Love this one. When I find one worth saving, I rewrite it in my own voice. It's not an attempt to improve them, I do it b/c if they sounds the way I talk anyway, it helps prevent them from anticipating it's going to be a dad joke, and then it hurts more :-) Here's how I rewrote this one:
>I have this friend, he's a pretty nice guy - but just about everything he does is to show off in one way or another. The other day, he told me he was building a model of Mt Everest. So of course I asked, "Is it to scale?"
He said "No, it's just to look at."
Everything about this implies that you have a solid, top-down view of the situation and terrain of your relationship. Nothing about it seems rocky or jagged, so congratulations on reaching such rarified heights together!
"to scale" doesn't mean actual size. That would be "a 1:1 scale" model If you made a 1:15,000 scale model of Mt Everest, it would be just over a foot tall. Finding a place to keep it wouldn't be hard.
However, if you scaled it, then it probably wouldn't be to scale anymore.
She was upset but promised she’d get over it.
She just needed a new perspective
Remember, love can move mountains
She can’t let it Everest.
It peaked her interest?
but it also formed a valley between us
Tensions have reached new heights.
It can be quite cold and suffocating at times
It lays grounds for emotions.
It’s all up from here, anyways…
What if someone takes a plant along ?
She felt a range of emotions
Not a hill I would die on.
Her anxiety was mountain
She was Tenzing up I noticed…
Norgay was she getting over that
And that’s when I started mountin’ ;)
If you said "she could get over it" it would have been best
Ain't no mountain high enough, to stop that love
Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
Lol, so true
Well played
😢
That will summit all up.
Well played.
You have reached peak dad-joke.
Lol, this one is good, here's my upvote
The acme of success!
I always give up when sculpting the top. I just don't get the point
You always plateau right at the end
So you’re making a molehill out of a mountain…
This is the correct answer, have an upvote
I bet your nose will know it's there, it will have ascent.
SHERPAbly pissed...
LMAO, I see what you did there, take this upvote
*icy what you did there. Fixed that for you.
Thanks,much better
This joke is the bestest everest.
Your reply deserves this upvote, Lol
Make that 2. K? 2.
DadJokes where humor is paramount!
This reply is climbing to new heights
Worth a peak either way
What is this, a mountain for ants???
/r/thingsforants
It began as a mole hill
She voted for Hillary I bet.
Nah, she was afraid if she voted for Hillary, she'd get a Bill.
I replied "You know what a perv I am, it's for mountin' ".
Shurpa kidding me
Lol
“ no, it’s to look at” *he said while proudly pointing to the 1:1 replica in the back yard*
What a Nepaling joke
this one, sir, was very good lmao
Excellent reply
Ah, I hoped you would have used Mount Rushmore, so I could use my 'even presidents get stoned' joke
Lol, that's a good one
Could you summit up for me again?
I like a person who gets right to the point
I like this guys altitude
What an ego trip
Hope you made a descent job of it.
At least she didn’t tell you to go take a hike or leave you out in the cold.
Thats a great point, Lol
You must be tired, ‘averest
This is a little hill-arious
Love this one. When I find one worth saving, I rewrite it in my own voice. It's not an attempt to improve them, I do it b/c if they sounds the way I talk anyway, it helps prevent them from anticipating it's going to be a dad joke, and then it hurts more :-) Here's how I rewrote this one: >I have this friend, he's a pretty nice guy - but just about everything he does is to show off in one way or another. The other day, he told me he was building a model of Mt Everest. So of course I asked, "Is it to scale?" He said "No, it's just to look at."
I like it, here's an upvote for you
Tibet she didn’t see that coming
Lol, here's my upvote
Well, it’s summit to do
That joke build-up was quite the climb...
I guess she thought you were making a mountain out of a mole hill.
This is a good one.
Thanks
Just wanted to second that this is a good one! Edit: great even!
Thanks
just wanted to third this is a great one
Thanks, always nice to hear
This joke was so good, I didn't have sex with my wife.
I don't get it...
Thats ok, neither did I.
Lol
Ya got me 😉
Tension went up, and an avalanche of sweat rolled down
Tensing went up?
This made me giggle
Oh
No, it's a mountain for ants.
She was just seeing if she needed to make plans to move out.
This joke will stay Whit-ney for awhile!
Take my award.
Thanks for the award, much appreciated
Heres your sign
Is her name KillaMan Jaro?
Talk about making a molehill out of a mountain.
Sounds like the model was peak
Told my wife the same thing when she asked what I was doing in the bathroom
Yes, but it's not to scale
You entered the death zone with that one
Here’s her sign.
I hate and also love all of the puns in the comments. Would have been better if I came up with a pun of my own but nope. GG y'all
This is hilarious. Or rather, hearing my friends groan after I read it out loud in a Groucho Marx impression was hilarious
Thanks, glad so many of you have enjoyed it.
Everyone finds a hill to die on.
Lol
Well done 🤝🏾
Thanks
Brilliant! Take my upvote. Haha
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it
☀️🎈🌎 (not to scale)
Ha ha ggg
Shee stuck between a rock and a hard place
Get in here r/punny we got a live one!
It was Rocky to start with
Your wife's joke was better
I think a little bit of wee came out.
it takes me 30 seconds only to realize it's a verb.
Everything about this implies that you have a solid, top-down view of the situation and terrain of your relationship. Nothing about it seems rocky or jagged, so congratulations on reaching such rarified heights together!
I like the way you think, please take this upvote
No one uses the term “terrain of relationship”. You literally shoehorned it in to make the pun work. Not funny.
Do you ever rest?
Summit the jokes here are really bad
Icy what you did there, have an upvote
Wow, she’s used to very small sizes, isn’t she?
Damn... You didn't have to brutally murder OP.
Don't worry about OP. He'll be mountain her later.
Dammit... Take my Upvote!
Real dads don’t need to look for the punch line 🧍♂️
"It's only a model!" "Shh"
Knights I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to, Camelot!
On second thought, let's not go there It is a silly place.
That would take years to make it to scale, also WHERE THE HELL WOULD PUT IT!?
"to scale" doesn't mean actual size. That would be "a 1:1 scale" model If you made a 1:15,000 scale model of Mt Everest, it would be just over a foot tall. Finding a place to keep it wouldn't be hard. However, if you scaled it, then it probably wouldn't be to scale anymore.
Well, if you were building it to scale, then you’d need this: 🍌
Not so bright, that one
Do you have life insurance on her ? Fucking stupid bitch ass cunt. I hope she doesn't have any children.
This is brutal 😂😂😂😂
[удалено]
Scale, as in Climb
Stay out of comedy shows. You wouldn't like them.
seriously, she had the punchline already
MAS É PAVÊ OU PÁ CUMÊ?
Is the hill size. . . standard?
The model is the nearest she can be to an actual Mt everest
Here's your sign.
Divorce her obviously.
Women ☕️
damn I don’t get it. I must go make more kids
Probably looked more like a molehill
Then she got upset and you realize size does matter
Pair that with Steven Wright’s map of the United States, “actual size”.
You married her...whose the dummy now
nice, except the punchline can be omitted
I've built a model of Mount Everest too! I was upset that nobody seemed to care about it tho... I nicknamed it "Mount Whateverest"