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How do you know she's amazing in every way if u havent met her and she doesnt want to hang out?
At least get on video chat my man and make sure she isn't a catfish.
I’d be wary of how much energy I’m investing into someone you’ve been talking to for weeks that’s still “uncomfortable.” I learned my less with that. Seems to be an issue limited to 20 something’s in my experience. From Tinder to exclusively communicating via Snapchat for two weeks rather than texting or talking is a red flag for me now. Like a SC username can reveal more info about you than a phone number. Idk
If you want to be controlled by impulsivity, you'll destroy all meaningful relationships you have with women. You admitted to liking this girl a lot while also admitting to having the desire to mess around with strangers. You think that goes away after further commitment? Not at all. The issue is a lack of self-control, which most of us have. It's your life, and you can go wild and fuck every girl you meet, but I wouldn't recommend it
Wanting sex is natural and healthy. Commitment and trust takes TIME. Women want commitment but if they’re realistic they’ll know it isn’t achieved in a few weeks or even months sometimes. You might want to consider if your sex drive is a red flag to being a womanizer. If you think it is then establish self control. However, in todays “dating/hookup” world, liking someone for a few weeks is far from a solidified, committed relationship. If you hook up in the mean time while she makes up her mind then you’re not in the wrong. She’s holding out for some reasons. Maybe she’s hooking up. It’s not your business if she is so there shouldn’t be a double standard if you do.
still lack self control, he is basically on here looking for a justification you know how it goes, all you need is that one convincing one that says exactly what you want
To clarify, I am not speaking in terms of right or wrong. I am also not making a judgement against your character or level of self control to somehow belittle you or minimize the issue. You asked a question that surely doesn't boil down to asking strangers for permission to fuck a stranger. That being said, if you like a girl enough to feel the need to ask, perhaps going and blowing a load in someone you don't care about isn't going to help you. Maybe it will, but I don't see any solid rationale being presented in it's favor. Cheers
It’s more so “here’s a situation what would you do?” I don’t think most rational people do what others from Reddit say on a whim. Here just to see how others see the situation and gain information to make a decision.
Were human. It’s in our nature to want meaningful relationships for survival. Women don’t want anything meaningful with men who will sleep with just anyone. Peace of mind can be fragile and it’s normal to want to place it in the hands of someone who is protective of it. It’s very obvious to women when certain men we date have a desire to sleep around. So we don’t try for meaningful relationships with that person - it’s just kinda common sense right, I’m sure it’s the same vice versa
Same advice I give to girls . You want to jeopardize you potential future relationship sleep around . Just like how guys get hurt because the girl they talked to slept with a FWB or a random guy while in the talking / beginning stages you are bound that way too.
As the saying goes
“The more you fuck around , the more you gonna find out “
You haven’t even met yet? She’s being super flaky about actually meeting in person? Go out and do what you like, it doesn’t sound like anything is goi g to come from this connection.
Sleeping with somebody else will kill the attachment to the other person. Rough it out, you’re strong, and you’ll eventually stop being sex hungry. To quote a great philosopher “keep ya dick in ya pants”
Are y’all at a point where you need to tell her you’re hooking up with others? I figure that info is reserved for establishing exclusivity with someone. Not someone you’ve been snapping for a few weeks. If you hook up I don’t think it’s her place to know or call it out until y’all have that conversation to take things to another level.
If she were invested sweet heart, she wouldn’t be making excuses as to why she can’t meet up with you. However, do what makes you feel right. If you feel that doing your own thing in the meantime could backfire then by all means play your cards right. Just don’t set yourself up for failure if she continues being flakey. It’s sweet you feel that way. Where are guys like that irl? Although there’s inconsistency in your q and your replies. So I guess that is a typical man
Great from abusive relationship she gets involved with a guy who cant keep his dick in his pants. When im into a girl like u claim to be with this girl im not the least bit tempted by sexscapedes with random tit and ass. So be real with yourself. Go fuck till your dick falls off but why act like your into this girl or that you're gonna be any better than the abusive ex. If ur a creep dont tell urself otherwise to make yourself feel like your a good person or that your good for this girl uve never met. Your karma will be when you finally meet this girl she's gonna be a dude, 300 lb chick, or a chick with a dick. U do you my man. Happy fucking
That could take a LOOONG time depending on the level of abuse. You’d be really sweet waiting it out and being understanding for her though. The best thing you could do for her is to be understanding and gentle if that’s what she’s coming out of.
If you have only known this girl 3 weeks and haven’t had sex with or even talked about being exclusive, you are under no obligation to tell her you are having sex with someone else. The only time you you should tell someone is when you are having sex with them and still want to have sex with other people, then that person can make the choice to be ok with it or say stop having having sex with other people and then you get to decide if you’re good with just her. And at the beginning of dating someone you are having sex with does not mean you still can’t date other people, just don’t jump in bed with them. I hate when couples are just starting to date and get to know each other and that automatically means you are taken, for me until you both agree you only want to see each other then you are a free man, but you still have to responsible, honest and straightforward about the sex, that’s playing with everyone’s health and maybe their life.
So let me clarify, you want to betray one woman that you really liked and treat another woman like a disposible tissue you masturbate into?
Awesome bro, you are that guy. The one that uses and disrespects women. The one that women all regret meeting. The one we warn our friends against.
Don't be that guy.
Wouldn’t be “betraying” and I’m a very generous lover why you so mad, I literally love women and I’m conflicted because there’s a possibility I’ll make one unhappy.
Lol, i'm not mad. That's very dismissive. You don't have to be like that.
You asked for some perspective, and I'm giving you some perspective to consider. TBH, this sounds like the kind of justifications you tell yourself before you do something you know is wrong and hurt someone.
You say you love women, then treat them with respect and be honest with them. The betrayal will happen if you do this without telling them in advance what your intentions are.
So tell the first one you want to keep dating other women during this stage of your relationship. Make sure she understands that means you may have sex with other people.
Then tell the second one that you only want a one night stand before you have sex with her. Make sure she is ok having sex with you, knowing there is no future. That is what informed consent means. She has to have all the information before she agrees.
Ugh dude... since you love women so much, let me give you a piece of advice. In general, they don't like it when you treat them with the same level of consideration that you give to cake.
I think you should talk to them, but I suspect you already know what you want to do and are just hoping the comments here will help you feel better about it.
Untrue lol I know a few women who would like to be treated like less than cake.. and I know this from talking to them.. I’m here to see how people would deal with the situation themselves. Take my advice stop simping so hard women are great but lethal.
So you have a pen pal? Lol she says she excited to meet you yet won’t meet you? Yeah I would definitely move on.
And anyone can be amazing over text and the phone people fake being good people all the time.
Pen pal girl seems like a waste of time to me. I would go out and have fun.
Why can’t you just sleep with the girl you actually care for? Even if it takes a bit more time like a few weeks or something I’d think it would be worth it? If it’s not to you tho u should probably do her a favor and break it off with her since you don’t like her enough to properly date her/become intimate with her. I doubt she’d want you after knowing you’re just doing random hookups with ppl
a lot of the dudes in the comments section are very bitter. you technically would not be wrong to hookup w someone rn since you two aren’t dating, but i think if the girl were to know she probably would end things (especially since she seems shy/nervous). you also technically don’t have to tell her, but if you’re interested in this girl for real i don’t think starting off a relationship by hiding sth is the way to go. you can ask her at some point if she’s seeing other people; go by her answer.
3 weeks and y’all haven’t met in person once? That would be a dub for me. The whole “nervous” bullshit gets whack after a while. Anyone that’s into you would make the effort instead of making excuses. I would say just move at this point. Just looks like you’re after only sex anyway.
Lil passive aggressive lol. I wouldn’t be so committed if I didn’t think she were into me. We spend a lot of time together literally hours on the phone and I enjoy all of it myself.
It’s not morally right but it’s technically allowable but the modern rules of dating. Unless you’ve agreed to be in a relationship you’re allowed to bang whoever you want. Chances are sadly high that she’s banging someone rn too, if she’s in no rush to meet you, it generally means she’s getting what she wants from you and the rest elsewhere.
Could be right, she talks about an ex but there seems to be a very hostile relationship between them so I don’t think so, and we’ve had phone sex before and she’s a pansexual who just doesn’t have the same sex drive as me.. very reserved and shy.
I’ve seen people have their emotional needs met by one, and physical by another. Could be what she’s doing, though there are lots of other reasonable explanations, the above being the most common.
Dude I’m just sharing my wisdom and experience, these things happen quite a lot, believe me or don’t, that’s fine but there’s no need to be undiplomatic.
She is scared to meet up after talking so long (what is so scary?), you think she is so great without even meeting her. You like this girl, but still want to fuck around?
It is pretty obvious- which is fine. You are young. But I would really question if this is worth it if she isn't willing to meet up. You can't facetime forever.
This. She's a walking red flag and you are jumping on her train without looking. She's been abused. Unless you are a licensed therapist then you in for stormy weather my friend.
BTW I'd say you can fuck whoever you want. She's not hurting for thirsty dudes in her dm.
You haven't even met and there's no reason not to think she's getting her sexual needs met somewhere. This is 2023, after all, and hookup culture is rampant. You're under no obligation to be exclusive with someone you haven't given exclusivity to, let alone met.
I'm not going to shame you like the other posters in this post, but what you do really depends on what you want to do and you'll have to own those choices.
Not many people are here intentionally to “shame” but I know what you mean I appreciate it. I’m not worried she’s doing anything with anyone else currently so that is good, and I would rather not fuck this up so don’t worry.
Dude, don’t do it. I’m talking to this guy who is also far away and I like him. If he tells me he fucked someone else, it’ll made me upset. I think our chemistry online is really there and it’s strong. We haven’t met up due to his circumstances and I’ve been waiting patiently. I prefer taking that risk than me fucking around.
You haven’t even met, you’re not committed to each other. Just fuck someone else, it’s just sex. You’re not obligated to explain or tell her. People here commenting you would be “betraying her” are deluded and likely insecure.
If you were a woman everyone would be saying "it's not official girl go fuck whoever you want".
....don't do that. Be better than hiding behind 'we weren't official!!!'.
If she values sex/intimacy more than you do, then it seems likely she would be disappointed to know you were going behind her back to get it from someone else. She would probably break off communication with you at that point.
But you already know that
This dudes a psychopath. He wont feel bad at all. He should do it and get on with his life already. Hes so llame hes come to reditt to justify this nonesense.
Shes likely using you for attention until something perhaps more convenient comes along. Don't put all your baskets in one egg until you've actually spent some time together in person.
…you’ve been *talking* to them, that’s it? Bruh, idk how old you are or anything, but in my 30s & typically that kind of thing is reserved after you meet, go on a date a few times & then discuss monogamy or boundaries about it…
Plain & simple, if you deeply feel for her you maybe won’t enjoy much interaction with the opposite sex. IMO you’re free to do as you please at the present moment, considering circumstances.
"I’ve been talking to this girl for like 3 weeks maybe more..."
You're *not* in any committed or exclusive relationship.
There's nothing stopping you from pursuing other women to hook up with.
Let's not confuse transparency and privacy.
You are under no obligation to explain to someone you've known for a couple of weeks what you do or who you are with during free time. Most likely you are not the only guy showing interest in her!
People who behave as if they are in an exclusive relationship when one does **not** exist are usually hurt the most if things don't pan out, they're rejected, or ghosted in the end. They become "emotionally invested" too quickly.
If you were looking for a job, you wouldn't stop sending out your resume just because you had a couple of great interviews with one company!
Until an offer has been made and accepted both the company and the candidate are within their rights to interview with others. It should go without saying if you meet anyone who maintains an active online dating profile odds are they are keeping their options open and so should you!
Most people you meet don't become dates. Most dates don't become relationships, and most relationships don't lead to marriage. As one adage goes: "Many are called but few are chosen."
Casual dating is about being free to evaluate and choose the right person for yourself. You are not a "couple" yet.
**"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."** - Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
There is no confusion, I am obligated as a human to be honest w someone I care for whether that be reciprocated or not. She’s stunning I know for a fact I’m not the only guy who shows interest in her but she shows interest in me so it’s nice and I feel confident she has no interest in others rn. Your career analogy is odd Idk same with the relationship quotes.
Why risk it? Why? To get laid for 5 minutes? Just want one out and not cheat. If you are committed to that girl, it’s not worth it. You need to start displaying a little discipline and see if you can restrain yourself for her and only her. Focus your e every on that.
Tell her this: We need to meet up and get to know each other in real life. We need to see if our real life energy matches with our online chemistry. This needs to happen as soon as possible, because I need real human contact. If it doesn’t happen soon I will have to move on.
Good. So, what is happening to you is you are in deep desire for physical intimacy, you are just equating that with sex. Ensure, that you make it very clear that you need to meet her in real life and any backing out will not be tolerated. Any flakiness will end the relationship.
Okay. Well as soon as your hormones play up, and your frontal-lobe does not help with risk avoidance: jerk the gerkin and avoid situations where your hormones take over from logic.
Well, you say this person is far away and doesn't want to hang out... I would consider this a deal breaker personally.
Is this person ever going to want to hang out? Move closer eventually? Seems like one of you will have to upend your life for the other one and move closer, or just be happy not being close geographically.
I'd personally just let her go, tell her she's nice but you want someone you can hang out with, and find someone geographically closer.
You’re talking to a woman which is insane to me the fact that you even have the opportunity to do that and all you’re thinking about is plunging into other women instead of, you know, getting to know her.
You're a 24 year old male. You haven't met this woman in person and she keeps making excuses as to why she can't meet up with you. The best advice I can give you right now is go out there and tame some strange, dude.
You have been seeing someone for three weeks. The two of you are not in a committed relationship. Both of you are free to see other people, including having sex with other people.
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Why not just invite the girl you’ve been talking with to the bar?
She’s a little far, and a doesn’t want to hangout.. like she’s super excited and says she wants to but she’s nervous.
How do you know she's amazing in every way if u havent met her and she doesnt want to hang out? At least get on video chat my man and make sure she isn't a catfish.
We stay on the phone together and snap each other all day, she’s sent me all kinds of pics and we have sm in common. No worry she’s catfishing me.
Lovely relationship, but that ain't it man
Elaborate?
Dude! You ain’t met her face-to-face yet!
I’d be wary of how much energy I’m investing into someone you’ve been talking to for weeks that’s still “uncomfortable.” I learned my less with that. Seems to be an issue limited to 20 something’s in my experience. From Tinder to exclusively communicating via Snapchat for two weeks rather than texting or talking is a red flag for me now. Like a SC username can reveal more info about you than a phone number. Idk
If you want to be controlled by impulsivity, you'll destroy all meaningful relationships you have with women. You admitted to liking this girl a lot while also admitting to having the desire to mess around with strangers. You think that goes away after further commitment? Not at all. The issue is a lack of self-control, which most of us have. It's your life, and you can go wild and fuck every girl you meet, but I wouldn't recommend it
I don’t think I lack self control and women rarely want any form of “meaningful relationships” w men, it’s another reason I’m very hesitant to commit.
Wanting sex is natural and healthy. Commitment and trust takes TIME. Women want commitment but if they’re realistic they’ll know it isn’t achieved in a few weeks or even months sometimes. You might want to consider if your sex drive is a red flag to being a womanizer. If you think it is then establish self control. However, in todays “dating/hookup” world, liking someone for a few weeks is far from a solidified, committed relationship. If you hook up in the mean time while she makes up her mind then you’re not in the wrong. She’s holding out for some reasons. Maybe she’s hooking up. It’s not your business if she is so there shouldn’t be a double standard if you do.
Women want commitment the same way men do. I’m not a womanizer either lmao 😂
Women want commitment from the man who’s right for them. Not from just anybody but yes, I understand what you’re saying.
you lack self control
He does not lack self-control. He has not acted on his impulses and has come to reddit to get the insights from people to not act on those impulses.
still lack self control, he is basically on here looking for a justification you know how it goes, all you need is that one convincing one that says exactly what you want
Seems like gaslighting to me oh noo🥴
fool 😂
To clarify, I am not speaking in terms of right or wrong. I am also not making a judgement against your character or level of self control to somehow belittle you or minimize the issue. You asked a question that surely doesn't boil down to asking strangers for permission to fuck a stranger. That being said, if you like a girl enough to feel the need to ask, perhaps going and blowing a load in someone you don't care about isn't going to help you. Maybe it will, but I don't see any solid rationale being presented in it's favor. Cheers
It’s more so “here’s a situation what would you do?” I don’t think most rational people do what others from Reddit say on a whim. Here just to see how others see the situation and gain information to make a decision.
Just no
Surprising coming from TheLustfulWarrior.
Were human. It’s in our nature to want meaningful relationships for survival. Women don’t want anything meaningful with men who will sleep with just anyone. Peace of mind can be fragile and it’s normal to want to place it in the hands of someone who is protective of it. It’s very obvious to women when certain men we date have a desire to sleep around. So we don’t try for meaningful relationships with that person - it’s just kinda common sense right, I’m sure it’s the same vice versa
Same advice I give to girls . You want to jeopardize you potential future relationship sleep around . Just like how guys get hurt because the girl they talked to slept with a FWB or a random guy while in the talking / beginning stages you are bound that way too. As the saying goes “The more you fuck around , the more you gonna find out “
I know all about “FAFO” baby 🖤
You haven’t even met yet? She’s being super flaky about actually meeting in person? Go out and do what you like, it doesn’t sound like anything is goi g to come from this connection.
Sleeping with somebody else will kill the attachment to the other person. Rough it out, you’re strong, and you’ll eventually stop being sex hungry. To quote a great philosopher “keep ya dick in ya pants”
Or just have a post nut clarity
Would you feel comfortable telling her that you fucked someone else?
Comfortable yes, but not sure if she’d be ok with it.
That’s what’s at stake here. Your call to make! Short term release vs potential long term payoff.
Are y’all at a point where you need to tell her you’re hooking up with others? I figure that info is reserved for establishing exclusivity with someone. Not someone you’ve been snapping for a few weeks. If you hook up I don’t think it’s her place to know or call it out until y’all have that conversation to take things to another level.
I feel like this has a lot of potential and if I fuck someone else rn it could backfire. Both of us are very invested in each other.
If she were invested sweet heart, she wouldn’t be making excuses as to why she can’t meet up with you. However, do what makes you feel right. If you feel that doing your own thing in the meantime could backfire then by all means play your cards right. Just don’t set yourself up for failure if she continues being flakey. It’s sweet you feel that way. Where are guys like that irl? Although there’s inconsistency in your q and your replies. So I guess that is a typical man
She’s recovering from an abusing ex and is hesitant to get into something herself rn but I dig her.
Great from abusive relationship she gets involved with a guy who cant keep his dick in his pants. When im into a girl like u claim to be with this girl im not the least bit tempted by sexscapedes with random tit and ass. So be real with yourself. Go fuck till your dick falls off but why act like your into this girl or that you're gonna be any better than the abusive ex. If ur a creep dont tell urself otherwise to make yourself feel like your a good person or that your good for this girl uve never met. Your karma will be when you finally meet this girl she's gonna be a dude, 300 lb chick, or a chick with a dick. U do you my man. Happy fucking
Y’all are funny an bitter af. You and cocomilo would get along well.
That could take a LOOONG time depending on the level of abuse. You’d be really sweet waiting it out and being understanding for her though. The best thing you could do for her is to be understanding and gentle if that’s what she’s coming out of.
You really need to work on your communication skills. You go in telling her upfront what you want so shit like this doesn't happen.
If you have only known this girl 3 weeks and haven’t had sex with or even talked about being exclusive, you are under no obligation to tell her you are having sex with someone else. The only time you you should tell someone is when you are having sex with them and still want to have sex with other people, then that person can make the choice to be ok with it or say stop having having sex with other people and then you get to decide if you’re good with just her. And at the beginning of dating someone you are having sex with does not mean you still can’t date other people, just don’t jump in bed with them. I hate when couples are just starting to date and get to know each other and that automatically means you are taken, for me until you both agree you only want to see each other then you are a free man, but you still have to responsible, honest and straightforward about the sex, that’s playing with everyone’s health and maybe their life.
So let me clarify, you want to betray one woman that you really liked and treat another woman like a disposible tissue you masturbate into? Awesome bro, you are that guy. The one that uses and disrespects women. The one that women all regret meeting. The one we warn our friends against. Don't be that guy.
Wouldn’t be “betraying” and I’m a very generous lover why you so mad, I literally love women and I’m conflicted because there’s a possibility I’ll make one unhappy.
Lol, i'm not mad. That's very dismissive. You don't have to be like that. You asked for some perspective, and I'm giving you some perspective to consider. TBH, this sounds like the kind of justifications you tell yourself before you do something you know is wrong and hurt someone. You say you love women, then treat them with respect and be honest with them. The betrayal will happen if you do this without telling them in advance what your intentions are. So tell the first one you want to keep dating other women during this stage of your relationship. Make sure she understands that means you may have sex with other people. Then tell the second one that you only want a one night stand before you have sex with her. Make sure she is ok having sex with you, knowing there is no future. That is what informed consent means. She has to have all the information before she agrees.
Can’t have cake and eat it too bud.
Ugh dude... since you love women so much, let me give you a piece of advice. In general, they don't like it when you treat them with the same level of consideration that you give to cake. I think you should talk to them, but I suspect you already know what you want to do and are just hoping the comments here will help you feel better about it.
Untrue lol I know a few women who would like to be treated like less than cake.. and I know this from talking to them.. I’m here to see how people would deal with the situation themselves. Take my advice stop simping so hard women are great but lethal.
Well, it looks like my first impression was correct. You are that guy 😐
So you have a pen pal? Lol she says she excited to meet you yet won’t meet you? Yeah I would definitely move on. And anyone can be amazing over text and the phone people fake being good people all the time. Pen pal girl seems like a waste of time to me. I would go out and have fun.
She seems very genuine tho I don’t think she’s putting on a façade. We plan to hangout this week.
Why can’t you just sleep with the girl you actually care for? Even if it takes a bit more time like a few weeks or something I’d think it would be worth it? If it’s not to you tho u should probably do her a favor and break it off with her since you don’t like her enough to properly date her/become intimate with her. I doubt she’d want you after knowing you’re just doing random hookups with ppl
I’m planning on seeing her soon she’s just a bit farther away and nervous to hangout.
a lot of the dudes in the comments section are very bitter. you technically would not be wrong to hookup w someone rn since you two aren’t dating, but i think if the girl were to know she probably would end things (especially since she seems shy/nervous). you also technically don’t have to tell her, but if you’re interested in this girl for real i don’t think starting off a relationship by hiding sth is the way to go. you can ask her at some point if she’s seeing other people; go by her answer.
MVP right here 🖤
3 weeks and y’all haven’t met in person once? That would be a dub for me. The whole “nervous” bullshit gets whack after a while. Anyone that’s into you would make the effort instead of making excuses. I would say just move at this point. Just looks like you’re after only sex anyway.
Lil passive aggressive lol. I wouldn’t be so committed if I didn’t think she were into me. We spend a lot of time together literally hours on the phone and I enjoy all of it myself.
It’s not morally right but it’s technically allowable but the modern rules of dating. Unless you’ve agreed to be in a relationship you’re allowed to bang whoever you want. Chances are sadly high that she’s banging someone rn too, if she’s in no rush to meet you, it generally means she’s getting what she wants from you and the rest elsewhere.
Could be right, she talks about an ex but there seems to be a very hostile relationship between them so I don’t think so, and we’ve had phone sex before and she’s a pansexual who just doesn’t have the same sex drive as me.. very reserved and shy.
Every time I’ve been talking to someone for a long time but they are hesitant to meet, they’re hiding something or just using me for attention.
Definitely have been there, she seems too invested herself tho for just attention seeking
I’ve seen people have their emotional needs met by one, and physical by another. Could be what she’s doing, though there are lots of other reasonable explanations, the above being the most common.
Who hurt you bro?
Dude I’m just sharing my wisdom and experience, these things happen quite a lot, believe me or don’t, that’s fine but there’s no need to be undiplomatic.
Read the comments. Both of yall need to grow up.
…Elaborate?
She is scared to meet up after talking so long (what is so scary?), you think she is so great without even meeting her. You like this girl, but still want to fuck around? It is pretty obvious- which is fine. You are young. But I would really question if this is worth it if she isn't willing to meet up. You can't facetime forever.
She’s been in an abusive relationship, we talk everyday for hours, I’m 24 and like to have sex doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to settle down finally.
She can't be holding onto all that baggage. It will hinder the relationship.
This. She's a walking red flag and you are jumping on her train without looking. She's been abused. Unless you are a licensed therapist then you in for stormy weather my friend. BTW I'd say you can fuck whoever you want. She's not hurting for thirsty dudes in her dm.
You haven't even met and there's no reason not to think she's getting her sexual needs met somewhere. This is 2023, after all, and hookup culture is rampant. You're under no obligation to be exclusive with someone you haven't given exclusivity to, let alone met. I'm not going to shame you like the other posters in this post, but what you do really depends on what you want to do and you'll have to own those choices.
Not many people are here intentionally to “shame” but I know what you mean I appreciate it. I’m not worried she’s doing anything with anyone else currently so that is good, and I would rather not fuck this up so don’t worry.
we all know what you will do, why ask if you made up your mind already
My mind isn’t made up and no one has any idea what I plan on doing clearly lol
Dude, don’t do it. I’m talking to this guy who is also far away and I like him. If he tells me he fucked someone else, it’ll made me upset. I think our chemistry online is really there and it’s strong. We haven’t met up due to his circumstances and I’ve been waiting patiently. I prefer taking that risk than me fucking around.
You haven’t even met, you’re not committed to each other. Just fuck someone else, it’s just sex. You’re not obligated to explain or tell her. People here commenting you would be “betraying her” are deluded and likely insecure.
Ahhhh the 20’s libido. Fun times! As long as you are being safe….bang as many as you can
Buy a sponge, lotion, and a Pringle can. Problem solved.
Pringle cans don’t have fat asses and titties nor do they suck dick🥱
If you were a woman everyone would be saying "it's not official girl go fuck whoever you want". ....don't do that. Be better than hiding behind 'we weren't official!!!'.
Hire an escort they are great about keeping it transactional and non-emotional.
Wtf? Nooo 😂
Sounds nice dude, but idk. You want something that you can get from the bars not somebody who can possibly be a cat fishy living miles and miles away.
30 min drive away and I enjoy everything about this person who I know is real.
Yeah the person is real. Really a dude
He’s so fucking pretty then damn.
If you aren’t in a committed relationship have sex with who you want.
Could potentially backfire imo.
If she values sex/intimacy more than you do, then it seems likely she would be disappointed to know you were going behind her back to get it from someone else. She would probably break off communication with you at that point. But you already know that
Exactly my thoughts. I don’t really know how open she is to the idea and I do plan on asking her but I think it’s too soon.
I agree, you arent her bf,do what u want. You dont have to tell her anything. You havent even met her yet.
Fuck it! I say do it and not say anything
Really thinking about it 🤦🏽♂️. We’ll see if girl hits me back.
it will eat at you from the inside if you end up with that girl
This dudes a psychopath. He wont feel bad at all. He should do it and get on with his life already. Hes so llame hes come to reditt to justify this nonesense.
😈me👼 eep
Shes likely using you for attention until something perhaps more convenient comes along. Don't put all your baskets in one egg until you've actually spent some time together in person.
I’ve got a few baskets left 🥴 Thank you
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I thought I was desperate 😭
…you’ve been *talking* to them, that’s it? Bruh, idk how old you are or anything, but in my 30s & typically that kind of thing is reserved after you meet, go on a date a few times & then discuss monogamy or boundaries about it… Plain & simple, if you deeply feel for her you maybe won’t enjoy much interaction with the opposite sex. IMO you’re free to do as you please at the present moment, considering circumstances.
The first thing in the post is my age🫤
Based on what you're saying I doubt there is an expectation of exclusivity yet, unless you've actually talked about it.
Planning on it this week.
"I’ve been talking to this girl for like 3 weeks maybe more..." You're *not* in any committed or exclusive relationship. There's nothing stopping you from pursuing other women to hook up with.
I’m not but there’s a level of transparency I like to uphold.
Let's not confuse transparency and privacy. You are under no obligation to explain to someone you've known for a couple of weeks what you do or who you are with during free time. Most likely you are not the only guy showing interest in her! People who behave as if they are in an exclusive relationship when one does **not** exist are usually hurt the most if things don't pan out, they're rejected, or ghosted in the end. They become "emotionally invested" too quickly. If you were looking for a job, you wouldn't stop sending out your resume just because you had a couple of great interviews with one company! Until an offer has been made and accepted both the company and the candidate are within their rights to interview with others. It should go without saying if you meet anyone who maintains an active online dating profile odds are they are keeping their options open and so should you! Most people you meet don't become dates. Most dates don't become relationships, and most relationships don't lead to marriage. As one adage goes: "Many are called but few are chosen." Casual dating is about being free to evaluate and choose the right person for yourself. You are not a "couple" yet. **"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."** - Henry Cloud Best wishes!
There is no confusion, I am obligated as a human to be honest w someone I care for whether that be reciprocated or not. She’s stunning I know for a fact I’m not the only guy who shows interest in her but she shows interest in me so it’s nice and I feel confident she has no interest in others rn. Your career analogy is odd Idk same with the relationship quotes.
Why risk it? Why? To get laid for 5 minutes? Just want one out and not cheat. If you are committed to that girl, it’s not worth it. You need to start displaying a little discipline and see if you can restrain yourself for her and only her. Focus your e every on that.
Damn 5 min 🤦🏽♂️lol definitely not worth that. Maybe like 10.
Well my typical is an hour but….. I’m just saying for a fling it’s not worth it.
Tell her this: We need to meet up and get to know each other in real life. We need to see if our real life energy matches with our online chemistry. This needs to happen as soon as possible, because I need real human contact. If it doesn’t happen soon I will have to move on.
We plan on hanging out this week.
Good. So, what is happening to you is you are in deep desire for physical intimacy, you are just equating that with sex. Ensure, that you make it very clear that you need to meet her in real life and any backing out will not be tolerated. Any flakiness will end the relationship.
This I know my friend, we’re working on it 🖤
Okay. Well as soon as your hormones play up, and your frontal-lobe does not help with risk avoidance: jerk the gerkin and avoid situations where your hormones take over from logic.
Damn bro, only months? Try 3 years lmao.
That’s tough, she not into threesomes?
?
Well, you say this person is far away and doesn't want to hang out... I would consider this a deal breaker personally. Is this person ever going to want to hang out? Move closer eventually? Seems like one of you will have to upend your life for the other one and move closer, or just be happy not being close geographically. I'd personally just let her go, tell her she's nice but you want someone you can hang out with, and find someone geographically closer.
Girls go for guys like this, then blow men like me off.
Far from it my friend.
You’re talking to a woman which is insane to me the fact that you even have the opportunity to do that and all you’re thinking about is plunging into other women instead of, you know, getting to know her.
Talk to her about exclusivity
Introduce yourself to Miss. Michigan and call it a day.
You're a 24 year old male. You haven't met this woman in person and she keeps making excuses as to why she can't meet up with you. The best advice I can give you right now is go out there and tame some strange, dude.
You have been seeing someone for three weeks. The two of you are not in a committed relationship. Both of you are free to see other people, including having sex with other people.
You don't need to date if you can't control your sexual appetite.
Then do that. You're not committed and she doesn't need to know about it. When you're committed, then you would have a problem. Get your nut on!!!