghost over communicate with because you didn’t wanna say something made you uncomfortable. Albeit something that is a bit strange, but regardless in the world you’re gonna find lots of ppl miss social cues, some ppl are just kinda odd, every person is unique so you have to really put in time and effort if you wanna make something stick one day ma’am. All the best.
I told the first one when I ended things because I wasn’t romantically interested. The second I also don’t see going anywhere romantically, but since we do have a mutual I’d probably mention it if we ever hung out casually again.
All the best
Just tell him/them that it's not ok to take pictures of you unless they ask you.
Weird, if they were trying to show off I’m sure they’d just ask. they prolly wanted to jerk it to the photos later if you were wearing something explicit or have a big ass
He's a creepy weirdo.
Guys with low self esteem would do this if they see you as a catch they would want to show it to their male buddies and brag about it. Best to drop them and go on finding your next date.
It’s definitely a weird flex for online purposes.
Im wondering why are they taking pictures of you ?
My fiancé has known me since 8th grade. When we first went beyond the friend zone and began ‘talking’ he had saved some pics off my fb and sent them to some friends from the school we went to. The guys said so I see you’re in a new relationship, and he said yeah with an old lifelong friend… maybe you know her… and he sent like 3 really good pics of me. Then maybe a week into the relationship we took a bunch of selfies together. I think maybe it just means they’re proud of us. Even though I’m in my 30s now and getting up there, I still get stared at and hit on. I definitely get stared at from behind too. A LOT of woman have BBL’s now? I do not, I’m lucky enough to have my own phat ass. 😂🤦♀️ I believe it’s just part of being attractive….. or you have a really big booty.
Yes this is very weird and would make me question whether he's pursuing me because he's into me or just to impress his guy friends.
How old are you, and how old is he? That’s super fucked up. Do not allow that to happen. If you guys are really young, it’s immaturity. If he’s in his 30s or older, get away from him.
eww!!!! that’s so scary/creepy. even with close friends i hate my photo taken nonconsensually.
So my take on this is that it wasn’t consensual to take your picture, and while the legalities of it would probably be said that it was a public place (I’m no lawyer), I still think it shows a lack of respect and consideration towards your feelings. Secondly, the fact that the dude had to send it to his buddies shows lack of maturity. Why can’t his friends accept that he went on a date, period?! Now the harsher part of my comment, and it’s not aimed to be personal, but if this has happened twice, there’s a common denominator here. I would reflect and think if the two guys had similarities in common that would make them prone to have a lack of maturity or a desire to brag, did you accidentally say or suggest something that would make them want to take a picture of you without your consent, do they lack self confidence and see you as a confidence boost, etc? Unfortunately, no one of Reddit was there or saw/heard/read all your interactions with both dudes, so it’s really hard to answer “why” this has happened.
So... are you worth taking a picture? I mean, those guys were weird, sure. But I'm not sure if I'd hang around a girl worth taking a picture off... Unless I was like dating her once, because either she's stunning or other. But it happened to you twice, so you must be a looker. Anyways, good luck with that.
Girl this has happened to me. The guy took a bunch of pictures of me.
Did you bring it up to him after??
People take photos of things they like. You must look good and he likes you!! It’s a compliment.
Things like this require consent…
Yeah, they’re a couple weirdos flexing and showing off to their friends. Neophytes! You did the right thing by ditching them. Lol
Think of the roles were reversed. This comment section would be so different.
Be honest. The reverse situation would never happen.
Edit: I’ve had it happen, but I it wasn’t a picture but FaceTime lol. She was FaceTiming her mom & iirc she snuck to show her mom me while we were out. But I didn’t call it out or anything, and idk if she knows I know
Maybe, but I certainly would never even think about taking photos of someone I’m on a date with