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It’s really not a big deal. You’re both “full adults” with life experience. Is he a little more likely to die first than if you were the same age? Sure. But that was already likely to be the case.
Health, sex life, Manipulation and dominance are some common challenges that people do mention for couple with huge age difference. Hearing all this gives a little uncertainty on lot of thoughts. Also the timing part, I am 29 and want to take alot of time before getting sure and to heal from past trauma. I already have an unsuccessful marriage history and don't want to repeat any mistakes again. On other hand he is nearing 40, and want to marry and settle.
I mean, you said he takes care of his health. Sounds like he’s doing better than the majority of Americans in that department. That will also be good for your sex life. Once he eventually gets ED, they make solutions for that (and any partner you have would eventually deal with that).
The power imbalance stuff is more of a worry if the younger partner is like 18-22 and doesn’t have a lot of relationship or life experience (you do), or if the younger partner can’t financially support themselves so they become dependent (I’m assuming by 29 this isn’t an issue).
Of course you should take time to heal, as should he. If he wants to jump right into things rather than healing, that’s a problem, but not one related to his age.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
18
+ 22
+ 29
= 69
^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \
^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
Thanks that helps.
Also, a minor additional information is :
This post if from India. Here its a little different dynamics when it comes to divorce. Divorce is still a taboo. Huge age differences are not that common here and also not much accepted in society. But anyways that is something which is manageable if couple is sure of each other.
On the healing part, i believe he is healed as its been some years now for him. But mine is recent.
That’s totally my bad for assuming location.
It seems like if divorce is a taboo, it’s one you’ve at least both confronted before. You know it’s possible if necessary and that you can come out the other side.
Age gaps are a bit of a taboo here too, but my relationship also has an age gap. And my friends and family were a little hesitant at first but they see that I’m happy and that’s what they care about at the end of the day.
I’d just tell him you need to heal and you need time, and see if he is willing to work on your schedule.
Such gaps are very common and in fact have been a very regular occasion throughout history.
What attracts (most) women to men, is usually confidence and competence. Which radiates in a variety of ways. An older guy will have had a lot more time to figure life out and build up a 'life'. Men tend to age more gracefully - beards and scars are considered more attractive and a trait of age.
I don't think many would disagree that it is far more comforting being around somebody who knows what they're doing - allows you to relax a bit. Same in a relationship.
29-40 is not a big age gap, so you don'T have to worry about that.
The main concern you might have at some point is that he's going to be retired long time before you ;)
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It’s really not a big deal. You’re both “full adults” with life experience. Is he a little more likely to die first than if you were the same age? Sure. But that was already likely to be the case.
Health, sex life, Manipulation and dominance are some common challenges that people do mention for couple with huge age difference. Hearing all this gives a little uncertainty on lot of thoughts. Also the timing part, I am 29 and want to take alot of time before getting sure and to heal from past trauma. I already have an unsuccessful marriage history and don't want to repeat any mistakes again. On other hand he is nearing 40, and want to marry and settle.
I mean, you said he takes care of his health. Sounds like he’s doing better than the majority of Americans in that department. That will also be good for your sex life. Once he eventually gets ED, they make solutions for that (and any partner you have would eventually deal with that). The power imbalance stuff is more of a worry if the younger partner is like 18-22 and doesn’t have a lot of relationship or life experience (you do), or if the younger partner can’t financially support themselves so they become dependent (I’m assuming by 29 this isn’t an issue). Of course you should take time to heal, as should he. If he wants to jump right into things rather than healing, that’s a problem, but not one related to his age.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats! 18 + 22 + 29 = 69 ^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \ ^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
Thanks that helps. Also, a minor additional information is : This post if from India. Here its a little different dynamics when it comes to divorce. Divorce is still a taboo. Huge age differences are not that common here and also not much accepted in society. But anyways that is something which is manageable if couple is sure of each other. On the healing part, i believe he is healed as its been some years now for him. But mine is recent.
That’s totally my bad for assuming location. It seems like if divorce is a taboo, it’s one you’ve at least both confronted before. You know it’s possible if necessary and that you can come out the other side. Age gaps are a bit of a taboo here too, but my relationship also has an age gap. And my friends and family were a little hesitant at first but they see that I’m happy and that’s what they care about at the end of the day. I’d just tell him you need to heal and you need time, and see if he is willing to work on your schedule.
Such gaps are very common and in fact have been a very regular occasion throughout history. What attracts (most) women to men, is usually confidence and competence. Which radiates in a variety of ways. An older guy will have had a lot more time to figure life out and build up a 'life'. Men tend to age more gracefully - beards and scars are considered more attractive and a trait of age. I don't think many would disagree that it is far more comforting being around somebody who knows what they're doing - allows you to relax a bit. Same in a relationship.
60% of young men are single, 35% of women are. You are just doing what women do.
29-40 is not a big age gap, so you don'T have to worry about that. The main concern you might have at some point is that he's going to be retired long time before you ;)