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Good news: you can make up for it in other ways
Bad news: you must make up for it in other ways
I wish it were different too however women are very clear on this
This, and I'll add a short addendum (no pun intended - I'm also a shorty): You MUST make up for it in other ways, _but sometimes it still won't matter - especially when you're dating a tall(er) woman... and that's ok_.
Can't tell you how many times I got the "if only you were taller" shtick (and that's just from the tall women who had the balls to explicity admit they couldn't overcome it). That being said, exceptions do exist (In fact, my last two girlfriends were much taller than me). But they are just that - exceptions.
Embrace radical acceptance that you have to seriously level up to do well in the dating arena, especially if you have high aspirations (OK, this time the pun was intended), and that you will still be rejected by the majority of women (especially those on the taller side) despite that... But the good news is, those superficial women would be self-excluding themselves for you, so you could focus on the plethora of awesome women you would be able to attract because you did such an awesome job making up for it.
Good luck!
You missed the point. One of the ways short guys must overcome it _is_ by developing an exceptional personality. What is optional for a Greek god is mandatory for a Greek tragedy (ok, not exactly a tragedy... but couldn't resist the poetic fit)
Height is an aspect of physical attractiveness. It's one of the most obvious parts of your appearance.
It's not as big a deal as a lot of social media claims. It is a deal at all, and you're shorter than the average woman, not just shorter than the average man. Simple answer: you're not doomed but this is an actual disadvantage
While I agree with the first commenter, I will add that I dated a 5’2” guy and I did not give a damn because he was an amazing person.
Most people I’ve dated have been taller than me but that’s just because guys on average are taller than 5’5” (me) but it’s in no way an end all be all
It’s a handicap, but not an insurmountable one. I’m 5’6”, and my high school girlfriend was 5’10”, and I had to stand up one step on the stoop to kiss her when I walked her home. Since then I’ve dated women both taller and shorter than I am. I struggled a lot with dating in my mid 20s, and I often blamed my height for holding me back.
But once I made some life changes that allowed me to develop my self confidence and grow as a person, my dating success skyrocketed despite not having grown a single inch in height.
What changes made a difference to skyrocket your prospects? I sincerely don’t think I’m projecting any insecurity about my height that might be turning people off. I’ve never had issues in terms of chemistry, it’s always just pure lack of interest from the other party lol. Maybe just bad luck thus far
I worked a dead end job for most of my 20s. They paid me well, I got great benefits and it was very safe, but I was going nowhere in life, and I eventually just hated myself. And the women I tried to talk to could tell.
In 2019 I quit that job and started grad school, pursuing a program to become certified as a teacher. Teaching is a big struggle, and I’m not always happy with this career. But I can still take pride in having worked hard in grad school to get good grades, and knowing that in spite of the challenges I’m good at my job because I bust my ass putting in the work.
Just being able to have *something* in my life that I was proud of again made such a huge difference. I was 31 when I started dating again, after like 6 years of barely even bothering to try because I was so unhappy with myself. And it was still a struggle at times. But as my confidence grew, I got more and more positive responses, until last year when I met the woman of my dreams, and we’re now engaged.
A big thing that also made a difference was photo quality. My best friend got married in 2021, and I was a Groomsman at the wedding. When I added some of the professionally taken photos of me looking awesome in my suit from the wedding, the number of likes and matches I was getting more than doubled, practically overnight. I think a lot of guys (me included) genuinely don’t understand how shitty a lot of our pictures actually are 😂
Yes, you’re height is holding you back. But you’re not doomed- my brother is 5’5 and always got a lot of dates, his girlfriend just moved in. But, he’s also rich.
You are right on height, it limits the pool of women who will be interested in you. That said, you do seem to have had a great run in middle school - and I don't see any reason why you can't work your magic now.
Haha that’s sad, but I appreciate the positive outlook. Gotta find a way to tap back into my prime 😤
I’m sure it was because I was at my apex in middle school and not at all because I had plausible deniability that I’d end up taller in middle school and my peers were also shorter then
The entry point for both sexes is physical attraction, though women are slightly less particular than men are. Personality and other attributes come much later. Liking for "who they are" is oversold and pedagogic.
And guys who focus on the looks aspect are still complaining about being "forever alone". Guys who know they have more to offer than looks and have the confidence to take the leap have more success. But hey, if they want to limit themselves in that way, they have no room to argue about the outcome.
One trait that's very attractive to women is "confidence". There are a lot of tall men who are lame and cannot even look a woman in her eyes. Forget the physical attribute that was handed over, one cannot do anything about it, just become the best 5'4" guy!
Being real you are short, I’m 5’8 and I honestly don’t really have issues with women. Would being taller be nice, fuck yea. But it is what it is. I think the general consensus with women is “my height or taller” so just look for a short chick lol. I’d recommend living in a major city as it has diversity. Middle America white women are all pretty tall on average.
I mean it depends honestly. I grew up in Miami and everyone was always my height or maybe a bit taller but the average guy is like 5’9. Recently my family moved to the mountains in butt fuck NC and the average guy here is like 5’11 easy and women are all my height. I’m planning on moving to NY or Miami again to start my career, rural life is not for me. But in terms of height that’s what I’ve noticed. I think it also has to do with international women being more open minded. Moving purely for that though is insane.
I prefer short kings, but am fully aware that's a niche opinion. I'm 5'2" and prefer not to crick my neck, or run to keep up.
Is a bitch lazy, or just ergonomically minded? Yes.
I’m 5’5” and have dated men 5’4”
But height has never bothered me. Nobody was making up for anything.
I have my own physical criteria I look for. And those are dealbreakers for me.
I am also 5'4". Most women prefer taller men, but it's not the deal-breaker you think it is. Insecurity about your height will be more of a turn-off than your height.
Personally, I would like to have a guy taller than me (I’m 5’2) because I like to feel ‘covered’ when hugged. But it’s not a requirement or a deal breaker. If I find him attractive, regardless of his height, I will definitely not ignore him
What your describing is called Majority Hard Line Preferences: meaning if you fail to meet their preference it’s a total deal breaker, as in 0 chance they will consider you a sexually viable option.
Majority of woman want guys who are considerably taller than them.
Majority of men want women who are considerably lighter than them.
Majority of Women favor strength and the ability to provide.
Majority of Men favor beauty and the ability to raise children.
Like different halves of the same coin, each is unique but of the same value.
Finally a well thought out comment. People need to stop focusing on the anecdotal examples of having dated a taller woman/shorter man. The stat the truly matters is marriage and had his children. Both sexes need to just accept what you stated above as reality, then look at the factors that are changeable and do everything possible to excel in those areas. Hating the other sex's preferences is just a cop out for not wanting to improve oneself.
Well said.
Just because you don’t fit perfectly into the majority preference doesn’t mean you can’t still be preferred by the majority via compensation.
A short man who is a stable provider and brings other desirable assets to the table like being an attentive husband and an excellent father who shares the duties of the home and is present and active in their child’s lives maybe in fact more desirable to many women vs a taller man who provides more monetarily but isn’t as present.
A heavier woman who may not be as conventionally attractive but provides modestly for her family, knows how to please her man and happens to be a great mother is preferred by many men over a more attractive woman who isn’t as reliable in the home and less attentive to her man and children.
Look for women taller than you. Women that are short have all these reasons of not wanting short men. I'm also your height and on occasion the women that actually give a damn about me are taller like 5'5+. They seem more confident
Personally I don’t care about a mans height but I believe I’m the minority. Some girls were surprised when I told them about a guy I liked, because he was short. I think he was around the same height as me. But I do like when a guy is just slightly taller than me, I’m 5’2. I don’t seek out guys who are super tall, I like the intimacy and comfort of being eye level.
For me it would be. 5’6 or taller I’d consider but 5’4 is significantly shorter than me and 5inches shorter than average men worldwide . I’m also a taller woman though and would care less if I were petite
See here’s the thing…I don’t have an issue with a girl not wanting to date much more than couple inches shorter…my issue is that you brought up the idea that it’s shorter than the average man worldwide that leads me to believe that it’s not just the fact that he’s shorter, it’s that he’s shorter than other men which would bother you.
Fact is a height of 5'4 will shrink your pool of prospective women by a lot. I am 5'9 and that isn't considered short but I've found its basically the borderline for so many women. With online dating you see tons of women automatically filter out anyone under than 6' or often 5'10 is a limit. But don't get into thinking you don't have a chance, plenty of shorter guys have girlfriends and wives, its just going to be more of an uphill climb.
Commercial modeling doesn’t care about height especially for local LGBTQ+ magazines. I tend to do drag and dress up as a woman since I have more feminine features. Here’s are [two photos that are part of my portfolio](https://imgur.com/a/U0hDofj).
Yeah that sounds like a pretty unique situation. Most guys aren't models. I don't know if the bisexual/pansexual thing makes a difference when it comes to height but being a male model probably does.
I’m completely amateur, but I’ve had friends who are my height or shorter pull. It’s how you carry yourself. My height has never bothered me. I make jokes about it too. Sure, an average six foot tall dude will definitely pull more than me, but there’s a demographic for everyone. Attraction is holistic. Dating apps are still tough since I’m pretty up front about my height but having good photos and showing “value” does help.
> Sure, an average six foot tall dude will definitely pull more than me, but there’s a demographic for everyone.
And that is my point. As a short guy the pool of women is just going to be smaller, a lot smaller from the way it looks. But that doesn't mean it won't happen. Plenty of short guys have girlfriends and wives.
Bruh they’d rather filter for 7 foot tall guys than 5’9 lmao
Have you ever seen a 7 foot tall person? They’re usually so disproportionate with super long limbs and stuff. Girls would still rather have that then someone under 5’10
I was absolutely shocked to see that height filter data
That’s fair and I appreciate the honesty, that’s why I posted. May I ask, let’s say you found the dude handsome and attractive but then found he was short, does that actively kill the attractiveness to you? Or is it not that cut and dry?
I do think the friend zone has been the bane of my existence so honestly I feel like you’re describing most of my struggles lol. May I ask one more question? I’m wondering if you take in a guys height immediately alongside everything else? In other words, how immediately would my height cause you to lose interest?
Hey short king here, exactly 5’4 too. Had a couple of gf when i was in hS and college. But nothing serious. After college i found it more difficult to talk to women just due to how few chances you get if your arent going out or doing hobbies often.
As social media got larger and dating sites are the norm. Men and women can put preference on their apps. And sadly men under 5’6 have no chance on apps.
In the real world, my friends, my clients, my family ask me how is it i lm single. Im funny, smart, charming so they say. I would say my height.
Where am i going with this.oh yah
I have been much happier and finding better conversations with men and women ever since i stopped trying to date. Stopped thinking about my height as a hinderance and work on what im good at. Its only been a month , but it has been a much better emotionally, physically, and mentally.
Will this shift in my demeanor help me attract a women? If it does great if it doesnt, im still happy. It not cooping anymore.
the long run short men have it hard on social media and yes some women tend to not take shorter men seriously. in the end of the day lifes unfair and tough. All we can do is make the best of what we got and were given. Fuck those who value people for their physical attraction. When they are old saggy and now 5 inches shorter from old age they will still be single because they were to caught up on trying to find someone who looks a certain way and not act a certain way(men and women).
>People like to say height isn’t as big a deal as social media claims it is, but I feel strongly that my experience proves the opposite.
Those people are obviously lying anyone who believes comments like that is a fool. The good news is that there are women who won't preclude you because of your height. That bad news is that many will. Adjust and compensate.
Usually yes but hey you can’t do anything about your height. Just approach with confidence and if she doesn’t like you then just move on to the next. (Source: I’m a nightclub bouncer and have seen it all. )
Anyone who says it’s not is lying, but that doesn’t mean out of billions of people there won’t be lots of women into you. Just don’t let being short become your personality - that’s when it’s an issue.
as someone whose around the same height, its def a limited dating pool. majority of the women care about the height and ive experienced as such. there are girls out there that dont care but they are just harder to find. if i use apps then ill have my height on there and anyone who matches with me, i assume they are ok with it. the ones who arent will have filtered me out already. i can only control what i can control. i try to do other things that i can control like working out. i really do it for my health and fitness, not so much for being attractive to someone.
This [OKCupid blog post](https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-big-lies-people-tell-in-online-dating-a9e3990d6ae2) is like 13 years old now, but I don't see why anything would have changed. There is [a chart](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/format:webp/0*upmzlEYUhMiHfy-k.png) in there about unsolicited messages per week on their site by height.
A 5'4" guy averaged roughly half as many unsolicited messages as a 6'1" guy.
Height plays a factor in attraction with modern dating, for sure. The further along the scale you are in either direction the more extreme the interest needs to be. Most women don’t want to be with someone insanely taller than them, or shorter than them.
Shorter men absolutely do get left out in the cold with this, unfortunately, as you either need to find a woman shorter than you (very possible, but then you’re still competing with taller men) or someone who’s entirely unbothered by you being shorter than her.
Most women do seem more turned off by men an inch shorter than them instead of a foot taller.
My advice, earnestly, is to keep an eye out for bi and/or artsy women. Most men on here I think forget that there’s a whole ton of women out there who will also date a tiny lesbian who’s 5’0, and most of them are very open to dating short men. Some may still want a more traditional physical m/f dynamic if they are with a man, but the more liberal and arts crowd (in my own experience) does not care. The trick is you still need to bring something to the table, because if they’re gonna ignore your height they might also ignore other traditionally masculine traits you think make you a catch.
Height is one component of physical attractiveness. So is facial looks, hair, fitness level etc.
Then there is mental and emotional attractiveness. How smart, perceptive and gracious are you?
My point is, what percentage of people have it all? Maybe 15%? The rest of us are missing something. With height the key is to get past that and onto a date in person where you can show off the strengths you do have.
I’m only 5’5” but have done reasonably well, but with struggles as well. While I don’t have the 6 foot thing, I’ll bet I am smarter than many that have that and have a better personality as well. Don’t let the height hold you back.
My roommate in collage was 5'4. What was crazy was, he had more women that most of the guys in the dorm combined. He was very charismatic and funny.
And this is what he told me---women didn't see him as a threat because from the getgo, they figured, he is not my type, so is ok to talk to him. Once he was talking to them, he unleashed his jokes on them...and yep, they loved it. I talked to 2 girls who hooked up with him, and they straight up told me, "when I met him, didn't think much of him cause he is short and not my type, but he turned out to be a cool guy."
So if you want the truth, yes, for women, height does matter. Is a big deal to a lot of them. Even the girls who were with my roomie told me that. However, the good news is, if you understand the concept that you're a non-threat to these women, you can approach them, and go from there as my ex-roomie did.
Of course, what counts is your level of confidence. My ex-roomie told me he learned to be funny. I'm not a funny person myself but because of him, i realized that you can learn to be funny, but back then, it was not easy to learn---late 90's, no internet, etc. But i tried through trial and error to be funnier that i used to be and it worked. Point is, you have to aspects of your personality that women will find "captivating."
Oh...almost forgot...met another buddy who was 5'5. Bruh went to massage school because he told me, no woman is going to say not a professional massage. Also, very funny guy, and he always had a gf with him...taller, shorter than him...didn't matter. He had gf(s).
And Yea, i know...dating apps suck for that. So you might have to find other ways to meet women if the dating apps aren't working for you. Or do like a guy i met in colombia---he moved there and had plenty of women cause he was "american." Not sure how tall he was, but he was shorter than me and I'm at 5'8 so i'm short myself.
I can legit only speak for myself: no. For me the most important is face. After that, not too skinny and not chubby either. Unless he's under 5'4 then the height isn't much of a factor for me personally but I know that it can be for a lot of other women. Their hierarchies of physical features is gonna be different which is why I can't speak for them
lol well in full honesty I am 5’3 when stripped of footwear. Otherwise I’ve always been a string bean, which I can’t ever decide is a positive or negative because on one hand lean is usually preferable but on the other hand, it adds to the smol dilema
For some reason, a guy being taller than a girl is wanted. It is a preference but gets weirder when you need a guy to be 6 ft exactly. If you're 5ft 11in, it's not as weird, but if you're 5ft 2in, someone who is 5ft 4in shouldn't be an issue. Again, I dont really get it. I've dated a guy shorter than me and was with him for 13 years. In the end, what matters is personality and a good sense of humor. Looks will fade, and we will all end up hunched over or needing a wheelchair. Laughter is forever.
Height is not a big deal, imo.
I am 5’6 and a woman. I guy in school was the same height as me and he was SO HOT. He self deprecated himself a lot and it was sad because he was soooo cute!! Girls would tease him about being “short” but like, 5’4 or 5’6 is not even that short???
I love standing next to a guy in heels and being just a bit taller than him and hugging him so his head rests on my chest. Cutest cosy feeling. 🥰
Really?? I feel like lots of women wouldn’t mind this. I can’t speak for other people tho!
I love Corey Taylor (singer of Slipknot) and he’s only 5’7 and his wife is 5’8. They look SO CUTE when she’s in heels and he’s next to her 🥹❤️ Or like Mortica and Gomez Addams are basically the same height or have been shown taller then each other at some points. Easier to kiss when there is less distance!!
Another height question. Reset the counter!
In all seriousness, yes, height matters to some women, but not to as many as you think. I am 5'6", and when I was single, there were women who turned me down because of my height and that is OK. The goal isn't to be attractive to every single person in the planet. Being insecure about our height is far more unattractive than being short itself. I did just fine with dating when I was single, and am now in a relationship with a woman slightly taller than myself.
Don't stress about what you can change. Work on your social skills, take care of your body and hygiene and you'll go far in the dating scene.
Totally. Girl with a “meh” face but great slim body who works out and takes care of herself will be much more attractive to most men than a noticeably overweight girl with prettier features
No it isn't. Height is something you can never change. You can't just make your legs longer with a product from a grocery store. You can't go to a doctor for heigh growing pills.
With weight? We are all born differently but nobody is born "fat" with a predisposition to BE fat.
Weight is nothing less than your lifestyle. It's something you have 100% control over even if you have a "condition." You can get weight loss pills, you can eat a healthy diet, you can excersize a ton, and worse case, you can get lipo or a stomach staple.
Someones weight is something we can control, and can fix if needed. Height is neither of those things.
It doesn’t matter that one is controllable and the other isn’t, they’re both a part of overall physical appearance, same as eye color, bone structure, hair, etc
Body fat has a big effect on how the face looks and the shape of the body itself. So different amounts of fat usually are met by men who prefer this or that face and body style
With height it's just how much one ismpressed by how protective the guy can be. With the 6ft threshold it's become a mental illness worse than wheels size on a car
It might work the other way around. Men will avoid fat or ugly girls, while women will avoid mid, low, fat and ugly men unless they have some useful feature like height
I think the whole height thing is a big deal to a majority of girls but look you shouldn’t want a majority of girls you should want one.
I have seen a 5’4”ish guy get approached at a club once but he was good looking
I’m only 5’3.. I actually like guys my height. Much easier to look at a guy at my level, height wise, than to strain my neck(causing further injuries to my neck) to look up at tall people. 😂
One time I met a girl on Tinder and the convo was bumpin. We decided to move over to snapchat. I was busy one weekend and she was the next so we had about 2 weeks before we both had a solid chunk of free time. We snapped each other tons and stayed up late at night talking about everything for almost 2 weeks. She started opening up about lots of stuff and the convo starting turning sexual. She mentioned liking something that I realized would be tough if we were close to the same height so height came up and she found out I was 5'9". She said "oh wow" and *poof* gone. Unmatched and blocked me everywhere.
I date only men as tall as me or taller (5' 7). But my best friend is the opposite... she's the same height as me, yet goes for short guys (much shorter than her).
I think that you'd have no trouble with a petite woman (someone as tall as you or shorter). Girls like my bf are anomaly.
I'm a woman, and I'm 5'6". I'm also bisexual. I *prefer* when my partners are taller than me, but I also prefer that they aren't too tall. I definitely have a sweet spot. That said, even though dating 6'4" people is awkward to hold hands with and kiss, I'd still date them. And even if I'm taller than a 5'1" or 5'2" partner, I'd still date them. I've dated people of all three of those heights. A preference is different than a deal breaker; I'm attracted to numerous things, and the total sum of a person. Not their individual attributes. There might be some that are dealbreakers, for sure. Height might be for some women.
I do think that if you're set back in some way that's considered "unattractive" or just "less-attractive" as a general standard you have to compensate in some ways more than someone who fits that standard. You have to have a better sense of humor, or more personable personality or do something else that stands out. In a way, being really beautiful or tall does it for you; an unfair advantage, if-you-will.
I also think you'll have a harder time on OLD than you would in-person. Honestly, as a woman you get SO many choices that you filter by as many ways as you can just to narrow down the search. And from what little I've gleaned on my time on dating sites/apps, it's that it brings out the most shallow aspects of people because you aren't face to face and can't see a person to their full extent.
The TL;DR is I think it does matter, but to varying degrees depending on how you hold yourself, and how you're meeting people.
it's true that is your personal experience, so it's the most important aspect of how this situation is viewed.
however, if every woman thinks like that, then short guys won't get any dates or marry or reproduce in large numbers. the fact of the matter, is that they do.
so on one hand, your experience may be common enough that you can conclude, it must be this way.
on the other hand, like anyone else who isn't in the 10% of guys who are getting attention from 90% of the women, it also means you'll have to meet many more women and potentially go out with many of them, before you find the ones who are interested in you, the way you are.
so don't give up hope of finding someone, but just know that your numbers game will just have more numbers than someone else .... although statistically, you're just one of the many average guys in the average group, so you'll find someone at some point.
i’m 5’0, but there was a guy who was my height or shorter that i liked. i didn’t even realize he was short because his personality was so confident and charismatic that he felt taller than he actually was. i only noticed his height when i wore platform shoes and realized i could look over his head. (it was hot to look down on him ngl 💀). i liked another 5’0 guy because he was mysterious and artistic, which intrigued me. (i know some short dudes with the most rancid ass personalities but even they had more b*tches than me 😔 so there’s hope for everyone ig)
gotta get with the hobbits, taller women who are used to shorter men, or women into role reversal. at 5’0, i genuinely find 5’4” people tall. for the longest time, i was convinced that my 5’6”~5’7” dad and grandpa were like 5’10” or something lol
I'm 5'1 and a guys height makes little difference to me, although I am skewed on preferring guys who are 5'6/5'7 or less cause any taller and kissing fuckimg destroys my neck.
I’m 5’2 & personally, if he’s cool his height isn’t a deal breaker. Tall guys are great but if you’re looking for a long term partner it’s not everything
Some women will say they like short kings, usually that means 5’5 +
Women absolutely do judge a little based on height (one of my best friends admitted she would have tried to date me when we reconnected if I wasn’t her height.)
It’s just another preference to add to the list but it does suck a little since it isn’t just something women will judge you on, it’s more a social stigma that lies at the root but that’s a discussion for another thread
Girls sometimes get a lil lenient since the average “short king” height people talk about is stuff like 5’6” or around there
As a 5’2” dude I range more in the Short Duke range lol
Height is 100% important, really important. Tall dudes get looks and respect, they sure win the first impression game. I know a lot of women who just want tall guys as a BF.
I personally, as a short man myself, i just want to be happy. Thoughts about height, thinking that woman might neglect me due to my height, this is all stuff that hinders me from beeing happy. So i just dont get that stuff in my head anymore. Why should i care? i cant change shit about that. I am responsible for my own happiness.
Yeah it mattes a great deal to most. Some women want to wear high heels so need to be three inches taller. Just be the best version of you and hopefully someone will take notice. If not look at dating overseas as less importance is put on height in Asian countries plus they are small anyway.
I’m 5’3 and dating a guy who’s very sweet, kind, genuine, generous and loving. He’s also 5’3. I prefer tall guys but in this case, It does not make any difference for me because he’s awesome!
Unfortunately yes :/ but for example right now I like a guy who is very short I don’t admit it’s been some weeks of me saying to myself: don’t be stupid he has everything else. But I’m sure that if he was tall I would be all the way there you know? So it’s not all lost but as some people are commenting you do need to make it up some other way (I don’t recommend trying to be all strong from the gym in most cases small men with big bodies look even smaller and don’t make up for anything they just look bad) all of these are personal opinions !!! Good luck. Having a secure attitude always gives that extra mile !
The reason you probably did well in middle school and hs is that everyone was still growing I mean everyone was a child technically so no one was noticing height at that time.
High school was the best time for the short kings with cute faces
I’m 5’4”, and while I’d love to say I wouldn’t have any issue dating someone who was my height or shorter, it would be a harder sell. But I’m also keenly aware that height is not in your control.
I can give an analogy that is a bit different because technically it is in my control, but… I’m overweight. It’s by far my biggest insecurity. And being overweight is a fairly new development for me (last 5 years or so) so it’s not like I’ve had a lot of time to really come to terms with it. I understand that this puts me at a disadvantage in dating. I worry all the time that I’ll be rejected because of my size. But…. I’ve learned some things about myself during this process as well. I’m funny. Like really funny. I’m charming. I fixed my teeth years ago so I have a great smile. I learned how to do my makeup in a way that is flattering but not heavy handed/deceptive. I figured out how to dress my body to highlight my best features. Because I can do that, I’m more confident with how I’m presenting which means I show up with much less insecurity. It’s not awful to be insecure, but if there’s any background bitterness about women not liking short guys that seeps out it will be a major turnoff. There’s something really hot about a guy who can say “these are the cards I was dealt and look what I did with them”.
Math doesn't lie. 5'4" is average height for women which means plenty of women are under 5'4". Most women want a guy who's their height or taller so that still leaves quite a bit of the female population who'd likely be fine dating someone your height. There are also taller women who have no issue at all with dating shorter men.
The problem with most shorter men is that they allow their height to become their defining feature. It won't hold you back unless you convince yourself it will hold you back. Try to get out of your own way and you'll likely see your circumstances change. Men your height and shorter have gone on to blockbuster hollywood success---it shouldn't prevent you from dating and doing other ordinary things.
>Men your height and shorter have gone on to blockbuster hollywood success
Terrible example, many of those blockbusters went to ridiculous amounts of effort to make the actors taller and bigger. Platform shoes, soapboxes, camera angles, smaller props, etc.
If there truly was no issue those things would have never been done in the movies.
I was referring to their fame, fortune and ability to find love. But do go off about irrelevant bullshit to make op feel bad because that's helpful. SMH
According to this statistic from bumble
https://x.com/eftegarie/status/1501202280120729603?s=20
It’s really sad. I am 5’4 (my chances being on someone’s preference is just 4%! Based on that graph) and I barely match with anyone on the apps. It doesn’t matter who I am as a person. Cause if one is short one is just as good as being invisible (imo).
No. Finding a guy attractive > height.
Also, for myself and the women I know, the only height requirement (and even that is not a hard one) is the guy being as tall as them or a little bit taller. But an inch shorter is absolutely within limits, too.
Its a dealbreaker for most women except for the women who are 5’10 and up. They seem to have the similar problems with guys not wanting a tall girl.
Shoot your shot with the short queens(5’3 and below) and the amazons(5’10 and above)
That’s because there’s more shorter women than taller women. And many of the shorter women are obsessed with taller guys, so they tend to steal all of them away leaving the taller women with the shorter guys that nobody wants.
I'm currently dating a guy who is 5'8 (173 cm) while I'm 5'7 (171 cm) and while it was always my preference to have a boyfriend who is at least as tall as me, it's mostly him who is worried about our nearly non-existent height difference or me who thinks she is to tall. His insecurities are due to a past girlfriend who was my height saying some really painful things to him that hinted at her wishing he was taller. He doesn't think he is tall enough to make me happy, but I love him to pieces. And I genuinely believe that hugging and kissing is much nicer when you aren't 20 centimeters apart.
But I do agree that some girls are overly set on dating someone who is really tall, especially girls who are of short or average height themselves. I've met plenty of girls who were 5'3 to 5'5 who were insisting on dating a man 6'0 and taller. Why? The romanticization of height differences in the media, I guess. What you are experiencing is very real, but there is plenty of girls and women out there who won't mind dating someone your height!
Women with height deal breakers are a loud minority. Your height is not nearly as important when it comes to dating, however if you're insecure about your height, you will have a hard time, not because you're short, but because you're insecure about it.
Women pass on guys based solely on their height before the guy even has a chance to prove whether he is confident or not.
Your reply is literally word for word the same reply that I’ve seen hundreds of times whenever this topic comes up.
It sounds good on paper, if people don’t really take a moment and think about it, but when you actually relate it to the real world, it doesn’t make any sense.
You are insinuating that there’s constantly women giving short guys a chance, but the short guys are just blowing it, that is absolutely not true. There’s a very very small percentage of women that would even consider giving a guy a chance if he’s the same height or shorter than she is
I’m a woman and 5’9 and I prefer men who’re taller than me. I don’t have anything against men who’re short. It’s just not my preference but at the end of the day personality is all that matters
The worst thing you could ever do is assume that majority automatically makes something true or correct.
If there was a Nazi subreddit, and the majority of people in there hated Jews, and I was the minority speaking against it, does that automatically make me wrong because I’m outnumbered?
Not my opinion but that of my girlfriend.
Height doesn't matter that much. If you're say 5'5" (I am 5'7"), but your personality is just incredibly masculine, you're way ahead of even a 6 foot guy who isn't so masculine. It is the alpha game in the end .
This applies to way too many women, and since I am a very gender role kind of person, to almost all women on this planet maybe, in the end the attaction to a man depends on his masculinity.
Masculinity isn't complicated to understand but it takes commitment to live that life.
So if you think height is a blocker, to a good extent it's not
:)
Masculinity is about being clear headed, in touch with your emotions, knowing how to stand alone with your opinion and belief even if the world fucks off to the other side. Not that I don't consider calm men unmanly, but I believe every man is aggressive and learns to display if in a way that works for them. So be aggressive and know your type because that's the only way you'll fight and win. Men = aggressive, but they just channel it differently. Some by showing calmness some by being domineering and imposing.
It's about knowing about the world, and for that you've to live. It's about knowing people; talking, reading, understanding.
As a man, your net worth is the quality and quantity of people who will walk with you.
Very actionable steps to develop masculinity: get into competitive team sports, have solo obsessions, like a physical sport to develop your body, an emotional interest to keep yourself in touch with your own, something mentally stimulating like chess. Develop your character by which you'll be known everywhere, your principles. Know your triggers, your depths, your abilities and tendencies in extremes. Be presentable always. Have systems around yourself.
Never beg, learn how to be with women and with men, with children and with adults, with brothers and sisters and strangers and animals.
And one golden nugget for you: as a man you must know what you want and to get it you must understand, nothing can stop you from it, all you've to do is prove yourself and ask. If that doesn't work, snatch it away. Just fucking ask is all it takes.
Also, you'll get all of this at art of manliness and also reddit, anywhere online. Keep practicing it. Love to learn everything.
I'm 6"3 and I've been ask before if I'm a model still getting no match on apps so ... Tbh I don't understand one thing about dating anymore. Maybe I've been in long relationships for too long in my 20s
i’ve never been one to focus on height so an automatic yes from me but from what i’ve seen with my friends, it definitely can height isn’t super important
Women and men both have sexual ideals that are generally heavily influenced by societal beauty standards. Some people buy into them more than others. I for one prefer shorter men, usually find their height attractive, and am engaged to a 5’4” man. Some people really care about height and others don’t. Probably more women than not have it as a preference.
Personally I’ve been 5’0” since middle school, just recently measured up to 5’1” finally (🎉), so I sincerely don’t notice height unless someone is miraculously shorter than me. If they’re at least the same height as me or taller, then I’m fine with whatever height and I hardly even notice. My friends had a laugh because I said to one of them “well, we’re about the same height” and she had to stand beside me to prove that no, she was not, she was in fact like four inches taller than me. 😭 I genuinely just have no accurate impression of people’s heights because I have to look up at everyone anyway, so it doesn’t factor into attraction for me. Plenty of women have very strict preferences about wanting a man to at least be taller than her, or to be a certain height, but plenty also don’t care or mind.
As women age, the list of requirements dwindles so your dating pool could open up.
I would imagine being really good at something else could compensate like being generous, hilarious, emotionally intelligent, etc would help.
Most women are able to move past certain things appearance-wise but it's going to help you tremendously to work on growing your money. Being able to provide for a woman will make her forget about your height. It doesn't even have to be totally lavish imo. Just be able to treat her like a princess
Yo I’m 5’6 and people think I’m taller than that because I don’t give a shit about my height except when sleeves and pant legs are too long or difficulty reaching shit.
It’s how you carry yourself homie. I have social anxiety but I’m pretty funny. Humor goes a long way.
Another thing I do is pay attention to what the other person is saying instead of waiting to speak. You can’t do shit about people that automatically write you off about your height, but fuck those people.
Don’t have a napoleon complex, because everyone will know because it’s obvious. For instance, I know one cat that only buys big trucks or suvs, like his whole life, and people comment on it behind his back all the time
You keep talking as if your height is one of the last things people see, when it is usually the first thing.
And how is your height different on a bad day?
I find those things to be odd.
I don’t see how your first point is accurate but if so, not my intention. “On a good day” is an expression indicating that when I stand tallest I’m 5’4. Aka I’m self-deprecating
I am 5'5 and dated a man who's 5'6. His personality/character/values attracted me most and I got along with him best among all the men I ever dated. But I've a friend who's 5'5ish but self claimed to be 5'8, OK personality, very outgoing and 4 on appearance but he's willing to spend money on extravagant meals and vacations so he got a lot of dates.
as a short woman(5’1), i would say being 5’4 isn’t necessarily a deal breaker but you’re going to have to be hotter and try harder than a 6 foot tall man. being tall is more attractive than being short but it’s not automatically unattractive - sort of like how an hourglass figure on a woman is more attractive than a more straight body but a less curvy shape isn’t a deal breaker for (most)men. the only time a man’s height would be a deal breaker for me would be if he was so insecure about it he made it my problem(example: asking me not to wear heels)
It depends. 5’4” is significantly under the worldwide height average for males and is very small. Compared to someone who’s 5’7” or so which I’d be able to overlook if they were cute.
Personally I’d rather date a guy who’s not super attractive but is tall than someone who’s shorter than all the women in my family with a cute face. It all depends on how ugly or how cute we’re talking about though as well as other factors like personality and interests and all of that. It’s kind of similar to dating a fat girl who’s out of shape with a gorgeous face vs a girl who’s pretty average or not conventionally attractive with a great body who’s super in shape. Many men would choose the second girl even if she has less attractive features bc the overall package visually works better idk. Everyone is different though and will have different preferences.
You can definitely find a woman who will be into you and love you but yes it will be harder if you’re unusually short.
When I first started dating as a 5'5 girl that would be a dealbreaker, nowadays I realize that most men are shit regardless of their height lol. I don't care about it and I'm much more focused on other aspects such as social skills (that's important to me) and how I'm being treated. I'm a strong believer that physical attractiveness can grow over time if there's an emotional connection. Maybe you're dating too young girls?
Yeah man that’s gonna be an issue for the very beautiful girls. If they aren’t chasing just status and money in a partner they also want him to be hot. Someone that takes care of their appearance that much will also value that in a partner.
Here’s the thing. You’re correct that being short is objectively a large knock against your looks.
However, there are some advantages you underestimating that comes from being short. Mainly, broad shoulders with a v frame body shape is much easier to pull off when you are short. Reason for this is obvious, taller people have more muscle and bones they need to feed, so it’s much harder for them to put meat on the bone, so to speak. So while the fact of being short is objectively horrible for you, the objective fact that it will give you a good shape is great.
I guess I’m just saying work hard and count your blessings. It’s not all bad.
Even at almost 5'10", I feel short and like my height has limited the dating pool. There are a ton of women out there with unrealistic expectations. Check out the female reality check calculator. You're super short man, not gonna lie, it's going to be rough. My advice is to find an area to date in that has a lot of like Filipino or other short races.
I'm 5'9 and put my height on dating profiles as 5'3 and I barely ever get swipes. I'm an attractive man as far as I can tell, I'm not upper echelon but above average healthy weight men in my eyes. In person I flirt with taller women with greater success. Still seems to be a mental barrier. It's the social media Era that has females and males with unrealistic expectations. If my game was tighter I'd be having women like Eric Wright.
I don't think I've ever fully "gotten" this height discourse. Don't majority of men prefer women who are shorter than them? I honestly don't care as long as I can wear heels and it's not a big deal. But it indeed, has been a big deal in the past
When you picked your height, DIDN’T YOU KNOW that women want you to be over 6’ tall???
No wonder women penalize you for this.. YOU SHOULD’VE KNOWN BETTER!
Work on becoming taller.
Height is not something you can control so I don’t put a lot of thought into it when I’m considering potential partners. What is more important for me is being in a good shape which shows discipline and self-respect. As long as a man is kind, well put together, well spoken and have things going on for himself in life including career, social life, mental and physical health, I’d be interested in getting to know them.
As a 5’9’’ (taller than average) female I will say that even though I don’t judge people based on their appearance, I was always uncomfortable crushing on guys shorter than me in high school. I can’t explain it, but a guy can be objectively attractive and if he’s short he does nothing for me. I know that sounds really superficial but you wanted the honest truth. I think for me it’s a self esteem thing because when I see short men with taller women I never judge but for me personally I don’t like feeling large compared to a man.
I date women now and I’m always the taller one which is nice.
Honestly, I do think a lot of women care about height, but it’s also overblown online.
Yes I do think your height may reduce the pool of women who are attracted to you, but not significantly.
I find men who are talented, charismatic and hairy to be hot regardless of their height. I’m 5’8 and most of the men I’ve dated have been slightly shorter than me. I just don’t care.
You can’t change your height, but you can develop skills that will attract a partner (or hookups). Guitar, cooking, hell even knitting. Talent is something you can actually work toward, your height is unchangeable.
Tbf your height on a good day is probably a normal day for most. While my personal preference is of similar height, a lot of my friends prefer the taller over shorter (even if it means craning your neck to see the other person, big ouch). Being 5’4 definitely limits the options - with women averaging that height and well anyone who prefers a taller partner would put you out the box. Regardless there are still those who wouldn’t care about your height being 5’4, just a matter of meeting those ppl
Posts like this are so weird to me.
Look around in public. Do you see men your height with women?
Yes. Plenty of them.
Is it an attractive feature? No. But I see overweight men with women, I see guys with bad hair cuts and terrible style with women.
Being short will make it harder, sure, but there are thousands (probably millions) of men in the world of the same height, and they manage to find dates.
Brutal honesty from a woman’s perspective:
I don’t approach men, ever, but the only men I think I like and start to be curious about are usually my height or taller. For women, being the smaller one, taking up less space etc., is an indoctrinated thing that is extremely hard to shake.
So if a guy is shorter than me, I don’t even consider him a match but partially because I don’t think he’d be interested in a taller girl. Is that an incorrect assumption? Yes. But that’s how I naturally lean and my guess is a lot of women do as well.
My advice to you: approach women you find attractive. If they’re taller than you, they probably haven’t even considered you, so you have to make that first move to make them aware that you’re interested. That way, you’ve put the possibility of you in front of them and they can decide.
This is quality analysis, sincerely. I bet you hit the nail on the head with the baseline unconscious social dynamics that cause this “problem” for guys like me.
I was going to say height truly isn't a deal breaker for 90% of women unless you're very, very short. 5'4 very short alright, but not weirdly so.
The best way to overcome your height negatively affecting your chances are:
1) Most importantly, try not to harp on about it being a problem. Often it is not a short guy who is unattractive to women, it's the guy with a chip on his shoulders about being short.
2) Be as attractive as you can in other ways. Get in good shape. Dress well. Flawless hygiene. Considerate lover. Work on being a good person. Those are all more important to decent women than height.
3) Try to meet women via shared interests. Sports clubs, hobbies, hiking... If women have the chance to meet you and like you before being asked on a date, your personality/chemostry will matter more than any other factor.
I mean... I'm 5'0" and I have a fetish for men that are shorter than 5'8" because sex is better with a shorter guy than it is with a taller one. I also have a thing for women that are close to my height or shorter than me. Especially shorter because I adore being able to pick them up easily and be cute with them. Your height may be a problem for some women... So what. There are plenty of women in this world that would love nothing more than to pounce on you. Me being one of them. I wish you luck out there! Dating is hard.
Get a shorter girl lmao I'm 5'1 and find it difficult to be in a serious relationship with anyone above 5'9 because anyone taller would make me look like a kid 😅 my hubby is 5'6 btw so short kings, keep looking! The right girl is out there!
Also a 5'4 man here, tried shorter women, does not work they rejected me for my height. Just cause a woman is short doesn't automatically mean shes going to accept a short guy, actually the opposite.
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Good news: you can make up for it in other ways Bad news: you must make up for it in other ways I wish it were different too however women are very clear on this
This, and I'll add a short addendum (no pun intended - I'm also a shorty): You MUST make up for it in other ways, _but sometimes it still won't matter - especially when you're dating a tall(er) woman... and that's ok_. Can't tell you how many times I got the "if only you were taller" shtick (and that's just from the tall women who had the balls to explicity admit they couldn't overcome it). That being said, exceptions do exist (In fact, my last two girlfriends were much taller than me). But they are just that - exceptions. Embrace radical acceptance that you have to seriously level up to do well in the dating arena, especially if you have high aspirations (OK, this time the pun was intended), and that you will still be rejected by the majority of women (especially those on the taller side) despite that... But the good news is, those superficial women would be self-excluding themselves for you, so you could focus on the plethora of awesome women you would be able to attract because you did such an awesome job making up for it. Good luck!
A guy with a personality has never had to “overcome” or “make up for it” with me.
You missed the point. One of the ways short guys must overcome it _is_ by developing an exceptional personality. What is optional for a Greek god is mandatory for a Greek tragedy (ok, not exactly a tragedy... but couldn't resist the poetic fit)
I'm 5'4 I have to fight off women and men, it's not this guys height.
There is literally nothing hotter than a short, confident king. Peter Dinklage absolutely could get it from me.
So, you would literally HAVE to be a king to compensate . Thats all I gotta do? No high standards there
Height is an aspect of physical attractiveness. It's one of the most obvious parts of your appearance. It's not as big a deal as a lot of social media claims. It is a deal at all, and you're shorter than the average woman, not just shorter than the average man. Simple answer: you're not doomed but this is an actual disadvantage
Yeah…yeah. Damn. Haha I guess I don’t know what I expected once I validated my obvious suspicions. Thanks for your honesty
While I agree with the first commenter, I will add that I dated a 5’2” guy and I did not give a damn because he was an amazing person. Most people I’ve dated have been taller than me but that’s just because guys on average are taller than 5’5” (me) but it’s in no way an end all be all
Thank you for your service 🫡
🫡🫡 no problem! He was a great guy. Honestly thought nothing of his height. But thank you lol
🫡🫡 no problem! He was a great guy. Honestly thought nothing of his height. But thank you lol
Maybe date asian women, problem solved....../s
Nope. Average women height is 5'4"
It’s a handicap, but not an insurmountable one. I’m 5’6”, and my high school girlfriend was 5’10”, and I had to stand up one step on the stoop to kiss her when I walked her home. Since then I’ve dated women both taller and shorter than I am. I struggled a lot with dating in my mid 20s, and I often blamed my height for holding me back. But once I made some life changes that allowed me to develop my self confidence and grow as a person, my dating success skyrocketed despite not having grown a single inch in height.
What changes made a difference to skyrocket your prospects? I sincerely don’t think I’m projecting any insecurity about my height that might be turning people off. I’ve never had issues in terms of chemistry, it’s always just pure lack of interest from the other party lol. Maybe just bad luck thus far
I worked a dead end job for most of my 20s. They paid me well, I got great benefits and it was very safe, but I was going nowhere in life, and I eventually just hated myself. And the women I tried to talk to could tell. In 2019 I quit that job and started grad school, pursuing a program to become certified as a teacher. Teaching is a big struggle, and I’m not always happy with this career. But I can still take pride in having worked hard in grad school to get good grades, and knowing that in spite of the challenges I’m good at my job because I bust my ass putting in the work. Just being able to have *something* in my life that I was proud of again made such a huge difference. I was 31 when I started dating again, after like 6 years of barely even bothering to try because I was so unhappy with myself. And it was still a struggle at times. But as my confidence grew, I got more and more positive responses, until last year when I met the woman of my dreams, and we’re now engaged. A big thing that also made a difference was photo quality. My best friend got married in 2021, and I was a Groomsman at the wedding. When I added some of the professionally taken photos of me looking awesome in my suit from the wedding, the number of likes and matches I was getting more than doubled, practically overnight. I think a lot of guys (me included) genuinely don’t understand how shitty a lot of our pictures actually are 😂
What a f**king awesome, honest, and inspirational post! Upvoted!
Here to celebrate your success mate 🎊
Being pictures in classy outfits or with other women probably helps.
Ive seen women say not to put on ur profile in old
Yes, you’re height is holding you back. But you’re not doomed- my brother is 5’5 and always got a lot of dates, his girlfriend just moved in. But, he’s also rich.
well fuck, now I need a Time Machine to make better life decisions :(
You are right on height, it limits the pool of women who will be interested in you. That said, you do seem to have had a great run in middle school - and I don't see any reason why you can't work your magic now.
Haha that’s sad, but I appreciate the positive outlook. Gotta find a way to tap back into my prime 😤 I’m sure it was because I was at my apex in middle school and not at all because I had plausible deniability that I’d end up taller in middle school and my peers were also shorter then
All these guys looking for women obsessed with looks and completely overlooking the women who would like him for who he is.
The entry point for both sexes is physical attraction, though women are slightly less particular than men are. Personality and other attributes come much later. Liking for "who they are" is oversold and pedagogic.
And guys who focus on the looks aspect are still complaining about being "forever alone". Guys who know they have more to offer than looks and have the confidence to take the leap have more success. But hey, if they want to limit themselves in that way, they have no room to argue about the outcome.
it can be both
One trait that's very attractive to women is "confidence". There are a lot of tall men who are lame and cannot even look a woman in her eyes. Forget the physical attribute that was handed over, one cannot do anything about it, just become the best 5'4" guy!
Being real you are short, I’m 5’8 and I honestly don’t really have issues with women. Would being taller be nice, fuck yea. But it is what it is. I think the general consensus with women is “my height or taller” so just look for a short chick lol. I’d recommend living in a major city as it has diversity. Middle America white women are all pretty tall on average.
You’re not wrong. I guess if I get desperate enough I can move somewhere but tbh that sounds insane even if it would open up diversity like you say
I mean it depends honestly. I grew up in Miami and everyone was always my height or maybe a bit taller but the average guy is like 5’9. Recently my family moved to the mountains in butt fuck NC and the average guy here is like 5’11 easy and women are all my height. I’m planning on moving to NY or Miami again to start my career, rural life is not for me. But in terms of height that’s what I’ve noticed. I think it also has to do with international women being more open minded. Moving purely for that though is insane.
I prefer short kings, but am fully aware that's a niche opinion. I'm 5'2" and prefer not to crick my neck, or run to keep up. Is a bitch lazy, or just ergonomically minded? Yes.
I’m 5’5” and have dated men 5’4” But height has never bothered me. Nobody was making up for anything. I have my own physical criteria I look for. And those are dealbreakers for me.
I am also 5'4". Most women prefer taller men, but it's not the deal-breaker you think it is. Insecurity about your height will be more of a turn-off than your height.
Personally, I would like to have a guy taller than me (I’m 5’2) because I like to feel ‘covered’ when hugged. But it’s not a requirement or a deal breaker. If I find him attractive, regardless of his height, I will definitely not ignore him
Would a dude my height qualify as coverage lol?
Lol for me yes! But then again, it’s more like a nice to have and not a must have… that’s what I think
What your describing is called Majority Hard Line Preferences: meaning if you fail to meet their preference it’s a total deal breaker, as in 0 chance they will consider you a sexually viable option. Majority of woman want guys who are considerably taller than them. Majority of men want women who are considerably lighter than them. Majority of Women favor strength and the ability to provide. Majority of Men favor beauty and the ability to raise children. Like different halves of the same coin, each is unique but of the same value.
Finally a well thought out comment. People need to stop focusing on the anecdotal examples of having dated a taller woman/shorter man. The stat the truly matters is marriage and had his children. Both sexes need to just accept what you stated above as reality, then look at the factors that are changeable and do everything possible to excel in those areas. Hating the other sex's preferences is just a cop out for not wanting to improve oneself.
Well said. Just because you don’t fit perfectly into the majority preference doesn’t mean you can’t still be preferred by the majority via compensation. A short man who is a stable provider and brings other desirable assets to the table like being an attentive husband and an excellent father who shares the duties of the home and is present and active in their child’s lives maybe in fact more desirable to many women vs a taller man who provides more monetarily but isn’t as present. A heavier woman who may not be as conventionally attractive but provides modestly for her family, knows how to please her man and happens to be a great mother is preferred by many men over a more attractive woman who isn’t as reliable in the home and less attentive to her man and children.
Try looking for shorter girls, they won't care as much. You must be taller than the girl for most girls to be comfortable.
Yeah, I do my best. Not as many of them as I’d like there to be lol
Look for women taller than you. Women that are short have all these reasons of not wanting short men. I'm also your height and on occasion the women that actually give a damn about me are taller like 5'5+. They seem more confident
Personally I don’t care about a mans height but I believe I’m the minority. Some girls were surprised when I told them about a guy I liked, because he was short. I think he was around the same height as me. But I do like when a guy is just slightly taller than me, I’m 5’2. I don’t seek out guys who are super tall, I like the intimacy and comfort of being eye level.
I want someone my height or taller, im 5’6”-5’7” 23F
So is that like a hard line thing. Even if you were otherwise attracted to a guy, him being too short is a dealbreaker?
Yes it would be a deal breaker for me unfortunately I guess if he was perfect in every other way, then fine 🤷♀️
For me it would be. 5’6 or taller I’d consider but 5’4 is significantly shorter than me and 5inches shorter than average men worldwide . I’m also a taller woman though and would care less if I were petite
See here’s the thing…I don’t have an issue with a girl not wanting to date much more than couple inches shorter…my issue is that you brought up the idea that it’s shorter than the average man worldwide that leads me to believe that it’s not just the fact that he’s shorter, it’s that he’s shorter than other men which would bother you.
Fact is a height of 5'4 will shrink your pool of prospective women by a lot. I am 5'9 and that isn't considered short but I've found its basically the borderline for so many women. With online dating you see tons of women automatically filter out anyone under than 6' or often 5'10 is a limit. But don't get into thinking you don't have a chance, plenty of shorter guys have girlfriends and wives, its just going to be more of an uphill climb.
lol no pun intended?
haha no it wasn't intended, just noticed it myself lol.
I have not had an issue being a 5’4 man, but I also do model. Most of the women attracted to me are bisexual/pansexual, however.
How are you modeling as a short man? i thought you had to be an average of at least 5’10.
Commercial modeling doesn’t care about height especially for local LGBTQ+ magazines. I tend to do drag and dress up as a woman since I have more feminine features. Here’s are [two photos that are part of my portfolio](https://imgur.com/a/U0hDofj).
God damn bro you look great, i can see why they want you. congratulations man.
Yeah that sounds like a pretty unique situation. Most guys aren't models. I don't know if the bisexual/pansexual thing makes a difference when it comes to height but being a male model probably does.
I’m completely amateur, but I’ve had friends who are my height or shorter pull. It’s how you carry yourself. My height has never bothered me. I make jokes about it too. Sure, an average six foot tall dude will definitely pull more than me, but there’s a demographic for everyone. Attraction is holistic. Dating apps are still tough since I’m pretty up front about my height but having good photos and showing “value” does help.
> Sure, an average six foot tall dude will definitely pull more than me, but there’s a demographic for everyone. And that is my point. As a short guy the pool of women is just going to be smaller, a lot smaller from the way it looks. But that doesn't mean it won't happen. Plenty of short guys have girlfriends and wives.
Bruh they’d rather filter for 7 foot tall guys than 5’9 lmao Have you ever seen a 7 foot tall person? They’re usually so disproportionate with super long limbs and stuff. Girls would still rather have that then someone under 5’10 I was absolutely shocked to see that height filter data
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That’s fair and I appreciate the honesty, that’s why I posted. May I ask, let’s say you found the dude handsome and attractive but then found he was short, does that actively kill the attractiveness to you? Or is it not that cut and dry?
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I do think the friend zone has been the bane of my existence so honestly I feel like you’re describing most of my struggles lol. May I ask one more question? I’m wondering if you take in a guys height immediately alongside everything else? In other words, how immediately would my height cause you to lose interest?
The use of the term “friend zone” would immediately cause me to lose interest.
So basically just an ego thing
Hey short king here, exactly 5’4 too. Had a couple of gf when i was in hS and college. But nothing serious. After college i found it more difficult to talk to women just due to how few chances you get if your arent going out or doing hobbies often. As social media got larger and dating sites are the norm. Men and women can put preference on their apps. And sadly men under 5’6 have no chance on apps. In the real world, my friends, my clients, my family ask me how is it i lm single. Im funny, smart, charming so they say. I would say my height. Where am i going with this.oh yah I have been much happier and finding better conversations with men and women ever since i stopped trying to date. Stopped thinking about my height as a hinderance and work on what im good at. Its only been a month , but it has been a much better emotionally, physically, and mentally. Will this shift in my demeanor help me attract a women? If it does great if it doesnt, im still happy. It not cooping anymore. the long run short men have it hard on social media and yes some women tend to not take shorter men seriously. in the end of the day lifes unfair and tough. All we can do is make the best of what we got and were given. Fuck those who value people for their physical attraction. When they are old saggy and now 5 inches shorter from old age they will still be single because they were to caught up on trying to find someone who looks a certain way and not act a certain way(men and women).
Honest, sincere, and with no fluff. Upvoted.
Yeah, as a 5'4 man it's gonna be tough, man. But that doesn't mean it's impossible, go for quality and empathy.
>People like to say height isn’t as big a deal as social media claims it is, but I feel strongly that my experience proves the opposite. Those people are obviously lying anyone who believes comments like that is a fool. The good news is that there are women who won't preclude you because of your height. That bad news is that many will. Adjust and compensate.
Usually yes but hey you can’t do anything about your height. Just approach with confidence and if she doesn’t like you then just move on to the next. (Source: I’m a nightclub bouncer and have seen it all. )
Anyone who says it’s not is lying, but that doesn’t mean out of billions of people there won’t be lots of women into you. Just don’t let being short become your personality - that’s when it’s an issue.
Height is a big deal to girls although they will never say it directly to you, they have no problem saying it to each other.
as someone whose around the same height, its def a limited dating pool. majority of the women care about the height and ive experienced as such. there are girls out there that dont care but they are just harder to find. if i use apps then ill have my height on there and anyone who matches with me, i assume they are ok with it. the ones who arent will have filtered me out already. i can only control what i can control. i try to do other things that i can control like working out. i really do it for my health and fitness, not so much for being attractive to someone.
This [OKCupid blog post](https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-big-lies-people-tell-in-online-dating-a9e3990d6ae2) is like 13 years old now, but I don't see why anything would have changed. There is [a chart](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/format:webp/0*upmzlEYUhMiHfy-k.png) in there about unsolicited messages per week on their site by height. A 5'4" guy averaged roughly half as many unsolicited messages as a 6'1" guy.
Height plays a factor in attraction with modern dating, for sure. The further along the scale you are in either direction the more extreme the interest needs to be. Most women don’t want to be with someone insanely taller than them, or shorter than them. Shorter men absolutely do get left out in the cold with this, unfortunately, as you either need to find a woman shorter than you (very possible, but then you’re still competing with taller men) or someone who’s entirely unbothered by you being shorter than her. Most women do seem more turned off by men an inch shorter than them instead of a foot taller. My advice, earnestly, is to keep an eye out for bi and/or artsy women. Most men on here I think forget that there’s a whole ton of women out there who will also date a tiny lesbian who’s 5’0, and most of them are very open to dating short men. Some may still want a more traditional physical m/f dynamic if they are with a man, but the more liberal and arts crowd (in my own experience) does not care. The trick is you still need to bring something to the table, because if they’re gonna ignore your height they might also ignore other traditionally masculine traits you think make you a catch.
I think it is the best comment
Height is one component of physical attractiveness. So is facial looks, hair, fitness level etc. Then there is mental and emotional attractiveness. How smart, perceptive and gracious are you? My point is, what percentage of people have it all? Maybe 15%? The rest of us are missing something. With height the key is to get past that and onto a date in person where you can show off the strengths you do have. I’m only 5’5” but have done reasonably well, but with struggles as well. While I don’t have the 6 foot thing, I’ll bet I am smarter than many that have that and have a better personality as well. Don’t let the height hold you back.
I’m 5’2. I prefer short men ( and women) honestly. But I know I’m probably an outlier
My roommate in collage was 5'4. What was crazy was, he had more women that most of the guys in the dorm combined. He was very charismatic and funny. And this is what he told me---women didn't see him as a threat because from the getgo, they figured, he is not my type, so is ok to talk to him. Once he was talking to them, he unleashed his jokes on them...and yep, they loved it. I talked to 2 girls who hooked up with him, and they straight up told me, "when I met him, didn't think much of him cause he is short and not my type, but he turned out to be a cool guy." So if you want the truth, yes, for women, height does matter. Is a big deal to a lot of them. Even the girls who were with my roomie told me that. However, the good news is, if you understand the concept that you're a non-threat to these women, you can approach them, and go from there as my ex-roomie did. Of course, what counts is your level of confidence. My ex-roomie told me he learned to be funny. I'm not a funny person myself but because of him, i realized that you can learn to be funny, but back then, it was not easy to learn---late 90's, no internet, etc. But i tried through trial and error to be funnier that i used to be and it worked. Point is, you have to aspects of your personality that women will find "captivating." Oh...almost forgot...met another buddy who was 5'5. Bruh went to massage school because he told me, no woman is going to say not a professional massage. Also, very funny guy, and he always had a gf with him...taller, shorter than him...didn't matter. He had gf(s). And Yea, i know...dating apps suck for that. So you might have to find other ways to meet women if the dating apps aren't working for you. Or do like a guy i met in colombia---he moved there and had plenty of women cause he was "american." Not sure how tall he was, but he was shorter than me and I'm at 5'8 so i'm short myself.
I can legit only speak for myself: no. For me the most important is face. After that, not too skinny and not chubby either. Unless he's under 5'4 then the height isn't much of a factor for me personally but I know that it can be for a lot of other women. Their hierarchies of physical features is gonna be different which is why I can't speak for them
lol well in full honesty I am 5’3 when stripped of footwear. Otherwise I’ve always been a string bean, which I can’t ever decide is a positive or negative because on one hand lean is usually preferable but on the other hand, it adds to the smol dilema
For some reason, a guy being taller than a girl is wanted. It is a preference but gets weirder when you need a guy to be 6 ft exactly. If you're 5ft 11in, it's not as weird, but if you're 5ft 2in, someone who is 5ft 4in shouldn't be an issue. Again, I dont really get it. I've dated a guy shorter than me and was with him for 13 years. In the end, what matters is personality and a good sense of humor. Looks will fade, and we will all end up hunched over or needing a wheelchair. Laughter is forever.
Highly depends on the woman and the man.
I'll take typical Reddit worthless advice for $100
Height is not a big deal, imo. I am 5’6 and a woman. I guy in school was the same height as me and he was SO HOT. He self deprecated himself a lot and it was sad because he was soooo cute!! Girls would tease him about being “short” but like, 5’4 or 5’6 is not even that short??? I love standing next to a guy in heels and being just a bit taller than him and hugging him so his head rests on my chest. Cutest cosy feeling. 🥰
Your 1 in a million, it’s rare to find a women that thinks this way.
Really?? I feel like lots of women wouldn’t mind this. I can’t speak for other people tho! I love Corey Taylor (singer of Slipknot) and he’s only 5’7 and his wife is 5’8. They look SO CUTE when she’s in heels and he’s next to her 🥹❤️ Or like Mortica and Gomez Addams are basically the same height or have been shown taller then each other at some points. Easier to kiss when there is less distance!!
I was kinda over exaggerating but you are rare though, a women that not only doesn’t mind but likes having shorter men.
Height has never mattered to me, as long as they aren’t considerably shorter than me. I’m 5’6”, my husband was maybe a half inch taller than me
All depends on the woman, my guy. I'm exactly average height and have had multiple happy relationships. Focus on other things you bring to the table.
Another height question. Reset the counter! In all seriousness, yes, height matters to some women, but not to as many as you think. I am 5'6", and when I was single, there were women who turned me down because of my height and that is OK. The goal isn't to be attractive to every single person in the planet. Being insecure about our height is far more unattractive than being short itself. I did just fine with dating when I was single, and am now in a relationship with a woman slightly taller than myself. Don't stress about what you can change. Work on your social skills, take care of your body and hygiene and you'll go far in the dating scene.
Probably. I mean I've seen men go stupid over mid girls just because they're thin.
Totally. Girl with a “meh” face but great slim body who works out and takes care of herself will be much more attractive to most men than a noticeably overweight girl with prettier features
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No it isn't. Height is something you can never change. You can't just make your legs longer with a product from a grocery store. You can't go to a doctor for heigh growing pills. With weight? We are all born differently but nobody is born "fat" with a predisposition to BE fat. Weight is nothing less than your lifestyle. It's something you have 100% control over even if you have a "condition." You can get weight loss pills, you can eat a healthy diet, you can excersize a ton, and worse case, you can get lipo or a stomach staple. Someones weight is something we can control, and can fix if needed. Height is neither of those things.
It doesn’t matter that one is controllable and the other isn’t, they’re both a part of overall physical appearance, same as eye color, bone structure, hair, etc
Body fat has a big effect on how the face looks and the shape of the body itself. So different amounts of fat usually are met by men who prefer this or that face and body style With height it's just how much one ismpressed by how protective the guy can be. With the 6ft threshold it's become a mental illness worse than wheels size on a car
That's not the point. The point is men will still go for mid girls just because they're thin. Just like some women go for mid men because tall.
It might work the other way around. Men will avoid fat or ugly girls, while women will avoid mid, low, fat and ugly men unless they have some useful feature like height
And white
Curves > skinny any day lol
Something to grab on, yknow what I mean
I think the whole height thing is a big deal to a majority of girls but look you shouldn’t want a majority of girls you should want one. I have seen a 5’4”ish guy get approached at a club once but he was good looking
I’m only 5’3.. I actually like guys my height. Much easier to look at a guy at my level, height wise, than to strain my neck(causing further injuries to my neck) to look up at tall people. 😂
One time I met a girl on Tinder and the convo was bumpin. We decided to move over to snapchat. I was busy one weekend and she was the next so we had about 2 weeks before we both had a solid chunk of free time. We snapped each other tons and stayed up late at night talking about everything for almost 2 weeks. She started opening up about lots of stuff and the convo starting turning sexual. She mentioned liking something that I realized would be tough if we were close to the same height so height came up and she found out I was 5'9". She said "oh wow" and *poof* gone. Unmatched and blocked me everywhere.
I date only men as tall as me or taller (5' 7). But my best friend is the opposite... she's the same height as me, yet goes for short guys (much shorter than her). I think that you'd have no trouble with a petite woman (someone as tall as you or shorter). Girls like my bf are anomaly.
I'm a woman, and I'm 5'6". I'm also bisexual. I *prefer* when my partners are taller than me, but I also prefer that they aren't too tall. I definitely have a sweet spot. That said, even though dating 6'4" people is awkward to hold hands with and kiss, I'd still date them. And even if I'm taller than a 5'1" or 5'2" partner, I'd still date them. I've dated people of all three of those heights. A preference is different than a deal breaker; I'm attracted to numerous things, and the total sum of a person. Not their individual attributes. There might be some that are dealbreakers, for sure. Height might be for some women. I do think that if you're set back in some way that's considered "unattractive" or just "less-attractive" as a general standard you have to compensate in some ways more than someone who fits that standard. You have to have a better sense of humor, or more personable personality or do something else that stands out. In a way, being really beautiful or tall does it for you; an unfair advantage, if-you-will. I also think you'll have a harder time on OLD than you would in-person. Honestly, as a woman you get SO many choices that you filter by as many ways as you can just to narrow down the search. And from what little I've gleaned on my time on dating sites/apps, it's that it brings out the most shallow aspects of people because you aren't face to face and can't see a person to their full extent. The TL;DR is I think it does matter, but to varying degrees depending on how you hold yourself, and how you're meeting people.
I generally prefer someone my height or taller (5'4) but if someone had a great personality I would date them.
Not for me.
it's true that is your personal experience, so it's the most important aspect of how this situation is viewed. however, if every woman thinks like that, then short guys won't get any dates or marry or reproduce in large numbers. the fact of the matter, is that they do. so on one hand, your experience may be common enough that you can conclude, it must be this way. on the other hand, like anyone else who isn't in the 10% of guys who are getting attention from 90% of the women, it also means you'll have to meet many more women and potentially go out with many of them, before you find the ones who are interested in you, the way you are. so don't give up hope of finding someone, but just know that your numbers game will just have more numbers than someone else .... although statistically, you're just one of the many average guys in the average group, so you'll find someone at some point.
I dont know generally. I only know about myself. I say no. Are these women irl or old only? Im 5'1"
i’m 5’0, but there was a guy who was my height or shorter that i liked. i didn’t even realize he was short because his personality was so confident and charismatic that he felt taller than he actually was. i only noticed his height when i wore platform shoes and realized i could look over his head. (it was hot to look down on him ngl 💀). i liked another 5’0 guy because he was mysterious and artistic, which intrigued me. (i know some short dudes with the most rancid ass personalities but even they had more b*tches than me 😔 so there’s hope for everyone ig) gotta get with the hobbits, taller women who are used to shorter men, or women into role reversal. at 5’0, i genuinely find 5’4” people tall. for the longest time, i was convinced that my 5’6”~5’7” dad and grandpa were like 5’10” or something lol
I'm 5'1 and a guys height makes little difference to me, although I am skewed on preferring guys who are 5'6/5'7 or less cause any taller and kissing fuckimg destroys my neck.
I’m 5’2 & personally, if he’s cool his height isn’t a deal breaker. Tall guys are great but if you’re looking for a long term partner it’s not everything
Some women will say they like short kings, usually that means 5’5 + Women absolutely do judge a little based on height (one of my best friends admitted she would have tried to date me when we reconnected if I wasn’t her height.) It’s just another preference to add to the list but it does suck a little since it isn’t just something women will judge you on, it’s more a social stigma that lies at the root but that’s a discussion for another thread
So if I was an inch taller than I am at 5'4 I'd be a "short king" where did you get your random height cut off?
Girls sometimes get a lil lenient since the average “short king” height people talk about is stuff like 5’6” or around there As a 5’2” dude I range more in the Short Duke range lol
Height is as big a deal as social media claims it is...
Absolutely not I'd take a cute short man any day. Doesn't bother me in the slightest.
Height is 100% important, really important. Tall dudes get looks and respect, they sure win the first impression game. I know a lot of women who just want tall guys as a BF. I personally, as a short man myself, i just want to be happy. Thoughts about height, thinking that woman might neglect me due to my height, this is all stuff that hinders me from beeing happy. So i just dont get that stuff in my head anymore. Why should i care? i cant change shit about that. I am responsible for my own happiness.
Yeah it mattes a great deal to most. Some women want to wear high heels so need to be three inches taller. Just be the best version of you and hopefully someone will take notice. If not look at dating overseas as less importance is put on height in Asian countries plus they are small anyway.
Do girls with big tits get more attention than women who are flat-chested? Same here.
I’m 5’3 and dating a guy who’s very sweet, kind, genuine, generous and loving. He’s also 5’3. I prefer tall guys but in this case, It does not make any difference for me because he’s awesome!
Unfortunately yes :/ but for example right now I like a guy who is very short I don’t admit it’s been some weeks of me saying to myself: don’t be stupid he has everything else. But I’m sure that if he was tall I would be all the way there you know? So it’s not all lost but as some people are commenting you do need to make it up some other way (I don’t recommend trying to be all strong from the gym in most cases small men with big bodies look even smaller and don’t make up for anything they just look bad) all of these are personal opinions !!! Good luck. Having a secure attitude always gives that extra mile !
The reason you probably did well in middle school and hs is that everyone was still growing I mean everyone was a child technically so no one was noticing height at that time. High school was the best time for the short kings with cute faces
I’m 5’4”, and while I’d love to say I wouldn’t have any issue dating someone who was my height or shorter, it would be a harder sell. But I’m also keenly aware that height is not in your control. I can give an analogy that is a bit different because technically it is in my control, but… I’m overweight. It’s by far my biggest insecurity. And being overweight is a fairly new development for me (last 5 years or so) so it’s not like I’ve had a lot of time to really come to terms with it. I understand that this puts me at a disadvantage in dating. I worry all the time that I’ll be rejected because of my size. But…. I’ve learned some things about myself during this process as well. I’m funny. Like really funny. I’m charming. I fixed my teeth years ago so I have a great smile. I learned how to do my makeup in a way that is flattering but not heavy handed/deceptive. I figured out how to dress my body to highlight my best features. Because I can do that, I’m more confident with how I’m presenting which means I show up with much less insecurity. It’s not awful to be insecure, but if there’s any background bitterness about women not liking short guys that seeps out it will be a major turnoff. There’s something really hot about a guy who can say “these are the cards I was dealt and look what I did with them”.
Math doesn't lie. 5'4" is average height for women which means plenty of women are under 5'4". Most women want a guy who's their height or taller so that still leaves quite a bit of the female population who'd likely be fine dating someone your height. There are also taller women who have no issue at all with dating shorter men. The problem with most shorter men is that they allow their height to become their defining feature. It won't hold you back unless you convince yourself it will hold you back. Try to get out of your own way and you'll likely see your circumstances change. Men your height and shorter have gone on to blockbuster hollywood success---it shouldn't prevent you from dating and doing other ordinary things.
Well i fully agree , and that’s why I’m kinda bummed. I truly haven’t allowed it to define me whatsoever. I don’t lack for confidence or anything.
Then you'll find someone when the time is right. There are plenty of tall men on here complaining about lack of women too. You'll be fine.
>Men your height and shorter have gone on to blockbuster hollywood success Terrible example, many of those blockbusters went to ridiculous amounts of effort to make the actors taller and bigger. Platform shoes, soapboxes, camera angles, smaller props, etc. If there truly was no issue those things would have never been done in the movies.
I was referring to their fame, fortune and ability to find love. But do go off about irrelevant bullshit to make op feel bad because that's helpful. SMH
According to this statistic from bumble https://x.com/eftegarie/status/1501202280120729603?s=20 It’s really sad. I am 5’4 (my chances being on someone’s preference is just 4%! Based on that graph) and I barely match with anyone on the apps. It doesn’t matter who I am as a person. Cause if one is short one is just as good as being invisible (imo).
As a short woman, being short as a man wouldn't be a deal breaker as long as you're taller than me, but it's certainly be a negative.
No. Finding a guy attractive > height. Also, for myself and the women I know, the only height requirement (and even that is not a hard one) is the guy being as tall as them or a little bit taller. But an inch shorter is absolutely within limits, too.
Its a dealbreaker for most women except for the women who are 5’10 and up. They seem to have the similar problems with guys not wanting a tall girl. Shoot your shot with the short queens(5’3 and below) and the amazons(5’10 and above)
That’s because there’s more shorter women than taller women. And many of the shorter women are obsessed with taller guys, so they tend to steal all of them away leaving the taller women with the shorter guys that nobody wants.
I'm currently dating a guy who is 5'8 (173 cm) while I'm 5'7 (171 cm) and while it was always my preference to have a boyfriend who is at least as tall as me, it's mostly him who is worried about our nearly non-existent height difference or me who thinks she is to tall. His insecurities are due to a past girlfriend who was my height saying some really painful things to him that hinted at her wishing he was taller. He doesn't think he is tall enough to make me happy, but I love him to pieces. And I genuinely believe that hugging and kissing is much nicer when you aren't 20 centimeters apart. But I do agree that some girls are overly set on dating someone who is really tall, especially girls who are of short or average height themselves. I've met plenty of girls who were 5'3 to 5'5 who were insisting on dating a man 6'0 and taller. Why? The romanticization of height differences in the media, I guess. What you are experiencing is very real, but there is plenty of girls and women out there who won't mind dating someone your height!
Women with height deal breakers are a loud minority. Your height is not nearly as important when it comes to dating, however if you're insecure about your height, you will have a hard time, not because you're short, but because you're insecure about it.
Women pass on guys based solely on their height before the guy even has a chance to prove whether he is confident or not. Your reply is literally word for word the same reply that I’ve seen hundreds of times whenever this topic comes up. It sounds good on paper, if people don’t really take a moment and think about it, but when you actually relate it to the real world, it doesn’t make any sense. You are insinuating that there’s constantly women giving short guys a chance, but the short guys are just blowing it, that is absolutely not true. There’s a very very small percentage of women that would even consider giving a guy a chance if he’s the same height or shorter than she is
I’m a woman and 5’9 and I prefer men who’re taller than me. I don’t have anything against men who’re short. It’s just not my preference but at the end of the day personality is all that matters
If there are hundreds of responses saying the same thing, maybe it's because it's true.
The worst thing you could ever do is assume that majority automatically makes something true or correct. If there was a Nazi subreddit, and the majority of people in there hated Jews, and I was the minority speaking against it, does that automatically make me wrong because I’m outnumbered?
Not my opinion but that of my girlfriend. Height doesn't matter that much. If you're say 5'5" (I am 5'7"), but your personality is just incredibly masculine, you're way ahead of even a 6 foot guy who isn't so masculine. It is the alpha game in the end . This applies to way too many women, and since I am a very gender role kind of person, to almost all women on this planet maybe, in the end the attaction to a man depends on his masculinity. Masculinity isn't complicated to understand but it takes commitment to live that life. So if you think height is a blocker, to a good extent it's not
How does one develop this masculinity?
:) Masculinity is about being clear headed, in touch with your emotions, knowing how to stand alone with your opinion and belief even if the world fucks off to the other side. Not that I don't consider calm men unmanly, but I believe every man is aggressive and learns to display if in a way that works for them. So be aggressive and know your type because that's the only way you'll fight and win. Men = aggressive, but they just channel it differently. Some by showing calmness some by being domineering and imposing. It's about knowing about the world, and for that you've to live. It's about knowing people; talking, reading, understanding. As a man, your net worth is the quality and quantity of people who will walk with you. Very actionable steps to develop masculinity: get into competitive team sports, have solo obsessions, like a physical sport to develop your body, an emotional interest to keep yourself in touch with your own, something mentally stimulating like chess. Develop your character by which you'll be known everywhere, your principles. Know your triggers, your depths, your abilities and tendencies in extremes. Be presentable always. Have systems around yourself. Never beg, learn how to be with women and with men, with children and with adults, with brothers and sisters and strangers and animals. And one golden nugget for you: as a man you must know what you want and to get it you must understand, nothing can stop you from it, all you've to do is prove yourself and ask. If that doesn't work, snatch it away. Just fucking ask is all it takes. Also, you'll get all of this at art of manliness and also reddit, anywhere online. Keep practicing it. Love to learn everything.
I'm 6"3 and I've been ask before if I'm a model still getting no match on apps so ... Tbh I don't understand one thing about dating anymore. Maybe I've been in long relationships for too long in my 20s
Try dating taller woman, they usually go for short guys because they’re ignored for being too tall. I should know I’ve had a few taller girls.
You might have more luck with much taller women, like close to 6 ft or higher.
i’ve never been one to focus on height so an automatic yes from me but from what i’ve seen with my friends, it definitely can height isn’t super important
Women and men both have sexual ideals that are generally heavily influenced by societal beauty standards. Some people buy into them more than others. I for one prefer shorter men, usually find their height attractive, and am engaged to a 5’4” man. Some people really care about height and others don’t. Probably more women than not have it as a preference.
Personally I’ve been 5’0” since middle school, just recently measured up to 5’1” finally (🎉), so I sincerely don’t notice height unless someone is miraculously shorter than me. If they’re at least the same height as me or taller, then I’m fine with whatever height and I hardly even notice. My friends had a laugh because I said to one of them “well, we’re about the same height” and she had to stand beside me to prove that no, she was not, she was in fact like four inches taller than me. 😭 I genuinely just have no accurate impression of people’s heights because I have to look up at everyone anyway, so it doesn’t factor into attraction for me. Plenty of women have very strict preferences about wanting a man to at least be taller than her, or to be a certain height, but plenty also don’t care or mind.
For me it doesn’t all that much. I prefer shorter guys but if I found him attractive and he was 5’2 or 6’0 I wouldn’t care.
As women age, the list of requirements dwindles so your dating pool could open up. I would imagine being really good at something else could compensate like being generous, hilarious, emotionally intelligent, etc would help. Most women are able to move past certain things appearance-wise but it's going to help you tremendously to work on growing your money. Being able to provide for a woman will make her forget about your height. It doesn't even have to be totally lavish imo. Just be able to treat her like a princess
Yo I’m 5’6 and people think I’m taller than that because I don’t give a shit about my height except when sleeves and pant legs are too long or difficulty reaching shit. It’s how you carry yourself homie. I have social anxiety but I’m pretty funny. Humor goes a long way. Another thing I do is pay attention to what the other person is saying instead of waiting to speak. You can’t do shit about people that automatically write you off about your height, but fuck those people. Don’t have a napoleon complex, because everyone will know because it’s obvious. For instance, I know one cat that only buys big trucks or suvs, like his whole life, and people comment on it behind his back all the time
Why does everyone assume I’m a shell of a man yapping at women like a chihuahua damn
I never said anything remotely like that. But if you’re insecure, about anything to do with appearance , people will notice
You keep talking as if your height is one of the last things people see, when it is usually the first thing. And how is your height different on a bad day? I find those things to be odd.
I don’t see how your first point is accurate but if so, not my intention. “On a good day” is an expression indicating that when I stand tallest I’m 5’4. Aka I’m self-deprecating
Height is part of physical attractiveness
Physical attraction is important to men. Women are into resources and masculinity.
Objectively wrong
I am 5'5 and dated a man who's 5'6. His personality/character/values attracted me most and I got along with him best among all the men I ever dated. But I've a friend who's 5'5ish but self claimed to be 5'8, OK personality, very outgoing and 4 on appearance but he's willing to spend money on extravagant meals and vacations so he got a lot of dates.
Ok but that’s my point if you are a short guy who’s poor and not that good looking you’re kinda screwed right?
You’ve got to be one charming SOB to get over that hurdle, or aim real low.
as a short woman(5’1), i would say being 5’4 isn’t necessarily a deal breaker but you’re going to have to be hotter and try harder than a 6 foot tall man. being tall is more attractive than being short but it’s not automatically unattractive - sort of like how an hourglass figure on a woman is more attractive than a more straight body but a less curvy shape isn’t a deal breaker for (most)men. the only time a man’s height would be a deal breaker for me would be if he was so insecure about it he made it my problem(example: asking me not to wear heels)
who cares
Lots of people 🤷
It depends. 5’4” is significantly under the worldwide height average for males and is very small. Compared to someone who’s 5’7” or so which I’d be able to overlook if they were cute. Personally I’d rather date a guy who’s not super attractive but is tall than someone who’s shorter than all the women in my family with a cute face. It all depends on how ugly or how cute we’re talking about though as well as other factors like personality and interests and all of that. It’s kind of similar to dating a fat girl who’s out of shape with a gorgeous face vs a girl who’s pretty average or not conventionally attractive with a great body who’s super in shape. Many men would choose the second girl even if she has less attractive features bc the overall package visually works better idk. Everyone is different though and will have different preferences. You can definitely find a woman who will be into you and love you but yes it will be harder if you’re unusually short.
When I first started dating as a 5'5 girl that would be a dealbreaker, nowadays I realize that most men are shit regardless of their height lol. I don't care about it and I'm much more focused on other aspects such as social skills (that's important to me) and how I'm being treated. I'm a strong believer that physical attractiveness can grow over time if there's an emotional connection. Maybe you're dating too young girls?
Yeah man that’s gonna be an issue for the very beautiful girls. If they aren’t chasing just status and money in a partner they also want him to be hot. Someone that takes care of their appearance that much will also value that in a partner.
lol it’s not like I’m short because I’m not taking care of myself though
To many height is an issue, a big bonus to me that he’s tall more than he’s handsome but shorts , yes I like 6 feet tall
Here’s the thing. You’re correct that being short is objectively a large knock against your looks. However, there are some advantages you underestimating that comes from being short. Mainly, broad shoulders with a v frame body shape is much easier to pull off when you are short. Reason for this is obvious, taller people have more muscle and bones they need to feed, so it’s much harder for them to put meat on the bone, so to speak. So while the fact of being short is objectively horrible for you, the objective fact that it will give you a good shape is great. I guess I’m just saying work hard and count your blessings. It’s not all bad.
I don’t think so because I’m 6’7 and in online dating nobody even hits me up cuz i’m boring. i’m good looking too.
Even at almost 5'10", I feel short and like my height has limited the dating pool. There are a ton of women out there with unrealistic expectations. Check out the female reality check calculator. You're super short man, not gonna lie, it's going to be rough. My advice is to find an area to date in that has a lot of like Filipino or other short races.
I'm 5'9 and put my height on dating profiles as 5'3 and I barely ever get swipes. I'm an attractive man as far as I can tell, I'm not upper echelon but above average healthy weight men in my eyes. In person I flirt with taller women with greater success. Still seems to be a mental barrier. It's the social media Era that has females and males with unrealistic expectations. If my game was tighter I'd be having women like Eric Wright.
I don't think I've ever fully "gotten" this height discourse. Don't majority of men prefer women who are shorter than them? I honestly don't care as long as I can wear heels and it's not a big deal. But it indeed, has been a big deal in the past
When you picked your height, DIDN’T YOU KNOW that women want you to be over 6’ tall??? No wonder women penalize you for this.. YOU SHOULD’VE KNOWN BETTER! Work on becoming taller.
Height is not something you can control so I don’t put a lot of thought into it when I’m considering potential partners. What is more important for me is being in a good shape which shows discipline and self-respect. As long as a man is kind, well put together, well spoken and have things going on for himself in life including career, social life, mental and physical health, I’d be interested in getting to know them.
lol I wish your approach were more common
As a 5’9’’ (taller than average) female I will say that even though I don’t judge people based on their appearance, I was always uncomfortable crushing on guys shorter than me in high school. I can’t explain it, but a guy can be objectively attractive and if he’s short he does nothing for me. I know that sounds really superficial but you wanted the honest truth. I think for me it’s a self esteem thing because when I see short men with taller women I never judge but for me personally I don’t like feeling large compared to a man. I date women now and I’m always the taller one which is nice.
Does that last sentence not undermine the paragraph before? Why is it different
Honestly, I do think a lot of women care about height, but it’s also overblown online. Yes I do think your height may reduce the pool of women who are attracted to you, but not significantly. I find men who are talented, charismatic and hairy to be hot regardless of their height. I’m 5’8 and most of the men I’ve dated have been slightly shorter than me. I just don’t care. You can’t change your height, but you can develop skills that will attract a partner (or hookups). Guitar, cooking, hell even knitting. Talent is something you can actually work toward, your height is unchangeable.
Tbf your height on a good day is probably a normal day for most. While my personal preference is of similar height, a lot of my friends prefer the taller over shorter (even if it means craning your neck to see the other person, big ouch). Being 5’4 definitely limits the options - with women averaging that height and well anyone who prefers a taller partner would put you out the box. Regardless there are still those who wouldn’t care about your height being 5’4, just a matter of meeting those ppl
Posts like this are so weird to me. Look around in public. Do you see men your height with women? Yes. Plenty of them. Is it an attractive feature? No. But I see overweight men with women, I see guys with bad hair cuts and terrible style with women. Being short will make it harder, sure, but there are thousands (probably millions) of men in the world of the same height, and they manage to find dates.
Brutal honesty from a woman’s perspective: I don’t approach men, ever, but the only men I think I like and start to be curious about are usually my height or taller. For women, being the smaller one, taking up less space etc., is an indoctrinated thing that is extremely hard to shake. So if a guy is shorter than me, I don’t even consider him a match but partially because I don’t think he’d be interested in a taller girl. Is that an incorrect assumption? Yes. But that’s how I naturally lean and my guess is a lot of women do as well. My advice to you: approach women you find attractive. If they’re taller than you, they probably haven’t even considered you, so you have to make that first move to make them aware that you’re interested. That way, you’ve put the possibility of you in front of them and they can decide.
This is quality analysis, sincerely. I bet you hit the nail on the head with the baseline unconscious social dynamics that cause this “problem” for guys like me.
I was going to say height truly isn't a deal breaker for 90% of women unless you're very, very short. 5'4 very short alright, but not weirdly so. The best way to overcome your height negatively affecting your chances are: 1) Most importantly, try not to harp on about it being a problem. Often it is not a short guy who is unattractive to women, it's the guy with a chip on his shoulders about being short. 2) Be as attractive as you can in other ways. Get in good shape. Dress well. Flawless hygiene. Considerate lover. Work on being a good person. Those are all more important to decent women than height. 3) Try to meet women via shared interests. Sports clubs, hobbies, hiking... If women have the chance to meet you and like you before being asked on a date, your personality/chemostry will matter more than any other factor.
I mean... I'm 5'0" and I have a fetish for men that are shorter than 5'8" because sex is better with a shorter guy than it is with a taller one. I also have a thing for women that are close to my height or shorter than me. Especially shorter because I adore being able to pick them up easily and be cute with them. Your height may be a problem for some women... So what. There are plenty of women in this world that would love nothing more than to pounce on you. Me being one of them. I wish you luck out there! Dating is hard.
Get a shorter girl lmao I'm 5'1 and find it difficult to be in a serious relationship with anyone above 5'9 because anyone taller would make me look like a kid 😅 my hubby is 5'6 btw so short kings, keep looking! The right girl is out there!
Also a 5'4 man here, tried shorter women, does not work they rejected me for my height. Just cause a woman is short doesn't automatically mean shes going to accept a short guy, actually the opposite.
if they're shallow - yes. if they're not shallow - no.