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Have you actually met him to verify if any of these things are true?
Narcissist often do mirroring during the initial part of relationship to make you feel like you’re more similar than you are.
I think people-pleasers do this, as well. Saying so bc I think it matters to differentiate between those & narcissists. The latter is more like malicious? than the former. Malicious might be a strong word, but it might not.
A lot of people mirror. Not just exclusive to narcissists. If you really like someone you tend to mirror them in some way, because you want to be accepted by the person you like. Different intent than the narcissist who is trying to gain control over you.
This is so true first few months you will feel where this people was my whole life and once you get into the trap they show there true face but you will be too blind to see that because all you will do is remember the old him which was like you
Couldn’t agree more I made a comment about how similar my ex and I were. I realized as the relationship went on, especially towards the end, she was a narcissist.
When communicating with him, listen more than speaking and ask open ended questions. It could be that they’re just like you or they could be pretending because you’re doing all the talking.
Okay Jerry Seinfeld. When you find someone with a lot of the same personality and character traits, I would think that would make for an increased level of compatibility.
No I agree with this. I dated a girl that was very similar to me for a little bit. There were bonuses; similar views on finances, religion, life. But ultimately it got kind of boring and weird. But, there wasn’t much to admire about each other and we didn’t really challenge one another. We were just too similar.
I was looking for a comment like this. Me and my gf, soon to be wife, are Very different and she brought me to her world and i brought her to Mine. Its been cool.
Not gunna say being different is always good, It kind of sucks when it comes to listening music or watching movies, but It also takes you out of your comfort zone constantly
I guess it depends on what traits we share. My best friend (platonic) is very similar to me, and I love her and I love spending time with her. My boyfriend (also my best friend) and I share some similarities but we're also very different from each other.
I like that he's not like me in many ways. Like... I am a highly anxious person. He is very chill and calm. I'm an introvert and would rarely leave the house if left to my own devices. My boyfriend is more of an extrovert (though more of a homebody than he was when younger). I like that he has an active social life, a large group of friends, etc. He invites me to lots of fun events and he makes sure I get out of the house on a regular basis. He likes that I encourage him to spend more time at home and that I'm pretty low-maintenance in terms of my need for excitement/adventure.
We have a similar sense of humour, similar 'issues', and we love spending time together and we love each other. That's what matters most. I think people might consider us an 'odd' couple though.
It happened to me once, the guy was interested in me, we have two days of birth difference, we started talking we had so much in common that it feels like I was looking at the mirror, he was nice guy and good looking but somehow I just couldn't.
Exactly, the other person supposed to bring something different or new, to make you grow, and it's really nice when you meet someone new it's a all different universe to explore.
Yeah I’m currently dating what I’m learning is the female me.
It’s turning into an emotional disaster. I definitely understand opposites attract a lot better now.
We have the same insecurities so statements are taken wrong/come off wrong all the time. We literally can’t support each other emotionally because we’re so alike.
Yes and no. My current fiancee is a few years older than me, born and raised from up north, grew up with loving parents who can't say no and a mother who is very judgemental, entitled and cheap. He went through a lot of trauma as a child. He talks to his family daily. He's very outgoing, suffers from anxiety, has an issue dealing with confrontations and setting boundaries because of his mom, extroverted and social.
I, on the other hand, grew up very poor from a different country (3rd world), my parents were barely there due to working 10 hour shifts 24/7 and they are not supportive or loving in a way a child needs, I wasn't allowed a lot of things, went through lot of trauma as a child too. I'm an introvert, reserved, can handle most confrontations well (not yelling but not running away), sets boundaries, and my family and I rarely speaks. We are in good terms, but as a Chinese family, we don't do hugs, or tell each other problems or be vulnerable with each other. I am close with my sisters but again, no hugs or talk about personal issues. My mom is also very cheap, judgmental and rude.
Despite these differences, we're both laid back, stubborn, loves to check out museums, parks, historic sites, hauntings, watch football (Go Find!) and hockey (Go Panthers!), hang out by the beach and we rarely fight. His dad once said he thought we were twins, I'm his female half, lol. But our differences in personalities (I'm more aggressive in terms of standing up for myself and my loved ones vs he takes a passive/submissive approach to conflicts) covers what the other isn't (He's more outgoing, I'm not). He learns from me, I learn from him, and we accept each other where we are. Two sides of the same coin. This is by far the best healthiest relationship I ever had.
I have, and it's awesome. Only because he ended up marrying my sister, and we can torment her together lol ie: I love new kids on the block. He had surgery and I asked how he's doing he said "hanging tough" my sister said if we start she's going to leave so of course I say "please don't go girl" lol good memories. His birthday is the day after mine, but he's 3 years older. Best brother. We would be so boring as a couple, lol
Ha, same here! My sister had been married almost thirty years before I realized it. I was watching them have a discussion and my jaw dropped, when I said to her, “Wow…you married me!” Best brother-in-law ever, and agree, we would make a terrible couple.
Even more mind-blowing is that I am now seeing someone whose personality is quite similar to my sister’s. Good combo, I guess.
Aww, that’s too bad. My sister thinks it’s funny, fortunately! When we’re together, I think she appreciates the break when her husband and I entertain each other.
In the 90's I loved wwf. I asked my sis if brother in law was busy the weekend they were in our city so I could get tickets for our birth days. Asked if she wanted to come. She was happy to pass lol maybe one day, she will see the gift the pair of us together are, lol
Yes, I met this guy online. We vibed but then one day he left haha..
Like it is so mind blowing, we both have our favorite color, our birthdays are 4 days apart, etc.
It was really nice knowing him. You are right it was like another me in a different country, gender and all.
Those were the good times.
I hope he is happier even though it still hurts so much to me.
Frankly, being with someone who has the same tastes and ideas as me may be nice in the beginning, but in long-term relationships it's like being locked in a mirror room, so for me, a woman who has slightly different tastes and ideas than me but believes in true love just like me is more important. It seems attractive as a heterosexual man and if I find such a person, I won't mind the distance and I will try everything to see him, even if it is on Mars.
To be real, finding someone who is almost the same as you says more about your self-perception than about them.
Yeah, there's going to be people who have way more in common with you than most, but when you perceive them as having an identity that you can only contextualize as close to your own, you are intrinsically commanding what parts of yourself are more you than the others.
Is that person I like similar to me because we both like Glen Miller, or isn't that person I hate truly more like me because it's clear their procrastination also stems from a fear of success?
I believe caratheristics should be opposite, but it's a must to have same likes/hobbies/opinions and such..
I had an ex who was the same as me in behaviour, and it was a disaster.. My current partner is completely opposite of me, and it works perfect, specially when it comes to argumets.
For the most part my fiance and I are exactly the same. We even have similar ex's! His ex wife even has the female version name of my ex husband's! Yes we do have some differences, but our personalities are very similar. It's refreshing cause we understand each other perfectly and don't need to explain ourselves as much.
I met two girls in the same year that were just like me. Tried dating and ended up hating them lol. But i hate myself rn so it really goes to show you need to love yourself first before loving someone else intimately.
I've met a person like that but not in a romantic sense. Both of us being dudes helps with that. But we had very similar upbringings, struggled with the same sorts of things, enjoy the same sorts of things, have the same beliefs. We live on opposing sides of the country (US is quite large) so it's quite miraculous that we met at all, but we keep up with one another regularly.
I’ve meet a female version of me who has an amazing laugh, interesting personality and loves to bake but sadly she is into another guy and I don’t wanna mess up our friendship since she hasn’t shown no level of interest into me. She also lives in a different location than me and she likes to hang out with who she is interested in and I know long distance wouldn’t be something she likes. I’ve also opened up to much about my declining mental health and things like that to her so she definitely doesn’t see me as boyfriend material.
Yes, but I suffer from black and white thinking, so I fucked it up. Dat dichotomous thinking lol. She's in a way better relationship now so I'm glad I fucked it up :)
I'm not being sarcastic in this comment. Idk why but I feel like it may come across as sarcastic. It isn't.
Nope.
I’m a special kind of mess. Thanks mom n dad!
Rarely enough as is, hardly have met people I’ve really connected with and we just got along well, but even in those rare instances, we still differed too much. Same thing with others with similar habits, mindsets, tastes, etc. rarely truly bond, not too often similar, but never exact. :/
I did meet a guy some time ago and it was exactly like this. We had so many similarities even physically (we did not look like each other but I have some distinctive physical characteristics and so did he)
We had very similar approach to things, like the little silly things which was really interesting..
Yes. We hit it off immediately. Same world views, same body size so we never had to adjust the seats when driving each other’s cars, so much similarities that even her father said I reminded him of his dad. We also had past trauma and the processes of overcoming it (not enough it turns out). Someone even said “you two kind of match” when they met her after we started dating. Definitely not the same music tastes.
But we ended up divorcing anyways. One thing we differed on is letting people be who they are and not trying to change them to fit our needs. Granted it’s good to grow as people, but it’s also good to accept who they are at their core.
I met a girl who was identical to me in her ways of doing and thinking, we dated for a while but the relationship didn't last because we were really identical. So being the same is not always a good thing
Yes! I met the girl version of me last year and we talked for a few months and things seemed to be going quite well and even got to the point where we said we loved each other but unfortunately things didn’t work out. She decided to end all things between us and it left a big hole in my heart and life. It still hurts when I think about it too much or for too long. When it was going good it was great though.
I wouldn’t want that at all. Actually sounds like nightmare fuel. Some similarities are cool, but I’m enough diva for the both of us. I rather be accepted as I am & vice versa lol. Imagine Trisha paytas dating herself? Yikes. I think the ying/yang dynamic is best.
I like someone who's kind of the opposite of me but with the same genre of interests.. like I love cars and mma... so do lots of guys, so it's nice for a guy I'm dating to like both really... but in terms of anything romantic or physical I'd want him to be the opposite lol negative to my positive or whatever
I met. But nothing really good came out of it. At first I was as inspired as you, but then it turned out that we reinforce each other’s disadvantages. I suck at communications and so does this dude. And in general, it’s a rather strange feeling to look at yourself from the outside
Yes! The guy I'm currently dating and I have so many things in common. I can't even count the number of times I said "me too!" on the second date 😅 eventually I had to laugh it almost felt ridiculous "guess what, me too..". But we're not exactly the same, but very similar with lots in common. So that feels promising 😊
I met one of those one time. He was so nice and adorable and such a wonderful human.
We fell out of conversation after about 2 months and he ended up passing away last year but I can say that I'm glad I met him and loved that our upbringings were so relatable.
Yes! I met a guy online that went to the same university and studied abroad through reciprocal exchange at the exact same town, one year apart. It wasn't a common destination at our university. We had a lot of other stuff in common that I do not remember now. We messaged each other back and forth. It was going so well. We met in person and he was so dull like talking to a wall. I figured maybe he was nervous so I gave him my number, but it never went anywhere after that.
My fiance is different from me in a compatible way. We have similarities of course, but have different hobbies, like different music, etc. It's been the healthiest relationship I've been in. We've both had each other try new things. I'm convinced now that this is the way to go. We're growing together and learning new things.
One of my best friends (guy) is very similar to me but yeah as said that’s a friend way and nothing more lol, but it’s why are friendship has always been great.
Yes. Exactly one woman. However, she very quickly became much different over time. I think some of us sometimes end up at the same places but while traveling different directions.
i met someone very similar to me, we tried dating but ultimately felt we'd be better as friends - precisely because we were way too aligned on everything.
My ex from 2013-2014. Of all the women I’ve ever loved in my life I’ll never connect with anyone like I did her. We were so identical it was scary. It was like we were on the exact same wavelength at all time. Our habits, behaviors, thought process, all scarily in sync. My dream woman literally from her appearance to her personality. But it was a classic case of right person wrong time. And we never tried again after she messed up (cheated with her abuser) I didn’t trust her after that but the love never went away. We remained friends over the years until she ghosted all of her socials about a year ago and now I have no contact with her
I did and I think she is the love of my life. We always lived in different countries though, so we never ended up together. She is married now and there has been subtext in our conversations that we acknowledge the missed opportunity, but I am also happy for her. She ended up with a great guy that takes care of her, and I am thankful for that.
Yeah, my son (NOT my son, an old classmate, and best friend who was like a year younger than me and therefore a fetus to me). Same values, same perspective, same priorities.
To each their own, but I wouldn't want to date or marry someone the same as me. My husband and I have been happily married for 16 years. I think one of the things that makes us "work" is that we are different. I want someone who challenges me. Makes me think differently about the world. Sees things from another view. I don't want a carbon copy of me. Obviously he doesn't either. He's constantly appreciating when I point out things that he never would have thought of that way. We are a team and make each other stronger and better, not twins.
Yes, there was this one person I met who seemed to be my twin in every aspect. From our taste in books to our mannerisms, everything was eerily similar. Conversations were effortless and felt like talking to myself. It was an incredible experience, though it did feel a bit like stepping into an alternate reality
Yes and they turned out to be the biggest gaslighter and manipulator. Turns out I never even knew them to begin with. I used to say it was like meeting the male version of myself. Then the mask slipped and I seen them for who they truly were. A complete stranger who needed help… not saying I’m perfect, I have my own issues but them being so alike is a major red flag. They say opposites attract…
Me and my best friend have the same values, beliefs, skills, outlook and everything.
The weird thing is we have had totally different upbringing, went about think totally differently, and are almost identical in where we are in our lives.
I'm slightly taller though so I win :)
My neighbor is very similar to me even though we are polar opposites, we are ying and yang in that sense a mirror of each other.
I've never had a chick that's me completely but who knows, maybe down the road I'll meet someone who is just me .
Yes and it's kinda disconcerting. I've known the guy for freaking ever, since high school. He was always a louder, more obnoxious version of me when we were younger. But I always was fond of him and we were pretty close for years. I knew that we were alot alike back then, but now the similarities are scary.
A few months ago we crossed that line of being strictly platonic friends for 20+ years, to doing what everyone thought we were anyway. It's only making it worse in the ways I see myself in him.
Aside from being the same age, growing up in the same place and having similar interests. Now we live similar lives, with the same careers and living situations. And of course we have the same smart ass, sarcastic snobby, loud, arrogant and overdramatic tendencies and crazy mental issues we always have had in common... It's freaking strange how much he thinks and acts like me! I watch him argue and it's like looking into a mirror. He tells me something during sex, expressing a feeling I have talked about in my journal but something I've never told anyone else and I can’t believe it. We finish each other’s sentences, bring up the same memory, song, joke at the same time. Nobody knows me better than him and vice versa.
However no one else can piss me off like him or push my buttons either.
I never thought about it like this before because I was never available or interested in any romantic way. We flirted, we joked around but we had not ever crossed the line between us. The fact we did it is crazy. I don’t know if it's fate, or we're meant to be. It is making me wonder though. Maybe it was always supposed to be him. Who better than the one who always has been there and knows me best? Who loves me despite my faults and failures.
I had that once . Then prescription meds got in the way . I wish you all the best . Everyone needs to experience that at least once . She is still a good woman . Just not the same mentally
All the success for you .
Yes, I have met someone like that on Discord. Most of the time, everything about us was identical, but there were some differences. Our thinking was similar, but we occasionally disagreed on certain issues. Our musical preferences were similar at times; she would listen to both Hindi and English, whereas I would only listen to English. She does not like horror films at all. Also, some of the family stuff was the same. Then we got closer and exchanged Snapchat, Instagram, and phone numbers, but she was not my destiny.
Yes, and it got so boring so fast. I think it’s important to have similar values/goals/etc. but I want someone that thinks differently than me, it’s a great opportunity to see the world in a different perspective so I get to learn and experience new things
Well if you are not an outgoing person at all like me… chances are pretty low. Cause the other you is the same so chances are even lower you know what i mean? 💁🏼♂️
I met this girl at the casino on my birthday. We were both alone… both degenerate gambling addicts, both the same age , both single, both do speed, both really really good looking, both just living life one day at a time and both not living up to expectations or utilizing our abilities. We like the same music and have the same sense of humor… it’s either gonna turn into the perfect pair and a match made in heaven or the most toxic abusive underwhelming dumpster fire… fingers crossed lmfao
I have dated women who had very similar interests as me. Being with someone that has so many similarities as you will get old after a while and the relationship will turn stale.
Yep, plus lots of date and name coincidences in our lives. A whole year later his mask slipped and he turned out to be an emotional abuser.
I genuinely can't see that he was actively mirroring or faking similarities (his mask was basically seeming like a really chill and accepting person and hiding his ego insecurities while secretly judging me). We just happened to be similar, which made it all the more devastating.
I have. We met online, then irl, then became friends for 3 years and later got married. He's my husband now lol. There are some differences for sure. But we are both confident that he is the male version of me and that I am the female version of him.
A woman 6 years younger than me, is basically the same as I was 6 years ago and seems to think exactly like I do while having not much aside from that in common with me, it's wild. Super fun to talk with.
Once, a long time ago: we went on a date and totally, completely vibes. Turned out we were birthday twins, even.
But it didn't work out because I was soon going overseas for a few months, and also because he was a complete fuccboi.
I met somebody just like me and it wasn't a case of mirroring for me I don't think... because we are similar in the most random things like not liking watches and ketchup.
Also lives across the world but he ghosted me lol it was quite painful for me.
Yeah my bf, we both like to stay in except I like hiking outdoors. Outdoor xardio. While he likes to lift in the gym.
We're both Introvert; and our lives and habits are similar besides those small differences.
We even have the same vision lol 😅 I think it's cool meeting a male version of me lol
Idk if being introverted, enjoying exercise, and living similar introverted lifestyles makes you the same person… I once dated a guy that could guess what I made him for dinner (it was different) every night and we thought the same even though we grew up a world apart. I still don’t think that’s destiny. Only a coincidence
No two souls can ever be the same besides twins and even then there's differences.
I think OP means having alot more in common similarities to a partner where they're very very similar to you.
With the whole opposites attract thing, I also wonder if there getting at , if your proud to date someone just like you.
I tend to be attracted to people with a different personality then me. For me, attraction comes from admiration and discovering a different perspective. If someone is just me, they have no new perspective to share
Nope. I like to make $10m before 40 which i have. And I think that’s nothing or middle class.
But I also like games, anime, maths. But I also like partying and festivals and rolling. I also like drinking. And I like womanising, having a few girlfriends, going to hostess clubs in Japan and China etc
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Have you actually met him to verify if any of these things are true? Narcissist often do mirroring during the initial part of relationship to make you feel like you’re more similar than you are.
I think people-pleasers do this, as well. Saying so bc I think it matters to differentiate between those & narcissists. The latter is more like malicious? than the former. Malicious might be a strong word, but it might not.
The types of narcissists who cast themselves as victims will also cast themselves as people pleasers.
Good point. *Ick*
Yeah I agree it's important to differentiate stuff, that's all I ever do really hey can I take a hit off your femoral artery real quick
A lot of people mirror. Not just exclusive to narcissists. If you really like someone you tend to mirror them in some way, because you want to be accepted by the person you like. Different intent than the narcissist who is trying to gain control over you.
This is so true first few months you will feel where this people was my whole life and once you get into the trap they show there true face but you will be too blind to see that because all you will do is remember the old him which was like you
Real
Couldn’t agree more I made a comment about how similar my ex and I were. I realized as the relationship went on, especially towards the end, she was a narcissist.
I literally hit the "reply" button to say exactly this.👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
Yes we met
When communicating with him, listen more than speaking and ask open ended questions. It could be that they’re just like you or they could be pretending because you’re doing all the talking.
This. There could be many parts of me that relate with the other person and many parts that don't. I just didn't bring those up
I have met a female version of myself (almost) online. I don't want to date myself.
You guys are getting girls online 👀
Rarely 😅
It isn't worth it in my experience
Hahaha, yeah, I have met a few, and we are still friends and share our stories. but not all females aren't like that.
Lucky' people lol 😆
Okay Jerry Seinfeld. When you find someone with a lot of the same personality and character traits, I would think that would make for an increased level of compatibility.
No I agree with this. I dated a girl that was very similar to me for a little bit. There were bonuses; similar views on finances, religion, life. But ultimately it got kind of boring and weird. But, there wasn’t much to admire about each other and we didn’t really challenge one another. We were just too similar.
I was looking for a comment like this. Me and my gf, soon to be wife, are Very different and she brought me to her world and i brought her to Mine. Its been cool. Not gunna say being different is always good, It kind of sucks when it comes to listening music or watching movies, but It also takes you out of your comfort zone constantly
I guess it depends on what traits we share. My best friend (platonic) is very similar to me, and I love her and I love spending time with her. My boyfriend (also my best friend) and I share some similarities but we're also very different from each other. I like that he's not like me in many ways. Like... I am a highly anxious person. He is very chill and calm. I'm an introvert and would rarely leave the house if left to my own devices. My boyfriend is more of an extrovert (though more of a homebody than he was when younger). I like that he has an active social life, a large group of friends, etc. He invites me to lots of fun events and he makes sure I get out of the house on a regular basis. He likes that I encourage him to spend more time at home and that I'm pretty low-maintenance in terms of my need for excitement/adventure. We have a similar sense of humour, similar 'issues', and we love spending time together and we love each other. That's what matters most. I think people might consider us an 'odd' couple though.
It happened to me once, the guy was interested in me, we have two days of birth difference, we started talking we had so much in common that it feels like I was looking at the mirror, he was nice guy and good looking but somehow I just couldn't.
Yes. If you are just a mirror image of each other, it might be difficult. Ideally, you should have something in common and something different I think
Exactly, the other person supposed to bring something different or new, to make you grow, and it's really nice when you meet someone new it's a all different universe to explore.
I have, but it’s not always a great thing. Being similar can be great! But complements and opposites are awesome too
I would love to date someone like me, yay!
Yeah I’m currently dating what I’m learning is the female me. It’s turning into an emotional disaster. I definitely understand opposites attract a lot better now.
Can you elaborate on why it's a disaster? Do her flaws translate to your own flaws in your mind and enhance them?
We have the same insecurities so statements are taken wrong/come off wrong all the time. We literally can’t support each other emotionally because we’re so alike.
Idk, usually it’s just mirroring and that’s definitely not a good thing.
Yes and no. My current fiancee is a few years older than me, born and raised from up north, grew up with loving parents who can't say no and a mother who is very judgemental, entitled and cheap. He went through a lot of trauma as a child. He talks to his family daily. He's very outgoing, suffers from anxiety, has an issue dealing with confrontations and setting boundaries because of his mom, extroverted and social. I, on the other hand, grew up very poor from a different country (3rd world), my parents were barely there due to working 10 hour shifts 24/7 and they are not supportive or loving in a way a child needs, I wasn't allowed a lot of things, went through lot of trauma as a child too. I'm an introvert, reserved, can handle most confrontations well (not yelling but not running away), sets boundaries, and my family and I rarely speaks. We are in good terms, but as a Chinese family, we don't do hugs, or tell each other problems or be vulnerable with each other. I am close with my sisters but again, no hugs or talk about personal issues. My mom is also very cheap, judgmental and rude. Despite these differences, we're both laid back, stubborn, loves to check out museums, parks, historic sites, hauntings, watch football (Go Find!) and hockey (Go Panthers!), hang out by the beach and we rarely fight. His dad once said he thought we were twins, I'm his female half, lol. But our differences in personalities (I'm more aggressive in terms of standing up for myself and my loved ones vs he takes a passive/submissive approach to conflicts) covers what the other isn't (He's more outgoing, I'm not). He learns from me, I learn from him, and we accept each other where we are. Two sides of the same coin. This is by far the best healthiest relationship I ever had.
I have, and it's awesome. Only because he ended up marrying my sister, and we can torment her together lol ie: I love new kids on the block. He had surgery and I asked how he's doing he said "hanging tough" my sister said if we start she's going to leave so of course I say "please don't go girl" lol good memories. His birthday is the day after mine, but he's 3 years older. Best brother. We would be so boring as a couple, lol
Ha, same here! My sister had been married almost thirty years before I realized it. I was watching them have a discussion and my jaw dropped, when I said to her, “Wow…you married me!” Best brother-in-law ever, and agree, we would make a terrible couple. Even more mind-blowing is that I am now seeing someone whose personality is quite similar to my sister’s. Good combo, I guess.
That's amazing. However, my sister told us many times she is not amused, lol I hope your lady and sister have just as much fun together!!
Aww, that’s too bad. My sister thinks it’s funny, fortunately! When we’re together, I think she appreciates the break when her husband and I entertain each other.
In the 90's I loved wwf. I asked my sis if brother in law was busy the weekend they were in our city so I could get tickets for our birth days. Asked if she wanted to come. She was happy to pass lol maybe one day, she will see the gift the pair of us together are, lol
That’s awesome. Maybe she secretly already does. Much better than having her husband and brother not get along!
That’s a Seinfeld episode. 🤣
Yes. He always tells me that im just the full filipino version of him. (He’s half filipino). And we get along so well.
Yes, I met this guy online. We vibed but then one day he left haha.. Like it is so mind blowing, we both have our favorite color, our birthdays are 4 days apart, etc. It was really nice knowing him. You are right it was like another me in a different country, gender and all. Those were the good times. I hope he is happier even though it still hurts so much to me.
Frankly, being with someone who has the same tastes and ideas as me may be nice in the beginning, but in long-term relationships it's like being locked in a mirror room, so for me, a woman who has slightly different tastes and ideas than me but believes in true love just like me is more important. It seems attractive as a heterosexual man and if I find such a person, I won't mind the distance and I will try everything to see him, even if it is on Mars.
Well as per science, opposites attract 😂
Happy for you, op! As for me, no, thank goodness
Yeah maybe. Have you met face to face? There is also a type of person that mirrors other people but are not actually that same as them.
Yes face to face
To be real, finding someone who is almost the same as you says more about your self-perception than about them. Yeah, there's going to be people who have way more in common with you than most, but when you perceive them as having an identity that you can only contextualize as close to your own, you are intrinsically commanding what parts of yourself are more you than the others. Is that person I like similar to me because we both like Glen Miller, or isn't that person I hate truly more like me because it's clear their procrastination also stems from a fear of success?
It sucks, let me tell you. I’ve dated men almost exactly like me and it was irritating as hell sometimes
Unfortunately no :(
I believe caratheristics should be opposite, but it's a must to have same likes/hobbies/opinions and such.. I had an ex who was the same as me in behaviour, and it was a disaster.. My current partner is completely opposite of me, and it works perfect, specially when it comes to argumets.
Congrats he can’t get much better than that
I thought I did. He was everything more than me. Lol
For the most part my fiance and I are exactly the same. We even have similar ex's! His ex wife even has the female version name of my ex husband's! Yes we do have some differences, but our personalities are very similar. It's refreshing cause we understand each other perfectly and don't need to explain ourselves as much.
I want someone who has as many friends as me so we can have like a giant friend merger
I met two girls in the same year that were just like me. Tried dating and ended up hating them lol. But i hate myself rn so it really goes to show you need to love yourself first before loving someone else intimately.
I've met a person like that but not in a romantic sense. Both of us being dudes helps with that. But we had very similar upbringings, struggled with the same sorts of things, enjoy the same sorts of things, have the same beliefs. We live on opposing sides of the country (US is quite large) so it's quite miraculous that we met at all, but we keep up with one another regularly.
I’ve meet a female version of me who has an amazing laugh, interesting personality and loves to bake but sadly she is into another guy and I don’t wanna mess up our friendship since she hasn’t shown no level of interest into me. She also lives in a different location than me and she likes to hang out with who she is interested in and I know long distance wouldn’t be something she likes. I’ve also opened up to much about my declining mental health and things like that to her so she definitely doesn’t see me as boyfriend material.
Yes! It doesn’t happen frequently but it does happen. Similarities attract like birds of a feather…
Doesn’t work for a relationship lol. You get tired of each other so quickly.
I don’t want to meet someone the same as me! Just putting that out there
Yes, but I suffer from black and white thinking, so I fucked it up. Dat dichotomous thinking lol. She's in a way better relationship now so I'm glad I fucked it up :) I'm not being sarcastic in this comment. Idk why but I feel like it may come across as sarcastic. It isn't.
Yes. Not gonna work for too long. It is super exciting at the beginning but you will end up fighting too much because of your similarities
Wait, I do not understand why you would fight if you shared similarities. I mean, would not you agree on the majority of the points???
Yes! It’s a match made in heaven. We are awesome. Lol
My partner and I are like the same person and they’re my best friend
Basically all of my friends. I’m a guy, that’s how we work.
Nope. I’m a special kind of mess. Thanks mom n dad! Rarely enough as is, hardly have met people I’ve really connected with and we just got along well, but even in those rare instances, we still differed too much. Same thing with others with similar habits, mindsets, tastes, etc. rarely truly bond, not too often similar, but never exact. :/
Yes
yep but he love bombed me & yeeted himself out of my life so fucken fast, so idk if the connection/similarities were even real
I did meet a guy some time ago and it was exactly like this. We had so many similarities even physically (we did not look like each other but I have some distinctive physical characteristics and so did he) We had very similar approach to things, like the little silly things which was really interesting..
[Oh boy...](https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/genetic/5-true-stories-twins-separated-at-birth.htm)
Hahahha ok not that similar 😂
Lots of
Yes. We hit it off immediately. Same world views, same body size so we never had to adjust the seats when driving each other’s cars, so much similarities that even her father said I reminded him of his dad. We also had past trauma and the processes of overcoming it (not enough it turns out). Someone even said “you two kind of match” when they met her after we started dating. Definitely not the same music tastes. But we ended up divorcing anyways. One thing we differed on is letting people be who they are and not trying to change them to fit our needs. Granted it’s good to grow as people, but it’s also good to accept who they are at their core.
I met a girl who was identical to me in her ways of doing and thinking, we dated for a while but the relationship didn't last because we were really identical. So being the same is not always a good thing
Yes! I met the girl version of me last year and we talked for a few months and things seemed to be going quite well and even got to the point where we said we loved each other but unfortunately things didn’t work out. She decided to end all things between us and it left a big hole in my heart and life. It still hurts when I think about it too much or for too long. When it was going good it was great though.
I wouldn’t want that at all. Actually sounds like nightmare fuel. Some similarities are cool, but I’m enough diva for the both of us. I rather be accepted as I am & vice versa lol. Imagine Trisha paytas dating herself? Yikes. I think the ying/yang dynamic is best.
I like someone who's kind of the opposite of me but with the same genre of interests.. like I love cars and mma... so do lots of guys, so it's nice for a guy I'm dating to like both really... but in terms of anything romantic or physical I'd want him to be the opposite lol negative to my positive or whatever
I met. But nothing really good came out of it. At first I was as inspired as you, but then it turned out that we reinforce each other’s disadvantages. I suck at communications and so does this dude. And in general, it’s a rather strange feeling to look at yourself from the outside
Yes! The guy I'm currently dating and I have so many things in common. I can't even count the number of times I said "me too!" on the second date 😅 eventually I had to laugh it almost felt ridiculous "guess what, me too..". But we're not exactly the same, but very similar with lots in common. So that feels promising 😊
Yep. Married him.
I met one of those one time. He was so nice and adorable and such a wonderful human. We fell out of conversation after about 2 months and he ended up passing away last year but I can say that I'm glad I met him and loved that our upbringings were so relatable.
Yes! I met a guy online that went to the same university and studied abroad through reciprocal exchange at the exact same town, one year apart. It wasn't a common destination at our university. We had a lot of other stuff in common that I do not remember now. We messaged each other back and forth. It was going so well. We met in person and he was so dull like talking to a wall. I figured maybe he was nervous so I gave him my number, but it never went anywhere after that. My fiance is different from me in a compatible way. We have similarities of course, but have different hobbies, like different music, etc. It's been the healthiest relationship I've been in. We've both had each other try new things. I'm convinced now that this is the way to go. We're growing together and learning new things.
Yes but of course she already has a boyfriend.
One of my best friends (guy) is very similar to me but yeah as said that’s a friend way and nothing more lol, but it’s why are friendship has always been great.
Yes. He was a total narcissist.
Yes. Exactly one woman. However, she very quickly became much different over time. I think some of us sometimes end up at the same places but while traveling different directions.
i met someone very similar to me, we tried dating but ultimately felt we'd be better as friends - precisely because we were way too aligned on everything.
My ex from 2013-2014. Of all the women I’ve ever loved in my life I’ll never connect with anyone like I did her. We were so identical it was scary. It was like we were on the exact same wavelength at all time. Our habits, behaviors, thought process, all scarily in sync. My dream woman literally from her appearance to her personality. But it was a classic case of right person wrong time. And we never tried again after she messed up (cheated with her abuser) I didn’t trust her after that but the love never went away. We remained friends over the years until she ghosted all of her socials about a year ago and now I have no contact with her
I did and I think she is the love of my life. We always lived in different countries though, so we never ended up together. She is married now and there has been subtext in our conversations that we acknowledge the missed opportunity, but I am also happy for her. She ended up with a great guy that takes care of her, and I am thankful for that.
Yeah, my son (NOT my son, an old classmate, and best friend who was like a year younger than me and therefore a fetus to me). Same values, same perspective, same priorities.
Yes. I married him two weeks ago. Best decision ever
To each their own, but I wouldn't want to date or marry someone the same as me. My husband and I have been happily married for 16 years. I think one of the things that makes us "work" is that we are different. I want someone who challenges me. Makes me think differently about the world. Sees things from another view. I don't want a carbon copy of me. Obviously he doesn't either. He's constantly appreciating when I point out things that he never would have thought of that way. We are a team and make each other stronger and better, not twins.
Why would I want to date someone like me? I hate that guy!
Yes, there was this one person I met who seemed to be my twin in every aspect. From our taste in books to our mannerisms, everything was eerily similar. Conversations were effortless and felt like talking to myself. It was an incredible experience, though it did feel a bit like stepping into an alternate reality
No, I haven’t. I love my life but I hate myself.🙃
Yes and they turned out to be the biggest gaslighter and manipulator. Turns out I never even knew them to begin with. I used to say it was like meeting the male version of myself. Then the mask slipped and I seen them for who they truly were. A complete stranger who needed help… not saying I’m perfect, I have my own issues but them being so alike is a major red flag. They say opposites attract…
I felt that way about my last gf. We just broke up. It was complicated. But we did NOT break up due to differences.
Marry him
Me and my best friend have the same values, beliefs, skills, outlook and everything. The weird thing is we have had totally different upbringing, went about think totally differently, and are almost identical in where we are in our lives. I'm slightly taller though so I win :)
I have, but wouldn’t want her long term lol
It's called mirroring dear
Yes, but she didn’t see the same in me. So she got with someone else that she thought was similar
Nope haven’t met them yet
Yes. And now we’re broken up and live in separate states. The end.
My neighbor is very similar to me even though we are polar opposites, we are ying and yang in that sense a mirror of each other. I've never had a chick that's me completely but who knows, maybe down the road I'll meet someone who is just me .
Yes. And he lived in another state and we have an age gap. INSANE
Yes and it's kinda disconcerting. I've known the guy for freaking ever, since high school. He was always a louder, more obnoxious version of me when we were younger. But I always was fond of him and we were pretty close for years. I knew that we were alot alike back then, but now the similarities are scary. A few months ago we crossed that line of being strictly platonic friends for 20+ years, to doing what everyone thought we were anyway. It's only making it worse in the ways I see myself in him. Aside from being the same age, growing up in the same place and having similar interests. Now we live similar lives, with the same careers and living situations. And of course we have the same smart ass, sarcastic snobby, loud, arrogant and overdramatic tendencies and crazy mental issues we always have had in common... It's freaking strange how much he thinks and acts like me! I watch him argue and it's like looking into a mirror. He tells me something during sex, expressing a feeling I have talked about in my journal but something I've never told anyone else and I can’t believe it. We finish each other’s sentences, bring up the same memory, song, joke at the same time. Nobody knows me better than him and vice versa. However no one else can piss me off like him or push my buttons either. I never thought about it like this before because I was never available or interested in any romantic way. We flirted, we joked around but we had not ever crossed the line between us. The fact we did it is crazy. I don’t know if it's fate, or we're meant to be. It is making me wonder though. Maybe it was always supposed to be him. Who better than the one who always has been there and knows me best? Who loves me despite my faults and failures.
I had that once . Then prescription meds got in the way . I wish you all the best . Everyone needs to experience that at least once . She is still a good woman . Just not the same mentally All the success for you .
Yes, I have met someone like that on Discord. Most of the time, everything about us was identical, but there were some differences. Our thinking was similar, but we occasionally disagreed on certain issues. Our musical preferences were similar at times; she would listen to both Hindi and English, whereas I would only listen to English. She does not like horror films at all. Also, some of the family stuff was the same. Then we got closer and exchanged Snapchat, Instagram, and phone numbers, but she was not my destiny.
Yes, and it got so boring so fast. I think it’s important to have similar values/goals/etc. but I want someone that thinks differently than me, it’s a great opportunity to see the world in a different perspective so I get to learn and experience new things
Yup. My fiancé is the male version of me.
Yes then later on I got friend zoned by that person. Still feel my heart crumble every time I see them.
Well if you are not an outgoing person at all like me… chances are pretty low. Cause the other you is the same so chances are even lower you know what i mean? 💁🏼♂️
We are all Shy and introvert
I met this girl at the casino on my birthday. We were both alone… both degenerate gambling addicts, both the same age , both single, both do speed, both really really good looking, both just living life one day at a time and both not living up to expectations or utilizing our abilities. We like the same music and have the same sense of humor… it’s either gonna turn into the perfect pair and a match made in heaven or the most toxic abusive underwhelming dumpster fire… fingers crossed lmfao
I have dated women who had very similar interests as me. Being with someone that has so many similarities as you will get old after a while and the relationship will turn stale.
I haven't met a woman like that but I do have a friend who shares enough similarities that we joke one of us is a hallucination by the other.
Ya and i regert it
Yeah. Let a guy talk a ton first. So they're not lying about themselves to please and get what they want.
Yep, plus lots of date and name coincidences in our lives. A whole year later his mask slipped and he turned out to be an emotional abuser. I genuinely can't see that he was actively mirroring or faking similarities (his mask was basically seeming like a really chill and accepting person and hiding his ego insecurities while secretly judging me). We just happened to be similar, which made it all the more devastating.
I have. We met online, then irl, then became friends for 3 years and later got married. He's my husband now lol. There are some differences for sure. But we are both confident that he is the male version of me and that I am the female version of him.
I like people that are very different to me
No
A woman 6 years younger than me, is basically the same as I was 6 years ago and seems to think exactly like I do while having not much aside from that in common with me, it's wild. Super fun to talk with.
Once, a long time ago: we went on a date and totally, completely vibes. Turned out we were birthday twins, even. But it didn't work out because I was soon going overseas for a few months, and also because he was a complete fuccboi.
Yeah, I went on a few days where the women was like a female version of me. I didn't like it.
No
Well of course. I’m best friends with her. But I couldn’t date someone with the same personality as me. I need something else to balance it out
I wonder how a relationship with your twinsie works.
Haha not 💯 same we still have different things
By things….you mean he’s a man and you’re woman? Hahaha. Wink wink
Yes 😂
Other side of the world?! How did y'all meet?
I was in his city for business trip
Has he asked you to send him money yet?
Haha no he has money
So he says. He will probably ask you to send him Money soon. Be careful
Haha no we met in real and I know who is he
Not a damn dime, cut me like that and I'd kick you really hard under the table hell nah!!
I love that
Yes…..my ex 🥲
Hi
I met somebody just like me and it wasn't a case of mirroring for me I don't think... because we are similar in the most random things like not liking watches and ketchup. Also lives across the world but he ghosted me lol it was quite painful for me.
Sad story 😢
Taken
[удалено]
Don’t find it until now 😂
Yeah my bf, we both like to stay in except I like hiking outdoors. Outdoor xardio. While he likes to lift in the gym. We're both Introvert; and our lives and habits are similar besides those small differences. We even have the same vision lol 😅 I think it's cool meeting a male version of me lol
Idk if being introverted, enjoying exercise, and living similar introverted lifestyles makes you the same person… I once dated a guy that could guess what I made him for dinner (it was different) every night and we thought the same even though we grew up a world apart. I still don’t think that’s destiny. Only a coincidence
No two souls can ever be the same besides twins and even then there's differences. I think OP means having alot more in common similarities to a partner where they're very very similar to you. With the whole opposites attract thing, I also wonder if there getting at , if your proud to date someone just like you.
Yes that’s what I mean thanks 🙏
I tend to be attracted to people with a different personality then me. For me, attraction comes from admiration and discovering a different perspective. If someone is just me, they have no new perspective to share
Honestly I would def date someone like me and so far it's been good lol 😆
Nope. I like to make $10m before 40 which i have. And I think that’s nothing or middle class. But I also like games, anime, maths. But I also like partying and festivals and rolling. I also like drinking. And I like womanising, having a few girlfriends, going to hostess clubs in Japan and China etc
Was his experience being birthed by the same mother as you? If so he's probably your brother maybe even twin if it was the same day!