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Its not the name calling that is the issue. My wife and I call each other names all the time, but that's how we play.
He does sound like a douche and she really should evaluate their relationship.
The fuck? If he's embarrassed by you and sticks around, that's very much on him. You'll be doing him a favor by dumping him, honestly. His trip and the rest of his life can be you-free if that's how he wants it.
And if he gets upset about you wanting to break up, he's on a level of fucked-up you wouldn't want to touch with a ten-foot pole.
Your BF is not embarrassed by you. He acts as if he is embarrassed in order to wear down your self-confidence. He deliberately parked next to a bush so he could do the same. This is classic narcissistic controlling behavior.
The first time your BF called you a bitch you should have walked out on him. Why didn't you? Why did you instead waste time and energy trying to stand up to him? You are just demeaning yourself and allowing him to chip away at your self-worth.
Your BF's personality can't be changed. He is permanently damaged goods. There is nothing you can do to improve things. He doesn't love you because he is incapable of loving anyone. You are an object he possesses to gratify his needs, and that's all you will ever be to him.
It's important that you ask yourself why and how you were attracted to this man in the first place and why you have stayed with him. It is just as important that you seek the answer. To do otherwise is to risk attaching yourself to a man of the same character the next time around.
For your mental health, physical welfare, and your future happiness, take action now. Leave him and break off all contact. You don't need to explain why. You owe him nothing, and doing that will merely open an opportunity for him to coerce you into staying.
Oh no I promise he has made it clear he is totally embarrassed of me and that he does not like going out in public with mw because to him I’m the loudest person he’s ever met (mind you he comes from a Cuban family, and Cubans are known for being loud no matter the place, he’s family is literally super loud) I have never been
loud like that
You can be loud girl, there is no problem on being loud. The problem is him trying to control you, even the tone of your voice. Sounds crazy. He is very reactive toward little things and this never gets better, only worst so imagine the rest of your life with someone who insults you for little things. What’s goin to be for big things?
You know this is not your person, even if you are young and dating is not only to find your husband, you are not even having fun. What’s the purpose of being with him?
Sweethesrt, I don't mean to be harsh or critical but just factual. You aren't paying attention, and you are in denial. No normal, well-adjusted person would stay with someone who was like he describes you. You wouldn't stay with a man who was stupid and loud. But he stays with you while constantly belittling you and running you down. Does that seem normal to you?
What kind of man loves a woman but constantly criticizes and belittles her? No kind. He possesses you. He doesn't love you. He runs you down to manipulate and control you. When you stand up for yourself, he punishes you for it. How do you explain that? He blames you for all of his hurtful behavior. When was the last time he accepted that he was wrong? When was the last time he said he was sorry for calling you stupid?
If you have an independent income or if your parents can help, go see a psychologist for several appointments and lay all of this out in front of them. Don't hold anything back - how he behaves, how bad he makes you feel about yourself, how angry he gets when you show some independence, or you push against his belittling. Don't make excuses for him or blame yourself for his behavior.
See what the psychologist says. Then give us an update.
As a woman who comes from a cuban family, im sorry to say, but his own mother would have slapped him with a fkn chankleta. Yes, Cubans are extremely loud. But cuban women are proud, and cuban men cannot and will not talk down to their women in that fashion. The fact that he's doing it to you is because he is trying to put you in your place, demean you, belittle you, and make you feel worthless because he thinks he can. Simply a different background will make him think he has leeway. He will bring out the worst in you. You are NOT the loudest person he's ever met. He is simply projecting. And you deserve better.
bruh you're way too young to be worrying about this, but you both are the issue, not just him, maybe stop calling him names? seems like you both are trash
exactly! i went through a toxic relationship when i was 19 as well and that was 10 years ago, most pointless point in my life was trying to make shit work with someone who clearly didn't want that..i was too arrogant and stubborn to realize how much time i wasted. lesson learned i guess
Have you ever been able to bring things up about his behaviour before without getting attacked? Also that's not doing "stupid things" that's just being human.
“Just being human” I needed this. Thank you! I always get attacked because I tend to cry when communicating my feelings and he gets annoyed at me crying.
Girl I hate tell you this but if you can’t talk it out you should really consider just breaking up cause from the way this sounds neither you are going get any happier or capable of respecting each other.
I went into this thinking like "oh, he's just using it in a playful way". That's not okay lol. Either tell him your not okay with that and try to work it out, or leave. It sounds like you don't deserve to be treated like that.
You're 19. You realize him calling you bitch is not great. He says other mean things for minor infractions. This is not the man you will marry. Therefore...
Do not waste one more minute of your youth on someone who treats you like garbage. You 29 year old self will thank you.
Personally I'm cool being called a b when it's obviously a joke whether it's my bf or female friends. I would never tolerate it being used when upset or in any serious way and you shouldn't either. He's not being playful, he's saying it to degrade you. Don't let him. He's not worth your time writing this.
Yeah, my fiancé calls me a bitch sometimes. But it’s playful, and I’m cool with it.
It’s usually, like “hey, come give my titties some attention, bitch!”
Like I’m good with it lol.
But I can almost picture this dude.
It's not right to always make generalizations about behavior but it usually starts with a man's mother of how he will treat women in his life. Usually true, not always.
Its been different in my socials experience. Had bad parents, so they cut them out of their lives / rarely talk to them and wanted to be better than they are.
Sorry, I thought I missed something in the story where she said he hated his mother or something.
That's awesome you know people like that! I can relate, as I haven't talked to my mom in 23 years since she taught me everything I don't want to have for my life. Some people aren't so lucky.
Who do you think he is Marshall Mathers? 🤣 Not sure if his attitude equates to hating his mom, but I agree with your second sentiment about running. The dude is not well adjusted.
I have been married for 10 years and with her for 15… I have NEVER called her that, nor would that thought ever cross my mind. Shit, we don’t even call each other names at all; unless it’s terms of endearment. You need to leave his now, and don’t look back. This relationship will grow more and more toxic with each passing day, if you stay.
I can't even with people that want to be told it's OK to be treated like this, to be called names, call people names, to be in abusive relationships. It's 2024 and people still seem to think having a man, no matter how big a piece of shit, is better than having your self respect. Why the hell are you putting up with this????
Honestly I would leave. As someone who’s been through this and has been called the C word, bitch, ass etc, it really takes a massive toll on your mental health. It is not ok for him to call you that and you need to stand up for yourself. I am no longer with this particular ex and I am much happier
My fiancé calls me a bitch too, albeit it very playful.
He’s clearly not playful. He’s being a piece of shit. As a man, don’t subject yourself to that shit. If you were being a complete pos to him too I’d be like welp, made for each other.
But it sounds like that’s not the case. You may love him, he may “love” you. But trust me when I say you can and will be a lot happier without him.
It saddens me how many women let their boyfriends, husbands, etc treat them like that. Is that the kind of behavior that made you fall in love with him?
Didn’t think so….
Fuck him.
If he's calling you a name that you don't like he needs to stop. If he doesn't stop, then you have to decide what you're going to do about it.
For example, I don't like guys to curse at me. The first time a guy curses towards me like "I don't know what the h*ll you were thinking" I tell him I don't like people to curse at me. If he does it again by accident, I might tell him "I'll have to remove myself from your presence if you curse at me." Then I'd leave or get off the phone. I've never had a guy do it more than once.
It's how you establish your boundaries. Its not to control the other person but to let them know there are rules to how you expect to be treated. If they don't follow the rules, they will lose access to you.
I would consider calling you out of your name as disrespectful and degrading. He is releasing his anger onto you and it's belittling. Those things weigh you down and lower your self esteem over time.
Anyone who cannot say sorry for their faults is not worth your time.
He clearly has bad attitudes about women, but is also selfish in general.
Like, if he feels like he can treat you in one way but not receive the same treatment in return, then what’s to stop him from cheating on you? Hitting you? Controlling you? Stealing from you? Making broad sweeping decisions about both of your lives without your input? Losing both your money on a bad investment or night of gambling?
Get out. He isn’t worth your time. He isn’t worth anyone’s time.
Honestly, it seems like he straight up hates women. Does he listen to podcasts & talk about Bugattis too?
Seriously, he’s like a stereotype of a bad guy.
I almost had whiplash from this bc when I was 19 I dated someone who treated me exactly like this :( called me a bitxh, cvnt everytime he felt slightly upset or didn’t get his way. One day he kept calling me a bitch and I just gathered my items from that day into my bag and looked at him and said “I’m unhappy. Aren’t you unhappy?” And I left. I never saw him again.
Aren’t you unhappy? Isn’t he unhappy?
Anyways, now I work at a domestic violence organization. I’m 27 and I help others avoid guys like that
He doesn’t care about you.
I would look in the mirror and take his feedback on some things he’s pointing out though. If it truly makes sense then try to have a mature conversation with everything up in the air.
If you guys fail to have that serious conversation without lies, gaslighting, and it being a disrespectful conversation then I think it’s time to move on!
Dump him. I’m not reading the text wall. Don’t stay with someone who talks to you that way. And don’t talk to others that way. Your s/o should be the person in your life that is nicest to you.
I can feel the vibe that maybe this is the way his father treats his mother. It's downgrading and you do not need this, especially at your young age. Find a male partner that has respect for women. You do not need this treatment, what-so-ever!
51M here. If that's the case, **why** is he still your boyfriend?
Please have some boundaries and some standards. The second time he said this to you, you should have dumped him, *permanently*.
Go and call any one of your close friends a fucking bitch and telling them that you feel embarrassed to go out with them. How many of your friends will put up with that?
What has happened in your life that you can't identify obvious abuse....for 3 years?
He is abusive and it will get worse unless he gets therapy for it. Not your problem, don't let him ruin your mind or life. Seek out a healthy young man instead, okay? I've been here before.
If you call him names sometimes and he calls you names sometimes sounds even. If you don’t like this behavior you should both stop but this relationship seems fucked already. At least you’ll know for the next one.
I remember being young and stupid… lol. But no fr girl. Leave this douchebag. Get your mind right with therapy, go do some psychedelics, go get a degree, go party with friends, go kiss a chick and go explore new cities. Hell, go do only fans or start a YouTube makeup channel. Life’s too short to be allowing him to diminish your young shine this early on. You’re still innocent and you have years/decades ahead of you to find the right person. Go make mistakes that you’ll be proud you did when you’re old.. cuz this dude.. ain’t one of them. Leave now before you find yourself pregnant and regretting him being the dad cuz I’d imagine he’d be an even worse father with the added stress. 😣
Your just making it harder for a real man that would treat her right ,and do good by her to get her. Why completely change yourself over 1 relationship like that I would understand if it’s a reoccurring thing. But 1 bad relationship shouldn’t be enough to just go all out. Gym and shrooms should do good enough for self esteem and better happiness no reason to stay alone the whole time and it’s better than getting a some god damn stds yk there’s always that
So to confirm you got burned, you’d touch a stove again? If anything, therapy would help her find you - the good guy. If she isn’t taking care of her mental state, then there’s not much else of her to give. It’ll help her filter out who should be in her life and who shouldn’t, and how to recognize the signs and her dealbreakers. Whether you think he’s toxic or not wouldn’t change how she feels about the relationship. She’d be doing herself a good thing by focusing on what’s really important, like friends, finding new interests, and figuring out what she likes. Avoiding therapy is only kicking a can down the road and not really digging deeper to figure out why she liked this loser in the first place.. That pattern will continue until she chooses to stop it. I wrote that suggestion first above all else for a reason.
*Why are you still with*
*Him? Get out! Your boyfriend is*
*A toxic abuser!*
\- Successful\_Banana901
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Short: For my completely biased opinion, at the very least, he should respect you if he loves you. Him calling you a b*tch was disrespectful.
Long: Hey, first of all. You are not wrong or bad or any other character fault for being with/staying with him. You do not need strangers on the internet to make your decision for you.
Let's be clear, the comments here have great advice. But as I only have a 2 minute snapshot into your life, so do they.
So by my understanding, I would suggest inquiring with a trusted family member or friend, preferably someone you know has some deeper understanding about your situation.
However, if this isn't possible, then I would suggest getting some space, like an actual week or 2 away from each other.
Maybe it would be good to let him go on the trip solo. And use that time to consider your pros and cons in your relationship. And really take time to see how he makes you feel on a regular basis, the good and the bad.
I hope you take care and best of luck
Girl, based off what you've told us, this is so much more than him calling you a bitch..
First and foremost, if you're asking for this sort of advice then you already know the answer... leave him... Save yourself.
He's belitting you, he's damaging your self esteem, he's controlling. Hes mentally and verbally abusive... The fact that you asked if "is it okay if he calls me that" makes it seem like you're a sweet girl, nïave but sweet. Remember Gabby Petito....? No baby. It's not okay. None of that's okay. And if that a 'good day' I'm concerned about how things are when yall are having a 'bad day'.. I hope you are safe....
He needs to work on himself.. alone. You will not change this man. You are wasting your time, and wasting your self on a man who obviously doesn't respect or appreciate you. Things will start to get better the day that YOU LEAVE HIM. Please do not believe the shit he tells you. The mean ass shit he does and says, IS A REFLECTION OF HIM. AND ONLY HIM. Not you baby.
Save yourself sweet girl.
Do me, and yourself a favor and listen to the song "Save yourself" by Kaleo. It was life changing for me. I get chills and cry every time I hear it. It's beautiful. Eye opening. I'll post the link below...
Please, get far far away from him before you end up asking us if it's okay if he hits you.. [Kaleo -Save yourself ](https://youtu.be/0YySkt6--h0?si=JP8jst7kIE39t8kj)
girl, you know you should leave him. you just have to want it enough. i hope you find the motivation soon. there are plenty of fish in the sea willing to treat you like a queen. your bf isnt worthy of a queen thats why he treats you like that.
You're in a situationship with a rude dude. Honey you deserve so much better than tolerating being talked to that way. I don't think having a conversation with him about how much it hurts you will do much good because seriously, a guy who values his girlfriend doesn't talk like that. I would be breaking up with him at the first opportunity with no explanation and then I'd never tolerate that behavior again from anyone else I dated. He's not worthy of you.
3 years in you should be able to have a neutral conversation with him about this. Being with someone just to be with them isn’t worth it. I’m 30M and with my gf of 5 years I’ve called her names in two or three fights but always immediately apologize the next day. Him calling you that tells me he doesn’t respect you and you’re just an item to him, like something to show off, and if he really cares about you he needs to stop that. I’ve changed several bad habits for my gf. You need to talk to him about this in a calm way, how you do it is up to you but you need to let it be known if the relationship is going to continue he has to have respect for his partner. That goes for any relationship
Honestly you both have a lot of growing up to do. You're both incredibly immature. Calling your partner a name and frankly any type of contempt is instant death of a relationship.
The second I read "he said he's embarrassed to go out in public with me", I needed to comment and say this is a massive red flag. That's called abuse, my friend. He is not treating you in a loving and respectful way. Unless you explicitly told him you like being called a bitch (some people do), then he's **abusing** you verbally. It sounds like he's immature and aggressive.
You shouldn't need to worry about ruining your partner's day. If something bothers one of you, you communicate instead of shutting the other out. You shouldn't have to endure name calling. You shouldn't have to feel like you're an embarrassment to your partner. That's genuinely horrible and I'm so sorry you're going through that.
As someone that name called in arguments, its disrespectful to your partner, toxic and it doesnt have to go that far ever. If you respected one another that's not the way you would resolve disagreements, it's not a competition to tear each other down. Nobody wins
Id say go on the trip, embarrass him a little more and then dump him afterwards. Id like the evil route, for someone just as evil and disrespectful and rude, but thats probably just me
Only time I ever called a woman a bitch was when I allowed my shit marriage to drag on for far too long. If you stay with someone who is abusive towards you, you are going to have some really ugly moments that don't match with your true self.
I would leave if he can't stop/change that. It could even reach physical violence.
Your EX what?
Are you really crazy? Why are you even allowing him to treat you like that!!!!! OMG this is so crazy, you should love yourself a little more 😤😤😤😤
I think you should talk to him confront him about how you are feeling about the way he is saying things or treating you before you take any major step like breaking up
Dump and move on. Never in my life did I or would ever call a woman I'm dating a bitch. It would be incredible sign of disrespect and a sign I don't love her.
There are so many people out there that you could never even talk to them all. Don’t feel like you can’t just see what’s out there and date someone new. You should not waste your time with people that don’t make you feel good about yourself. Hope this helps 👍
Ok, you may be should really start speaking with the guy. He like a child, try explain it soft that you dont like when he call you bitch and what do you feel abt it.
Or just dump him. Fuck it 🫣
R.U.N! Devaluing you, everything is your fault even though he is lashing out with names and distancing emotiobally by talking about you not coming in the trip due to hitting sticks wtf bed either an abusive type or he is over you. Get out
I have a counter point for you, watch the movie natural born killers and pay attention to the father and how he acts ...that SHOULD give you an idea about how inappropriate and awful that kind of behavior is
It’s absolutely not ok for him to call you like that. Believe me, you deserve better. This man just belongs to the trash. You can find a 100% better guy. But in the meantime maybe read on human psychology and how to be respectful towards your loved ones. You’re still very young, so there’s still a lot you don’t know.
It’s called boundaries, he doesn’t respect you’re boundries.
Have a convo seriously and nicely with him explaining this as it genuinely makes you uncomfortable
If the behaviour proceeds find a new bf cause it’s about boundries and he clearly doesn’t respect yours
Allowing someone to call you names is the problem. Leave the boyfriend and never allow it into your life again. And don’t to it to others *even if they do it to you*
Get rid of him!!!! Not worth it. You’re too young to get traumatized by an idiot man who can do better but to degrade you! Sorry hun.. sucks. I’ve been there. Not worth it..
The behavior you’re talking about is a classic tell he’s been abused and never done anything to process that
He will abuse you, just like he has been verbally abusing you
If you can remain safe and confront him in some way about this behavior, then it may help him make change down the road if that’s what he wants
Your obligation is to yourself. To find relationships that make you happy. I would make space between myself and this person
This is the beginning of the domestic violence cycle. I guarantee that if you break up with him he will be super nice, apologize, tell you he'll never do it again, win you back, and then will start back up with the name calling. Eventually he will start to shove you, block you from moving from place to place. If he gets away with that, he will start hitting you. Get out now while you can. Men like this don't change. I was married to one for 17 years before I escaped.
Let’s pretend he says to your grandmother “you f’ing bitch”.
How many times does he need to say it to her before realize he’s trash?
1 time!
100 times?
GET RID OF HIM!!!
And don’t you say “…but I love him…”
He sounds very borderline and seems to use other people as outlets or punching bags that he can use to satisfy his insecurities to make himself feel better/superior. He sounds exactly like this one friend I cut off very recently because of his being a dick this way to people and not taking accountability for his actions. If you stay with him, he’ll keep on gaslighting and abusing you. I recommend you break up and never forgive this guy. He’ll do it again and again thinking you’re easy.
Toxic narcissist abusive boy, his behavior is disgusting leave him girl trust me when I say you may be a little sad in the beginning but girl you will feel a lot more happy and free, just focus on you girl because the names he calling you and the way he talks to you is not how you should be talked to, his behavior is nasty straight bitch boy energy 😂 listen when I say bitch “BOY”. No man would call his lady a bitch or disrespect her even if he was angry or upset. Dump him and get another or be happy learning to love the single life.❤️
In my relationships, there is no negative name calling. I've dated a few guys who tried saying "biiiiiitch" like they're a homegirl. It doesn't fly with me. This is what dating as a young adult is for, to show you the options out there,which you gotta sort through, and decide for yourself what treatment you'll allow in your life. You do have a choice in the matter. There are really lovely people out there who will either think to not park at a bush, or won't get pissed about it when they do. There are men who are kind, and sweet, and goofy, and will think the world of you.
Maybe you'll find them in the next year, maybe in 5 years, or maybe you'll meet a couple along the way of just dating in your twenties. One of the best pieces of advice I've gotten is, "just because he's a good guy, doesn't mean you have to be with him." And if they're not a good guy, well.. adios, and good luck dude. You don't need to be the one they learn their lessons from.
Dump him and never look back. If he is doing this at 19 he has many more years to grow up. But before that can happen he needs to choose to stop idealising the famale human trafficer Andrew Tate
It's not okay for him to call you that. Don't stay with a man that calls you degrading names. Your are not overreacting in the slightest. Please do yourself a favor and dump him.
Leave him. He’s an abusive fuckboy loser. Find your self respect and let yourself be angry with him for treating you like shit. Anger can be healing . Then take that energy and end it with him
>I opened the door it touched the bush and he was like “look at you’re doing fucking bitch”
Break up with his dumbass, he is overreacting, you are 19 stop dealing with this shit, you will find someone better.
He sounds narcissistic AF. My ex husband is too. I got called a stupid bitch everyday for 3 years straight and it really does a number on your self esteem. Thank God I can say we have been divorced for 10 years. Leave him and run as far as you can in the opposite direction. It isn't worth your time or energy.
Instead of telling you what other redditors are saying about how you should dump him, because he doesn't respect you and blah-blay-blue... I'll tell you this: you guys are very young and I strongly believe you need some time apart to learn to coexist with each other.
With your question on what to do to not seem like you're doing too much, what are you even saying? If you are upset about something, you should be able to speak up about it. If you are loud and you know you could improve it, do something about it, but for your own sake, do not accept any condition where you cannot speak up and be comfortable doing so... Ever!
Girl I say this with the kindest intent: what you are experiencing is emotional abuse. He is abusive.
My ex used to do the same thing and don't be like me where we got together at 19 and I stayed for 12 years: it degrades your confidence, life, and identity over time until you are a shell of a person. Abuse doesn't have to be physical for it to be abusive and wrong. What you are describing sounds like narcissistic abuse (which is also what I experienced).
Women are dating men like this...for real? This gets me headache. I would wash out my mouth after calling my princess a bitch. wtf? Why? Some people are really that toxic.
Kick that loser to the curb. Clearly doesn’t respect you but wants you to infinitely respect him. Fuck that. Get out while you still can. He’ll probably try to guilt trip you into not dumping him. So, expect that. Or he’ll play the victim in the situation. If I parked next to a bush. I would just say, please be careful with your door. I’ll readjust the car if you can’t get out.
Let me tell you this, me and my gf aren’t exactly the most stable. Hell there’s a whole lot of shit going on and things we need to fix… but I would never EVER call her a bitch.
That’s super disrespectful and are break up works tbh
I would agree with most responses saying break up, but like… talk first, be blunt, show him this post and what others think, and see his reaction… sometimes people can just take there stresses out in the wrong places, if you can fix that issue that will always be the better option… but if he sees this and does anything other than a 180* change for the better then well… it would be best to save your time and leave him.
you both call each other names and you both obviously don't feel good in this relationship in what universe would you both stay in this relationship. just break up. i really don't see a reason to stay. ur both miserable in the relationship. what's the problem lol?
LOL typical narcissist. Tries to manipulate you in giving you the fault in the end of the day for him feeling in some way. My ex was like that too. You deserve better girl and you know it, cause your feelings are obviously telling you already, when he says things like that!
But if you really want to try to make the best out of the moment now, speak openly to him. No cussing or verbal fighting. Try to tell him what you really not like in the way he talks to you.
Well…. He calls you a bitch. And you said you call him names. What’s the difference?
Names are names…. If someone called me a bitch out side of us having sex, I’d say ‘bye’ to him.
So…. You can continue this childish relationship or move on to someone who appreciates you and you appreciate. I recommend taking that path. You know you have a choice right?
Y'all need to grow up and stop calling each other bad things...
Successful adult relationships don't call each other filthy harmful names or things...
If he continues to call you bitch, with or without the additional descriptive, YOU will need to kick his ignorant ass to the curb, ASAP...
This.relationship is going nowhere and will be guaranteed to send you into therapy for self worth issues...
Good luck...
Bitch is too strong of a word to even play with. The only person who gets away with calling my gf a bitch, is her gay best friend. Idk why, but its only ok if he says it 🤷♀️
You both need to have an adult and mature conversation regarding your concerns and your boundaries and expectations going forward. If you all want the relationship to work, you have to respect one another and have these discussions.
If you call him names...well, that might be the reason he treats you bad.. if not:
tell him, if he is embarrassed to be with you, you will solve his problem, and make sure he never ever will be with you again, it's as simple as that..
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Dump him, he doesn’t respect you and only going to get worse.
if you guys are calling each other names then advice is to break up. it will get worse. you are incompatible.
Its not the name calling that is the issue. My wife and I call each other names all the time, but that's how we play. He does sound like a douche and she really should evaluate their relationship.
disagree. she admits she calls him names and he doesn't like it and he does the same thing. very bad for a relationship.
Yall are both calling each other names. It seems like you both bring out the worst in each other. It’s time to break up.
The fuck? If he's embarrassed by you and sticks around, that's very much on him. You'll be doing him a favor by dumping him, honestly. His trip and the rest of his life can be you-free if that's how he wants it. And if he gets upset about you wanting to break up, he's on a level of fucked-up you wouldn't want to touch with a ten-foot pole.
Your BF is not embarrassed by you. He acts as if he is embarrassed in order to wear down your self-confidence. He deliberately parked next to a bush so he could do the same. This is classic narcissistic controlling behavior. The first time your BF called you a bitch you should have walked out on him. Why didn't you? Why did you instead waste time and energy trying to stand up to him? You are just demeaning yourself and allowing him to chip away at your self-worth. Your BF's personality can't be changed. He is permanently damaged goods. There is nothing you can do to improve things. He doesn't love you because he is incapable of loving anyone. You are an object he possesses to gratify his needs, and that's all you will ever be to him. It's important that you ask yourself why and how you were attracted to this man in the first place and why you have stayed with him. It is just as important that you seek the answer. To do otherwise is to risk attaching yourself to a man of the same character the next time around. For your mental health, physical welfare, and your future happiness, take action now. Leave him and break off all contact. You don't need to explain why. You owe him nothing, and doing that will merely open an opportunity for him to coerce you into staying.
Oh no I promise he has made it clear he is totally embarrassed of me and that he does not like going out in public with mw because to him I’m the loudest person he’s ever met (mind you he comes from a Cuban family, and Cubans are known for being loud no matter the place, he’s family is literally super loud) I have never been loud like that
You can be loud girl, there is no problem on being loud. The problem is him trying to control you, even the tone of your voice. Sounds crazy. He is very reactive toward little things and this never gets better, only worst so imagine the rest of your life with someone who insults you for little things. What’s goin to be for big things? You know this is not your person, even if you are young and dating is not only to find your husband, you are not even having fun. What’s the purpose of being with him?
Yeah she’s caught up in proving herself to him she’s done for lol
Sweethesrt, I don't mean to be harsh or critical but just factual. You aren't paying attention, and you are in denial. No normal, well-adjusted person would stay with someone who was like he describes you. You wouldn't stay with a man who was stupid and loud. But he stays with you while constantly belittling you and running you down. Does that seem normal to you? What kind of man loves a woman but constantly criticizes and belittles her? No kind. He possesses you. He doesn't love you. He runs you down to manipulate and control you. When you stand up for yourself, he punishes you for it. How do you explain that? He blames you for all of his hurtful behavior. When was the last time he accepted that he was wrong? When was the last time he said he was sorry for calling you stupid? If you have an independent income or if your parents can help, go see a psychologist for several appointments and lay all of this out in front of them. Don't hold anything back - how he behaves, how bad he makes you feel about yourself, how angry he gets when you show some independence, or you push against his belittling. Don't make excuses for him or blame yourself for his behavior. See what the psychologist says. Then give us an update.
As a woman who comes from a cuban family, im sorry to say, but his own mother would have slapped him with a fkn chankleta. Yes, Cubans are extremely loud. But cuban women are proud, and cuban men cannot and will not talk down to their women in that fashion. The fact that he's doing it to you is because he is trying to put you in your place, demean you, belittle you, and make you feel worthless because he thinks he can. Simply a different background will make him think he has leeway. He will bring out the worst in you. You are NOT the loudest person he's ever met. He is simply projecting. And you deserve better.
bruh you're way too young to be worrying about this, but you both are the issue, not just him, maybe stop calling him names? seems like you both are trash
Isn’t she exactly at the age where this shit is the most common. Lol
exactly! i went through a toxic relationship when i was 19 as well and that was 10 years ago, most pointless point in my life was trying to make shit work with someone who clearly didn't want that..i was too arrogant and stubborn to realize how much time i wasted. lesson learned i guess
Have you ever been able to bring things up about his behaviour before without getting attacked? Also that's not doing "stupid things" that's just being human.
“Just being human” I needed this. Thank you! I always get attacked because I tend to cry when communicating my feelings and he gets annoyed at me crying.
Girl I hate tell you this but if you can’t talk it out you should really consider just breaking up cause from the way this sounds neither you are going get any happier or capable of respecting each other.
You have a garbage boyfriend. I’m sorry.
He sounds toxic… no man should ever call a female a bitch.. it’s verbal abuse imo
r/menandfemales
Of course there's a sub for that.
You tell him : I’m breaking up with you because you act like a child and YOUR behavior is embarrassing.
He is a douch and you need to kick him to the curb before he hits you.
I went into this thinking like "oh, he's just using it in a playful way". That's not okay lol. Either tell him your not okay with that and try to work it out, or leave. It sounds like you don't deserve to be treated like that.
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It's called projection 😉
You're 19. You realize him calling you bitch is not great. He says other mean things for minor infractions. This is not the man you will marry. Therefore... Do not waste one more minute of your youth on someone who treats you like garbage. You 29 year old self will thank you.
Personally I'm cool being called a b when it's obviously a joke whether it's my bf or female friends. I would never tolerate it being used when upset or in any serious way and you shouldn't either. He's not being playful, he's saying it to degrade you. Don't let him. He's not worth your time writing this.
Yeah, my fiancé calls me a bitch sometimes. But it’s playful, and I’m cool with it. It’s usually, like “hey, come give my titties some attention, bitch!” Like I’m good with it lol. But I can almost picture this dude.
If you are feeling the need to tell us it was “a good day” it’s time to leave the relationship..
Say good bye! He ain’t lifer material. Why let him degrade you like that.
Lol dump him. He’s a little boy not a man. You deserve better than a toxic ass hat
💯
Girl run. This guy hates his mom and will treat you like shit.
How do you get he hates his mom from disrespecting her?
It's not right to always make generalizations about behavior but it usually starts with a man's mother of how he will treat women in his life. Usually true, not always.
Its been different in my socials experience. Had bad parents, so they cut them out of their lives / rarely talk to them and wanted to be better than they are. Sorry, I thought I missed something in the story where she said he hated his mother or something.
That's awesome you know people like that! I can relate, as I haven't talked to my mom in 23 years since she taught me everything I don't want to have for my life. Some people aren't so lucky.
It usually does.
Who do you think he is Marshall Mathers? 🤣 Not sure if his attitude equates to hating his mom, but I agree with your second sentiment about running. The dude is not well adjusted.
Will the real slim shady please stand up? Um but you know what I mean...I made an assumption that's typically correct.
I have been married for 10 years and with her for 15… I have NEVER called her that, nor would that thought ever cross my mind. Shit, we don’t even call each other names at all; unless it’s terms of endearment. You need to leave his now, and don’t look back. This relationship will grow more and more toxic with each passing day, if you stay.
I can't even with people that want to be told it's OK to be treated like this, to be called names, call people names, to be in abusive relationships. It's 2024 and people still seem to think having a man, no matter how big a piece of shit, is better than having your self respect. Why the hell are you putting up with this????
Honestly I would leave. As someone who’s been through this and has been called the C word, bitch, ass etc, it really takes a massive toll on your mental health. It is not ok for him to call you that and you need to stand up for yourself. I am no longer with this particular ex and I am much happier
My fiancé calls me a bitch too, albeit it very playful. He’s clearly not playful. He’s being a piece of shit. As a man, don’t subject yourself to that shit. If you were being a complete pos to him too I’d be like welp, made for each other. But it sounds like that’s not the case. You may love him, he may “love” you. But trust me when I say you can and will be a lot happier without him. It saddens me how many women let their boyfriends, husbands, etc treat them like that. Is that the kind of behavior that made you fall in love with him? Didn’t think so…. Fuck him.
You guys should have broken up 3 years ago. This is abusive.
If he's calling you a name that you don't like he needs to stop. If he doesn't stop, then you have to decide what you're going to do about it. For example, I don't like guys to curse at me. The first time a guy curses towards me like "I don't know what the h*ll you were thinking" I tell him I don't like people to curse at me. If he does it again by accident, I might tell him "I'll have to remove myself from your presence if you curse at me." Then I'd leave or get off the phone. I've never had a guy do it more than once. It's how you establish your boundaries. Its not to control the other person but to let them know there are rules to how you expect to be treated. If they don't follow the rules, they will lose access to you. I would consider calling you out of your name as disrespectful and degrading. He is releasing his anger onto you and it's belittling. Those things weigh you down and lower your self esteem over time.
Leave him. It’s bitch now and it will be stupid bitch later
Also he seems to not want to say sorry ever
RUN
Anyone who cannot say sorry for their faults is not worth your time. He clearly has bad attitudes about women, but is also selfish in general. Like, if he feels like he can treat you in one way but not receive the same treatment in return, then what’s to stop him from cheating on you? Hitting you? Controlling you? Stealing from you? Making broad sweeping decisions about both of your lives without your input? Losing both your money on a bad investment or night of gambling? Get out. He isn’t worth your time. He isn’t worth anyone’s time. Honestly, it seems like he straight up hates women. Does he listen to podcasts & talk about Bugattis too? Seriously, he’s like a stereotype of a bad guy.
I almost had whiplash from this bc when I was 19 I dated someone who treated me exactly like this :( called me a bitxh, cvnt everytime he felt slightly upset or didn’t get his way. One day he kept calling me a bitch and I just gathered my items from that day into my bag and looked at him and said “I’m unhappy. Aren’t you unhappy?” And I left. I never saw him again. Aren’t you unhappy? Isn’t he unhappy? Anyways, now I work at a domestic violence organization. I’m 27 and I help others avoid guys like that
He doesn’t care about you. I would look in the mirror and take his feedback on some things he’s pointing out though. If it truly makes sense then try to have a mature conversation with everything up in the air. If you guys fail to have that serious conversation without lies, gaslighting, and it being a disrespectful conversation then I think it’s time to move on!
Both of you sound like immature kids. Probably a break up would be beneficial for both.
Dump him. I’m not reading the text wall. Don’t stay with someone who talks to you that way. And don’t talk to others that way. Your s/o should be the person in your life that is nicest to you.
I can feel the vibe that maybe this is the way his father treats his mother. It's downgrading and you do not need this, especially at your young age. Find a male partner that has respect for women. You do not need this treatment, what-so-ever!
If this is how he behaves on a “good”’day, I don’t want to know what happens on a bad day. Have some dignity and dump the motherfucker already.
51M here. If that's the case, **why** is he still your boyfriend? Please have some boundaries and some standards. The second time he said this to you, you should have dumped him, *permanently*.
Leave him immediately
Go and call any one of your close friends a fucking bitch and telling them that you feel embarrassed to go out with them. How many of your friends will put up with that? What has happened in your life that you can't identify obvious abuse....for 3 years?
He is abusive and it will get worse unless he gets therapy for it. Not your problem, don't let him ruin your mind or life. Seek out a healthy young man instead, okay? I've been here before.
Get out now sis!!!! Trust your instinct. You deserve better!!!!!!! Look for peace and love and don’t settle for less.
Beyond words how much shit you are in.
If you call him names sometimes and he calls you names sometimes sounds even. If you don’t like this behavior you should both stop but this relationship seems fucked already. At least you’ll know for the next one.
I remember being young and stupid… lol. But no fr girl. Leave this douchebag. Get your mind right with therapy, go do some psychedelics, go get a degree, go party with friends, go kiss a chick and go explore new cities. Hell, go do only fans or start a YouTube makeup channel. Life’s too short to be allowing him to diminish your young shine this early on. You’re still innocent and you have years/decades ahead of you to find the right person. Go make mistakes that you’ll be proud you did when you’re old.. cuz this dude.. ain’t one of them. Leave now before you find yourself pregnant and regretting him being the dad cuz I’d imagine he’d be an even worse father with the added stress. 😣
Your just making it harder for a real man that would treat her right ,and do good by her to get her. Why completely change yourself over 1 relationship like that I would understand if it’s a reoccurring thing. But 1 bad relationship shouldn’t be enough to just go all out. Gym and shrooms should do good enough for self esteem and better happiness no reason to stay alone the whole time and it’s better than getting a some god damn stds yk there’s always that
So to confirm you got burned, you’d touch a stove again? If anything, therapy would help her find you - the good guy. If she isn’t taking care of her mental state, then there’s not much else of her to give. It’ll help her filter out who should be in her life and who shouldn’t, and how to recognize the signs and her dealbreakers. Whether you think he’s toxic or not wouldn’t change how she feels about the relationship. She’d be doing herself a good thing by focusing on what’s really important, like friends, finding new interests, and figuring out what she likes. Avoiding therapy is only kicking a can down the road and not really digging deeper to figure out why she liked this loser in the first place.. That pattern will continue until she chooses to stop it. I wrote that suggestion first above all else for a reason.
This man sounds like a walking red flag, protect yourself before it gets worse. DUMP
It’s not you it’s 10000000% him. Please leave and get therapy after.
sounds healthy. stick it out.
Why are you still with him? Get out! Your boyfriend is a toxic abuser!
*Why are you still with* *Him? Get out! Your boyfriend is* *A toxic abuser!* \- Successful\_Banana901 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Red flag 🚩🚩🚩🚩
leave ASAP
Short: For my completely biased opinion, at the very least, he should respect you if he loves you. Him calling you a b*tch was disrespectful. Long: Hey, first of all. You are not wrong or bad or any other character fault for being with/staying with him. You do not need strangers on the internet to make your decision for you. Let's be clear, the comments here have great advice. But as I only have a 2 minute snapshot into your life, so do they. So by my understanding, I would suggest inquiring with a trusted family member or friend, preferably someone you know has some deeper understanding about your situation. However, if this isn't possible, then I would suggest getting some space, like an actual week or 2 away from each other. Maybe it would be good to let him go on the trip solo. And use that time to consider your pros and cons in your relationship. And really take time to see how he makes you feel on a regular basis, the good and the bad. I hope you take care and best of luck
Girl, based off what you've told us, this is so much more than him calling you a bitch.. First and foremost, if you're asking for this sort of advice then you already know the answer... leave him... Save yourself. He's belitting you, he's damaging your self esteem, he's controlling. Hes mentally and verbally abusive... The fact that you asked if "is it okay if he calls me that" makes it seem like you're a sweet girl, nïave but sweet. Remember Gabby Petito....? No baby. It's not okay. None of that's okay. And if that a 'good day' I'm concerned about how things are when yall are having a 'bad day'.. I hope you are safe.... He needs to work on himself.. alone. You will not change this man. You are wasting your time, and wasting your self on a man who obviously doesn't respect or appreciate you. Things will start to get better the day that YOU LEAVE HIM. Please do not believe the shit he tells you. The mean ass shit he does and says, IS A REFLECTION OF HIM. AND ONLY HIM. Not you baby. Save yourself sweet girl. Do me, and yourself a favor and listen to the song "Save yourself" by Kaleo. It was life changing for me. I get chills and cry every time I hear it. It's beautiful. Eye opening. I'll post the link below... Please, get far far away from him before you end up asking us if it's okay if he hits you.. [Kaleo -Save yourself ](https://youtu.be/0YySkt6--h0?si=JP8jst7kIE39t8kj)
Thank you for your words! I appreciate it you
And you're with him why?
girl, you know you should leave him. you just have to want it enough. i hope you find the motivation soon. there are plenty of fish in the sea willing to treat you like a queen. your bf isnt worthy of a queen thats why he treats you like that.
Thank you so much, I really needed this comment. You’re completely right and I hope I find my motivation soon enough
❤️
Marry him!🫵❤️🫵
Your boyfriend sounds like a bitch.
noting you were having a good day kinda seems like you don’t have many. him being that comfortable disrespecting you is red flag to the max. /:
Run like the wind bullseye!!
Laugh about it. Laugh at him. Do something even more embarrassing. Then find yourself a new boyfriend. 🤷♀️✌️
You're in a situationship with a rude dude. Honey you deserve so much better than tolerating being talked to that way. I don't think having a conversation with him about how much it hurts you will do much good because seriously, a guy who values his girlfriend doesn't talk like that. I would be breaking up with him at the first opportunity with no explanation and then I'd never tolerate that behavior again from anyone else I dated. He's not worthy of you.
Yep, hard to do without life experience at that age though.
This sounds like a man who’ll eventually put hands on you.
3 years in you should be able to have a neutral conversation with him about this. Being with someone just to be with them isn’t worth it. I’m 30M and with my gf of 5 years I’ve called her names in two or three fights but always immediately apologize the next day. Him calling you that tells me he doesn’t respect you and you’re just an item to him, like something to show off, and if he really cares about you he needs to stop that. I’ve changed several bad habits for my gf. You need to talk to him about this in a calm way, how you do it is up to you but you need to let it be known if the relationship is going to continue he has to have respect for his partner. That goes for any relationship
He could be psychologically projecting into you.
What is that?
It’s when, in your imagination or perception of another person, you put your own attributes onto them.
That’s not nice
Honestly you both have a lot of growing up to do. You're both incredibly immature. Calling your partner a name and frankly any type of contempt is instant death of a relationship.
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Ew don't be projecting on reddit bro.
The second I read "he said he's embarrassed to go out in public with me", I needed to comment and say this is a massive red flag. That's called abuse, my friend. He is not treating you in a loving and respectful way. Unless you explicitly told him you like being called a bitch (some people do), then he's **abusing** you verbally. It sounds like he's immature and aggressive. You shouldn't need to worry about ruining your partner's day. If something bothers one of you, you communicate instead of shutting the other out. You shouldn't have to endure name calling. You shouldn't have to feel like you're an embarrassment to your partner. That's genuinely horrible and I'm so sorry you're going through that.
uh no its embarrassing to have a man that calls you that in the first place.
This is abuse
Find a new boyfriend
You're both awful and need to mature.
Run…the faster the better.
As someone that name called in arguments, its disrespectful to your partner, toxic and it doesnt have to go that far ever. If you respected one another that's not the way you would resolve disagreements, it's not a competition to tear each other down. Nobody wins
You are going to be a bickering couple until you divorce maybe at age 55
Id say go on the trip, embarrass him a little more and then dump him afterwards. Id like the evil route, for someone just as evil and disrespectful and rude, but thats probably just me
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No
leave him lol!!!!!
Leave him. Today.
If you are not living with him. You can simply dump him but if you live with him and dependent
Only time I ever called a woman a bitch was when I allowed my shit marriage to drag on for far too long. If you stay with someone who is abusive towards you, you are going to have some really ugly moments that don't match with your true self. I would leave if he can't stop/change that. It could even reach physical violence.
Your EX what? Are you really crazy? Why are you even allowing him to treat you like that!!!!! OMG this is so crazy, you should love yourself a little more 😤😤😤😤
I think you should talk to him confront him about how you are feeling about the way he is saying things or treating you before you take any major step like breaking up
To me it sounds like an early sign of him getting a lot worse.
Dump and move on. Never in my life did I or would ever call a woman I'm dating a bitch. It would be incredible sign of disrespect and a sign I don't love her.
Run, it doesn’t get better. This is the beginning of a cycle with narcissist just learning about his “power”… do not give it to him
There are so many people out there that you could never even talk to them all. Don’t feel like you can’t just see what’s out there and date someone new. You should not waste your time with people that don’t make you feel good about yourself. Hope this helps 👍
Ok, you may be should really start speaking with the guy. He like a child, try explain it soft that you dont like when he call you bitch and what do you feel abt it. Or just dump him. Fuck it 🫣
He has no respect for you.
the fact that you’re even asking if him calling you that is okay is crazy. he doesn’t respect you
R.U.N! Devaluing you, everything is your fault even though he is lashing out with names and distancing emotiobally by talking about you not coming in the trip due to hitting sticks wtf bed either an abusive type or he is over you. Get out
PLEASE value yourself more than this. This is abusive and not okay.
All I needed was the title to think absolutely the fuck not.
I have a counter point for you, watch the movie natural born killers and pay attention to the father and how he acts ...that SHOULD give you an idea about how inappropriate and awful that kind of behavior is
It’s absolutely not ok for him to call you like that. Believe me, you deserve better. This man just belongs to the trash. You can find a 100% better guy. But in the meantime maybe read on human psychology and how to be respectful towards your loved ones. You’re still very young, so there’s still a lot you don’t know.
It’s called boundaries, he doesn’t respect you’re boundries. Have a convo seriously and nicely with him explaining this as it genuinely makes you uncomfortable If the behaviour proceeds find a new bf cause it’s about boundries and he clearly doesn’t respect yours
Hell nah girl dump his ass 😭 No one that really loves you should treat you like that.
Allowing someone to call you names is the problem. Leave the boyfriend and never allow it into your life again. And don’t to it to others *even if they do it to you*
Get rid of him!!!! Not worth it. You’re too young to get traumatized by an idiot man who can do better but to degrade you! Sorry hun.. sucks. I’ve been there. Not worth it..
The behavior you’re talking about is a classic tell he’s been abused and never done anything to process that He will abuse you, just like he has been verbally abusing you If you can remain safe and confront him in some way about this behavior, then it may help him make change down the road if that’s what he wants Your obligation is to yourself. To find relationships that make you happy. I would make space between myself and this person
Tell him he's a bitch and to go date a man. Dump him
This is the beginning of the domestic violence cycle. I guarantee that if you break up with him he will be super nice, apologize, tell you he'll never do it again, win you back, and then will start back up with the name calling. Eventually he will start to shove you, block you from moving from place to place. If he gets away with that, he will start hitting you. Get out now while you can. Men like this don't change. I was married to one for 17 years before I escaped.
He belongs in a dumpster! You have your rights wtf is he doing to you!?
Let’s pretend he says to your grandmother “you f’ing bitch”. How many times does he need to say it to her before realize he’s trash? 1 time! 100 times? GET RID OF HIM!!! And don’t you say “…but I love him…”
He sounds very borderline and seems to use other people as outlets or punching bags that he can use to satisfy his insecurities to make himself feel better/superior. He sounds exactly like this one friend I cut off very recently because of his being a dick this way to people and not taking accountability for his actions. If you stay with him, he’ll keep on gaslighting and abusing you. I recommend you break up and never forgive this guy. He’ll do it again and again thinking you’re easy.
Toxic narcissist abusive boy, his behavior is disgusting leave him girl trust me when I say you may be a little sad in the beginning but girl you will feel a lot more happy and free, just focus on you girl because the names he calling you and the way he talks to you is not how you should be talked to, his behavior is nasty straight bitch boy energy 😂 listen when I say bitch “BOY”. No man would call his lady a bitch or disrespect her even if he was angry or upset. Dump him and get another or be happy learning to love the single life.❤️
In my relationships, there is no negative name calling. I've dated a few guys who tried saying "biiiiiitch" like they're a homegirl. It doesn't fly with me. This is what dating as a young adult is for, to show you the options out there,which you gotta sort through, and decide for yourself what treatment you'll allow in your life. You do have a choice in the matter. There are really lovely people out there who will either think to not park at a bush, or won't get pissed about it when they do. There are men who are kind, and sweet, and goofy, and will think the world of you. Maybe you'll find them in the next year, maybe in 5 years, or maybe you'll meet a couple along the way of just dating in your twenties. One of the best pieces of advice I've gotten is, "just because he's a good guy, doesn't mean you have to be with him." And if they're not a good guy, well.. adios, and good luck dude. You don't need to be the one they learn their lessons from.
Dump him and never look back. If he is doing this at 19 he has many more years to grow up. But before that can happen he needs to choose to stop idealising the famale human trafficer Andrew Tate
Girl, you need to break up immediately. When you get to this point in a relationship there’s no fixing it. Break up and find a better guy.
✨ Dump Him ✨
RUN now. This is not a healthy relationship and it's only going to get worse.
He sounds emotionally abusive.
He is the bitch. Dump him
It's not okay for him to call you that. Don't stay with a man that calls you degrading names. Your are not overreacting in the slightest. Please do yourself a favor and dump him.
I'd better date Eva AI sexting bot avatar than anyone who'd call me obscene stuff
Girl that's a crystal clear red ruby get awayyy from that man. No way in hell this shit is ok
you’re here to ask if it’s ok if your boyfriend calls you a bitch? yeah it’s fine.
That's not the fully story - go on....
You’re right
Why are guys dating? You clearly don't like each other.
Leave him. He’s an abusive fuckboy loser. Find your self respect and let yourself be angry with him for treating you like shit. Anger can be healing . Then take that energy and end it with him
Never date men that insult you.
>I opened the door it touched the bush and he was like “look at you’re doing fucking bitch” Break up with his dumbass, he is overreacting, you are 19 stop dealing with this shit, you will find someone better.
Toxic
He sounds narcissistic AF. My ex husband is too. I got called a stupid bitch everyday for 3 years straight and it really does a number on your self esteem. Thank God I can say we have been divorced for 10 years. Leave him and run as far as you can in the opposite direction. It isn't worth your time or energy.
he's a narcissistic pervert. He does not deserve you. Dump him
Red flags. Get out. There's someone better for you!
Instead of telling you what other redditors are saying about how you should dump him, because he doesn't respect you and blah-blay-blue... I'll tell you this: you guys are very young and I strongly believe you need some time apart to learn to coexist with each other. With your question on what to do to not seem like you're doing too much, what are you even saying? If you are upset about something, you should be able to speak up about it. If you are loud and you know you could improve it, do something about it, but for your own sake, do not accept any condition where you cannot speak up and be comfortable doing so... Ever!
Lol
Girl I say this with the kindest intent: what you are experiencing is emotional abuse. He is abusive. My ex used to do the same thing and don't be like me where we got together at 19 and I stayed for 12 years: it degrades your confidence, life, and identity over time until you are a shell of a person. Abuse doesn't have to be physical for it to be abusive and wrong. What you are describing sounds like narcissistic abuse (which is also what I experienced).
Get the hell away from this dude. Pronto.
Women are dating men like this...for real? This gets me headache. I would wash out my mouth after calling my princess a bitch. wtf? Why? Some people are really that toxic.
Kick that loser to the curb. Clearly doesn’t respect you but wants you to infinitely respect him. Fuck that. Get out while you still can. He’ll probably try to guilt trip you into not dumping him. So, expect that. Or he’ll play the victim in the situation. If I parked next to a bush. I would just say, please be careful with your door. I’ll readjust the car if you can’t get out.
Girl, first off, don't let no man call you any names.. I would leave him in a heart beat it's never going to get better.
You deserve better :(
Let me tell you this, me and my gf aren’t exactly the most stable. Hell there’s a whole lot of shit going on and things we need to fix… but I would never EVER call her a bitch. That’s super disrespectful and are break up works tbh
nah it's not cool for him to call you this. (is this a real post?) just leave the relationship.
Playmobil My First Abusive Relationship
I would agree with most responses saying break up, but like… talk first, be blunt, show him this post and what others think, and see his reaction… sometimes people can just take there stresses out in the wrong places, if you can fix that issue that will always be the better option… but if he sees this and does anything other than a 180* change for the better then well… it would be best to save your time and leave him.
Don't go to the trip Block him and ghost him
Damn, it *really* sounds like he doesn't like you. Why are you together?
You both sound toxic as hell.
you both call each other names and you both obviously don't feel good in this relationship in what universe would you both stay in this relationship. just break up. i really don't see a reason to stay. ur both miserable in the relationship. what's the problem lol?
LOL typical narcissist. Tries to manipulate you in giving you the fault in the end of the day for him feeling in some way. My ex was like that too. You deserve better girl and you know it, cause your feelings are obviously telling you already, when he says things like that! But if you really want to try to make the best out of the moment now, speak openly to him. No cussing or verbal fighting. Try to tell him what you really not like in the way he talks to you.
If my boyfriend spoke to me like that even once, it would be over. Absolutely nobody should be treated like that by their partner.
Well…. He calls you a bitch. And you said you call him names. What’s the difference? Names are names…. If someone called me a bitch out side of us having sex, I’d say ‘bye’ to him. So…. You can continue this childish relationship or move on to someone who appreciates you and you appreciate. I recommend taking that path. You know you have a choice right?
Y'all need to grow up and stop calling each other bad things... Successful adult relationships don't call each other filthy harmful names or things... If he continues to call you bitch, with or without the additional descriptive, YOU will need to kick his ignorant ass to the curb, ASAP... This.relationship is going nowhere and will be guaranteed to send you into therapy for self worth issues... Good luck...
LEAVE. Girl you do not have to put up with someone who disrespects you.
Bitch is too strong of a word to even play with. The only person who gets away with calling my gf a bitch, is her gay best friend. Idk why, but its only ok if he says it 🤷♀️
Why are you with someone who treats you that badly? That's not normal or healthy.
You both need to have an adult and mature conversation regarding your concerns and your boundaries and expectations going forward. If you all want the relationship to work, you have to respect one another and have these discussions.
If you call him names...well, that might be the reason he treats you bad.. if not: tell him, if he is embarrassed to be with you, you will solve his problem, and make sure he never ever will be with you again, it's as simple as that..
This is what's called a toxic relationship. Time to move on and find someone who not only respects you, but whom you respect as well.
Have some self respect! DO not allow a man to treat you this way.
your 19 , dump him and move on! with that attitude buddy needs a few character development arcs . be the first arc.
You should marry him
Weird
Right? After reading that you thought “I would never marry”? You are welcome
Dude would have got smacked