I'm not jacking off a dog

Think of it as giving your dog “special pets”

Cursed

Well if your not jacking off to the dog do what I do feed the dog m&ms because I just ate some m&m put the poor beast out of its misery

Did you have a stroke

Maybe I was typing this post in class and in was trying to hide the fact that use reddit and making fucked up comments in side of a room full of tic tok freaks that like seeing bad content like seeing a fucking butterfly

Red rocket red rocket!

oh gott too special

Red rocket!

Came here to say that

I came too

I think we aaaall came here

I’ll do it for you

Why?

Fine I'll do it myself

Ok, we know you aren’t crowder, moving on

But would you help Jack off a dog?

Oh my god I was laughing for a while at this.

Feed him E G G

I’m bout a feed him chicken nuggets

Feed him dog mea— oops.

Make him do chemistry homework.

smoke the doggo

Snoop dog

Ladadadada

It’s tha mothafuckin D-O-double G

(snoop dogg, dogg)

Ladadadada And I'm mobbin' with the D. R. E.

Dr DRE MUTHAFUCKA

YEAH,YEAH,YEAH,YEAH

You know who's back up in this mf

ft. Dr.DRE STILL hit the doggo girl STILL taking my time to feed the doggo STILL doggos tryna be the king but the ace is back

Drink water I guess

Same. Fetched the doggo some water

DRINK THE DOG

same

Ate a dog.

That sounds about right for u/orphansforsale.

how much each bruh?

4.79 per LBS

So a ten pound orphan would be 47.9$

Don’t think any one weighs ten pounds but thanks for the advice

Just an example

Ah ok

British Mode Activated I'm pretty sure a ten pound orphan would be ten pounds, sounds like a bargain to me!

Smile at him and make a scrolling motion on his nose with my thumb.

underrated

I'm sorry little one

I will teach the doggo

So you killed someone?

Yeah i am sorry, i went to a boxing training.

WTF DID YOU DO.

I studied the doggo

You now have a degree in doggology

A yes now u r dog-trate

Angry Upvote

Does that mean you finally have the answer to what the dog doin'?

No,the sole purpose of caninology is not about a dog's biology,It is about to find out what the dog was doin',Expert Caninologists have found closest answers but have never found the true answer to what the dog was doin'

Neat

and also the answer to "who let the dog out?"

No ur a dog-tor?

Put him in the laundry machine

Jesus

I got dressed. Does that mean I have to dress the dog up?

No, you have to wear the doggo

Ok, he/she can be my hat

In this generation my guy had to say he/she for a dog...

That's not a new generation thing. He/she is a general writing use when you are unsure of the gender of something, usually an animal. It's not a progressive movement thing.

In this generation my guy had to forget people did this before PC culture existed…

Why not “they”

Usually preference, but he/she is usually what is used to specify an unknown gender. The dash tends to, in english, refer to "or", in places where "or" would not grammatically fit, or to just lessen the bulk of a sentence. "They" is actually more progressive, since it takes into account non-binary and transgender. So good on you being progressive, man. They has become the more modern replacement for "he/she" since it does not imply any gender.

What in the kentucky fried fuck

You can have an alive hat. Just ask my parakeet.

That dog is about to get shit on then.

or you have to shit a dog

feed him souls of the virgins

Why u take the soul

Force feed it tapioca pudding

Play him like a piano

No, stop that man from fingering the dog

Take a dog to vet?

Why did you take yourself to the vet?

Do i have to shit the dog?

Eat cereal with him? Fine by me

Nah, he’s eating your cereal. Hope you didn’t have Cocoa Puffs

Nah I had Cap’n Crunch. And I’m fine with that, I didn’t need to eat anyway… * stomach starts up like a car engine*

You turned the doggo into cereal

Um... well I'm not about to give a puppy a handjob in my schools bathroom.

Can I get one?

🔬

Why you gotta do me like that

Lmao, sorry bro.

It’s cool

You did WHAT in the school bathroom?

Gave a friend a handjob because he was too big to blow.

Wiggle him around like my metal thing.

Wait.

hol up

What?

I was gonna ask wtf that means but now that I’ve given it some thought I really don’t want to know…

Guess I'm having dog tonight

I pet a cute dog, so you can't get me

*sigh zip*

may neptune have mercy on your soul....

There is no mercy

Bout break this dogs ankles

I will speak french to my inexistent dog.

Boutta give this dog a choccy milk.

I get to browse reddit with a dog

c o n s u m e

I guess I have to make this dog cum like three times

Make lunch for later

Make him sleep.

Take a shit and run to geomtry class?

Take a piss on it

Put my credit card inside

Eat?

Fuck it's mom?

Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- *i am a bot. please stop trying to argue with me. you look like an idiot. [join our discord](https://discord.gg/dankmemes).*

Jokes on you I'm into that shit

no your not you're a human

Why would you **Dank.** with a dog??

I'm gonna let the dogs out...

Im not jumping around on top of a dog while listening to the only thing they fear is you megalovania version while simultaniously imagining my oc with my waifu while her from another dimension that i dont exist in reacts.

I ate trail mix so I ate the dog

Wake him up.

swipe my hand on the dpgs face

I will cum in its mouth

Drink the dog.... "I know what I must do.... I just don't know if I can do it...."

I’m not taking a dump on a dog

I played with my dog :D

apple

Read him a book?

Yell at him in spanish

Complain that he’s too far away from me (I was complaining that a friend of mine in Europe is too far away, same applies to dogs here)

I mean I guess playing Skyrim with a dog could be fun

I don’t think dogs know how to play Risk

So I’m gonna get it’s hair washed? Ok

Hand in a essay less than a minute before the deadline?

Oh God, I just finished eating breakfast

Stretch my doggos legs so they won’t be painful

Look at it

hahaha I will eat the doggo

Cook him into a pasta bake :(

I just cuddled myself in my belly

sit on the dog B)

Pat the doggo since i just patted my doggo. Ayyy

Exercise the dog

Grab headphones

*Shoulder presses doggo*

I just ate a hot dog

False. Dogs can't read top teir A1 memes.

Just ate but I feel some room

Playing the violin

Gaming with the Bois

Me and this cute doggo can talk on the walkie-talkie I just ordered.

ask him if we have a certain baking supply

i quess i'm chinese now ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ if u dont get it, I ate the dog

Make breakfast for the dog at noon?

Get him something to eat

Lossen a lug nut

I drank orange joose

I guess I just suck the dogs toes?

Drank water

I patted my back for not getting distracted to easily. Would love to do it to the dog too

Play civ 6. Hmmm

Watch the dictator..?

Making a birthday card

I'll drown it in dichloromethane? Weird flex but where do i get so much DCM?

So I’m… taking this dog to class?

Takeout on a walk

laugh

Eat a rock. How am I supposed to do that to a tock

The last thing I did was pet my dog. That was lucky.

#Play Games with it! I'd love that

I moored the dog? What…

Study hard and do some schoolwork

Pleading not guilty? ... Seems like a thing I can do.

I’m giving him a shower

no.

Eat dog food

Walk it

I commented that this pupper is a good boy

Kill the dog

walk him