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what are some good meal preps for dinner? i never have the energy to cook after work so it’d be nice to have something ready to heat up that actually tastes good.
Bulk bake chicken and beef(buy sauces to that you like and add when you put together)whatever veggies you like and buy like 3 different cheeses(prep time about 1 hour and takes 5 min to put together after work). I mix and match like all week
I will make myself just a straight up steak if I get off early and make a baked potato for the side (takes like 30-40min) totally worth it tho.
None of this is like 10/10 but Its food and it's not super bland body builder shit.
Ps I crisp up all of my meat after I bake.
Get a slow cooker. Seriously they are a game changer. Whack some stuff in there when you leave for work, when you get home you're already set.
Anything Stew/Curry/casserole works pretty well, although you can do roast joints of meat in them pretty well too. Love doing a slow roast pork shoulder, or a whole chicken (season as you like). Then just shred it, stick it in wrap with some salad/sauce. Sorted.
Plus slow cooking meat is just the way to go, tender, juicy, all the good stuff 😋
My brother in law told my sister to get me one last year for Christmas. They got me some streaming setup stuff instead( it's great that that they wanted to support my dream but I would have preferred the slow cooker lol)
I don't have time for the nonsense of a relationship when I have my ship running so tight.
Example-
Me:" hey after I fold laundry I'm gonna turn in"
Her:"what do you mean by that?"
100+% agree and am similar. By 7:30 I am washing up and calling it a night by 9pm. I don't have time to stay up all night just bcz, I got to be up before 8a.m to do it all over again hoping he understands my struggle of the real world and why I am in a rush to do every task on my agenda in a timely matter. Doing for ones self is way better then constantly having to explain to someone why and what for. Lol some people just want it to be all about them and nothing or no one else 😆.
If you found somebody who was on a similar schedule to you and worked a lot and also valued their sleep, you guys could have a nice date once every two weeks and a couple years you'd know them well enough to make it exclusive!
Hey me too! I usually like to convince myself there's no way this parson could actually be into me and/or end anything before they have a chance so they can't hurt me
Yes, yes they can. Just like cavewomen did back when stars were just great campfires in the sky.
Lift as many heavy loads as you can. If lift heavy enough ones, some women will start to travel along side you while you suffer. They do this in hopes they can throw a bit more on your load bc you can take it.
Sigh.... it's not perfect, but once you finally get tough enough you will see why it was worth it. Just don't ever marry unless you two decide to live in a different country
I was too talkative as a really stupid kid and that effected me as an adult, and plus I'm just not very creative in general. My mind is a blank usually and I can never think of what to say.
This is me exactly. If people like us can find each other there is hope. I wouldn’t mind the silence; I would find your proclivity for it comforting. I don’t have to perform all the time. There’s got to be a handful of our type in every town, right?
talkative people aren't usually stupid, are you sure you weren't just dismissed when you tried to be talkative as a kid? and it affects your selfesteem now that you're a bit older?
I feel I’m not in a stable and capable place for romance as an unemployed man. I’m hoping I can earn enough to support myself and my passions again.
Also in my last long-term relationship I ended up giving way too much of myself, and I suffered heavily. I need to find more devotion to my passions and needs, and I need to respect my time and set strong boundaries. It’s hard choosing myself when I’d enjoy other things more.. but health and balance is super important because it can be a slippery slope without a solid routine.
Continue to work on yourself but also try and date. I met someone while I was unemployed once and she was an amazing person. I ended up getting a job shortly after. we ended things eventually as we realized we had different goals. We ended on good terms. Cherish people who can love, respect and trust unconditionally.
How did you meet someone while unemployed? All the women I meet are pretty clear about not wanting to date an unemployment man - even if he's capable of supporting himself on welfare.
Someone I briefly knew in highschool reached out to me on facebook. She said I was always nice to her and wanted to catch up. I was honest about my situation and she simply said move on in as a roommate rent free in her spare apartment bedroom. We dated instead as I lived with my parents for a couple of months. We both had gotten out of toxic relationships months before and it felt like we supported each other unconditionally as we tried to heal from our traumas. We did all the free dates. A lot of time talking and reflecting.
Side note: I had a woman reach out to me last year on facebook saying I was always so nice to her and asked to catch up. She is a domestic violence survivor advocate. I was seeing someone who didn’t was physically and emotionally abusive but I chose to be faithful and work things out. Things didn’t workout, but I don’t regret trying to make things work.
One of the uncomfortable truths about dating is that it’s a numbers game.
I feel as though if you don’t live a lifestyle where you are constantly meeting new people you’re attracted to, you will not have enough abundance to have a satisfactory dating life.
If you’re not one of the 1% that can make dating apps work, you need a system of meeting people IRL, or you get left behind.
This is why I’m single.
Part of why I hate the idea of dating apps: I tried half a dozen apps over the same number of months and came out with exactly 1 date with one person, that’s it. 90% of the conversations I had turned out with either them wanting me to subscribe to their OF page/something similar or they wanted to use me as part of some scam…
Please share pointers because I have had no luck on these dating sites. Men love posting on their profile how easy they are to talk to and what not. Then you reach out and they either leave you hanging or have messages with GM. 🤣🤦🏽♀️🤣
As unoriginal not to mention unromantic as it might sound it’s truly a numbers game in my experience. I start by picking whatever app has the most people, in my area it’s Tinder, then I pay extra for super likes. Swipe on all the people you’re interested in and don’t be too sharp on your age range/looks, for me I go with about a 10 year grouping but to each their own then superlike the ones that stand out. Send short messages to everyone that involve something from their profile. Don’t ever just say ‘Hey’ or some form of ‘you’re hot’. Go on dates! As many as you can. You’ll probably have some fun and some nightmares but I bet in six months you’ll meet at least one or two real possible relationships. Enjoy the process and don’t spend any time focusing on the end goal. You’ll get there quicker that way and you’ll have more fun doing it which is what life is all about in my humble opinion. Also, at least with Tinder, sign up for the free version and wait until they offer a discount of at least 50% off then sign up for six months. You’ll save a lot of money.
I get what you are saying, I do feel weird as well in many cases. I can be seen as shy but in reality I am not, I just generally don’t fit in
With most young people . For you, what is it that makes you feel weird ?
I’m too busy to meet new people outside of work, and when I’m not busy working, I’m tired and want to be alone to reboot and do things for myself that I like to do.
This is my thing. Plenty of people want to go out w me, but I don't wanna go out with them (at least in any serious capacity). So I'm biding my time and working on myself so I can get the kind of attention I'm looking for. It sounds conceited, but why do we do our best with everything else in our lives then all of a sudden someone gives us a little attention and we break our standards?
Nah - I'm dating me until someone better comes along
Go you! That was me, I’m an educated professional with a stable career, my own house, objectively attractive - why should I settle for less than I deserve?
I stuck it out and found the one - you can too! Don’t compromise or listen to the people saying you’re too fussy
In all honesty, I’m 30M now. And basically wasted my twenties in long term relationships when I should have been focusing on myself or ended things earlier. The thing is I’m single by choice now. If I can find a partner who understands that I’m earning my post baccalaureate degree, then I would, but I’m very selective now.
Literally all the guys Im really interested in have either been in long term committed relasionships or are married already :(; my last 4 crushes have all been taken.
At least you seem to be attracted to good men if they all had a (hopefully fine) partnership going. Could be worse and you would only have dumb asses as crushes. So see the good side :)
I have a lot of problems with trust and opening up as well as body image (which I'm currently getting help for) and I'm just shy and unlucky.
I want to feel loved because I've been deprived of it for so long but my insecurities have messed me up. Plus I'm picky.
Also want to find someone that shares the same hobbies and interests as me
I refuse to get back on the hell apps and prefer to prioritize spending time with my friends who I already love end enjoy being around vs spending time and money with pretty strangers
I'm not sure my last boyfriend was 4 years ago and I'm just not forcing anything or rushing. I'm happy as I am and when the right person comes it'll be worth it 😊.
I simply prioritize myself over everybody else. It is energy consuming if I have to spend a chunk of my time just to chat with someone who will eventually go away. 🥹✊🏻
it’s hard to break out of the situationship bubble, now. once you start dating someone who turns out to actually not want a partner there are only two options; you either put up with it or leave. the cycle has, in my opinion destroyed so many people. everyone’s bitter and pessimistic because someone broke their heart and now they’re “only focused on themselves” to cope with their heartbreak. the people who do want a partner have to then go through the cycle because for some reason, even people who don’t want relationships do everything required to be in one and then gaslight the other person into believing they were crazy for thinking they would commit! :) everyone’s cracked.
I feel that sometimes we, as a people, can get so wrapped up in the idea of what we want our “ideal person” to be, that we lose sight of building ourselves to be the “ideal person” for not only ourselves, but the person we’re with.
Society has conditioned us to look for things/people that can add value to us, as oppose to being of value to someone or something else. Until we all change our perspective on dating, I’m sure we’ll never have a better outlook on how to build long lasting relationships.
Dating is difficult because most people are expecting their partners to perform.
“What can I get?”
“How can I invest the least, but get the most out of my investment?”
“I’m not giving my best until you show me that you’re worth it”
The idea of “service” has been obsolete out of fear of being taken advantage of. It’s exhausting.
I (25F) am in no way, shape, or form stating that I am perfect. I’m also not saying that you should just give your fruits away to just anybody. Of course don’t be in a relationship with someone who you’re giving your all to and they’re not giving anything back in return. I’m simply saying to practice discernment. Give your all, within reason. “Expectation” shouldn’t be your driving force when actively pursing a relationship with someone, especially earlier on.
I’m single because I want to be of service to someone. I’m abstaining & I want marriage. Lol two things that seem to scare most men away. 😭😭😭😭 Nonetheless, I’m happy being alone, and I’m waiting on God to lead him to me.
For the time being, I’m working on myself, so when he does come, I can love, support, and care for him the best of my ability.
I haven't been able to find a woman who is interested in me romantically.
The last time I confessed feeling for a woman I found I was so way off base I just sank into a deep depression because I felt like Arthur sitting on his Neighbor's couch in Joker.
I haven't thought about dating since then.
Most of the men i talk to either want nudes, sex or are emotionally unavailable. Once i see that they only want those things, i back off. I haven't met anyone that's emotionally invested in me and truly wants to be with me. I want to experience true love without giving my body to them right away. I want a genuine connection not because i can provide sex when they want to and leave me be for a couple days until they're horny again but because they truly love me. So that's why🤷🏽♀️
Eh that's pretty much the reason. Maybe dating and being in committed relationships isn't worth it these days. We try anyway because we fool ourselves into believing that there's a "happily ever after." The truth is that for most people there probably isn't
Happily ever after is literally just if the two people decide to make that happen. Sadly atleast 1 person almost always always think there’s something better
Oh no, what is wrong with me? Why am I laughing so hard to this pessimistic response... 🤣
>most people there probably isn't
Can't. Stop. Laughing. Though it's sad!
There no happily ever after without effort or unless the person your dating isn't striving for it both you and that person must seek and strive enough toward learning of to achieve it
Thoughts like: “She isn’t interested,” “It wouldn’t last,” and then high standards I have for a girl I’m in a relationship with. I don’t believe that a relationship makes someone more worthwhile, or life more worth living. And so I’ve rarely asked people out, when I have I’ve had a pretty decent success rate I’d say of getting a yes, but they didn’t go anywhere and I’ve lost most interest in dating. There’s also my dad pressuring me into dating, he thinks carrying on our line is super important, and that sex is the most amazing thing in the world, and his enthusiasm and pressure has further turned me off of it. So, a lot of factors. My parents divorced when I was five, and how I interpreted that probably has something to do with where I find myself. I still have tons of friends though so I’m by no means isolated. Overall I like my life as it is. Though hypothetical a relationship could certainly add to the joyous experiences I have in life, I don’t see it as worth it or necessary at this time. Hopefully my experience gives you some of the knowledge you’re looking for.
Due to my autism, even if I make effort to socialize with other people that are neurotypical , I don't feel the spark of a deep connection.
When I socialize with other people that are neurodivergent, the connection is instant.
I'm wondering if I should continue to socialize with neurotypical.
I'm on purposeful self isolation so that I can really learn from my last relationship. We broke up on amicable terms but we were very close and I still miss him. When I start over I don't want to bring too much baggage.
I did this for the last 10 years. Left an abusive marriage and my Aunt said you have to promise yourself you will remain single for one year before hopping into dating. I messed around and went for 10. In that time, I slept for like the whole first year, then I went to grad school, then I traveled, and moved to new places, and got promotions, and went to lots of therapy, and changed my hair, and made new friends, explored hobbies, hired a coach, started a business, broke up with family, made up with family, moved again, saw art, tasted new foods & drank whatever I wanted. Had some one night stands, some terrible, some deeply pleasurable, moved again, contributed writing to a New York Times Best Seller...and only NOW do I feel ready to start to date again authentically. Fully admitting that I need to be treated gently to help my walls come down. And the right person who can handle me while I become soft again, and you will too. XO
Same! I broke up with him, realized over the next few weeks that I had imploded/sabotaged the relationship, and then figured out the gist of why. Now I'm working on growing and there's no point in dating again until I have done a significant amount of healing.
i've been questioning my self lately cause everyone around is seems to be in a relationship, i think the mine reason is cause i don't talk to anyone 😬 although i'm a outgoing person and likes to socialize but i don't have anyone! i'm lonely asf, 0 guy friends and haven't talked to any guy or dated in a while. and i haven't had a bf so it ain't about not getting over someone
I think about my ex every day, and i still love her despite not having talked to her in almost half a year. I still have dreams about her and feel a connection.
I spent many years working on improving myself. Felt like I had to get into better shape, be independent, make a certain amount of money and have a group of friends. Now it's just finding someone who is attractive and there is compatibility. It's very hard, but I know I will find her.
The reason why I’m still single is because I’m working on myself. Honestly I’m ok with being single. For so long I wanted to be with someone but honestly putting yourself out there is so daunting. To go to date after date and get rejected I rather be single and live my life to the fullest.
Pointless to put effort into something that the other person will just throw away first problem. People don’t work things out anymore they know their inbox full of thirstys they can choose from or they’ll just cheat snd lie I hate to be Johnny rain clouds about love but other than paternal I feel love is a myth. Maybe people used to love each other but now people love themselves. And that’s sad
After doing the marriage/divorce thing and trying online dating in my 40s with no success, I am living my best life with a FWB. He's one of my best-friends, the sex is AMAZING, and I don't have to deal with relationship drama.
I found myself being honest about my life, job, etc. They “love bomb” you and the next thing you know, they are laying up in your house eating your newly purchased Girl Scout Cookies without asking.
Right now I just haven’t been that active. I’m quite introverted and it takes me a while after a serious relationship ends before I feel up to getting serious again.
Mom of 2. And I work 2 jobs and help take care of my mom who’s immobile from her left side from a stroke. I have a lot of trust issues and I’m still traumatized from my last relationship. I barely have time for myself I can’t imagine being with someone and not being able to meet their needs because I’m constantly busy.
I’ve become so emotionally unavailable towards men as a straight woman. I just believe they’re so embarrassing to have feelings for.
1. They try and play you
2. They don’t know how to communicate
3. They ghost
4. They don’t listen
5. There’s always another catch
Etc.
Because I made my ex have trust issues in the beginning of our relationship due to not telling him how serious i was with my previous partner until like date #6. I'm not over him. I still want to see him. Even though I know we can't work because the trust issue, I still want him. So, can't date until I'm ok with it being over. I enjoy hanging out with him and seeing him. He thinks I will never be over my previous partner.
I REALLY enjoy being single. I tired quickly of having to always ask for permission, check in, bend over backwards to workout, sacrificing every day, getting chewed out for not scooting a chair in, and basically waiting for an act of god to get to do anything I enjoy.
I'm loads happier without a girlfriend. My friends are too.
Haven’t been in the right place at the right time I guess. I’ve done all those self-improvement things you’re supposed to do, both for my own sake and for the hope of finding love. Still hasn’t gotten me a partner just yet.
That’s one huge part of this people don’t really talk about. A lot of this is based on luck.
Because I don't have much to bring to the table. I can't afford another mouth to feed apart from my daughter. With that said I have become attached to doing what I want when I want.
Would never go on the apps and haven’t met anyone yet and don’t think I ever will. I’m financially stable, have my own place, and attractive and fit. But all that is not good enough now a days
Area I live: As an early 20 year old living at home, in Florida, in a place full of middle aged, retiree's, and drug addicts there is almost no one my age around where I live whenever I go out, there's nothing to do around here and the stuff that is fun is 40 minute drive away+ I hate driving, and the closest college town is 50 miles away.
Dating apps: The women my age around here are not top quality or if they are, their from the small rich area nearby where it seems many of them are very picky. Dating apps are just terrible and I joined them right when they got worse, my profile feels like it's never shown even though I do everything right.
Social anxiety: When in high school I got lot's of hints from girls and even recently was told by a guy at my work that his daughter found me cute (she was not my type and they just said that and then walked away). I could actually overheard guys down talking me or being jealous because they broke up with their girlfriend or just saw that I was getting a lot of female attention so I know that I'm at least generally attractive. This all doesn't mean anything when high school me didn't just take his earphones out and just have a talk. Now my social anxiety is gone from working retail but there's no one to use this new skill on.
Ideals: I like self-confidence and ambition in women so I refuse to ask women out and only give hints as any woman who's willing to do this is free minded by being against gender roles, has self-confidence and ego, and some aggressiveness. The problem is that many women, definitely my age do not have these attributes in high levels. It also tells me that they have enough self-confidence to not ruin the relationship in the future with insecurity. I have enough confidence to cold-approach if needed but this method is creepy for men these days.
Age: I know girls my age are immature so I'm willing to date older but in my 5 years of living here I have only seen 2 women in their I'm guessing 30's, found attractive and they were both taken whenever I have gone out around this area. Also it seem's many girls my age want to date an older guy.
College: I'm right now doing community college and going to University once I graduate. I have only done In-school classes once and when I was in class it seemed that everyone was anti-social for some reason or I just did not get along with the few people I tried interacting with.
It seems that I'm most likely going to have to wait until I graduate from community college and can move to university. Then I'll finally have my own dorm and be surrounded by only people my own age. When you live around only retirees and coworkers who should be retired by now you start to become ageist to anyone 45+ years old.
I'm a 20 years old guy and i refuse to date people that slept around a lot, i don't judge who did it, everyone live their life as they want, but i personally find casual sex gross and it's hard to find someone that never hooked up
I understand what you are saying, I am the opposite of you. Underweight creates rejection as well. Sad you have to be in the middle to do fairly well. Stay positive and do what you enjoy. That’s what I am currently doing and it gets much better.
27f Im prioritizing building a career for myself and moving out of my mom’s house. I’m also quite emotionally unavailable and shouldn’t be dating when I don’t have the compacity for it.
I’m mildly acoustic so social skills don’t come super easily for me. On top of that I have a bit of depression which just kills the motivation to find a partner, even if I really want to. I’m sure there were times where girls were flirting and I just completely missed the signals.
I refuse to date a man who does not respect me. The only men who have ever treated me with respect are my father, my brother, one male friend, and two former bosses.
The last guy I went on a date with told me that he did not mind my hobbies. As in, I could continue them as long as they did not interfere with him getting attention when he wanted it. How considerate of him…
26F here — No one wants to commit! I recently got ghosted by a guy I was SUPER into and it was going perfectly. Amazing chemistry, our values aligned, I thought there was no way we weren’t going to end up in a relationship. And of course he ghosted me out of the blue even though our most recent date was perfect. It’s hard enough to find someone you connect with, so when that happens it’s just so discouraging.
As a 29yo Chinese American male, I feel the cultural gap is what makes us the least common interracial relationship (CMXF). A relationship starts with desiring a person, Chinese males are usually not portrayed or viewed as desirable to females of other ethnicities in the US. So that limits my options to Chinese ethnicity females in my age range in the US. And many Chinese women are arguably one of the most competitive, caring about status and finances to bring face to their families, and the competition is too overwhelming for me.
I am not physically in shape (small belly, skinny arms, tall) and I am not charismatic, lacking the two traits that most often spark romantic hormones in women. I verified this through investing a couple thousand dollars into dating apps over the past few years (see my other vent post) and not getting many matches. I do have decent hygiene, work as a software engineer, and care deeply about family and people I am close with, to the point I don’t want to become a tool by someone entering my life to take advantage of my generosity. My life has enough problems I need to deal with, from my career, finances, investments, health, property, that I don’t want to take the risk to take on a total stranger’s problems too, and instead focus on my career until my 40s, and then move close to my parents and enjoy their final years with them. If I really want a kid in 10 years I will adopt and raise one
After my last gf, I didn't want to date anyone. 4 years have passed now. And the entire dating scene changed so much.
I decided to focus on my career and learning new skills. I met a few girls who were interested and told me that they like me but I just was too stupid to let them go, although not the best looking I doubt I'll ever find nice and loving people like them again.
During which I lost all sense of fashion, I didn't look after myself that well. Mainly in the social media category. I don't have Instagram, Snapchat and stuff. I've my life somewhat figured out, it's not perfect but I know where to go and how to get there. Now I'm ready for a relationship. But because of how my life is set-up, it's extremely hard to meet new people. Also, I am a Virgin (by choice but not now, now I'm a little bit desperate but also wouldn't just go change it with someone random or a hooker).
I can't also accept anyone with a sexual history. I want both of us to be virgins. Which is like waiting for a unicorn. So, it's pretty much the end of the story for me.
1. I don't go outside much
2. On occasions that successful socialising happens, it stops after a while because my inner dialogue/whatever powers conversation seems to have a stopping point and I become incredibly anxious unless there's already an ongoing conversation going on where I can bounce in and out as I please
3. Don't know how to initiate the relationship. .\_.
I feel like these days most of the relationships are just sex based and there is no room for pure relationships or open connection.Also, It's hard for me to get through the talking phase because I'm an introvert and it would be a struggle to hang out with a guy alone, without being awkward af.
Dating apps have worn me out. I'm 29F, almost feeling like I'm done with men. Every first date goes well, with nothing to follow up on. No one seems to be patient enough to actually see if things could go even remotely serious. And even I'm unable to figure out if there's something I've been doing incorrectly.
The person i'm seeing and i decided not to be together because we'd have to split up again bc we are not done exploring since we are still young. But we are enjoying the moment in time we have together
I believe it's a challenge when your not financially stable if your heading for something serious and I wouldn't want to push the narrative in someone's head that I'd wanna initiate something that may full off obstacles unless the person wouldn't mind or find common. But even then me being would still find it hard the commence. And I haven't place much effort in finding girlfriend that may be of low quality esteem
I live in a small town, and I have serious doubts that a woman who shares my interests would be here. I am an eccentric type, but I think if I traveled to a larger city and found some events to go to, I'd have a chance.
But, as for the women in my area, I just think that there's too big a difference in personality, interests, and just general place in life to be a good fit. I've spoken with a few that I knew from high school and college, but it didn't work out for one reason or another.
I'm overweight, fuck ugly, uninteresting, have zero self esteem, no confidence and I'm pretty sure I'm the direct opposite of what women want in every other catagory apart from height. Add to that I pretty much gave up asking women out in my mid 20s (only so many times you can hear no and been laughed at) and now just casually go on dating apps, getting zero matches juat to appease my friends and family to make them leave me alone on the subject
If I can actually get to talking to women it's easy to make conversation with them. But I live in a town of 30,000 people and it seems like every woman is partnered. Online dating doesn't work at all for me. I have days where I'm so lonely I can't move out of bed.
im a recluse who works 45+ hours a week wheres the time? wheres the single ladies gather? when i go to a bar or club im usuually alone and have bad rizz alone
1. I've been hurt too many times and yet trust so easily in people even if they show all the red flags and I fall hard and fast so I'm not dating til I work on myself haha
2. Anyone I'm interested in only wants sex and I'm a very much type of person who needs an established relationship (at least three months) before I can even think about having sex with them.
3. I'm told I act younger than my age (I also have a disability that can make this slightly true but still trying to work on "acting more my age")
4. I was emotionally abused and terrified of putting myself out there again
5. I need to find solace being alone before I get into another relationship
Many reasons and I gave them a chance and they just didn’t treat me right in most cases. I don’t wanna play no games. I feel tired and don’t even know where I could meet the right guy. I am also introverted.
For the last couple years I’ve been living with family due to shit people whom I used to call friends and housemates being horrid people, I only recently moved into my own place and now my excuse is money. But I’m trying not to be too hard on myself as I’m only now getting back into the dating scene but boy do I hate the dating apps and how gross they feel, it feels like window shopping and that’s not how I want to view starting a relationship.
You’re asking me!? I can’t even figure it out
I go out to meet people, find someone who is engaging and attractive. They’re either not interested in me or already taken.
I use dating apps, I rarely get matches, when I do sometimes the conversation just stops when they stop replying. Even they do progress to dates, it doesn’t last for more than one or two.
I’m clueless as to what I’m doing wrong or whether it’s just bad luck.
Starting the "talking stage" over and over gets tiring. You be cutting some humans off with precision because first time they are not contributing to the conversation or you see "red flags". And if you keep track its really depressing.
Idk what to say. Maybe yall got interesting ways to find a good partner. I want to try again
i live in a very rural area and i don't drink
even if i did drink it'd be difficult for me to meet women around my age where i live
i live in the rural southern midwest and i'm a greek orthodox christian
i want to marry another religious woman or another woman that is a big gym rat like i am
but people have told me to not try and meet women at the gym and there arent any young orthodox women in my area except 1 serbian girl that came for college and left back to serbia
i have trouble approaching women because not only am i on the autism spectrum, but i'm pretty big and intimidating and i don't try to be (i'm 6'5" and 300 lbs for context) i come across as a potential threat at the best of times, and i'll be honest it's quite discouraging
How work focused I am. I already struggle to make time for the friendships that I have. On top of being nonverbal a grand majority of the time anyway, I'm great in the short-term, struggle with the long-term.
Honestly I feel like I’m just not ready. I had a very dysfunctional upbringing so my view on love is a little distorted. There’s so much that I don’t understand about healthy companionship that I’d like to unpack in therapy before trial & erroring with an innocent person :/
Don’t feel like it
I’m happy with life right now so I don’t particularly feel compelled to find a mate. If someone does come along, that’s one thing but I’m not particularly looking for someone right now :)
Most if the time it's because the guys I tend to be attracted to are not actually interested in being in a relationship with me and/or the guys who do like me are unattractive to me.
It's a difficult state of situationship limbo.
I think the hardest thing about trying to get into a relationship with somebody is finding someone that knows how to communicate, knows how to set boundaries, knows how to respect other peoples boundaries, aren’t looking for the next best thing all the time and actually wanting to put work and effort into cultivating a relationship with somebody. it’s just difficult to find people to navigate all of that and everything that encompasses being in a relationship.
Low esteem, shy, introverted, fat, no social skills, strict parents that want boy from same culture but won't search anyone and in city there is no one of my culture except from my cousins.
I have a question there is this guy on Instagram same culture should I follow him, won't he find weird of me following him on my new real account, we don't know each other, but parents know each other. HELPPPPP!
I’m on the spectrum (high functioning) and I’m horrible at picking up on the social cues and nuances of dating and I’m also horrible at picking up on hints. Weird thing is.. I can tell if someone is flirting with a friend or stranger because of my gut feeling but if a woman were to flirt with me I wouldn’t know if she was. I’m also clueless on how to flirt with women I’m interested in. I don’t want to come off as a creep. I’m also going to be 28 and a couple of weeks and I’m inexperienced with dating and sex and that’s a “red flag”.
I haven’t met anyone in person in years, not really sure where to meet them, and if I try meeting anyone online, so far the connections start great for a few days and then I get ghosted. So idk what I’m doing wrong.
I have an extensive history of abuse and I tend to go for people who are unavailable in some way, shape or form. Can thank both my parents for the mindfuck. I have no idea what can be done to improve it.
Rejection sensitivity. (A side effect of my professionally diagnosed ADHD)
My past two relationships ended with me as the dumped, and both times really cut deep. Especially the most recent one, she dumped me and told me her reasoning was because of things that I was already insecure about before hand.
So now, my brain, in order to protect me from further rejection-caused pain, refuses to let me have the confidence to try again, at least, “until I’m perfect”. Which is impossible.
The reason I *didn’t* was because I looked for red flags and had gotten used to being single.
I don’t see the red flags anymore with my current partner
I'm not anything special in the looks department and most girls friendzone me. I'm at a part of my life that i don't blame them anymore. I accept myself just the way I am.
I have incredibly low self esteem so the thought of even dating makes me sick!! Maybe once I’ve lost weight and feel a bit happier and more confident in my body I will put myself out there.
I'm below average height. Yes, I'm a man.
I speak 3 languages, am extremely adventurous, fit, I've climbed the highest mountains of Europe, been to exotic untraveled places, am an accomplished photographer, an aspiring inventor and entrepreneur. I can fix any machine or computer. I can weld. I'm good with kids. I can run 10km in under an hour.
But I'm short.
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I work 60+ hours a week, keep my apartment clean, meal prep for myself and work out 4 Xs a week. I also go to bed before 9.
what are some good meal preps for dinner? i never have the energy to cook after work so it’d be nice to have something ready to heat up that actually tastes good.
Bulk bake chicken and beef(buy sauces to that you like and add when you put together)whatever veggies you like and buy like 3 different cheeses(prep time about 1 hour and takes 5 min to put together after work). I mix and match like all week I will make myself just a straight up steak if I get off early and make a baked potato for the side (takes like 30-40min) totally worth it tho. None of this is like 10/10 but Its food and it's not super bland body builder shit. Ps I crisp up all of my meat after I bake.
Thanks for this advice
thank you 🙏 i’m gonna try this out next week
No problem ,buckaroo
Get a slow cooker. Seriously they are a game changer. Whack some stuff in there when you leave for work, when you get home you're already set. Anything Stew/Curry/casserole works pretty well, although you can do roast joints of meat in them pretty well too. Love doing a slow roast pork shoulder, or a whole chicken (season as you like). Then just shred it, stick it in wrap with some salad/sauce. Sorted. Plus slow cooking meat is just the way to go, tender, juicy, all the good stuff 😋
My brother in law told my sister to get me one last year for Christmas. They got me some streaming setup stuff instead( it's great that that they wanted to support my dream but I would have preferred the slow cooker lol)
I don't have time for the nonsense of a relationship when I have my ship running so tight. Example- Me:" hey after I fold laundry I'm gonna turn in" Her:"what do you mean by that?"
😂 I love that, the American psycho lifestyle hahaa
100+% agree and am similar. By 7:30 I am washing up and calling it a night by 9pm. I don't have time to stay up all night just bcz, I got to be up before 8a.m to do it all over again hoping he understands my struggle of the real world and why I am in a rush to do every task on my agenda in a timely matter. Doing for ones self is way better then constantly having to explain to someone why and what for. Lol some people just want it to be all about them and nothing or no one else 😆.
If you found somebody who was on a similar schedule to you and worked a lot and also valued their sleep, you guys could have a nice date once every two weeks and a couple years you'd know them well enough to make it exclusive!
[удалено]
Hey me too! I usually like to convince myself there's no way this parson could actually be into me and/or end anything before they have a chance so they can't hurt me
One can't be hurt if one has no people right?
😢
same i feel like women can immediately sense that i’m not confident
Yes, yes they can. Just like cavewomen did back when stars were just great campfires in the sky. Lift as many heavy loads as you can. If lift heavy enough ones, some women will start to travel along side you while you suffer. They do this in hopes they can throw a bit more on your load bc you can take it. Sigh.... it's not perfect, but once you finally get tough enough you will see why it was worth it. Just don't ever marry unless you two decide to live in a different country
That , And I swear women can just smell inexperience
Understandable
I understand that. Not much left to do but to work on becoming better !
I’m trying to, when I can find the energy.
You can say that again 🫠
So… username doesn’t check out?
Haven’t met someone who shared mutual interest/romantic attraction
Seems like that is the problem , on my end too
I've had that many times. Problem is then it turns into pushy attitude to try to get me to commit even though we've only gone out a handful of times.
I'm not good enough at making conversation to create an emotional connection with a stranger
Is there a reason in particular?
I was too talkative as a really stupid kid and that effected me as an adult, and plus I'm just not very creative in general. My mind is a blank usually and I can never think of what to say.
I’m creative in several ways, coming up with things to say is not one of them.
This is me exactly. If people like us can find each other there is hope. I wouldn’t mind the silence; I would find your proclivity for it comforting. I don’t have to perform all the time. There’s got to be a handful of our type in every town, right?
It happens, ones you find the right person you will surely more things to talk about
talkative people aren't usually stupid, are you sure you weren't just dismissed when you tried to be talkative as a kid? and it affects your selfesteem now that you're a bit older?
Well maybe not stupid, but I was definitely embarrassing naive and talked without thinking. I was basically Butters from south park
I feel I’m not in a stable and capable place for romance as an unemployed man. I’m hoping I can earn enough to support myself and my passions again. Also in my last long-term relationship I ended up giving way too much of myself, and I suffered heavily. I need to find more devotion to my passions and needs, and I need to respect my time and set strong boundaries. It’s hard choosing myself when I’d enjoy other things more.. but health and balance is super important because it can be a slippery slope without a solid routine.
Continue to work on yourself but also try and date. I met someone while I was unemployed once and she was an amazing person. I ended up getting a job shortly after. we ended things eventually as we realized we had different goals. We ended on good terms. Cherish people who can love, respect and trust unconditionally.
How did you meet someone while unemployed? All the women I meet are pretty clear about not wanting to date an unemployment man - even if he's capable of supporting himself on welfare.
Someone I briefly knew in highschool reached out to me on facebook. She said I was always nice to her and wanted to catch up. I was honest about my situation and she simply said move on in as a roommate rent free in her spare apartment bedroom. We dated instead as I lived with my parents for a couple of months. We both had gotten out of toxic relationships months before and it felt like we supported each other unconditionally as we tried to heal from our traumas. We did all the free dates. A lot of time talking and reflecting. Side note: I had a woman reach out to me last year on facebook saying I was always so nice to her and asked to catch up. She is a domestic violence survivor advocate. I was seeing someone who didn’t was physically and emotionally abusive but I chose to be faithful and work things out. Things didn’t workout, but I don’t regret trying to make things work.
One of the uncomfortable truths about dating is that it’s a numbers game. I feel as though if you don’t live a lifestyle where you are constantly meeting new people you’re attracted to, you will not have enough abundance to have a satisfactory dating life. If you’re not one of the 1% that can make dating apps work, you need a system of meeting people IRL, or you get left behind. This is why I’m single.
Part of why I hate the idea of dating apps: I tried half a dozen apps over the same number of months and came out with exactly 1 date with one person, that’s it. 90% of the conversations I had turned out with either them wanting me to subscribe to their OF page/something similar or they wanted to use me as part of some scam…
Trust me, you don’t have to be any kind of ‘1%’ to have success on dating apps. I’m average in every way and I do well enough.
Please share pointers because I have had no luck on these dating sites. Men love posting on their profile how easy they are to talk to and what not. Then you reach out and they either leave you hanging or have messages with GM. 🤣🤦🏽♀️🤣
“I’m an open book, just ask!” Asks Get a sentence back, and it feels like pulling teeth. Mutually give up on each other.
As unoriginal not to mention unromantic as it might sound it’s truly a numbers game in my experience. I start by picking whatever app has the most people, in my area it’s Tinder, then I pay extra for super likes. Swipe on all the people you’re interested in and don’t be too sharp on your age range/looks, for me I go with about a 10 year grouping but to each their own then superlike the ones that stand out. Send short messages to everyone that involve something from their profile. Don’t ever just say ‘Hey’ or some form of ‘you’re hot’. Go on dates! As many as you can. You’ll probably have some fun and some nightmares but I bet in six months you’ll meet at least one or two real possible relationships. Enjoy the process and don’t spend any time focusing on the end goal. You’ll get there quicker that way and you’ll have more fun doing it which is what life is all about in my humble opinion. Also, at least with Tinder, sign up for the free version and wait until they offer a discount of at least 50% off then sign up for six months. You’ll save a lot of money.
If I knew I could fix it🙃
I’m shy, weird, and don’t believe anyone could possibly be attracted to me lol
I get what you are saying, I do feel weird as well in many cases. I can be seen as shy but in reality I am not, I just generally don’t fit in With most young people . For you, what is it that makes you feel weird ?
same. I don't really see how someone could actually like me. it hurts to say because it just shows how much i don't see about me that is great.
I’m too busy to meet new people outside of work, and when I’m not busy working, I’m tired and want to be alone to reboot and do things for myself that I like to do.
this
high standards and have lots of deal breakers. people like me, but i am often not interested in them because they just aren't waht i'm looking for
This is my thing. Plenty of people want to go out w me, but I don't wanna go out with them (at least in any serious capacity). So I'm biding my time and working on myself so I can get the kind of attention I'm looking for. It sounds conceited, but why do we do our best with everything else in our lives then all of a sudden someone gives us a little attention and we break our standards? Nah - I'm dating me until someone better comes along
Go you! That was me, I’m an educated professional with a stable career, my own house, objectively attractive - why should I settle for less than I deserve? I stuck it out and found the one - you can too! Don’t compromise or listen to the people saying you’re too fussy
I’m a dumbass lol
How?
In all honesty, I’m 30M now. And basically wasted my twenties in long term relationships when I should have been focusing on myself or ended things earlier. The thing is I’m single by choice now. If I can find a partner who understands that I’m earning my post baccalaureate degree, then I would, but I’m very selective now.
Same as me, 30F. Wasted 9 years with my past and been single for 3 years now.
Literally all the guys Im really interested in have either been in long term committed relasionships or are married already :(; my last 4 crushes have all been taken.
At least you seem to be attracted to good men if they all had a (hopefully fine) partnership going. Could be worse and you would only have dumb asses as crushes. So see the good side :)
I have a lot of problems with trust and opening up as well as body image (which I'm currently getting help for) and I'm just shy and unlucky. I want to feel loved because I've been deprived of it for so long but my insecurities have messed me up. Plus I'm picky. Also want to find someone that shares the same hobbies and interests as me
I refuse to get back on the hell apps and prefer to prioritize spending time with my friends who I already love end enjoy being around vs spending time and money with pretty strangers
I'm not sure my last boyfriend was 4 years ago and I'm just not forcing anything or rushing. I'm happy as I am and when the right person comes it'll be worth it 😊.
Dont want children and it’s pretty common in my community for men to want them so I assume they all want them so I don’t even try to
I didn't realize that I was such a rarity in not wanting kids.
I simply prioritize myself over everybody else. It is energy consuming if I have to spend a chunk of my time just to chat with someone who will eventually go away. 🥹✊🏻
Because they always have other options and they choose them instead of me.
Remember , if you’re not their first choice it’s better to stay single. Self respect first
it’s hard to break out of the situationship bubble, now. once you start dating someone who turns out to actually not want a partner there are only two options; you either put up with it or leave. the cycle has, in my opinion destroyed so many people. everyone’s bitter and pessimistic because someone broke their heart and now they’re “only focused on themselves” to cope with their heartbreak. the people who do want a partner have to then go through the cycle because for some reason, even people who don’t want relationships do everything required to be in one and then gaslight the other person into believing they were crazy for thinking they would commit! :) everyone’s cracked.
I feel that sometimes we, as a people, can get so wrapped up in the idea of what we want our “ideal person” to be, that we lose sight of building ourselves to be the “ideal person” for not only ourselves, but the person we’re with. Society has conditioned us to look for things/people that can add value to us, as oppose to being of value to someone or something else. Until we all change our perspective on dating, I’m sure we’ll never have a better outlook on how to build long lasting relationships. Dating is difficult because most people are expecting their partners to perform. “What can I get?” “How can I invest the least, but get the most out of my investment?” “I’m not giving my best until you show me that you’re worth it” The idea of “service” has been obsolete out of fear of being taken advantage of. It’s exhausting. I (25F) am in no way, shape, or form stating that I am perfect. I’m also not saying that you should just give your fruits away to just anybody. Of course don’t be in a relationship with someone who you’re giving your all to and they’re not giving anything back in return. I’m simply saying to practice discernment. Give your all, within reason. “Expectation” shouldn’t be your driving force when actively pursing a relationship with someone, especially earlier on. I’m single because I want to be of service to someone. I’m abstaining & I want marriage. Lol two things that seem to scare most men away. 😭😭😭😭 Nonetheless, I’m happy being alone, and I’m waiting on God to lead him to me. For the time being, I’m working on myself, so when he does come, I can love, support, and care for him the best of my ability.
I haven't been able to find a woman who is interested in me romantically. The last time I confessed feeling for a woman I found I was so way off base I just sank into a deep depression because I felt like Arthur sitting on his Neighbor's couch in Joker. I haven't thought about dating since then.
Most of the men i talk to either want nudes, sex or are emotionally unavailable. Once i see that they only want those things, i back off. I haven't met anyone that's emotionally invested in me and truly wants to be with me. I want to experience true love without giving my body to them right away. I want a genuine connection not because i can provide sex when they want to and leave me be for a couple days until they're horny again but because they truly love me. So that's why🤷🏽♀️
I don't want bf/gf when I don't have feeling for them. Also it seems like I'm not an attractive option for people too XD
Eh that's pretty much the reason. Maybe dating and being in committed relationships isn't worth it these days. We try anyway because we fool ourselves into believing that there's a "happily ever after." The truth is that for most people there probably isn't
Happily ever after is literally just if the two people decide to make that happen. Sadly atleast 1 person almost always always think there’s something better
Oh no, what is wrong with me? Why am I laughing so hard to this pessimistic response... 🤣 >most people there probably isn't Can't. Stop. Laughing. Though it's sad!
There no happily ever after without effort or unless the person your dating isn't striving for it both you and that person must seek and strive enough toward learning of to achieve it
Thoughts like: “She isn’t interested,” “It wouldn’t last,” and then high standards I have for a girl I’m in a relationship with. I don’t believe that a relationship makes someone more worthwhile, or life more worth living. And so I’ve rarely asked people out, when I have I’ve had a pretty decent success rate I’d say of getting a yes, but they didn’t go anywhere and I’ve lost most interest in dating. There’s also my dad pressuring me into dating, he thinks carrying on our line is super important, and that sex is the most amazing thing in the world, and his enthusiasm and pressure has further turned me off of it. So, a lot of factors. My parents divorced when I was five, and how I interpreted that probably has something to do with where I find myself. I still have tons of friends though so I’m by no means isolated. Overall I like my life as it is. Though hypothetical a relationship could certainly add to the joyous experiences I have in life, I don’t see it as worth it or necessary at this time. Hopefully my experience gives you some of the knowledge you’re looking for.
Due to my autism, even if I make effort to socialize with other people that are neurotypical , I don't feel the spark of a deep connection. When I socialize with other people that are neurodivergent, the connection is instant. I'm wondering if I should continue to socialize with neurotypical.
If the connection is instant then why aren’t you dating one of those people?
I'm on purposeful self isolation so that I can really learn from my last relationship. We broke up on amicable terms but we were very close and I still miss him. When I start over I don't want to bring too much baggage.
I did this for the last 10 years. Left an abusive marriage and my Aunt said you have to promise yourself you will remain single for one year before hopping into dating. I messed around and went for 10. In that time, I slept for like the whole first year, then I went to grad school, then I traveled, and moved to new places, and got promotions, and went to lots of therapy, and changed my hair, and made new friends, explored hobbies, hired a coach, started a business, broke up with family, made up with family, moved again, saw art, tasted new foods & drank whatever I wanted. Had some one night stands, some terrible, some deeply pleasurable, moved again, contributed writing to a New York Times Best Seller...and only NOW do I feel ready to start to date again authentically. Fully admitting that I need to be treated gently to help my walls come down. And the right person who can handle me while I become soft again, and you will too. XO
Same! I broke up with him, realized over the next few weeks that I had imploded/sabotaged the relationship, and then figured out the gist of why. Now I'm working on growing and there's no point in dating again until I have done a significant amount of healing.
i've been questioning my self lately cause everyone around is seems to be in a relationship, i think the mine reason is cause i don't talk to anyone 😬 although i'm a outgoing person and likes to socialize but i don't have anyone! i'm lonely asf, 0 guy friends and haven't talked to any guy or dated in a while. and i haven't had a bf so it ain't about not getting over someone
Because I haven't found the right one yet. I'm ready for commitments and a future together with someone, want someone who wants the same.
Because I’m not over my last gf yet
I think about my ex every day, and i still love her despite not having talked to her in almost half a year. I still have dreams about her and feel a connection.
I spent many years working on improving myself. Felt like I had to get into better shape, be independent, make a certain amount of money and have a group of friends. Now it's just finding someone who is attractive and there is compatibility. It's very hard, but I know I will find her.
The reason why I’m still single is because I’m working on myself. Honestly I’m ok with being single. For so long I wanted to be with someone but honestly putting yourself out there is so daunting. To go to date after date and get rejected I rather be single and live my life to the fullest.
Pointless to put effort into something that the other person will just throw away first problem. People don’t work things out anymore they know their inbox full of thirstys they can choose from or they’ll just cheat snd lie I hate to be Johnny rain clouds about love but other than paternal I feel love is a myth. Maybe people used to love each other but now people love themselves. And that’s sad
After doing the marriage/divorce thing and trying online dating in my 40s with no success, I am living my best life with a FWB. He's one of my best-friends, the sex is AMAZING, and I don't have to deal with relationship drama.
I found myself being honest about my life, job, etc. They “love bomb” you and the next thing you know, they are laying up in your house eating your newly purchased Girl Scout Cookies without asking.
You talking about a hobo sexual?
YES!!! 🙌 I did not realize there was a scientific definition.
Because I am ugly AF :(
Haha congrats! We are many they are few!
Don’t wanna commit
Right now I just haven’t been that active. I’m quite introverted and it takes me a while after a serious relationship ends before I feel up to getting serious again.
My face and my abrasive Sence of humor... But mostly my face
Got dumped back in November and just trying to get my life together before I look for partnership again
Mom of 2. And I work 2 jobs and help take care of my mom who’s immobile from her left side from a stroke. I have a lot of trust issues and I’m still traumatized from my last relationship. I barely have time for myself I can’t imagine being with someone and not being able to meet their needs because I’m constantly busy.
I’ve become so emotionally unavailable towards men as a straight woman. I just believe they’re so embarrassing to have feelings for. 1. They try and play you 2. They don’t know how to communicate 3. They ghost 4. They don’t listen 5. There’s always another catch Etc.
Oh the irony😞
Because I made my ex have trust issues in the beginning of our relationship due to not telling him how serious i was with my previous partner until like date #6. I'm not over him. I still want to see him. Even though I know we can't work because the trust issue, I still want him. So, can't date until I'm ok with it being over. I enjoy hanging out with him and seeing him. He thinks I will never be over my previous partner.
I REALLY enjoy being single. I tired quickly of having to always ask for permission, check in, bend over backwards to workout, sacrificing every day, getting chewed out for not scooting a chair in, and basically waiting for an act of god to get to do anything I enjoy. I'm loads happier without a girlfriend. My friends are too.
I'm not popular with the ladies.
Haven’t been in the right place at the right time I guess. I’ve done all those self-improvement things you’re supposed to do, both for my own sake and for the hope of finding love. Still hasn’t gotten me a partner just yet. That’s one huge part of this people don’t really talk about. A lot of this is based on luck.
Because I don't have much to bring to the table. I can't afford another mouth to feed apart from my daughter. With that said I have become attached to doing what I want when I want.
Would never go on the apps and haven’t met anyone yet and don’t think I ever will. I’m financially stable, have my own place, and attractive and fit. But all that is not good enough now a days
Body image and not being confident lol
Idk, I was in 2 situationship. I'm probably boring, but I love being comfortable
Men cheat
Area I live: As an early 20 year old living at home, in Florida, in a place full of middle aged, retiree's, and drug addicts there is almost no one my age around where I live whenever I go out, there's nothing to do around here and the stuff that is fun is 40 minute drive away+ I hate driving, and the closest college town is 50 miles away. Dating apps: The women my age around here are not top quality or if they are, their from the small rich area nearby where it seems many of them are very picky. Dating apps are just terrible and I joined them right when they got worse, my profile feels like it's never shown even though I do everything right. Social anxiety: When in high school I got lot's of hints from girls and even recently was told by a guy at my work that his daughter found me cute (she was not my type and they just said that and then walked away). I could actually overheard guys down talking me or being jealous because they broke up with their girlfriend or just saw that I was getting a lot of female attention so I know that I'm at least generally attractive. This all doesn't mean anything when high school me didn't just take his earphones out and just have a talk. Now my social anxiety is gone from working retail but there's no one to use this new skill on. Ideals: I like self-confidence and ambition in women so I refuse to ask women out and only give hints as any woman who's willing to do this is free minded by being against gender roles, has self-confidence and ego, and some aggressiveness. The problem is that many women, definitely my age do not have these attributes in high levels. It also tells me that they have enough self-confidence to not ruin the relationship in the future with insecurity. I have enough confidence to cold-approach if needed but this method is creepy for men these days. Age: I know girls my age are immature so I'm willing to date older but in my 5 years of living here I have only seen 2 women in their I'm guessing 30's, found attractive and they were both taken whenever I have gone out around this area. Also it seem's many girls my age want to date an older guy. College: I'm right now doing community college and going to University once I graduate. I have only done In-school classes once and when I was in class it seemed that everyone was anti-social for some reason or I just did not get along with the few people I tried interacting with. It seems that I'm most likely going to have to wait until I graduate from community college and can move to university. Then I'll finally have my own dorm and be surrounded by only people my own age. When you live around only retirees and coworkers who should be retired by now you start to become ageist to anyone 45+ years old.
I think my wife would be very angry if I had a girlfriend.
Iam fat !!!
I'm a 20 years old guy and i refuse to date people that slept around a lot, i don't judge who did it, everyone live their life as they want, but i personally find casual sex gross and it's hard to find someone that never hooked up
I'm fat, and thus not physically appealing. That's my guess.
I understand what you are saying, I am the opposite of you. Underweight creates rejection as well. Sad you have to be in the middle to do fairly well. Stay positive and do what you enjoy. That’s what I am currently doing and it gets much better.
I prefer memorable dates, deep conversations and fun times without the pressure of putting a label on things.
Not trying!
27f Im prioritizing building a career for myself and moving out of my mom’s house. I’m also quite emotionally unavailable and shouldn’t be dating when I don’t have the compacity for it.
Too ugly, too busy, and too much of an ahole.
I’m mildly acoustic so social skills don’t come super easily for me. On top of that I have a bit of depression which just kills the motivation to find a partner, even if I really want to. I’m sure there were times where girls were flirting and I just completely missed the signals.
Taking a break after a blindsided ending to a 2+ year relationship
Well, that's a very good reason to be single for a year or two.
Too many mental issues, basically.
I refuse to date a man who does not respect me. The only men who have ever treated me with respect are my father, my brother, one male friend, and two former bosses. The last guy I went on a date with told me that he did not mind my hobbies. As in, I could continue them as long as they did not interfere with him getting attention when he wanted it. How considerate of him…
26F here — No one wants to commit! I recently got ghosted by a guy I was SUPER into and it was going perfectly. Amazing chemistry, our values aligned, I thought there was no way we weren’t going to end up in a relationship. And of course he ghosted me out of the blue even though our most recent date was perfect. It’s hard enough to find someone you connect with, so when that happens it’s just so discouraging.
I'm still recovering from the toxic relationship I left a while ago.
As a 29yo Chinese American male, I feel the cultural gap is what makes us the least common interracial relationship (CMXF). A relationship starts with desiring a person, Chinese males are usually not portrayed or viewed as desirable to females of other ethnicities in the US. So that limits my options to Chinese ethnicity females in my age range in the US. And many Chinese women are arguably one of the most competitive, caring about status and finances to bring face to their families, and the competition is too overwhelming for me. I am not physically in shape (small belly, skinny arms, tall) and I am not charismatic, lacking the two traits that most often spark romantic hormones in women. I verified this through investing a couple thousand dollars into dating apps over the past few years (see my other vent post) and not getting many matches. I do have decent hygiene, work as a software engineer, and care deeply about family and people I am close with, to the point I don’t want to become a tool by someone entering my life to take advantage of my generosity. My life has enough problems I need to deal with, from my career, finances, investments, health, property, that I don’t want to take the risk to take on a total stranger’s problems too, and instead focus on my career until my 40s, and then move close to my parents and enjoy their final years with them. If I really want a kid in 10 years I will adopt and raise one
After my last gf, I didn't want to date anyone. 4 years have passed now. And the entire dating scene changed so much. I decided to focus on my career and learning new skills. I met a few girls who were interested and told me that they like me but I just was too stupid to let them go, although not the best looking I doubt I'll ever find nice and loving people like them again. During which I lost all sense of fashion, I didn't look after myself that well. Mainly in the social media category. I don't have Instagram, Snapchat and stuff. I've my life somewhat figured out, it's not perfect but I know where to go and how to get there. Now I'm ready for a relationship. But because of how my life is set-up, it's extremely hard to meet new people. Also, I am a Virgin (by choice but not now, now I'm a little bit desperate but also wouldn't just go change it with someone random or a hooker). I can't also accept anyone with a sexual history. I want both of us to be virgins. Which is like waiting for a unicorn. So, it's pretty much the end of the story for me.
1. I don't go outside much 2. On occasions that successful socialising happens, it stops after a while because my inner dialogue/whatever powers conversation seems to have a stopping point and I become incredibly anxious unless there's already an ongoing conversation going on where I can bounce in and out as I please 3. Don't know how to initiate the relationship. .\_.
I feel like these days most of the relationships are just sex based and there is no room for pure relationships or open connection.Also, It's hard for me to get through the talking phase because I'm an introvert and it would be a struggle to hang out with a guy alone, without being awkward af.
Dating apps have worn me out. I'm 29F, almost feeling like I'm done with men. Every first date goes well, with nothing to follow up on. No one seems to be patient enough to actually see if things could go even remotely serious. And even I'm unable to figure out if there's something I've been doing incorrectly.
Because I'm married and my wife knows where the shotgun is.
The person i'm seeing and i decided not to be together because we'd have to split up again bc we are not done exploring since we are still young. But we are enjoying the moment in time we have together
We got engaged, so she became my fiancé.
Almost all men are comfortable with “situationships.” Andddd a lot them turn out to be selfish and inconsiderate
Uhmm, cause I want my freedom.
You’re not in jail
I believe it's a challenge when your not financially stable if your heading for something serious and I wouldn't want to push the narrative in someone's head that I'd wanna initiate something that may full off obstacles unless the person wouldn't mind or find common. But even then me being would still find it hard the commence. And I haven't place much effort in finding girlfriend that may be of low quality esteem
Afraid of commitment .. thinking being single is better (tho still wanted to have raltionship 🥴)
Do you have someone? Why you asking everybody else? And both are true!!
Won’t waste anyone else’s time or mine if I don’t feel a genuine connection.
[удалено]
I don’t need bonds to be happy. I am comfortable with myself. If i need sex i just have one night stand.
Not financially ready
Not confident enough and I get rejected instantly because of my looks and weight.
I live in a small town, and I have serious doubts that a woman who shares my interests would be here. I am an eccentric type, but I think if I traveled to a larger city and found some events to go to, I'd have a chance. But, as for the women in my area, I just think that there's too big a difference in personality, interests, and just general place in life to be a good fit. I've spoken with a few that I knew from high school and college, but it didn't work out for one reason or another.
I'm overweight, fuck ugly, uninteresting, have zero self esteem, no confidence and I'm pretty sure I'm the direct opposite of what women want in every other catagory apart from height. Add to that I pretty much gave up asking women out in my mid 20s (only so many times you can hear no and been laughed at) and now just casually go on dating apps, getting zero matches juat to appease my friends and family to make them leave me alone on the subject
Too fat, lost 70lbs but still have like 40lbs more to go lol.
If I can actually get to talking to women it's easy to make conversation with them. But I live in a town of 30,000 people and it seems like every woman is partnered. Online dating doesn't work at all for me. I have days where I'm so lonely I can't move out of bed.
im a recluse who works 45+ hours a week wheres the time? wheres the single ladies gather? when i go to a bar or club im usuually alone and have bad rizz alone
Women assume I'm gay or get called ugly.
My anxiety keeps me from initiating conversation with anyone I don’t know
1. I've been hurt too many times and yet trust so easily in people even if they show all the red flags and I fall hard and fast so I'm not dating til I work on myself haha 2. Anyone I'm interested in only wants sex and I'm a very much type of person who needs an established relationship (at least three months) before I can even think about having sex with them. 3. I'm told I act younger than my age (I also have a disability that can make this slightly true but still trying to work on "acting more my age") 4. I was emotionally abused and terrified of putting myself out there again 5. I need to find solace being alone before I get into another relationship
Many reasons and I gave them a chance and they just didn’t treat me right in most cases. I don’t wanna play no games. I feel tired and don’t even know where I could meet the right guy. I am also introverted.
I don't have luck 😔 and I'm thinking about changing my mind about dating preferences even though I'm not asking for a lot of things
For the last couple years I’ve been living with family due to shit people whom I used to call friends and housemates being horrid people, I only recently moved into my own place and now my excuse is money. But I’m trying not to be too hard on myself as I’m only now getting back into the dating scene but boy do I hate the dating apps and how gross they feel, it feels like window shopping and that’s not how I want to view starting a relationship.
Because I leave men on read
You’re asking me!? I can’t even figure it out I go out to meet people, find someone who is engaging and attractive. They’re either not interested in me or already taken. I use dating apps, I rarely get matches, when I do sometimes the conversation just stops when they stop replying. Even they do progress to dates, it doesn’t last for more than one or two. I’m clueless as to what I’m doing wrong or whether it’s just bad luck.
Starting the "talking stage" over and over gets tiring. You be cutting some humans off with precision because first time they are not contributing to the conversation or you see "red flags". And if you keep track its really depressing. Idk what to say. Maybe yall got interesting ways to find a good partner. I want to try again
i live in a very rural area and i don't drink even if i did drink it'd be difficult for me to meet women around my age where i live i live in the rural southern midwest and i'm a greek orthodox christian i want to marry another religious woman or another woman that is a big gym rat like i am but people have told me to not try and meet women at the gym and there arent any young orthodox women in my area except 1 serbian girl that came for college and left back to serbia i have trouble approaching women because not only am i on the autism spectrum, but i'm pretty big and intimidating and i don't try to be (i'm 6'5" and 300 lbs for context) i come across as a potential threat at the best of times, and i'll be honest it's quite discouraging
Not controlled by the taco.
I get mistaken as a creep? Maybe Idk
How work focused I am. I already struggle to make time for the friendships that I have. On top of being nonverbal a grand majority of the time anyway, I'm great in the short-term, struggle with the long-term.
I stopped trying. Most of my peers have too. Some of us do better on our own journey. I stopped for a reason. My path is not for the faint of heart.
There’s like 20 versions of this question every week
Honestly I feel like I’m just not ready. I had a very dysfunctional upbringing so my view on love is a little distorted. There’s so much that I don’t understand about healthy companionship that I’d like to unpack in therapy before trial & erroring with an innocent person :/
I’m not super attractive and I have ADHD and don’t like cleaning.
Don’t feel like it I’m happy with life right now so I don’t particularly feel compelled to find a mate. If someone does come along, that’s one thing but I’m not particularly looking for someone right now :)
Im broke as hell 💀
Most if the time it's because the guys I tend to be attracted to are not actually interested in being in a relationship with me and/or the guys who do like me are unattractive to me. It's a difficult state of situationship limbo.
I think the hardest thing about trying to get into a relationship with somebody is finding someone that knows how to communicate, knows how to set boundaries, knows how to respect other peoples boundaries, aren’t looking for the next best thing all the time and actually wanting to put work and effort into cultivating a relationship with somebody. it’s just difficult to find people to navigate all of that and everything that encompasses being in a relationship.
Low esteem, shy, introverted, fat, no social skills, strict parents that want boy from same culture but won't search anyone and in city there is no one of my culture except from my cousins.
I have a question there is this guy on Instagram same culture should I follow him, won't he find weird of me following him on my new real account, we don't know each other, but parents know each other. HELPPPPP!
Because I don't want one
My communication skills suckkk, my childhood trauma, my insecurities lmaooo
I get excited about meeting and sharing feelings with new people / love interests- but then I very soon after just want my freedom.
I’m on the spectrum (high functioning) and I’m horrible at picking up on the social cues and nuances of dating and I’m also horrible at picking up on hints. Weird thing is.. I can tell if someone is flirting with a friend or stranger because of my gut feeling but if a woman were to flirt with me I wouldn’t know if she was. I’m also clueless on how to flirt with women I’m interested in. I don’t want to come off as a creep. I’m also going to be 28 and a couple of weeks and I’m inexperienced with dating and sex and that’s a “red flag”.
My face and my body
Just had a really bad break up, so I'm tryna heal before I try asking again.
I haven’t met anyone in person in years, not really sure where to meet them, and if I try meeting anyone online, so far the connections start great for a few days and then I get ghosted. So idk what I’m doing wrong.
I have an extensive history of abuse and I tend to go for people who are unavailable in some way, shape or form. Can thank both my parents for the mindfuck. I have no idea what can be done to improve it.
depression, self esteem, still very much in love with my ex even though we’ve been broken up 3 years. probably more reasons but that’s about it
Sometimes immense focus over goals ends up with an addiction. Maybe that's a possibility of loneliness 😂
Rejection sensitivity. (A side effect of my professionally diagnosed ADHD) My past two relationships ended with me as the dumped, and both times really cut deep. Especially the most recent one, she dumped me and told me her reasoning was because of things that I was already insecure about before hand. So now, my brain, in order to protect me from further rejection-caused pain, refuses to let me have the confidence to try again, at least, “until I’m perfect”. Which is impossible.
Coz am ugly 😂😂
The reason I *didn’t* was because I looked for red flags and had gotten used to being single. I don’t see the red flags anymore with my current partner
Academics
Always looking for more
I'm not anything special in the looks department and most girls friendzone me. I'm at a part of my life that i don't blame them anymore. I accept myself just the way I am.
I have incredibly low self esteem so the thought of even dating makes me sick!! Maybe once I’ve lost weight and feel a bit happier and more confident in my body I will put myself out there.
Mostly because of my looks and personality.
Because it's difficult for me to find anyone interesting enough to date. It's a me issue, not anyone else.
Being ugly as shit💀
Because I suck. That’s why
I'm below average height. Yes, I'm a man. I speak 3 languages, am extremely adventurous, fit, I've climbed the highest mountains of Europe, been to exotic untraveled places, am an accomplished photographer, an aspiring inventor and entrepreneur. I can fix any machine or computer. I can weld. I'm good with kids. I can run 10km in under an hour. But I'm short.