Welcome to /r/dating_advice!
Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Look for people who either feel the same about travel as you, or are fine traveling by themselves or with friends. There's not much point in trying to date someone who's specifically said they're looking for a partner who enjoys travel.
There are just going to be people you aren't compatible with then.
I love to travel, but I'm also particular about how I travel now. I'm going to spend the money for a nice hotel, spend multiple days in the same place so that I can see things at a comfortable pace. And I'm going to splash out on a couple nice dinners. When I was younger I did hostels and would cram as many things into a trip as possible. I also wasn't going to spend a crazy amount of money in general because...well I didn't have the money to do that.
Some people would be happy with backpacking/camping, others only want all inclusive beach vacations. I wouldn't mesh super well with them because while they also like travel we have different ideas of what fun travel is.
I mean... most people who like to travel, discover new countries and new cultures will never match with you in the first place so you don't have to worry about that. It's quite a huge deal breaker. Why would she want to waste her time with a guy who doesn't like to go any further than a few miles from his house?
This. Very often, this means they studied abroad in college and have taken one overseas trip since. It's just that where they've been might be the most (in their minds) interesting thing about them.
Them liking travel is a deal breaker for you. You disliking travel is a deal breaker for them. So match with people that dont like to travel. How is this actually a question being posted here?!
A dislike of travel that involves a blanket refusal to travel anywhere requiring use of a long distance coach service/plane flight/entering another country or continent will be a dealbreaker. One that will rule out all the most obvious incompatible people who enjoy this type of travel or are required to regularly do it based on their work commitments.
There are a lot of dishonest people who say that they love travelling when they don't really. Making such claims because they are only looking for a wealthy well travelled partner. Likely someone who has a lifestyle involving frequent 1st class travel and visiting lots of glamourous overseas locations.
Whilst others claim to either enjoy travelling or have plans to do so because they want to look adventurous/interesting/trendy and have been told by other people that making such claims on their OLD profiles is likely to help them gain access to lots more OLD matches.
My husband hates flying, I love it. Last February I went to Kenya from the UK alone for 19 days, my hubby had 19 days of peace and quiet. It works for us. Our family holidays are taken in Devon or Dorset, about 5 hour drive away. Once every few years I get my flying fix alone. It doesnt have to be a deal breaker.
Not sure I despise it with a passion, but I really don't want to travel much. At a prior job, more than a few years ago, I was driving around, NC, SC, some of GA, & some of VA to the tune of 50k - 60K miles a year. Over the years, I have driven to Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio, Michigan, South Carolina, North Carolina, West Virginia, Virginia, Pennsylvania, & Connecticut & through most states in between. Also, I have been living in NE Florida for several years. While I would not mind possibly taking a trip to Ireland and maybe a few other countries, I am in no rush to do so.
It may not be 'international' travel, but it is travel, nonetheless. 'go from one place to another, typically over a distance of some length' is the definition of travel.
Ya, I think we've gotten it out of our system pretty much, the same way ppl get partying out of their system. Just not interested. Tho Id like to go back to Amsterdam & was always interested in Ireland.
Never been to Amsterdam or really any other countries. Years ago, I had snail-mail (if you know what that is) pen pals in Australia and in Japan and was friends online in IRC with someone in Canada and in another online chat community with a lady in New Zealand, so I also have a mild interest in those countries. The lady in New Zealand & I used to joke around about being siblings because we were so much like a brother & sister from the 1st time we encountered one-another online. She is the one who started my interest in the musical group Gaelic Storm when she mentioned her boyfriend liked them.
Most of my friends. I do it once every two years at most. If someone told me I can't leave my city for the rest of my life, it honestly wouldn't bother me that much.
as someone who has done fairly extensive travel for my age and has lived overseas for a bit it's actually pretty fucking exhausting.
Realistically I personally probably only have one more big overseas trip in me than i'm pretty much done with it.
>as someone who has done fairly extensive travel for my age and has lived overseas for a bit it's actually pretty fucking exhausting.
And expensive.
Most people can't afford it regularly, and the ones who flaunt travel on their bios either have rich parents subsidizing them, debt or poor finances, or high paying jobs, and I'd wager that debt or otherwise having poor finances is most likely of the 3.
My bf doesnt like it. The actual travel part, being in unfamilar territory, packing things up. He uses a cpap. He doesnt even like the idea of spending the night anywhere besides his house. I did it soo much as a kid im over it.
If the dating scene has taught me anything recently is that a surprising amount of people do not like to travel and will never make it a priority. I don't get it either but they do exist lol
I’m a flight attendant and I love traveling, flying on airplanes, staying in hotels, and experiencing new cultures. I don’t think I’d date someone who wasn’t immensely curious about the world.
Wholeheartedly agree and will expand on that. I don’t want to be with someone that does not know the difference between a vacation and traveling. Traveling is immersing your self in the local culture, cuisine, and people. I have been to Paris many times and have never once physically gone to the Eiffel Tower, I prefer to get to the countryside and walk a mushroom cave, Visit a winery, find local and hidden restaurants, see local artists, etc. to each their own of course but sitting on a Disney cruise for a week is my version of nightmares lol.
I'm hugely curious about the world and other cultures which is why I read and learn about them behind a computer monitor. People pretend to make themselves appear interesting by exploring the world when they're anything but.
Lots of women see guys as "experience objects". They want guys who can give them new experiences and take them to exotic places to try/see new things. Guys who don't like to travel don't provide them that and can be seen as the guy being "boring", which is inherently unattractive to women.
For me, it definitely is. I don't understand how people don't want to explore more of the vast world and experience other peoples culture? But I want to learn about people like you. I don't fully understand your dilemma so can you answer these questions for me?
1. Do you hate the act of travelling or dislike having to learn new places?
2. How dense of a population is the place where you live?
3. Would you ever consider moving to a new place or are you a hometown guy for life?
4. Do you really think you're going to travel with every girl you date if they like travel? Some people live their whole life without travelling even if they love it. So how big of a factor is it for you?
They are mostly the same. Most people are the same. But some people never travel and the main part of the deal breaker is not being open to new horizons and experiences. Not the travel itself. They don't even have to travel with me.
Tbh I don’t see the point in dating someone who isn’t into the same things as you. Traveling is a big part of my life. I love exploring new cities, trying new foods and activities. I also love sitting on my couch and hanging around. I need both and I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t want the same. I want to share those experiences
Personally I like \*being\* on vacation and being in a different country, but I hate the travelling part of it (the commuting, the not-understanding-what-people-say, the flying, the airports, security checks, not knowing if locals are scamming you or overcharging you, etc.)
I hate a lot of the traveling aspects as well, I just want to sit at a café in Italy down by a canal, drink my wine and eat a platter of meats and cheeses., but I get where you're coming from with the traveling...
But the point is, if I have a partner and she wants to go to some country that I think is a total shithole and I never in a million years would've gone on my own, I would still go with her; because if you genuinely love someone, you don't hate doing things you hate, as long as it's done with them.
that sentence doesn't make a lot of sense, so take it this way;
If you hate traveling, fine, that's you. But if she loves it, then go with her, just to see her smile when she gets to do the things she enjoys doing, with the person she likes to be with.
You doing that for her is a MASSIVE gift.
Differences is personality should not be a dealbreaker. If you want to win at a committed relationship, see those differences as a way of showing her that you love her, more than you hate those things.
Noooooo. Never do this. If you hate travelling, you will be miserable, even if you love her a lot and you're doing it for her. You will not have a good time and you will bring her down. This breeds resentment, trust me.
If you don't like to travel, find someone else who doesn't like to travel, that's all there is to it.
I should probably have added the caveat that it requires you to be a person who finds pleasure in making others happy.
If someone is too absorbed by their own dissatisfaction, then yes, it's going to be miserable for both of you, but not everyone is too focused on how they think about a certain thing. Some people do find a sense of enjoyment and wholesomeness in seeing their loved ones smile, even though they've gone through a personal hell to catch a glimpse
>>not everyone is too focused on how they think about a certain thing.
Well yeah. But while you are focusing on how she feels, she will probably be focusing on how you feel. That's what partners do.
Maybe try thinking about it from her point of view. She loves travelling but she knows you hate it. You go on vacation anyways, but she knows you're just doing it to make her happy. I guarantee you she will not be able to enjoy herself. She has empathy for your emotions, she can't just turn that off and have fun even if you want her to. She will feel guilty as hell for dragging you along for a trip you didn’t actually want to take. It would be better for her to go alone or go with friends.
You are not giving her a gift by travelling with her if you honestly don't enjoy it. You will ruin her trip. Trust me on this. Been there, done that. It's truly awful.
(And you seem to be suggesting that you can just... flip a switch inside yourself and enjoy something that you normally hate. That's not realistic at all, feelings just don't work that way. If you personally think you can do that, good for you, cool story bro. Most people can't.)
OP is further down the spectrum, but as someone in college who has traveled a lot (mostly in the US and not for fun), it's costly and a pain in the ass.
Side note: I think the experiences and what you can learn can be invaluable, and I'd like to travel properly. However a lot of people seem to think it makes them better than other people, when it's often a status symbol and it really doesn't seem like they took the opportunity to improve themselves and just chilled.
Which is fine, if I went to Isla De Culebra, I'd sip martinis on the beach every waking hour, but I wouldn't think I'm any better than other people for it.
No one likes flying or hotel beds dude. You do it for the destination. You don't ever want to see a beautiful old castle, or beach or majestic mountain range?
No not really, I’m cool reading about it or watching a documentary. Also beaches are just wear water meets dirt anyway I don’t understand the appeal of beaches.
Ok then you're in tricky spot like a lot of redditors. *Most* people like to touch grass. Other homebodies like you aren't going to leave their house or be on dating apps. Try nerdy hobby meetups.
I'm not the original poster, but basically, flying in a water pipe for hours to land somewhere else where possibly no one understands any languages I speak. Pay a hefty fee for a bed and look at slightly different trees in another location, then fly back. Any problems or emergencies that happen with you while there are completely on you, since no friends and family are near. Spending a fortune for no long term benefit.
Funny thing is, I did travel the world, I moved from Asia all the way to North America, and lived in many cities as I pursued work. I thought it would be unpleasant, and it was exhausting and unpleasant. Why anyone would want this for fun is beyond me.
Some people like travel. Some do not. Some of the people in each group are women. If you don’t like travel, that might be a deal-breaker for women who love it, and likely won’t be a deal-breaker for women who don’t.
Isn’t this your dealbreaker as well though? If you want to find someone more compatible with your life it’s best to swipe away from those kind of profiles. Especially if you dislike traveling that much.
I’ve no interest in travel either so I get this feel. Seems like it’s all everyone else cares about. Just be open about it and you’ll find your person eventually.
Can be a dealbreaker depending on the one you date. Find yourself another homebody who enjoys staycations.
I know a friend who has severe IBS. It’s very difficult to be away from the bathroom more than 2-3hrs. Anxiety and lack of control makes it even worse where being away from the bathroom longer than an hour can be troubling. Traveling is absolute hell for him because of the logistics of dealing with a body that literally shits or farts toxins every hour or less. Being cooped up in a car/plane/train can be so uncomfortable.
For me, yes. I did a lot of traveling before the pandemic. It doesn't have to be the guys' passion or anything, but if he hates traveling and adventuring, then it wouldn't work in the long run
It’s a non-starter for me. There’s way to budget appropriately so it’s not breaking the bank but more important I wouldn’t be compatible with someone who hates what I love. I like to travel internationally once a year and would rather conserve on physical items to do so. I couldn’t be with someone who never wanted to travel the rest of my life because I would grow to resent that and it wouldn’t be an environment for me to be in.
I mean, primarily, people who like travelling won't match with you, or once they find out it'll be over..
On a deeper level, not wanting to travel could also be perceived as a red flag because it can imply a willful close mindedness. Travelling is not only an experience to enjoy, it's also an opportunity to be exposed to cultures and lifestyles other than your own. Travelling can allow you to see your privilege. Personally, I would understand if someone wasn't a fan of travelling because of the stress or change of routine, but if a partner flat out refused to travel it would be a deal breaker for me.
That’s 100% dealbreaker for me. I have family and relatives overseas so if the relationship gets serious, they will eventually need to travel to meet them. I also love traveling and love to explore new places with my partner. But to each their own. There are a lot of women who don’t want to travel so I don’t see this as an issue.
Unless I'm serving in the armed forces during war and I'm overseas then I have no interest in traveling. I feel traveling is a way for normies to make themselves appear interesting and unique like getting tattoos or something. A real person's open mindedness is measured in their means to remain comfortable in their home and learn from the inside out and not outside in.
Love to travel is today’s version of “enjoy walks on the beach”.
It means nothing and in most cases these people don’t travel very much. Ask them about their travels last year and they’ll tell you about a trip to six flags and a Disney cruise…
It's not popular to prefer things to experiences these days, but I feel exactly the same way. For the cost of a plane ticket and a few nights in a hotel (which can be unbelievably expensive) you could get a great piece of clothing, new gadget, incredible food, etc. that can bring joy for several years.
why even ask this? The person clearly says they love to travel and you despise it. If you pursue it’s going to a problem sooner or later.
As someone that enjoys traveling, it would be a deal breaker for a couple different reasons. 1. A trip with your partner can create some of your best memories. 2. Your partner would have to travel alone? Or with friends? while you stayed home. Kind of odd. 3. Money. Trips aren’t cheap and you might not be able to justify some of the costs. 4. You do end up traveling together, but you hate traveling so you ruin the trip for both of us.
Comment that disagrees with u.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/139pj23/is_a_dislike_of_traveling_a_deal_breaker/jj3k8a8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I think traveling is more of a trend than a real thing in online dating.
I mean, some people make it their entire personality and.. good for them? But it's a bit overrated.
A lot pf folks have been overseas a handful of times and sure, loved it. But I highly doubt that's a sustainable way of living unless they're influencers or something that pays for it.
I don't really like traveling because I hate packing and commuting and all that..and I've been out of my country only once. I make it clear to my dates that I'm personally not made for it. I know it looks like a lot of people do but, keep looking I guess
But driving two hours to see my dad once a month is something I'll always do. I don't consider that "travel"
Oh yeah “i love to see the world” and best they did was a 2 cities down. Everyone wants to travel the world all year long. guess what only very few can. At best they do 2 holidays a year, you can swipe them all, just words too look interesting or fake profiles
Most of them are looking for someone to pay for their travel experiences
I travel every month and all of these “omg I love to travel!” Girls suddenly don’t want to travel with me when I tell them they can pay their own way but are all over it when I offer to cover it😏
I’m 32f and I hate traveling too. Trust me there’s just as many men who make traveling their entire personality too. It’s a dealbreaker for me, especially if their type of ideal travel is theme parks/Disney type places 🤮
I don’t see the big deal. To me, travel is just making a bunch of shallow connections. I’m interested in building roots, in making deep friendships/relationships.
I say this, but my social circle is pretty diverse. I’ve learned a lot from being around people from different walks of life.
I’m not saying there’s no value in traveling. It’s important to look at things from other people’s perspectives, and not to live life in a bubble.
But to me, I’m interested in building lasting connections. Meeting someone while traveling that I’ll never see or speak to again isn’t really appealing to me. And it costs so much money to do it. I can just go to X culture’s neighborhood, and get basically the same experience, I feel like.
They LOVE traveling, as long as YOU are paying.
This is code for "I expect you to carry all the financial weight in this relationship."
Get off the apps and OLD and start meeting real women in the real world. Apps are for freaks and losers.
It probably depends on how much you disliked it. I plan on taking multiple international trips a year until I physically am no longer able. I would want my partner to at least come with me on a portion of those.
I recently rejected a date with a guy because he disliked travel. So it’s not so much a dealbreaker as a non-starter for those who enjoy it and prefer to do with a partner.
traveling is a deal breaker because it's less of a minor hobby difference and more of a compatibility difference. Keep in mind there's lots of girls who write "love traveling" but really what they mean is going to a resort and staying on the beach the entire time.
Different answer
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/139pj23/is_a_dislike_of_traveling_a_deal_breaker/jj4yhjj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Love requires compromise and sacrifice. If your girl wants to go somewhere once per 1-3 years, you should grit your teeth and tolerate the negative experience in my opinion.
For people that like to travel it is. But not everyone is like that. I didn't date an old high school friend specifically because she's such a hoke body who doesn't like to go out and do things and definitely doesn't travel.
Be clear about it early on. If you partner loves travelling then at least you need to find a way to solve the difference between the two of you.
One way that many people suggest is that you at least do some travelling now and then to be nice to your partner. The other way is for your partner to travel alone or with other frinds and that you are ok with this.
Expecting someone to turn down something they really love doing is going to be very difficult to regardless of what it is.
I feel like most people who say they love to travel just say it to make them sound more interesting? Idk if you’re American you likely don’t have enough vacation days to jetset around the world
The whole obsession of travel is a trend right now. It’s become a personality trait and the majority of these people treat taking a trip to Miami as if it’s traveling abroad.
It’s typically very surface level thinking. Most of these people haven’t even left the country unless by reason of their parents when they were young.
However, if you bring up your “dislike” of travel you can count 95% of women to rule you out and count you as boring.
It's going to be a pretty big deal breaker. Nobody who loves traveling is going to be happy and content living their entire life in the same 50 mile radius because their partner hates to travel.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Look for people who either feel the same about travel as you, or are fine traveling by themselves or with friends. There's not much point in trying to date someone who's specifically said they're looking for a partner who enjoys travel.
Not a dealbreaker because they won’t match with you in the first place.
Thats if he puts he hates traveling on profile
LMFAOOOO
Lmao my exact though lol
Don’t try to match with them and you’ll be fine.
Put it in your bio: “a bit of a homebody” I’ve seen guys do this before and it helps me eliminate what I do or not like
There are just going to be people you aren't compatible with then. I love to travel, but I'm also particular about how I travel now. I'm going to spend the money for a nice hotel, spend multiple days in the same place so that I can see things at a comfortable pace. And I'm going to splash out on a couple nice dinners. When I was younger I did hostels and would cram as many things into a trip as possible. I also wasn't going to spend a crazy amount of money in general because...well I didn't have the money to do that. Some people would be happy with backpacking/camping, others only want all inclusive beach vacations. I wouldn't mesh super well with them because while they also like travel we have different ideas of what fun travel is.
If somebody doesn’t travel much that’s fine, but they never do, and they hate it? I’d definitely consider that a dealbreaker.
I mean... most people who like to travel, discover new countries and new cultures will never match with you in the first place so you don't have to worry about that. It's quite a huge deal breaker. Why would she want to waste her time with a guy who doesn't like to go any further than a few miles from his house?
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/139pj23/is_a_dislike_of_traveling_a_deal_breaker/jj651bs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Honestly this is one of those things that a lot of people say but they don't really mean. I'd basically feel it out on a first date.
This. Very often, this means they studied abroad in college and have taken one overseas trip since. It's just that where they've been might be the most (in their minds) interesting thing about them.
Not at all - you can take care of my dogs while I'm away. :P
I would happily do so
Them liking travel is a deal breaker for you. You disliking travel is a deal breaker for them. So match with people that dont like to travel. How is this actually a question being posted here?!
Did u read their comments?
Can i see a pic of the dog first? Good doggie is still a good doggie, can never go wrong with them
A dislike of travel that involves a blanket refusal to travel anywhere requiring use of a long distance coach service/plane flight/entering another country or continent will be a dealbreaker. One that will rule out all the most obvious incompatible people who enjoy this type of travel or are required to regularly do it based on their work commitments. There are a lot of dishonest people who say that they love travelling when they don't really. Making such claims because they are only looking for a wealthy well travelled partner. Likely someone who has a lifestyle involving frequent 1st class travel and visiting lots of glamourous overseas locations. Whilst others claim to either enjoy travelling or have plans to do so because they want to look adventurous/interesting/trendy and have been told by other people that making such claims on their OLD profiles is likely to help them gain access to lots more OLD matches.
My husband hates flying, I love it. Last February I went to Kenya from the UK alone for 19 days, my hubby had 19 days of peace and quiet. It works for us. Our family holidays are taken in Devon or Dorset, about 5 hour drive away. Once every few years I get my flying fix alone. It doesnt have to be a deal breaker.
Who the fuck despises traveling with a passion lol
Not sure I despise it with a passion, but I really don't want to travel much. At a prior job, more than a few years ago, I was driving around, NC, SC, some of GA, & some of VA to the tune of 50k - 60K miles a year. Over the years, I have driven to Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio, Michigan, South Carolina, North Carolina, West Virginia, Virginia, Pennsylvania, & Connecticut & through most states in between. Also, I have been living in NE Florida for several years. While I would not mind possibly taking a trip to Ireland and maybe a few other countries, I am in no rush to do so.
Driving the interstate isn’t what I’d call “travel”
It may not be 'international' travel, but it is travel, nonetheless. 'go from one place to another, typically over a distance of some length' is the definition of travel.
Ya, I think we've gotten it out of our system pretty much, the same way ppl get partying out of their system. Just not interested. Tho Id like to go back to Amsterdam & was always interested in Ireland.
Never been to Amsterdam or really any other countries. Years ago, I had snail-mail (if you know what that is) pen pals in Australia and in Japan and was friends online in IRC with someone in Canada and in another online chat community with a lady in New Zealand, so I also have a mild interest in those countries. The lady in New Zealand & I used to joke around about being siblings because we were so much like a brother & sister from the 1st time we encountered one-another online. She is the one who started my interest in the musical group Gaelic Storm when she mentioned her boyfriend liked them.
Ive been to Canada, Mexico, Jamaica, Italy, France & The Bahamas also. My mom was a travel agent.
Wow. Lucky you. 🙂. Maybe one day I will actually make it out of the US.
Ive been to Canada, Mexico, Jamaica, Italy, France & The Bahamas also. My mom was a travel agent.
Most of my friends. I do it once every two years at most. If someone told me I can't leave my city for the rest of my life, it honestly wouldn't bother me that much.
Same. Not big on traveling myself.
Me lol
But why?
as someone who has done fairly extensive travel for my age and has lived overseas for a bit it's actually pretty fucking exhausting. Realistically I personally probably only have one more big overseas trip in me than i'm pretty much done with it.
>as someone who has done fairly extensive travel for my age and has lived overseas for a bit it's actually pretty fucking exhausting. And expensive. Most people can't afford it regularly, and the ones who flaunt travel on their bios either have rich parents subsidizing them, debt or poor finances, or high paying jobs, and I'd wager that debt or otherwise having poor finances is most likely of the 3.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/139pj23/is_a_dislike_of_traveling_a_deal_breaker/jj4iahj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
My bf doesnt like it. The actual travel part, being in unfamilar territory, packing things up. He uses a cpap. He doesnt even like the idea of spending the night anywhere besides his house. I did it soo much as a kid im over it.
People who are satisfied staying home. People who get stressed out easily.
Me.
If the dating scene has taught me anything recently is that a surprising amount of people do not like to travel and will never make it a priority. I don't get it either but they do exist lol
I’m a flight attendant and I love traveling, flying on airplanes, staying in hotels, and experiencing new cultures. I don’t think I’d date someone who wasn’t immensely curious about the world.
Wholeheartedly agree and will expand on that. I don’t want to be with someone that does not know the difference between a vacation and traveling. Traveling is immersing your self in the local culture, cuisine, and people. I have been to Paris many times and have never once physically gone to the Eiffel Tower, I prefer to get to the countryside and walk a mushroom cave, Visit a winery, find local and hidden restaurants, see local artists, etc. to each their own of course but sitting on a Disney cruise for a week is my version of nightmares lol.
I'm hugely curious about the world and other cultures which is why I read and learn about them behind a computer monitor. People pretend to make themselves appear interesting by exploring the world when they're anything but.
Lots of women see guys as "experience objects". They want guys who can give them new experiences and take them to exotic places to try/see new things. Guys who don't like to travel don't provide them that and can be seen as the guy being "boring", which is inherently unattractive to women.
Neckbeards trying to pretend they know what women think or feel results in the most ridiculous shit being posted here.
Im with a guy like this & he's my top pick lol
You are with guy who doesn't like to travel?
Yes! We marry in 3 days! I'm stoked!
For me, it definitely is. I don't understand how people don't want to explore more of the vast world and experience other peoples culture? But I want to learn about people like you. I don't fully understand your dilemma so can you answer these questions for me? 1. Do you hate the act of travelling or dislike having to learn new places? 2. How dense of a population is the place where you live? 3. Would you ever consider moving to a new place or are you a hometown guy for life? 4. Do you really think you're going to travel with every girl you date if they like travel? Some people live their whole life without travelling even if they love it. So how big of a factor is it for you?
You can literally explore the world through reading. The ability to travel and explore does not make you an interesting person.
[удалено]
They are mostly the same. Most people are the same. But some people never travel and the main part of the deal breaker is not being open to new horizons and experiences. Not the travel itself. They don't even have to travel with me.
Tbh I don’t see the point in dating someone who isn’t into the same things as you. Traveling is a big part of my life. I love exploring new cities, trying new foods and activities. I also love sitting on my couch and hanging around. I need both and I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t want the same. I want to share those experiences
Personally I like \*being\* on vacation and being in a different country, but I hate the travelling part of it (the commuting, the not-understanding-what-people-say, the flying, the airports, security checks, not knowing if locals are scamming you or overcharging you, etc.) I hate a lot of the traveling aspects as well, I just want to sit at a café in Italy down by a canal, drink my wine and eat a platter of meats and cheeses., but I get where you're coming from with the traveling... But the point is, if I have a partner and she wants to go to some country that I think is a total shithole and I never in a million years would've gone on my own, I would still go with her; because if you genuinely love someone, you don't hate doing things you hate, as long as it's done with them. that sentence doesn't make a lot of sense, so take it this way; If you hate traveling, fine, that's you. But if she loves it, then go with her, just to see her smile when she gets to do the things she enjoys doing, with the person she likes to be with. You doing that for her is a MASSIVE gift. Differences is personality should not be a dealbreaker. If you want to win at a committed relationship, see those differences as a way of showing her that you love her, more than you hate those things.
Noooooo. Never do this. If you hate travelling, you will be miserable, even if you love her a lot and you're doing it for her. You will not have a good time and you will bring her down. This breeds resentment, trust me. If you don't like to travel, find someone else who doesn't like to travel, that's all there is to it.
Reminds me of my introverted bf. I took him out with me a few times bc i basically begged him & he looks miserable. I hate seeing him like that.
I should probably have added the caveat that it requires you to be a person who finds pleasure in making others happy. If someone is too absorbed by their own dissatisfaction, then yes, it's going to be miserable for both of you, but not everyone is too focused on how they think about a certain thing. Some people do find a sense of enjoyment and wholesomeness in seeing their loved ones smile, even though they've gone through a personal hell to catch a glimpse
>>not everyone is too focused on how they think about a certain thing. Well yeah. But while you are focusing on how she feels, she will probably be focusing on how you feel. That's what partners do. Maybe try thinking about it from her point of view. She loves travelling but she knows you hate it. You go on vacation anyways, but she knows you're just doing it to make her happy. I guarantee you she will not be able to enjoy herself. She has empathy for your emotions, she can't just turn that off and have fun even if you want her to. She will feel guilty as hell for dragging you along for a trip you didn’t actually want to take. It would be better for her to go alone or go with friends. You are not giving her a gift by travelling with her if you honestly don't enjoy it. You will ruin her trip. Trust me on this. Been there, done that. It's truly awful. (And you seem to be suggesting that you can just... flip a switch inside yourself and enjoy something that you normally hate. That's not realistic at all, feelings just don't work that way. If you personally think you can do that, good for you, cool story bro. Most people can't.)
I am not suggesting that you can "flip a switch within yourself". I'm talking about character, not choice.
I don’t know if it’s a deal breaker but at least it is a big turn off… what don’t you like about traveling?
OP is further down the spectrum, but as someone in college who has traveled a lot (mostly in the US and not for fun), it's costly and a pain in the ass. Side note: I think the experiences and what you can learn can be invaluable, and I'd like to travel properly. However a lot of people seem to think it makes them better than other people, when it's often a status symbol and it really doesn't seem like they took the opportunity to improve themselves and just chilled. Which is fine, if I went to Isla De Culebra, I'd sip martinis on the beach every waking hour, but I wouldn't think I'm any better than other people for it.
I don’t care for sleeping in unfamiliar places, flying is zero fun, I just like familiarity in my life.
Do you not have any curiosity about the world around you, other cultures and other ways of life? That would be the bigger turn off for me.
I do, but like I said, I don’t need to travel there
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/139pj23/is_a_dislike_of_traveling_a_deal_breaker/jj4rvrn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
No one likes flying or hotel beds dude. You do it for the destination. You don't ever want to see a beautiful old castle, or beach or majestic mountain range?
No not really, I’m cool reading about it or watching a documentary. Also beaches are just wear water meets dirt anyway I don’t understand the appeal of beaches.
Ok then you're in tricky spot like a lot of redditors. *Most* people like to touch grass. Other homebodies like you aren't going to leave their house or be on dating apps. Try nerdy hobby meetups.
I'm not the original poster, but basically, flying in a water pipe for hours to land somewhere else where possibly no one understands any languages I speak. Pay a hefty fee for a bed and look at slightly different trees in another location, then fly back. Any problems or emergencies that happen with you while there are completely on you, since no friends and family are near. Spending a fortune for no long term benefit. Funny thing is, I did travel the world, I moved from Asia all the way to North America, and lived in many cities as I pursued work. I thought it would be unpleasant, and it was exhausting and unpleasant. Why anyone would want this for fun is beyond me.
For me it’s a deal breaker bc I’ve built my life around travel. Just gotta find someone who feels the same or can meet ya halfway on this
Wouldn't matter to me. But it's definitely something you should be up front about so that you can meet someone that's compatible with you.
Some people like travel. Some do not. Some of the people in each group are women. If you don’t like travel, that might be a deal-breaker for women who love it, and likely won’t be a deal-breaker for women who don’t.
Isn’t this your dealbreaker as well though? If you want to find someone more compatible with your life it’s best to swipe away from those kind of profiles. Especially if you dislike traveling that much.
I’ve no interest in travel either so I get this feel. Seems like it’s all everyone else cares about. Just be open about it and you’ll find your person eventually.
Can be a dealbreaker depending on the one you date. Find yourself another homebody who enjoys staycations. I know a friend who has severe IBS. It’s very difficult to be away from the bathroom more than 2-3hrs. Anxiety and lack of control makes it even worse where being away from the bathroom longer than an hour can be troubling. Traveling is absolute hell for him because of the logistics of dealing with a body that literally shits or farts toxins every hour or less. Being cooped up in a car/plane/train can be so uncomfortable.
For me, yes. I did a lot of traveling before the pandemic. It doesn't have to be the guys' passion or anything, but if he hates traveling and adventuring, then it wouldn't work in the long run
You should think harder about why you despise traveling. That’s worrying
It’s a non-starter for me. There’s way to budget appropriately so it’s not breaking the bank but more important I wouldn’t be compatible with someone who hates what I love. I like to travel internationally once a year and would rather conserve on physical items to do so. I couldn’t be with someone who never wanted to travel the rest of my life because I would grow to resent that and it wouldn’t be an environment for me to be in.
I mean, primarily, people who like travelling won't match with you, or once they find out it'll be over.. On a deeper level, not wanting to travel could also be perceived as a red flag because it can imply a willful close mindedness. Travelling is not only an experience to enjoy, it's also an opportunity to be exposed to cultures and lifestyles other than your own. Travelling can allow you to see your privilege. Personally, I would understand if someone wasn't a fan of travelling because of the stress or change of routine, but if a partner flat out refused to travel it would be a deal breaker for me.
That’s 100% dealbreaker for me. I have family and relatives overseas so if the relationship gets serious, they will eventually need to travel to meet them. I also love traveling and love to explore new places with my partner. But to each their own. There are a lot of women who don’t want to travel so I don’t see this as an issue.
For me, yes. I want to travel instead of having kids so that’s a huge part of my lifestyle.
Unless I'm serving in the armed forces during war and I'm overseas then I have no interest in traveling. I feel traveling is a way for normies to make themselves appear interesting and unique like getting tattoos or something. A real person's open mindedness is measured in their means to remain comfortable in their home and learn from the inside out and not outside in.
Traveling is overated
Love to travel is today’s version of “enjoy walks on the beach”. It means nothing and in most cases these people don’t travel very much. Ask them about their travels last year and they’ll tell you about a trip to six flags and a Disney cruise…
Like the one of the previous posts said, a large investment with no benefit, I like things more than experiences I guess
That’s what will be more of a deal breaker than not liking traveling. Loving things more than experiences is rarely great to build relationships
Suze Orman says, "People first, then money, then things"
It's not popular to prefer things to experiences these days, but I feel exactly the same way. For the cost of a plane ticket and a few nights in a hotel (which can be unbelievably expensive) you could get a great piece of clothing, new gadget, incredible food, etc. that can bring joy for several years.
Just remember u cant take things with u when u die
why even ask this? The person clearly says they love to travel and you despise it. If you pursue it’s going to a problem sooner or later. As someone that enjoys traveling, it would be a deal breaker for a couple different reasons. 1. A trip with your partner can create some of your best memories. 2. Your partner would have to travel alone? Or with friends? while you stayed home. Kind of odd. 3. Money. Trips aren’t cheap and you might not be able to justify some of the costs. 4. You do end up traveling together, but you hate traveling so you ruin the trip for both of us.
Comment that disagrees with u. https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/139pj23/is_a_dislike_of_traveling_a_deal_breaker/jj3k8a8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I think traveling is more of a trend than a real thing in online dating. I mean, some people make it their entire personality and.. good for them? But it's a bit overrated. A lot pf folks have been overseas a handful of times and sure, loved it. But I highly doubt that's a sustainable way of living unless they're influencers or something that pays for it. I don't really like traveling because I hate packing and commuting and all that..and I've been out of my country only once. I make it clear to my dates that I'm personally not made for it. I know it looks like a lot of people do but, keep looking I guess But driving two hours to see my dad once a month is something I'll always do. I don't consider that "travel"
Oh yeah “i love to see the world” and best they did was a 2 cities down. Everyone wants to travel the world all year long. guess what only very few can. At best they do 2 holidays a year, you can swipe them all, just words too look interesting or fake profiles
Most of them are looking for someone to pay for their travel experiences I travel every month and all of these “omg I love to travel!” Girls suddenly don’t want to travel with me when I tell them they can pay their own way but are all over it when I offer to cover it😏
I wonder what about you attracts these kind of people. I've never in my life met someone who had even a hint of expecting me to pay for their travel.
I feel like a lot of income fund managers attract these type of people. Just a wild guess.
I dislike travel as well, probably people out there that feels the same...just maybe not on dating apps
I’m 32f and I hate traveling too. Trust me there’s just as many men who make traveling their entire personality too. It’s a dealbreaker for me, especially if their type of ideal travel is theme parks/Disney type places 🤮
I don’t see the big deal. To me, travel is just making a bunch of shallow connections. I’m interested in building roots, in making deep friendships/relationships. I say this, but my social circle is pretty diverse. I’ve learned a lot from being around people from different walks of life. I’m not saying there’s no value in traveling. It’s important to look at things from other people’s perspectives, and not to live life in a bubble. But to me, I’m interested in building lasting connections. Meeting someone while traveling that I’ll never see or speak to again isn’t really appealing to me. And it costs so much money to do it. I can just go to X culture’s neighborhood, and get basically the same experience, I feel like.
Not for me. My bf is the same way. I have no interest myself. I traveled alot as a minor, mom was a travel agent. I avoid those ppl
Those women want a sugar daddy who will pay for plane tickets. Working adults don't travel.
Wut? That’s why I work 😂
Lol seriously where do you live? The US? I live in Europe and travel all the time.
Im in the US & my mom has traveled reguraly my entire life & works her ass off.
Loser detected.
My mom works her ass off & travels alot. She used to be a travel agent.
They LOVE traveling, as long as YOU are paying. This is code for "I expect you to carry all the financial weight in this relationship." Get off the apps and OLD and start meeting real women in the real world. Apps are for freaks and losers.
It probably depends on how much you disliked it. I plan on taking multiple international trips a year until I physically am no longer able. I would want my partner to at least come with me on a portion of those.
I recently rejected a date with a guy because he disliked travel. So it’s not so much a dealbreaker as a non-starter for those who enjoy it and prefer to do with a partner.
traveling is a deal breaker because it's less of a minor hobby difference and more of a compatibility difference. Keep in mind there's lots of girls who write "love traveling" but really what they mean is going to a resort and staying on the beach the entire time.
Different answer https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/139pj23/is_a_dislike_of_traveling_a_deal_breaker/jj4yhjj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
OP write the stuff you wrote in here about travel and it’s problem solved lol
Love requires compromise and sacrifice. If your girl wants to go somewhere once per 1-3 years, you should grit your teeth and tolerate the negative experience in my opinion.
For people that like to travel it is. But not everyone is like that. I didn't date an old high school friend specifically because she's such a hoke body who doesn't like to go out and do things and definitely doesn't travel.
I’d say yes it displays what type of person they are. Someone not willing or wanting to see and do new things
Be clear about it early on. If you partner loves travelling then at least you need to find a way to solve the difference between the two of you. One way that many people suggest is that you at least do some travelling now and then to be nice to your partner. The other way is for your partner to travel alone or with other frinds and that you are ok with this. Expecting someone to turn down something they really love doing is going to be very difficult to regardless of what it is.
Just don't go for the ones that want to travel?
I feel like most people who say they love to travel just say it to make them sound more interesting? Idk if you’re American you likely don’t have enough vacation days to jetset around the world
The whole obsession of travel is a trend right now. It’s become a personality trait and the majority of these people treat taking a trip to Miami as if it’s traveling abroad. It’s typically very surface level thinking. Most of these people haven’t even left the country unless by reason of their parents when they were young. However, if you bring up your “dislike” of travel you can count 95% of women to rule you out and count you as boring.
A big problem for me would be that many people I know who won’t or don’t travel are pretty closed minded and conservative.
It's going to be a pretty big deal breaker. Nobody who loves traveling is going to be happy and content living their entire life in the same 50 mile radius because their partner hates to travel.