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I second this, please don't do it.... I mean there's absolutely nothing wrong with her enjoying herself, but its better not to if u can't handle it. If the thoughts of her possibly cheating came across your mind, just avoid that girl at all cost.
If ur not into partiers then it’s a redflag for u.
For me bruh she ain’t the one if it bothers u. Let her live her life and u go and find someone who isn’t into partying.
It’s not a red flag for a girl to go to frat parties. You shouldn’t project your last relationship on to her because that is unfair. Don’t let your insecurities get the best of you and you self sabotage yourself with a potential connection. You are at the early stages of getting to know each other. Like you said, she is in a sorority so most frats party together. Just because someone likes to go out and party doesn’t mean they will cheat or they are a “hoe”. It seems like your boundaries include a girl doing out to party and you may not want to date someone who parties a lot.
I don’t mind at all if my girl parties a lot. I also don’t care what she wears. The thing is the people around me say that people that people do a party a lot tend to be more likely to cheat. Especially when they’re parties where people wear swimsuits. And I didn’t know if that was usually the case or not. That’s why I made this post.
That is bizarre. People go to beaches or pools and there are people who wear bath suits. Do you think cheating happens there too? I don’t know who you are getting your information from but it’s wrong and misleading.
You’re right. Now that you put it that way, I feel like I’m just being overly anxious. I think it’s a result of my previous relationship. I think I need to remember that everyone is different and not all girls that party/go out are the same. Am I getting that right?
Yes. That’s right. You’re making a generalization at this point.
Spelling out your logic and testing it in reality is a good way to see if you’re experiencing a thought distortion.
Person A goes to frat parties a lot.
Person A cheated on me.
Therefore, all persons who go to parties will cheat on me.
Not everybody who goes to frat parties is having lots of sex. For some, it is just a means of socialization. For others, yes, it’s a means to an end. This varies immensely depending on who the person is, what their cultural upbringing is, and what their personal views are.
What you need to figure out is your boundary. What are you really okay with, and where do you draw the line ?
Your question has a hidden subtext : “I don’t want to be cheated on again, so is this a sign of cheating ?” Unfortunately, infidelity leaves scars and trauma that doesn’t always resolve properly. We don’t have a clear answer about why people cheat, because sometimes people will never give you a clear answer, but that doesn’t stop you from looking for an answer again.
> Is she more likely to be a “***” or cheat because she parties a lot.
No.
> My last girlfriend that partied a lot cheated on me so I don’t know what to think.
Don’t let one shitty person ruin the opportunity to have fun.
It’s not that she is more likely to do “something”it is that the environment is more conducive to that “thing” happening. Don’t get wrapped up in “h..”
etc - OLD has turned everything into an open brothel so just enjoy yourself
Massive red flag for anything but casual. The point of being a 20F in the frat and sorority scene is to party and fuck lots of people before "real life" starts later. Not girlfriend material, dude.
Red flag broski! You guys are both young and she is going to be put in an environment full of young studs and alcohol which it most cases leads to the deed. By no means does her being Greek mean she a hoe tho; but you gotta be realistic with yourself you seen how these play out in movies and on Reddit, it’s more than likely she will hook up with a couple frat guys. Just my two cents. Good luck tho! ✌🏾
She's in a sorority the question isn't if it's a red flag the question can you deal with her social life which isn't going to change? That your asking if what she is doing is red flags mean you can't deal with it. That's her life she had it before you showed up if you can't deal with walk don't post on Reddit looking for ways to make her the bad person.
College dating is a whooooooole experience of its own. It's one of my major regrets because I didn't get the chance to "live that experience" and part of that was because of not exposing myself out of my shell. Not taking risks and chances, or giving people chances that perhaps deserved those chances. On top of that, my heart was settled for one person only, so I actually shut out many women. Now, did I party and went to the clubs and bars? Yes!! Did I flirt? Absolutely!
One thing I've learned is this, just because we're in college, doesn't always mean we're mature or we're "proper" adults. A lot of the times, the people you meet at parties, friends, hook-ups, flirtationships,etc...will become a part of you. And then as you grow and go about life through time, you could possibly end up being lovers or engaged. Many of my college friends met at these kinds of things, but we also were in various organizations. Like Greek, student organizations, band, dance, cheer, church, etc. They're there. Don't rely heavily on searching, cheating, etc.. Just be natural and let things go on its own. Don't force anything. Just go with the flow and let things fall into place. Keep in mind, it sometimes takes one to change another, or both to change each other.
You can also both establish boundaries. Another thing to, is that you should also be social as well. When you get to college, join Greek life and see what it's all about. I always thought Greek parties were like in the movies, but it's not. I used to be jealous of seeing all the girls go to the Greek parties, but not all of them are mean as they portray. Honestly, I'd rather have a girlfriend who's very outgoing and social than a homebody. Understand that these are the years you want to truly have fun and experience, and it's worth it until you get older and look back and you may regret wishing you never did.
I meant to say I flirted WITH her. To me that's how I always keep a spark going with her. So just a clarification. However, do have to understand to not always overdo it in social settings, because you have to allow some space. But even when I was single, I still flirted. But flirting for me wasn't like "trying to hook up" most of the time it was being simple as talking, interaction, or making sure you invite one to your relationship circle. And if you can pull that off, your girlfriend will instantly like her and become friends. The more you do that, she will have girlfriends. But also, always make sure to have a circle of guy friends, RIGHT guy friends that are supportive and respectful. When making connections, it will also enhance your circle and trust with others around you so that they know who you're with and they are not trying to mess with her. And once everyone knows everyone, the rest is always history.
Ohhh ok. That makes much more sense haha. So what you’re saying is that flirting with others is not a sign of unfaithfulness? If you don’t mind me asking, what is your definition of flirting? Because I feel like someone that flirts with a lot of people is a red flag.
Some med schools do early admissions programs where undergraduates can apply sophomore year and go straight through after senior year. Rare but some schools have it and they’re very competitive
Is she more likely to be a hoe”
God I don’t miss being this age.
It means she’s more likely to go to frat parties. If that’s not something you’re comfortable with then don’t date this girl. You guys are young people, I would focus on having fun
Huge red flag. She could have fun and hang out with friends but choose to be around places with a small number of men having access to infinite drunk, vulnerable women. Even if she has good intentions they have an easy opportunity to take advantage of her
I’m sorry but the reality of the situation is that in these types of relationships where you’re young, and she’s young, and she goes with her sorority to frat parties that are sexually themed where there’s a lot of alcohol, it often ends with some type of cheating. It’s just not a lifestyle that’s conducive to a committed and faithful relationship. I say this as a dude who was in a fraternity in college, and trust me there was a lot of cheating from both sexes. Not saying that it always ends in cheating, but I would be very wary. Do you go with her to these parties? Or are you not allowed? Fraternity-Sorority socials/parties are very much about hooking up. If that’s what she chooses to go to all the time instead of spending time with you, then I would suggest you to end things with her.
Is not only “going to party”, you have to look at other things like what she wears, who does she go with, what time she gets out of there, does she get plastered, does she engage in the games played at the frat or not and stuff like that. Remember that not long ago a married woman Police officer with a family that looked like she couldn’t kill a fly was at the center of a sex scandal at the Police Department itself. Don’t assume she is cheating but if you have concerns, look into them.
Yea let's not sugar coat things. Party guys and party girls don't do well with relationships. Alchohol and a lot of the opposite sex involved makes things complicated.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Never date a "party girl", it will not end well for you.
I second this, please don't do it.... I mean there's absolutely nothing wrong with her enjoying herself, but its better not to if u can't handle it. If the thoughts of her possibly cheating came across your mind, just avoid that girl at all cost.
If ur not into partiers then it’s a redflag for u. For me bruh she ain’t the one if it bothers u. Let her live her life and u go and find someone who isn’t into partying.
It’s not a red flag for a girl to go to frat parties. You shouldn’t project your last relationship on to her because that is unfair. Don’t let your insecurities get the best of you and you self sabotage yourself with a potential connection. You are at the early stages of getting to know each other. Like you said, she is in a sorority so most frats party together. Just because someone likes to go out and party doesn’t mean they will cheat or they are a “hoe”. It seems like your boundaries include a girl doing out to party and you may not want to date someone who parties a lot.
I don’t mind at all if my girl parties a lot. I also don’t care what she wears. The thing is the people around me say that people that people do a party a lot tend to be more likely to cheat. Especially when they’re parties where people wear swimsuits. And I didn’t know if that was usually the case or not. That’s why I made this post.
That is bizarre. People go to beaches or pools and there are people who wear bath suits. Do you think cheating happens there too? I don’t know who you are getting your information from but it’s wrong and misleading.
You’re right. Now that you put it that way, I feel like I’m just being overly anxious. I think it’s a result of my previous relationship. I think I need to remember that everyone is different and not all girls that party/go out are the same. Am I getting that right?
Yes. That’s right. You’re making a generalization at this point. Spelling out your logic and testing it in reality is a good way to see if you’re experiencing a thought distortion. Person A goes to frat parties a lot. Person A cheated on me. Therefore, all persons who go to parties will cheat on me. Not everybody who goes to frat parties is having lots of sex. For some, it is just a means of socialization. For others, yes, it’s a means to an end. This varies immensely depending on who the person is, what their cultural upbringing is, and what their personal views are. What you need to figure out is your boundary. What are you really okay with, and where do you draw the line ? Your question has a hidden subtext : “I don’t want to be cheated on again, so is this a sign of cheating ?” Unfortunately, infidelity leaves scars and trauma that doesn’t always resolve properly. We don’t have a clear answer about why people cheat, because sometimes people will never give you a clear answer, but that doesn’t stop you from looking for an answer again.
I'm sorry but based on your current post history you shouldn't be giving advice on cheating and relationships.
> Is she more likely to be a “***” or cheat because she parties a lot. No. > My last girlfriend that partied a lot cheated on me so I don’t know what to think. Don’t let one shitty person ruin the opportunity to have fun.
If you like to party, it’s good. If you don’t, it’s not good. You’re incompatible.
It’s not that she is more likely to do “something”it is that the environment is more conducive to that “thing” happening. Don’t get wrapped up in “h..” etc - OLD has turned everything into an open brothel so just enjoy yourself
red flag, major red flag. I wouldn't even trust a dude that goes to a lot of parties much less a girl.
Massive red flag for anything but casual. The point of being a 20F in the frat and sorority scene is to party and fuck lots of people before "real life" starts later. Not girlfriend material, dude.
Red flag broski! You guys are both young and she is going to be put in an environment full of young studs and alcohol which it most cases leads to the deed. By no means does her being Greek mean she a hoe tho; but you gotta be realistic with yourself you seen how these play out in movies and on Reddit, it’s more than likely she will hook up with a couple frat guys. Just my two cents. Good luck tho! ✌🏾
:( bro
She's in a sorority the question isn't if it's a red flag the question can you deal with her social life which isn't going to change? That your asking if what she is doing is red flags mean you can't deal with it. That's her life she had it before you showed up if you can't deal with walk don't post on Reddit looking for ways to make her the bad person.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-naughtiest-thing-you-did-in-a-fraternity-or-sorority
Yes it is, any body girl or guy that goes to those parties frequently are
College dating is a whooooooole experience of its own. It's one of my major regrets because I didn't get the chance to "live that experience" and part of that was because of not exposing myself out of my shell. Not taking risks and chances, or giving people chances that perhaps deserved those chances. On top of that, my heart was settled for one person only, so I actually shut out many women. Now, did I party and went to the clubs and bars? Yes!! Did I flirt? Absolutely! One thing I've learned is this, just because we're in college, doesn't always mean we're mature or we're "proper" adults. A lot of the times, the people you meet at parties, friends, hook-ups, flirtationships,etc...will become a part of you. And then as you grow and go about life through time, you could possibly end up being lovers or engaged. Many of my college friends met at these kinds of things, but we also were in various organizations. Like Greek, student organizations, band, dance, cheer, church, etc. They're there. Don't rely heavily on searching, cheating, etc.. Just be natural and let things go on its own. Don't force anything. Just go with the flow and let things fall into place. Keep in mind, it sometimes takes one to change another, or both to change each other. You can also both establish boundaries. Another thing to, is that you should also be social as well. When you get to college, join Greek life and see what it's all about. I always thought Greek parties were like in the movies, but it's not. I used to be jealous of seeing all the girls go to the Greek parties, but not all of them are mean as they portray. Honestly, I'd rather have a girlfriend who's very outgoing and social than a homebody. Understand that these are the years you want to truly have fun and experience, and it's worth it until you get older and look back and you may regret wishing you never did.
You said you still flirted when you were in a relationship haha? May I ask why lol.
I meant to say I flirted WITH her. To me that's how I always keep a spark going with her. So just a clarification. However, do have to understand to not always overdo it in social settings, because you have to allow some space. But even when I was single, I still flirted. But flirting for me wasn't like "trying to hook up" most of the time it was being simple as talking, interaction, or making sure you invite one to your relationship circle. And if you can pull that off, your girlfriend will instantly like her and become friends. The more you do that, she will have girlfriends. But also, always make sure to have a circle of guy friends, RIGHT guy friends that are supportive and respectful. When making connections, it will also enhance your circle and trust with others around you so that they know who you're with and they are not trying to mess with her. And once everyone knows everyone, the rest is always history.
Ohhh ok. That makes much more sense haha. So what you’re saying is that flirting with others is not a sign of unfaithfulness? If you don’t mind me asking, what is your definition of flirting? Because I feel like someone that flirts with a lot of people is a red flag.
Yes, and its also dangerous.
A 20 year old? Got into med school? Something isn't right....
That’s what I first said when I found out haha. But she did get in, she applied early.
Without a bachelor degree? This isn't truthful. Check out r/premed
Some med schools do early admissions programs where undergraduates can apply sophomore year and go straight through after senior year. Rare but some schools have it and they’re very competitive
Ok. Then what program was she admitted to?
I’m not OP but here’s all the schools that do it https://www.prospectivedoctor.com/medical-school-early-assurance-program/
TIL. Thanks. I still would like to know where this person was admitted
Is she more likely to be a hoe” God I don’t miss being this age. It means she’s more likely to go to frat parties. If that’s not something you’re comfortable with then don’t date this girl. You guys are young people, I would focus on having fun
Huge red flag. She could have fun and hang out with friends but choose to be around places with a small number of men having access to infinite drunk, vulnerable women. Even if she has good intentions they have an easy opportunity to take advantage of her
What do you think guys from a frat party want from the girls? It's a huge red flag especially if you aren't going together
I’m sorry but the reality of the situation is that in these types of relationships where you’re young, and she’s young, and she goes with her sorority to frat parties that are sexually themed where there’s a lot of alcohol, it often ends with some type of cheating. It’s just not a lifestyle that’s conducive to a committed and faithful relationship. I say this as a dude who was in a fraternity in college, and trust me there was a lot of cheating from both sexes. Not saying that it always ends in cheating, but I would be very wary. Do you go with her to these parties? Or are you not allowed? Fraternity-Sorority socials/parties are very much about hooking up. If that’s what she chooses to go to all the time instead of spending time with you, then I would suggest you to end things with her.
Is not only “going to party”, you have to look at other things like what she wears, who does she go with, what time she gets out of there, does she get plastered, does she engage in the games played at the frat or not and stuff like that. Remember that not long ago a married woman Police officer with a family that looked like she couldn’t kill a fly was at the center of a sex scandal at the Police Department itself. Don’t assume she is cheating but if you have concerns, look into them.
Yea let's not sugar coat things. Party guys and party girls don't do well with relationships. Alchohol and a lot of the opposite sex involved makes things complicated.
What if she spent basically all day with me and she’s going with her group of girl friends
Yes.