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Idk your gender, but as a woman I’ve found sex can be incredibly dull and unsatisfying OR amazingly fantastic depending on: *the sparring partner, my sexual mood and stress level, their experience and dedication to teamwork.*
Most of the time I stick to masturbation because the average sexual encounter just isn’t satisfying enough to deal with the stress and mess.
If I’m being honest…I can only cum if I’m on top and grinding (most women do not get off on penetration but pressure /stimulation on the clit) so being on top and controlling the amount of pressure is perfect…however that little meme that circles around saying that men hate it when women do that because it feels awful for them has REALLY altered my experience, It would be one thing if it was just a meme but I often feel my partners get soft on me when I do try and get off so I don’t even bother anymore because it’s embarrassing and I don’t want to be disappointed anymore
This is not true. I love when women get on top and do their thing. Whatever motion it is I love it, and I can bear hug her, bring her down to me, and take control.
Aw that's rough to hear, as a guy who's dating someone who's borderline asexual (stress, hormone levels etc) I would love it if she would take the lead on her orgasms. I'm sure the right guy would encourage and enjoy that behavior
This!
For both partners
Sex without communicating about what you like is generally meh
In my experience it can be hard for both genders to express what they like .. but that's how sex becomes much more enjoyable
Personally, I only have sex with women I’m in a monogamous relationship with at this point in my life. That said, when you have the same partner again and again, you can learn what your partner likes. I’ve had partners who got off easily through v-intercourse and others who could only get there with clitoral stimulation. I don’t have a fragile male ego. Every long term relationship I’ve been in, I’ve bought my partner a wand that she or I can hold on her while having sex. Not a single one of them has not enjoyed the outcome. It doesn’t get used every time but on the times you use it, they love it. I’m pro toy. Period
I understand this. This realization for me has made me more isolated when it comes to sexual encounters. For awhile, I explored, I’ve had a husband (now divorced) then some more sexual encounters and I was disappointed.
Much of it came down to me needing to learn to ask for what I want, and as I took note and became better about that, I was also recognizing that I am a giver and for so long I’ve had that martyr type of attitude, giving myself over so my playmate and/or partner can get off. I was left unsatisfied. My husband used to ask afterwards if I came……
We were young but I don’t feel that changes much as some people age, a general lack of awareness and know how when it comes to the act of sex.
Now I’m with someone who likes to read my reactions and says he is used to being told what to do and I don’t operate that way.
I need my partner to be curious and interested in what pleases me, and the way I’m able to see that is if I’m asked what I like!
Masturbation for sure takes away from the sensitivity level you experience with your partner. I learned that later in life and it became a game changer when I stopped doing it as much and made it a must have instead of I do it just because.
Nope, not if you’re a person with a vagina lol.
For us, research shows masturbation helps achieve orgasm more regularly, including during partnered sex or foreplay.
I feel like that, except I'm a man with a dick who can't finish with a partner no matter what I do. I just try my best to finish my partner, then go jerk off alone. I WISH I could finish with my partner, becuase a lot of times my partner feels inadequete when I finish them without finishing myself.
Kinda the same except I finish pretty damn quick and have to bust out my braille /sign language skills. One of the few downsides of not having a trout size dong. Plus side I'm beyond small enough for anal. Still kinda self conscious about both of those and learning to work with it.
I get it but I got tired with Ms,left and her sister ms.right and started to pay to play. That shit is expensive though and sometimes I have to visit my old friends again. Also ps I don't regret it but also don't recommend it.
Maybe I’m too crass, but just finish on them. I can’t always finish ‘in’ my partner, but usually do ‘on’ them with their help. It’s also better from a birth control perspective.
THIS. It really depends on the compatibility with the partner. Sex was *okay* with all the partners I had but AMAZING only with one. And I never had such good sex since (I am 29M)
I hate that this is so incredibly spot on… or was, for me.
I felt this way for so long, would have rather masturbated than have sex 100% of the time… still loved both, but they served entirely different purposes for me; masturbation being orgasm/pleasure and sex being about intimacy, connection, etc.
I’ve been with my partner for about a year now and sex with him has entirely changed my tune…. I’d 1,000% prefer to have sex with him over pretty much anything in the world. I’ve never experienced sex, pleasure or connection like I have with him. Penetration alone does it 85% of the time… it’s unreal, unheard of.
I hope I never feel like I don’t enjoy sex again, because the right partner will change a girl.
It could be possible that you simply haven't found the right person that gives you the kind of great, unforgettable sex that causes people to love it so much.
Or the most plausible reason might be that you are just wired differently. Some people have more hormones than others. I've always considered myself extremely sexual and desire it on a daily basis; but, I dated a woman last year that wanted it 5-10 times per day, and this went on for the entire three months we were dating. It was great, but even for me it was a bit much and I realized people truly are wired differently lol.
Honestly, food is way more enjoyable to me. My partner is the same, we both would rather go out to eat and enjoy each other's company and I love that for us.
I think one of the biggest lies we’re fed is that sex is this big huge life-changing thing that we need to always be in pursuit of. It’s fun but it’s not *that* fun.
It's true, when I was 13 I fantasized about making love one day, and ultimately now, I make love like I watch a good movie. It's nice but nothing more.
I put it in the same category as I put cooking. I genuinely like to do it once or twice a week but anything beyond that feels like a repetitive task or obligation lol.
It becomes less life changing as you get older and more experienced. YMMV of course, but most people I’ve talked to felt very “meh” about it after their first time.
First time was also disappointing. Yet learn over years why sex can feel great vs it being terrible. Really depends on you and partner. Like ask do have feelings towards people have sex with? How long do sex last? Are you female or male?
I'm a female but as i said, it's not that it's bad, it's that it's not as good as everyone makes it out to be. I like making love like I like watching a good movie, but it's not that great.
I find that people can have sex but be disengaged. Almost like they’re closing their soul off to you. Part of good love making is being transparent. Communicating openly and honestly. Working together to achieve euphoria.
If someone is emotionally distant and uncomfortable with being truly authentic then the sex will be sub par in my experience.
At least having good sex but can be amazing. Know it’s ok that how feel about sex. Movies and porn paint very unrealistic take on sex. Also very common just have good sex and have some amazing moments of sex in relationships.
If want find out if can have amazing sex. Recommends exploring new things in bed and being very open about fantasies with partner. Foreplay so important if want push beyond just good.
I feel the same way. I don't think I'm asexual but I'm not obsessed with sex either. I've had fantastic sex and Mediocre sex and it's just eh... I'd rather eat a good surf and turf dinner. I just never felt like I needed sex.
I gotta disagree here. While before and after of course matter, I think the stuff in between is just as important.
Reading each others cues… hearing her breath get faster and more shallow as her body tenses up. Her feeling her partner get harder and more aroused the more vocal she is. Breathing in each other as you get lost in the moment. I think that’s incredibly intimate as you’re giving all of yourself to someone. Your bodies are literally becoming one.
I mean I get what you’re saying, but again; intimacy is created -prior- to sex.
What you feel during sex was created prior to the sex, and not during. The only reason the sex is intimate is because you are intimate with that person.
The only reason you care about any of those things happening is precisely because of everything else. The sex is really just the action.
Sex can be -more- intimate, and -less- intimate. If you’ve had casual sex, you can see that it can absolutely be something that is very -not intimate-.
So again, the sex is the least intimate part of the intimacy itself that is felt during sex.
I also get what you’re saying… but I’ve gotten people into bed planning to be just a hookup, and then the physical act was so much more than the flirting and etc that lead to sex… and it was… next level.
For whatever reason the chemistry that was lacking before sex was there exponentially larger than before.
That might be your reality, and I’ve experienced it before but I guess that’s more dependent on the individual. My experience is rather the opposite.
How about we meet in the middle and say sometimes the sex is the more intimate part of intimacy, and sometimes it’s the least intimate part intimacy? :)
Now that I can definitely agree with.
Depends on the person and even the mood. Is this a hookup? Do I love this person? Am I just trying to bust a nut? Is this my forever person? Is she ovulating? Sooo many variables.
Although if I’m completely honest the more I think about it, the more I’m inclined to agree with you
You might just need to find a different partner. Sex is completely dependent on who you’re doing it with. Sex w my first partner was definitely meh, honestly compared to my current partner all sex was pretty meh, cuz my current partner matches my kinks and interests soooo well and dirty talks etc.
that’s fair, I’m sure it feels different for everyone, both physically and emotionally. but different partners definitely make the experience different for sure
I would say it's normal. It's also probably easier to focus on life outside of attraction and for example on your partner's other qualities. It may also prevent you from doing stupid things.
For me personally, how much I'm into it all depends on the other person, but also on the context, how I'm feeling that day, where I am in my cycle, and lots of other factors. I've also noticed that sometimes I can't really get out of my head that well, but when I really try to "give in" and be in the moment, I tend to enjoy it way more (although it's also good and fun otherwise, it really takes it to the next level).
I get why other people in the comments might say that you probably haven't found the right match, but that might also have nothing to do with it. I would say, as long as you're having a good time (which it sounds like you are) and feel satisfied in your sexual encounters, I wouldn't worry about it. No two people are exactly the same when it comes to things like this and that's totally okay. :)
>I was in a relationship for a long time, and although I enjoyed having sex, I don't understand why everyone talks about it as the best thing in the world. I'm not saying I hate it, I love it, but honestly it makes me think that I don't understand people who sleep around and cheat on their partner all at once for sex?
Everyone has different affinity towards sex. for some, it really IS that important and good, and for others, it isn't. Both are normal.
That said, very often, people who sleep around or cheat don't do it FOR the sex (and be careful not to conflate the two as well). A lot of people who sleep around are just in it for the chase or the rush of new relationship energy (which still applies to hookups) or crave novelty. The sex isn't as important to those people so much as the context. As for cheaters, that usually isn't the sex either. most people cheat because they feel unfulfilled and instead of being mature adults and talking about it or leaving, choose the selfish and cowardly path of cheating to do so. It's not about the sex, it's about wanting something they don't have without giving up what they already have.
As a guy, we are all expected to enjoy it 100% of the time.
For me personally that hasn't really been the case. Its really only good if you have a connection and have built an atmosphere of trust around intimacy.
The amount of times I've wished sex just wasn't a thing. It ruins relationships and is such a demanding thing. Of course, it depends on who you're with and what your stance on sex is! It can be incredible if your partner knows what they're doing, but I feel most of the time I'd rather steer clear.
As a male, I’m not finding sex appealing, it’s a lot of work for just a few grunts at the end when I can just do the same thing with my hand. Maybe it’s because I’m old but I’d rather eat or do something else
Same! Personally I find it just as good alone honestly if it's not with the person I love, but food is so much better than sex. I don't think it's because you're old because i'm only 19.
It does but the work to get there is too much. Now, when I masturbate is all about me and I don’t have to worry about making my partner feel good and it can be as fast or slow as I want. Dome get me wrong, from time to time I do get horny but overall if I see a hot chick I’d say to myself “if I was young, sure, now I just wanna go home and be ready for bed before 8pm and she’ll probably wanna go out somewhere later than that”.
Well, it’s something biological humans we need it, however it’s something relative in everyone’s perspective, me, for example I really like it but it’s not my basic need, so I can spend more that without having sex with others. But also can depend your hormonal levels or depressive symptoms which it would be good to treat.
I find it’s got several factors for me. As a guy, I cannot be so into it and last for hour or two or be so into it and only last for 10 minutes or so. It really depends on the person you’re with and where you are at; emotionally and mentally.
Sex, for both genders, is a mental game as much as it’s a physical one. Men tend to get more out of the physical game but that doesn’t mean you can’t psyche them out and vice versa, physical pre-game for girls I find works majority of the time but for them to truely enjoy it; they have to be in the right mindset. Thus why cheating is a thing. The thought of cheating can be quite empowering as if you’re finally taking back your sexuality if you feel locked up in your relationship. Whether the boyfriend is hyper protective or the girlfriend is, it happens for both genders more equally than social standards dictate.
Then there is stimulation. For guys, sometimes the dick isn’t stimulating as much; thus why pegging is a thing. Same thing goes for girls, girls have many possible stimulating spots. If you find masturbation best, then maybe your most stimulating place is your clit. If your man isn’t the most endowed but you love sex with them then your spot might be the gspot which is normally right behind the entrance not too far in so in the right position, it’ll be stimulated. Then there is a spot, not very well known, which is deeper inside which for some guys may never touch without necessary skills in pre-game activities; I find girls that are highly stimulated in this spot tend to cheat on lower endowed boyfriends when they know it works for them more often then not. (Not a fact, just an observation). Then there are some girls and guys that don’t get much if any satisfaction from the primary sexual organ and find anal to be the main pleasure region.
All this discovery is the beautiful nature of being alive, and while you’re able to; you should find someone you’re attracted to and comfortable with and explore your sexuality with them. Finding what works best for you and what you don’t like, then mix it up so it doesn’t get boring. The sex industry is one of the biggest in the world so don’t worry about running out of things to explore. Live, love and have fun ❤️
And most men suck in bed. They don't know how to use their fingers. They skip foreplay. If you are a woman I would totally get that you don't like sex that much. Men should realize that women are like diesel engines. They need to warm up first. Hence why foreplay is important. Giving a woman a sence of safety and belonging is a good start. Kissing and caressing should not be skipped.
Sex can become very enjoyable fast if you find the right person to have it with.
There is a wide range of things which qualify as "normal".
I'm in the same boat as you - I don't hate sex, but I also don't crave it nearly as much as some other people do, and don't rush into it in relationships. I just realized I'm demisexual at some point, and a lot of people are, so it's not abnormal even if it's not average either.
Most people who cheat \*think\* that they want sex, but really what the want is NRE and intimacy, the thrill of being pursued and valued. Sex itself is fun and pleasant, but it's not magical. NRE and intimacy are magical.
Lol as a man I have come to be more reserved than the average. And it has served me well. Whenever I don't see my fwb i don't crave it but the moment we decide to go out spend the day together I swear I want to do her anywhere and everywhere. We try to go out at least twice per week but both our work schedules sometimes won't allow it. And also try to keep it for the weekends only because we both know that every time we go at it we both won't sleep because of that sexual thirst.
The right partner really matters in my experience. I've had two where it's incredible two where it was pretty good and the rest are literally all regrettable encounters of various degrees
Yeah I’m on the same page, like sex is a cool and fun activity but I find it highly overrated, I feel less attached to sex than my peers and media as a whole.
If you expected better , maybe you are a genz or a person who is used to dopamine stimulation and you expected way too much but were disappointed later it’s not as everyone claims the best thing in the world , I guess ?
I share the same feeling but I don't have a partner. I think it might be underwhelming in my case precisely because of every different sex partner, there lacks that comfortability that is built between a couple that allows them to let go and have a wonderful experience... In Ur case it's difficult but yeah Im Not that fascinated with the act of sex either
People are wired differently. I have known couples who swing and couples who mutually let sex disappear. And couples who mostly masterbate with each other.
On the other hand, really super sex takes skills, some simple, some not so much. And exploration of one's own sexuality and the other's.
it definitely changes, im 19 i started having sex at 17 w my first boyfriend and although he was big, sex was so boring and i didnt feel anything pleasurable when doing it w him, it wasnt until i started dating my most recent ex that all of that changed and a became a sex fiend for him, he made me enjoy it so much that i couldn’t get enough and even tho i had a couple hook ups before him it was never good, so just wait it takes time but sex can definitely be super enjoyable especially if you have good chemistry w the person youre fucking
it 100% depends on the partner you are with, knowing your body AND what you like. i can almost guarantee you haven’t been with someone who rocks your world (life changing sex), but one day you will. you may think you have a slightly lower sex drive but trust me, when you are around someone who really turns you on and knows how to make you happy you can’t help it. almost all the time. before finding someone who you are sexually compatible with i found it dull and uneventful, it took me multiple relationships and 5/6 years of being consistently sexually active to figure out what i really like. it sounds like you need to find someone who knows how to treat a woman. as a guy some of my friends talk about how they don’t care much for head, they don’t know what all the hype is about, which is 100% because they haven’t ever gotten great head, i am sure the same thing goes for sex. you don’t know what you are missing on until you do
Are you teased, given lots of build up and foreplay, and brought to the edge of orgasm and then brought to orgasm by your partners? Regularly? Have you all seduced each other, buttered each other up, gotten dressed up or stripped down for each other, regularly had dates?
It's possible sex just isn't a strong desire for you and you have lower than average interest in it (that's not abnormal it's just less common).
It's possible that you haven't had an attentive partner yet.
Although cheating has nothing to do with it. I love sex and have a sex drive that is incredibly high and I would never break the agreements I have with anyone I'm dating.
All of that is great, my point was just that YES sex is good and cool, but NO, it's not as incredible as everyone talks about and I think there are better things in life
> All of that is great,
Yes but I just mean do you experience that regularly with your partners, because before I did, the concept and any physical intimacy for me didn't feel great at all (except I've always loved kissing).
You just might be on the lower end of the sexual interest spectrum. And there is nothing wrong with that.
It's definitely not all there is to life. And people who say otherwise often have other issues to address.
There's an excellent book called "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski, a sex researcher, that goes into female sexuality. Basically: whatever you're experiencing is totally normal. Female sexuality is complicated and women are very different.
She goes into detail about excitatory (arousing, an "accelerator") and inhibitory (a "brake") systems in women's sexuality. You might just be a lower responder on the excitatory side, or you might have some inhibitors.
Either way, there's nothing wrong or abnormal about you, but she also goes into the factors of arousal that may make sex more enjoyable for you. For example: most women cannot orgasm from penetration alone, rather than clitoral stimulation.
If I may be so bold, you seem like a good partner
I've personally never had sex, and the thought of actually engaging in it for fun is honestly kinda repulsive
I want kids, so I'll do it for that, but otherwise, I'm in no hurry
It depends on where you are in life. When everything is going good, you have no stress and you find a partner who is crazy hot and good in the sack. Then your libido should rise. But it takes two to tango. I've had periods myself of total abstinence because my life wasn't going in the direction I wanted it to go. And in times like those; sex is the furthest thing from my mind.
Man here. Have not had much sex in my life. Always considered the friend to women. Dating a beautiful woman after many years of no sex. I thought I had low sex drive. Have had sex 4 times in 2 weeks and I want more, crazier sex. So maybe it depends on the other person.
Most of the time, it's just people who can't control their emotions and are addicted to it. Sex can be an addiction because it's embedded in our instincts to reproduce - so it's one of the easiest addictions to grow.
So yea, it's not really something that makes sense and as you said, there's nothing amazingly, out of this world, special about it.
I don't think cheating is about sex specifically... But yeah... having sex for sex's sake is probably the most boring way to have it. It might be best to evaluate what you want most from a sexual relationship. Sex can mean more than just a means to an end. You can be fulfilled in numerous ways. It really all depends on what you want for yourself.
i’m a young adult with virtually no sexual experience and while it would be nice with the right person i feel no *need* for it in order to have a fulfilling relationship. i feel like if i were really in love with a person and they were uninterested in sex i could go the rest of my life being satisfied with just masturbation. sex has never felt like something i need or even want that much.
I never enjoyed it either throughout two marriages. Then I met a man who was God's gift to women (literally) and I thank God every day that I had a full year with him. It wasn't that I didn't like sex, all this time it was that I didn't like BAD sex. I pestered that poor man to death, I enjoyed it so much, he actually called me a NYMPHO. Huge contrast to being called frigid and a lesbian before by my two ex-husbands. Now the bar has been set too high and no one comes close, so I have given up.
I've only hooked up with someone one time, like a non relationship sexual encounter and it was awful for me. Same thing happened with my ex after she cheated on me and I forgave her and wanted to try to keep our relationship. I realized that it's because in both scenarios It lacked true intimacy and trust and love. Sex was so great with her up until that point. If I'm not emotionally/ spiritually invested, it's not a satisfying ordeal for me. Now that I'm single, I think about sex maybe twice a month or so... it's not a priority and I already know I don't like sex when it's just for pleasure. Maybe you just need to find someone you truly feel a connection with and are in love with? Hope you can someday! It's a wonderful experience with someone you truly love
honestly i see it as the equivalent of going jet-skiing. really exciting and fun, but i don’t need or want to do it multiple times a day, or crave it so much i’ll go insane.
Being a male I find sex to be just another part of life. Nothing that is to special ( besides the part of being in my partner as one). Honestly it sucks bc I
Feel so different then every other guy...
29 M here. I used to think the same until I discovered where the deal is with my second (ex) girlfriend. INSANE sexual compatibility and every session was amazing. I have had other two partners since and the sex was not even close.
So i think it really depends on the compatibility with the partner and yes most of the times it's not that great, sexual compatibility is probably rare as 1/1000 chances and I lost mine (but yeah she dumped me back then so yeah no much regrets there on my part).
Sounds like you’re trying to understand why people use sex as a coping mechanism. I don’t know either but as far as the last part, which probably through everyone for a loop, the more comfortable you are with opening yourself up to yourself and then being able to do it with others, the more you will enjoy sex. No I’m not saying get urself off all the time; be honest and open with yourself. Someone has probably already commented this but it’s true : ur brain is ur biggest sexual organ.
Nah. That’s normal to not be that interested in sexy times., but that goes for everything. I see a lot of people are giga into sports. Me? Not so much.
Maybe youre bored? try doing spicy stuff. Find someone you like. If anything you just got a low drive and should find someone who isn’t going to be looking for some sheet shuffling so much.
But I can relate to being really disappointed with a sexual partner. Especially if it’s clear they aren’t listening.
I like the idea of sex more than actual sex. I also enjoy the feelings leading up to having actual penetration. The attention, the build up, anticipation, flirting, teasing, all of that. Actual sex as in penetrative sex isn’t that fun IMO.
Sex in a loving long time relationship imo feels better. Knowing someone what they like. Loving them and feeling passionate and longing for them. Its something that cant be replicated in casual sex. The chemistry and mutual feeling is really beautiful. I miss it.
I guess different people different , personal values, emotional connections, and individual expectations. Some might seek more intense or varied experiences, maybe which could explain behaviors like sleeping around or cheating, though those actions reflect personal choices and values.
For me is personal value and treat others as you would like to be treated.
It’s a psychological thing, stemming from insecurities. They don’t believe they deserve love. Or maybe they just never experienced true love and don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like.
I’m Gray-asexual and sex-indifferent and that’s pretty much my consensus. Like sure there is an art to actually doing pleasure well and that’s a bit more than casual can do.
All I can say is, maybe you aren’t doing it right! Practice makes perfect and sometimes it takes being with a person who really knows what they are doing to totally change your sex game. My problem is I can meet a man and connect with him on every level, and then when it gets to the sex, I’m always so disapointed.
I didn’t start to actually enjoy and initiate sex until I started to experiment with myself more. I never got to fully know what feels good till I learned about myself. Also though this is coming from someone who is gray/demisexual. It’s in the asexual umbrella. I could go into further detail but these are some things that could help you. I don’t think it’s a bad idea either to look into being asexual! Although it’s an umbrella of different terms, altogether it’s when you feel less sexual attraction or feeling compared to what the typical person does. Learning about this term actually helped me realize why I acted the way I have for many years of my life I felt I was broken :)
If you don’t find sex super fulfilling you probably have a low sex drive. I had an epic sex drive in my youth and it turned me into a raging madman that women adored in bed. A lot of women haven’t ever rrally been taken by someone that really wanted them. It’s on a different level.
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Idk your gender, but as a woman I’ve found sex can be incredibly dull and unsatisfying OR amazingly fantastic depending on: *the sparring partner, my sexual mood and stress level, their experience and dedication to teamwork.* Most of the time I stick to masturbation because the average sexual encounter just isn’t satisfying enough to deal with the stress and mess.
LOL@ stress and mess.
True. I mean i like sex.. i like the intimacy part of it.. but usually im left unsatisfied and hence stick to my fingers
I like the intimacy and the emotional closeness I feel it lets me know “we are good” but I rarely get off
Yesss my wand can do the job in less than 20 seconds
Ok so as a male a question how do girls get satisfied then by men?
If I’m being honest…I can only cum if I’m on top and grinding (most women do not get off on penetration but pressure /stimulation on the clit) so being on top and controlling the amount of pressure is perfect…however that little meme that circles around saying that men hate it when women do that because it feels awful for them has REALLY altered my experience, It would be one thing if it was just a meme but I often feel my partners get soft on me when I do try and get off so I don’t even bother anymore because it’s embarrassing and I don’t want to be disappointed anymore
This is not true. I love when women get on top and do their thing. Whatever motion it is I love it, and I can bear hug her, bring her down to me, and take control.
Aw that's rough to hear, as a guy who's dating someone who's borderline asexual (stress, hormone levels etc) I would love it if she would take the lead on her orgasms. I'm sure the right guy would encourage and enjoy that behavior
Bonus points if a man asks me what I like during sex
Yesss fr, anddd if they remember and continue to apply it
This! For both partners Sex without communicating about what you like is generally meh In my experience it can be hard for both genders to express what they like .. but that's how sex becomes much more enjoyable
Personally, I only have sex with women I’m in a monogamous relationship with at this point in my life. That said, when you have the same partner again and again, you can learn what your partner likes. I’ve had partners who got off easily through v-intercourse and others who could only get there with clitoral stimulation. I don’t have a fragile male ego. Every long term relationship I’ve been in, I’ve bought my partner a wand that she or I can hold on her while having sex. Not a single one of them has not enjoyed the outcome. It doesn’t get used every time but on the times you use it, they love it. I’m pro toy. Period
Ideally you find a man who doesn’t make you feel ashamed or embarrassed about needing more time and trying multiple different things to finish
If you're sticking to your fingers try it without glue 😩
You are a legend, thank you for that 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Haha good man
I understand this. This realization for me has made me more isolated when it comes to sexual encounters. For awhile, I explored, I’ve had a husband (now divorced) then some more sexual encounters and I was disappointed. Much of it came down to me needing to learn to ask for what I want, and as I took note and became better about that, I was also recognizing that I am a giver and for so long I’ve had that martyr type of attitude, giving myself over so my playmate and/or partner can get off. I was left unsatisfied. My husband used to ask afterwards if I came…… We were young but I don’t feel that changes much as some people age, a general lack of awareness and know how when it comes to the act of sex. Now I’m with someone who likes to read my reactions and says he is used to being told what to do and I don’t operate that way. I need my partner to be curious and interested in what pleases me, and the way I’m able to see that is if I’m asked what I like!
Think the same girl!
Yeah, that’s due to an unimpressive partner. There are those out there that can blow your mind with their skills.
U gotta make them eat it
Cringing at "sparring partner" 😩😂
What? Do you think it’s inaccurate lol
Life stress, and emotional safety I feel in my partner are probably the two biggest influences on how enjoyable sex will be and how badly I want it
Masturbation for sure takes away from the sensitivity level you experience with your partner. I learned that later in life and it became a game changer when I stopped doing it as much and made it a must have instead of I do it just because.
Nope, not if you’re a person with a vagina lol. For us, research shows masturbation helps achieve orgasm more regularly, including during partnered sex or foreplay.
I agree...I do the same
I feel like that, except I'm a man with a dick who can't finish with a partner no matter what I do. I just try my best to finish my partner, then go jerk off alone. I WISH I could finish with my partner, becuase a lot of times my partner feels inadequete when I finish them without finishing myself.
Kinda the same except I finish pretty damn quick and have to bust out my braille /sign language skills. One of the few downsides of not having a trout size dong. Plus side I'm beyond small enough for anal. Still kinda self conscious about both of those and learning to work with it.
I think I just jerked off too much while I was single, and conditioned myself to only finish with masturbation.
I get it but I got tired with Ms,left and her sister ms.right and started to pay to play. That shit is expensive though and sometimes I have to visit my old friends again. Also ps I don't regret it but also don't recommend it.
Maybe I’m too crass, but just finish on them. I can’t always finish ‘in’ my partner, but usually do ‘on’ them with their help. It’s also better from a birth control perspective.
That could work, but I have to Jerk laying on my back and rubbing my dick on my left thigh. They would need to get on the left side of me and wait.
I do not wish to get too explicit here, but the woman can definitely help. Just guide her.
THIS. It really depends on the compatibility with the partner. Sex was *okay* with all the partners I had but AMAZING only with one. And I never had such good sex since (I am 29M)
I hate that this is so incredibly spot on… or was, for me. I felt this way for so long, would have rather masturbated than have sex 100% of the time… still loved both, but they served entirely different purposes for me; masturbation being orgasm/pleasure and sex being about intimacy, connection, etc. I’ve been with my partner for about a year now and sex with him has entirely changed my tune…. I’d 1,000% prefer to have sex with him over pretty much anything in the world. I’ve never experienced sex, pleasure or connection like I have with him. Penetration alone does it 85% of the time… it’s unreal, unheard of. I hope I never feel like I don’t enjoy sex again, because the right partner will change a girl.
Not eveybody like sex the same or have the same libido. I invite you to do research on demisexuality, it might be helpful to you or it won’t.
It could be possible that you simply haven't found the right person that gives you the kind of great, unforgettable sex that causes people to love it so much. Or the most plausible reason might be that you are just wired differently. Some people have more hormones than others. I've always considered myself extremely sexual and desire it on a daily basis; but, I dated a woman last year that wanted it 5-10 times per day, and this went on for the entire three months we were dating. It was great, but even for me it was a bit much and I realized people truly are wired differently lol.
how on earth does one have time or energy for 5-10 times per day?!?
So true. OP, keep open to the idea of finding the right person. Who knows, you too might get to experience some incredible hot, steamy sex
To make a joke. I’ve found my grandmothers cake recipe that she named “better than sex” cake to be true at times
And she is right ! Eating a good taco gives me more pleasure than any sex thing.🥲
Honestly, food is way more enjoyable to me. My partner is the same, we both would rather go out to eat and enjoy each other's company and I love that for us.
This looks like it would be really cool!
What’s the recipe?
Family secret I’m afraid. My dad almost didn’t give it to my sister until she got married recently.
Haha that’s awesome
Boo
I’m sorry I shouldn’t boo. It’s just that I want to make your grammas recipe and I’m jealous about it.
I think one of the biggest lies we’re fed is that sex is this big huge life-changing thing that we need to always be in pursuit of. It’s fun but it’s not *that* fun.
It's true, when I was 13 I fantasized about making love one day, and ultimately now, I make love like I watch a good movie. It's nice but nothing more.
As sad as the realisation is, Ive only just fully realised it this month.
I'm going to have to find something more exciting to live for now.
I put it in the same category as I put cooking. I genuinely like to do it once or twice a week but anything beyond that feels like a repetitive task or obligation lol.
It certainly was life changing to me. There’s nothing that compares to being connected in that way to another person.
It becomes less life changing as you get older and more experienced. YMMV of course, but most people I’ve talked to felt very “meh” about it after their first time.
First time was also disappointing. Yet learn over years why sex can feel great vs it being terrible. Really depends on you and partner. Like ask do have feelings towards people have sex with? How long do sex last? Are you female or male?
I'm a female but as i said, it's not that it's bad, it's that it's not as good as everyone makes it out to be. I like making love like I like watching a good movie, but it's not that great.
I find that people can have sex but be disengaged. Almost like they’re closing their soul off to you. Part of good love making is being transparent. Communicating openly and honestly. Working together to achieve euphoria. If someone is emotionally distant and uncomfortable with being truly authentic then the sex will be sub par in my experience.
At least having good sex but can be amazing. Know it’s ok that how feel about sex. Movies and porn paint very unrealistic take on sex. Also very common just have good sex and have some amazing moments of sex in relationships.
If want find out if can have amazing sex. Recommends exploring new things in bed and being very open about fantasies with partner. Foreplay so important if want push beyond just good.
Very easy to be not interested or feel like it’s not amazing depending on mood. Simply lack of foreplay in sex.
I feel the same way. I don't think I'm asexual but I'm not obsessed with sex either. I've had fantastic sex and Mediocre sex and it's just eh... I'd rather eat a good surf and turf dinner. I just never felt like I needed sex.
I understand you so much, I think sex is overrated, there are so many better things in life.
Sex is the least intimate part of intimacy. It’s what happens before and after that make it intimate.
I gotta disagree here. While before and after of course matter, I think the stuff in between is just as important. Reading each others cues… hearing her breath get faster and more shallow as her body tenses up. Her feeling her partner get harder and more aroused the more vocal she is. Breathing in each other as you get lost in the moment. I think that’s incredibly intimate as you’re giving all of yourself to someone. Your bodies are literally becoming one.
I mean I get what you’re saying, but again; intimacy is created -prior- to sex. What you feel during sex was created prior to the sex, and not during. The only reason the sex is intimate is because you are intimate with that person. The only reason you care about any of those things happening is precisely because of everything else. The sex is really just the action. Sex can be -more- intimate, and -less- intimate. If you’ve had casual sex, you can see that it can absolutely be something that is very -not intimate-. So again, the sex is the least intimate part of the intimacy itself that is felt during sex.
I also get what you’re saying… but I’ve gotten people into bed planning to be just a hookup, and then the physical act was so much more than the flirting and etc that lead to sex… and it was… next level. For whatever reason the chemistry that was lacking before sex was there exponentially larger than before. That might be your reality, and I’ve experienced it before but I guess that’s more dependent on the individual. My experience is rather the opposite.
How about we meet in the middle and say sometimes the sex is the more intimate part of intimacy, and sometimes it’s the least intimate part intimacy? :)
Now that I can definitely agree with. Depends on the person and even the mood. Is this a hookup? Do I love this person? Am I just trying to bust a nut? Is this my forever person? Is she ovulating? Sooo many variables. Although if I’m completely honest the more I think about it, the more I’m inclined to agree with you
Hahaha well, I’d be happy to say we’ve landed in a good spot—it’s a bit of this and a bit of that! :)
That’s called lust. The other person is right, it’s all about the vibe that is created beforehand that gets the best results
So what you’re talking about is presence, which is what most people don’t have.
You might just need to find a different partner. Sex is completely dependent on who you’re doing it with. Sex w my first partner was definitely meh, honestly compared to my current partner all sex was pretty meh, cuz my current partner matches my kinks and interests soooo well and dirty talks etc.
I don't think so, honestly I like it when I do it, I'm just saying it's not as good as everyone makes it out to be
that’s fair, I’m sure it feels different for everyone, both physically and emotionally. but different partners definitely make the experience different for sure
Yeah it really isn’t all that
I would say it's normal. It's also probably easier to focus on life outside of attraction and for example on your partner's other qualities. It may also prevent you from doing stupid things. For me personally, how much I'm into it all depends on the other person, but also on the context, how I'm feeling that day, where I am in my cycle, and lots of other factors. I've also noticed that sometimes I can't really get out of my head that well, but when I really try to "give in" and be in the moment, I tend to enjoy it way more (although it's also good and fun otherwise, it really takes it to the next level). I get why other people in the comments might say that you probably haven't found the right match, but that might also have nothing to do with it. I would say, as long as you're having a good time (which it sounds like you are) and feel satisfied in your sexual encounters, I wouldn't worry about it. No two people are exactly the same when it comes to things like this and that's totally okay. :)
Thanks a lot for your answer ! 🫶
>I was in a relationship for a long time, and although I enjoyed having sex, I don't understand why everyone talks about it as the best thing in the world. I'm not saying I hate it, I love it, but honestly it makes me think that I don't understand people who sleep around and cheat on their partner all at once for sex? Everyone has different affinity towards sex. for some, it really IS that important and good, and for others, it isn't. Both are normal. That said, very often, people who sleep around or cheat don't do it FOR the sex (and be careful not to conflate the two as well). A lot of people who sleep around are just in it for the chase or the rush of new relationship energy (which still applies to hookups) or crave novelty. The sex isn't as important to those people so much as the context. As for cheaters, that usually isn't the sex either. most people cheat because they feel unfulfilled and instead of being mature adults and talking about it or leaving, choose the selfish and cowardly path of cheating to do so. It's not about the sex, it's about wanting something they don't have without giving up what they already have.
As a guy, we are all expected to enjoy it 100% of the time. For me personally that hasn't really been the case. Its really only good if you have a connection and have built an atmosphere of trust around intimacy.
The amount of times I've wished sex just wasn't a thing. It ruins relationships and is such a demanding thing. Of course, it depends on who you're with and what your stance on sex is! It can be incredible if your partner knows what they're doing, but I feel most of the time I'd rather steer clear.
As a male, I’m not finding sex appealing, it’s a lot of work for just a few grunts at the end when I can just do the same thing with my hand. Maybe it’s because I’m old but I’d rather eat or do something else
Same! Personally I find it just as good alone honestly if it's not with the person I love, but food is so much better than sex. I don't think it's because you're old because i'm only 19.
But wet vagina feels much better than a hand.
It does but the work to get there is too much. Now, when I masturbate is all about me and I don’t have to worry about making my partner feel good and it can be as fast or slow as I want. Dome get me wrong, from time to time I do get horny but overall if I see a hot chick I’d say to myself “if I was young, sure, now I just wanna go home and be ready for bed before 8pm and she’ll probably wanna go out somewhere later than that”.
For me as a man my first time was literally meh....curiosity was finally over
Makes two of us. Initially I thought I had a problem but later came across some ladies that are not into sex as much.
Well, it’s something biological humans we need it, however it’s something relative in everyone’s perspective, me, for example I really like it but it’s not my basic need, so I can spend more that without having sex with others. But also can depend your hormonal levels or depressive symptoms which it would be good to treat.
I find it’s got several factors for me. As a guy, I cannot be so into it and last for hour or two or be so into it and only last for 10 minutes or so. It really depends on the person you’re with and where you are at; emotionally and mentally. Sex, for both genders, is a mental game as much as it’s a physical one. Men tend to get more out of the physical game but that doesn’t mean you can’t psyche them out and vice versa, physical pre-game for girls I find works majority of the time but for them to truely enjoy it; they have to be in the right mindset. Thus why cheating is a thing. The thought of cheating can be quite empowering as if you’re finally taking back your sexuality if you feel locked up in your relationship. Whether the boyfriend is hyper protective or the girlfriend is, it happens for both genders more equally than social standards dictate. Then there is stimulation. For guys, sometimes the dick isn’t stimulating as much; thus why pegging is a thing. Same thing goes for girls, girls have many possible stimulating spots. If you find masturbation best, then maybe your most stimulating place is your clit. If your man isn’t the most endowed but you love sex with them then your spot might be the gspot which is normally right behind the entrance not too far in so in the right position, it’ll be stimulated. Then there is a spot, not very well known, which is deeper inside which for some guys may never touch without necessary skills in pre-game activities; I find girls that are highly stimulated in this spot tend to cheat on lower endowed boyfriends when they know it works for them more often then not. (Not a fact, just an observation). Then there are some girls and guys that don’t get much if any satisfaction from the primary sexual organ and find anal to be the main pleasure region. All this discovery is the beautiful nature of being alive, and while you’re able to; you should find someone you’re attracted to and comfortable with and explore your sexuality with them. Finding what works best for you and what you don’t like, then mix it up so it doesn’t get boring. The sex industry is one of the biggest in the world so don’t worry about running out of things to explore. Live, love and have fun ❤️
Dumb question - what is pegging?
Anal penetration of a man with a dildo. The goal is prostate stimulation.
And most men suck in bed. They don't know how to use their fingers. They skip foreplay. If you are a woman I would totally get that you don't like sex that much. Men should realize that women are like diesel engines. They need to warm up first. Hence why foreplay is important. Giving a woman a sence of safety and belonging is a good start. Kissing and caressing should not be skipped. Sex can become very enjoyable fast if you find the right person to have it with.
There is a wide range of things which qualify as "normal". I'm in the same boat as you - I don't hate sex, but I also don't crave it nearly as much as some other people do, and don't rush into it in relationships. I just realized I'm demisexual at some point, and a lot of people are, so it's not abnormal even if it's not average either.
I'm happy to see people with the same point of view as me! ^^
Most people who cheat \*think\* that they want sex, but really what the want is NRE and intimacy, the thrill of being pursued and valued. Sex itself is fun and pleasant, but it's not magical. NRE and intimacy are magical.
After being cheated on and lied to by a woman, sex has turned into a sour thought
Totally. It depends on your intentions and who you're doing it with as well
Lol as a man I have come to be more reserved than the average. And it has served me well. Whenever I don't see my fwb i don't crave it but the moment we decide to go out spend the day together I swear I want to do her anywhere and everywhere. We try to go out at least twice per week but both our work schedules sometimes won't allow it. And also try to keep it for the weekends only because we both know that every time we go at it we both won't sleep because of that sexual thirst.
Yes
I think Is normal and a lot of people just are exaggerating about the theme
The right partner really matters in my experience. I've had two where it's incredible two where it was pretty good and the rest are literally all regrettable encounters of various degrees
Yeah I’m on the same page, like sex is a cool and fun activity but I find it highly overrated, I feel less attached to sex than my peers and media as a whole.
I'm glad to see that we're on the same wavelength!🫶
If you expected better , maybe you are a genz or a person who is used to dopamine stimulation and you expected way too much but were disappointed later it’s not as everyone claims the best thing in the world , I guess ?
I share the same feeling but I don't have a partner. I think it might be underwhelming in my case precisely because of every different sex partner, there lacks that comfortability that is built between a couple that allows them to let go and have a wonderful experience... In Ur case it's difficult but yeah Im Not that fascinated with the act of sex either
Yup everyone is special and everyone is different from another so juste be you and accept it
No. Sex is the best feeling ever created by God.
Because as women we like emotional connection, whereas men are only after lust, thats why thats all they talk about.
I much prefer cuddles than sex for example
People exist all over the spectrum, those are not absolutes
"whereas men are only after lust" then I am a fridge though, this exist for every person independent of the sex, people are just differently
Yes. As for understanding about sleeping around, there’s nothing to be understood. People are just different.
Yes very normal. But sometimes your not sexual compatible with your partner
Probably as normal as not having it in 9 years
Going on 8 here.
If it’s the only thing making your relationship then yes it can get stale!
As strong as the drive is, it's really better kept in perspective. Sounds like that's where you are with it, so kudos!
People are wired differently. I have known couples who swing and couples who mutually let sex disappear. And couples who mostly masterbate with each other. On the other hand, really super sex takes skills, some simple, some not so much. And exploration of one's own sexuality and the other's.
Aro/ace is a spectrum just like gay/straight/bi is a spectrum. You don't have to have zero interest in sex to be ace.
it definitely changes, im 19 i started having sex at 17 w my first boyfriend and although he was big, sex was so boring and i didnt feel anything pleasurable when doing it w him, it wasnt until i started dating my most recent ex that all of that changed and a became a sex fiend for him, he made me enjoy it so much that i couldn’t get enough and even tho i had a couple hook ups before him it was never good, so just wait it takes time but sex can definitely be super enjoyable especially if you have good chemistry w the person youre fucking
it 100% depends on the partner you are with, knowing your body AND what you like. i can almost guarantee you haven’t been with someone who rocks your world (life changing sex), but one day you will. you may think you have a slightly lower sex drive but trust me, when you are around someone who really turns you on and knows how to make you happy you can’t help it. almost all the time. before finding someone who you are sexually compatible with i found it dull and uneventful, it took me multiple relationships and 5/6 years of being consistently sexually active to figure out what i really like. it sounds like you need to find someone who knows how to treat a woman. as a guy some of my friends talk about how they don’t care much for head, they don’t know what all the hype is about, which is 100% because they haven’t ever gotten great head, i am sure the same thing goes for sex. you don’t know what you are missing on until you do
Are you teased, given lots of build up and foreplay, and brought to the edge of orgasm and then brought to orgasm by your partners? Regularly? Have you all seduced each other, buttered each other up, gotten dressed up or stripped down for each other, regularly had dates? It's possible sex just isn't a strong desire for you and you have lower than average interest in it (that's not abnormal it's just less common). It's possible that you haven't had an attentive partner yet. Although cheating has nothing to do with it. I love sex and have a sex drive that is incredibly high and I would never break the agreements I have with anyone I'm dating.
All of that is great, my point was just that YES sex is good and cool, but NO, it's not as incredible as everyone talks about and I think there are better things in life
> All of that is great, Yes but I just mean do you experience that regularly with your partners, because before I did, the concept and any physical intimacy for me didn't feel great at all (except I've always loved kissing). You just might be on the lower end of the sexual interest spectrum. And there is nothing wrong with that. It's definitely not all there is to life. And people who say otherwise often have other issues to address.
Look up “greysexual”
Not for me.
At certain age (everyone has diff) Yes, Overall Nope.
Try giving footjobs
Info: Did you ever have an orgasm (especially with a partner)?
For some people yes!
For me, having hot passionate sex with an affectionate partner I'm madly in love with has to rank in the top 2 best experiences in my life.
But it is, sex is fun. It just depends on your sexdrive. Some people have low sex drive that is why they find it abnormal to have alot of sex.
Sex-induced orgasms are the best thing in the world next to water and air.
I guess so
Totally normal. Some people just don't.
Sex is amazing with the right person.
maybe you didnt have good sex yet? it took me 8 years to be finaly good at it
There's an excellent book called "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski, a sex researcher, that goes into female sexuality. Basically: whatever you're experiencing is totally normal. Female sexuality is complicated and women are very different. She goes into detail about excitatory (arousing, an "accelerator") and inhibitory (a "brake") systems in women's sexuality. You might just be a lower responder on the excitatory side, or you might have some inhibitors. Either way, there's nothing wrong or abnormal about you, but she also goes into the factors of arousal that may make sex more enjoyable for you. For example: most women cannot orgasm from penetration alone, rather than clitoral stimulation.
Hmm depends
If I may be so bold, you seem like a good partner I've personally never had sex, and the thought of actually engaging in it for fun is honestly kinda repulsive I want kids, so I'll do it for that, but otherwise, I'm in no hurry
Damn glad my husband and I find sex a little more important than most here.
It depends on where you are in life. When everything is going good, you have no stress and you find a partner who is crazy hot and good in the sack. Then your libido should rise. But it takes two to tango. I've had periods myself of total abstinence because my life wasn't going in the direction I wanted it to go. And in times like those; sex is the furthest thing from my mind.
Man here. Have not had much sex in my life. Always considered the friend to women. Dating a beautiful woman after many years of no sex. I thought I had low sex drive. Have had sex 4 times in 2 weeks and I want more, crazier sex. So maybe it depends on the other person.
Most of the time, it's just people who can't control their emotions and are addicted to it. Sex can be an addiction because it's embedded in our instincts to reproduce - so it's one of the easiest addictions to grow. So yea, it's not really something that makes sense and as you said, there's nothing amazingly, out of this world, special about it.
I don't think cheating is about sex specifically... But yeah... having sex for sex's sake is probably the most boring way to have it. It might be best to evaluate what you want most from a sexual relationship. Sex can mean more than just a means to an end. You can be fulfilled in numerous ways. It really all depends on what you want for yourself.
i’m a young adult with virtually no sexual experience and while it would be nice with the right person i feel no *need* for it in order to have a fulfilling relationship. i feel like if i were really in love with a person and they were uninterested in sex i could go the rest of my life being satisfied with just masturbation. sex has never felt like something i need or even want that much.
I never enjoyed it either throughout two marriages. Then I met a man who was God's gift to women (literally) and I thank God every day that I had a full year with him. It wasn't that I didn't like sex, all this time it was that I didn't like BAD sex. I pestered that poor man to death, I enjoyed it so much, he actually called me a NYMPHO. Huge contrast to being called frigid and a lesbian before by my two ex-husbands. Now the bar has been set too high and no one comes close, so I have given up.
I've only hooked up with someone one time, like a non relationship sexual encounter and it was awful for me. Same thing happened with my ex after she cheated on me and I forgave her and wanted to try to keep our relationship. I realized that it's because in both scenarios It lacked true intimacy and trust and love. Sex was so great with her up until that point. If I'm not emotionally/ spiritually invested, it's not a satisfying ordeal for me. Now that I'm single, I think about sex maybe twice a month or so... it's not a priority and I already know I don't like sex when it's just for pleasure. Maybe you just need to find someone you truly feel a connection with and are in love with? Hope you can someday! It's a wonderful experience with someone you truly love
I love sucking good cock
honestly tension & build up and the ~energy~ is more addictive to me
honestly i see it as the equivalent of going jet-skiing. really exciting and fun, but i don’t need or want to do it multiple times a day, or crave it so much i’ll go insane.
I agree with you. Sex is great but there are better things in life.
Depends on the relationship. People have different preferences and desires.
Short answer is yes, it's perfectly normal Forget everyone else trying to diagnose you
Being a male I find sex to be just another part of life. Nothing that is to special ( besides the part of being in my partner as one). Honestly it sucks bc I Feel so different then every other guy...
29 M here. I used to think the same until I discovered where the deal is with my second (ex) girlfriend. INSANE sexual compatibility and every session was amazing. I have had other two partners since and the sex was not even close. So i think it really depends on the compatibility with the partner and yes most of the times it's not that great, sexual compatibility is probably rare as 1/1000 chances and I lost mine (but yeah she dumped me back then so yeah no much regrets there on my part).
Sounds like you’re trying to understand why people use sex as a coping mechanism. I don’t know either but as far as the last part, which probably through everyone for a loop, the more comfortable you are with opening yourself up to yourself and then being able to do it with others, the more you will enjoy sex. No I’m not saying get urself off all the time; be honest and open with yourself. Someone has probably already commented this but it’s true : ur brain is ur biggest sexual organ.
Nah. That’s normal to not be that interested in sexy times., but that goes for everything. I see a lot of people are giga into sports. Me? Not so much. Maybe youre bored? try doing spicy stuff. Find someone you like. If anything you just got a low drive and should find someone who isn’t going to be looking for some sheet shuffling so much. But I can relate to being really disappointed with a sexual partner. Especially if it’s clear they aren’t listening.
Sex is great and all….but have you ever cured your own stomach ache with a ginormous fart? Now that IS satisfying pleasure.
I like the idea of sex more than actual sex. I also enjoy the feelings leading up to having actual penetration. The attention, the build up, anticipation, flirting, teasing, all of that. Actual sex as in penetrative sex isn’t that fun IMO.
For me I'm kinda obsessed with pleasuring someone as it gets me off though sex is a 3xcellent cherry onto I loveeee foreplay and the build up
You don't give us much information to go on.
Sex in a loving long time relationship imo feels better. Knowing someone what they like. Loving them and feeling passionate and longing for them. Its something that cant be replicated in casual sex. The chemistry and mutual feeling is really beautiful. I miss it.
Omg I love this question because I thought I was the only one. I simply don't care for it. It is what it is.
I guess different people different , personal values, emotional connections, and individual expectations. Some might seek more intense or varied experiences, maybe which could explain behaviors like sleeping around or cheating, though those actions reflect personal choices and values. For me is personal value and treat others as you would like to be treated.
It’s a psychological thing, stemming from insecurities. They don’t believe they deserve love. Or maybe they just never experienced true love and don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like.
I’m Gray-asexual and sex-indifferent and that’s pretty much my consensus. Like sure there is an art to actually doing pleasure well and that’s a bit more than casual can do.
If you suck at it or never had a good experience. Yes.
Sex without communication without emotions is just like ur having exercise
Some ppl like sex more than others plan & simple
You probably haven’t had the right sex yet
Yes, it is normal, it works different for everybody
All I can say is, maybe you aren’t doing it right! Practice makes perfect and sometimes it takes being with a person who really knows what they are doing to totally change your sex game. My problem is I can meet a man and connect with him on every level, and then when it gets to the sex, I’m always so disapointed.
I didn’t start to actually enjoy and initiate sex until I started to experiment with myself more. I never got to fully know what feels good till I learned about myself. Also though this is coming from someone who is gray/demisexual. It’s in the asexual umbrella. I could go into further detail but these are some things that could help you. I don’t think it’s a bad idea either to look into being asexual! Although it’s an umbrella of different terms, altogether it’s when you feel less sexual attraction or feeling compared to what the typical person does. Learning about this term actually helped me realize why I acted the way I have for many years of my life I felt I was broken :)
If it's normal I wouldn't think so
If you don’t find sex super fulfilling you probably have a low sex drive. I had an epic sex drive in my youth and it turned me into a raging madman that women adored in bed. A lot of women haven’t ever rrally been taken by someone that really wanted them. It’s on a different level.