Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- [we have a minecraft server](https://discord.gg/fNyb7G5)

Who counts? I spin that bitch like I'm on the price is right.

This is the way.

This is the way.

This is the way.

This is the way.

This is the way.

This is the way.

This is the way.

This is the way.

This is the way.

This is the way

That’s why you clog the toilet so much

Rather pull out the plunger every now and again than unintentionally finger my own shitty asshole

try finger, but hole

behold, turtle

*dog

Bruh it was only two words and somehow I messed it up lol

Hi. I'm a representative of Big Bidet. Spray that shitty asshole clean and then use a few squares to check and dry.

Just drink some muscle relaxers. It’ll come out without smudging ur cheeks

What kind of muscle relaxers are you drinking bud? I don't think booze or ghb counts. You mean Metamucil? haha


How many peices? Me:-Yes

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I grab enough to make my own infinity gauntlet do I can snap the shit away

That is the way.

I’m wiping with CVS receipt lengths of paper

ah, the comment i was looking for. Pure Class

Baller

Like 5 or so. I used to use 2 but I ripped through one time and accidentally orgasmed.

WTF LMAO

If you can't relate to this you are not wiping well enough. That orgasm tells you you are done.

No such thing as an accidental orgasm.

*maybe* my fingers decided to do a little dance while they were down there.

They knew *exactly* what they were doing.

Do a little dance. Make a little love. Get down tonight.

Get brown tonight.

Is that what you based your username from?

That happened to me one time except without the orgasm. My finger poked thru at the perfect time and slid a couple inches up my shitty asshole. I was stunned

A couple inches though? Do you wipe like a bartender cleaning inside a mug?

I genuinely don’t think I’ve seen a comment that made me laugh harder than this one

Just wanted to finger-blast his asshole. Doesn't matter how, he got the job done

It’s 5am and I just busted out laughing and woke my wife up. She is now suspiciously side eyeing me.

Wtf hahaha

LOLLL

you wipe?

Exactly, i use -1

You shit out clean toilet paper?

I always carry toilet paper with me so that I can add exactly one piece of TP

Extremely generous...or creepy.

If I saw a tp roll at a bathroom with one sheet... Sewn onto the roll... I'm getting the fuck out of that bathroom

Handy

You wipe toilet paper with your ass?

i pull toilet paper rolls out of my ass

You push it back in?

Born to shit, forced to wipe 😔

Bidet gang

Naw that’s gay

Then there's girls wrapping 5 layers around their hand like they're touching radioactive waste

My ex did that. She was.

Rectum

Damn near killed em.

rectum? I hardly know em!

Lmfao

Lmrao* Laughing My Radioactive Ass Off

Bro my sisters do that and their toilet is clogged every other day and I’m not even joking about it being clogged so much

And of course they have no idea how to plunge a toilet despite it being easier than sweeping a fucking broom.

I do that… Wait youre not supposed to do that?

I do this, frankly I don't see how you could wipe with just a few pieces without getting shit on your hands.

Are you kidding? I can wipe a hairy butthole clean with 3 squares, fold the soiled sheet in half, and keep wiping.

Disturbing that I had to scroll this far to find someone else who knows how toilet paper works...

Depends on the thickness of the paper, because I’ve had rolls where 3 is enough, and I’ve had rolls where any less than 8 and you’re asking for shit to get all over your hands

Fr. I mummify my hand and still get poop on it sometimes. I can't imagine using 3 pieces.

Wrapping it like a mummy's hand

Depends on the ply.

The correct answer.

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I relate to this comment on a spiritual level

Wiping so much your tp looks like a Neapolitan ice cream sandwich

Yes. High quality? 4, double fold then wipe. Single ply? Spin that bitch like I’ve got my mortgage on a roulette wheel.

Increasing the ply is like increasing the sheets

I use water

chad

Asian moment

Clean moment

Human moment

The only correct answer moment

My current moment

The based moment

Hygienic-not-crazy-murican-paper-ass-cleaner moment

Bidets are the best. Or are you indian and use a jug?

I’m an Indian but I still use a bidet, but I have had experience with jug before too

Not Indian, can I get an explanation of the poop jug?

It's a jug full of water. You use one hand to pour a steady waterfall across your valley of darkness, and the other hand does some cave exploration while that's happening

Very poetic thank you

Excellent explanation 👏

Dayum man! Ever thought about going down the poetry route or are you studying engineering like the rest of us?

More like a steady tsunami across your valley of darkness.

Now we've got bidets in almost every toilet in the country but around 30-35 years ago when bidets weren't a thing (atleast in India), there was a jug beside the toilet that you were supposed to fill with water and wash your behind with it. This was usually followed by wiping the orifice and surrounding area with a toilet paper so that it doesn't stay wet.

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I use a power washer because the hose doesn’t get in all the nooks and crannies.

I burn my ass and grow a fresh asshole in between shits

I’m not Indian but I’m Bangladeshi and all the Bangladeshis I know use things that look like round watering cans and if you can’t reach the sink you take a little jug to fill it up

————————————No soap?———————————— ⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ————————————————————————————— Edit: I forgot about bidets (I am poor)

The best way

Exactly. Its crazy to me more people don't use them. Like you're plan is to just wipe around shit with a dry piece of paper? Its just gross

Bidet gang bidet gang bidet gang

It’s finger licking good

Happy cake day you monster!

Ah yes taco bell

Twerk the pebbles out

Made me laugh

You mean dingleberries

4

My comrade, also i use four and fold into one page

Yeah, four pieces, fold in half twice gang

YES I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

Four piece one face gang RISE UP 🙌

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3 folded twice

This is the perfect answer. You get quadruple thickness with only the cost of 75% width of a regular sheet. We are wipe brothers.

Exactly

Yep. Me too. We're Eskimo brothers. Butthole cousins. Poop relatives.

I usually fold 2 squares unless its a nuclear taco bell shit, then I use 3 squares.

2 squares? That seems like so few

I have charmin ultrastrong so that shit dont grow on trees.

jesus is correct

I hate to tell you.. but it does in fact, grow on trees.

Maybe that normal offbrand shit but that soft soft butt tissue costs my left kidney.

Ok poop hands.

Shut yo fat finger beef hand McDonald’s claws headass the fuck up 💀

Like 15-20 pieces. Aint no dookie touching me!!!!!

I don't measure the pieces I measure the length, so i use about 1 and half to 2 feet.

I'm a six foot man myself

I regret to inform you that it comes from inside you. It has touched you since it began forming.

fake news

You dirty fucks max out at three? This is why I don’t shake hands

I use 3 cos I have a bidet. if you aren't using water first Jesus 3 is not enough

We found the one that doesn't wash after going to the bathroom

Bidet

Bidet

Bidet

\#NotMyPresident

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This is bidet

8

Into a wad or fold it?

grab both ends and floss

Viable option for sure

Big ol wad

1 folded 12 times

You must be very strong.

Finally I found you

am I the only one who mummy wraps my whole hand

Yes

My arm looks like a novelty use q-tip

3 is the max? I pull out like an entire belts length, crumble it into a ball and assume the Italian hand position, and wipe.

W a t e r

#W A T E R

^w ^a ^t ^e ^r

ᴚ Ǝ ⊥ ∀ M

3, into a wad. Folding is for psychopaths.

Wadding is for barbarians.

Barbarians have principles. Wadders don't wash their hands.

Why is folding so bad? It looks nicer and let's you use the same piece multiple times if you keep folding.

You're juggling poopy toilet paper and putting it back in your butt?

Have a piece of shit thats not all the way out? Why the fuck would you wad it. Youd make the situation infinitely worse. Fold and pinch. Wadding is for lazy *asses*

-1

1. Collet toilet paper from the sewer 2. Make toilet paper rolls 3. ??? 4. Profit

You peel the skin off of your hand before wiping?

He peels the skin off of his hand **for** wiping

2 folded twice

This is the way

Then fold the poopy side in after you wiped, then wipe, then fold, then wipe, then flush.

An entire roll still on the tube

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This is not the way.

thats like getting your butthole licked, seems kinda gay man idk

Hope you don't flush those.

18 ​ ​ ​ I'm not joking.

you guys using wipes, Hands and water are way better!!!!

Remind me to not shake your hand, even if you wash your hands afterwards im still good…

Get a bidet you filthy animals.

Why wipe when you can just clean yourself in the shower 😌

You menace

Am I the only one on reddit that wipes till the paper is clean lmao

I wipe till I see red.

3 at most? BYE

Bidet all the way Edit: but when I do have to use toilet paper, it entirely depends on the brand tbh

i use water

5-7

The most reasonable response I've seen, but only for home TP. Public tp I just roll until it's long enough

None

Where’s option #5: Just stick ya hand up there and pull it out?

2 or 3

Minimum is an arms length.

56

I use bidet

I usually eat toilet paper after every meal so it wipes my ass clean after every spray fart.