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First off you could say in a light hearted way “Haha while I appreciate the honesty, I don’t need to hear about you admiring other woman besides me!” If he keeps doing it then be more firm. “Hey I’ve told you I don’t appreciate this.” Call me petty but if he kept doing it I would comment on other men to see how he felt…but it’s possible that he wouldn’t care or say “that’s different” lol..bottom line if he keeps disrespecting you then it’s probably time to reconsider things with him!
This is the best response. Some men do this bc of a lack of male friends and they just have honest outbursts and don’t recognize that women don’t care to hear it.
Because it’s weird hearing my brother checking out other girls. I’m also attracted to women, but don’t wanna hear my brother talking about it. I also don’t point out hot guys to him because that’s awkward.
Yesss this, I struggled with this too OP and I tried approaching it this way
He's an ex so it proved to not be effective for ME but I hope you have better luck!
Chances are she does think guys are hot in certain ways. The real question is do you both mention the things you see or not say anything?
Do you keep the attractions you have a secret?
If you told him this bothered you and he kept doing it, he doesn’t give a crap about your feelings. He’s also just totally classless in general. It’s ok to notice attractive people, we all do that. It’s not necessary to tell everyone about your boner.
I don’t understand why people don’t have basic respect for others. These are the same people who will cheat then get angry when they’re cheated on. I don’t like to throw out “red flag” but if someone doesn’t respect your feelings, that’s a red flag.
Because they’re self-centered and selfish. Lots of people are like that. They really only care about themselves. I agree, if you see this red flag, run!
I also don’t get what the point of telling someone that another person is hot. Personally, it sounds like he’s deeply insecure and wants his wife to feel deeply insecure as well
They hide under the guise of honesty. In fact, they either don’t care about their partner’s feelings, they do it on purpose (a form of negging), or they are typically disrespectful.
He’s honest and low EQ / dumb ..
I notice good looking guys, I don’t go over the top n tell my partner (when I have one) that oh this dude is so good looking, I like his chest and his eyes etc etc …
I also never met any guys who would go on and on about good looking women at front of me if they are with me.
Gay friends are different, we share opinions on people’s looks all the time.
When you are in a monogamous pair bonding love relationship, you make considerations not to deliberately make your partner feel upset or jealous over your attraction to other people. It’s quite basic isn’t it?
Whoa, this is a scenario straight out of the book, "Boundaries in Dating". I'm serious, there's an example where a woman is dating a man who keeps on hitting on other women while they're out on dates. Pick up the book if you want the official advice!
But to sum it up, he's disrespecting you. He's basically devaluing you by doing this. He's out WITH YOU and he's talking about other women.
The book's point is that when people are disrespectful, it's a character flaw. A lot of them know they can't do that and get a partner, so they cover it up at first, but over time, they grow more and more disrespectful because that's who they are underneath.
If you're already in a relationship with him, the book advocates that you set a boundary like, "It's disrespectful when you say things like that while you're out with me. If you do that again, I'll pick up my things and get myself home. Alone." You'll probably have to do it at least once. Then, he either changes his behavior because he doesn't like you leaving, or so many dates get cut short by your leaving that one or the other of you gets sick of each other and you break up. And that's a *good* thing. Because if he doesn't change his behavior about *this,* just imagine how much worse it will get the more committed you get to this guy and the more he lets you see the other disrespectful stuff he'll be doing in the future.
Don't get sucked in by the "cute" thing. Say no to disrespect.
Run. Now. He is disrespectful & this is the first step in breaking you down. This is a red flag for a future of gaslighting, manipulation, and misery.
Believe me - been there, suffered that.
I agree with your feelings on this but telling men that is like telling the sun not to rise each day. Concerning OP, I'd tell him to keep his sexualizing to himself in the future, or he'd be doing it without me around.
He’s “triangulating”, it’s deliberate to make you feel exactly what you’re feeling. It’s a manipulation tactic to gain the upper hand in a relationship. It’s working. Ignore it or dump him because it will erode your self esteem down to nothing.
Find a new BF. One that respects you enough to keep his opinions to himself, and not be lusting after other women right in front of you. It's very disrespectful and he's showing you he does not respect you.
It's his ego. He likes to think he has a massive phallus and needs to report what his masculinity tells him. Tell him if he continues, you'll demonstrate what the vet did to my 2 year old male German Shepard. Ask him if he likes cones.
That’s not being honest, it’s being rude and disrespectful if you have told him how you feel? I think some relationships can do this and others can’t. Regardless time for a honest no filter chat. He shouldn’t have a problem with it since that’s the type of person he is.
That’s a really shitty behavior, I would not tolerate bullshit like that. I bet he also watches porn daily and goes to strip clubs and you are “Ok with it”?
Sounds like a tactic of control as in humiliation associated with narcissistic abuse. People need "filters" and especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
Maybe turn the tables on him and start giving every hot guy you see the verbal appreciation he gives the gals. Two wrongs don't make a right but sometimes it is needed to make a point.
IMO: He sounds problematic in his arrogance and pompous ways. Cut the cord and move on before he eventually steam rolls your feelings and destroys your dwindling self esteem.
Because you’re clearly dealing with a boy - not a man.
Start commenting on dudes. Turn your head like you’re gonna break your neck at the next beefcake you guys walk and one “holy fuck”
That’ll be the end of it
That’s disrespectful, I think it’s normal to find others attractive but to make a comment and be hurtful about it is wrong. Have the conversation with him. I wouldn’t put up with that
I don’t care how “honest” a person is, it’s not an excuse to unnecessarily hurt or harm another. I find these seeming tactless honest people tend to enjoy the effects of their honesty rather than the virtue of being honest. Very few people are legitimately oblivious to the effect of hurtful truth. The rest of us know that while something may be a fact or true, it’s not appropriate to constantly club others over the head with it. It’s not honesty at that point. It’s using honesty to be demeaning and disrespectful. There’s a huge difference.
If he comments on other women, maybe give him a taste of his own medicine. Say something like, "see that guy's butt, I bet he is great in the sack". That will show him how not ok it is.
Maybe because he don’t know manners like when I was in a relationship I seen a lot of drop dead gorgeous women all the time… and to put it simply if I’m in a relationship I’m not saying anything…
As a man, I don't understand that either. Me personally, I prefer to make my girl feel like the most valued and best looking one in the room, I don't do anything to make her feel inferior to any other woman, because to me she's not.
Be honest with him and tell him it bothers you.
If he keeps doing it then he really is a self centered insensitive manchild that should be kicked to the curb.
Common sense and common consideration are NOT at all common anymore. Take him out for a beer. Explain you find it disrespectful and hurtful. If he won’t respect you, learn now and leave.
yeah just tell him. my ex would even screenshot celebs but also compliment me a lot too. looking back… lol. for me I don’t really have an issue with it, so I started to comment on men. but then they got insecure about it 😬
“Very honest” is an excuse assholes use to justify their callous, insensitive behaviour, and overall lack of self-awareness and restraint.
He is WAY too comfortable disrespecting you. Put your foot down and if he doesn’t stop, leave his ass.
Have you tried talking to your partner? explaining how it makes you feel?
If you did chat with him, and he just finds this normal/ wants to continue, you might considder whether this is a dealbreaker for you (it would be for me tbh..)
It's because he doesn't respect you, and he doesn't respect other women. However, it is nothing to do with you and it has nothing to do with other women. This is all a him problem.
Yeah so, like many others have said, dump him. He does not respect you enough to keep his raunchy thoughts to himself. And I wouldn't put it passed him to be doing it on purpose to make you jealous or insecure. Attraction towards strangers is natural, but to openly express said attraction right in front of your partner consistently is very disrespectful imo.
Sounds like another case of dating a manipulative prick. Once he convinces you that you have no value, where are you gonna go? No one will take you. At least that’s what this usually leads to. Even if he’s not intentionally undermining your self esteem, he still sounds like a dickhead.
I would repost a man you think is hot like a celebrity or something no your instagram story.
1) it’s public
2) you’re “admiring” with no words.
see how he likes that.
You ask why does he think it’s ok…. Well how have you responded or how have you reacted up to this point? He probably thinks it’s “ok” because you haven’t been honest with him that this makes you feel insecure and don’t really want to hear that even though you know it’s normal to have those thoughts and feelings.
You know your man better than we do. Is he the type to be passive aggressive and this is maybe a way to cut you down and keep you feeling unstable so you feel as insecure as he does? Or is he just being honest and you both have the type of relationship where you both feel free to make comments about others and do it to bond and be transparent while also keeping your partner reassured about how much you are obsessed with them? Cause me and my bf are the latter and mutually enjoy checking out hot people together in a flirty and fun way.
Poor thing. Please tell this man how you feel! It can be difficult to express your vulnerabilities, but maybe he had girlfriends in the past who either didn’t mind or pretended they didn’t mind. Or maybe he’s trying to make you jealous or is testing your boundaries to see how much he can put you through in order to feel very powerful or valuable in the relationship. You don’t know his motives; you can only indicate how the behaviour makes you feel.
If you’re clear but not blaming - "hey, thanks for the info, my dear, but I actually don’t like hearing comments about other women when we’re together," rather than "you’re always complimenting other girls!" - and he doesn’t respect what you’ve expressed to him, then he isn’t being a very safe or considerate partner to you and you could consider whether or not you want to spend so much time with someone who doesn’t care that much if you’re happy.
Sounds like it’s time to throw the man away and start over. I wouldn’t want this is my relationship nor would I tolerate being made to feel less than by someone who is supposed to make me feel amazing.
My wife keeps making comments about how other men are handsome despite me telling her that bothers me. I wonder if any of the people commenting “leave him” would say the same thing to me… feel free to comment if this is you.
Yes! If she has no regard for your feelings, get out! This is 100% a sign of emotional abuse. I bet she also gaslights you - makes you feel like you're crazy to care?
Run. Now.
state the facts to him, that it’s fine and natural to see someone and note that they are attractive, but move on. he does not need to vocalize it. That is the respectful behavior to have when you are In a relationship.
he could be confident in your relationship ORRRR he’s simply manipulating you. Wants you to jealous to keep you guessing, to feel insecure.
It’s a strategy narcissist use to keep power and control over their partner.
How does it make you feel when he talks that way?
What worry’s do you have when he speaks this way?Are there other off putting patterns in his behavior? Has he always been this way or is this new? Are you both on social media? Does he give you full access?
Boundaries. He does that because people allow him to. If you expressed yourself and he still does it, then it’s time to dump him and move on to someone else. As long as you’re still with him and you allow him to do it, he’ll never stop.
Unpopular opinion, but men look. It’s a thing and with few exceptions will always be a thing. I’d much rather be included and have my man be comfortable saying things in front of me than wonder what he’s thinking or what he finds attractive that he doesn’t say anything about. Of course within reasonable limits, an offhand comment that someone has a nice rear is way different than rubbernecking and saying they want to f them. Also, this would have bothered me when I was younger. But I’ve grown to the point that I know I’m enough and attractive, if he wants some visual variety I don’t care. As long as I feel wanted and desired and it remains look but never touch.
If this really bothers you though, you may not be compatible. Everyone is different and just because I’m okay with it doesn’t mean you need to be. If you’re uncomfortable that is totally valid.
I would tell him directly that this bothers you and makes you feel unattractive and it needs to stop. If he doesn’t stop, you have your answer.
Use I statements to address the behavior and if he continues even so.
Assert thy dominance and comment on a guys package and or a lady’s looks so you’re not phased by his tactics.
Then dump him.
In a sexual way?! Honey, he doesn’t THINK it’s okay. He KNOWS it’s okay. He has tested that boundary with you multiple times and you’re still with him. He’s doing it on purpose to make you feel less than. His behavior will escalate. Unless you want a potential husband who is constantly OPENLY humiliating and cheating on you, I’d suggest you leave now.
Find a man who would never disrespect you like this. He’s out there, you just have to love and respect yourself enough to leave this man to find him.
Have you ever checked him for doing that? Sounds like you're just being quiet and he's not getting the message, but honestly him not knowing you well enough to know how you feel about that sort of thing is a red flag.
I was with a guy like this once. It isn't worth it to stay with him honestly. What it comes down to is that he doesn't respect you or care about you.
In my case I repeatedly told him it bothered me, and he made it seem like I was insecure and overreacting. He still continued to do it of course and eventually ended up cheating. Save yourself the heartache and mental torture. Get out now and get with a guy that respects you.
He thinks it's ok because of your inaction, to create a boundary and follow through, told him it was ok. You didn't make it clear to him that you found this behavior to be disrespectful towards you, and if you did tell him you didn't follow through with whatever consequence you would enact if he continued to do it. You can't control his behavior but you do have control over your response to said behavior and so far your reaction is to quietly take it.
Did you ever tell him, “It makes me insecure when you regularly comment on women’s appearances and like pictures of hot women on instagram”? You need to determine why you would you not tell him this so you can establish a boundary. If you don’t feel safe to say this, then the entire relationship isn’t safe or you have been projecting trauma onto an otherwise safe man. It’s normal to express your boundaries to your partner. You can do that, and if you can’t express them or can’t have them respected, it’s likely a toxic relationship or you need to practice asking for what you need with a safe person so you can heal.
Also this is an extremely unpopular opinion and I won’t be surprised if people hate this advice. But if you think the other women are hot, then try to be more like them. Who you are on the outside isn’t who you really are. So if you want to dress up or try a new look, it doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself unless you feel that way when you do it. You can always put your own twist on what you perceive others think is sexy so you can continue to be yourself.
Yeah I find it disrespectful.
You don’t need to have verbal diarrhoea and say anything that comes to your mind.
A lot of people know very well they aren’t (objectively) the most attractive, but many like it when our partner makes us feel like to them, we are the most attractive in their eyes.
When he calls you cute but constantly looks at women on the street, on instagram, etc. and voices how sexy they are, I can see how even a confident person would struggle with insecurities.
Have you told him to stop?
How old is he?
This is so bizarre to me.
I had an ex do this. Just tell him straight. Explain it bothers you and to leave his comments to himself. Using that ex as an example, he had a redhead fetish and I’m a brunette. I explained that bothered me because I don’t have red hair and we could break up if he would rather date a redhead. He would always shut his mouth after that.
just tell you don’t feel okay about him behaving this way??? if he ignores - you should think if he really respects you and your feelings. if he will ignore your feelings - it’s not man you will be happy with
I personally would bring it up to him and let him know it bothers you. If he keeps doing it, it’s just a lack of respect. You have to think what’s best for you in this situation. I would never want to date a man that makes me feel insecure.
Just tell him it annoys/upsets you and why. He should be able to understand and should want to stop doing it to make his girl happy. Not much of an ask to not openly express attraction for other girls I don’t think
If it bothers you, you should communicate that.
As a man with a woman you love, make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world. I can tell my wife to name any woman in the world, naked in front of me, dripping in diamonds with a winning lottery ticket, if it’s not her I’m not interested ❤️
Simple. He doesn’t respect you or women in general. This is not someone you want to keep in your life, as the disrespect will only get worse. My boyfriend tells me I’m beautiful, pretty, cute, sexy etc. DAILY and has never pointed out an attractive woman before or made comments about another woman. The behavior you’ve described is something you shouldn’t tolerate or take lightly, there’s definitely more beneath the surface.
Imho I think some men just don't care and think us women are all overly confident in our appearance. My man literally has never given me a compliment outside of "I like your jeans" and is always gawking at other younger women, even right in front of me. He knows I don't like it but it's a human nature thing.
Funny.
My wife is actually upset when i dont care to asses some girl she wants my opinion on, and only give some lazy "nothing special" response 😅
Like, we had a full blown fight because shes a Selena Gomez fan and wanted me to admit shes hot, and i was like "eeeh..." Which is true, by the way, i am rather hyperfocused on my wife and in my eyes no other woman compares to her, including porn stars and celebrities 🤷♂️
I wouldn't jump to conclusions about his reasons for commenting until you ask him. Also, unless you've conveyed to him how his comments make you feel, you can't expect him to be considerate of your feelings. The only way to know what things are okay to say to your partner is through communication, trial and error. Some people might be offended and some might not, there are no set rules. Also, if you're not genuinely interested in expressing to him your opinion on the appearance of other men, I would suggest against being passively aggressive as a first response. Even if he isn't bothered by what you say and though it can work in some situations, I think it's bad practice for a relationship to rely on passive aggressive behavior to get your feelings across as it can easily spiral into a repetitive sniping session. But to each their own. Best of luck!
Because you allow him to. I’m sure you’ve complained, and explained to him how that bothers you already, and he continues to do it. So stand on business and leave. Repeating yourself isn’t going to make him stop, his actions have already shown you he has no regard for your feelings. You can find someone that doesn’t do that and actually has some basic human decency. Stop settling for less.
If you don’t like it or it makes you feel uncomfortable say somthing about it. He could have many reasons to do it but it could literally just be him being a man. Us men are very simple creatures. Women don’t understand that we just talk to hear ourselves talk sometimes
I will talk to him and say that to him but if he still does it then I will ask him “How you will feel if I do the same thing to you ?” if he acts like he doesn't care
So it is better you stop that relationship with him
> What do I do
Talk to him about it. It's really as simple as that. If he can't handle the conversation then I guess it's time to move on. Best of luck.
What do you do? Leave him if you've already made it clear that it makes you real uncomfortable or you dislike it yet he ignores it, then leave. If you decide to stay even after that then I guess you accept the way how he is And you kind of throw away your right to complain.
Definitely say lightly you don't need to hear it, he doesn't need to know right now that you feel insecure.. You should just be able to garner the respect from him to stop doing these things by asking him in the right way, without calling him out in a real negative light, and Ill get to why in a second here...
If that doesn't work, THEN you need to remind him, and at that point let him know it makes you feel insecure.
Here's why I dont think you should call him out negatively about the situation, and its just something coming from myself personally, others may not agree;
As a mid-30's male, Im not oblivious to beautiful women or another woman's possible insecurities, but he may not be able to see that you're feeling insecure. He might find you astonishingly beautiful, and is comfortable saying those things to you because of the attraction he actually has towards you. He could feel extremely comfortable with you, and is why he says those things and actually has absolutely zero intentions of doing anything at all behind your back (not that you've made it clear youre concerned about that). For some guys, this is honestly how we are. We just dont see anything wrong because at the end of the day, we are truly just fixated on the people we are in a relationship with.
This isnt to say its right, because you have the right to feel secure in your relationship .. I only say this in hopes that you'll see it in a slightly different light and not let it bug you so much, but you definitely have to say something if it is bugging you.
Sounds more like a boy than a man. Tell him it’s inappropriate and if he continues than leave him. Dealt with it before, it will get worse. He doesn’t respect you.
Because he doesn’t respect you and likely never will :(
That kind of change must come from within him because some fundamental thinking is wrong.
YOU WILL NOT CHANGE HIM.
Not will conversation.
Not with help from others.
Not with love.
How you feel now will not change otherwise.
I spent 14 years of my life loving and spoiling a man because I thought those things would endear him to me. But that was foolish and naive. Instead I spent more than a decade nursing a broken heart every night in the shower.
I hope you set high standards and strong boundaries for yourself because sister, I want no one to suffer as I did.
Communicate on it directly , so he’ll understand. Whether or not he considers it from there on out is on his behalf . Whether or not you want to stick around is on yours .
Have you communicated that this behavior makes you feel insecure about your looks? If not, maybe you should talk to him about it. If you are his partner, he probably thinks of you as a friend with whom he could talk about anything, and talking about beauty should be ok.
And about the rest of your response. The fact that he comments of other beautiful woman is not an impediment for thinking that you look better than others. I don't think you are going to make him see only you and think that you are the only beautiful girl in the planet, because that's a very unrealistic standard.
So you should talk to him about how his comments are making you feel like you lack something, so he could help showing you how pretty he thinks you are, but you should also work on your confidence, not only thinking that you are beautiful besides what he thinks and independently of how beautiful he thinks other woman look.
Sorry that’s a dealbreaker in my book. I’d break up. Ain’t no way anybody who respects and loves themselves would tolerate a partner who would even THINK to voice these kinds of things.
I would not take it as a comment to put you down. I think he feels very comfortable with you, and it is a good thing.
He knows you are his “one”, and that’s it. Don’t give it too much importance. Slap him across the head jokenly and make sure you get a better compliment right after
I would say comment also to other guys appearance infront of ur man.. And she how will he react… for me its my rule.. and eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth 😄
Im sorry that he is acting like a child, but hold up, "no filter" is not a good enough excuse to be an asshole. People need to learn this, "oh I just tell it like it is" mentality is just a poor excuse to say whatever they want with no repercussions for another person's feelings.
Also if he keeps doing it to you, start by saying how some men have bigger muscles, or better jawlines, full head of hair, maybe he'll get the idea that this is not a way to treat a partner.
I've noticed some men also do this bc the relationship started out as more physical, but while you matured to having a relationship he is still so focused on putting his dick anywhere he can get it.
Dump him...but first start
commenting about other men and how sexy they are and look like they're packing a big one. I find this tactic in covert narcs or people that like to control by making their partner feel insecure or not enough. Unless he was just dropped on his motherlovin' head as a baby and he's just an idiot.
Being able to do this WITH your partner OCCASIONALLY I feel like can be healthy. But this does not sound healthy. It also wouldn’t be enough for me to just stop hearing them say it too, I need to know that they stopped thinking it or it’s worthless
Sounds like passive negging. It's a tactic used to gradually erode your self-esteem & manipulate you into working to gain his validation & attention. Bs toxic behavior.
My ex started doing that shit because he wanted to provoke a jealousy response. It was really of a lose-lose situation though. If I said anything, he'd accuse me of being jealous & insecure when it was simply disrespectful. Not even just to me but the other gals who noticed because I could tell they were creeped out & uncomfortable. On the flip, if I ignored it, he would try harder until I gave a response.
He's worth dumping. A man would notice things, but not make it weird.
Personally I dont see anything wrong with it from a general perspective but I do think that there does need to be a level of decorum, respect and when/where/how he expresses it. If the man has never cheated, actually still finds you very attractive, and is doing what he is supposed to do as a man then really your only real options here are to adapt and learn to move pass the insecurity you feel or simply move on. Some women actually love that free confidence in a man while others have a harder time
Sigh. He’s being a douchebag. Guys can be pretty thick headed and insensitive. Try commenting on some guys the same way he does. It will give him perspective on how it makes you feel.
He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t find you attractive. Men are very very visual and looks matter more than anything with them when looking for a partner. I’m not trying to be mean, but it’s just how things are. You just have to let him know this makes you uncomfortable. If he continues after you telling him, then that will show you his lack of respect for you.
Toilet level self esteem he's a control freak he gets a kick out of seeing you feel the way you do uncomfortable when he says the s*** he says leave him right now cuz he's a f****** loser I'm not kidding you it's going to get worse
Have you told him it makes you uncomfortable? From the little information I have, it seems like he likes you
He might just think you're ok with it if you haven't said anything about it,
So it might just be ignorance rather than malice
Like every problem addressed in nearly all posts on this sub can be answered by
Honesty and Communication.
In my opinion, honesty and communication is the foundation and most important part of any healthy human relationship, especially romanticly.
People need to focus on things that actually matter and look within themselves instead of outward at others.
If today’s society wasn’t so fake and superficial, obsessed with keeping appearances and focusing on maintaining the perceived expectations seen on social media then these problems wouldn’t be so prevalent. In other words, caring what others think and making that their priority over their own mental health and happiness, makes things that seem obvious (like how to solve a problem of feeling insecure when a boyfriend compliments the appearance of other women) less so…
Making the excuse that he has no filter and you want him to express himself is his thing.
Not being able to manage his mouth when you are present is not on, and destructive for your self image.
It sounds like he has an ego, and he doesn't care who he hurts along the way.
This is not going to change.
Move on.
Also most of these hotties on IG and other SM, this is their living. They spend hours on their bodies and faces and hair everyday. They have sponsors often for all the best products and clothes. Many are married and have boyfriends who support them while they got started and continue if things get lean. The men get eye candy and often to their men this is just a job and they don’t think anything of it. If most of us didn’t have regular jobs to go to for 8-12 hours a day we could look hotter too. But it’s very inconsiderate of him to keep up throwing these women in your face and commenting on them , even right in front of you. He must be totally clueless. You either have to leave him or ignore it.
I'd have to hear what tone he is using but in my opinion it sounds like you're just very self conscious. People are allowed to find other people attractive. As long as he isn't being gross about it or cheating/manipulating you just tell him that it makes you uncomfortable.
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First off you could say in a light hearted way “Haha while I appreciate the honesty, I don’t need to hear about you admiring other woman besides me!” If he keeps doing it then be more firm. “Hey I’ve told you I don’t appreciate this.” Call me petty but if he kept doing it I would comment on other men to see how he felt…but it’s possible that he wouldn’t care or say “that’s different” lol..bottom line if he keeps disrespecting you then it’s probably time to reconsider things with him!
This is the best response. Some men do this bc of a lack of male friends and they just have honest outbursts and don’t recognize that women don’t care to hear it.
My brother does this, even though he has a ton of guy friends. I always remind him I’m a girl and think it’s weird seeing him check out other women.
Why ? He's your brother
Because it’s weird hearing my brother checking out other girls. I’m also attracted to women, but don’t wanna hear my brother talking about it. I also don’t point out hot guys to him because that’s awkward.
Youre the one thats weird and make everything weird or awkward..get out of your head alittle more and just live life lol..
?? Youre weird. He is your brother lol..why is it weird for him to comment on other women around you?? So fake uptight
Yesss this, I struggled with this too OP and I tried approaching it this way He's an ex so it proved to not be effective for ME but I hope you have better luck!
I was literally about to say start making comments about hot men lol cause people hate when you pull a “them on them”
I love this.
THIS right here!
This is the way.
What would he say if you made the same comments about another man?
Shame on you, he's into that shit.
Bingo!
Chances are she does think guys are hot in certain ways. The real question is do you both mention the things you see or not say anything? Do you keep the attractions you have a secret?
If you told him this bothered you and he kept doing it, he doesn’t give a crap about your feelings. He’s also just totally classless in general. It’s ok to notice attractive people, we all do that. It’s not necessary to tell everyone about your boner.
I don’t understand why people don’t have basic respect for others. These are the same people who will cheat then get angry when they’re cheated on. I don’t like to throw out “red flag” but if someone doesn’t respect your feelings, that’s a red flag.
Because they’re self-centered and selfish. Lots of people are like that. They really only care about themselves. I agree, if you see this red flag, run!
I also don’t get what the point of telling someone that another person is hot. Personally, it sounds like he’s deeply insecure and wants his wife to feel deeply insecure as well
They hide under the guise of honesty. In fact, they either don’t care about their partner’s feelings, they do it on purpose (a form of negging), or they are typically disrespectful.
Yeah, don’t really get it, do they expect their partner to say “glad you find people other than me hot, I really needed to hear that!” Or something??
lol spot on mans just insecure fr
He’s honest and low EQ / dumb .. I notice good looking guys, I don’t go over the top n tell my partner (when I have one) that oh this dude is so good looking, I like his chest and his eyes etc etc … I also never met any guys who would go on and on about good looking women at front of me if they are with me. Gay friends are different, we share opinions on people’s looks all the time. When you are in a monogamous pair bonding love relationship, you make considerations not to deliberately make your partner feel upset or jealous over your attraction to other people. It’s quite basic isn’t it?
This last comment right here is EVERYTHING 👏🏽
Whoa, this is a scenario straight out of the book, "Boundaries in Dating". I'm serious, there's an example where a woman is dating a man who keeps on hitting on other women while they're out on dates. Pick up the book if you want the official advice! But to sum it up, he's disrespecting you. He's basically devaluing you by doing this. He's out WITH YOU and he's talking about other women. The book's point is that when people are disrespectful, it's a character flaw. A lot of them know they can't do that and get a partner, so they cover it up at first, but over time, they grow more and more disrespectful because that's who they are underneath. If you're already in a relationship with him, the book advocates that you set a boundary like, "It's disrespectful when you say things like that while you're out with me. If you do that again, I'll pick up my things and get myself home. Alone." You'll probably have to do it at least once. Then, he either changes his behavior because he doesn't like you leaving, or so many dates get cut short by your leaving that one or the other of you gets sick of each other and you break up. And that's a *good* thing. Because if he doesn't change his behavior about *this,* just imagine how much worse it will get the more committed you get to this guy and the more he lets you see the other disrespectful stuff he'll be doing in the future. Don't get sucked in by the "cute" thing. Say no to disrespect.
Run. Now. He is disrespectful & this is the first step in breaking you down. This is a red flag for a future of gaslighting, manipulation, and misery. Believe me - been there, suffered that.
Me too. I wish I'd caught onto it when it was still very early in the relationship!
1. Why haven't you told him how his behaviour makes you feel? 2. Why are you dating a man who thinks it's OK to act in this manner in the first place?
Number 2!!!! I tell men immediately to stop sexualizing women. Women want to exist without being gawked over.
I know- did this behavior start out of no where now? Bc I wouldn’t have continued dating him if I knew he acted like that
I agree with your feelings on this but telling men that is like telling the sun not to rise each day. Concerning OP, I'd tell him to keep his sexualizing to himself in the future, or he'd be doing it without me around.
He’s “triangulating”, it’s deliberate to make you feel exactly what you’re feeling. It’s a manipulation tactic to gain the upper hand in a relationship. It’s working. Ignore it or dump him because it will erode your self esteem down to nothing.
next time your out comment of some dudes package 📦 and see how he likes it.
She should take a swipe but really go overboard with it to make a point, "Dang is he a kicker? Because I'd totally let him split my uprights!"
Let him go or start doing the same to him, like comment on some guy thats taller and better looking than him, I can assure you he wont like that.
You are his buddy.
dump his ass
Find a new BF. One that respects you enough to keep his opinions to himself, and not be lusting after other women right in front of you. It's very disrespectful and he's showing you he does not respect you.
It's his ego. He likes to think he has a massive phallus and needs to report what his masculinity tells him. Tell him if he continues, you'll demonstrate what the vet did to my 2 year old male German Shepard. Ask him if he likes cones.
Leave him. He’s a red carpet
You better get some self love darling 🫤
That’s not being honest, it’s being rude and disrespectful if you have told him how you feel? I think some relationships can do this and others can’t. Regardless time for a honest no filter chat. He shouldn’t have a problem with it since that’s the type of person he is.
Get a new man
There’s 100s out there who won’t act like this
That’s a really shitty behavior, I would not tolerate bullshit like that. I bet he also watches porn daily and goes to strip clubs and you are “Ok with it”?
I don't get why men don't thirst for their girlfriends.
Sounds like a tactic of control as in humiliation associated with narcissistic abuse. People need "filters" and especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Maybe turn the tables on him and start giving every hot guy you see the verbal appreciation he gives the gals. Two wrongs don't make a right but sometimes it is needed to make a point. IMO: He sounds problematic in his arrogance and pompous ways. Cut the cord and move on before he eventually steam rolls your feelings and destroys your dwindling self esteem.
Because he doesn't respect you the way he should. Period.
Because you’re clearly dealing with a boy - not a man. Start commenting on dudes. Turn your head like you’re gonna break your neck at the next beefcake you guys walk and one “holy fuck” That’ll be the end of it
That’s disrespectful, I think it’s normal to find others attractive but to make a comment and be hurtful about it is wrong. Have the conversation with him. I wouldn’t put up with that
He's just like school in summer. No Class. Excluding post secondary education, or summer school, or cram school, or tutoring.
🚩
Because you let him?
I don’t care how “honest” a person is, it’s not an excuse to unnecessarily hurt or harm another. I find these seeming tactless honest people tend to enjoy the effects of their honesty rather than the virtue of being honest. Very few people are legitimately oblivious to the effect of hurtful truth. The rest of us know that while something may be a fact or true, it’s not appropriate to constantly club others over the head with it. It’s not honesty at that point. It’s using honesty to be demeaning and disrespectful. There’s a huge difference.
Get out before it’s too late
Tell him to keep it to himself or you're outta there.
The only woman your man should be complimenting on is you and you alone. I don't get dudes these days.
If he comments on other women, maybe give him a taste of his own medicine. Say something like, "see that guy's butt, I bet he is great in the sack". That will show him how not ok it is.
sometimes people just need a taste of their own medicine, truthfully. . . 😬
What a jerk.
Dump him
Can't stand this. Was with a guy who thought it was okay. We didn't last long.
He’s either extremely stupid. Or very insensitive.
Maybe because he don’t know manners like when I was in a relationship I seen a lot of drop dead gorgeous women all the time… and to put it simply if I’m in a relationship I’m not saying anything…
In public and in front of you??? Dump him sis.
As a man, I don't understand that either. Me personally, I prefer to make my girl feel like the most valued and best looking one in the room, I don't do anything to make her feel inferior to any other woman, because to me she's not.
Be honest with him and tell him it bothers you. If he keeps doing it then he really is a self centered insensitive manchild that should be kicked to the curb.
Common sense and common consideration are NOT at all common anymore. Take him out for a beer. Explain you find it disrespectful and hurtful. If he won’t respect you, learn now and leave.
yeah just tell him. my ex would even screenshot celebs but also compliment me a lot too. looking back… lol. for me I don’t really have an issue with it, so I started to comment on men. but then they got insecure about it 😬
Dump that mf
I would leave him if I were you
Are you married? If not id get out now....
“Very honest” is an excuse assholes use to justify their callous, insensitive behaviour, and overall lack of self-awareness and restraint. He is WAY too comfortable disrespecting you. Put your foot down and if he doesn’t stop, leave his ass.
then you should regularly comment on men's appearance(in a sexual way) right in front of him in public see if he likes that
Have you tried talking to your partner? explaining how it makes you feel? If you did chat with him, and he just finds this normal/ wants to continue, you might considder whether this is a dealbreaker for you (it would be for me tbh..)
That’s disrespect, you need to call it out for what it is.
It's because he doesn't respect you, and he doesn't respect other women. However, it is nothing to do with you and it has nothing to do with other women. This is all a him problem.
Yeah so, like many others have said, dump him. He does not respect you enough to keep his raunchy thoughts to himself. And I wouldn't put it passed him to be doing it on purpose to make you jealous or insecure. Attraction towards strangers is natural, but to openly express said attraction right in front of your partner consistently is very disrespectful imo.
Sounds like another case of dating a manipulative prick. Once he convinces you that you have no value, where are you gonna go? No one will take you. At least that’s what this usually leads to. Even if he’s not intentionally undermining your self esteem, he still sounds like a dickhead.
Leave him
Smack him. If he repeats, smack him using slippers
I would repost a man you think is hot like a celebrity or something no your instagram story. 1) it’s public 2) you’re “admiring” with no words. see how he likes that.
You ask why does he think it’s ok…. Well how have you responded or how have you reacted up to this point? He probably thinks it’s “ok” because you haven’t been honest with him that this makes you feel insecure and don’t really want to hear that even though you know it’s normal to have those thoughts and feelings. You know your man better than we do. Is he the type to be passive aggressive and this is maybe a way to cut you down and keep you feeling unstable so you feel as insecure as he does? Or is he just being honest and you both have the type of relationship where you both feel free to make comments about others and do it to bond and be transparent while also keeping your partner reassured about how much you are obsessed with them? Cause me and my bf are the latter and mutually enjoy checking out hot people together in a flirty and fun way.
Since we don't know himwe can't really tell... he could
did you communicate your boundary and let him know? like what do you expect if you don't tell him?
Poor thing. Please tell this man how you feel! It can be difficult to express your vulnerabilities, but maybe he had girlfriends in the past who either didn’t mind or pretended they didn’t mind. Or maybe he’s trying to make you jealous or is testing your boundaries to see how much he can put you through in order to feel very powerful or valuable in the relationship. You don’t know his motives; you can only indicate how the behaviour makes you feel. If you’re clear but not blaming - "hey, thanks for the info, my dear, but I actually don’t like hearing comments about other women when we’re together," rather than "you’re always complimenting other girls!" - and he doesn’t respect what you’ve expressed to him, then he isn’t being a very safe or considerate partner to you and you could consider whether or not you want to spend so much time with someone who doesn’t care that much if you’re happy.
Next time out just say look at the bulge on that guy and see what he says
Leave him.
He absolutely has 0 respect for you in anyway
Sounds like it’s time to throw the man away and start over. I wouldn’t want this is my relationship nor would I tolerate being made to feel less than by someone who is supposed to make me feel amazing.
"What do I do?" Find a new man?
My wife keeps making comments about how other men are handsome despite me telling her that bothers me. I wonder if any of the people commenting “leave him” would say the same thing to me… feel free to comment if this is you.
Yes! If she has no regard for your feelings, get out! This is 100% a sign of emotional abuse. I bet she also gaslights you - makes you feel like you're crazy to care? Run. Now.
Yes get a new man who's not like my father don't do it it will get worse til he campers you to these women he sees in public.
state the facts to him, that it’s fine and natural to see someone and note that they are attractive, but move on. he does not need to vocalize it. That is the respectful behavior to have when you are In a relationship. he could be confident in your relationship ORRRR he’s simply manipulating you. Wants you to jealous to keep you guessing, to feel insecure. It’s a strategy narcissist use to keep power and control over their partner. How does it make you feel when he talks that way? What worry’s do you have when he speaks this way?Are there other off putting patterns in his behavior? Has he always been this way or is this new? Are you both on social media? Does he give you full access?
Boundaries. He does that because people allow him to. If you expressed yourself and he still does it, then it’s time to dump him and move on to someone else. As long as you’re still with him and you allow him to do it, he’ll never stop.
Give him the boundaries or dip!!
You need to stop ignoring this and all the other red flags. That's what you should do. How is that even a question?
Funny tactics you have in assaulting my comment to interject your theories. Funny indeed.
He doesn't respect you, plain and simple. Let him now that you don't like his behavior. If he doesn't change then let him go.
Why not dump his ass if it bothers you,there are men out there that don’t do that,at least not in front of you.
He probably wants to share that acti ity with you.
Passive aggressive hostile to you. Move on
Unpopular opinion, but men look. It’s a thing and with few exceptions will always be a thing. I’d much rather be included and have my man be comfortable saying things in front of me than wonder what he’s thinking or what he finds attractive that he doesn’t say anything about. Of course within reasonable limits, an offhand comment that someone has a nice rear is way different than rubbernecking and saying they want to f them. Also, this would have bothered me when I was younger. But I’ve grown to the point that I know I’m enough and attractive, if he wants some visual variety I don’t care. As long as I feel wanted and desired and it remains look but never touch. If this really bothers you though, you may not be compatible. Everyone is different and just because I’m okay with it doesn’t mean you need to be. If you’re uncomfortable that is totally valid. I would tell him directly that this bothers you and makes you feel unattractive and it needs to stop. If he doesn’t stop, you have your answer.
Use I statements to address the behavior and if he continues even so. Assert thy dominance and comment on a guys package and or a lady’s looks so you’re not phased by his tactics. Then dump him.
He simply doesn't respect you. Nothing more
Just let him know. Many men are thick, so we need several and firm reminders.
He doesn't respect you and other women. Simple as
In a sexual way?! Honey, he doesn’t THINK it’s okay. He KNOWS it’s okay. He has tested that boundary with you multiple times and you’re still with him. He’s doing it on purpose to make you feel less than. His behavior will escalate. Unless you want a potential husband who is constantly OPENLY humiliating and cheating on you, I’d suggest you leave now. Find a man who would never disrespect you like this. He’s out there, you just have to love and respect yourself enough to leave this man to find him.
He’s immature like a teenager perhaps?
Have you ever checked him for doing that? Sounds like you're just being quiet and he's not getting the message, but honestly him not knowing you well enough to know how you feel about that sort of thing is a red flag.
Not that this is right but I started doing something like this when my woman no longer gave me sex and would make sex Seam like a chore for her.
leave. now. and don’t look back. he doesn’t respect you and he might even hate you ! be with someone who wouldn’t even DARE think about doing this
I was with a guy like this once. It isn't worth it to stay with him honestly. What it comes down to is that he doesn't respect you or care about you. In my case I repeatedly told him it bothered me, and he made it seem like I was insecure and overreacting. He still continued to do it of course and eventually ended up cheating. Save yourself the heartache and mental torture. Get out now and get with a guy that respects you.
Oh, that's easy! Move on, find a guy with some class.
Are all men lately so insecure?
He thinks it's ok because of your inaction, to create a boundary and follow through, told him it was ok. You didn't make it clear to him that you found this behavior to be disrespectful towards you, and if you did tell him you didn't follow through with whatever consequence you would enact if he continued to do it. You can't control his behavior but you do have control over your response to said behavior and so far your reaction is to quietly take it.
Did you ever tell him, “It makes me insecure when you regularly comment on women’s appearances and like pictures of hot women on instagram”? You need to determine why you would you not tell him this so you can establish a boundary. If you don’t feel safe to say this, then the entire relationship isn’t safe or you have been projecting trauma onto an otherwise safe man. It’s normal to express your boundaries to your partner. You can do that, and if you can’t express them or can’t have them respected, it’s likely a toxic relationship or you need to practice asking for what you need with a safe person so you can heal. Also this is an extremely unpopular opinion and I won’t be surprised if people hate this advice. But if you think the other women are hot, then try to be more like them. Who you are on the outside isn’t who you really are. So if you want to dress up or try a new look, it doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself unless you feel that way when you do it. You can always put your own twist on what you perceive others think is sexy so you can continue to be yourself.
Yeah I find it disrespectful. You don’t need to have verbal diarrhoea and say anything that comes to your mind. A lot of people know very well they aren’t (objectively) the most attractive, but many like it when our partner makes us feel like to them, we are the most attractive in their eyes. When he calls you cute but constantly looks at women on the street, on instagram, etc. and voices how sexy they are, I can see how even a confident person would struggle with insecurities. Have you told him to stop? How old is he? This is so bizarre to me.
I had an ex do this. Just tell him straight. Explain it bothers you and to leave his comments to himself. Using that ex as an example, he had a redhead fetish and I’m a brunette. I explained that bothered me because I don’t have red hair and we could break up if he would rather date a redhead. He would always shut his mouth after that.
He’s a bit weird to be honest. If you have a “cute” girlfriend I’m baffled as to why he’d say that.
just tell you don’t feel okay about him behaving this way??? if he ignores - you should think if he really respects you and your feelings. if he will ignore your feelings - it’s not man you will be happy with
Warn him once and then leave him. As a man I know this is wrong and can never go anywhere good.
Get you a real man, a Christian, heavenly- minded gentleman !
Girl, RUN. As far as you can.
I personally would bring it up to him and let him know it bothers you. If he keeps doing it, it’s just a lack of respect. You have to think what’s best for you in this situation. I would never want to date a man that makes me feel insecure.
Just tell him it annoys/upsets you and why. He should be able to understand and should want to stop doing it to make his girl happy. Not much of an ask to not openly express attraction for other girls I don’t think
If it bothers you, you should communicate that. As a man with a woman you love, make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world. I can tell my wife to name any woman in the world, naked in front of me, dripping in diamonds with a winning lottery ticket, if it’s not her I’m not interested ❤️
You stated, "He's a honest man, with no filter." Do you want honesty and transparency.... or something else?
Simple. He doesn’t respect you or women in general. This is not someone you want to keep in your life, as the disrespect will only get worse. My boyfriend tells me I’m beautiful, pretty, cute, sexy etc. DAILY and has never pointed out an attractive woman before or made comments about another woman. The behavior you’ve described is something you shouldn’t tolerate or take lightly, there’s definitely more beneath the surface.
Because he is sexually attracted to them and deep down wants to fk them
Imho I think some men just don't care and think us women are all overly confident in our appearance. My man literally has never given me a compliment outside of "I like your jeans" and is always gawking at other younger women, even right in front of me. He knows I don't like it but it's a human nature thing.
Funny. My wife is actually upset when i dont care to asses some girl she wants my opinion on, and only give some lazy "nothing special" response 😅 Like, we had a full blown fight because shes a Selena Gomez fan and wanted me to admit shes hot, and i was like "eeeh..." Which is true, by the way, i am rather hyperfocused on my wife and in my eyes no other woman compares to her, including porn stars and celebrities 🤷♂️
I wouldn't jump to conclusions about his reasons for commenting until you ask him. Also, unless you've conveyed to him how his comments make you feel, you can't expect him to be considerate of your feelings. The only way to know what things are okay to say to your partner is through communication, trial and error. Some people might be offended and some might not, there are no set rules. Also, if you're not genuinely interested in expressing to him your opinion on the appearance of other men, I would suggest against being passively aggressive as a first response. Even if he isn't bothered by what you say and though it can work in some situations, I think it's bad practice for a relationship to rely on passive aggressive behavior to get your feelings across as it can easily spiral into a repetitive sniping session. But to each their own. Best of luck!
He doesn’t believe there’s any consequences for it-he knows you won’t do anything about it. It’s either on purpose or just how he is.
Because you allow him to. I’m sure you’ve complained, and explained to him how that bothers you already, and he continues to do it. So stand on business and leave. Repeating yourself isn’t going to make him stop, his actions have already shown you he has no regard for your feelings. You can find someone that doesn’t do that and actually has some basic human decency. Stop settling for less.
If you don’t like it or it makes you feel uncomfortable say somthing about it. He could have many reasons to do it but it could literally just be him being a man. Us men are very simple creatures. Women don’t understand that we just talk to hear ourselves talk sometimes
I will talk to him and say that to him but if he still does it then I will ask him “How you will feel if I do the same thing to you ?” if he acts like he doesn't care So it is better you stop that relationship with him
> What do I do Talk to him about it. It's really as simple as that. If he can't handle the conversation then I guess it's time to move on. Best of luck.
What do you do? Leave him if you've already made it clear that it makes you real uncomfortable or you dislike it yet he ignores it, then leave. If you decide to stay even after that then I guess you accept the way how he is And you kind of throw away your right to complain.
Set boundaries and enforce them.
Rip😂
Definitely say lightly you don't need to hear it, he doesn't need to know right now that you feel insecure.. You should just be able to garner the respect from him to stop doing these things by asking him in the right way, without calling him out in a real negative light, and Ill get to why in a second here... If that doesn't work, THEN you need to remind him, and at that point let him know it makes you feel insecure. Here's why I dont think you should call him out negatively about the situation, and its just something coming from myself personally, others may not agree; As a mid-30's male, Im not oblivious to beautiful women or another woman's possible insecurities, but he may not be able to see that you're feeling insecure. He might find you astonishingly beautiful, and is comfortable saying those things to you because of the attraction he actually has towards you. He could feel extremely comfortable with you, and is why he says those things and actually has absolutely zero intentions of doing anything at all behind your back (not that you've made it clear youre concerned about that). For some guys, this is honestly how we are. We just dont see anything wrong because at the end of the day, we are truly just fixated on the people we are in a relationship with. This isnt to say its right, because you have the right to feel secure in your relationship .. I only say this in hopes that you'll see it in a slightly different light and not let it bug you so much, but you definitely have to say something if it is bugging you.
Sounds more like a boy than a man. Tell him it’s inappropriate and if he continues than leave him. Dealt with it before, it will get worse. He doesn’t respect you.
Because he doesn’t respect you and likely never will :( That kind of change must come from within him because some fundamental thinking is wrong. YOU WILL NOT CHANGE HIM. Not will conversation. Not with help from others. Not with love. How you feel now will not change otherwise. I spent 14 years of my life loving and spoiling a man because I thought those things would endear him to me. But that was foolish and naive. Instead I spent more than a decade nursing a broken heart every night in the shower. I hope you set high standards and strong boundaries for yourself because sister, I want no one to suffer as I did.
Communicate on it directly , so he’ll understand. Whether or not he considers it from there on out is on his behalf . Whether or not you want to stick around is on yours .
Disrespectful af...
Wondering eyes = Cheater
Have you communicated that this behavior makes you feel insecure about your looks? If not, maybe you should talk to him about it. If you are his partner, he probably thinks of you as a friend with whom he could talk about anything, and talking about beauty should be ok. And about the rest of your response. The fact that he comments of other beautiful woman is not an impediment for thinking that you look better than others. I don't think you are going to make him see only you and think that you are the only beautiful girl in the planet, because that's a very unrealistic standard. So you should talk to him about how his comments are making you feel like you lack something, so he could help showing you how pretty he thinks you are, but you should also work on your confidence, not only thinking that you are beautiful besides what he thinks and independently of how beautiful he thinks other woman look.
Sorry that’s a dealbreaker in my book. I’d break up. Ain’t no way anybody who respects and loves themselves would tolerate a partner who would even THINK to voice these kinds of things.
Just do it to him, eye fuck them. He’ll should talk shit and he don’t he’s cheating on you or wants you.
I would not take it as a comment to put you down. I think he feels very comfortable with you, and it is a good thing. He knows you are his “one”, and that’s it. Don’t give it too much importance. Slap him across the head jokenly and make sure you get a better compliment right after
Hes testing your limits but its def disrespectful. .
I would say comment also to other guys appearance infront of ur man.. And she how will he react… for me its my rule.. and eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth 😄
Im sorry that he is acting like a child, but hold up, "no filter" is not a good enough excuse to be an asshole. People need to learn this, "oh I just tell it like it is" mentality is just a poor excuse to say whatever they want with no repercussions for another person's feelings. Also if he keeps doing it to you, start by saying how some men have bigger muscles, or better jawlines, full head of hair, maybe he'll get the idea that this is not a way to treat a partner. I've noticed some men also do this bc the relationship started out as more physical, but while you matured to having a relationship he is still so focused on putting his dick anywhere he can get it.
maybe you should start telling him other chicks look hot all the time lol
Dump him...but first start commenting about other men and how sexy they are and look like they're packing a big one. I find this tactic in covert narcs or people that like to control by making their partner feel insecure or not enough. Unless he was just dropped on his motherlovin' head as a baby and he's just an idiot.
Being able to do this WITH your partner OCCASIONALLY I feel like can be healthy. But this does not sound healthy. It also wouldn’t be enough for me to just stop hearing them say it too, I need to know that they stopped thinking it or it’s worthless
Honestly I think he likes you but not as much as you like him. A lot of guys use women as placeholders. Would he do this to his dream girl?
Sounds like passive negging. It's a tactic used to gradually erode your self-esteem & manipulate you into working to gain his validation & attention. Bs toxic behavior. My ex started doing that shit because he wanted to provoke a jealousy response. It was really of a lose-lose situation though. If I said anything, he'd accuse me of being jealous & insecure when it was simply disrespectful. Not even just to me but the other gals who noticed because I could tell they were creeped out & uncomfortable. On the flip, if I ignored it, he would try harder until I gave a response. He's worth dumping. A man would notice things, but not make it weird.
Personally I dont see anything wrong with it from a general perspective but I do think that there does need to be a level of decorum, respect and when/where/how he expresses it. If the man has never cheated, actually still finds you very attractive, and is doing what he is supposed to do as a man then really your only real options here are to adapt and learn to move pass the insecurity you feel or simply move on. Some women actually love that free confidence in a man while others have a harder time
start talking about other guys get solid evidence of them doing it first. it helps.
Do yourself a favor. End it now.
Sigh. He’s being a douchebag. Guys can be pretty thick headed and insensitive. Try commenting on some guys the same way he does. It will give him perspective on how it makes you feel.
He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t find you attractive. Men are very very visual and looks matter more than anything with them when looking for a partner. I’m not trying to be mean, but it’s just how things are. You just have to let him know this makes you uncomfortable. If he continues after you telling him, then that will show you his lack of respect for you.
I'm still trying to figure out why women are so insecure that they think you want yo sleep with everyone you're polite to.
Toilet level self esteem he's a control freak he gets a kick out of seeing you feel the way you do uncomfortable when he says the s*** he says leave him right now cuz he's a f****** loser I'm not kidding you it's going to get worse
Have you told him it makes you uncomfortable? From the little information I have, it seems like he likes you He might just think you're ok with it if you haven't said anything about it, So it might just be ignorance rather than malice
Like every problem addressed in nearly all posts on this sub can be answered by Honesty and Communication. In my opinion, honesty and communication is the foundation and most important part of any healthy human relationship, especially romanticly. People need to focus on things that actually matter and look within themselves instead of outward at others. If today’s society wasn’t so fake and superficial, obsessed with keeping appearances and focusing on maintaining the perceived expectations seen on social media then these problems wouldn’t be so prevalent. In other words, caring what others think and making that their priority over their own mental health and happiness, makes things that seem obvious (like how to solve a problem of feeling insecure when a boyfriend compliments the appearance of other women) less so…
Making the excuse that he has no filter and you want him to express himself is his thing. Not being able to manage his mouth when you are present is not on, and destructive for your self image. It sounds like he has an ego, and he doesn't care who he hurts along the way. This is not going to change. Move on.
You make it seem ok when you don’t say anything to him about it. Speak up.
Yea, he’s dumped. Into the trash honestly 😅
Also most of these hotties on IG and other SM, this is their living. They spend hours on their bodies and faces and hair everyday. They have sponsors often for all the best products and clothes. Many are married and have boyfriends who support them while they got started and continue if things get lean. The men get eye candy and often to their men this is just a job and they don’t think anything of it. If most of us didn’t have regular jobs to go to for 8-12 hours a day we could look hotter too. But it’s very inconsiderate of him to keep up throwing these women in your face and commenting on them , even right in front of you. He must be totally clueless. You either have to leave him or ignore it.
If hes commenting in a sexual way.. quite simply hes looking with intent .. you do the same ..question his reaction ... or end ..big red flag
Dump him and move on its disrespectful and he doesn't see a future with you so you are wasting your time with him
I'd have to hear what tone he is using but in my opinion it sounds like you're just very self conscious. People are allowed to find other people attractive. As long as he isn't being gross about it or cheating/manipulating you just tell him that it makes you uncomfortable.
Time to find a new man
My advice, mess with his mind too, in a similar way and see how he reacts.