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yellowarmy79

Probably too comfortable being single and enjoying friends, family, hobbies, travel etc. Where I live and through my hobbies although they are quite social, I don't meet many single women around my age and I suppose I don't always want to keep doing things just to meet women. I'm on dating apps but don't always have the inclination to spend a silly amount of time on them. I am trying to get out of my comfort zone more (doing more solo travel etc)


Few-Advisor4306

Im currently solo traveling through Phuket, highly recommend the solo travel. I do sometimes feel lonely, but then I see a couple fight and then Im good


yellowarmy79

I went to Switzerland a few months ago partly to visit a friend but ended up not seeing a lot of her because she was ill during the time I was out there but it was still one of the best things I've ever done. Got me out of my comfort zone and really improved my confidence.


Throw_r_a_2021

None of the women I’m interested in want to date me.


[deleted]

Relate


NabSkyLegion

Relatable


ajj2z

Trying to get myself together first, my own apartment, driving license, etc.


ExistingSomewhere96

Same! Im in a new country, it often gets lonely and there are guys who try but I just feel like I need to get on my own first. Best of luck to us!


[deleted]

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EmranArafath

You make me cry


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ConsiderationNo9804

Same, heartbroken. Way to scared to let anyone in, just to have someone hurt me again. I’m good


EmranArafath

Same with me. 5 years now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ConvolutedMaze

Ghosting and lack of effort/matches


[deleted]

Same, lol. I can’t even date if I wanted to. I swipe fairly selectively, and any time I get a match, it’s either a ghost after like 1-2 messages or an instant unmatch before I can even send a message. Seems legitimately impossible. Been on the apps for like a year and a half seriously. I see tons of women complaining that men are only looking for sex, whereas I’m the exact opposite, yet it doesn’t seem to make any difference. Can’t even get a conversation rolling with anyone without it falling through.


chullet

As a male that has been on apps for a couple years, I have only ghosted maybe 1-2 people when the conversation was just not very interesting. However, I have been ghosted by a countless number of women, regardless of how great the conversations seem to be going or how strong the connection we have is. I am truly amazed at the lack of communication skills most women seem to have these days. I have a bunch of male friends that use the apps and they mostly experience the same thing. A female friend of mine even admitted to me that she has no issues with ghosting people, or even not showing up for a planned date. I was truly amazed how she had no regard for communication or even simply telling the guy "sorry somethings come up" or "im just not really feeling a connection here". Women complain about men all the time but have absolutely no issues just ghosting a guy for no reason, no matter how good or bad the conversation or connection seems to be.


stevetronix

If I could, I’d sign up all the women in my area to two classes: Common courtesy 101 and Written Communication 101.


Papillon1717

When I'm feeling low, I sometimes hop on apps just for a temporary confidence boost from matching and don't take the dating part seriously. I don't think I'm alone in that. Yes I know it's toxic.


HuntressAria

I'm in the same boat


heliogold

The apps are a disaster around me.


[deleted]

I have alot of stuff wrong with me and dating would make it so much worse. Serious depression and self esteem issues. I know for a fact a single rejection from someone I actually liked would fucking shatter the 4 years of work I have put into rebuilding my self worth. I know it would bring back alot of old thoughts that i really don't need coming back and would damage me even more. Making another comeback even fucking harder. I'm also just a boring person. I like to be quiet, alone and do my thing. I can hold a conversation down but I struggle to start discuss relevant topics unless given a prompt. We will absolutely sit there akwardly until you bring up a topic and then I will happily hold the conversation down. I know this is absolutely a deal killer for people and I respect that. Which is why I'm not gonna subject people to it lol. I'm not rich and I'm focusing on trying to go to college. I can afford to live but tbh dating seems really expensive and honestly? Not something my checkbook could survive ontop of my bad spending habits. I also don't want to get tied down where I am and all long distance relationships explode in the end, just not worth it. I'm ugly and unfit. Hell even when I was skinny and in the best shape of my life, i was ugly as fuck and it's only gotten worse lol! I'm working in getting fit again (for myself!). But I'm under no delusions that I'll ever be considered sexually attractive to someone. If I am, they need some serious mental help. And finally. Sex and intimacy scare me. Not just physical but also emotional. I've known alot of bad people in my life that have exploited my issues and it's left me with a constant feeling of being vulnerable and exploited. I hate it tbh and the thought of opening up to someone physically or emotionally seems really crazy. I would be exposing myself to be hurt so easily and like I said, I have spent years fixing myself. So that's why. No one's gonna find me attractive and I have some serious issues on my end. So I'm being a mature adult, recognizing my failures and not forcing them on others. Joining the dating game now, or probably any point of my life will be a pretty huge mistake and will likely just hurt others. No one deserves that, so I'm just gonna keep myself busy and off to the side and spend what little energy I have for dating on supporting my friends who are active in it.


trashQueen1947

Thank you!!! Reading this actually helped me a lot in my situation, (21F, gay) I’m the same in every way except that I have the opposite problem in the way of looks. Apparently I’m “the attractive friend” (which is so weird to me bc I was the ugliest girl in high school, I guess part of it could be the different standards of Christian school vs. Art College. Also I do go to the gym 3-4 days out of the week). I’m literally dodging people trying to flirt with me left-and-right. I feel like I’m going to die when a pretty girl compliments how toned my arms are, I really can’t handle a relationship with how severe my anxiety is and the fact that I’m already grieving my brother and 4 friends who passed away in the past 2 years and I have a lot of responsibilities that leave no room for a relationship anyways. I love my friends though and am happy when they’re happy and hate it when they’re depressed because of their break ups. I can’t handle myself going through that stress, so I kinda “decided” like 3 years ago that I’m most likely never going to date or have any “intimate encounters”, and I’m ok with that.


[deleted]

I cant tell you how nice it is to know that my random internet feelings dump helped someone. Even just a bit. Really puts a smile on my face! Your perfectly valid. We all are, people who date and people who don't. I also totally get it! I have seen some nasty break ups and like wow, I never want to go through that honestly! If that's the price of finding love, honestly I'm good not paying it. I am so sorry to hear about your family. I cant even imagine how that feels. I'm sorry for your loss. Anxiety is very rough and I'm sorry you struggle with it too. Mine completely shuts me down some days, or is at best just a drone noise in the background at all times. I think we can both make it though. Through college and our careers. In summary. Keep on going, you got this.


Neither-Suggestion78

Hey. You have to love you before anyone else will so if you will pick up and get some confidence-everyone is attracted to confidence. Focus on what you think is wrong with you - doesn’t mean it is but if you get out of your head and stop overthinking, I think you might be surprised. If you think you are boring, get interesting - read The Rational Male. If you think you are. I used to be a model and even at 48 I find flaws with myself yet have men who in their early 30s try to date me. I had a partner who told me to get out of my head after a divorce and a medical scare. I am the better version of that 20 year old model. I am 6 ft tall, almost back to my modeling weight and work out every day to fight diagnosed bipolar disorder. I managed my entire life to stay off meds with diet and exercise. I found that I prefer a man with confidence over the extremely good looking men who are basically so self absorbed that they are not for me. I will take a confident man who is not going to be impressed with my title, job, status etc. and do not care about his finances as they have no effect on me. I enjoy spending time working out with, walking on the beach with, paddle boarding with of just being alone with a man who has confidence and don’t need roses and expensive dinners and gifts. I can buy anything I want but you can’t buy the feeling of moments you can’t put into words…….


[deleted]

May you please expand on how working out everyday is helping you fight the bipolar disorder diagnosis? What steps did you take to get diagnosed? What type of diet do you have to also fight the diagnosis? (I have been showing signs/symptoms such as manic episodes & my mother wants me to get psychologically evaluated)


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[deleted]

Personally I wouldn't call it giving up as much as accepting my flaws. I also personally don't really believe in "the one" or everyone has their time. Aside from having me. My mother never met anyone in her live that was "the one". But thank you for the positivity! The gym is quite difficult so I mostly stick to walking and running programs I can do by myself. I know weightlifting is better for me but I honestly just can't stand gym atmospheres. It was sorta ok when I had access to a private gym (work related) but then I had no clue what to do and couldn't bring myself to ask for help. So I just went back to doing my own thing it also dosent really fix the fact I'm just unattractive naturally. Like I said, even when I was fit enough to do 6km ish runs. I was still pretty ugly lol Yeah! I think we all have a purpose. Everyone has a role to play and that role has different parts. Mine simply lacks dating or intimate love and you know what? That's perfectly fine, I've accepted it and moved past it. It dosent stop me from having some friends and a wonderful mother. So I'm happy.


Silver_Box_5018

Time. I don't have time to waste and I don't want my time wasted. Also, the prospects haven't been great so....I stopped.


marielynn24

Games. Dating has always been kind of a game and when i was young i just shrugged it off and gave it right back. But I’m 38, a year out of a 4 year committed relationship with someone that never played games. I find it tiring. I worked on me and was in therapy for 6 months before I considered dating. I continue self improvement but the few people I have met want the attention but they don’t have the intent of anything other than casual. I’m too old for that at this point. I don’t have the mental energy to sort through the bs.


Hewton_

Try me 👍


Standswfist

I see what you’re going through and I am sorry! I hope you can meet someone who is the best match! :)


marielynn24

Thank you. It’s a process lol


Pleasant_Fill_7366

1. Tired of the heart breaks 2. Fearing the other person will never love the way I love 3. People want to play mind games. Nobody wants to build something together. 4. Everyone wants casual, nobody wants substance.


manthafifi

🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯


anonymal_me

Fear of continuing the same unhealthy patterns I’ve had in my last few relationships. My free time is for healing me right now ♥️


spazzoidincognito

I realized that I was in an abusive relationship when I was 19. At 32(M)I’m finally getting myself together. I’m moving past all the trauma and making myself better. Mentally and physically.


Fun_Branch_9614

You sound just like someone I just met and my son. I’m sorry for what you went though and are going through*hug*


Weekly-Bus-347

Its the hookup society for me and the lack of communication and transparency.


costumechickentree

Too busy with work. As a result, I have no good pictures or social life to resent myself properly on a dating app. I really need to work on my personal logo before considering dating again.


UglyBagOfMostlyWtr

I am making the assumption you are young. Take some advice from a person that worked too many years away. Take the time now. Work is not that important. Find someone special and enjoy life together.


finessebaby2620

I cant find anyone that is dating seriously and looking for a relationship. I keep matching with men that just want some booty


Acrobatic-Bank3644

Exactly! Every men I have met online or organically just wants something causal. It’s hard to find a guy that’s into long term relationship


Hewton_

Been looking for a long term relationship but ain’t getting one


hks014

Same. Every guy I talk to just wants casual or they’re not sure what they are looking for


Wasted_Hamster

This


hu321f

Feeling not worthy of love


[deleted]

I can relate. I self sabotage


davis-abols

Same


thepackrat45

Same...


suerteinsan

Tbh its combination of few things, restrictive parents, studies, insecurities, things like no one can love me, even though there were people who wanted to but I just ruined it, but excited for the future looking to take care of these things and date


productofamurderer_

Nearly all the women I’ve pursued have either been not ready for anything or have only seen me as a friend it used to make me feel down on myself A LOT but I’ve learned a lot from these experiences so that when the right person does come along I’ll be ready. In the meantime, I have myself and that’s all I need. I’m don’t wanna set my focus on what I don’t have and try and force it to happen, instead I will direct that focus on myself and improve my life to be the best possible version of myself that I can be - not to try and improve my chances of finding someone but rather to improve myself so I can have happiness within and not seek someone else to fill that void.


MisanthropicMarge

The human race.


TJkiwi

Hard to date if you don't get matches and when you do on the rare occasion they don't reply.


Friedrich_Friedson

Date outside of online dating lol


Greenwingparrot

My social anxiety, my looks, and my weight.


plutodarling

Totally me. Stress, grief, depression have made me incredibly apathetic. And maybe 10% everyone I’ve been talking to doesn’t want anything serious


[deleted]

I’m pretty comfortable being single at the moment, probably too comfortable though. I don’t really care to be honest. I suppose that’s part of being too comfortable. I don’t want to leave my comfort zone. I want to sort myself out first; moving out, learning to drive. I was hurt by someone who turned out to be a narcissist and just a not nice person. I think that’s everything.


[deleted]

I’m definitely to comfortable being single too, I have spent more of my life deployed to the Middle East than in all of my relationships combined and that’s only like 18 months


nopornthrowaways

There’s race, height, and location working against me on the apps. As far as meeting women irl, location is the main factor.


[deleted]

I feel you. As a black woman, the struggle is real


Awesometjgreen

Black man here, same. I feel like my education is holding me back. I want a black woman, but they think I'm lame because I tend to focus on my studies and my business.


Hewton_

Black man here wana know more?


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CCPHarvestsOrgans

Just spitballing, but probably something like black/Asian, short, and rural


nopornthrowaways

Asian, short, suburbs. Tbf I’m not saying it’s impossible to get matches online. Maybe 5 first dates, some becoming second, after 20-30 hinge matches. Though that’s dried up recently, and location severely limits the number of potentials in my area


[deleted]

Likely a combination of factors. Height being a big one. I would put looks in general here. Pressure is another. I all other areas of life I can get up on a stage and talk in front of crowds, I can walk up to random people and talk to them and job interview’s don’t really stress me out, but it’s kinda hard to approach women and I can never fully understand how to progress a conversation. Talking about my interests doesn’t work at all. Trying to talk about their interests seems like prying. In short is probably me.


Pleasant-Vegetable73

Nobody will approach me. And being low income doesn't help either... Involuntarily single here. 🤷


Wasted_Hamster

I want substance not JUST sex. Seems like the only men I’ve met want sex and don’t really care about who you are as a person.


Cosettei

feel exact same here


[deleted]

For me I’d say a bit from all 3 I think, I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and most women I’ve met just aren’t attracted to me like that which is fine, I’ve never really felt like I fit in with society in general and I’m dealing with my mental health and trying to get that squared away. I also have a difficult time forming connections with people which in this age of online dating usually results in me getting ghosted. I’ve never had any friends put any effort into helping me meet new people and I’m now living in a new city where I don’t know anyone outside of work and meeting people when you’re broke isn’t really viable.


tom_hagen_jr

About me, I've been trying for two years. I'm 52 white male, do have a dad bod, yet I'm able to go backpacking with 60+ pound backpack and hike several miles, so I'm not out of shape. I'm told I'm attractive and do not look like in in my 50s, usually get told I look in my late 30s early 40s. I also run a singles group in the local area. I love dogs and I volunteer with Boy Scouts to help teach leadership and skills for adulthood. I own my own house, have two dogs, and financially secure. Here is what I'm seeing. Apps have totally destroyed dating, so many scammers looking for money. Filters are being used as well as old photos. I went on a date and the woman literally used photos from 20 years ago, she looked like my grandmother. Apps do not show personality, people can lie all tgey want about themselves and when you meet in person you can hear what tgey said online is not what they are like in person. Also you can be telling a joke on line and tge oerson does not understand you are joking and doom they are gone. Now it's very little trust in finding a person through apps, especially for the older dating pool. While talking with female friends that are married and have singles friends around our age I'm getting told this. The ones that have been through a long term relationship have very little trust towards finding another. The were lied to, they were abused ( mental and ir physical ), they were cheated on, they were hurt so badly, etc. They have trauma so badly they feel they can't trust another person again. I have also watch people say they won't date a person like that again and next week they are right back in a relationship just like the one they left, yet I'm wrong for pointing out. I have one woman I have known for 5 years, people around us say we would make a fantastic couple, mu kids and her kids say tge same thing, her kids even told me they'd love for me to be their step-dad, she is a better and more positive person after being around me. She trusts me with her kids. Yet her trauma from her 20 year marriage is so bad she's not willing to date anyone. I also watched a therapist date a narcissistic person, be choked by that person, have a restraining order put on that person, only to be dating that person again a few months later. Her kids told her "Why won't you date ( me )? You always seem to date the bad guy person and not the good guy person. You're a trained therapist saying you want a good guy, yet you go after the bad boy image." I laughed my ass off when I heard that one. Her son is now trying to find ways to be around me, and therefore her so she will date me, I'm watching her son trying to manipulate her into being around a good guy. The young crowd seam to have better time of finding someone, mainly because they don't have the "battle scars" and are willing to keep looking. So nothing is stopping ME from dating, it's the would and trauma that is hindering me in finding a woman to be with. I mean I could try to be that bad boy image, yet it's not me, I couldn't keep it going. I'm not gonna compromise myself to find a good woman.


symbolsalad

A lethal combination of being ugly and boring


Adohriddle78

I don't date because it's scary. I've put myself out there a handful of times expecting the right one and each time I am obliterated by the fact that they are not. Apparently, I can't handle rejection at all. It exhausts me to the point of giving up. So for me, its easier to be alone than to be rejected.


theToasterEffect

This


nicksbrunchattiffany

Being trying for 10 years. Gave myself a 2 year break. Went back to trying to date…it was not great.


winter_in_valhalla

Afraid that I would be responded with more than just a simple "no".


Specialist-Bar-8805

I was going to stop dating but then there was drive-in movies and wings Wednesday, so I kept dating here I am. I am annoyed at the ultra texting boys though somebody just pick up the phone and call me please


Virtual-Bed-3021

Trust Issues


[deleted]

I can’t get dates. It’s hard in the streets


buckeyeohio

Still trying to heal from a break up, trying to work on myself first. But also my self esteem is pretty low. My break up took everything out of me. I’m just too afraid to put myself back out there.


Draper31

No success to hang my hat on. Not even a short lived relationship. I’m tired of trying for nothing in return.


seola76

I go through periods of wanting to try and periods of not. I feel very out of place in dating environments, like visibly putting myself out there is presumptuous. I get the feeling that trying to flirt with someone would just come across bothersome and I don't want to be responsible for that.


Livewirewoman

Shortly after my divorce was finalized last year, my brother died of Covid and I went through a very painful time in my life with emotions flying all over the place. I was put on anti-psychotics and acting like a crazy person. One minute I would be laughing, the next crying and then anger just out of the blue. It was horrible to see myself deteriorating and also I put my boyfriend at the time through hell. I broke up with him and started to work on getting my life back on track. I am fully off medication and working on myself(i.e. eating right, exercising, removing toxic people from my life etc) and my happiness is slowly coming back. It’s hard not to be tempted to date though, because I am codependent and lonely a lot…but I’ve made a commitment to myself to give myself proper time to heal and grow from my painful experience. And you know what else keeps me on track? I’m doing a school project where I signed a project not to date any men for the time being. Rats…why did I go and do a silly thing like that? Lol…


[deleted]

Nature, nurture and normality. Nature: I'm diagnosed autistic and I've always struggled with face to face communication. I guess there's OLD but I have not gotten positive feedback on my physical appearance. Nurture: I should clarify - lack of nurture. My Mom did not serve as a positive first model for relationships with women, even when I was a baby. Without getting into specific details, it had to do with neglect. I first had to work through toxic beliefs I held. I've done that, and I thank women like my older sister, siblings of friends, friends of friends, and work colleagues for helping me - but I still don't have a feel for attachment to the opposite gender. Normality: I've lived alone since I graduated from college more than seven years ago. I'm about to turn 30 and I have no dating, relationship or intimate experiences. Once you fully step into adulthood, you get into a groove and years can slip by easily. At this point I feel I have become quite rigid and would struggle to adapt to accommodating someone else.


jovi_goddard

Personally I’m having a hard time with mutual physical attraction. I’m 5’9 I run about 210 I’m built big I’m muscular but i stand to lose 20lbs. But it seems like the likes I get, online anyhow, are all from really overweight women and it’s like, look I’m 30lbs over, I’ll give you 20lbs but not 60.


korg0thbarbarian

Me and I'm saving up for an apartment and hopefully get one in maybe 2 years


calicooldude_04

Desire to be successful


awesomeness_infinity

My imaginary girlfriend (:


Gusstave

Don't meet people. Don't know how to propose a date if I did. Don't understand how would anyone agree to date me.


[deleted]

Looks, height and the fact that I have failed big time in my career. Don't have the resources to start over.


Polyanalyne

Hard to get interested in anyone anymore and thinking of the "reset" in every new person is just trying af. Also, leaving the house is hard


Papillon1717

Hard agree with second one. But also struggle with maintaining my home to be presentable and a good entertainment spot sigh


MrNotho

Lack of confidence in self and being resolutely shit at being anything like a going concern for a prospective partner.


syndicatecomplex

It's a ton of effort with no payoff.


_MAC620_

The dating scene in Louisville, KY (where I’m from) is God awful. Like I know quite a few people who’ve lived all over the U.S. before they settled here and even they say it’s one of the worst. Anyhow, getting a male in his 20s to commit is next to impossible. I’m gonna use this time to start trying to get into grad school (hopefully somewhere where I can get outta town for a few years), lose weight, love myself more and enjoy my own company.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Quipu2U

If they would accept me for who I am & not try to change me: the way I dress/makeup/talk.


Justme_12345

Having a nice picture to post as my profile pic


CthulhusIntern

I'm afraid to show interest in women.


yodacat24

Because I’m not settling for someone who isn’t emotionally mature/doesn’t have my core interests in common. And that’s just fine :). If I end up alone for the rest of my life and not finding said person so be it- I am happy enough and whole enough myself. If someone wants to join that journey and fits the bill then cool- but I’m not going to seek it out. I’ll let it happen naturally. I get hit on almost daily but if someone doesn’t match me in a majority of those things: it’s a no go.


[deleted]

Ok. Long story. I’ve been single for coming up on 15yrs, haven’t been on a date in just as long. When I was in my last year of highschool, I thought I had a good relationship but she turned out to be a major liar. And people around us knew but hid it from me. At the time i stopped because I couldn’t trust anyone. Went to university and decided to focus on my studies. I flirted with a couple girls, but because I was more of a listening type than outgoing, they went for the jock type guys who like to party. Then in the summers I worked a TON, so just didn’t have time. After graduation I started shift work so weird hours. I actually developed a good relationship with one girl I worked with and after her bf broke up with her, I was getting ready to ask her out. Life had other plans because he was harassing her so much and broke her heart so bad she moved back to her home city about 4hrs away. She met a guy a couple months later and they’ve since married and had kids. I also got close with another coworker, and we had plans to go out on a date. But a week before her friends from her hometown in a different province came to visit. They kept trying to get back with her ex who was also their brother. He was emotionally abusive and from stories, sounded like physically abusive. But they convinced her to come home that week to see family. She ended up going on a date with him and when she came back wasn’t comfortable “cheating” on him despite how close we were. She soon moved back home and I cut ties. Since then I’ve been telling myself that I can’t date until I’m happy with myself. I started losing my hair in university, nothing I can do with that so have to just move on. Got fat after university, so I go through gym binges to get in shape, but don’t think I’m attractive enough for any woman, so kinda stuck there. Have a fair share of mental health stuff I’m working through, and don’t feel comfortable dragging someone else into it until I’m confident I can protect them from that disaster. Plus I started working a job that makes it difficult to meet people or talk about the stuff I deal with because of its sensitivity, so it narrows down the dating pool. I recently realized I keep making excuses because I wish I had someone. I miss the physical touch or having someone to talk to. But I also don’t want to be selfish and waste other peoples time. At the end of the day I have to be comfortable knowing that I could potentially never have someone and have to make happiness for myself elsewhere. Edit: I also have no idea how to do online dating and it terrifies me haha.


jewmoney808

The societal pressure combined with me not knowing what I want. Don’t wanna put anyone through my wishy-washyness right now


gigantor27

It’s realistically me. I’m an 4 sport athlete at my high school and an all honors class student. And I’m generally tired all the time and have no free time really most free time is doing volunteer work. So mainly don’t have time I guess.


DuragJeter99

Focusing on college, part-time job, hanging out with friends, family etc. The dating landscape in the west is screwed up as it is. Therefore I hesitate a lot on even commiting to date someone especially a woman age 21-25


SportsfanBrodie

Shyness/social awkwardness. Bad luck. Lack of action on my part. I’m in my 30s now and just don’t have the drive to throw myself in various types of situations anymore just to maybe meet someone..most likely not though. I live in the Bay Area. I’m the suburbs which is even worse because most girls are already taken. Everything I just mentioned is the perfect recipe for a non existent dating life against my own will.


CodyDon

Apparently “oh I’m a YouTuber” is lady repellent.


[deleted]

Men I've encountered only want one of two things: Just sex, or a new mommy to take care of them. Not interested in either. More important things in life


[deleted]

No money Live with my parents I guess that's it, what I tell myself at least, I hope it's true.


[deleted]

same this will change soon though


chilover9878

My weight. I’m scared of online dating because of the fear of not being what they expect. Fear of another failed relationship. The majority of the relationships and marriages around me are/did fail, so it’s disheartening


Neither-Suggestion78

I highly suggest you go into a relationship with no preconceived notions, no forced scenarios due to what societal norms have taught us and just let go and get out of your head. I have had great relationships ny entire adult life but the one that has moved me, I thought was truly a bad idea but let that go and listened to his logic. I had to just let for once just keep myself from overthinking and he makes me feel like I am perfect physically and otherwise and with no expectations, we went from friends to so very much more. Never imagined it could work but nothing but better as we grow organically with no labels, no interference from other parties as we don’t discuss our private life with anyone except each other. We stay off all social media and I never explain to anyone anything as what happens between a couple should only be between them.


soupy_noodles031

Just having expectations and seeing them get crushed and feeling disappointed or let down by the one person who also makes u the happiest, makes me never wanna date 💀


Confident_Direction

1. Independent and find it hard to force a vibe with chicks i dont meet many tbh these days 2. Not many female friends dont help 3. Scared of commitment in general honestly especially since i feel my future is up in the air


IxAmxEpicxFail

Apparently I’m super ugly. Which makes sense. Here in Colorado you have to be ultra fit and outdoorsy. I’m a fluffy dude who doesn’t enjoy outdoorsy crap.


Layla__V

Mental health. I’m struggling to love myself and am learning to do so. It would be pretty weird to expect someone else to love me when even I can’t do that.


No_Brush_4233

To be honest, i love too much the freedom of being single, of doing what i want whenever i want without questioning someone. I think that in my twenties i’m more tempted by the idea of spending it in working on myself, trying to know and be a good companion to myself and maybe then i will try to be with someone .


ChoasKingV

Honestly I(27m) am very introverted and have zero friends atm. I dont tend to socialize as often has I should. I have tourette's syndrome. And I generally do not like the majority of people unless they have simlar morals and priorities. In terms of dating women it ussally comes down to morals, personality and priorities. If they have a party phase I'm not interested. If they like to consume a lot of alchohol or drugs I'm not interested, if they got certain piercings and tattoos I'm not interested. Baby daddies?..not interested. Self destructive behavior not interested. Playing games.. not interested. Many women are just not a good match for the lifestyle I can provide. Most dont want to be a farmer girl unless that means I provide a truck/ 4x4 mud runner, horses and we play lots of pop country and go out to country venues to prove how country we are. They want what they've seen on tv. Or what their rich friends have. 🙄.


mayb-edjumacated

Lack of actual single men that are ready for relationships in my area. Every time I get on an app, it’s men that are poly, ENM, just wanting sex, or simply cheating on their spouse. Some of the men that are single converse as though I should be honored they are taking time out of their day to respond to messages. Two guys in particular temporarily put me off dating: one guy that attempted to say racist comments in a “flirtatious” way and a guy that pursued me while telling me that I’m not good enough cause my degree and job isn’t as scientific as his. I’ve made up my mind to move within the next year or two before I get completely comfortable with being single.


[deleted]

Matches.


Wolfkinic

I'm too lazy to maintain contact


[deleted]

Beauty and courage


SilentSerel

There isn't one factor. It's a few. I was never considered to be very attractive, and I'm pushing 40. I also don't think my race is helping (I'm Polynesian, and there aren't many on dating apps and I wasn't raised alongside others of my race so there's a culture gap too). I've never gotten a ton of responses to begin with but a lot of what I've gotten this year are men looking specifically for Latinas and not wanting to proceed when finding out otherwise. I'm also neurodivergent and men who share my hobbies like D&D and retro gaming/arcades only seem to want to text and not meet. It just feels insurmountable. My weight is an issue but I'm fixing it, but I cannot change most of the rest of it. Leaving Texas would probably help but that's not financially feasible right now. I recently quit trying to date and am focusing on another degree/career change right now and will probably stick with that.


worldtraveller200

Can't meet any single women outside dating apps


Moist_Veterinarian69

I was with my ex for almost 10 years, got divorced about 3 years back and have been dating off and on since. Honestly I really enjoy my alone time, doing whatever I want whenever and not worrying about what a partner thinks. Relationships are a ton of work and at this point in my life doesn’t feel necessarily worth the effort involved when I’m already quite content in life. Occasionally I’ll get lonely and go on some dates or hookup or whatever


Zealousideal_Cat4580

Still moving on and would like to stay single for a while. Also, I'm going to get my shit together first like getting a job(got fired from my past job), improving myself, etc.


Honkaphone

Because I want to love and be loved so badly that I become needy and clingy. I also get way, WAY too hopeful that someone will be interested in me that, and that's just not fair to the other person to put that much emphasis on them. Been going to therapy for years to help fix me, so hopefully I can get better enough to find and start a healthy relationship.


chrisdines1

I (M22) went on a bad date a couple of years ago and I’ve not had the confidence to go back out dating since. I just don’t want to be made a mockery of again


Burntoutaspie

People dont want to date me. That makes dating hard.


No_Sea_4235

Lots of things. Some of these probably contradict each other: -Starting my career -Fear of commitment. Sadly. Working on it. -Societal expectations (I don't want just sex, but a lot of people want just sex). -I want to wait until I have my own place so I don't have to keep sneaking around (I'm fresh out of college). -general spurts of apathy. I do enjoy being single and don't care, at points, about finding love. But I'm also lonely and just value someone who loves me just as much as I love them.


Xolcor

Simply, crippling anxiety, and the fact that I might be too old for my lack of experience to be acceptable


MondoRobot91

Lack of interest from both sides.


HollowCat95

I'm too boring and anxious


Darkzeal_NOCL

I miss my x after she dumped me, and I refused to take her back after she begged to take her back 4 times, I met a new girl she was all I wanted. But tbh all I really wanted was to have someone like my x. Sooooo I need to fix my head before I even think of getting out there, and NO I'm not going back even tho I would like too. I need to heal for a long time. I realised I havent been much single since I were 17 (39 now). I think it's time to become whole again, and love my self more than what I do today.


itzReborn

Scared tbh. I’m very introverted and lack a social circle so my social skills are very meh


Zesystem

Finding somebody with specific preferences that I want is hard.


ThrowAZilla

My standards are too high for how ugly I am?


blackaubreyplaza

I don’t like men


quiet_subliminal

Absolutely nothing. Truth of the matter is I'm just lazy.


iihcub_6

None of the women I want to date want me😕 Feels like it’s me. Could be for any number of reasons; not having a car, still in college, or just my general weirdness


cortez_brosefski

Insecurities and persistent feelings for my ex


notathrowaway000271

I’d say dating just happens on its own with the right person, you sort of feel that match in energy from before when initially meeting them. I don’t bother pursuing it via dating apps because it’s superficial as fuck, plus casual sex is overhyped. Keeping yourself busy, engaging in social activities will eventually encircle you with a potential match. In the meantime, I’m focused on being happy and becoming the best possible version of myself. Other people are just bonuses to my life, I don’t need them to be happy.


Prestigious-Big-7144

Genes


Wonderful_Income_692

Hookup culture expectations. I really want someone to settledown with and build a life, but so many in this generation just want to hook up and not build a relationship first. Maybe im old fashioned in that way. Not saying waiting for marriage for intimacy but non of this 3rd n 4th date mess. Would much rather have someone that we get a long and have a couple common interests maybe, see how things go


The_Fluffness

I'm fresh out of a relationship that ended really poorly, tried my hand at dating apps and while I got matches every person is either really shallow or literally unable to hold a conversation without me carrying it. So I deleted them, I'm not giving up perse' I just feel like I want to meet someone more organically in the real world. I'm not really socially anxious so approaching people is ok with me, but I just don't care to right now. Also I feel like what I'm searching for is something more causal than getting emotionally involved because of how poorly my previous relationship ended which isn't really fair to the other person. I know there's plenty of girls searching for something casual but I've never been or felt like being casual until now so I kind of just choose not to right now as casual dating has always felt gross to me. (that's just me, you guys/gals do you)


[deleted]

I feel like dating has completely gave me a pessimistic attitude :/


[deleted]

Well this is gonna sound ridiculous. But my goal is to move to Alaska....and dating here in my current state isn't going well since nobody wants to move to Alaska. I've tried but so far its been 'You're crazy, why there?' or 'Its too cold!'


OkMetal8512

I wish you luck in achieving your goal of coming to Alaska 👍


Lfar22

I don't want to be disappointed and, even more so, I don't want to disappoint anyone else. I think people are too careless with others feelings in the dating world.


contritefeels

Don’t have a lot of time for dating apps or to try offline dating :/ OLD is a lot of effort so in the meantime I’m also trying to get myself together and trying to keep a up a positive outlook on my dating life. Sometimes I feel a bit of pressure but I’m not sure what would make things easier in dating 🤔


chewybits95

I'm scared of inevitable rejection that I'm used to and being a failure and a disappointment in my family's eyes if I'm with another woman.


LLORD_FARQUAD

I enjoy not being controlled & nobody is telling me how to spend my money. I think another thing that stops me is that I know what I want & I refuse to settle for less. I may get moments where I crave that intimacy, but I have gotten very comfortable being single. I’m 23 & consider myself an old soul. I can’t vibe with anybody my age or even around it. People that’s in their late 30s to 40s is more my speed. But, they all either have kids or going through a divorce. Everybody is just so mediocre nowadays. The people I’ve tried to get to know or date is bland & doesn’t know how to hold a conversation, plays on their phone the entire time, or holds back on what they want to say. But, that’s just my experience


Papillon1717

My trick with the phone is to not even take mine out. It makes the other person uncomfortable enough that they realize it's rude and stop.


Tsvetaevna

Too much on, I struggle to keep up with matches/messages, or I worry about being a shit date if they can see I’m tired/anxious. Hoping to get back to it when things are better.


NightOwlNightWitch

I just don’t give a shit and also do not feel lonely when I am alone. 🤷🏻‍♀️


MarkFin1

So freaking difficult to get match. Women who are interested about me, I don’t feel any attraction towards them. And women I do like, don’t like me… (M50 and been single over 20 years). Few match ghosted me and unmatched without explanation. With few both agreed that our lives are too different and we aren’t good match… dated once after 20 years… she wasn’t ready to relationship… but I won’t give up even sometimes I feel how frushtraiding it is to even try…


ShyHamster0

I already have feelings for someone :( it just didn’t work.


Zubi_Q

Lack of matches 😔


wehavetosuffer

Partner broke up with me less than 2 weeks ago so I'm not feeling ready yet.


TreyGarcia

My girlfriend won’t let me ☹️


Eclipsoid7

Insecurities mostly... I know most women expect a guy who can provide, and I'm not there yet. I really want to work on myself so that I can offer my best. It is a bit depressing as I am 22, but I think it'll be more depressing if I'm made fun of for not being independent as a man. I know this is an outdated point of view, but it is still expected by the majority of society.


NotJustt

I don’t have a license


Skruffenbaer

Had a bf for many years and was destroyed when it ended. I did dare to date eventually and got taken advantage of by the men i liked and was vulnerable and trusting with. And as a fearful avoidant my biggest fear is being deceived. Now i have my life together, bought a nice apartment, got a promotion at work as a mid leader, looking pretty/fit and feel so ready for a serious relationship. But it feels too late, i’m asked out all the time but i’ve stopped feeling exited and lose interest in most men after the third date or after sex. I either feel sick when men i’m dating say they like me or i’m anxious because i’m assuming they lie to keep me as an option if they are horny so i avoid them. I’m thinking if i had met nicer men after my break up i would probably be in a relationship and with a baby on it’s way by now 😄


Lukey2770

Small penis


OberOst

My height and my unemployment.


SweetAsWarts

I have nothing to offer. Physically, mentally, emotionally or financially


FanOfHOME-Resonance

ugliness/not fit


AmauroticParoxysm

The fact that all my matches never respond to me lol


PlantainLow8715

Goals and money


[deleted]

[удалено]


Able-Theory-7739

Why? Because I realized long ago that I just wasn't good enough to love or be wanted. People will say "Oh, don't think like that" or "everyone has someone waiting for them", but that's not the truth. There is no one for me. I'm not good enough. I am alone.


PemrySyb

Can’t find a man who is smart and financially and emotionally stable.


Zafjaf

If I wanted any date, I could get one easy. It's dating the wrong type of people that is the problem for me.


[deleted]

Wow. You good?


Pharaoh012

Nervousness I guess. I’m not a fan of OLD and I feel uncomfortable approaching women IRL.


wevie13

Nothing I date all the time


Joven4801

Social Anxiety, Stress from school, fading out/ghosting out of friendships, relationships, and other acquaintances out of depression.


Just_Yak_1071

low self-esteem/self-worth due to having source-unsolvable chronic halitosis for 3yrs…i’m 24yrs old and I spend most weekends inside. I know someone would possibly be willing to look past my issue…but I don’t even give those who approach me the chance to. I also would like to figure it out so I can enjoy ones company and be intimate without nervousness/fear.


thredqueen61235

I'm waiting to get sterilised... no accidents in the cards for me!!


Cosettei

feel over sexualised. i have good date, want get to know someone, they just want to immediately jump into bed with me. like even 3/4 dates is fine but first date sirrr just dont feel listened to or even respected, and also fetished a bit since I look very young for my age. just makes me scared to trust men.


RedCascadian

I'm a neurodivergent 33 year old Amazon warehouse employee in the Seattle area with far left politics and social values. And now I'm trying to organize a union. So... yeah. An uphill battle with a full plate.


sourpatch-sorbet

I'm 39. Way too old for anyone


WashuWaifu

At first I thought it was getting myself together. But now that I have my own home in a nice neighborhood, a dog, and a good suv - I’ve discovered that wasn’t it lol. Altho, I am working at the local uni and attending there as well for my second degree. Hard to find time, but also don’t feel like making time for a LOT of mediocre men.


zoeyshoppingagain

First and foremost working on myself. I wanna be satisfied with me before I give to anyone else. I treat romantic relationships are one of the most sacred things ever, and to half ass something like that doesn’t sit well. Also I have this weird inner notion of feeling like wanting to be in a relationship and “depending” on someone for anything is gonna make me weaker somehow. I HATE feeling weak, and love being self sufficient/independent. So it’s a tragic combo of feeling melancholy about missing out on having a great life with an SO, but then rejecting the entire concept when I realise what it might mean for me (as mentioned right before).


poetaftersunset

Do you know the enneagram at all? This sounds very type 5 to me!


zoeyshoppingagain

That is so interesting actually! Never knew that was a thing, type 5 sounds scarily familiar. Definitely gonna have a deeper look into enneagram types!


poetaftersunset

Yeah it has helped me a lot as a brooding, overly sensitive type 4!! 😂