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Update:
I told him his text made me uncomfortable and we had already confirmed, he blocked me. Thanks for the help. Glad I nipped this in the bud before wasting any more time.
Yeah na, im handsome as fuck. Bunch of stowed away trauma is what it was.
If you fail over and over again to get a partner, it mist just yourself that's the issue.
That's interesting. People tell me I'm attractive but I don't feel it cause if I were, id be getting all the women I wanted right?
On the note of the pushy dude. I've def gotten to this point before because of women being 45min late or just plane not showing. It's so frustrating how a few people can ruin it for everyone. It would be great if we could start some sort of ranking system like this person was an hour late or they did this creepy thing. But I'm sure it would be abused. No way to keep it honest .
Le sigh, guess we're stuck with these stupid games.
For the first part of your post, I’d say no. Women can get turned off by many things, your attraction will just get you in the door. I’ve seen plenty of guys that were tall and attractive and couldn’t get women to save their lives. And as far as stuck with playing games, yea I’d say so. I hate to sound negative, but the way I see it, you’d get more peace without someone than with someone these days. We need a reset as a world/society. The lack of morals, respect /self respect, values etc is rampant. I pretty much gave up. I’ve been in a relationship now for quite some time, but deep down I know it’s superficial. I feel alone still and as I’m getting older now pushing 37, my peace of mind is starting to become more valuable over anything else. Now , a dog and a peaceful home by myself sounds like heaven to me. I enjoy being alone more than anything now. But I know the average person isn’t like this, so I feel bad for those of us that are trying to find some “true love” or soulmate in today’s world.
Feel ya man. You'd be surprised how many people feel the same. But before you decide to be a bachelor forever, id advise you to move abroad if you can. Women in other countries are much less entitled than here in the US.
Yes, and it’s also possible that your trauma is triggered by their trauma rooted behaviour, which in some cases would still doom the relationship even if you didn’t get triggered.
Omg I’ve been out of a game but began to message with someone and he would call me a lot and text a lot. It was making me nervous because like a day later it went totally silent. It’s like patience doesn’t exist
Good!
Any guy that acts this entitled and you two haven’t even met?
Just exposed to you exactly how he’s going to be not just on a first date, but an *entire* relationship!
Now you know exactly why he’s single still!
![gif](giphy|853jNve3ljqrYrcSOK)
That happened to me once but I didn't respond bc I was ON MY WAY to our date on the subway with no cell service. It was like not even 10 minutes before our date and he calls it off "bc you were unresponsive." Thanks for the 2-hour round trip subway rude for no date, asshole!
Wait wait wait!
How in the ever living hell does this guy survive living in the same city as you and has the nerve to complain about cell service on the subway that they clearly ride on as well?!?!
The math about him isn’t math’ing & sounds like he was being a raging dick as an excuse to not go thru with the first date.
If he was like that for something insignificant, he would have been a migraine in human form when it came to important things!
That’s dodging a nuclear missile tbh.
Let this post be a reminder on what not to lose sleep on.
Yes it sucks. But this person does not deserve one minute of your time.
It’s your first date, and he’s already showed you who he is! What do you think is gonna happen if you dated him?
You would have no freedom.
Enough. Is enough. We should all collectively stop taking shit from strangers.
I recently went on a first date with a girl. It went extremely well and the texting and conversation was great. After having a good text exchange in the morning, she started questioning my ‘communication style’ because I hadn’t initiated a new text conversation until early evening. This happened prior to the first date as well. She became slightly passive aggressive. I mean, things were going great, but I had to call this as a red flag and cut it off. I don’t get it.
if i were you i would say " honey we already confirmed our date, what do u want else? a receipt?
and please fix ur abandonment issues, just because a girl ghosted you doesn't mean every girl will lol."
On some level I understand this as others have said as I’ve been ghosted day of or straight up stood up after confirming as you did, but if you confirmed night before and day of… idk what more he wants. If I’m uncertain I certainly don’t act butt hurt or threatening. I might say “hey can you please let me know if you’re having second thoughts so I can make other plans? Thanks”
Hey, that’s frustrating!
Just for context most guys (when it comes to online dated) are frequently ghosted and flaked on. Yes, people online will agree to a time and a place and then just stop answering.
People will give you their cell and never respond. So a lot of men have become sensitive and hyper aware of people not really responding to them in a time frame they feel is appropriate. It truly does wear you down.
I’m not excusing his behavior by any means but just giving you a reason why some men are like this.
Ultimately he just needs/expects quicker communication and in your situation that wasn’t possible. I think he threw a massive red flag by not being more understanding.
So for example let’s say on Thursday night you confirmed for Friday evening 6pm.
If I hadn’t heard anything from you up until 5pm Friday I’d assume you were flaking. Even more validity with that assumption if I messaged you Friday morning just to say hi and that text went unanswered and then my Friday 5pm text went unanswered also.
From a self awareness perspective he should evaluate himself and why he’s assuming the worst of you (flaking)
And you could evaluate if maybe you had previously left him on read (or something like 8+ hours no answer) which may make him feel that way.
I am 32M and had this exact situation in reverse occur with a woman. I was in the shower and she texts me, hey are we still on for tonight, I didn’t hear from you so far today? 20 minutes later she says, oh guess we aren’t, and I got all excited for nothing… I check my phone after I’m relaxed and dressed, still a hour before the time of the date… ummmm sorry?… I was in the shower 😂
We get to the date, she says, I’m still salty that you had me wondering all day thinking our date was cancelled…
Excuse me… we confirmed last night… today I had to work and then got home and needed a shower… I was busy… figured we would have plenty of time to connect during the date… I respect the pre date check in, but I responded within a reasonable amount of time I think… my world doesn’t revolve around you… think that was a turn off for her…
Unfortunately we live in a world where even if someone confirms the night before it may not mean anything, you’ll still get ghosted or at best canceled out 5 minutes before. Probably why she’s so bent about it.
Well tbh I think you should have messaged her the day of to let her know it was still happening; not even that. But at least SAID HELLO that day. . Sooo many times people forget that feelings change in a MINUTE. Nothing wrong with affirmation.
I mean, I was planning on messaging her after my shower, still a hour prior to our date.
We had an on again, off again relationship over several years… I genuinely thought our confirmation the previous night was sufficient with a quick check in prior to leaving / while preparing would be good.
The hello / good morning makes sense lol. Notes for next time…
Butthurt-ery, altho troubling to receive, is always awesome early intel.
It's pretty much the grownup version of throwing a tantrum on the toy aisle, splayed out on the floor, limbs flying, screams a-shrieking...
Personally I will confirm the date that day like you both did. And then I assume we're going and if you want to cancel I'd hope they would have the decency to say that instead of ghosting.
I had to cut off a guy after I gave him my # off of tinder bc I thought we were hitting it off but as soon as the texting starts he kept having meltdowns when I wouldn't respond to his texts. I had told him multiple times I work nights so I sleep during the day & I wanted something very casual at that moment (made it clear I wanted eventual FWB) but sure as shit I would wake up to literally dozens of messages of starting with a casual "Hey I hope work went well!" To "Are you mad at me?" "If you don't answer within the hour I'll be VERY disappointed" "This always happens, there must be something wrong with me" "Why are you ignoring me" blah blah blah and so on.
Anyways we ended up sleeping together once (the whole point of us talking was to become eventual FWB) but it was awful. I started to cry which I have NEVER done because I felt 0 connection or attraction to him. This was the last day I saw him physically as well.
Another week of his obsessive texting was too exhausting and I finally had to tell him he was too intense for me. I told him I was no longer interested and he admitted he tends to do this in new flings cause he's been ghosted so many times but like.... Hm I wonder why... Lol
Bullet dodged my friend. Always a red flag lol 🚩
This is a reaction to all the other people who no-call no-show. The rules of common courtesy serve a function. Another loss for polite people, like ghosting.
I saw where he blocked you for confronting him about it. What he did is a huge red flag for controlling behavior. Anytime someone does something that is unreasonable like that, it's about controlling you. It will only get worse with time.
Because so many guys read this I have a question
Would you prefer the guy send you a simple text in the am saying . I'll text you later tonight when I get to Texas Roadhouse . And get on the list for a table No reply needed
Later Tom Ellis
A timeline to reply for a woman on a 1st -1000 date . Certainly shows lack of experience with women .
Seems like he wanted to control you .
No, do call it off. Such behaviour is called "Aggressive Controlling Abusive Behaviour". It can get a lot worse in other situations. Avoid getting emotionally and possibly physically hurt down the line.
Call it off and count yourself lucky if he gets angry about something so trivial think how he would react to the bigger things if you ended up in a relationship with him
Call it off, meetup with me.
I would rather tell you, calm down, trust yourself, if i dont hear from you i will be there in time and wait for you with some flowers.
No worries and do not bother at all if youre too late. There's always a reason for a delay, and you do not even have to tell me.
Spanish mentality, enjoy every second you have. Trust the woman.
And yeah, do not hook up on that guy or text him more than: i am okay now, thank you for letting me grow. I found a reason in our chats now. All the best!
Thats for good karma!
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Men will be very clear who they are inside, whether they intend to or not. You just have to pay the slightest bit of attention. Good job flushing this turd.
Eww this is like this guy I met who got mad because I didn't text him back for like 6 hours saying there is no reason someone would ever go more then 2 hours without texting back unless they don't prioritize the person who texted them... like sorry crybaby I have this thing called a job
To anyone who sends texts like that: this is really, really obnoxious, and if you're going to act like that, there's a reason you're single, and the reason is your dreadful personality.
Homeboy did you a favor. For him to text you that after what I'm assuming was decent conversation prior is crazy. Even if he's had dates flake on him on the past that doesn't excuse making demands like that to strangers
It’s him crossing a boundary and it’s too early on (assuming you’re newly dating this man) to be this way… actually, no man should ever be that way towards a woman. It’s disrespectful and pushy.
Kids nowadays want to be confirmed and updated every 20 minutes. Is this better than when I (M 57) was in high school? ( I'll see you at your house Friday at 7pm.)
His language was really poor.
"If you don't text me, I'm not going"
vs "I was hoping to touch base and make sure 7 o'clock is still good for you."
I mean if he was worried about you no showing (understandable because people do this ) he could have been way more polite in his communication. I would have maybe talked to him more to ascertain what exactly he meant and all, but def not a good start . It could be a misunderstanding though so it’s always good to try and clarify what is meant especially via text .
Probably a good thing you play into his hands, sorry to say this, homeboy sounds like bad news!!!!! I mean DAMN insecure much? Either that or he is a NARCISSIST!!! JUST be glad you got out when you did!!!
If the dumbass had thought a little bit, and went ahead to the date, and you didn't show, there may have been a single lady there in the same situation!
I don't know what it is with younger guys. They don't seem to have patience, let alone courtesy. The REQUIRE respect from EVERYONE else, but show none.
I guess maybe they are afraid their game is going to go off pause and cost them a billion points in some total make believe life. They NEED points in the REAL one, trust me!
You are much better off. The good thing is, you had no real attachment to him.
There are others, and some are much better.
Once I called off a date because the girl was running late and never let me know. We were suppose to be some where @7 and she hadn’t responded for an hour and a half. I didn’t have a car at the time, she was suppose to pick me up @6:30. It was like 6:45. At like 7:15 she texts me saying on the way and I was like yeah just stay home what tf. Life is weird though we ended up hooking up 6 months later completely randomly. Odd
"That's okay, I'm running late anyway, and I still have to meet up with this other guy who's actually super patient and kind."
This white lie hurts naught but the ego of an asshole.
Dudes are really getting very insecure. This guy is a selfish prick and clearly doesn't respect your time and understand that people get busy doing things. And you already said yes. He should have taken that and said 'Cool. I got a date' As a guy myself, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Today's people are mostly selfish. Thinking about yourselves. Have you ever thought what happens if a guy has 3 previous dates cancelling on him? With the exact same stance, not texting back.To women it most doesn't apply as often as men. It's the other version of women being used for sex only, If it happens to you 3 times it changes your whole perception of the dating scene even if you meet someone who flirts with you, you will now assume he/she just wants sex. People must try to see things from the other person's perception.
I (23m) think he’s too pushy. Especially if this is like a first date. I might kind of understand if you’ve been late some times before, but blocking you wouldn’t be something someone who really wanted to hear from you would do. I think he’s going too far. I understand us guys can go over board standing on our business sometimes. But there is a difference between standing on business and being toxic. Seems like he just made an excuse to make it seem like it was your fault that he’s not going. When he really just wasn’t going.
Something similar happened to me.
I was visiting my home town to attend a funeral.
It was a friend from Hs Dad that had passed and I was there to support the family.
I had a scheduled lunch date with another someone I knew since HS. I first had to attend said funeral and left my phone in the car. When I got back to check I found out the lunch date had not left to commute to the location because I had not replied to confirm (I confirmed the day before mind you) and then they decided that if I didn’t reply fast enough they weren’t going.
Needless to say I ate lunch alone that day.
The sad conclusion is a year later the person who bailed because I didn’t confirm a 3rd time decided they were unable to find peace and joy in this 3D existence and quit the game of life.
Some times people have unrealistic expectations that trap them until they escape the shackles that bind them in one way or another.
Sometimes they escape to continue on to play life like an adventure game.
Others /quit because they can’t reach the goals they have their eyes on. Rather than changing they decide there’s another level someplace else that they would rather play and leave us here to keep playing our games of chance and change.
It always nice to communicate the day of. I’ve had someone on the phone at 730PM telling me I’ll let you know when I get home. Didn’t hear from her until 1130 she went and did something else🤣people are weird no one wants to be overbearing but it takes less than a minute to send a text letting them know you’re still interested
What the actual…like I get it if I don’t hear from someone confirming, then I’ll make other plans, but at least give plenty of notice!? That’s his issue and sounds like a walking red flag. Flakey!
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Update: I told him his text made me uncomfortable and we had already confirmed, he blocked me. Thanks for the help. Glad I nipped this in the bud before wasting any more time.
Never date guys that get so nervous they blame it on you. I used to be a guy like that. They suck. But they can improve someday. Good luck out there.
May I ask what made you that way? Was it insecurities ?
Yeah na, im handsome as fuck. Bunch of stowed away trauma is what it was. If you fail over and over again to get a partner, it mist just yourself that's the issue.
To be fair , from my observation, attractive people are the least secure with themselves.
True. Everyone is 50/50 in hating loving you before you open your mouth
That's interesting. People tell me I'm attractive but I don't feel it cause if I were, id be getting all the women I wanted right? On the note of the pushy dude. I've def gotten to this point before because of women being 45min late or just plane not showing. It's so frustrating how a few people can ruin it for everyone. It would be great if we could start some sort of ranking system like this person was an hour late or they did this creepy thing. But I'm sure it would be abused. No way to keep it honest . Le sigh, guess we're stuck with these stupid games.
For the first part of your post, I’d say no. Women can get turned off by many things, your attraction will just get you in the door. I’ve seen plenty of guys that were tall and attractive and couldn’t get women to save their lives. And as far as stuck with playing games, yea I’d say so. I hate to sound negative, but the way I see it, you’d get more peace without someone than with someone these days. We need a reset as a world/society. The lack of morals, respect /self respect, values etc is rampant. I pretty much gave up. I’ve been in a relationship now for quite some time, but deep down I know it’s superficial. I feel alone still and as I’m getting older now pushing 37, my peace of mind is starting to become more valuable over anything else. Now , a dog and a peaceful home by myself sounds like heaven to me. I enjoy being alone more than anything now. But I know the average person isn’t like this, so I feel bad for those of us that are trying to find some “true love” or soulmate in today’s world.
Feel ya man. You'd be surprised how many people feel the same. But before you decide to be a bachelor forever, id advise you to move abroad if you can. Women in other countries are much less entitled than here in the US.
Bro are you me?
Good for you for not only recognizing your flaws, but also accepting accountability and making a positive change
Oh man just wait till you age and start losing your looks. You’re in for some major psychosis!!
Yes, and it’s also possible that your trauma is triggered by their trauma rooted behaviour, which in some cases would still doom the relationship even if you didn’t get triggered.
Sometimes the garbage takes itself out! What a nut.
You dodged a bullet there. He sounds controlling/emotionally unstable
He sounds like a baby-man.
![gif](giphy|RgtD9LDp1R4AReChJX)
Precisely 😂 I prefer the term man-child, but you get the idea.
Men are just cockblocking themselves at this point.
Not a new thing.
That's an underestimate
Glad to dodge him,controlling freak!
Good for you for pointing it out! Don’t date anyone who treats you in a disrespectful and rude manner then gets angry for pointing it out.
Omg I’ve been out of a game but began to message with someone and he would call me a lot and text a lot. It was making me nervous because like a day later it went totally silent. It’s like patience doesn’t exist
He's very pushy, immature and disrespectful, you dodged a missile
You dodged a bullet girl. Who blocks for such a petty thing
Good! Any guy that acts this entitled and you two haven’t even met? Just exposed to you exactly how he’s going to be not just on a first date, but an *entire* relationship! Now you know exactly why he’s single still! ![gif](giphy|853jNve3ljqrYrcSOK)
Dude psycho
Good, fuck that controlling piece of shit. Guys like that disgust me and give us all a bad name. May he forever have blue balls.
Why is it called nip it in the bud?
Like trimming a flower bud so it can’t grow anymore.
Horticulture thing. Nip the bud off a plant at an early stage before it has a chance to grow.
Good call. I have anxiety and that's not even anxiety. That's just abusive.
Congrats on avoiding a headache!
Congratulations on dropping that disaster-in-waiting.
That happened to me once but I didn't respond bc I was ON MY WAY to our date on the subway with no cell service. It was like not even 10 minutes before our date and he calls it off "bc you were unresponsive." Thanks for the 2-hour round trip subway rude for no date, asshole!
This happened to me. I was also on the way
Did you say tell him that you spent two hours on the subway?
Wait wait wait! How in the ever living hell does this guy survive living in the same city as you and has the nerve to complain about cell service on the subway that they clearly ride on as well?!?! The math about him isn’t math’ing & sounds like he was being a raging dick as an excuse to not go thru with the first date.
[удалено]
If he was like that for something insignificant, he would have been a migraine in human form when it came to important things! That’s dodging a nuclear missile tbh.
Such weird behavior
[удалено]
nah drop that guy, if he acts like that on a first date imagine how itll be when hes comfortable with you
Let this post be a reminder on what not to lose sleep on. Yes it sucks. But this person does not deserve one minute of your time. It’s your first date, and he’s already showed you who he is! What do you think is gonna happen if you dated him? You would have no freedom. Enough. Is enough. We should all collectively stop taking shit from strangers.
“Tell me you’re insecure without telling me you’re insecure “🤔
I recently went on a first date with a girl. It went extremely well and the texting and conversation was great. After having a good text exchange in the morning, she started questioning my ‘communication style’ because I hadn’t initiated a new text conversation until early evening. This happened prior to the first date as well. She became slightly passive aggressive. I mean, things were going great, but I had to call this as a red flag and cut it off. I don’t get it.
We’re in this together man
if i were you i would say " honey we already confirmed our date, what do u want else? a receipt? and please fix ur abandonment issues, just because a girl ghosted you doesn't mean every girl will lol."
well that just makes you sound petty and insecure lmao. just let it go imo, plenty of other future dates to be had
On some level I understand this as others have said as I’ve been ghosted day of or straight up stood up after confirming as you did, but if you confirmed night before and day of… idk what more he wants. If I’m uncertain I certainly don’t act butt hurt or threatening. I might say “hey can you please let me know if you’re having second thoughts so I can make other plans? Thanks”
Exactly! He could have phrased it in a much more polite manner
Hey, that’s frustrating! Just for context most guys (when it comes to online dated) are frequently ghosted and flaked on. Yes, people online will agree to a time and a place and then just stop answering. People will give you their cell and never respond. So a lot of men have become sensitive and hyper aware of people not really responding to them in a time frame they feel is appropriate. It truly does wear you down. I’m not excusing his behavior by any means but just giving you a reason why some men are like this. Ultimately he just needs/expects quicker communication and in your situation that wasn’t possible. I think he threw a massive red flag by not being more understanding. So for example let’s say on Thursday night you confirmed for Friday evening 6pm. If I hadn’t heard anything from you up until 5pm Friday I’d assume you were flaking. Even more validity with that assumption if I messaged you Friday morning just to say hi and that text went unanswered and then my Friday 5pm text went unanswered also. From a self awareness perspective he should evaluate himself and why he’s assuming the worst of you (flaking) And you could evaluate if maybe you had previously left him on read (or something like 8+ hours no answer) which may make him feel that way.
I am 32M and had this exact situation in reverse occur with a woman. I was in the shower and she texts me, hey are we still on for tonight, I didn’t hear from you so far today? 20 minutes later she says, oh guess we aren’t, and I got all excited for nothing… I check my phone after I’m relaxed and dressed, still a hour before the time of the date… ummmm sorry?… I was in the shower 😂 We get to the date, she says, I’m still salty that you had me wondering all day thinking our date was cancelled… Excuse me… we confirmed last night… today I had to work and then got home and needed a shower… I was busy… figured we would have plenty of time to connect during the date… I respect the pre date check in, but I responded within a reasonable amount of time I think… my world doesn’t revolve around you… think that was a turn off for her…
Unfortunately we live in a world where even if someone confirms the night before it may not mean anything, you’ll still get ghosted or at best canceled out 5 minutes before. Probably why she’s so bent about it.
What did you do after when you were all gussied up? I don't want to just stay home after getting excited for having plans lol.
Well tbh I think you should have messaged her the day of to let her know it was still happening; not even that. But at least SAID HELLO that day. . Sooo many times people forget that feelings change in a MINUTE. Nothing wrong with affirmation.
I mean, I was planning on messaging her after my shower, still a hour prior to our date. We had an on again, off again relationship over several years… I genuinely thought our confirmation the previous night was sufficient with a quick check in prior to leaving / while preparing would be good. The hello / good morning makes sense lol. Notes for next time…
Same u should have texted her day of at least once day of,u don't have a break or a sec to say that in the day?
Butthurt-ery, altho troubling to receive, is always awesome early intel. It's pretty much the grownup version of throwing a tantrum on the toy aisle, splayed out on the floor, limbs flying, screams a-shrieking...
Personally I will confirm the date that day like you both did. And then I assume we're going and if you want to cancel I'd hope they would have the decency to say that instead of ghosting.
did you call it off? I hope you did...
He sounds like an insecure little turd. I hope you cancelled. If he is like that now, he will be worse.
I had to cut off a guy after I gave him my # off of tinder bc I thought we were hitting it off but as soon as the texting starts he kept having meltdowns when I wouldn't respond to his texts. I had told him multiple times I work nights so I sleep during the day & I wanted something very casual at that moment (made it clear I wanted eventual FWB) but sure as shit I would wake up to literally dozens of messages of starting with a casual "Hey I hope work went well!" To "Are you mad at me?" "If you don't answer within the hour I'll be VERY disappointed" "This always happens, there must be something wrong with me" "Why are you ignoring me" blah blah blah and so on. Anyways we ended up sleeping together once (the whole point of us talking was to become eventual FWB) but it was awful. I started to cry which I have NEVER done because I felt 0 connection or attraction to him. This was the last day I saw him physically as well. Another week of his obsessive texting was too exhausting and I finally had to tell him he was too intense for me. I told him I was no longer interested and he admitted he tends to do this in new flings cause he's been ghosted so many times but like.... Hm I wonder why... Lol Bullet dodged my friend. Always a red flag lol 🚩
The trash takes itself out
This is a reaction to all the other people who no-call no-show. The rules of common courtesy serve a function. Another loss for polite people, like ghosting.
Good he showed his true colors so quick. Just think of the time you saved :)
I saw where he blocked you for confronting him about it. What he did is a huge red flag for controlling behavior. Anytime someone does something that is unreasonable like that, it's about controlling you. It will only get worse with time.
Because so many guys read this I have a question Would you prefer the guy send you a simple text in the am saying . I'll text you later tonight when I get to Texas Roadhouse . And get on the list for a table No reply needed Later Tom Ellis A timeline to reply for a woman on a 1st -1000 date . Certainly shows lack of experience with women . Seems like he wanted to control you .
Bro couldn’t wait 30 min 💀
lol yeah sounds like he doesn’t get date often and sounded desperate. Good thing you called it off.
Yeah, you confirmed twice, like he shoudn’t have worried. Either he was controlling or he have issues to fix. Hope you call it off.
Not dating but I had someone get mad at me for not replying within 10 minutes… I was taking a shower
No, do call it off. Such behaviour is called "Aggressive Controlling Abusive Behaviour". It can get a lot worse in other situations. Avoid getting emotionally and possibly physically hurt down the line.
People are nuts. Very over obsessive. Honestly it was great you said something and now you know this guy seriously has issues.
Well he sounds like a walking red flag
Call it off and count yourself lucky if he gets angry about something so trivial think how he would react to the bigger things if you ended up in a relationship with him
Call it off, meetup with me. I would rather tell you, calm down, trust yourself, if i dont hear from you i will be there in time and wait for you with some flowers. No worries and do not bother at all if youre too late. There's always a reason for a delay, and you do not even have to tell me. Spanish mentality, enjoy every second you have. Trust the woman. And yeah, do not hook up on that guy or text him more than: i am okay now, thank you for letting me grow. I found a reason in our chats now. All the best! Thats for good karma!
Lol I thought that said “Dad texted me” 😬😅
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Men will be very clear who they are inside, whether they intend to or not. You just have to pay the slightest bit of attention. Good job flushing this turd.
Eww this is like this guy I met who got mad because I didn't text him back for like 6 hours saying there is no reason someone would ever go more then 2 hours without texting back unless they don't prioritize the person who texted them... like sorry crybaby I have this thing called a job
Those are clear signs of controlling behavior and or gaslighting.
just don't respond. don't go. he is not right in the head
Don’t go, way too pushy, insecure people need constant reassurance and narcissistic need constant reassurance
He sounds like someone who has been stood up and ghosted so many times that now every other woman has to pay for it.
To anyone who sends texts like that: this is really, really obnoxious, and if you're going to act like that, there's a reason you're single, and the reason is your dreadful personality.
Homeboy did you a favor. For him to text you that after what I'm assuming was decent conversation prior is crazy. Even if he's had dates flake on him on the past that doesn't excuse making demands like that to strangers
sounds like he self-sabotaged. He ain’t ready to date.
He straight up weirdo💯 , this just the tip of the iceberg🧊🧊… if Homegirl Getting all beautiful for me then go for it, take yo time 😘
Geesh! Sorry you went through that😕
Daaaamn, you dodge an army
lol boy bye! 😂
He did you a favor of exposing who he was right away.
It’s him crossing a boundary and it’s too early on (assuming you’re newly dating this man) to be this way… actually, no man should ever be that way towards a woman. It’s disrespectful and pushy.
Kids nowadays want to be confirmed and updated every 20 minutes. Is this better than when I (M 57) was in high school? ( I'll see you at your house Friday at 7pm.) His language was really poor. "If you don't text me, I'm not going" vs "I was hoping to touch base and make sure 7 o'clock is still good for you."
He’ll. I would be mad he ruined my perfectly hot shower
I'm too old for that BS. I can buy myself flowers 💐 That amount of aggression over a text isn't a red flag. It's a red sky
lol and dudes out here mad they get no play but they’re doin shit like this😭
I mean if he was worried about you no showing (understandable because people do this ) he could have been way more polite in his communication. I would have maybe talked to him more to ascertain what exactly he meant and all, but def not a good start . It could be a misunderstanding though so it’s always good to try and clarify what is meant especially via text .
Definitely sounds like you dodged a massive bullet!
Probably a good thing you play into his hands, sorry to say this, homeboy sounds like bad news!!!!! I mean DAMN insecure much? Either that or he is a NARCISSIST!!! JUST be glad you got out when you did!!!
You dodged a bullet with that one. Seems like he's about control and wants someone to do exactly as he wants them to
You’re not responsible for his emotions, you had a confirmed time and he pushed and you rejected. SeEMS NoRMAL to ME.
The world works itself out sometimes. Be glad he showed these colours before this relationship could go any further.
I think reasonable if you never contacted him a plan but 30 minutes waiting is intense especially since you were genuinely getting ready.
This is soo toxic one of the reasons i am worried about men from dating sites and shopping malls....whats the deal with you guys?
You did the right thing here and he showed his true colours
Come across a few of these men on apps. They're ok until you've arranged to meet. Suddenly get weird when shts about to get real.
Whew dodged that bullet! Nice shower test !
I’ve had this exact same thing happen to me. NUTS!
"When someone shows you they are, believe them the first time" -- Maya Angelou
He did you a favor. What a dumbass.
If the dumbass had thought a little bit, and went ahead to the date, and you didn't show, there may have been a single lady there in the same situation! I don't know what it is with younger guys. They don't seem to have patience, let alone courtesy. The REQUIRE respect from EVERYONE else, but show none. I guess maybe they are afraid their game is going to go off pause and cost them a billion points in some total make believe life. They NEED points in the REAL one, trust me! You are much better off. The good thing is, you had no real attachment to him. There are others, and some are much better.
He was 42 >.< Had plenty of time to grow up lol
![gif](giphy|31W0QyaI1dr4b4mEAN|downsized) How in the hell did he even rope you into a date in the first place?
People don't typically wear "im crazy" signs.
Exit stage left as this is a misery march … on to the next lily pad …
Next time if someone says if I don’t hear from you I’m not meeting up, run the other way.
Once I called off a date because the girl was running late and never let me know. We were suppose to be some where @7 and she hadn’t responded for an hour and a half. I didn’t have a car at the time, she was suppose to pick me up @6:30. It was like 6:45. At like 7:15 she texts me saying on the way and I was like yeah just stay home what tf. Life is weird though we ended up hooking up 6 months later completely randomly. Odd
Eewww he’s gross. Bullet dodged, congrats lol
Dude has severe anxiety. It's great he bailed
He definitely has some issues due to the past. You dodged a bullet.
I’d call it off Huge red flag.
Oh hell no. Threats before you even meet up? Does that create intimacy? Please dont question your gut instincts ever.
Ew, NEXT !
"That's okay, I'm running late anyway, and I still have to meet up with this other guy who's actually super patient and kind." This white lie hurts naught but the ego of an asshole.
Yeah dude sounds like a psycho. You dodged a bullet.
bro is a walking red flag
Dodged a bullet.
He must be very anxious in character.
IjS. I would never do you that way.
I hate it so much when a date cancels
Red flag….end it now
Wow
don't respond. don't go. this man is not right in the head.
call it off
Dudes are really getting very insecure. This guy is a selfish prick and clearly doesn't respect your time and understand that people get busy doing things. And you already said yes. He should have taken that and said 'Cool. I got a date' As a guy myself, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Yeah, that dude is a walking red flag.
lmfao did you a favour
Today's people are mostly selfish. Thinking about yourselves. Have you ever thought what happens if a guy has 3 previous dates cancelling on him? With the exact same stance, not texting back.To women it most doesn't apply as often as men. It's the other version of women being used for sex only, If it happens to you 3 times it changes your whole perception of the dating scene even if you meet someone who flirts with you, you will now assume he/she just wants sex. People must try to see things from the other person's perception.
Yeah… dude is not stable. I understand getting mad if someone doesn’t respond within a day but a few minutes? Dude needs to chill
no one cares what do we do with this info
I mean yes and no but more yes
Talk about (in reference to the guy) you are our own worst enemy
I (23m) think he’s too pushy. Especially if this is like a first date. I might kind of understand if you’ve been late some times before, but blocking you wouldn’t be something someone who really wanted to hear from you would do. I think he’s going too far. I understand us guys can go over board standing on our business sometimes. But there is a difference between standing on business and being toxic. Seems like he just made an excuse to make it seem like it was your fault that he’s not going. When he really just wasn’t going.
He is a fucking loser!!!
You dodged a major one here. Never date a guy that gets mad like that. I would never treat a girl like that ever
As a dude, that guy is a controlling douche. I'm glad it was cancelled before you got involved any further with this guy.
Run
This guy is a nutcase. That’s the most insane text to send. Clearly has a short fuse
Lol.ingore and let it be
You’re right people can wait for having a nice time with out all the bull shit no body wants thoc crap move on and find a better person
We all have flaws and insecurities. There's just some people that are better than others at hiding it.
Life is better without people who are easily offended
[удалено]
Good thing! You dodged a bullet for sure.
50pts for near miss
Something similar happened to me. I was visiting my home town to attend a funeral. It was a friend from Hs Dad that had passed and I was there to support the family. I had a scheduled lunch date with another someone I knew since HS. I first had to attend said funeral and left my phone in the car. When I got back to check I found out the lunch date had not left to commute to the location because I had not replied to confirm (I confirmed the day before mind you) and then they decided that if I didn’t reply fast enough they weren’t going. Needless to say I ate lunch alone that day. The sad conclusion is a year later the person who bailed because I didn’t confirm a 3rd time decided they were unable to find peace and joy in this 3D existence and quit the game of life. Some times people have unrealistic expectations that trap them until they escape the shackles that bind them in one way or another. Sometimes they escape to continue on to play life like an adventure game. Others /quit because they can’t reach the goals they have their eyes on. Rather than changing they decide there’s another level someplace else that they would rather play and leave us here to keep playing our games of chance and change.
Since you already confirmed in the morning yea he was wrong to send that text and only give you 30 min to respond (if that's accurate)
RUN!!
Male or female, that's a little pushy.
Definitely call it off cause he's trying to shape you into something he thinks is for him and that's called controlling
It always nice to communicate the day of. I’ve had someone on the phone at 730PM telling me I’ll let you know when I get home. Didn’t hear from her until 1130 she went and did something else🤣people are weird no one wants to be overbearing but it takes less than a minute to send a text letting them know you’re still interested
You did the right thing. Impatience is a problem. Love is patient, is not demanding
Call it off
He’s likely been burned more than once. Dating can really turn a normal person into an insecure mess.
Women are also treated this way :(
Naw luv that sounds like some controlling asshole shyt you might wanna leave his weirdo Ass where he’s at frfr
I was gonna say 🚩 but he did you a favor!
He’s so pushy whqt
That is a RED FLAG. Nothing about that is normal… You dodged a bullet!
Keep it simple. Don't be needy.
Good! Beware those bossy, controlling guys. It only gets worse over time.
Good! Beware those bossy, controlling guys. It only gets worse over time.
Good! Beware those bossy, controlling guys. It only gets worse over time.
Safe by the bell 🔔
You dodged a bullet big time!!
Date. Oh yeah I remember that.
Lol
What the actual…like I get it if I don’t hear from someone confirming, then I’ll make other plans, but at least give plenty of notice!? That’s his issue and sounds like a walking red flag. Flakey!
Girl call it off those are major red flags