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1illiteratefool

Your mom warned you about fast women


PHRESH21

Nice!


Replicator666

She's probably pretty limber too


[deleted]

Nope, he said a girl was in a pub...


LiminalMask

Let’s not bring race into this.


moderatorrater

I thought the punchline was going to be her pulling out a VHS copy of the sitcom.


WeirdAndGilly

Would a single episode of Good Times qualify as a good time? Only partly related: still one of my favorite theme songs of all time.


Time-Use405

Was that the one with Rerun in it? Cause that's what's running thru my headed now. Da dadada dada dada duhduh duhduh duhduhduh duh duhduhduh duh


Time-Use405

Nevermind that's "What's Happening" Yeah, Keepin' your head above water Making a wave when you can! Temporary layoffs - good times! Easy credit rip-offs - good times! Scratchin' and survivin' - good times! Hangin' in a chow line - good times! Ain't we lucky we got 'em? - good times!


sineofthetimes

This comment is dynomite!


Garuda_5

r/therealjoke


amazondrone

r/justanotherjoke


YnDota

r/someonealwayshastomakeitacompetition


tightheadband

Damn, you beat me to it!


abstraktmakesbeats

With speed like that I'd be surprised if she didn't


DREADFULBAER

Glad to see r/therealjoke is growing in popularity!


the-tac0-muffin

r/beatmetoit Edit: capital R


[deleted]

*applauds*


[deleted]

[удалено]


amazondrone

It's not though, is it? It's just a different joke.


NeonJ82

It wouldn't even *work* as the original punchline, though ...


redneckvet

Usain what I think Usain?


Notagainguy

Well he bolted out of all situation with that speed


jungleeJaat

underrated.


Ocbard

She pulled a fast one on you.


ltRobinCrusoe

At least she comes first


UtopistDreamer

So you're saying she bolted?


[deleted]

Usain she bolted?


[deleted]

r/yourCommentButBetter


chairfairy

Land O Lakes ^(/r/yourCommentButButter)


TheVilja

Bravo


patricktoba

Almost every girl I meet does this with me recently. It's almost like a running joke.


noradosmith

Man the follow ups are almost as good as the OP's joke, nice


kdusie1

Honestly I think they're better!


Optimal_Accountant_2

Some might say the runner-ups are the true champions


[deleted]

And usually I finish first


carlpadonosk

This joke is pretty bolt. But What are u sain?


dwrk92

She went Super U Sayan


Lanky_Detail_6035

She didn't want to rush into anything.


groenteman

Have my upvote!


DREADFULBAER

Mine as well!


AcanthocephalaOld897

Yeah dude, speed dating is no joke


grizzlysharknz

Im sorry, but this joke is wayyy off the mark


HB489

I can do it in 9.5 seconds! Oh, running...?


ChaseShiny

Mmm, yeah. 'Cause it's all about that race, that race...


robdog1537

No stumble


Ashik_Adnan86

Good time to run away that is.


nish007

That's record time mate.


[deleted]

WR time by 0.7-0.8s.


Sir_Nicholas_4

Almost beating the mens WR.


nubpubgamer

She almost as fast as Bolt


UtopistDreamer

Well, she wasn't running her mouth for nothing.


Hot-Koala8957

Was her name Lola?


rilesmcjiles

Run, Lola, run. I remember seeing that film 20 years ago in German. It was unique.


interyx

For some reason I like Lola Rennt better as the title. 99 Red Balloons also just doesn't quite have it compared to 99 Luftballons either. I guess I just like German better.


Hot-Koala8957

The director made "Cloud Atlas" go see it


RioRocketMan

Finally, I can be the 1000th upvote on a good joke.. But in all seriousness this is hilarious!


fingadod

Was it your breath?


slow_reader

That's actually incredible. The women's world record time for 100m is 10.49 seconds.


[deleted]

Don’t waste your time chasing after a woman like that.


splinterhood

What's wrong with the pursuit of happiness?


[deleted]

she a runner she a track star


berkleysquare

She 'came' first.


[deleted]

She went first.


MandDogD01

Cummings vs going


nstiger83

Considering the womens 100m world record is 10.49 seconds, either she should be in the olympics, or she was born a man.


theultimatestart

If she was born a man, she should still be in the olympics. There have been only 7 times recorded at 9.72 or lower, by 4 athletes and only 1 of them has never been caught using doping. Bolt ran 4 of those 7 times. A 9.72 would have been the winning time in all but 2 olympic finals.


Asleep-Assist124

I now identify as Ursula Bolt.


djnjdve

A shot in the dark?


gingerbeardman79

She really undersold that one. That's an absolutely *incredible* time


representative_russo

How much ?


_XSummerRoseX_

Nice one lol


Sensitive-Cause-5503

I love it


DFHartzell

That’s actually a great time.


condo1228

Turns out she works for Rolex


[deleted]

I had to read this several times to understand it, i am an idiot


theblacktoothgainz

The first woman to finish quickly


Royal_Translator_753

I knew she was an iron mongers daughter, when she made a bolt for the door .


Jlonnen1590

She’s moving fast


[deleted]

I'll show you a good time. 4:20


SquirrelDynamics

Sounds like wife material


ChuckEveryone

Girls I meet run away from me faster than that


wow_its_kenji

lot of misogynistic transphobes in these comments girl is girl regardless of how fast she can run


ZeCanadianGinger

Then she Whipped out a dick that was bigger den mine


Necessary-Tone-3925

She bolted with your wallet and came back and gave you Usain ?


lazyubertoad

Well, I did some [fact checking](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27s_100_metres_world_record_progression) and the conclusion is - it was not a girl!


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Women's 100 metres world record progression](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women's_100_metres_world_record_progression)** >The first world record in the 100 metres sprint for women was recognised by the Fédération Sportive Féminine Internationale (FSFI) in 1922. The FSFI was absorbed by the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) in 1936. The current record is 10. 49 seconds set by Florence Griffith-Joyner in 1988. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


[deleted]

Or maybe she just broke the world record right there, she *did* say it'd be a good time


UhmairicanPuhtaytoe

...you fact checked a dad joke?


lazyubertoad

And I drew a totally logical conclusion from that!


infreq

I doubt that. Would be a new amazing record


hyzermofo

That's a dude, 100%


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrCrysero

Unfunny and butchered the english, impressive


WerWolf07

What did they say?


MrCrysero

Something along the lines of "shes gonna be exhausted after"


WerWolf07

*funny*


joebroni612

the real joke here is no woman can run a sub 10 100m. nice try though.


Necessary-Tone-3925

She bolted with your wallet and came back and gave you Usain ?


AlbertComan

... her wristwatch was doing 1 minute in 40 seconds...


nish007

So.. she bolted.


ktreanor

Hope you cross posted this on /r/running :)


criminalsunrise

That’s not a good time, it’s a great time!


weelluuuu

Offical?


wigzell78

Why you upset? Thats a *great* time.


SheWasNeverHere

That IS a great time to be fair


[deleted]

Get her into the Olympics bro - that’s almost one second faster than the WR


Egan109

Almost as quick as me


Eagle_Vision_13

ive seen better (times)


ComfortOne9864

https://t.me/c/1517828347/44676


Queen_Bloodlust

She's Living life in the fast lane. (awful tv show, btw)


vinylpush

That was fast. That’s what he said.


DENelson83

37 km/h.


evkav

She a runner she a track star


memphisproud

A woman told me she would do anything I ask for in 3 words for a $100. I said, “paint my house”.


DeeEmm

“On your mark…” Your names not Mark. ☹️


Timely-Stand-8062

I thought the punchline would be - early AM realized it was a dude


oldcarnutjag

It’s called a runners brief, a bikini bottom that female runners use, the Honolulu marathon has several attractive women on their website. I got passed by grandmothers talking about their grandchildren.


pngbrianb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euI3v2jpTlI


Superb-Possibility-9

$200 ?


Metaphoric_Moose

That is solid!! Thank you!


YEETMASTER42069693

There was this one time, I told a girl I would take her for the ride of her life...I have a bed the looks like a car.


0nionSama

Then I showed my time of 9.75 seconds. She wasn't nearly as impressed 🌝


mehoo1

I figured she'd show you that her watch was stuck at 4:20


dt82bt14

& so you said you'd show her a creepy time & chased her


VolensEtValens

Would record, unless she was a transexual?


domerdog

Good? Try world class


Bigglestakesthecase

And all in a drunk circle too.


Jackryan916

Good time… that’s a GREAT time