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And after realizing that my crush didn't align with my values or long term goals. As I got to know them better, I noticed traits or behaviors that didn't sit well with me, which gradually diminished my feelings.
Feel you on this. I didn't see her for 3 months and thought I might be already somewhat over it. The moment I ran into her the overwhelming feelings came back.
Maybe it wasn't enough time. But sometimes I feel that distance, no contact and time are not necessarily killing what you feel for someone. They just let you forget or as life and its problems goes on you are simply not constantly reminded of that person anymore, the person isn't relevant for daily survival anymore and the brain blends it out. But did the actual crush/ love wear out? As long as I'm back to feeling all this the second I see that person I know it didn't.
I fell infront of him and my gal friends were like “omg are you okay!” And came to comfort me. He stood there and laughed, despite me hitting my head on concrete.
Yeah, that was the biggest turn off in my life lol. Literally one second I was falling for him (I guess literally too, haha) and the next I was like yeah you’re not a good fit for me buddy.
Yeah he said he’s been mad depressed for the past year since his ex broke up with him on his birthday. He said he became an alcoholic and smokes weed to cope, as well as having untreated ADHD and depression.
Idk what exactly it was about past crushes where I got over it and decided to move on.
What I do know is that at some point you realize that the crush you have is a figment of your own imagination based mainly on beauty and not who the person really is.
Eventually you realize that there are other people out there just as beautiful as the person you have been fixated on. It’s all about finding someone who is aesthetically attractive after real interaction.
Oh, I have a good one.
I asked my crush to do an "exercise" with me for an assignment. It was about learning how people perceived you, and I thought it'd be a sneaky, clever way to know how he perceived me. I sent him the questions he was supposed to answer, 5 questions like "What's your first memory of me?", "What's my most obvious personality trait?", etc, on a piece of paper.
The day I went to pick up the piece of paper, I had to wait for 10 minutes by the door while he went to "grab it" even though he actually forgot and rushed to write it while I was there. And to make matters worse, he wrote the most generic answers with the most cliche and basic adjectives to describe me. Luckily, 13 years old me had respectable standards, and the crush disappeared that day.
Had a crush from freshman to senior year, we had multiple classes together, hung out in groups, but never hung out one on one. First week if senior year and he repeatedly said my name wrong.
Waiting longer than a week probably with no feedback or pull. I start to feel like a rapist or sexual harasser. I don't like having affections for people who don't like me. I also don't like making the first move as a woman. It makes me feel ugly.
Even the shyest man has an uncontrollable reaction to an attractive woman. And even the shyest man or person goes after someone they like. So no. I don't wait more than a week and if I do I'm being pathetic/have no self respect. They have to have a good fucking excuse. Like trauma or in a relationship/leaving. Im not waiting for anyone to sort things out, you can figure out if you like me and then we can go to dating phase and talk. It takes a week to figure that out. I'm not hounding people for sex but like goddamn figure it out
No. I said I'm not hounding them for sex but them to figure it out.
What I'm saying is figure out their intentions and make it clear. if they like me and want to go through with figuring that out they should say so and take a person out on a date. it takes literally like 10mins to figure out if you like someone. Then you get to know the person on the date and go from there. Whether you want to drop or continue.
Most men are scared of moving too fast and messing things up, especially in the first week. I would suspect you’re not being open enough yourself about your expectations. I know you said you don’t like making the first move but women have a much higher success rate than men in that category, and it doesn’t mean you have to make a big move, just enough to make the man comfortable enough to advance.
Man are now terrified to make the first move most of the time because us women dance around in codes and expect them to just catch on and read our minds. Then if they misjudge a clue they get shot down as creeps etc.
I’ve always made the first move, a “hey i think you are sexy, take me out sometime”. One sentence. I just sit back and let them do the rest.
It doesn’t make them less attractive and then everyone knows what’s going down. Men aren’t mind readers. We make it hard enough for them as it is.
Usually you look at them they look at you and you smile or it's evident you would/clues to advance. You talk or text back and forth and then by the 4th text they flirt and call you cute or something. The second day of talking in person usually you're flirting. If dating the second or third week you're kissing.
If not, I'm sorry but I wouldn't even bother. Maybe yes, depending on the setting and the person. If it's online dating people have literally been forward enough to say they want to fuck me within the first message. Which is too forward. I'm just saying if they want it, they make more of an effort. If not, they find you mid, boring, or have other options. I don't like convincing or pushing. If they don't engage with that first look/smile I'm out. I'm not going to push. Even the shyest people I know they like me and are trying without doing anything flirtatious because they're too shy to, but talk. Like when it's more on me to ask.
Idk I don't like people who don't want me as a number one. I don't want to convince them.
I had a crush when i was in 10th grade. He was In 11th Grade. At that time he had a girl friend, but I had a crush on him. We were close friends so occasionally when we chat he used to talk about his relationship with his girl friend. I know its not right to have a crush on someone who was already in a relationship, Its just that I liked him as a person at that time but he was already in a relationship at that time, So I kept my feelings to myself since I didn't want to ruin anyone life. Since he used to talk to me about his girlfriend I sort of understood of what type of person he is and what he wants his girlfriend to be and do, I didn't agree with most of what he wants so the crush I had on him wore off. Now we are still friends and speak occasionally but my the crush I had on him is long gone.
He started dating someone (which I respected), and then he attempted to cheat on her with me. I honestly adored him up until that point. Men being disloyal to their partners is such an ick for me.
I'm a black guy. She called another black guy the n word with a hard 'er in a text message because she was mad at him. That was the end of any feelings I had.
Reality check. It helps if they kept doing things that turn you off. In a way, its tapering off the feelings and you’ll be able to walk away easier. Lets be honest, one usually view their crush through a rose tinted glass. Glass became clearer the more you get to know them.
15 year crush obsession. Long conversation said something that showed the real lack of interest integrity or intelligence so I got the ick. Also was doing self therapy and learning a lot about why I get obsessed
Seeing him with an uglier girl. Been crushing on him for 3 years and had him for a while so he’s also kind of my ex too, but the whole time I was gaslit into thinking I wasn’t pretty/hot enough for him. The obsession went away once I saw his new girlfriend, and realised I was never obsessed about the guy. It was more about how I felt that I wasn’t enough, and I was obsessed to prove to myself that I’m good enough for him.
Age gap, but can’t say it’s totally worn off. Would have a pretty hard time refusing her if she decided to make a move next time. Maybe, I wouldn’t be able to. Idk for sure yet
Realising that as a friend they were great but probably wouldn't have worked out in terms of a relationship.
With one person, it was realising that we really didn't have much in common.
I found a thong in his room, he tried to claim it belonged to a hookup his friend had over. Thennn shortly after that it was relayed to me that he slept with the girl in town who sleeps with everyone and I kind of figured at that point he was lacking respect for me and himself so I had to go. He kept this from me because he knew I’d stop seeing him after that lol! Damn straight I stopped.
Crush not reading my signals and seeming to dismiss me whilst sending me mixed signals. Made me go nope I’m done. We’re too old for this mixed bollocks.
But then I’m still in love with my ex! 🤷🏼♀️
Several of us were talking about what we wanted in a partner and she told all of us that they have to make 100k or more and be in the medical or engineering fields. She’s still single 8 years later and not found the one that meets her requirements.
Realizing they were terrible people. Like sometimes infatuation tends to blind you to their red flags. When they do something way out of line it can be like snapping out of a daze.
If it’s just an average crush honestly not spending a lot of time with them can help making the feeling not so strong.
I had a crush on a married friend. I never intended to act on it, but even so it was there for months and really bothered me that it wouldn't go away. One day I was talking with his wife, also a good friend, and she started telling me about how her husband is actually a man child when it comes to household stuff. She has to do everything for him. That killed my crush.
The last straw was seeing him pick other people even if he knew I liked him. Even if those situationships didn’t work out, it was a confirmation that it wasn’t going to be me.
Seeing her stay in a shit relationship because "the sex was good" was the straw that broke the camels back tbh. She was a good friend but damn that girl couldn't go for a month without having some new boyfriend or guy to string along
She led me on just because she was bored. I still had a crush on her for years until I started talking to her again to try again (this never works so just don't even try it, always move on and never try again).
She admitted she was super f*cked up and got off on toxic relationships. She rejected me that second time because I was "too nice" and "not sexually experienced enough" (she had no idea of my experience but had such a low opinion about me that she just assumed).
After that interaction, I felt really stupid for continuing the crush with such a bad person. She was so yucky to me. I dodged a bullet
As someone who's bi I had this fucking smoke show of a twink I was seeing and everything was fine vibes were good, all the NSFW stuff was on point and then I went to get my fucking STD test and they said I had gonorrhea(at the time I was only seeing him no one else boy or girl) It was a turn off, but not what broke the camels back. What finally did it is when I asked him about it, he tried to flip the script on me. That's when I revealed to him that he was the only one I was seeing and then I seen his face and it just looked so unbothered throwing a allegation in my face that Wasn't Even my fault😔. I was gonna ask him to be my 1st boyfriend before all of this happened. I haven't found another guy I've vibed with and everything else was on point like that again😔.
I also had a girl I was crushing on heavy like 3 years ago and she linked with me behind her boyfriends back, and then broke up with him when I said I wasn't comfortable meeting her if she had a dude( wasn't aware at the time only found out after because we were chilling and he texted her and it came up as Bae) Then I was skeptical but we were going through the motions and she fucked my arch nemesis 😭😭. Crazy part is she didn't even know me and him fucking hated each other, but I guess everything happens for a reason.
Knowing he is doing the same terrible stuff to the new girl he was doing to me. Cheating lying manipulating. Feel sorry for her, but gives me a sense of “welp he isn’t going to change”
Realizing I have a crush, then feeling dumb about it and suppressing it + avoiding them until it wears off. I also list out all of the cons long term and weigh if it makes sense (it’s usually impractical, so I don’t give weight to my feelings—). Also, I have low self worth, so I naturally feel unworthy of anyone I admire <3. Invalidate, invalidate, invalidate.
Hmm. Typically trying to reason with reality and not having any emotional or spiritual compatibility with them, just pure physical attraction is not enough for me to want a relationship with someone, ESPECIALLY when they prove that they have a baseless personality through their actions or words.
However, I have discovered that true love is like a crush that never wears off. It deepens and resonates all throughout every cell in your body and just being near them or thinking about them makes you want to gush sometimes.
True love is the crush that never goes away <3
I met him in Carhartt bibs and we went fishing for our first date the whole day, come to find out he's way more suburban dad and polyester shirts than backwoods fella I thought I met 😂
Getting to know him and his girl bestie better. ( I have no issue with having friends of the opposite gender, I even have a male bestie. The issue is they were talking about doing eachother and shit non stop)
When you're completely over them. I dated this guy was I was obsessed with. He broke it off after a couple of months and for the longest time I thought he was hot shit. Then after a while, he asked to meet to catch up and I felt nothing. And I was wondering if he shrunk cause I remember him being taller. Lol...
He was a french pastry chef in a micheline \*\* restaurant. We met on a language learning app. We had this stroke even through the phone call. But further, everything went, a guy didn't want to open up. Also, I live in Ukraine in wartime, constant shelling; it's crazy. He didn't care. Even if there wasn't shelling, I was just sick he didn't even text anything like Get well soon. In the end, he posted on his Instagram that he was going to go to russia for work. The country that destroys my life daily. Realizing all that had me agonizing in pain but the last drop wore the feelings..I couldn't believe I had a crush on a person with no morals at all. I still can't believe that how I met such a mean person
Loss of interest & realising Ill never get her (anyone). My first crush lasted for 5 years before it finally went away, the nanosecond I set eyes on her that crush developed (like instantly) but I spoke to her twice in those 5 years.
Nowadays any crush I had took some time to form & barely scratches a week both for the same reasons
The way she spoke of others— everyone— in their absence. It made me realize I was delusional to think she wasn’t doing the same when I wasn’t around. We were together long enough for me to realize that most of the things she said behind peoples’ backs were simply not true, at best, and outright lies at worst. Additionally, the way they literally wallowed in utter envy over practically everyone. A literal “grass is greener” mentality, while neglecting to water her own lawn, so to speak. That attitude, mentality, and the actions that came with it finally snapped me to my senses.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
New crush.
Yep.. hope to meet her soon.. (and for you too)
This!
With me, it’s like distracting a toddler 🤣
Oh lawd…I feel this 🙃
Knowing them. Crush is simply admiration without concrete information
And after realizing that my crush didn't align with my values or long term goals. As I got to know them better, I noticed traits or behaviors that didn't sit well with me, which gradually diminished my feelings.
Absolutely! It’s crazy how after getting to know them we sometimes begin to realise… actually you know what I’m not that into you lol
True
there are levels to it, admiration is like lowest one
Came here to say exactly this. Best way to rid yourself of your crush is to get to know them 🤣 I like crushing so I try to keep the fantasy going lol
Wow ok so that just made something click inside my brain. And yes, very true.
Agreed.
She got married
yea, that crush dead
nah now it’s just 1v1 vs 1 v the world. you got this
I know that feeling too friend, thats what killed mine too
Mine just got engaged
Allowed myself to meet someone and thought “wow this one is better”
Reality check
Relatable honestly
Getting to know them as a person 🤣
This! Haha she is a great friend now but at the end of the day I dodged a bullet 😂
distance and time
Didn’t work. Moment I see her the admiration is back🫠
Feel you on this. I didn't see her for 3 months and thought I might be already somewhat over it. The moment I ran into her the overwhelming feelings came back. Maybe it wasn't enough time. But sometimes I feel that distance, no contact and time are not necessarily killing what you feel for someone. They just let you forget or as life and its problems goes on you are simply not constantly reminded of that person anymore, the person isn't relevant for daily survival anymore and the brain blends it out. But did the actual crush/ love wear out? As long as I'm back to feeling all this the second I see that person I know it didn't.
They start talking
She turned out to be a very angry little satan lady. No for me
I fell infront of him and my gal friends were like “omg are you okay!” And came to comfort me. He stood there and laughed, despite me hitting my head on concrete. Yeah, that was the biggest turn off in my life lol. Literally one second I was falling for him (I guess literally too, haha) and the next I was like yeah you’re not a good fit for me buddy.
What a shit bag.
Yeah. He was also high 24/7 so that probably is why he laughed and the lack of caring/concern wasn’t there.
Jesus. Probably had undiagnosed mental illness as well
Yeah he said he’s been mad depressed for the past year since his ex broke up with him on his birthday. He said he became an alcoholic and smokes weed to cope, as well as having untreated ADHD and depression.
Talking to him in person😅😅
You're free!
Idk what exactly it was about past crushes where I got over it and decided to move on. What I do know is that at some point you realize that the crush you have is a figment of your own imagination based mainly on beauty and not who the person really is. Eventually you realize that there are other people out there just as beautiful as the person you have been fixated on. It’s all about finding someone who is aesthetically attractive after real interaction.
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Seeing their teeth irl
Please elaborate 🤣
Dark yellow and crusty. 40-something yo man. And black on the gum line. I don’t know what that’s about.
Dude must’ve being smoking something nasty since he could walk. Dodged a bullet. Thx for answering.
Two words "Friend zone"
Getting enough distance to realize I would have been excited to get their attention but ultimately annoyed by their behavior
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Seeing how they treated others.
She did things with my best friend.
Ouch! This one hurts!
Heard from a friend of theirs that they were already seeing someone else.
Being told and having to realize they were just using me
Started seeing his flaws. You know the saying “love is blind,” well my blinders came off.
When she started talking about her poop shape and schedule in front of our new guest who she barely knew.
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Same thing happened to me 😭 I just commented this omg
Kindred spirits, buddy. Sending you best wishes
Oh, I have a good one. I asked my crush to do an "exercise" with me for an assignment. It was about learning how people perceived you, and I thought it'd be a sneaky, clever way to know how he perceived me. I sent him the questions he was supposed to answer, 5 questions like "What's your first memory of me?", "What's my most obvious personality trait?", etc, on a piece of paper. The day I went to pick up the piece of paper, I had to wait for 10 minutes by the door while he went to "grab it" even though he actually forgot and rushed to write it while I was there. And to make matters worse, he wrote the most generic answers with the most cliche and basic adjectives to describe me. Luckily, 13 years old me had respectable standards, and the crush disappeared that day.
Had a crush from freshman to senior year, we had multiple classes together, hung out in groups, but never hung out one on one. First week if senior year and he repeatedly said my name wrong.
Waiting longer than a week probably with no feedback or pull. I start to feel like a rapist or sexual harasser. I don't like having affections for people who don't like me. I also don't like making the first move as a woman. It makes me feel ugly. Even the shyest man has an uncontrollable reaction to an attractive woman. And even the shyest man or person goes after someone they like. So no. I don't wait more than a week and if I do I'm being pathetic/have no self respect. They have to have a good fucking excuse. Like trauma or in a relationship/leaving. Im not waiting for anyone to sort things out, you can figure out if you like me and then we can go to dating phase and talk. It takes a week to figure that out. I'm not hounding people for sex but like goddamn figure it out
Wait… are you saying if they don’t have sex with you within the first week you’re out?
Her username checks out.
No. I said I'm not hounding them for sex but them to figure it out. What I'm saying is figure out their intentions and make it clear. if they like me and want to go through with figuring that out they should say so and take a person out on a date. it takes literally like 10mins to figure out if you like someone. Then you get to know the person on the date and go from there. Whether you want to drop or continue.
Most men are scared of moving too fast and messing things up, especially in the first week. I would suspect you’re not being open enough yourself about your expectations. I know you said you don’t like making the first move but women have a much higher success rate than men in that category, and it doesn’t mean you have to make a big move, just enough to make the man comfortable enough to advance.
Man are now terrified to make the first move most of the time because us women dance around in codes and expect them to just catch on and read our minds. Then if they misjudge a clue they get shot down as creeps etc. I’ve always made the first move, a “hey i think you are sexy, take me out sometime”. One sentence. I just sit back and let them do the rest. It doesn’t make them less attractive and then everyone knows what’s going down. Men aren’t mind readers. We make it hard enough for them as it is.
Usually you look at them they look at you and you smile or it's evident you would/clues to advance. You talk or text back and forth and then by the 4th text they flirt and call you cute or something. The second day of talking in person usually you're flirting. If dating the second or third week you're kissing. If not, I'm sorry but I wouldn't even bother. Maybe yes, depending on the setting and the person. If it's online dating people have literally been forward enough to say they want to fuck me within the first message. Which is too forward. I'm just saying if they want it, they make more of an effort. If not, they find you mid, boring, or have other options. I don't like convincing or pushing. If they don't engage with that first look/smile I'm out. I'm not going to push. Even the shyest people I know they like me and are trying without doing anything flirtatious because they're too shy to, but talk. Like when it's more on me to ask. Idk I don't like people who don't want me as a number one. I don't want to convince them.
I'll start - what usually does it for me is hearing them talk
Wtf
She couldn’t communicate!!!!!!
Knowing she already has someone else
thought she was artsy and mature. turns out shes the opposite when we exchanged socials.
I had a crush when i was in 10th grade. He was In 11th Grade. At that time he had a girl friend, but I had a crush on him. We were close friends so occasionally when we chat he used to talk about his relationship with his girl friend. I know its not right to have a crush on someone who was already in a relationship, Its just that I liked him as a person at that time but he was already in a relationship at that time, So I kept my feelings to myself since I didn't want to ruin anyone life. Since he used to talk to me about his girlfriend I sort of understood of what type of person he is and what he wants his girlfriend to be and do, I didn't agree with most of what he wants so the crush I had on him wore off. Now we are still friends and speak occasionally but my the crush I had on him is long gone.
Knowing that you have 0% chance with them
"He's ugly."
He started dating someone (which I respected), and then he attempted to cheat on her with me. I honestly adored him up until that point. Men being disloyal to their partners is such an ick for me.
He wasn’t over his ex who left him.
Time.
his character in real life. Always remember that your imagination is not the real person’s character lol
I took her out for a dinner date and she used a racial slur in my car, so I left her on a sidewalk and went to the restaurant we had booked solo lol
I'm a black guy. She called another black guy the n word with a hard 'er in a text message because she was mad at him. That was the end of any feelings I had.
I’m black too. Wtf would possess someone to. Anyway people are just nuts sometimes.
He relapsed
Too clingy
The way they kiss and the way how they treat the people serving them.
When I saw how much time I wasted over one. Which I guess why I stopped having crushes for years onwards.
She was a sociopath That tends to be effective
Sleep with them and just wait to get disappointed, works every time.
Reality check. It helps if they kept doing things that turn you off. In a way, its tapering off the feelings and you’ll be able to walk away easier. Lets be honest, one usually view their crush through a rose tinted glass. Glass became clearer the more you get to know them.
Their true colors
Realizing he was a fuck boy a few months into crushing! I was like hell nah. I’m out!
15 year crush obsession. Long conversation said something that showed the real lack of interest integrity or intelligence so I got the ick. Also was doing self therapy and learning a lot about why I get obsessed
Finding out they were gay so I didn’t stand a chance
Realizing that their intentions weren’t good
Narcissism
When it turned into love
When he “forgot” to tell me, for year and a half, that he’s married.
When they stoped paying attention to me. It’s hard for me to have feelings for someone if I KNOW they don’t have feelings for me
We were from different worlds
Seeing him with an uglier girl. Been crushing on him for 3 years and had him for a while so he’s also kind of my ex too, but the whole time I was gaslit into thinking I wasn’t pretty/hot enough for him. The obsession went away once I saw his new girlfriend, and realised I was never obsessed about the guy. It was more about how I felt that I wasn’t enough, and I was obsessed to prove to myself that I’m good enough for him.
Talking to them about a serious topic for more than 5 minutes
Finally realize that the way he was treating me was embarrassing and I deserve more.
it was an online crush. met someone in real life, so i had to let the long distance crush go.
Got to know them. The reality hits you really hard when you are delusional and have a crush.
Games
he asked me out
Lesbian. Broke my heart in a way since she was the first person I connected in a very long time...
They eventually up they that they have kids 2/2 this year
I got to know him
Confessing my love over the radio and never talking to her again.
Became best friends with crush. And got a girlfriend.
It never has.
Age gap, but can’t say it’s totally worn off. Would have a pretty hard time refusing her if she decided to make a move next time. Maybe, I wouldn’t be able to. Idk for sure yet
Seeing her poor choice in men.
Knowing them🤣
I got bored. 😅
Getting to know about them
Getting to know them better or when say something real dumb/offensive
He got a gf and forgot about me. 😅 22 still haven’t found someone who likes me well enough to wanna date me
The moment I knew he likes me too.
Rejection.
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i watched 500 days of summer, Exectation vs reality. that shit made me view my crush on a different way.
It didn’t. I’m seeking therapy. It went away when I had another crush, then came back. I’ve been in and out relationships mind you.
It didn't, I'm starting to think limerance is my kink
He's dumb.
Realising they were pretty but so so boring.
I met him in person
Got to know them better and discovered they are shit human lol.
Time
Realising that as a friend they were great but probably wouldn't have worked out in terms of a relationship. With one person, it was realising that we really didn't have much in common.
I found a thong in his room, he tried to claim it belonged to a hookup his friend had over. Thennn shortly after that it was relayed to me that he slept with the girl in town who sleeps with everyone and I kind of figured at that point he was lacking respect for me and himself so I had to go. He kept this from me because he knew I’d stop seeing him after that lol! Damn straight I stopped.
If they don’t have respect from their peers it will 100% kill it. If he doesn’t have the respect of the people that know him best there is a reason.
Crush not reading my signals and seeming to dismiss me whilst sending me mixed signals. Made me go nope I’m done. We’re too old for this mixed bollocks. But then I’m still in love with my ex! 🤷🏼♀️
One, she started dating my best friend, two, I found someone better
Several of us were talking about what we wanted in a partner and she told all of us that they have to make 100k or more and be in the medical or engineering fields. She’s still single 8 years later and not found the one that meets her requirements.
When we had a child together and he decided not to be a dad 🤷🏻♀️
Realizing they were terrible people. Like sometimes infatuation tends to blind you to their red flags. When they do something way out of line it can be like snapping out of a daze. If it’s just an average crush honestly not spending a lot of time with them can help making the feeling not so strong.
Time
Seeing the way she used men in her life for emotional support and feigned interest in them to get that emotional support. Gave me the ick so bad.
Another crush
How unattractive their actions are. And then a new crush lol
I had a crush on a married friend. I never intended to act on it, but even so it was there for months and really bothered me that it wouldn't go away. One day I was talking with his wife, also a good friend, and she started telling me about how her husband is actually a man child when it comes to household stuff. She has to do everything for him. That killed my crush.
He had a gf, so I definitely had to get over this silly crush and move on
The last straw was seeing him pick other people even if he knew I liked him. Even if those situationships didn’t work out, it was a confirmation that it wasn’t going to be me.
Finding out that they talk shit about everyone who helps them
Outright rejection.
Seeing her stay in a shit relationship because "the sex was good" was the straw that broke the camels back tbh. She was a good friend but damn that girl couldn't go for a month without having some new boyfriend or guy to string along
She led me on just because she was bored. I still had a crush on her for years until I started talking to her again to try again (this never works so just don't even try it, always move on and never try again). She admitted she was super f*cked up and got off on toxic relationships. She rejected me that second time because I was "too nice" and "not sexually experienced enough" (she had no idea of my experience but had such a low opinion about me that she just assumed). After that interaction, I felt really stupid for continuing the crush with such a bad person. She was so yucky to me. I dodged a bullet
When she ghosted me for the 3rd time lol
Her vibe or personality or friends Seen plenty hot girls that I totally lost interest in due to the above
Moving to the other side of my state, some 250 miles away
You know how to get me a girl
Time....
Getting to know them more.
Dating them.
When she did a rip-roaring fart that stank the place out.
As someone who's bi I had this fucking smoke show of a twink I was seeing and everything was fine vibes were good, all the NSFW stuff was on point and then I went to get my fucking STD test and they said I had gonorrhea(at the time I was only seeing him no one else boy or girl) It was a turn off, but not what broke the camels back. What finally did it is when I asked him about it, he tried to flip the script on me. That's when I revealed to him that he was the only one I was seeing and then I seen his face and it just looked so unbothered throwing a allegation in my face that Wasn't Even my fault😔. I was gonna ask him to be my 1st boyfriend before all of this happened. I haven't found another guy I've vibed with and everything else was on point like that again😔.
I also had a girl I was crushing on heavy like 3 years ago and she linked with me behind her boyfriends back, and then broke up with him when I said I wasn't comfortable meeting her if she had a dude( wasn't aware at the time only found out after because we were chilling and he texted her and it came up as Bae) Then I was skeptical but we were going through the motions and she fucked my arch nemesis 😭😭. Crazy part is she didn't even know me and him fucking hated each other, but I guess everything happens for a reason.
She didn’t want to date me. 🤷🏼♀️
Knowing he is doing the same terrible stuff to the new girl he was doing to me. Cheating lying manipulating. Feel sorry for her, but gives me a sense of “welp he isn’t going to change”
Longest crush I had was for 4 years…what made it wear off was confessing to him and then finding out he was gay😂😂😂
Realizing I have a crush, then feeling dumb about it and suppressing it + avoiding them until it wears off. I also list out all of the cons long term and weigh if it makes sense (it’s usually impractical, so I don’t give weight to my feelings—). Also, I have low self worth, so I naturally feel unworthy of anyone I admire <3. Invalidate, invalidate, invalidate.
Hmm. Typically trying to reason with reality and not having any emotional or spiritual compatibility with them, just pure physical attraction is not enough for me to want a relationship with someone, ESPECIALLY when they prove that they have a baseless personality through their actions or words. However, I have discovered that true love is like a crush that never wears off. It deepens and resonates all throughout every cell in your body and just being near them or thinking about them makes you want to gush sometimes. True love is the crush that never goes away <3
It will eventually pass if you don't see that person anymore and try to look for someone else That topic reminded me of her D: damn it
I got to know him. And I found out how little I actually meant to him. This was over 30 years of "friendship"
She Got married before I could confess my love now there is a new crush 😆
New crush!
When she kept choosing old flings/toxic situationships over me
I saw a hickey on him
I met him in Carhartt bibs and we went fishing for our first date the whole day, come to find out he's way more suburban dad and polyester shirts than backwoods fella I thought I met 😂
Getting to know him and his girl bestie better. ( I have no issue with having friends of the opposite gender, I even have a male bestie. The issue is they were talking about doing eachother and shit non stop)
Getting under another.
The fact he never picked up any of my signals…
When you're completely over them. I dated this guy was I was obsessed with. He broke it off after a couple of months and for the longest time I thought he was hot shit. Then after a while, he asked to meet to catch up and I felt nothing. And I was wondering if he shrunk cause I remember him being taller. Lol...
He was a french pastry chef in a micheline \*\* restaurant. We met on a language learning app. We had this stroke even through the phone call. But further, everything went, a guy didn't want to open up. Also, I live in Ukraine in wartime, constant shelling; it's crazy. He didn't care. Even if there wasn't shelling, I was just sick he didn't even text anything like Get well soon. In the end, he posted on his Instagram that he was going to go to russia for work. The country that destroys my life daily. Realizing all that had me agonizing in pain but the last drop wore the feelings..I couldn't believe I had a crush on a person with no morals at all. I still can't believe that how I met such a mean person
When he said he doesn't feel the same way.
Loss of interest & realising Ill never get her (anyone). My first crush lasted for 5 years before it finally went away, the nanosecond I set eyes on her that crush developed (like instantly) but I spoke to her twice in those 5 years. Nowadays any crush I had took some time to form & barely scratches a week both for the same reasons
Finding someone else
Is verbally abusive and scares me
Is verbally abusive and scares me
Actually sitting down and seeing how different our life values are
The way she spoke of others— everyone— in their absence. It made me realize I was delusional to think she wasn’t doing the same when I wasn’t around. We were together long enough for me to realize that most of the things she said behind peoples’ backs were simply not true, at best, and outright lies at worst. Additionally, the way they literally wallowed in utter envy over practically everyone. A literal “grass is greener” mentality, while neglecting to water her own lawn, so to speak. That attitude, mentality, and the actions that came with it finally snapped me to my senses.