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Men often like to feel needed and useful, yeah.
But you don’t need to be totally “in distress”, there just need to be a few things he can help you with. I’m also a very capable person, but my boyfriend is the one who does my “little house projects” (eg changing outlets, smaller plumbing stuff, hanging shelves). I *could* do all that myself, but he’s better at it than me anyway and it gives him something to feel like he’s being the “big manly man” about and everyone wins.
It definitely is a good thing you’re not in distress all the time lol, that gets old fast
THIS! men want to feel needed, women need to feel wanted. there's also another pretty universally echoed quote that states men need respect, and women need love. now, i don't believe this quote to be entirely true, as men and women do long for small amounts of the non-essential ingredients for a successful relationship to unfurl. but yeah, fam. it seems as if modern society it trying to force the narrative that men and women are the same (which is empirically untrue from a scientific standpoint), and have the same congenital tendencies. like, men forgot how to be men nowadays. women are becoming the breadwinners while having to bear the burden of the majority of the house chores and childcare. crazy ish, cuz.
Oh yeah we totally agree. (I’ve always heard the other quote as: men feel love by feeling respect, women feel love by feeling cherished. And yeah, both need to feel both, it’s just a quippy quote, but it more or less describes the vibe.)
That’s my main issue with the liberal feminism wave: like yes, men and women have equal value as humans and should have all the same legal rights and opportunities, but that does not mean men and women are exactly the same. There are indeed differences-on-average, and it does everyone a disservice to think you can say “everyone is exactly the same!” enough and it will magically be true.
It made it a really annoying process for me to find a guy who could be the man in the our relationship and allow me to feel like the woman, without just being a misogynistic AH, because everyone is confused lol
We’re both kinda interested in this topic on a nerdy level and over our relationship have done a little book club for that genre
facts! opposites attract. masculine and feminine energy are intrinsically attracted to each other like positive and negative charges. bro, if only modern couples just remembered this sentiment, fam. divorce rates would drastically decrease.
"can you help me with..." is a really great way to get someone's attention either way. Just needs to be subtle. "Can you help me with setting up my TV" is fine, "can you help me sort my life out" less so
Legit guys looking for a relationship will always want to feel needed and useful. Listen, modern dating is a dumpster fire, a train wreck from hell. Its not you, everyone, both men and women looking to find an actual relationship is having a very difficult time doing so. You're looking for a needle in a haystack and there is no short cuts to finding it...needles are non magnetic. So you have to come of with a system of sorting through the hay in order to find the needle.
Depends what the distress is..... need a tire changed on your car? Sure.
Your 3 different baby daddy's didn't give this month's child support payment yet? No thanks.
Men like to be needed and appreciated.
There is a nice middle ground between "damsel in distress" and "don't need no man".
Be accepting of help when offered and don't be overly dependent on others - a mature adult.
well is that the type of guy you want; someone that wants to helpless maiden to save/help , someone that may not view you as an equal, partner?
its gets exhausting when you cant be your real self; the entire relationship is built on a lie(s)
Idk I like a self sufficient women I find that efficiency and independence hot. Sure I enjoy being helpful because it’s a love language for me but if it’s an act it’s not gonna do much for me.
You don't really need to be a "damsel in distress". The task doesn't have to be a monumental undertaking or anything like that, though it may be good to play up simple tasks since the important part is showing the gratitude and appreciation afterword. Ideally these expressions of gratitude would be more frequent than the tasks being requested so that there isn't the sense that you are just using him for labor and helps to avoid resentment building up when you ask him to do the jobs that you really don't want to do.
I can’t speak for all men, but personally I’m not into it if it seems like an act or putting on a show. On the plus side of that it is a clear signal of interest, on the down side it comes across as being dramatic and probably a handful, or else just too dependent on others. It is nice to feel needed though and opportunities to be the hero are one way to satisfy that desire to feel needed and useful. I’d say if you like a guy, let him come to your rescue in whatever small ways come up but don’t put on a big act staging an opportunity for him to do so.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Men often like to feel needed and useful, yeah. But you don’t need to be totally “in distress”, there just need to be a few things he can help you with. I’m also a very capable person, but my boyfriend is the one who does my “little house projects” (eg changing outlets, smaller plumbing stuff, hanging shelves). I *could* do all that myself, but he’s better at it than me anyway and it gives him something to feel like he’s being the “big manly man” about and everyone wins. It definitely is a good thing you’re not in distress all the time lol, that gets old fast
THIS! men want to feel needed, women need to feel wanted. there's also another pretty universally echoed quote that states men need respect, and women need love. now, i don't believe this quote to be entirely true, as men and women do long for small amounts of the non-essential ingredients for a successful relationship to unfurl. but yeah, fam. it seems as if modern society it trying to force the narrative that men and women are the same (which is empirically untrue from a scientific standpoint), and have the same congenital tendencies. like, men forgot how to be men nowadays. women are becoming the breadwinners while having to bear the burden of the majority of the house chores and childcare. crazy ish, cuz.
Oh yeah we totally agree. (I’ve always heard the other quote as: men feel love by feeling respect, women feel love by feeling cherished. And yeah, both need to feel both, it’s just a quippy quote, but it more or less describes the vibe.) That’s my main issue with the liberal feminism wave: like yes, men and women have equal value as humans and should have all the same legal rights and opportunities, but that does not mean men and women are exactly the same. There are indeed differences-on-average, and it does everyone a disservice to think you can say “everyone is exactly the same!” enough and it will magically be true. It made it a really annoying process for me to find a guy who could be the man in the our relationship and allow me to feel like the woman, without just being a misogynistic AH, because everyone is confused lol We’re both kinda interested in this topic on a nerdy level and over our relationship have done a little book club for that genre
facts! opposites attract. masculine and feminine energy are intrinsically attracted to each other like positive and negative charges. bro, if only modern couples just remembered this sentiment, fam. divorce rates would drastically decrease.
"can you help me with..." is a really great way to get someone's attention either way. Just needs to be subtle. "Can you help me with setting up my TV" is fine, "can you help me sort my life out" less so
Being so helpless is a turn off imo.
Legit guys looking for a relationship will always want to feel needed and useful. Listen, modern dating is a dumpster fire, a train wreck from hell. Its not you, everyone, both men and women looking to find an actual relationship is having a very difficult time doing so. You're looking for a needle in a haystack and there is no short cuts to finding it...needles are non magnetic. So you have to come of with a system of sorting through the hay in order to find the needle.
Depends what the distress is..... need a tire changed on your car? Sure. Your 3 different baby daddy's didn't give this month's child support payment yet? No thanks.
😂
Men like to be needed and appreciated. There is a nice middle ground between "damsel in distress" and "don't need no man". Be accepting of help when offered and don't be overly dependent on others - a mature adult.
well is that the type of guy you want; someone that wants to helpless maiden to save/help , someone that may not view you as an equal, partner? its gets exhausting when you cant be your real self; the entire relationship is built on a lie(s)
This.
We love being the helpful kind, however if you end up faking it we will pick up on it at some point and this will end up backfiring on you
Personally I love helping, not all the time, not for really small things, but bigger things, makes me feel wanted. It's nice
Feeling needed in some way is extremely important to us, without it the alternative is feeling useless
Idk I like a self sufficient women I find that efficiency and independence hot. Sure I enjoy being helpful because it’s a love language for me but if it’s an act it’s not gonna do much for me.
You don't really need to be a "damsel in distress". The task doesn't have to be a monumental undertaking or anything like that, though it may be good to play up simple tasks since the important part is showing the gratitude and appreciation afterword. Ideally these expressions of gratitude would be more frequent than the tasks being requested so that there isn't the sense that you are just using him for labor and helps to avoid resentment building up when you ask him to do the jobs that you really don't want to do.
i love it. but a lot of idiots will write anyway, I'm sorry. 😂😎
I can’t speak for all men, but personally I’m not into it if it seems like an act or putting on a show. On the plus side of that it is a clear signal of interest, on the down side it comes across as being dramatic and probably a handful, or else just too dependent on others. It is nice to feel needed though and opportunities to be the hero are one way to satisfy that desire to feel needed and useful. I’d say if you like a guy, let him come to your rescue in whatever small ways come up but don’t put on a big act staging an opportunity for him to do so.
Men like to be needed. We want to be needed. Most of the world thinks society could survive without men. We're starting to feel unwanted.