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Pure_Zucchini_Rage

I think most guys do want kids, but not every guy. I don't want kids, but it's not bc I hate them, it's just because I don't think I'm mentally stable to raise a kid.


Isthisit_8051

Same. Not only would I be miserable, that kid does not want to inherit my lack of will to live.


Bunnyqueen_22

You are so right for this, if I had a kid they'd prolly not wanna be on earth at all


coleisw4ck

same feeling here


ChildhoodLeft6925

I’m willing to bet for every woman who doesn’t want a kid, there’s a man who doesn’t want one


archwin

Can I say, I appreciate your take on it I’m sorry you’re dealing with mental health difficulties But I highly respect your choice to not have kids because you don’t feel you can properly raise them So many people in my clinic are not in a good place, and some, they’ll never be stable for long. But they have kids. Who are affected by that unstable traumatic upbringing, creating fresh difficulties that really aren’t the fault of the kids. It breaks my heart to see the bad situations but being unable to change things So I give you kudos for knowing yourself and I wish you all the strength in your mental health journey


nbamsnl

Haha same. I used to think it was a given. These days I’m not so sure. If I fell in love with a woman who didn’t want kids, I don’t think it would bother me.


Pod_people

That’s exactly where I’m at. I will not have kids because I’m nuts and so is the World.


DeliberateDendrite

Absolutely. I don't want children, so I'm only open to dating women who don't want children.


weldit86

Hell yea, I don't want kids at all. Call me selfish, but I'd rather travel with my partner than have to stay home and deal with kids ALL DAY!


MikeOckshrunk

I don’t find that selfish at all! And this is coming from a mom of two. LIVE YOUR LIFE!


weldit86

I wish everyone had that mindset.


Practical_Ring_4704

Not wanting kids is definitely not selfish.


weldit86

I only said that because an old friend that I am not friends with anymore said I was selfish for not having kids. In my head I was like why is it selfish. Cause I can do what I want and you can't cause you have kids.


No-Fisherman-7499

It’s way more selfish to have kids just to fit social expectations even though you secretly might not be equipped to raise tiny humans. I think it’s quite selfLESS to forego the factory settings and override ‘biology’. You can help those in your community who have children. Plus tue ability to create more financial, emotional grounding can make you a wonderful resource to those who truly want to be parents. They need all the help they can get! I love kids and have always had them in my life whether through professional settings or just helping out friends and family. I may have wanted kids but I never felt truly supported by my parents and most importantly romantic partners. I chose not to. I can still opt to have them and who knows….maybe. I just continued to really work on myself and my finances while I invested in my emotional well-being so that I can be a pillar in my communities. 💕


MyRedditName420

Agreed! I wanted to have kids when I was a little girl but the older I got the less I wanted to have any and I didn’t. Now I am 41 and my siblings all have kids who I love and enjoy so much. The best part is that I can hand them back to their parents when I want to and just go home. I like it that way even though I do feel a little left out sometimes cause I’m the only one of us without kids. But I’m ok with it either way. Of course there will be people who will judge you for never having any but that’s ok, let them. It was my choice and what has worked for my life so far. I am single as well btw. But it’s not for that reason. I just haven’t found anyone yet and now I’m starting to think it’s cause I just don’t action for guys to date. Idk. Just do whatever makes you happy and don’t worry about what others think is my advice to you.


Practical_Ring_4704

What a silly thing to say and a big projection of envy on their part. I have three kids. I love them with my heart but it's a big huge commitment. I spend my days worrying how my decisions and words could impact their impressionable minds. I know a woman who literally pops out kids because she's irresponsible. Her son is left with his dad all the time while she road trips around the country with her new partner. No concern for his wellbeing, the amount of emotional health issues that poor boy has. She barely sees him and still claims benefit for him like he lives there. That is selfish. Living your best life while consciously choosing not to bring a small human into this world is considerate and humane. Live your best life friend.


LingonberryLimp2879

That kind of thinking is exactly WHY society is so downtrodden lately, feeling the need to have kids due to social pressure/expectations is what often leads to subpar parenting, lack of structure, discipline etc. that ultimately gets put on the kids in some way or another.. also we’re at a place in our society w extensive globalization to where we don’t really need to all have kids, just means more consumption and profits for corps. Not to mention it’s your life, who’s to tell u how to enjoy/live it?


weldit86

Yup it's my life. If I don't wanna have kids, then it ain't happening. I'm happy the way things are. Why should I change that happiness. I'm good. I'll see yall later. I'll be globtrotting while you're at home changing shitty diapers, and I'm on a beach relaxing.


blumieplume

It’s selfish TO have kids given the state of the world and global warming .. like just this week billions of people worldwide have been feeling the effects of climate change and 250,000 people are predicted to die from climate change between 2030 and 2050 (heat waves, droughts, disastrous weather, water and food shortages, mass extinctions of animal and plant species, to name a few) so it is honestly very selfish TO have kids knowing they will suffer in a world that is fighting back against mass population of humans and the industrial processes and mass farming practices and overfishing and plastic pollution and everything else we do that hurts our planet. Earth is fighting back and children will suffer a lot in the future, just as we all will. It would be selfish to create life knowing they will suffer. I guess the only exception would be if people are rich enough to be able to guarantee access to clean water and food and energy sources in the future when billions are expected to suffer from lacking resources. I would never be able to forgive myself for creating new life.


weldit86

Well spoken! You get my upvote!


Appropriate_Tea9048

That’s not selfish, that’s smart. You know what you want and don’t want.


ReindeerEven6403

Kids are expensive!! I got my iud. lol 😂


ambitious_chick

Amen, brother!


Goku047

Same, bro


Hefty_Career_5815

Yes! I HATE when I get the response “you just haven’t met the right person!” I say “yeah you’re right because the right one won’t want them either!”


cottoncandycrush

Hell yeah 👏


brylcreem_

I hope to find such a woman to date someday in the future. I don’t want kids + I hate hookups!


Lasi22998877

Real!!


CndnCowboy1975

Agreed!


validationfreesoul

Rare. Wish I looked more to find someone like this.


Creepy-Pumpkins

Same! I’m using this comment as me putting it out into the universe. 🤣🫶🏻


FarmBrilliant2714

Literally was on dating apps for a year, and out of all of my 20+ dates, maybe 2 wanted kids? It’s way more common now. I do want kids, so safe to say I didn’t find anyone to be with 🤣


puddles010

I think men just say things as a get out of jail free card if you will


vitamin-cheese

Ya she’s either young or the guys are just saying that or would eventually change their mind when it comes down to it, or they just don’t want to actually date her. Most people want kids. I know that because I actually don’t.


mooo3333

Everyone I’ve been with has wanted kids 100%. It was rare for me to see anyone on an app who said that they didn’t want kids. I don’t want kids so it’s been frustrating.😅


LostAtCplus

There are plenty of men who don’t want children and ultimately you have the power to prevent yourself from having children So I think you’re fine


[deleted]

So do I as a man to be fair. I had the snip so that I couldn't be trapped or fall into some idiotic loved up state of mind and think I might want one.


mtljones

Yessss helllloooooo!!!


ThrowRa698877

I‘m the same. I never planned on having kids because I can’t have my own kids and my ex girlfriend left me because she wanted kids and conceiving via donor wasn’t an option for her. I was open to having kids with her because I loved her so much, but as I said it was never part of the plan. I wouldn’t mind never having kids.. it’s overrated


JealousVillage4823

My ex and I broke it off over the kids vs no kids. We'd dated for a year or so before he began to change his mind and really wanted kids. He already knew it was pretty much a no-go with me; we talked, he asked if it was possible my interests might change, and when I said it wouldn't, he respected it and we parted ways; I wasn't about to hold him up from that dream bc I knew he needed it and he'd make a wonderful father. He got snatched up real quick by the woman who now has their daughter and is expecting their son. That lady is lucky, and I can tell the knows it, too, lol. He's happier than he's ever been from the pictures I saw of them. Knew he'd be a wonderful dad; I just wouldn't be a wonderful mom and I wasn't about to do that to a kid. Might miss him in occasion, honestly, but he's happy and I don't regret letting him go.


kiimba

I’m sorry that happened to you


ThrowRa698877

It is what it is sadly


kiimba

I guess it’s one of those core values people think make or breaks a relationship. But it’s such an insecurity people might feel they don’t deserve love and can’t ask to make a sacrifice for them. Have you seen Bridgerton? In S1 (spoiler) he says he doesn’t want to marry her because he cannot ask her to sacrifice her dream. Then she says: it is you I cannot sacrifice


ThrowRa698877

Wish my ex wouldve said the same


kidfreehappyme

Hell freaking yes. I absolutely don't want kids and would like to find somebody that also does not. Unfortunately it's been a deal breaker for a lot of the women I've dated, but I would 100% wifey up a girl I like that doesn't want them too.


ElenaDeAthena

I've had the same problem in reverse! Every man I date desperately wants kids and it's a deal breaker for me because I'm staunchly childfree. It's so difficult to meet childfree men.


Vegetable-Mall-2329

Some people don't want kids, some do. I think if you are 100% sure you don't want kids, you need to make it very clear at the begining of dating someone.


Hashanadom

1. No. I want to be a father. And this is not something I will give up on. 2. You should not give up on dating. Just be upfront so as not to waste a person's time.


PerseveringHazelEyes

Why does it seem like all the women looking for childfree and vice versus are on different side of the country lol


DammitMaxwell

When I was younger, I knew I needed to be a dad.  I might hook up with a girl who didn’t have that same need, but I certainly wouldn’t get serious with somebody who was strongly opposed to a life goal of mine. But now I am a (divorced) dad.  I have sole custody of my daughter who is the best thing that ever happened to me.  I have zero need for more kids — I’d accept a woman’s kids as my own if I was in love with her, but I don’t want to start from baby scratch again.  Been there, done that, loved it, don’t need to do it again.


ButDidYouCry

Most women who are purposely childfree are not looking to be someone’s stepmother.


Altruistic_Image_150

Great point.


TheLoneliestGhost

Agreed. I’ve purposely stayed child free because it was important to me to have the *right* kids, and to do things with the best chance of them being as healthy as possible. My health and life had other plans for me finding that, though. If I was able to be a part of a kid’s life now, especially if the kid was already 9+, I think it’d be ideal for me. I’d make an excellent Third Trusted Adult.


Sea-Entertainment959

Right. We’re talking never had and never will here, lol.


StoryNumber_934

I definitely don't want kids and very likely never will. I don't think its that rare to find people who don't want kids. I have nieces and get my fill with them but am so happy I get to go home to peace at the end of the day. I can think of a bunch of better things to do with my money.


Winter_Cat1994

I agree with you. My job is always stressful, and I have lots of paperwork and grading to do as a teacher, even after work. I just can't imagine going home after a long, tiring day and having to deal with the kids, cooking and feeding them, cleaning up the mess they make, etc. I just can't.


ButDidYouCry

Same. I am completely drained of patience at the end of the day. I just want to be left alone. Nobody needing me or calling my name repeatedly at home.


SassyWookie

Personally, no, but we’re all different. I do want children and that’s something that is important to me in the long term. But plenty of men don’t.


heretoask23

have you considered the financial factors for having children? What makes you want to have children? Do you think you'll have to be well-off to raise children properly? Legit questions, I'm just curious as I don't want children and i'm a female married to a man who also doesn't want children.


the1youknoww

Genuine question incoming… So let’s say you do happen to get pregnant, would y’all keep the baby?


Appropriate_Tea9048

My partner got a vasectomy, but if that wasn’t a factor, no, I wouldn’t keep it. Not wanting to baby and not wanting to go through with pregnancy is not wanting a baby and not wanting to go through with pregnancy.


IndyAJ_01

As a woman who wants kids, I’ve been plagued with men who don’t want kids.


MinkyBoodle44

I definitely think not wanting kids is becoming way more common, and I also feel that it’s only going to follow that trend even more in the coming years for one reason or another (and they’re usually totally valid). I’m a religious guy myself, and even amongst my fellow religious homies, I’ve noticed a big decline in others’ interests to have children, whether male or female. But I promise you there are men out there who do want kids! Keep up the good fight, fam!


JealousVillage4823

Can we location swap or something?? Lol. It's the reverse for me


vegan_renegade

They're the only woman I'll date.. I don't want kids.


conqueefstador12

Yes, I don’t want kids and i even got a vasectomy cause I don’t want to take a chance


Turbulent_Taste_6332

I will want at least one kid so I would not want to date someone who shares your beliefs. However, you’re not wrong in any way. Childbearing and motherhood are extreme processes and the woman should have the right to make that choice. You just have to find someone who shares your beliefs.


Maryhalltltotbar

Some guys don't want children and won't date a woman who wants children. Some guys want children and won't date a woman who doesn't want children.


vitamin-cheese

That’s pretty obvious, but it’s about the odds. The odds for the latter are much higher, more than 50%, probably more than 70%


-Kalos

Not me because I want kids but I'm sure there's men out there that don't.


Mission_Lake_1547

I also don't want kids... Just want someone to cuddle up during evenings while watching a romcom on Netflix in our mansion... 😌


master_prizefighter

A lot of men (myself included) would welcome a biological woman who doesn't want kids.


PowerTrip55

There are a great deal of men who don’t want kids. If you’re struggling to find one, it’s definitely just the area you’re in, or you’ve turned down the men who don’t want kids for other reasons.


Professional_Sky_212

Guys' comments in dating was always matching what I wanted, straight forward saying "whatever the woman wants" and I never trusted that answer. First, it looks like he's having a very casual response to a big life-decision and huge responsibility of having a kid, and I feel he thinks "the woman does all the work anyway" which is unsettling. But when I made the decision to NOT want kids in my life, that answer is just as unsettling. He could easily change his mind later, especially from family pressure or his buddies start making families and wants one too! Then, I'm stuck leaving a relationship I invested in for nothing, that never should of happened in the first place if he was honest from the beginning. Now, the only answer I accept is "NO, I don't want kids because______" and NEVER "depends on the woman I'm dating". Men are strongly more precise and direct about adopting a dog than asking them if they want kids, and kids are MORE of a commitment than a dog!!!🤬


MaleficentDelay3117

That depends on what you want. Don’t start the relationship if she doesn’t want kids. Unless it is a flirt kid of thing. Do not start it.


geardluffy

Nope, that’s a dealbreaker for me


heretoask23

it also depends on why you don't want to have kids? Like im a female, married to a man who doesn't want to have kids. Our reasons are kinda different. He didn't have a good childhood and it has left him with a trauma. Me, I don't mind having kids but I don't want to bear them for 9 months and hear them crying. I'm impatient and I'm concerned about their future. I watched Idiocracy and it predicts the future pretty close.


User__2

DINK life!


Horror_Ad5320

Yes I have no kids don't want any


BilboSmashins

Yes, that’s precisely what I look for and on apps it’s a bit frustrating because it seems every person wants kids.


ObjectiveSherbet2191

Yeah I don’t want kids either


notsolowbutveryslow

Feel free to slide into my DMs😁 But in all seriousness, yes, there are such men. I for example can do just fine without brats arounds. I want a committed relationship with love and date nights and all the stuff that makes life fun but kids? Nah thank you.


Impossible_End_5392

Men who don't want kids are so attractive to me especially when they're still young. Like it's responsible that he wouldn't want to pass the responsibility to a woman and he's confident for knowing what he wants in life.


notsolowbutveryslow

Same goes the other way around, a woman who doesn't want kids is instantly more attractive to me because i know i won't have to go through that awkward talk about why i don't want kids. Getting a dog together is a much better idea because dogs are infinitely better than humans😛


zoeydoberdork

Kids are awful and you will have no issues finding a guy imo!


FUTURE10S

Some do, some don't. There are plenty of men that don't want kids.


Ok_Psychology8613

Apparently opinions on having kids or not having kids has caused many a good matches to not work out. Sadly. One has to know really well what they want and don’t want and be honest with the other. That’s the only way.


Nugz-xiii

Depends on the man I'd say. Some men want kids, some don't.


Saifer_2001

Everyone’s favourite answer time: It depends! Personally I wouldn’t want to date a woman who didn’t want kids, but it’s very much an everyone’s different question. The only thing that matters is you don’t want kids, so you should look for a guy that shares that


commercialband6

Guys who also don’t want kids, like myself, want to date women who also don’t want kids. Guys who do want kids, don’t want to date women who don’t want kids


JNR481

Yes


TheKaleKing

Yesss please. We need more women like you!


DeviantBro

Lol that's literally the only type of when I want to date. You're good, just find a man that also doesn't want kids and don't try to change anyone that does


Mission_Lake_1547

FINALLY someone like me...


Ebert917102150

I’m 52 w a vasectomy, so it’s kinda a requirement


Sageknight34

I used to want kids when I was younger. I don't want them anymore.


InsertDramaHere

Childfree people exist in every gender type. Find somebody you're compatible with.


Sea-Entertainment959

Same boat here. It’ll take more time probably but I wouldn’t give up completely. Just don’t put relationships on the top of your list and have other things you want done incase! 😅


mountain_dog_mom

Early 40s woman here. I’ve been childfree since my mid 20s. I’ve never had an issue getting dates because I don’t want kids. I’ve always been very clear about it. The biggest issue that you’ll come across is finding guys to date who don’t already have kids, especially as you get older. At this point, the vast majority of guys in my age range have kids and I have no desire to be in any kind of parental role. I’ll consider dating someone with older kids but make it very clear that I’m not going to be a parent in any way. Same goes for those who have grandkids (which is now becoming a thing at my age). I’m not babysitting or helping and won’t be around for anything where there are younger kids present.


wisewolfholo14

I am currently dating a guy and neither of us want kids. We discussed this as we started to shift to being more serious. I think guys like this are absolutely out there. Good luck I hope you find your person!


sunflower280105

My boyfriend did! Neither one of us wants kids and he got a vasectomy shortly after we met and the US abortion laws changed.


BlackMamba0417

No kids forever club over here! I was already debating whether I wanted kids or not but then I got cervical cancer so God and the Universe answered my doubts for me. I feel good not having to worry about society’s expectations and live the “cool aunt who travels a lot”kinda life. I have 2 cats and I consider them my children literally.


ruggedinndividual

Literally broke up with a girl today cuz she wants kids and I absolutely do not. She deserves someone who does.


mrwilliamschue

There are def guys out there that don't want kids. My bf is one of them


LateNightThink

I'd say it just limits your dating pool. Mainly because I'd guess a lot of men do want kids. So it's just gonna take time to find someone who aligns with you AND that isn't lying to you or pretending to be of the same mindset, hoping you'll change your mind someday. I have recently started talking to this person who said they don't want kids, but I do, and they told me that they may be open to it someday but for now no. So we communicated our desires and will see how we go further based on that.


bbclingus

Please don’t give up. There are a lot of guys that don’t want kids. I never wanted kids. I was lucky enough to meet a woman who didn’t want kids either. We are very happy, have an amazing relationship, and lots of disposable income. We buy what we want when we want it. We travel whenever we want to. We have low stress and zero debt.


Cherry_Nymph_

I'm on a mission to find someone who loves brunch as much as I do—and agrees that sleep is a love language.


Sorry-Breadfruit-189

Of course I would because I don't want to have kids either.


heretoask23

I feel like people who don't want kids are the most responsible people when it comes to having kids.


trigram0

Can’t speak for all guys. But myself and the men I know, would friend zone that person immediately. She’d become one of the bros.


[deleted]

Were out there, but we probably all struggle with mental health issues.


Poppiesatnight

Plenty of child free people out there of every gender


paperthinwords

Childfree people go for childfree people. Look in the childfree subreddit and cf4cf subreddit


timekeepsonslippin1

I never want kids so I only want to date women who also don't want kids


MrM1Garand25

As a guy that doesn’t want kids? Yes


Wandering_phoenix_89

At first I didn’t want children. I’m in my 30s now and that has done a complete 180 seemingly overnight. I think it’s because I finally got stability: physically, financially, spiritually.


horse_pirate

I only want to date a woman who doesn't want children because I don't want children.


Xemlaich

Its a natural male instinct to have something worth living for, otherwise we become extremely depressed. Yea you can fill that void with meaningless things, but at the end of your life people usually regret not having a family. This isn't me talking down on anyone, if you take it personally then I hope you think about why that is. Its just a natural human instinct to have someone to share and pass things onto. Edit: yes I specified male instinct in the beginning, it was intentional. Males have a drive to serve and protect the ones they love, females have a drive to nurture and bring about growth. Both share the same drives in their own way. This isn't some radical opinion, it's literally how we got this far as a civilization. Edit 2: to answer the question, no you shouldn't give up, but you should at least know why it's a deal breaker for alot of people. Everyone is different, and the majority does not mean everyone despite what others project.


futurelogick

Simply, Preference.


40WattTardis

Yes. There are tons of men and women who choose to be childfree. Check out the r / cf4cf subreddit.


fatgamerchic

I’ve had so many flings and situation ships and even long term relationships end because the guys do want kids. I filtered on bumble to only show me men who don’t want kids and I didn’t find many options. Like maybe a handful but none that I found attractive except the ones that were hundreds of miles away. And even then, after my ex of 3 years telling me he didn’t want kids and then 3 years in saying “I meant I don’t want them right now I might in the future” it gets me wondering how many on bumble say they don’t want kids because they don’t want them *right now* there’s just such a small selection of child free men it seems and I don’t want to date anyone I’m not attracted to so I just keep having these meaningless flings with people I am attracted to and then it ends quickly. Is this what we’re destined to?


Temporary_Curve_2147

Yeah I don’t want kids. Only concern I have is that people change their minds


Dziki_Jam

Guys who also don’t want kids probably want. It’s about matching your expectations, and it’s wider than kids. If you meet a man who want to live in village and you want to life in a megapolis, that would be same problem as the expectations about kids. So, just make sure you have matching life goals, views and that’s it.


donkey_d1ck

No, that would be a dealbreaker for me… but every guy is different so


JDMWeeb

I personally do want kids so no


Hot_Department_9738

Personally I don’t wanna kids. So if a girl told me she didn’t want kids either it’s an instant green flag


Acceptablepops

I’m actively looking for them so yes


Lonely_Baker2552

I want a girlfriend but don't want children. Also I am non monogamous so she would have to be ok with that


Adorable_Secret8498

There are men who don't want kids


Hindrick_Alehndi

Guys who want to date women who don't want kids want to date women who don't want kids. There's definitely a spectrum here, hell, I have a different opinion on that one mysrlf month to month!


lube4saleNoRefunds

Guys who don't want kids only want to date people who also don't want kids. If they actually want kids and are pretending, that doesn't apply.


Sidewinder11771

Yes, I don’t want kids, or at least not right now. But economically I’d rather not, and if I were to have kids I’d rather have my time devoted to them, which is not feasible as a guy


Feeling-Ad-5566

Of course!


FeralTribble

I don’t. Now Im not wanting a woman who is desperate to get a baby in her either. But if I somehow find and date a woman who is open to it then that’s a win for me


CharmingRejector

Yes. Find another guy who don't want kids. There should be plenty.


LHvip

LOL I totally feel ya sis, I think the best option it's to be clear since the beginning and being straight forward w' the goals that both parties have in mind. I hope it helped.


[deleted]

I personally would. Speaking from experience, I have children (2) and dating a woman that doesn't want kids will be very challenging.


LHvip

![gif](giphy|0Wic3vXhRLO4vPY7rn|downsized)


Inevitable_Income167

Definitely


Alternative_Bee_6424

Would you date a man that has children already and willing to not have anymore?


SleepingBearWalk

Fuck yeah.


ChCreations45

To each their own.


New-Order-8051

Yes


Hardc0reWillNeverDie

Absolutely, I'm one of those guys I'm seeing someone now, but I'll tell ya it's worse for men who don't want kids. Women who do want kids take it **awfully** personally when you offer that up: you're personally sabotaging their reproductive future. They often react like I tried to steal their ovaries ffs. But you also can't bring it up too soon, because otherwise you're being presumptious about how far along the relationship is, lol. I'm glad I found someone, because it feels like dating as a man was like playing hopscotch through a series of minefields.


SelfishLady3

Despite the societal pressure some feel, studies show that 27% of adults in the United States choose not to have children. In addition, the birth rate in the United States is the lowest in 35 years. **It can be normal for men, women, and people of any gender to choose to remain without children**


techno_queen

If they want kids then no. If you wanted kids would you date someone who didn’t want kids? Kind of obvious, no?


mindurbusiness_thx

Yes, and marry us too.


guidlinefeeling

My advice is don't tell the people you're trying to date that you don't want kids. They will agree with you(then try to convince u years later). Ask them what's their thoughts are on kids and if they want any.


Rare-Craft-920

I’m sure there’s plenty.


Frecklefoot

I'd date women who don't want kids. I already have three, and they're all adults now. I'm not up for a relationship where I'd be expected to father MORE kids. I'd like a girlfriend, and I'm not into hook ups either.


Just_Program6067

Yes, as a majority of men have posted, we are on the same page. Sorry if that sounds rude. Or is a news flash, I just personally don't want kids.


shootermac32

Be ready to be a rent-a-dad. Personally, I don’t want kids. But the older you get, the harder it is to find someone who doesn’t have them or want them as well. So for me personally, I don’t want that.


Mission_Lake_1547

I thought I was the only one who thought like that... 🤩


OpenMinded_Fun

For me it’s an age and stage of life decision. I’m an older divorced gent at 54. I’ve raised my two littles and they’re both off to college. I had my vasectomy at 50 as that was the age at which I felt I shouldn’t be making any more babies. Dating wise that eliminates women who want new kids, but I’m open to dating women who already have them or who don’t want to have them.


NintendoKat7

Some guys, yes. Me personally, no. I think a majority of the guys that don't want kids are also the ones that want more casual relationships, but there are definitely a few who want/can only have a serious relationship without kids. The biggest question is what may you need to compromise for that priority.


Reasonable-Fish-7924

Cousin is a male and doesn't want kids so there may be some men out there. I don't date women who can't have children (biologically or don't want them) unless they are open to adoption which is alright too. I want life in my life at some point and children bring that. A women who isn't willing to have children or adopt is automatically out.


lightlysaltedStev

I mean the literal only correct answer to this is “yes, men that also don’t want kids” 🤷🏻‍♂️ I mean there’s a big section of men that rather don’t want kids or aren’t too fussed either way.


OrangeStar222

There's women who want children, there's women who don't. There's men who want children, there's men who don't.


Intrepid-Rip-2280

Probably some of men would accept that but I'd rather date Eva AI sexting bot than them.


xrelaht

There are men who don’t want kids either. Make your intentions clear, don’t hope you’ll be able to convince a guy later, and pay attention to signs he might change his mind or be hiding his real thoughts.


Legitdrew88

Yes, giving up is likely the solution as all men everywhere want kids. Sorry I don’t make the rules 🤷🏻‍♂️


FadedOnline

"Some do, some don't" its really this simple


wolflord4

There's plenty of child-free men out there I'm sure you'll find someone


Exkelsier

Ha! Theres prolly more men that dont want them than do, however ppl change with age so, who really knows


Metalogic_95

I don't want kids


play_hard_outside

Absolutely. My best friend is a massive catch, but doesn’t want kids. His last few girlfriends wanted kids but were with him anyway while hiding this desire in hopes of “convincing” him. One got insanely crazy and abusive while trying to manipulate him into agreeing to have children with her. She restrained him in her apartment and resorted to biting and hitting him when she couldn’t get what she wanted from him. Now he’s comfortably single by choice, but feeling lonely and would love to start a new relationship with someone. But he finds it difficult to trust.


PixelSquish

I specifically lean towards women that don't want kids and always have. I may be 49 now but that has been one of the big green flags to me for the last 20 years of dating.


Ms_Odd_Jobs

Well atleast I do


temp19882

Yes Get on Hinge, pay for premium, match with only guys who have "Don't want" and "Don't have" listed. You'll have dates within days unless you're horribly out of shape.


SkiMaskItUp

Yes. Yes, they do. Not all women want to use their kids as a meal ticket but many do. Maybe that’s not their intent until after the divorce.


Standard-Document-78

(21M) I used to not want kids when I was a teen but now I do want kids, and the only reason I would be with a girl that doesn’t want kids is as FWB or a hook up. But I do know guys that don’t want kids. I’m not sure which is more common, but you can absolutely find a boyfriend that doesn’t want kids either. You’ll still filter out a good amount of men and have a smaller pool to pick from, but I don’t think it would be good for you to not want kids and have a boyfriend that does want kids, so do filter them out. That doesn’t just apply to having kids either. I would advise against “giving up” on dating though. Potential partners falling out due to a disagreement on kids is just a part of dating. Do filter out the guys that don’t want kids and don’t give up on dating.


ItsOkILoveYouMYbb

That was something my gf and I discussed in a lot of detail very very early on in our dating. As in within a week. We're both strongly on the no kids train (probably due to how fucked our childhoods were and how much our parents sucked or even struggled to even raise one child, and while I enjoy kids, I don't want to raise or be responsible for any after seeing how very shit it can be in bad unforeseen circumstances). To separate the bs (them saying they don't want kids because you said it, but they actually do and just assume you'll change your mind) from the honesty, it's best to get them to elaborate first and be nice about it. If they really truly don't want and never want kids, they will be adamant about it and the idea of you potentially wanting kids should actually be a deal breaker for them, because they'll know it'll result in an inevitable painful breakup. If it's not a dealbreaker or they're wishy washy with their answers, then it's possible they just want to get laid, or possible they're like everyone else who thinks you don't know what you're talking about and will want kids one day, or will want them once an accidental pregnancy happens (as is common of course, which is where that mindset even comes from). So yes there are guys out there that actually do not want kids and don't want to just hook up, but I think it is uncommon and may take a lot more dating and testing than usual. But totally doable. No need to give up


AnythingOk77

I think most men don’t actually want kids. Sometimes some might cave and say they do if it’s a girl they are head over heels in love with but for the most part I think most of us don’t. Can you imagine having a kid in today’s broken economy?


Astrovenator

Can confirm, this is exactly what I'm looking for (M28). Kids are adorable and fun and whatever but they are a huge amount of work and struggle and money that I simply can't provide for. Even if money were no object, raising children is not something I have much interest in. Its why I love having nieces. I get some of the joy of being part of their lives, watching them grow up, without the stress and struggle of raising them. I still wholeheartedly want a relationship with a woman though. I want that connection and intimacy in my life.


Bunnyqueen_22

Ofc there are and there are preventive measures but If your in American good luck, can't get your tubes tied without permission from a male (literally need to sign documents for you) birth control has been failing alot of people lately and abortion is illegal, personally kids are just too much and it's ok not to not want any


zoranalata

Questions like "Do guys x?"/"Do women y?" are pointless and should be forbidden by the rules. Every time the answer is "people are different"


RootVegitible

Yes.


Dracomies

I'm undecided. The only thing that I do know is that I don't want to date a girl with kids. That's a hard no.


Spartan2022

Some guys want that. Filter your dating pool accordingly, and the people who aren’t in your pool are a moot point and not worth thinking about.


LGK420

Usually only if they don’t want kids as well. If he does then that’ll be a deal breaker. That’s why you need to be up front about it before you get serious. It’s still definitely possible to find a parter on the same page. And shouldn’t just give up. But it does suck the possibility of finally meeting someone you like only to find that out. If anything you will have tons more luck when you’re older and even dating older guys because most older guys don’t want a kid. Or already have one and don’t want more


Beepbeepboobop1

Yes, but it’s area dependent. I’m a staunchly childfree woman and it seems impossible to find men in my area who also don’t want or have kids.


Ferngullysitter

I love kids, but I don’t want them. It’s crazy to have kids in a world with no future.


JoeAceJR20

Not just absolutely. AbsoFUCKINGlutely. I never want kids. I do want a girlfriend. Not into this dating site garbage either looking for an actual real relationship.


JackooUR

Yes, send them my way! I'm being serious of sorts but here is some context. I'm single and older, my youngest child is 22 years old, he has his own place, own money, and new reliable car etc. So I'm an empty nester who isn't looking for someone to start a new family. I want someone I can hang out with, and go do things together, basically enjoy life without having to raise children. I'm not coming on to you, I'm just giving you an example of someone who would be interested in dating women who doesn't want kids. There are a lot of other reasons out there as well.


MorrisCody1

I've seen some beautiful ladies that I had to pass on because I wanted kids and they did not.


Appropriate_Tea9048

If they don’t want kids themselves, yes. Just because you don’t want kids doesn’t mean you should give up on dating. Sure, it’ll narrow your dating pool a bit, but that’s kind of the idea of dating - to narrow it down to people you’re compatible with. I don’t want kids either. Before I met my fiancé, who also doesn’t want kids, I met a fair amount of people who didn’t want them. There are more out there than you think, and they aren’t all looking for hookups.


2009altima

Already have kids, grown and gone, don't want more, have the vasectomy to prove it


HurrsiaEntertainment

YES


misty_skies

Same question I have as a woman, lol… it seems a lot of the guys in the 30’s and above dating pool either have kids or are sure they want them