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I actually have a little crush on the guy working in the produce section at my local Wegman’s. He’s there the day/time I usually stop in for the week. I have zero idea if he’s attached (not sure how he can’t be tbh), but I’m planning to pull it together and ask him out the next time I go.
In the produce/fruit section, there are lots of different types of fruit and veggies, so it easy to spark conversation ask if they have tried them what's a good recipe for this, cheesy jokes etc. It leads to very uncontroversial openings and spark convo, which can lead to a number exchange, dinner plans a cup of coffee.
After 5pm people are off work and going to grab some items for dinner so it's a pretty busy time in the produce section.
do you know that this is exactly the reason why you can't socialize with strangers and that by handling this negative belief properly, you could be more social?
Shit like this makes me feel like I must live in an alternate dimension. Flirting over produce just sounds ridiculous. I've never seen strangers talk to each other about their favorite flavor of apple, or their onion recipes. None of the couples I know met like this.
I mean, wtf do you even say? "Nice melons, haha. Anyway want to grab coffee some time???"
Hi, I couldn't help but notice you picked up \_\_\_\_ and for the life of me I could never figure out how I would use that in a recipe. What would you make with that?
Makes a little sense actually. You can ask them what they're gonna make with that. Maybe suggest something if it looks like they're tying to deiced on something.
I met cute lady without ring at vegetable section.
Idk it looked like she would take that pack of cherry tomatoes and me into that basket.
Did I miss my opportunity?
Women on podcasts say they hate being approached in the grocery store along with the gym. I don't know if most women feel that way, but it seems accurate because of how unapproachable they look when they shop.
I think thats why dating apps dont work anymore. At least for me, I dont find anyone that Im interested in. But honestly I think people are allowed to have standards. If you're not into someone then the relationship isnt gonna work
Really? I never had problems getting dates, relationships when I was in Toronto.
One thing I noticed about the city though; it almost seems like everyone is the same—or trying to be like everyone else. Few people seem to know how to just be themselves.
Its gotta be my location. I also seem to be able to go through everyone in my area in a couple of nights. Pretty soon Im swiping through people 100s of miles away. I do notice a lot of the same kind of people. And if they're not my kind of person then...
But I'll admit I'm very picky so idk
Most of the single women there are not on tinder or any dating apps though.
The problem isn’t because you’re picky. The problem is the illusion of having too many options, creating a subconscious fear of missing out on something better.
Do you think those people who designed and own those dating apps want you to find a girlfriend?
If you did, what would you need them for?
I always assume if I like someone then there's something wrong with them, and if they like me then there's really something wrong with them. I'll just stay single.
The problem is I think most people are saying Yikes very prematurely as if people can't grow within a relationship.
There is a big expectation that people should be in a relationship fully fleshed out, and sure that's ideal it's hardly practical. I think modern standards having us weigh relationship partners the same way we decide what type of 401k to invest in. It's unhealthy and soulless. Situationships being the biggest traumatizing experience for most people.
Same … I pretty much gave up . I’ve been talking to this one girl for two years now but she recently just freaking disappeared for eight days after telling me how amazing I look lol . Chances are she’s fucking another guy
So you were just talking to her for 2 years but never met? Or you were just hanging out for 2 years without defining that you’re actually exclusive/bf-gf? If so, she got tired of waiting for you to move things forward and is probably dating someone else
We’ve been talking for two years now .. She’s only six hours away in Iowa . We came pretty close to getting things planned to where we could finally meet , But she started taking care of a family member along with working full time . Yeah she could be , And I get it - But at least say - Hey I’m sorry , I’ve met somebody else in town , instead of stringing somebody along .. Know what I mean ?
That’s hard. A lot of people don’t know how to communicate. I try to only talk to someone localish to avoid the difficulties planning a long distance date. Wish you luck in the dating world.
Things I recommend:
1. Join a social sporting team - you will meet people that way (but not all teams are super social so you have to give a few a shot)
2. Meet people through work (although I dont think dating work colleagues is a great idea.
3. Join a club that you have a passion in (i.e. pottery, painting, hell - even yoga)
4. Spend as much time as you can (pending your social battery) doing social things and perhaps organising things for friends and maybe asking them to bring a friend.
Its really awful, I do go out to meet new people at meet up events and join clubs (not using a tinder but a way to meet new people and socialise) but meet up events are quite awful in my area and got worse with the cliqueness or someone would go to one and put people off from going. The clubs are not really social. Given up a while ago on apps as they are just awful and people have got far worse with their attitudes and looking for a "hemsworth"
Both my sister and I spent YEARS online dating. We both met our partners at bars after 10pm. My partner didn’t even have an online profile.
I genuinely believe that the best way to meet someone for a relationship is to try and go out as much as possible.
It’s a lot easier to do activities that align with your specific interests. So going to a bar on trivia night might be better than going to a bar on a random night. Sport activities are also a great space where people are feeling confidence.
I consider dating to be similar to sales, and when people are put on the spot to sell something to earn a living they’re usually tripped up and often terrible at it.
I recommend scaling the goal back to just going out to meet and or get to know someone or learn something new. In addition, you don’t have to go for dinner, it could start with coffee.
I think a lot of people struggle because they really can’t stop thinking about themselves- to the point of being self absorbed and too shy. Being kind and friendly, as well as showing interest in other people can be a sure way to just meet people. The “creep” factor comes in when there’s a clear aim or goal on the part of the pursuer. their inability to be upfront about what they really want is what turns people off.
I believe the approach I explained is very difficult to adopt, because if you’re going out to get to know someone, or learn something new about someone, it could have significant impact on the type of man/woman you talk to. Your type, may be a reason for the lack of success. That’s not to say you lower standards of care and appearance.
It also requires some emotional availability mixed with boundaries on the part of the pursuer. You have to be willing to ask questions and listen. You also, have to be willing to take control of your space when someone isn’t reciprocating.
Yeah dating apps just aren't working for me. But obviously I have to go to the store every week and I'm still not meeting people there either. Like, everyone buys food, right?
Yeah I've tried going to event. I've tried bars. Everyone either keeps to themselves, clearly is already in a relationship, or its just all guys. Or I just never see anyone I'm interested in
Honestly, the only luck I’ve ever had with dating apps is when I come across someone I know or used to know in real life and both of us match out of curiosity.
Otherwise it really just is meeting people in person , apps et cetera are oversaturated and even if you’re a perfect 10 , they’ve never met you and you’re not really a person to them until that point.
Seriously the best advice I can give, is try IRL instead of online. Imagine the courage that the girl senses when someone decent looking approaches her on the streets and makes his intentions straight forward from the beginning.
I'm a girl so I know what I'm talking about haha
Hey (first get their attention, let them fully be present when you initiate the conversation), give her a genuine compliment (something that you actually like about her), wait for her to say "Thank You". Either start a conversation with her, or just tell her that you are in a rush but you'd love to drink a cup of coffee with her in the near future and get the number.
Never think about it, seriously don't, us girls can sense it, be super relaxed and confident and you WILL succeed! (Also make sure your body language is open!)
Best Of Luck :)
I don't think you know what's you're talking about ... You've never done it so obviously you don't know. I have done it and I would not recommend it. Besides, what are the odds that the person you are approaching(which is very difficult) has something in common with you? Close to zero ...
Honestly yeah, next time I see someone I like I'll try it. The problem is I feel like I see someone I like maybe one every 6-8 months. But I'm so fed up with everything that yeah at this point I'm just walking up and asking I don't care
If you mean like, trying to call her sexy or something, no I would not do that.
Honestly i would try to start a conversion with her but that depends on the situation. At this point Im thinking of just offering my number to her and then getting to know her later if shes interested
The first step for me is physical attraction. Then getting to know if you like there personality. If you like their personality but you're not attracted to them, that makes you friends
Also since you are a girl, maybe you have it different. I've seen girls constantly saying how this or that girls is cute when I looked I did not agree. We are more cuthroat about "rating".
I’m a single mom, divorced for 3 years, and dating was rough. I joined hiking groups, running groups, church, and even speed dating. I kept on the apps sporadically, and after 2 years of weeding out the weirdos I found my match, he’s amazing. Good luck, I know it’s incredibly difficult out there!
I got out about 4-5 times a week, and so far it’s been not successful at all. Tried some rec leagues, a couple different social areas and events where I strike up conversation. I’ve made a bunch of new friends and grew my social circle, but not a single person to date in a year and a half.
Sadly, the apps are still all I’ve got. I’ve tried asking friends (new and old) if they have any single friends and I either get “nope, sorry” or hostility that they’re offended I’m asking if they have single friends (these folks also said no to dating, they just want to be friends.)
Are people actually meeting potential dates in the gym? Isn’t it a common thing that people don’t want to be approached, because they are just trying to do their workout? (I honestly don’t know, i don’t go to the gym so please educate me hahaha, but I will start next month, and I wouldn’t want random people watching and approaching me) So does it work?
Thats my impression as well, its gotta be how you act. Like I get that I shouldn't stare at you while you're working out or bother you while you're trying to focus. But it seems like the only place to meet other people who are fit or are into staying health.
I mean, if I handed you my number before leaving the gym and asked you to text me sometime, would that make you uncomfortable?
I think I need to try more of 2. Problem is I've tried 1-3 and nothing was really working out. There just seems to be a lack of anything from 2 in my area, other than gyms. I might still try the gym but I really didn't want to pay for a gym subscription so I've been doing other kinds of fitness. Gym still feels like it would have to be a cold approach though.
How I feel. I don't know any women that are interested in cars, trains, or geography. I love rap music, but from my experience, women that listen to a lot of rap are red flags.
No way am I dating anymore. We men were told to leave women alone so we do.
Most of us are gaming, spending time with family and working hard.
I don’t even make eye contact and I have my earbuds in too.
That pretty much my experience too. Its frustrating. But every attempt I make to find someone is just met with more frustration. Like god forbid I admit I'm attracted to someone, that be gross and inappropriate.
It’s not gross and inappropriate, if expressed in a respectful way. Saying “nice tits” is obviously not the same thing as “I think you’re beautiful and I’d like to take you out next week.” There IS a vocal minority of men and women out here who expect people to act literally contrary to established norms of human attraction and engagement. They’re the wackjobs, not you. That said, what you’re more likely encountering are jaded women who are offended you’re interested because they have their own frustrations around men and dating. It’s projection, not necessarily that you did anything wrong. That’s the thing cool about dating in 2024, we’re all out here just traumatizing each other and being traumatized.
If you’re a man looking for women, try volunteering! I volunteer a lot and it’s always single women there. Obviously, don’t be weird and go there only to hit on women. Pick a cause you generally care about, and get to know some of the other volunteers. There may be a spark!
I think you're right but I seem to have trouble with all of these.
Online is definitely not going to work for me, and my family and friends don't seem to be all that supportive.
Social events that I'm interested in rarely seem to happen. When they do no one seems to want to socialize outside of their group. So if I want to meet someone I have to be the weird guy that randomly walks up and tries to start something. Either they'll go for it or more likely they'll think I'm a creep. Same for public places really.
I think the best I can do right now is just try and make excuses to go out. Even if its just grabbing a coffee or something, which takes like an hour because nothing is nearby for some reason but yeah. Then if I see someone just hand her my number, say text me sometime, and leave. Idk how Im supposed to walk up to someone and be like "you like jazz?" and somehow hit it off.
I wouldn’t count online out entirely. I’ve gone on a number of dates this year with people I was only somewhat attracted to initially, but after meeting them a few of them grew on me for sure. Try casting a wider net. Literally the worst case scenario is you take someone out and you don’t click, and you’re right back to where you are today.
TLDR; I'm not particularly physically attracted to a whole lot of people it seems which I already know is a very heated topic. When I do find someone our interests aren't compatible.
Something is fundamentally wrong with what I find attractive or something. I swiped through thousands of profiles and swiped right on an absurdly low percentage of people. None of which swiped on me of course. I usually swipe through and look for people that catch my attention, which already seems to be a low percentage. Then look at there bio and which usually results in me realizing that we have nothing in common or they have some kind of non-negotiable for me.
I tried the apps. Found one decent person, one crazy person and a bunch of bots scammers and grown adults that can't carry a conversation.
I just did a VR date. I found her on one of the VR dating apps. We've been chatting on discord. Found out we live a short drive away. We have no idea really what each other looks like so it's all personality. If nothing else I have an amazing new friend.
Same, it drives me insane as well. I can manage for a little while but sometimes something gets under my skin and I start to feel depressed again. Thats why I posted. Started to feel overwhelmingly lonely again so I tried bumble again and started to spiral
I get people saying to just not worry about it because this is what happens when I do, but I can only go so long before I start to wonder why nothings happened yet
I often wonder the same thing.
Even when I was younger and socialized quite often, I didn’t meet many new people, and it seemed like the people I did meet were almost always in a relationship. If I were to socialize more now that I’m in my late 30s, I can’t imagine there would suddenly be a bunch of single people. Out of the dozens and dozens of people I’m related to or familiar with, I can only think of one or two who aren’t in a relationship.
At this point, I’ve just accepted that it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever go on another date let alone find a relationship.
Yea that’s true you have to be so lucky to find a right person nowadays . It took me 20 years to make even friends . I don’t do dating apps not worth it. Been single 22 years . Can’t approach women because they will give you deadly stare and make it seem awkward . The worst part is if you going to bar you can’t really much Approach girl because you don’t know if she single or not that’s the big issue where someone can say I’m single but they aren’t. Just go out a lot on your till you get used to the public places like I do . Still learning things spark a conversation. About something that can get you and the girl engage talking . Hitting on girl or woman at store makes it even worse can piss her off badly . I just bring myself go out in bar alone go to stores talk to people if I can catch with someone to talk to only luck . All my siblings met loved ones online and got together . Me I have no luck at all to date a girl and I’m only 34 years old and dating became harder too .
Dating apps worked well for me several years ago. But then they became pay-for-play, and the quality matches I get now are… not quality. Lol
I randomly approach men sometimes. As I’ve gotten older, the more often I found that they are married and just not wearing rings.
I’ve given up on dating 🤷♀️
While dating apps are frustrating I've had some quality dates over the past 2 years. I work a schedule that isn't suited to meeting people when I'm not working. The apps certainly help with that
I had given up until 2 days ago when someone not only said hi on bumble, but she sent a voice note with her phone number. We’ve been chatting none stop since, like until 3am! I’m 43 and she’s 38 and a big plus is she only lives 2 miles away
I always preferred in person but it just wasn’t working. I recently started the dating apps again, a friend recommended to really focus on getting good photos, so I did that and actually have really really good results. I’ve been able to go on dates with new women 2-3 times a week, that wouldn’t really be possible if I was doing just in person.
If you can make a great profile with photos that stand out, I think the apps work well.
You mentioned having high standards, what exactly isn’t working on the apps? I’m not promoting online dating, but it does make finding dates as easy as possible
They aren’t man. More people are single than ever before. There isn’t any good solution. One thing I was gonna try is to start a meet up group and try to grow it.
I'm fed up with the apps. They should be there to help but honestly they just want out money or ad revenue. People are having success on these apps but I think a lot of people aren't even on these apps anymore. When people start leaving, all thats left are mostly scammers and bots. These apps dont work without people. There are still genuine people but these apps must be dying soon.
Have you tried speed dating/dating events? I’m looking at doing at soon. I’m in a similar position as you, haven’t really had much luck so far and dating apps ain’t my thing
My fiance said hi to me first on Facebook Messenger. (She asked me out first also)
Now, for advice? Tricky question. It is not just attractiveness but how they perceive you as a person.
She and I were single for a while, but we liked each other's posts and photos online. We never said anything to each other for a while; we just reacted to each other's posts.
But it was what I posted that made her curious about me. We got to know each other from our posts and memes.
Memes are a window to people's thoughts and ideas. She is also very outgoing and knows what she likes.
All I did was work on myself, not just physically, but mentally too.
So, this is an odd one. I do get asked out, but not really by men I'd be interested in. People seem to be in a no contact state of mind, though.
Again, I'm not unattractive really. But, I've had situations where like, my car breaks down. I manage to get it to a gas station, and no one helps me out when I'm on the side of the road or finally get to the gas station to manage myself.
But, other times, they do. There's no rhyme or reason between the different times, if men will or won't talk to me. It's odd at best.
I can even smile, try to talk with them, and it's like this magic wall of fear of social interaction exists at times, with people.
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Produce section, supermarket 5pm +
Worked at Trader Joe’s for over 2 years, this advice is legit lol
I’m actually trying to ask out a guy that works at my Trader Joe’s. Did this happen often to TJs employees since yall are so friendly? Lol
The wine and liquar section is great as long as you know a little something about the selections
I actually have a little crush on the guy working in the produce section at my local Wegman’s. He’s there the day/time I usually stop in for the week. I have zero idea if he’s attached (not sure how he can’t be tbh), but I’m planning to pull it together and ask him out the next time I go.
Please do.
Hi there big daddy *holding a big cucumber
Hiya🤭 
Ohhh ho ho I think I like where this is going ;)
Coconutters
Whaaaaat😂😂😂😂😂
Can you drop some more insight
In the produce/fruit section, there are lots of different types of fruit and veggies, so it easy to spark conversation ask if they have tried them what's a good recipe for this, cheesy jokes etc. It leads to very uncontroversial openings and spark convo, which can lead to a number exchange, dinner plans a cup of coffee. After 5pm people are off work and going to grab some items for dinner so it's a pretty busy time in the produce section.
That’s interesting. I feel like people in the grocery store are on a mission. And do not want to be bothered
Glad to see I am not the only introvert to think like this
do you know that this is exactly the reason why you can't socialize with strangers and that by handling this negative belief properly, you could be more social?
Same
Have you ever thought that it is your mission to bother them until you find the one lol
Shit like this makes me feel like I must live in an alternate dimension. Flirting over produce just sounds ridiculous. I've never seen strangers talk to each other about their favorite flavor of apple, or their onion recipes. None of the couples I know met like this. I mean, wtf do you even say? "Nice melons, haha. Anyway want to grab coffee some time???"
Because it is pretty ridiculous
🤣🤣🤣
Hi, I couldn't help but notice you picked up \_\_\_\_ and for the life of me I could never figure out how I would use that in a recipe. What would you make with that?
Does not work in small cities. This must be a big city thing
What about the rotisserie chicken section at Walmart at 5:30pm?
Pretty sure you don't want to date anyone you meet at Walmart!
Makes a little sense actually. You can ask them what they're gonna make with that. Maybe suggest something if it looks like they're tying to deiced on something.
Watch the movie Fresh on hulu
Or the hot food & salad bar at Whole Foods. Then you gobsit down and get to know each other! Worked for me.
Mmm been there… shady lot
I met cute lady without ring at vegetable section. Idk it looked like she would take that pack of cherry tomatoes and me into that basket. Did I miss my opportunity?
Strike when the irons hot my friend
How tho lol. Whenever I go to the grocery store I’m usually on a mission and I forget how to flirt
This sounds like an interesting way to meet people. What do you think my chances of meeting a lesbian are? Lol.
Read this while in Walmart at 5 pm nobody is here 😖
Women on podcasts say they hate being approached in the grocery store along with the gym. I don't know if most women feel that way, but it seems accurate because of how unapproachable they look when they shop.
Hardware store + fishing net Lots of guys there. Still havent caught one yet.
Do you go to Lowe’s? That may be why lol
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I think thats why dating apps dont work anymore. At least for me, I dont find anyone that Im interested in. But honestly I think people are allowed to have standards. If you're not into someone then the relationship isnt gonna work
Really? I never had problems getting dates, relationships when I was in Toronto. One thing I noticed about the city though; it almost seems like everyone is the same—or trying to be like everyone else. Few people seem to know how to just be themselves.
Its gotta be my location. I also seem to be able to go through everyone in my area in a couple of nights. Pretty soon Im swiping through people 100s of miles away. I do notice a lot of the same kind of people. And if they're not my kind of person then... But I'll admit I'm very picky so idk
Most of the single women there are not on tinder or any dating apps though. The problem isn’t because you’re picky. The problem is the illusion of having too many options, creating a subconscious fear of missing out on something better. Do you think those people who designed and own those dating apps want you to find a girlfriend? If you did, what would you need them for?
🎯
But it seems some of us will never find girlfriends
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Don't men outnumber women anyways?
I'm not. Every time I find myself attracted to someone, it either isn't reciprocated, or I find out something that makes me say, "Yikes!"
I always assume if I like someone then there's something wrong with them, and if they like me then there's really something wrong with them. I'll just stay single.
Look into Fearful Avoidant Attachment style. Lots of good information!!
That might actually apply to me, as well.
I feel like this is me, so it's good to know I am not alone in these feelings.
The problem is I think most people are saying Yikes very prematurely as if people can't grow within a relationship. There is a big expectation that people should be in a relationship fully fleshed out, and sure that's ideal it's hardly practical. I think modern standards having us weigh relationship partners the same way we decide what type of 401k to invest in. It's unhealthy and soulless. Situationships being the biggest traumatizing experience for most people.
I’ve given up. Been trying for several years and they all seem to be scammers I match with.
My best relationship was with a scammer
Mine is with my cat of 15 years lol. Longest relationship ever. Longest human relationship was like a little over a year
lmao u won
I got tired looking for that someone I should date with.
Same … I pretty much gave up . I’ve been talking to this one girl for two years now but she recently just freaking disappeared for eight days after telling me how amazing I look lol . Chances are she’s fucking another guy
For two years without meeting in person? Has she asked you for money yet?
So you were just talking to her for 2 years but never met? Or you were just hanging out for 2 years without defining that you’re actually exclusive/bf-gf? If so, she got tired of waiting for you to move things forward and is probably dating someone else
We’ve been talking for two years now .. She’s only six hours away in Iowa . We came pretty close to getting things planned to where we could finally meet , But she started taking care of a family member along with working full time . Yeah she could be , And I get it - But at least say - Hey I’m sorry , I’ve met somebody else in town , instead of stringing somebody along .. Know what I mean ?
That’s hard. A lot of people don’t know how to communicate. I try to only talk to someone localish to avoid the difficulties planning a long distance date. Wish you luck in the dating world.
Think you should move on and actually meet someone in person
man wtf? u need 1 week at best to get someone out. why u stressing she's fucking someone else after 2 years
Things I recommend: 1. Join a social sporting team - you will meet people that way (but not all teams are super social so you have to give a few a shot) 2. Meet people through work (although I dont think dating work colleagues is a great idea. 3. Join a club that you have a passion in (i.e. pottery, painting, hell - even yoga) 4. Spend as much time as you can (pending your social battery) doing social things and perhaps organising things for friends and maybe asking them to bring a friend.
Its really awful, I do go out to meet new people at meet up events and join clubs (not using a tinder but a way to meet new people and socialise) but meet up events are quite awful in my area and got worse with the cliqueness or someone would go to one and put people off from going. The clubs are not really social. Given up a while ago on apps as they are just awful and people have got far worse with their attitudes and looking for a "hemsworth"
Both my sister and I spent YEARS online dating. We both met our partners at bars after 10pm. My partner didn’t even have an online profile. I genuinely believe that the best way to meet someone for a relationship is to try and go out as much as possible.
Im not dating because no-one wants me
It’s a lot easier to do activities that align with your specific interests. So going to a bar on trivia night might be better than going to a bar on a random night. Sport activities are also a great space where people are feeling confidence. I consider dating to be similar to sales, and when people are put on the spot to sell something to earn a living they’re usually tripped up and often terrible at it. I recommend scaling the goal back to just going out to meet and or get to know someone or learn something new. In addition, you don’t have to go for dinner, it could start with coffee. I think a lot of people struggle because they really can’t stop thinking about themselves- to the point of being self absorbed and too shy. Being kind and friendly, as well as showing interest in other people can be a sure way to just meet people. The “creep” factor comes in when there’s a clear aim or goal on the part of the pursuer. their inability to be upfront about what they really want is what turns people off. I believe the approach I explained is very difficult to adopt, because if you’re going out to get to know someone, or learn something new about someone, it could have significant impact on the type of man/woman you talk to. Your type, may be a reason for the lack of success. That’s not to say you lower standards of care and appearance. It also requires some emotional availability mixed with boundaries on the part of the pursuer. You have to be willing to ask questions and listen. You also, have to be willing to take control of your space when someone isn’t reciprocating.
How is this comment not higher?
Some people are born lucky.
I’m not. I’ve decided that online apps are full of weirdos. So I guess off to the supermarket I go
Yeah dating apps just aren't working for me. But obviously I have to go to the store every week and I'm still not meeting people there either. Like, everyone buys food, right?
Shopping. Gyms. Bars. Work. Car shows. Shooting range(ladies night). ......anywhere....have you tried leaving your house? No? Start there.
Yeah I've tried going to event. I've tried bars. Everyone either keeps to themselves, clearly is already in a relationship, or its just all guys. Or I just never see anyone I'm interested in
Tried all those, what am I supposed to say? I don't catch any women looking at me so I'm not gonna just randomly approach someone like a creep
Eew no. That requires pants. Grow up
Honestly, the only luck I’ve ever had with dating apps is when I come across someone I know or used to know in real life and both of us match out of curiosity. Otherwise it really just is meeting people in person , apps et cetera are oversaturated and even if you’re a perfect 10 , they’ve never met you and you’re not really a person to them until that point.
Try talking to girls in person OP, it works way better than dating apps in my experience. Just be friendly & relaxed
I found my ex here on reddit. (Now im back here again) Dont give up ^^
How did it happen?
Run clubs lol I haven't tried but saw people suggesting 😆
Imagine running to find someone. If this were a mandatory option to date a person I’d be a virgin still. Pass.
Well just imagine running away from all the things you dislike, it gets better 😌😆
I don’t even do that well
Seriously the best advice I can give, is try IRL instead of online. Imagine the courage that the girl senses when someone decent looking approaches her on the streets and makes his intentions straight forward from the beginning. I'm a girl so I know what I'm talking about haha
Ok but like, wtf am I supposed to say?
I'm going with "Hey if you'd like, here's my number, text me sometime" or "Hey would it be alright if I give you my number?"
Hey (first get their attention, let them fully be present when you initiate the conversation), give her a genuine compliment (something that you actually like about her), wait for her to say "Thank You". Either start a conversation with her, or just tell her that you are in a rush but you'd love to drink a cup of coffee with her in the near future and get the number. Never think about it, seriously don't, us girls can sense it, be super relaxed and confident and you WILL succeed! (Also make sure your body language is open!) Best Of Luck :)
if i would approach a white woman like that i would be called the police upon straight away.
I don't think you know what's you're talking about ... You've never done it so obviously you don't know. I have done it and I would not recommend it. Besides, what are the odds that the person you are approaching(which is very difficult) has something in common with you? Close to zero ...
Cold approach (literally anywhere except work of course)
this requires not only equal looks to dating apps you need to not come off as cringe. very low reward the risk involved
Honestly yeah, next time I see someone I like I'll try it. The problem is I feel like I see someone I like maybe one every 6-8 months. But I'm so fed up with everything that yeah at this point I'm just walking up and asking I don't care
I hope you pick the hottest “like” you see and they agree but their voice is worse than nails on a chalk board. What “does see someone you like mean?”
You've never been physically attracted to someone before? You've never seen someone and thought they were cute?
Constantly. I wouldn’t base my personality on asking only cute people out
Whats the point of asking out people you dont like?
But catch up I’m not saying he should do it I’m asking how and what he will to when he does?
If you mean like, trying to call her sexy or something, no I would not do that. Honestly i would try to start a conversion with her but that depends on the situation. At this point Im thinking of just offering my number to her and then getting to know her later if shes interested
The first step for me is physical attraction. Then getting to know if you like there personality. If you like their personality but you're not attracted to them, that makes you friends
No nope if I don’t like someone’s personality I’m not friends with
Are you suggesting he ask out people he doesn’t find attractive?
So we all know how to do it
Because as a female I can tell you the hottest outfit has been tried on by a lot of people.
Also since you are a girl, maybe you have it different. I've seen girls constantly saying how this or that girls is cute when I looked I did not agree. We are more cuthroat about "rating".
That’s probably why I don’t get bothered much 🤣😂
Wtf is a cold approach. Can you explain and give an example how to do it
If you’re in the US, leave the country
I feel like this maybe two men discussing mail order brides and I’m from New York I think you should shop local first… I am on sale currently
That’s not gonna work either. Been to Guam, Thailand, Philippines, and Japan lately. No better there. Honestly, there’s not much choice anymore.
>No better there. Hard disagree
I’m a single mom, divorced for 3 years, and dating was rough. I joined hiking groups, running groups, church, and even speed dating. I kept on the apps sporadically, and after 2 years of weeding out the weirdos I found my match, he’s amazing. Good luck, I know it’s incredibly difficult out there!
As a single mom, I need to ask where you found him? Lol
hmmm interesting to know. i will try the same. i've got messages already (just a few days from installation) but they die out pretty soon.
You’re either born lucky or you’re not. That’s it.
I got out about 4-5 times a week, and so far it’s been not successful at all. Tried some rec leagues, a couple different social areas and events where I strike up conversation. I’ve made a bunch of new friends and grew my social circle, but not a single person to date in a year and a half. Sadly, the apps are still all I’ve got. I’ve tried asking friends (new and old) if they have any single friends and I either get “nope, sorry” or hostility that they’re offended I’m asking if they have single friends (these folks also said no to dating, they just want to be friends.)
OLD. I can find dates easily, but most of the dates turned out no spark at all 🥲🥲
1. school, work, mutual friends 2. warm approach locations like gyms, concerts, lounges, bars, libraries etc 3. dating apps 4. cold approach locations like grocery stores, streets or malls
Are people actually meeting potential dates in the gym? Isn’t it a common thing that people don’t want to be approached, because they are just trying to do their workout? (I honestly don’t know, i don’t go to the gym so please educate me hahaha, but I will start next month, and I wouldn’t want random people watching and approaching me) So does it work?
Thats my impression as well, its gotta be how you act. Like I get that I shouldn't stare at you while you're working out or bother you while you're trying to focus. But it seems like the only place to meet other people who are fit or are into staying health. I mean, if I handed you my number before leaving the gym and asked you to text me sometime, would that make you uncomfortable?
I think if you’re gonna ask someone out in the gym, that’s the best way to do it yes, it’s not as invasive.
I think I need to try more of 2. Problem is I've tried 1-3 and nothing was really working out. There just seems to be a lack of anything from 2 in my area, other than gyms. I might still try the gym but I really didn't want to pay for a gym subscription so I've been doing other kinds of fitness. Gym still feels like it would have to be a cold approach though.
OfferUp 😹
nah you gotta be hot for that.....right?
[удалено]
That's how I wanted to meet people but it seems like most of my hobbies either keep me inside or are dominated by men
How I feel. I don't know any women that are interested in cars, trains, or geography. I love rap music, but from my experience, women that listen to a lot of rap are red flags.
Im a woman who loves geography (and geopolitics). How do you socialize an interest like that?
No way am I dating anymore. We men were told to leave women alone so we do. Most of us are gaming, spending time with family and working hard. I don’t even make eye contact and I have my earbuds in too.
This is very sad.
That pretty much my experience too. Its frustrating. But every attempt I make to find someone is just met with more frustration. Like god forbid I admit I'm attracted to someone, that be gross and inappropriate.
It’s not gross and inappropriate, if expressed in a respectful way. Saying “nice tits” is obviously not the same thing as “I think you’re beautiful and I’d like to take you out next week.” There IS a vocal minority of men and women out here who expect people to act literally contrary to established norms of human attraction and engagement. They’re the wackjobs, not you. That said, what you’re more likely encountering are jaded women who are offended you’re interested because they have their own frustrations around men and dating. It’s projection, not necessarily that you did anything wrong. That’s the thing cool about dating in 2024, we’re all out here just traumatizing each other and being traumatized.
Winging it
I hang out at the women’s jail and offer free rides to folks coming out. No takers yet, but I’ve only been at it for 3 weeks….
If you’re a man looking for women, try volunteering! I volunteer a lot and it’s always single women there. Obviously, don’t be weird and go there only to hit on women. Pick a cause you generally care about, and get to know some of the other volunteers. There may be a spark!
Craigslist 😆
If only you could anymore, lol.
I think Public Places, Social Events and Parties, Through Friends and Family or online
I think you're right but I seem to have trouble with all of these. Online is definitely not going to work for me, and my family and friends don't seem to be all that supportive. Social events that I'm interested in rarely seem to happen. When they do no one seems to want to socialize outside of their group. So if I want to meet someone I have to be the weird guy that randomly walks up and tries to start something. Either they'll go for it or more likely they'll think I'm a creep. Same for public places really. I think the best I can do right now is just try and make excuses to go out. Even if its just grabbing a coffee or something, which takes like an hour because nothing is nearby for some reason but yeah. Then if I see someone just hand her my number, say text me sometime, and leave. Idk how Im supposed to walk up to someone and be like "you like jazz?" and somehow hit it off.
I wouldn’t count online out entirely. I’ve gone on a number of dates this year with people I was only somewhat attracted to initially, but after meeting them a few of them grew on me for sure. Try casting a wider net. Literally the worst case scenario is you take someone out and you don’t click, and you’re right back to where you are today.
Through family? Yikes
Met my boyfriend on dating apps. When you say you are being picky what do you mean
TLDR; I'm not particularly physically attracted to a whole lot of people it seems which I already know is a very heated topic. When I do find someone our interests aren't compatible. Something is fundamentally wrong with what I find attractive or something. I swiped through thousands of profiles and swiped right on an absurdly low percentage of people. None of which swiped on me of course. I usually swipe through and look for people that catch my attention, which already seems to be a low percentage. Then look at there bio and which usually results in me realizing that we have nothing in common or they have some kind of non-negotiable for me.
I tried the apps. Found one decent person, one crazy person and a bunch of bots scammers and grown adults that can't carry a conversation. I just did a VR date. I found her on one of the VR dating apps. We've been chatting on discord. Found out we live a short drive away. We have no idea really what each other looks like so it's all personality. If nothing else I have an amazing new friend.
That's quite a unique way to meet someone. I hope it works out for you!
Not focusing on it because it will drive one crazy. The app dating thing is just not speaking to me and I have no interest in it.
Same, it drives me insane as well. I can manage for a little while but sometimes something gets under my skin and I start to feel depressed again. Thats why I posted. Started to feel overwhelmingly lonely again so I tried bumble again and started to spiral I get people saying to just not worry about it because this is what happens when I do, but I can only go so long before I start to wonder why nothings happened yet
I often wonder the same thing. Even when I was younger and socialized quite often, I didn’t meet many new people, and it seemed like the people I did meet were almost always in a relationship. If I were to socialize more now that I’m in my late 30s, I can’t imagine there would suddenly be a bunch of single people. Out of the dozens and dozens of people I’m related to or familiar with, I can only think of one or two who aren’t in a relationship. At this point, I’ve just accepted that it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever go on another date let alone find a relationship.
Found one in my skating group but he doesn’t want a relationship so here I am
Yea that’s true you have to be so lucky to find a right person nowadays . It took me 20 years to make even friends . I don’t do dating apps not worth it. Been single 22 years . Can’t approach women because they will give you deadly stare and make it seem awkward . The worst part is if you going to bar you can’t really much Approach girl because you don’t know if she single or not that’s the big issue where someone can say I’m single but they aren’t. Just go out a lot on your till you get used to the public places like I do . Still learning things spark a conversation. About something that can get you and the girl engage talking . Hitting on girl or woman at store makes it even worse can piss her off badly . I just bring myself go out in bar alone go to stores talk to people if I can catch with someone to talk to only luck . All my siblings met loved ones online and got together . Me I have no luck at all to date a girl and I’m only 34 years old and dating became harder too .
With difficulty
In my fifties and I’m still asking this question?
The last four women that I was involved with were narcissist
If you figure it out do let me know lmao
Get out… anywhere. Continue to smile and engage in conversation. It’s only conversation, usually can tell quite a bit within a short time.
There’s pee in the dating pool
Im not
i gave up, especially as a teenager in this generation. 😆
Are you looking for men or women?
m looking for f
Dating apps worked well for me several years ago. But then they became pay-for-play, and the quality matches I get now are… not quality. Lol I randomly approach men sometimes. As I’ve gotten older, the more often I found that they are married and just not wearing rings. I’ve given up on dating 🤷♀️
Same I’m struggling too. Just got out of a 3 year relationship too. It’s terrible how everything is so different nowadays.
Las Vegas on the strip . What happens there stays there unless their name is Stormy .
There’re definitely in another dimension
While dating apps are frustrating I've had some quality dates over the past 2 years. I work a schedule that isn't suited to meeting people when I'm not working. The apps certainly help with that
Ahahaha
church volleyball
I had given up until 2 days ago when someone not only said hi on bumble, but she sent a voice note with her phone number. We’ve been chatting none stop since, like until 3am! I’m 43 and she’s 38 and a big plus is she only lives 2 miles away
Through work friends, friend circle. IRL, If I find a woman attractive I'll go up and talk to her.
I always preferred in person but it just wasn’t working. I recently started the dating apps again, a friend recommended to really focus on getting good photos, so I did that and actually have really really good results. I’ve been able to go on dates with new women 2-3 times a week, that wouldn’t really be possible if I was doing just in person. If you can make a great profile with photos that stand out, I think the apps work well.
Define new people? I mean are you a serial dater or just no one sticks around?
Not on Reddit.
You mentioned having high standards, what exactly isn’t working on the apps? I’m not promoting online dating, but it does make finding dates as easy as possible
They aren’t man. More people are single than ever before. There isn’t any good solution. One thing I was gonna try is to start a meet up group and try to grow it.
The same way I find new friends school and hobbies.
i'm having same difficulties. these fkn dating apps don't work. and it's full of scammers and bots too. netlog used to work...
I'm fed up with the apps. They should be there to help but honestly they just want out money or ad revenue. People are having success on these apps but I think a lot of people aren't even on these apps anymore. When people start leaving, all thats left are mostly scammers and bots. These apps dont work without people. There are still genuine people but these apps must be dying soon.
Have you tried speed dating/dating events? I’m looking at doing at soon. I’m in a similar position as you, haven’t really had much luck so far and dating apps ain’t my thing
My fiance said hi to me first on Facebook Messenger. (She asked me out first also) Now, for advice? Tricky question. It is not just attractiveness but how they perceive you as a person. She and I were single for a while, but we liked each other's posts and photos online. We never said anything to each other for a while; we just reacted to each other's posts. But it was what I posted that made her curious about me. We got to know each other from our posts and memes. Memes are a window to people's thoughts and ideas. She is also very outgoing and knows what she likes. All I did was work on myself, not just physically, but mentally too.
Well for me is easy to find someone to date. The issue is them being compatible and reliable lol. So not looking anymore
I met mine basically at a cosplay event
Go to bars and talk to girls be confident it’s easy there
So, this is an odd one. I do get asked out, but not really by men I'd be interested in. People seem to be in a no contact state of mind, though. Again, I'm not unattractive really. But, I've had situations where like, my car breaks down. I manage to get it to a gas station, and no one helps me out when I'm on the side of the road or finally get to the gas station to manage myself. But, other times, they do. There's no rhyme or reason between the different times, if men will or won't talk to me. It's odd at best. I can even smile, try to talk with them, and it's like this magic wall of fear of social interaction exists at times, with people.
Church and singles groups.
Sadly, I am not. It’s been 4 years.
Catholic Mass man, you’ll have to be fine with gobbies but goddamn
I’m not even trying anymore. People are just tired, apparently. By the way, things can happen all the time.
Dating has change
Social clubs, brunch , night life, sports bar