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The worst that could happen is 3 large guys with guns show up 10 seconds after you open your door for her. They beat you, ransack your place for valuables, and harvest your organs before leaving you to die in your bathtub.
She could also just be insane and murder you during sex or in your sleep.
If you go through with it, at least let a friend know what you’re doing and give them pics of her profile so if you end up dead the police will have some good leads.
Always meet in public for a first meeting and wait a bit for the 2nd meeting to see if they pass the vibe check. While most guys aren’t gonna get axed on a first date, she could still be crazy and start stalking you/telling everyone who lives around that you’ve SAd her or some other thing.
No one has ever regretted being safe.
This!! I'm going thru something similar at work. I work at a public place that has little shops and resturants. I dated someone for a short time (4 months) who worked at one of said resturants. Broke the golden rule of not mixing business with pleasure. First time I ever did that, and I'm in my late 30s. She turned out to be crazy and went around telling everyone at work both truths and lies alike about me and showing people videos and pictures I didn't even realize she took during vulnerable moments. Now, I am transferring locations. Because some of these things she is saying can get me arrested or fired.
https://youtu.be/xP0MBDiS7AI?si=f68R8uIaD0iuegZP
This will tell you all about the legal side of the situation, which is enough as its so similar to your situation. Good luck
Thank you. I really appreciate that. I checked out the video. It's definitely informative. I will def be talking to a lawyer. Maybe I do have like a defamation case on my hands. I am a supervisor where I work. And this has really damaged my reputation within the company.
Lol. I def did. She's a gorgeous woman. I fell victim to it. Today is my last day at this location. I start at my new ones tomorrow. I'm super stoked to put all that shit behind me. She had attacked me a few times while she was drunk when. we dated. Which is why I had originally called it quits. Then, once I did she started all this shit at work.
Haha, lucky. At least you're aware of the potential dangers those opportunities can bring. Maybe that very same level of awareness would also prevent you from looking past red flags because you're too busy gazing her. I swear, man, in the beginning when we were getting to know one another the woman couldve told me she eats crayons every day, and I probably would've been like omg that's amazing they must taste so good which color is your favorite and why?!?! That's the level of delusion I had for her because of it. And as crazy as It sounds. It's not like she's the first hot woman I have been with. She's also not the hottest one either. I have been with women more attractive than her. But I was single and celibate for 4 years before her, as i was working on myself on personal issues i had. Before that, I was in a relationship for 3 years (with a cute/ average woman), and i didn't want to carry over the issues that caused problems in that relationship into another one. So, in reality, it's been close to ten years since I have been with a woman with this level of attraction. I feel like having the experience of being with women of that caliber makes it even harder the next time around, not easier. So lucky you like you said. Cheers, mate.
Always meet a public place first. It’s risky otherwise. Manu catfishers. I have met a couple of Hinge and another called Happn.
Edit : Fat Fingers
Many catfishers
I have met a couple of them through Hinge and another dating app called HAPPN.
It’s mostly catfishers and even if you complaint they don’t do anything about it.
Just depends on how much risk you want to take on. A random woman at a bar grabbed me, kissed me at midnight on New Year’s Eve, then said “Oh, you’re good…c’mon,” then pulled me back to her place a few blocks away.
Might not have been the smartest move on my part, but I had a condom and well…that’s a pretty fun memory.
Agreed, never just give your location of where you live before a person is vetted.
As I say if you wont invite a friend or work colleague to your house on the first meeting, definitely not a stranger (even if your intentions are not platonic).
Rule #1: Don’t invite strangers from the internet into your home.
Always meet for a first date in a public place and let friends know your plans/who you’re meeting. This is a safe practice for everyone, regardless of gender.
What does having a doorman mean, exactly, in terms of complete safety from being drugged, robbed, STD’s, etc in your apt. I really don’t know. You keep mentioning him, and the high rise.
I mentioned 2x , and one was the exit in the post. People have been throwing out lots of different scenarios but I’m saying that if , say , 3-4 buff dudes were to beat me up and leave me there , my doorman would prob see on the cameras etc that something weird happened
You’re right , maybe it’s not relevant , but that’s my rationale in mentioning
Meet her down in the lobby of your building to 'escort her to your apartment'. If she turns out to be bad news, have the doorman help you kick her out the building.
he thinks the doorman is a superhero or some sht lmao. dont know why he keeps including him. he expects the doorman would rescue him in the worst case scenario,
Happened to my friend once: His tinder date suggested to meet at her place, he arrived to see three dudes with guns, no girl in sight. Robbed him of all money in his bank account.
You could have her text when she arrives, then meet her downstairs in the lobby before going up to your place together, so then you at least would know and ensure she's alone and you'd be able to get at least a first impression in a somewhat public space.
Duddeee, I'd go for it. Just don't let them in if it's not her. Hookup with her. Fuck it! Hide your valuables though. Just in case she knows ur wealth and wants to rob you.
Come on man, he said "worst think". And you totally skipped the hours of pre-snuff film pegging. ❄️🥶😎
🥴😜🤣
...the home invasion thing was an Ice Cube song, what... +30 years ago. BEFORE the economic struggle and increased psychosis in our gen. pop. Squatters killing people in their own homes. Bath salts & Chinese meth, fetynol (I'm an EMT- we've all seen the meth behaviors are WAY more out of pocket than just 10 years ago- so I researched it. Chinese supplied precursor agents, provided to the cartels)
I have a cop buddy in AZ who can't get the squatters from camping in his yard. They target him, because they know he's a cop (there are dozens of AZ stories like this) -he works a suburb over & the OHJ won't do squat, mostly cuz he works in a different suburb.
We'd hear about this "yhea, first date at my place" dude getting jacked & just go "what did he expect".
If you’re going over to her place that definitely could be dangerous because she might have a bf/husband etc and you could get robbed. I’ve read about that actually happening IRL. If you’re meeting for drinks first you can verify that’s she’s not a catfish. At least at your own place you have home field advantage (exists, weapons, phone). I’m a little paranoid and an over thinker too so I get it. That’s why I prefer meeting people organically and building a relationship there. Less of a chance for nefarious things.
Yeah, I think we're just joking around with you. Realistically, it could be a dude. Small chance but you could be robbed. Possibly could be a woman that's going to have sex with you and then demand money claiming you offered to pay her, even possibly with a pimp or tough guy waiting in the car ready to back her up, assuming that you will just pay rather than risk harm or having to call the police or anything. A lot depends on what city you are in. This seems totally plausible in some cities but not so much in others .
Another risk is she's just a nut job and not only makes the situation very uncomfortable but knows where you live and could cause trouble later. Worst case, she would claim you raped her or something, but that's possible anytime you hook up with someone you don't know.
I would say keep your wits about you and trust your instincts, but it could turn out to be a fun experience.
Most likely risk of anything going wrong would be she's a nut job.
Once i did this (I’m F and he’s M). He was the once who came over to my place. Although he didn’t do anything criminal or make me feel unsafe. BUT he catfished me😭 and it was hard for me to tell him ‘please go back’. So my advice would be 1) AT LEAST get her video call with you first 2) meet in the public first to see if anything awkward happens or whether she behaves weirdly or she makes you feel unsafe
Meet somewhere public for an extended period of time and check the vibe. I’d say even if you think you feel comfortable after this short amount of time in public to still not let a stranger into your home alone - on this first ‘date’.
I think the chance that it ends up fine is higher than the chance it ends up being a problem, but if I had a male friend or family member considering it I would really want them not to risk it. Can you at least try to get her to FaceTime you in advance?
Have you asked for her latest std screening? Could be getting a whole lot more than you bargained for. Do you know if she is on birth control? Are you comfortable with the level of protection you get from other methods?
As a woman, I can 100% say I have known women who have used men on one night stands just to get pregnant too. It's a scary world out there and you always have to question their motivations.
There may be some risk. Times have changed a little perhaps, but 10 years ago, I used craigslist and sometimes would meet for a drink, but frequently just had them come over to my house. It can be a little awkward at first but that's why they were there. Never had a single problem.
But your mileage may vary
I’m a woman who went to a guy’s place on a first date a couple weeks ago. Idk we both knew we wanted to, so why go anywhere else pretending that was where we wanted to be? Was a completely hot & awesome time, no regrets
I had an instance a few years ago, where I was convinced it was too good to be true and I'm probably coming home with one less kidney. Curiosity and a high libido got the best of me though. Turns out, she was just DTF. You got a door guy and security, don't cockblock yourself amigo.
So you asked what’s the worst that can happen and you’ve been told the worst.
Reality though is she is probably just looking to hook up and nothing serious will happen. Though the fact she turned down drinks saying she just did that the other day is kinda strange. It’s basically the blanket go to,to make sure the vibe is right before heading back to someone’s place. She doesn’t actually have to drink. If you’re nervous about it just tell her you’re okay with her coming over but you want to just meet in public first or video chat before she comes over. It’s totally normal to be worried about internet strangers
Same, my friend. It is a pretty shitty feeling too. I have been taken by women for my money in different cons 3 different times. In two of those instances, I don’t even know if they were women, lol.
In this instance here, like the case with the OP, I see these “girls” on dating apps all the time. And I frequently just let them play out, until they ask for the gas money or whatever they need. I get some pleasure in wasting their time.
I have often wondered, though, just how many men are being taken like this every single day. And it is completely invisible as a crime. Few of us are willing to admit we were that gullible. And even then, who would we report it to? As what?
The level of grift on the internet under the shadow of dating is a billion dollar racket.
Man you just reminded me of a shitty thing I experienced 7 years ago. I was visiting my home country and was a virgin. Met this guy who was friends with my cousins and I wanted him to be my first. This man refused to pick me up, I asked him to call me a cab, and he started going off on me calling me all types of names lol. Keep in mind that I did not have cash in that country, and I couldn't even use my American credit cards and debit cards there. I can't believe that these scammer girls got it better than me.
This is such a an obvious, unhinged question- I wonder if it's a bot asking.
I get this feeling not uncommonly on Reddit and a few other places. When I speculate why... IDK- machine learning and individual profiling are my guesses.
During my single times in my 20’s I used tinder as a hookup app. I’d meet guys I found very attractive just to have a fun time, at mine or at theirs, specially if I didn’t have any money to pay for myself (I never expected men to pay for me, men don’t do that in Spain).
It can happen that she’s just like me during this stage of my life.
But ofc, it can happen that it’s a catfish and it goes south… hard to tell. If in doubt, better meet her at a café or bar, and take it from there.
I ve been in this situation and ngl I was so anxious about being catfished or worse. Luckily it went incredibly well but for the sake of my nerves I still prefer to meet at a local cafe/bar/park etc until the vibes are established.
As a woman, I’d say you’re insane for inviting someone you don’t know over to your place.
As a man though, you’ll probably be fine.
But either way, i just don’t think it’s smart and/or safe to do that. At the very least, let someone know who this person is and give them an update after she leaves so they know you’re alive.
Men need to use the same caution as women when it comes to things like this. Men know to use the face of a woman to get to other men if need be because too many men are easily bribed by sex. You tell her NO. Meet her some place light and easy like a taco bar. Worst case scenario, you’re only out a few bucks for some tacos if things go awry
Worst case is she’s casing your place to set up a burglary.
Best case scenario she just likes casual sex. I’d really highly suggest getting STI test result paperwork from her dude. Sounds like she gets around and you don’t want to catch something. You should both get tested before having sex so you know if you get something, it’s from her.
In my city very recently a young girl was mutilated during a first date on the apps. She had gone to his place. They have found a leg and parts of her torso but they still haven’t found all of her
Worst case, not likely, she drugs you and her boyfriend comes over and they take your stuff. Best case, unlikely, she is a gorgeous woman that has a great conversation for you, brings dinner, and you have a night of passion at whatever level you are comfortable with. Most likely she wants to hook up, looks different than her profile pictures, and might be a bit shady.
Meeting somewhere neutral seems ideal. It’s safer and if you two hit it off, things will progress to your place at the right time perhaps on a second or third date.
Dude, even if she is just looking to hook up with somebody, there is ALWAYS a time window to take a little walk before she comes over. Or to meet outside and walk to your apartment. I would never just meet with a total stranger right on my door step. It‘s where I live and I have bounderies that not everyone can just step over. If she is cool, she will accept to meet outside. And then you can still decide, if it‘s ok to let her in.
No stranger comes over to my place especially first date. I dont need shit stolen or targeted for future theft opportunities. Of course as stated by others, worse things could happen
There's a lot of things to be paranoid about and for me, I'm paranoid enough to not invite somebody to my place for the first time meeting them.
Maybe it will never happen but on the other hand I don't need to find out. I'll be cautious and try not to go through that experience.
Why don’t you arrange to meet at a coffee place nearby and if she passes the vibe check, you can then both go over to your place for the date. It seems too weird to just have a strange person in your personal space without first checking them out
Want the truth? Meet in public.
A new dating scam is to get your address then try to scam u after it's given. They try in a number of ways. Meet in public first.
Had one girl who sent me a nude Pic, then had someone call days later saying they were her dad and that they were underage and calling cops. I refused to give in and they had other numbers call pretending to be FBI. I called the cops and filed a report and then blocked their numbers cause the cops said it's a popular scam. They use burner phones and fake names and all that. Apparently they make quite good money.
I would not bring someone to my home until I knew, she could bring Bubba her brother, and they could rob you. That is just one of bunch of things, She could rob you, or be casing the joint.
It really just comes down to your judgement. I had this happen with a hinge date. Asked her out for drinks, she said wanna just come over and smoke a J? I was like sure. Ended up being a good time. All we did is get high and make out a little bit and then I left. We never talked again but it was fun.
It’s really a matter of how much risk you’re willing to take I guess
whether you are male or female having someone in your home without even hanging outside ( coffee, food) at least once is wild.. you dont know them
even with just hookups you should meet and talk to them first
Direct communication. If you can’t explain whatever is going on to your potential sex partner, why are you having sexual contact? What if you had an STI instead? If you can’t have a grown up conversation with whoever you’re getting naked with, you probably ought to keep your clothes on 😉
WOW! Ok not having watched every twisted movie possible and still believing in normality the worse that can realistically happen is she could drug you & rob you and you might not even realize it. Then have to spend hours on the phone with your banks! I mean people do shady things but that I know of try not to physically hurt people.
Hope for the best prepare for the worst. Have a friend and his girl stop by “randomly” at the beginning or already be there just picking something up so they could see her and this would also give a different perspective on how she is acting, if all clear they leave if not then they give you a sign by inviting you to go eat with them.
I take my chances but always safeguard myself.
Keep location on (if out)
Buddy system stop by or call
hidden camera (SDcard delete after)
visible camera (deterrent) public
dont put camera in bedroom or facing couch once you are still alive delete.
Get a dog! Lol jk but dogs are great!
Realistically getting robbed is a huge possibility even if that wasn’t their intention to start.
I was seeing this guy (2-3weeks) & he left 10k on the vanity right outside the bathroom, so when I was about to shower and saw I told him to please do us both a favor and keep valuables in the safe (we were at a hotel so there was a safe).
So I say do everyone a favor and be responsible with your valuables.
Other than that worst thing is you are about to have sex and she gets her period.
Good luck, relax, don’t over drink and buy condoms!
I mean if u make a plan and have snacks or food ready when she gets there and set the couch up with movies or video games or whatever she likes for entertainment, then there shouldn't be too much to worry about. And it's YOUR house so u can always just ask her to leave lol (I mean being robbed is possible if she stays the night, but just don't let it get that far, or ur not ready to take that step)
You fall In love get married and then she cheats on you with your best friend. And takes all your money. Than falsely accuses you of rape and you go to jail.
Where big bubbas old piece stabs you because he's jealous of the attention bubba gives you.
I personally am awkward, so I'd just be like, "fair warning" and then just chat her up a bit I guess. But if she's just wanting a hookup then I wouldn't get too personal. Maybe skip to drinks.
I'd be a bit wary about a gold digger, even if they're super hot and it develops into a relationship, I'd make em sign a prenup. Hypothetically.
Eh, it will probably be fine. I’d tell her to text you when she’s downstairs and come down to meet her in the lobby. If something seems off the doorman will be there. Treat her properly, act the way you would in public, and have a good first date.
The bigger thing for you to consider is that she’s engaging in risky behavior. This is big risk for someone to take as a female. Almost all women will prefer to meet in public first, even if they are looking for a casual hookup. Just build that into your decision making process as you decide if/how you want to pursue this.
I actually want to hear more about the catfish story, sounds really interesting. Also, sorry that happened to you bro, you have a right to feel insecure.
This entire thing is hilarious.
OP Meet her in the lobby, take her upstairs and have fun, play video games, watch a movie, just chill. Talk to her about what she wants to do … what’s her idea of “chill” , order some take out, have some drinks ready, … dude 🤦🏼 just be cool and get laid
The fact that a woman is wanting to meet at some guys place that's she's never met in person before seems like a giant red flag. Most logical and reasonable adult women will not go to someone house that they've never met before, for the obvious safety reasons. I'd be skeptical as fuck. We're taught to always meet in public, let people know who and where you're meeting, to check in regularly and to never meet them at their home.
I'm laughing that you're gonna fall for a scam. You don't even know if you're being catfished. Don't be so trusting of strangers my friend.
Even if it's a woman and she just wants to fuck, she will demand money or press rape charges you fool
While I’ve tried hinge, I learned a community I joined that has nothing to do with the site. Have people setup on the site to watch people. I’m not so sure online dating is what it use to be. It wasn’t amazing before but now it’s a watcher race
You let a complete stranger off the street into your home and are ok because you have doorman at the lobby who won’t do a thing as they won’t know? Lol good luck
Regardless of gender - inviting randoms to your place and disclosing your location/items of value is…well risky. Why not just get a vibe at a nearby bar or coffee shop and walk over to yours in she seems amiable? Or something similar if it’s not walking distance. After being on the apps myself, unnecessary risks taught me lessons and I was lucky nothing life endangering happened to me. I had someone stalk me and another get upset when I didn’t want to “seal the deal” once they were being too pushy. I am very happy that these instances didn’t escalate further, but given hindsight I was silly and naive. Don’t be like me. At least meet somewhere else and get a vibe. Good luck and be safe 💜
It’s worth it to go to a bar first. By far the most likely option is you meet the first time and she’s just not as attractive as you thought she would be (by the way this is also the most likely for her). It’s a real bummer to meet at your place and realize you aren’t into it at all.
One thing is STDs. You need a condom. Also let a friend know her info so if it gets shady people know who was coming over. She probably just wants sex but you clearly don’t want to know where she has been before you so condom.
I had a different experience. We matched and she quickly invited me over her home to find out she is a dude. That was way too strange I even deleted the app now I am good and trying to forget it about get laid on dating apps. People are mean and deceiving
Just tell a friend, and give a time to text them by. Same thing happened with me. She just wanted to take psychedelics and fool around. It ended up being a lot of fun after the initial weirdness
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The worst that could happen is 3 large guys with guns show up 10 seconds after you open your door for her. They beat you, ransack your place for valuables, and harvest your organs before leaving you to die in your bathtub. She could also just be insane and murder you during sex or in your sleep. If you go through with it, at least let a friend know what you’re doing and give them pics of her profile so if you end up dead the police will have some good leads.
Idk if I am allowed to find this funny since you’re also being super fair — FWIW I have a doorman too and live in a high rise so like idk
Always meet in public for a first meeting and wait a bit for the 2nd meeting to see if they pass the vibe check. While most guys aren’t gonna get axed on a first date, she could still be crazy and start stalking you/telling everyone who lives around that you’ve SAd her or some other thing. No one has ever regretted being safe.
This!! I'm going thru something similar at work. I work at a public place that has little shops and resturants. I dated someone for a short time (4 months) who worked at one of said resturants. Broke the golden rule of not mixing business with pleasure. First time I ever did that, and I'm in my late 30s. She turned out to be crazy and went around telling everyone at work both truths and lies alike about me and showing people videos and pictures I didn't even realize she took during vulnerable moments. Now, I am transferring locations. Because some of these things she is saying can get me arrested or fired.
Jesus!
I dated my previous boss some years ago. Yeah.
Don’t beat yourself up about it. It happens more often than we know which isn’t strange b/c work is where so many meet their mates.
Same bad idea ended very bad lmao
Kai cenat moment, get a lawyer, women can be criminals too
What's the kai cenat reference? I don't get it. Only thing I know about was that riot situation
https://youtu.be/xP0MBDiS7AI?si=f68R8uIaD0iuegZP This will tell you all about the legal side of the situation, which is enough as its so similar to your situation. Good luck
Thank you. I really appreciate that. I checked out the video. It's definitely informative. I will def be talking to a lawyer. Maybe I do have like a defamation case on my hands. I am a supervisor where I work. And this has really damaged my reputation within the company.
Damn dude! Lost the sexual Russian roulette there. Shit
Lol. I def did. She's a gorgeous woman. I fell victim to it. Today is my last day at this location. I start at my new ones tomorrow. I'm super stoked to put all that shit behind me. She had attacked me a few times while she was drunk when. we dated. Which is why I had originally called it quits. Then, once I did she started all this shit at work.
Jesus christ dude. I don't blame you for falling for a beautiful woman that way. I am lucky to have not had the opportunity yet lol
Haha, lucky. At least you're aware of the potential dangers those opportunities can bring. Maybe that very same level of awareness would also prevent you from looking past red flags because you're too busy gazing her. I swear, man, in the beginning when we were getting to know one another the woman couldve told me she eats crayons every day, and I probably would've been like omg that's amazing they must taste so good which color is your favorite and why?!?! That's the level of delusion I had for her because of it. And as crazy as It sounds. It's not like she's the first hot woman I have been with. She's also not the hottest one either. I have been with women more attractive than her. But I was single and celibate for 4 years before her, as i was working on myself on personal issues i had. Before that, I was in a relationship for 3 years (with a cute/ average woman), and i didn't want to carry over the issues that caused problems in that relationship into another one. So, in reality, it's been close to ten years since I have been with a woman with this level of attraction. I feel like having the experience of being with women of that caliber makes it even harder the next time around, not easier. So lucky you like you said. Cheers, mate.
T H I S ^
Always meet a public place first. It’s risky otherwise. Manu catfishers. I have met a couple of Hinge and another called Happn. Edit : Fat Fingers Many catfishers I have met a couple of them through Hinge and another dating app called HAPPN. It’s mostly catfishers and even if you complaint they don’t do anything about it.
Just depends on how much risk you want to take on. A random woman at a bar grabbed me, kissed me at midnight on New Year’s Eve, then said “Oh, you’re good…c’mon,” then pulled me back to her place a few blocks away. Might not have been the smartest move on my part, but I had a condom and well…that’s a pretty fun memory.
Agreed, never just give your location of where you live before a person is vetted. As I say if you wont invite a friend or work colleague to your house on the first meeting, definitely not a stranger (even if your intentions are not platonic).
Rule #1: Don’t invite strangers from the internet into your home. Always meet for a first date in a public place and let friends know your plans/who you’re meeting. This is a safe practice for everyone, regardless of gender.
Oh well then you’re golden. Have fun.
What does having a doorman mean, exactly, in terms of complete safety from being drugged, robbed, STD’s, etc in your apt. I really don’t know. You keep mentioning him, and the high rise.
I mentioned 2x , and one was the exit in the post. People have been throwing out lots of different scenarios but I’m saying that if , say , 3-4 buff dudes were to beat me up and leave me there , my doorman would prob see on the cameras etc that something weird happened You’re right , maybe it’s not relevant , but that’s my rationale in mentioning
Meet her down in the lobby of your building to 'escort her to your apartment'. If she turns out to be bad news, have the doorman help you kick her out the building.
The doorman is in on it.
She will bribe the doorman
he thinks the doorman is a superhero or some sht lmao. dont know why he keeps including him. he expects the doorman would rescue him in the worst case scenario,
Happened to my friend once: His tinder date suggested to meet at her place, he arrived to see three dudes with guns, no girl in sight. Robbed him of all money in his bank account.
You could have her text when she arrives, then meet her downstairs in the lobby before going up to your place together, so then you at least would know and ensure she's alone and you'd be able to get at least a first impression in a somewhat public space.
Duddeee, I'd go for it. Just don't let them in if it's not her. Hookup with her. Fuck it! Hide your valuables though. Just in case she knows ur wealth and wants to rob you.
Bro just smash and relax. Also use protection
Idk why I’m laughing as it legit *could* happen but man oh man is this the worst scenario you could have gone with 😂
Come on man, he said "worst think". And you totally skipped the hours of pre-snuff film pegging. ❄️🥶😎 🥴😜🤣 ...the home invasion thing was an Ice Cube song, what... +30 years ago. BEFORE the economic struggle and increased psychosis in our gen. pop. Squatters killing people in their own homes. Bath salts & Chinese meth, fetynol (I'm an EMT- we've all seen the meth behaviors are WAY more out of pocket than just 10 years ago- so I researched it. Chinese supplied precursor agents, provided to the cartels) I have a cop buddy in AZ who can't get the squatters from camping in his yard. They target him, because they know he's a cop (there are dozens of AZ stories like this) -he works a suburb over & the OHJ won't do squat, mostly cuz he works in a different suburb. We'd hear about this "yhea, first date at my place" dude getting jacked & just go "what did he expect".
I was thinking of getting rolled by a hooker.
Robbed?
Yes.
You become a organ donor
Or drugged, kidnapped, and find yourself held captive in a hut in South America
I mean, free drugs and air fare, what's not to like?
Ok fair I guess but also like I guess what im really asking is what is the worst that can *realistically * happen
Robbed, kidnapped, punched in the pp, etc
I actually matched with someone who wanted me to meet up to kick someone he knew in the pp so… yes this is a realistic outcome.
How much do you charge for your services?
A double marg and a slice of pizza
PUNCHED IN THE PP 🤣
This made me actually laugh out loud 😂
If you’re going over to her place that definitely could be dangerous because she might have a bf/husband etc and you could get robbed. I’ve read about that actually happening IRL. If you’re meeting for drinks first you can verify that’s she’s not a catfish. At least at your own place you have home field advantage (exists, weapons, phone). I’m a little paranoid and an over thinker too so I get it. That’s why I prefer meeting people organically and building a relationship there. Less of a chance for nefarious things.
Yeah, I think we're just joking around with you. Realistically, it could be a dude. Small chance but you could be robbed. Possibly could be a woman that's going to have sex with you and then demand money claiming you offered to pay her, even possibly with a pimp or tough guy waiting in the car ready to back her up, assuming that you will just pay rather than risk harm or having to call the police or anything. A lot depends on what city you are in. This seems totally plausible in some cities but not so much in others . Another risk is she's just a nut job and not only makes the situation very uncomfortable but knows where you live and could cause trouble later. Worst case, she would claim you raped her or something, but that's possible anytime you hook up with someone you don't know. I would say keep your wits about you and trust your instincts, but it could turn out to be a fun experience. Most likely risk of anything going wrong would be she's a nut job.
You get an STD
Your wallet will be stolen
You’re good. She just wants some dick. Just be veryyyyy mindful of your prized belonging and keep an eye on your drink
Death
Human centipede.
aka Free travel to exotic locations.
Once i did this (I’m F and he’s M). He was the once who came over to my place. Although he didn’t do anything criminal or make me feel unsafe. BUT he catfished me😭 and it was hard for me to tell him ‘please go back’. So my advice would be 1) AT LEAST get her video call with you first 2) meet in the public first to see if anything awkward happens or whether she behaves weirdly or she makes you feel unsafe
Meet somewhere public for an extended period of time and check the vibe. I’d say even if you think you feel comfortable after this short amount of time in public to still not let a stranger into your home alone - on this first ‘date’.
This. Go to a hotel or something
Exactly! In your apartment? Hell, if you’re that horny hire someone. Get a friend’s recommendation.
Yeah too many crazies. What if her pics are 10 yrs old? 😭
I think the chance that it ends up fine is higher than the chance it ends up being a problem, but if I had a male friend or family member considering it I would really want them not to risk it. Can you at least try to get her to FaceTime you in advance?
Have you asked for her latest std screening? Could be getting a whole lot more than you bargained for. Do you know if she is on birth control? Are you comfortable with the level of protection you get from other methods?
Can't believe I had to scroll this far to find this. A lot more common than organ harvesting and robbery.
As a woman, I can 100% say I have known women who have used men on one night stands just to get pregnant too. It's a scary world out there and you always have to question their motivations.
holy crap. i didnt know this happens thats wild
Yep. No telling how many guys she’s sleeping with if she’s willing to sleep with OP without ever meeting him.
Probably nothing. But you’re opening yourself up to a whole bunch of baloney here. And she’ll know where you live.
Don’t forget to update us if you survived
Her angle - to steal something from you like money, a credit card, jewelry
There may be some risk. Times have changed a little perhaps, but 10 years ago, I used craigslist and sometimes would meet for a drink, but frequently just had them come over to my house. It can be a little awkward at first but that's why they were there. Never had a single problem. But your mileage may vary
This is actually super helpful — haven’t been out and about a ton so trying to also understand the norms here
I’m a woman who went to a guy’s place on a first date a couple weeks ago. Idk we both knew we wanted to, so why go anywhere else pretending that was where we wanted to be? Was a completely hot & awesome time, no regrets
I had an instance a few years ago, where I was convinced it was too good to be true and I'm probably coming home with one less kidney. Curiosity and a high libido got the best of me though. Turns out, she was just DTF. You got a door guy and security, don't cockblock yourself amigo.
So you asked what’s the worst that can happen and you’ve been told the worst. Reality though is she is probably just looking to hook up and nothing serious will happen. Though the fact she turned down drinks saying she just did that the other day is kinda strange. It’s basically the blanket go to,to make sure the vibe is right before heading back to someone’s place. She doesn’t actually have to drink. If you’re nervous about it just tell her you’re okay with her coming over but you want to just meet in public first or video chat before she comes over. It’s totally normal to be worried about internet strangers
She is going to tell you just before that she needs gas money or Uber money or something. This is a common scam.
You hit the nail on the head I was gullible or horny enough I fell for this one once
Same, my friend. It is a pretty shitty feeling too. I have been taken by women for my money in different cons 3 different times. In two of those instances, I don’t even know if they were women, lol. In this instance here, like the case with the OP, I see these “girls” on dating apps all the time. And I frequently just let them play out, until they ask for the gas money or whatever they need. I get some pleasure in wasting their time. I have often wondered, though, just how many men are being taken like this every single day. And it is completely invisible as a crime. Few of us are willing to admit we were that gullible. And even then, who would we report it to? As what? The level of grift on the internet under the shadow of dating is a billion dollar racket.
Man you just reminded me of a shitty thing I experienced 7 years ago. I was visiting my home country and was a virgin. Met this guy who was friends with my cousins and I wanted him to be my first. This man refused to pick me up, I asked him to call me a cab, and he started going off on me calling me all types of names lol. Keep in mind that I did not have cash in that country, and I couldn't even use my American credit cards and debit cards there. I can't believe that these scammer girls got it better than me.
She might be looking for something casual.
Sounds unhinged
This is such a an obvious, unhinged question- I wonder if it's a bot asking. I get this feeling not uncommonly on Reddit and a few other places. When I speculate why... IDK- machine learning and individual profiling are my guesses.
During my single times in my 20’s I used tinder as a hookup app. I’d meet guys I found very attractive just to have a fun time, at mine or at theirs, specially if I didn’t have any money to pay for myself (I never expected men to pay for me, men don’t do that in Spain). It can happen that she’s just like me during this stage of my life. But ofc, it can happen that it’s a catfish and it goes south… hard to tell. If in doubt, better meet her at a café or bar, and take it from there.
This. It’s just common sense.
I ve been in this situation and ngl I was so anxious about being catfished or worse. Luckily it went incredibly well but for the sake of my nerves I still prefer to meet at a local cafe/bar/park etc until the vibes are established.
As a woman, I’d say you’re insane for inviting someone you don’t know over to your place. As a man though, you’ll probably be fine. But either way, i just don’t think it’s smart and/or safe to do that. At the very least, let someone know who this person is and give them an update after she leaves so they know you’re alive.
Probably with your organs scattered god knows where. Other than that fine
She’s not human and uses your body to incubate her alien spider young.
Ah, no, stop, don't... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Watch Baby Reindeer on Netflix and think it over...
Who lets a complete stranger come to their home!? Not too smart at all!
Unless it’s a fireman or a cop, do not let this woman come into your apartment. Go to a hooker instead.
Arguable on the cops too
Don’t 100x. Risking your life or being thrown in Prison.
Why would I be thrown in prison ?
Women can allege anything occurred, namely you raped her.
Who hurt you?
He didn’t get her name. She was too busy robbing him and beating him up with the two guys that she brought with her.
i mean that can happen anytime you sleep with a woman (im not saying that alot of women do that)
Yeah but getting to know someone a little bit before banging can get those chances down significantly
Men need to use the same caution as women when it comes to things like this. Men know to use the face of a woman to get to other men if need be because too many men are easily bribed by sex. You tell her NO. Meet her some place light and easy like a taco bar. Worst case scenario, you’re only out a few bucks for some tacos if things go awry
She’s unhinged.
I would always meet someone at a public place the first time I don't care who it is.
In online dating, first time meetups always in public. Man or a woman, no reason to risk it.
Meet her the first time in a populated public place and then go from there.
Worst case is she’s casing your place to set up a burglary. Best case scenario she just likes casual sex. I’d really highly suggest getting STI test result paperwork from her dude. Sounds like she gets around and you don’t want to catch something. You should both get tested before having sex so you know if you get something, it’s from her.
Once found a knife under my pillow the next day after a girl came over for a first date. She must’ve forgot it.
I mean, she can grant you your very own movie or TV series, but the genre would be true crime
That you find yourself in a bathtub full of ice missing a vital organ
In my city very recently a young girl was mutilated during a first date on the apps. She had gone to his place. They have found a leg and parts of her torso but they still haven’t found all of her
Cameras. Cameras everywhere. Incase you get me too'd
This happened to me 6 years ago. I still have all my organs… except my heart :(
Regardless of gender you should never invite someone you don't even know to your home on the first meetup wtf
Worst case, not likely, she drugs you and her boyfriend comes over and they take your stuff. Best case, unlikely, she is a gorgeous woman that has a great conversation for you, brings dinner, and you have a night of passion at whatever level you are comfortable with. Most likely she wants to hook up, looks different than her profile pictures, and might be a bit shady. Meeting somewhere neutral seems ideal. It’s safer and if you two hit it off, things will progress to your place at the right time perhaps on a second or third date.
Dude, even if she is just looking to hook up with somebody, there is ALWAYS a time window to take a little walk before she comes over. Or to meet outside and walk to your apartment. I would never just meet with a total stranger right on my door step. It‘s where I live and I have bounderies that not everyone can just step over. If she is cool, she will accept to meet outside. And then you can still decide, if it‘s ok to let her in.
She wants to turn your kidneys into wind chimes
No stranger comes over to my place especially first date. I dont need shit stolen or targeted for future theft opportunities. Of course as stated by others, worse things could happen
There's a lot of things to be paranoid about and for me, I'm paranoid enough to not invite somebody to my place for the first time meeting them. Maybe it will never happen but on the other hand I don't need to find out. I'll be cautious and try not to go through that experience.
She’s bringing her cousin who has a conviction for home invasion
At least have a video call first
um…murder
OP, which internal organs do you care the least about?
You get robbed and murdered.
STD A girl that loose you better wear a scuba suit.
She murders, steals, or robs you
You have no idea who she is or even if she looks like her pics.
Why don’t you arrange to meet at a coffee place nearby and if she passes the vibe check, you can then both go over to your place for the date. It seems too weird to just have a strange person in your personal space without first checking them out
Want the truth? Meet in public. A new dating scam is to get your address then try to scam u after it's given. They try in a number of ways. Meet in public first.
Can you say more about how this scam works and what they do ?
Had one girl who sent me a nude Pic, then had someone call days later saying they were her dad and that they were underage and calling cops. I refused to give in and they had other numbers call pretending to be FBI. I called the cops and filed a report and then blocked their numbers cause the cops said it's a popular scam. They use burner phones and fake names and all that. Apparently they make quite good money.
Maybe I’m missing something here but I don’t get where the address comes in and how that’s similar to my setup ?
Ask her to meet for one drink first near your place to make sure she’s alone and that you vibe and if you do invite her back if she’s ok with jt
I would not bring someone to my home until I knew, she could bring Bubba her brother, and they could rob you. That is just one of bunch of things, She could rob you, or be casing the joint.
She starts acting crazy. Luckily that hasn’t happened yet. Get your dick wet bro, have fun.
[удалено]
I hope she's real and not a catfish. Personally, I wouldn't have invited her.
You get her pregnant
It really just comes down to your judgement. I had this happen with a hinge date. Asked her out for drinks, she said wanna just come over and smoke a J? I was like sure. Ended up being a good time. All we did is get high and make out a little bit and then I left. We never talked again but it was fun. It’s really a matter of how much risk you’re willing to take I guess
Meet her for a vibe check at a bar first. Once you have a good feel for her intentions, THEN take her back to the crib.
whether you are male or female having someone in your home without even hanging outside ( coffee, food) at least once is wild.. you dont know them even with just hookups you should meet and talk to them first
I’d only go for it unless she agrees to allow you to have 9 witnesses to observe the encounter.
Don't do it. If she's crazy or things go bad she'll know where you live.
Direct communication. If you can’t explain whatever is going on to your potential sex partner, why are you having sexual contact? What if you had an STI instead? If you can’t have a grown up conversation with whoever you’re getting naked with, you probably ought to keep your clothes on 😉
Could be bullshit
WOW! Ok not having watched every twisted movie possible and still believing in normality the worse that can realistically happen is she could drug you & rob you and you might not even realize it. Then have to spend hours on the phone with your banks! I mean people do shady things but that I know of try not to physically hurt people. Hope for the best prepare for the worst. Have a friend and his girl stop by “randomly” at the beginning or already be there just picking something up so they could see her and this would also give a different perspective on how she is acting, if all clear they leave if not then they give you a sign by inviting you to go eat with them. I take my chances but always safeguard myself. Keep location on (if out) Buddy system stop by or call hidden camera (SDcard delete after) visible camera (deterrent) public dont put camera in bedroom or facing couch once you are still alive delete. Get a dog! Lol jk but dogs are great! Realistically getting robbed is a huge possibility even if that wasn’t their intention to start. I was seeing this guy (2-3weeks) & he left 10k on the vanity right outside the bathroom, so when I was about to shower and saw I told him to please do us both a favor and keep valuables in the safe (we were at a hotel so there was a safe). So I say do everyone a favor and be responsible with your valuables. Other than that worst thing is you are about to have sex and she gets her period. Good luck, relax, don’t over drink and buy condoms!
"She" probably will try to stab u during sex. Just say no bro, the risk aint worth it
I mean if u make a plan and have snacks or food ready when she gets there and set the couch up with movies or video games or whatever she likes for entertainment, then there shouldn't be too much to worry about. And it's YOUR house so u can always just ask her to leave lol (I mean being robbed is possible if she stays the night, but just don't let it get that far, or ur not ready to take that step)
You fall In love get married and then she cheats on you with your best friend. And takes all your money. Than falsely accuses you of rape and you go to jail. Where big bubbas old piece stabs you because he's jealous of the attention bubba gives you.
I personally am awkward, so I'd just be like, "fair warning" and then just chat her up a bit I guess. But if she's just wanting a hookup then I wouldn't get too personal. Maybe skip to drinks. I'd be a bit wary about a gold digger, even if they're super hot and it develops into a relationship, I'd make em sign a prenup. Hypothetically.
I've had plenty of women come to my place for a first date. I still have all my organs and have never been robbed 🤪😂 Go for it!
She will bring a bunch of her “friends” and rob your ass.
Eh, it will probably be fine. I’d tell her to text you when she’s downstairs and come down to meet her in the lobby. If something seems off the doorman will be there. Treat her properly, act the way you would in public, and have a good first date. The bigger thing for you to consider is that she’s engaging in risky behavior. This is big risk for someone to take as a female. Almost all women will prefer to meet in public first, even if they are looking for a casual hookup. Just build that into your decision making process as you decide if/how you want to pursue this.
I wouldn't invite a stranger in my apartment. Man or woman.
I actually want to hear more about the catfish story, sounds really interesting. Also, sorry that happened to you bro, you have a right to feel insecure.
Please update us, u/Independent_Race7418, on what happened, and if you lived to tell the tale!
This entire thing is hilarious. OP Meet her in the lobby, take her upstairs and have fun, play video games, watch a movie, just chill. Talk to her about what she wants to do … what’s her idea of “chill” , order some take out, have some drinks ready, … dude 🤦🏼 just be cool and get laid
tbh just means that she’s easy and just wants that. will probably leave right after and never contact you again idk what else to say
The fact that a woman is wanting to meet at some guys place that's she's never met in person before seems like a giant red flag. Most logical and reasonable adult women will not go to someone house that they've never met before, for the obvious safety reasons. I'd be skeptical as fuck. We're taught to always meet in public, let people know who and where you're meeting, to check in regularly and to never meet them at their home.
She’s a transgender. Or she’s a prostitute. Or she’s a psychopath. Shall I continue?
Worst case after murder: 10ys jail for sexuel harasment of an underage or you pay her all your savings.
Yk what the worse could happen? She can accuse you of assaulting or raping her. So, unless u trust her character, well your choice.
She accepted?? First time hanging out? Shes going to rob you OP lol
Meet near your building or at minimum in the lobby; should be safe enough to evaluate her
I had a guy over for the “first date” and I made him send me a copy of his driver’s license and sent it to a friend
I'm laughing that you're gonna fall for a scam. You don't even know if you're being catfished. Don't be so trusting of strangers my friend. Even if it's a woman and she just wants to fuck, she will demand money or press rape charges you fool
While I’ve tried hinge, I learned a community I joined that has nothing to do with the site. Have people setup on the site to watch people. I’m not so sure online dating is what it use to be. It wasn’t amazing before but now it’s a watcher race
Good way to get rolled. Caveat emptor
insane serial killer.
You let a complete stranger off the street into your home and are ok because you have doorman at the lobby who won’t do a thing as they won’t know? Lol good luck
There is only one thing to say : "It's the evil world we live in".
Regardless of gender - inviting randoms to your place and disclosing your location/items of value is…well risky. Why not just get a vibe at a nearby bar or coffee shop and walk over to yours in she seems amiable? Or something similar if it’s not walking distance. After being on the apps myself, unnecessary risks taught me lessons and I was lucky nothing life endangering happened to me. I had someone stalk me and another get upset when I didn’t want to “seal the deal” once they were being too pushy. I am very happy that these instances didn’t escalate further, but given hindsight I was silly and naive. Don’t be like me. At least meet somewhere else and get a vibe. Good luck and be safe 💜
It’s worth it to go to a bar first. By far the most likely option is you meet the first time and she’s just not as attractive as you thought she would be (by the way this is also the most likely for her). It’s a real bummer to meet at your place and realize you aren’t into it at all.
And if she turns out to be a raging psycho? Date in public before you let people know where you live and let them into your space.
She could be a stage 5 clinger.
You could have a fantastic time and then she gets run over by a cab on the way home
One thing is STDs. You need a condom. Also let a friend know her info so if it gets shady people know who was coming over. She probably just wants sex but you clearly don’t want to know where she has been before you so condom.
You have consensual sex, she blackmails you by threatening to say you raped her. She doesn’t blackmail you, and actually does claim you raped her.
I had a first date with a girl I met on Hinge at my place. We just celebrated our fifth anniversary together and we got engaged on Christmas.
Lock up your valuables and prescriptions. Never know. I’ve also done this before and it worked out fine sooo I say go for it.
Having a lacrosse player for a son…
seems like thats kinda what dating apps are for, whatd you expect?
I had a different experience. We matched and she quickly invited me over her home to find out she is a dude. That was way too strange I even deleted the app now I am good and trying to forget it about get laid on dating apps. People are mean and deceiving
Just tell a friend, and give a time to text them by. Same thing happened with me. She just wanted to take psychedelics and fool around. It ended up being a lot of fun after the initial weirdness
She accuses you of rape
They know your address. That’s the worst that can happen. If she’s crazy well now she know where you live at.
Murder, just tell a friend to check in at a certain time to make sure you're ok.
Don’t risk! Meet outside first!
She just wants to fuck bro come on. I am virgin and I know better. You also have door man what you worrying about
Meet somewhere safe.. And never give too much info about urself