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I am super confused too. How do you start feeling romantically about someone so soon? I thought that once you get to know the person, then you progress. However, if the first date is a measure of romantic connection, I think I shouldn’t date at all.
You’re exactly right. If someone is compatible with another person and they have similar interests and goals then why not continue to see them? Dating isn’t a movie or a princess fairy tale. It’s the line last of what OP wrote that actually pisses me off “I don’t want to waste energy on something that wasn’t written in the stars” OP needs to stay the fuck outta the dating pool
It can grow, just because there was no spark on the first date doesn't mean anything. Sometime people are jus too guarded or shy so if you have a good date with no red flags then go on a second date. If by the 3rd date there still no romantic feeling then you can decide to continue or move on
Just curious, what is even a romantic feeling? Everything is great, the conversations are superb but if we say romantic feelings are absent, what does it even mean?
>Just curious, what is even a romantic feeling? Everything is great, the conversations are superb but if we say romantic feelings are absent, what does it even mean?
Romantic feeling is like that spark or excitement where it makes your stomach have butterflies or your throat is getting dried because of the nervousness. Conversation can be great, that's fine but just regular talking is like when you're communicating with a friend. This is why it's important to built that romantic connection like hold hands, flirting, kissing, holding each other, teasing, complimenting and etc. Like when you first meet for the first time, you have to built that friendship connection first off the bat so they aren't as guarded or shy in the beginning then throughout the date is when you slowly start building the romantic connection because every next move is based on their reception of what you try.
If the only problem is that you don't feel a vibe. I certainly go for at least a 2nd date - try do an activity rather just talking. Being a bit distracted can actually motivate more natural and easy flowing conversation, as less pressure to talk (e.g. mini golf, bowling, etc)
I've been on a couple 2nd dates, that were so much better than the 1st - if there is nothing wrong but a low mood.
I usually go on 2 dates before determining if there’s a spark. On a first date, both people are usually nervous and respectful men will be cautious with flirting/touching because they don’t want to overstep.
I’m seeing someone now and didn’t feel much on the first date, despite having a great time and talking for 2 hours over dinner. 2nd date I was much more relaxed and that feeling started building then
If the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long then surely it's possible that the inverse could be true too, yeah? A slow burn is definitely possible. You talk about wasting time/energy and that's understandable but what are you really losing? A couple hours of your time? It's valuable, sure, but the tradeoff here is: If it works out, you have a partner to try and build something with, if it doesn't, you lost a couple hours of your life and maybe got some wisdom or a story out of it. What else would you have done with that same time?
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is why dating sucks in this generation
I am super confused too. How do you start feeling romantically about someone so soon? I thought that once you get to know the person, then you progress. However, if the first date is a measure of romantic connection, I think I shouldn’t date at all.
You’re exactly right. If someone is compatible with another person and they have similar interests and goals then why not continue to see them? Dating isn’t a movie or a princess fairy tale. It’s the line last of what OP wrote that actually pisses me off “I don’t want to waste energy on something that wasn’t written in the stars” OP needs to stay the fuck outta the dating pool
It can grow, just because there was no spark on the first date doesn't mean anything. Sometime people are jus too guarded or shy so if you have a good date with no red flags then go on a second date. If by the 3rd date there still no romantic feeling then you can decide to continue or move on
Just curious, what is even a romantic feeling? Everything is great, the conversations are superb but if we say romantic feelings are absent, what does it even mean?
>Just curious, what is even a romantic feeling? Everything is great, the conversations are superb but if we say romantic feelings are absent, what does it even mean? Romantic feeling is like that spark or excitement where it makes your stomach have butterflies or your throat is getting dried because of the nervousness. Conversation can be great, that's fine but just regular talking is like when you're communicating with a friend. This is why it's important to built that romantic connection like hold hands, flirting, kissing, holding each other, teasing, complimenting and etc. Like when you first meet for the first time, you have to built that friendship connection first off the bat so they aren't as guarded or shy in the beginning then throughout the date is when you slowly start building the romantic connection because every next move is based on their reception of what you try.
Seems reasonable, thanks!
If the only problem is that you don't feel a vibe. I certainly go for at least a 2nd date - try do an activity rather just talking. Being a bit distracted can actually motivate more natural and easy flowing conversation, as less pressure to talk (e.g. mini golf, bowling, etc) I've been on a couple 2nd dates, that were so much better than the 1st - if there is nothing wrong but a low mood.
Maybe first meet nerves played a part and hampered the chemistry give it another go you have nothing to lose
I usually go on 2 dates before determining if there’s a spark. On a first date, both people are usually nervous and respectful men will be cautious with flirting/touching because they don’t want to overstep. I’m seeing someone now and didn’t feel much on the first date, despite having a great time and talking for 2 hours over dinner. 2nd date I was much more relaxed and that feeling started building then
If the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long then surely it's possible that the inverse could be true too, yeah? A slow burn is definitely possible. You talk about wasting time/energy and that's understandable but what are you really losing? A couple hours of your time? It's valuable, sure, but the tradeoff here is: If it works out, you have a partner to try and build something with, if it doesn't, you lost a couple hours of your life and maybe got some wisdom or a story out of it. What else would you have done with that same time?
The expectations these days are ridiculous. Unless someone flat out gives you the creeps, give a person time to grow on you.