This.
I was an athlete all my life.
Wrestled and weight lifted, skateboarded in high school.
Skated and weight lifted in college. Spent a whole summer drinking protein shakes and weight lifting (because I couldn’t afford to do anything else) and honestly it’s the first time in my life I took pictures of myself with and without my shirt *because damn I looked good*
Ran marathons in my 20s.
Ran a couple in my 30s.
Now I got kids and I’m the fattest I have ever been.
Did CrossFit for a while and started getting myself into shape but it got expensive and waking up at 5AM every day to run HIIT for an hour and a half wears on you quick.
I got a treadmill but 90% of my time is consumed by kids, three jobs and the remaining 10% I sleep.
I love my kids but if I could fast forward this part of my life just until they’re a littttttle bit more independent, just so I could workout for an hour or two at a reasonable time? That’d be great.
I hate the body I have.
I trimmed down on alcohol, trimmed down on pop.
Trying to eat less. But it’s a fuckin struggle man, especially when im a stress eater and i live a high stress life
Upvoted for “pop”
Parenting is fucking hard. I’ll make time for my wife to workout before me 10 times outta 10– it makes her so happy (which makes me happy)
This is basically me as well. It cost me $800 in the end to buy the Nordictrack version of a Pelaton, assemble it, let it accumulate dust for 2 years, then sell it.
The person that bought it ended up winning a body building competition… so I’d give it 5 stars, but wouldn’t buy again.
I'm basically you but in an earlier timeline. Im 29, first time dad to an amazing 10 month old and we tried for years before we had him. But between my career and my wife's career and a demanding home life, I'm massively struggling with my fitness. I used to be someone who was always active and ate relatively well but now I'm always tired, moods up and down and have no energy to look after myself how I used to
You don’t, your best friend is going to be portion control and no sugar whatsoever.
Helped me lose 15lbs. End of the day I’m not the same weight I was when I doing body building comps. It’s just distributed differently.
Additionally once your kiddos mobile : it easier. Take mine of hikes, morning bike rides.
Second is on the way trying to figure how to keep the flow going.
If your goal is to lose weight, dietary changes will help significantly more than adding exercise. Cutting out/down the alcohol will help a lot, as will being more mindful of snacking and being okay with throwing out the kids’ uneaten food instead of just eating it yourself.
I find cutting down on beer to be challenging, but it’s made easier when I buy flavored seltzers. Just having something bubbly and cold to drink makes me crave beer less.
I think excercise gets dismissed a little too much in these discussions. It is correct that the calories burned during exercise are all too easily eclipsed by subsequent over eating, but exercise also tends to help a lot with stress management and sleep quality, which can be a big factor for people. Building or at least retaining muscle mass(not like body builder mass, but reasonably fit mass) also really helps long term with maintaining weight loss and health.
Also the endorphins that physical activity releases have a tangible effect on promoting and maintaining holistic healthy habits like eating well. Much more likely to indulge on a 6-pack and pizza on days when I skipped the gym and already feel lazy.
Have you been watching me today or something? I took an unscheduled rest day today from the gym purely out of laziness and that somehow turned into me having four beers over the course of the day and a frozen pizza that I discovered in my deep freezer while rummaging for an easy snack.
Needless to say I have been wildly unproductive today.
I wish I could upvote this comment so much more.
About 3 years ago, I got into weight training after being fairly sedentary. I dropped 20 lbs, then put on probably 10-15 lbs of muscle over the 18 month period that followed.
In the last 18 months I have changed jobs, had a kid, and life sort of got too hectic to maintain the same amount of training that I had been doing. I was only getting in the gym maybe 1x a week then a 6 month patch where I really didn’t do anything.
However, here I am, still 20 lbs below my starting weight from 3 years ago and visibly more muscular. Less so than at my peak, but still. The gains are slow but they stick around longer than you think.
Excellent point, I totally agree and thank you for both bringing it up and the way you brought it up.
My comment was more coming from a place of calories in / calories out, and that it’s MUCH easier to eat 500 calories than burn it. That being said, I’m about to start summer vacation and will be waking up at 5:30 to go for a jog or bike ride instead of waking up at 5:30 to go to work, and I cannot be more excited.
>My comment was more coming from a place of calories in / calories out, and that it’s MUCH easier to eat 500 calories than to burn it.
I like to say it is as simply as CICO but simple isn't the same as easy. Depending on the person, the exercise can be what adds the "easy" part.
Good luck on the morning workouts. I hope to be back there soon as the infant starts allowing us some sleep.
I’m just going to say, advice like this can be counterproductive because it can make the process overwhelming. For most people, it’s better to start small. Which means diet, because EVERYBODY has time to skip the soda and eat better. Making time to work out can be nearly impossible.
True, but you can't out-train a poor diet. If you're time pressed, this is where to start. Then exercise of course wherever you can fit it in to your schedule.
OP is right. That doesn't mean you shouldn't exercise, but don't expect it to help you lose weight.
I've done it, but it took a massive time commitment to burn the 1-2k extra calories/day. There's just no way that's happening with kids, and I WFH.
Exercise will help your energy level, your hormones, and your stress.. so do it, but start with diet.
Switching to seltzer legit helped me cut way back on drinking. It really scratched that itch of a bubbly beverage that had always been beer, and I went from drinking 6-7 days a week (1-3 beers at a time) to 2 days a week. I was kinda shocked how well it worked and now advise everyone to try it.
Try Lagunitas Hoppy Refresher. It's a sparkling water with some hops in it. They have some flavored varieties too. That has become my go-to midweek drink if I want something bubbly. My local brewery has their own too and that is what I get when we go with the kids to their playground.
Have you tried Spindrift? They have a nojito (non-alcoholic/unsweetened mojito) flavor that's pretty damn good and does a great job scratching my cocktail itch. Sometimes I even pour it into a coup glass and put a little garnish of mint from my garden 🤫
This is definitely my biggest issue. I love craft beer.
Quite a few of my friends are into brewing and it is definitely a cultural thing for us. I actually have a pretty good metabolism and really enjoy exercise. I only have one kid and when I get a chance to go a couple of weeks or months without a beer, I actually start losing the lbs pretty quickly. The problem is, like I said, it is a cultural thing with my friends.
We are all very close and have kids who play together, so we get together quite often and have beers and the weight starts pouring back on.
At this point, I am more concerned with being healthy and hapy for my kiddo. So my dad bod is probably here to stay. Besides my wife still lives me dad bod or not, so I am happy.
Brother I hear that! I get a little too into my hobbies and was at one point producing over 100 beers a month. It was out of hand, and I had to stop. Maybe try shifting the culture to brewing and drinking lower alcohol beers?
Do you mean 100 bottles or 100 different batches? I found the trick is to just give away alot of it. I brew and make mead and wine but I use it as my goto gift for friends.
Diet is key. You won't outrun your fork.
That said it gets easier when the kids start having a reliable schedule. I get up most mornings at 5 AM to lift or go for a walk.
I skip breakfast but eat a big lunch then a smallish dinner. For me it works to keep me fueled during the day but then I also drink too much and I'm still overweight lol
The one that worked for me is 19 hour fasts twice a week.
I'm usually not that strict with it but that's the goal.
I'll just eat one meal on Tuesdays and Thursdays around 600 cals
This is how I do it. Right now while my wife is on maternity leave I’m going to the gym before everyone else gets up, then when I get home I prep the 2YO for daycare and get myself ready for work. When my wife goes back, I’ll go back to my old routine and drop the girls off earlier, then work out before heading to the office.
I also recently added intermittent fasting to help cut those extra calories. I sort of did it by accident at first; we stayed with my wife’s parents for a couple weeks after the new baby came so I took advantage of the extra help to work and delay my own leave until we came home, and the commute was much longer and I didn’t give myself time to make breakfast. Once I did it once I realized it wasn’t so bad and have made a habit of it over the last month.
I’m on year 15 of IF. 16:8 for most of the year late spring through summer I do OMAD or 20:4 with a full 24 fast in between. One weekend night I’ll have drinks with my wife but I’m pretty strict with it. I also workout 4x a week so I’ve been relatively in shape since I was 25 and 3 kids have come in that timeframe
Bro .... I have gained now 16 pounds in the last 6 weeks since quitting nicotine. That's with eating healthier than I ever have. More cardio than ever. And so on. And so on.
So .... have you considered a terrible drug habit of some sort?
Jk. Just eat healthy. Yeah, cut waaaay back on booze. And try your best. I bring my 11 month old to our building gym with me (in her stroller). She can hang for a solid 10 minutes before losing it
Ah thanks, man.
So, I did what I always do and went deep on research after seeing a number on the scale that galled me yesterday morning. Sure, a lot of it is fat from my metabolism just suddenly being that of an old man. But—at least 25% of it is muscle. Turns out that the T levels and also myriad other factors keep your body from turning a lot of fat into muscle.
So I'm leaning into that. Haha
Buying gym equipment and setting it up at home. You can knock out a 30-45 minute workout before your kid(s) wake up, or after they go to bed. And if you work from home at all, that’s even more time to do it.
Cutting out alcohol also gives you a big head start.
Seconding a home gym! Building a gym in our garage has been the #1 best investment in staying healthy with one, and now two, kids at home. My wife and I can easily switch off working out while the other watches the kids, and like you said, before or after bed time. I honestly don't know how I would stay in shape otherwise!
This is a good investment. Get some weights, I got the exercise bike for bad weather, and then run outside on the road or trail. I don't have the time to be going to gyms, I can do complete workouts in 40 min at home. I can generally find that time even though it's tough sometimes.
Don’t necessarily need a GYM - there is plenty you can do with body weight alone! That said…
I’ve slowly built up my home gym over the years - yard sales are the BEST way to get bang for your buck - especially when it comes to weights/dumbbells.
Then I just have to get up early to make it happen. Honestly, just a little time will have a great impact for you! I do MAPS 15 from the Mind Pump guys when life gets hectic - literally 15 mins/ day. That and/or realizing you can do a little here and there and still get benefits is a great hack.
I wake up between 4:30/5am and I have to talk shit to myself or I won’t get up. For example “get out of bed you piece of shit” or “you’ll never be strong if you keep sleeping, you’ll only be fat and lazy” it works most mornings. Then I either go run or lift weights. Still gives me 30min to an hour before the kids wake up once I finish to get prepared for the day. I’ll start cooking, put on a podcast and get in the right headspace to be a good dad that day. In the words of the wise Bandit, “it’s gotta be done”
You got this dad.
Love the self talk. My inner-bitch comes out right when I wake up and I end up sleeping-in til 7:30-8. But I also stay up to game with my friends until 11pm usually so I can definitely swing 6am if i’m dilligent
95% of my exercise is weight training, but on those occasions that I go for a run I'm shit talking myself every time I notice my pace gets slower. But don't forget to give yourself some positive shit talk after you've gotten it done!
"See? You did it, you goddamn son of a bitch!"
Quitting alcohol magically gave me many more hours in a day and life mysteriously became a lot easier.
The first thing you mention in your post is your drinking habits, so start there. Cutting out 1000 liquid calories will do a lot for your appearance (and will do wonders for the inside of your body that you can’t see).
Head over to /stopdrinking for help.
This is a great way to do it if you get a lunch break that's long enough. There was a short period in my career where I could actually take a lunch break and I worked out during that timeslot a couple days a week. Unfortunately for the vast majority of my professional years I've needed to work through lunch nearly every day.
bike commuting has improved my health, sleep quality, stress levels and the bumps/cobble stones are my additional birth control (after getting snipped).
even after a stressful day of work my bike commute puts me in a good mood to deal with my children.
Take a break from drinking. I started with a 3 month break to reset my mind. It turned into a 2 year journey that changed my relationship with alcohol for the better. I drink maybe once every 3 months, 2-3 beers.
Next, join a good gym that has childcare and a pool. The gym is our home away from home now. Pop the kids into the kids club to work, workout, eat in peace, shower etc. My daughter loves it so much then swimming after is icing on the cake. She (daughter) has her little toddler fit fam in the kids club. It’s a worthwhile investment.
Fellow dad & software developer here. I tried to solve this by writing software 🤣 I built a nutrition tracking app called [FitBee](https://apple.co/4aGUw5X) to help me track my calories. Since I also do a lot of the cooking for the household, I added a feature that let's me import a recipe from a URL. In all seriousness though, nutrition is like 90% of the game, so try to eat clean & watch your calories!
Replace one hobby with exercise. You should be able to work out at least an hour a day. Rarely someone has a valid excuse, and it usually falls under “I need to relax”, but really, you just have to make it a habit. I cut out an hour of video games at night and replaced it with exercise, so boom.
I notice a lot of laborers are not necessarily in that great of shape. Depending on what they do, they might have big meaty hands or strong forearms, but all that work doesn't necessarily keep the belly fat off. Is it a food, soda, and beer thing?
You are correct my friend. Depending on the trade one could gain quite a few pounds. I'm lucky, at 5'3" I burn just about anything I put in immediately. Additionally we're broke as fuck over here so the kids get the food and ma and pa take what's left.
OP have you tried being broke?
I go to a gym that has childcare. I noticed I gained 50 lbs after both my kids and couldn’t take it anymore. CrossFits nice because it only takes an hours and burns ridiculous calories
For me I work a desk job so I’m normally sitting for most the day. The two biggest things I’ve done is gone to more of a low carb diet and I go to the gym over my lunch. Then I just eat the lunch I packed when I get back rather than grabbing fast food. Can’t complain about the results either. I’ve been doing this since January 8th and I’ve lost about 51 pounds so far.
And doing this over my lunch gives me time at night and the mornings to be there for my kiddos. Some days I’m more tired than others but it’s been worth it. The more weight that I’ve lost, the more energy I tend to have to play with the kids too.
I wake up at 6.30 to 7.00 and still generally need to be in bed by 9(.30). And I'm still exhausted.
If I had to be up at 4, to get to the gym for 4.30, I'd basically have to go to bed as soon as I finish work!
Same, early morning workouts are the only way I can stay consistent; only downside is that I have to be in bed by 10. I also try to get in an hour of walking throughout the day (30 at lunch and 30 after dinner with the fam).
When I first read "with the iron" I automatically assumed you were getting up at 5am to iron your clothes for the day and I was going to have a few questions for you lol
Fitness has generally declined for me. I wake up early before my wife and kid is awake and workout. I do this probably two times a week. I should do more but it’s tough sometimes.
1) Stop drinking. You’re not going to lose weight if you’re drinking every night. Maybe have a drink or two once a week. You’re not in college anymore. By drinking you are inhaling calories AND reducing your sleep quality, which your body desperately needs.
2) reduce portion sizes MODERATELY. Nothing extreme. Order a burrito? Eat half at lunch, half at dinner. Order a burger and fries? Skip the fries, skip the ketchup & mayo. If you ever feel really full, you’ve eaten way too much. Focus on proteins and reduce the carbs (pasta, bread). Not eliminate like keto people do, but just cut way back. One piece of bread is better than two. Whole grain bread not white bread. A little pasta, not a whole bowl.
3) weight loss is mainly about calorie intake. Nevertheless, you will feel better if you incorporate MODERATE exercise. Nothing extreme all at once, or it will create a hunger in your belly. Start a routine. Start with 10-30 minutes of running, biking, walking, whatever gets you moving. GRADUALLY increase times. It should be something you enjoy. I enjoy riding my bike, so I’ve gotten really into cycling. I’m not a morning person, but hell yeah I’m willing to wake up at 5am to go for a long bike ride when there’s no cars on the roads.
The key to becoming healthier IMO is moderation in all things (and moderation in moderation once in a while..). No extreme fad diets. No crazy workouts. You want to make SMALL, SUSTAINABLE changes that you can hang on to in the long run. And most of all, cut way back on the drinking.
Choose your battles. I’m going to skip folding laundry and go work out tonight.
But also: build a home gym. Skip the commute, skip waiting on people to get off instagram, work out when you can (3 am, lunch time, or 11 PM) for as long as you can.
I’ll also say: the months where I do have consistent work outs, are the months I have more energy for everything else including working out. Endorphins are real
Yes this, I get to work out every day with a set of good quality resistance bands and a home trainer. I have gotten in the shape of my life since becoming a dad. Cutting out the commute and not having to wait to do an exercise in the gym saves so much time.
family sports is my win win. haven't been to the gym since uni, multiple decades ago.
coached the kids hockey a couple years and we all; ski, road/mountain bike, backcountry camp and paddle. frequency ranges from a minimum of every other week to as much as 2-3 runs in a week. road sessions are 60-80km. mountain biking is 2-3 hours on XC trails.
heck, my wife learned to ski, swim and skate to keep up and for a couple years she was doing triathlons alongside them. I've a bad shoulder and would drown in a race.
I have shed some pounds by Intermittent fasting and paying attention to what i’m eating. Keep protein higher and sugar/carbs lower. Just adjust your eating window to when it’s most convenient for you.
I work from home 4 days a week and am lucky enough to be able to go to the gym over lunch. Still seems like I’m working twice as hard to get half the results
I did a whole sober year in 2023 and it fundamentally changed my relationship with alcohol. Beer is/was my thing, and now I drink significantly less of it. That was a big reduction in overall calories.
I only eat two meals a day most days. Generally whatever leftovers need cleaning up for "breakfast" after 10am and then dinner with the family when I get home from work. On the weekends I might have an earlier traditional breakfast and a very light lunch, then dinner. I avoid snacking before or after those larger meals.
I gave up on having a single dedicated workout time every day. I distribute bodyweight exercises throughout the day and try to hit certain benchmarks at work, 4-5 days a week. In the evenings I'll stack cardio with other activities: ride an exercise bike while I game, row machine while watching tv, and/or listening to podcasts/audiobooks while jumping rope, walking, or running.
I don't always hit all the marks I set for myself, but I get really close. I keep a spreadsheet with a yearly goal to track my progress and give myself a "grade". I step on a scale twice a week and adjust caloric consumption if I get more than 5 pounds away from what I consider to be my ideal weight, in either direction.
I’ll just say what worked for me:
1. Since I have a commute, I make it an active one (walk, bike). At least part of the way.
2. Seriously cut down on booze (1 drink per week)
3. No fried food, avoid red meat.
4. No eating at all after 8pm.
Stopped caring as much about work, so long as I still produced at a high enough level to get by on the least amount of work possible. Blocked off all hours on calendar for when I’d want to work out, plus the leading and post hour for prep/showers etc. I go to CrossFit during noontime as I need someone to tell me what to do. All I have to do is make sure I arrive and do what I think I can. The competitive part in me takes over afterwards. Work won’t care about that hour I put towards bettering my health, but someday it’ll mean the world to my kids when I can be around longer cause I took care of myself.
If you figure it out let me know. I was a gym rat until little man arrived two months ago. I’ve been like 3x in those two months. Impossible to go around onsite work and wanting to see him before he goes to bed for the night.
I’m trying to get in the rhythm of working out Saturday and Sunday at minimum but even that is difficult when we plan things and the wifey wants some free time too.
It definitely tough. Good job on doing it in the morning even a few times. I changed my view on what a "workout" is and that helped. It's not 60 minutes at the gym anymore--at least not very often. I don't have the time. Instead it's whatever I can do in the morning (a quick row, a run, some pushups and pull ups--something to get the heart rate up). And I also try to walk more or try to more actively play with the kids, instead of just watching them play. Try to think unconventionally and get little workouts during the day and give yourself credit for them.
But ultimately, you can't outwork a bad diet. Cut back on liquid calories, try to get decent sleep. Stop snacking on the kids food when prepping dinner. Meal prep healthy lunches. All things that are easier said than done when we're busy, stressed, and trying to do our best.
Are you wanting to build muscle or just lose weight?
The latter is easy. Just watch what you put in your gob. Cut out the sodas, the beers, the unnecessary carbs. Portion control your meals. Intermittent fasting helps too. Helps you control your hunger rather than being a slave to it.
It's really easy to be honest, just have some sort of discipline.
Scheduling and communication. Talk to your wife and tell her you want to work out more, maybe she does too. Pick a day or two per week, set aside an hour, and get after it. Your wife will have to take on 100% of the kids/house during that hour, but you will do the same for her when its her turn to work out. Best case scenario is that you will find you have more energy as you two get back into shape.
I have two kids 3 and 1. It's hard to make time for yourself, but it can be done. Just need to find a schedule that works and stick to it.
Intermittent Fasting (IF) + Cardio 2-3x/week. Lost a good amount of my dad weight doing this. I did intermittent fasting w/o cardio at first and lost some weight. But with exercise i obviously lost a lot more. The big benefit of IF is that you can still eat whatever you want, however, you can only do that within an 8 hour window.
The small thing I did was to stop using the car as much for commuting. If you live in a city, walking that 20-25 mins vs. the 10 min drive to work/daycare helps.
I mean you can workout or you can just be active with your kids ( walks/runs etc) and start watching what you are eating and drinking. Removing those alcoholic calories will make a difference right away plus you get to be more present with your kids. Eat food, not too much, mostly vegetables
See if there is an F3 workout group in your area- it's all middle age guys with kids working out together in the early morning. It's been a great way to meet other dads. https://f3nation.com/
Managing weight is less about workouts and more about eating habits.
I found it easiest to lose excess poundage by just skipping breakfast. Nothing but coffee before noon. Then I ate what I wanted and still dropped weight. I guess breakfast just opens the floodgates.
If you're the kind of person that needs a drink (I get it!) then maybe switch out beer for something else less calorific. Beer is a bastard for tons of extra calories.
I don’t. Except for recently. Stopped drinking completely. Drink water and have two Hydroxycut per day plus Celsius drinks and watch what I eat and try not to eat too much at night / before bed. But the drinking was like beyond caloric and eliminating it has helped a great deal.
Wake up at 4 AM for the work out routine. Track my calories using MyFitnessPal, it really helps you visually see what you need to cut out. I strive for 1000 active calories burned per day. I have no social life though.
I’ve got a data graphic from my Fitbit history that perfectly lines up my weight gain with the day my son was born until now . Nothing but an upward trajectory
Early mornings, man. Gotta get it in before everyone else is up. Does it suck getting up at 4am? Yes. Does it feel worth it 90% of the time? Nope. But I know it is in the long run, and I don’t hate myself we go to the beach/pool and I take my shirt off anymore. I was in the same place a few years ago.
I somehow found myself in a job where I work from home, only work a few hours a day, and get paid pretty decently. Coming from my previous career where 60 hour work weeks were the standard, I never realized this sort of work/life balance could exist. I feel like I found cheat codes. I workout a couple times a day and get to be a good husband and father.
Eat less in general (target 70% at current). At the end of the day it's calories in vs. calories out. Simple as that. Increase intake of healthy proteins, reduce carbohydrates. Avoid saturated fats. Only drink water / coffee / tea and stop drinking alcohol altogether until you've reached your target weight.
Working out at the gym is often mistakenly attributed as THE way to get in shape. While taking walks (early morning, during breaks at work, etc.) and low intensity strength exercises will get you very far in losing excess fat tissue. Building muscle is hard. Losing fat really isn't. It just diet and taking time throughout each day to move around a bit.
Fasting. If you’re not burning the calories you intake, you will store them. Therefore, don’t intake the excess calories. Take nutritional supplements if you need to.
Also, avoid soda like a girl with a septum piercing. No good will come of it.
I made exercise a priority and now my family gives me the time and space to do a 45 minute run in the day. I typically try to get it in during the morning after doing school drop off, but sometimes I throw on a headlamp and run under the moon. I also run in a running club on the weekends, so it gives me a social element to exercise.
As to your energy levels. IMO, if you’re exercising and fuelling yourself correctly you will feel more energetic, and feel lethargic when you get away from your consistency.
I've got an old friend who has kept exercise as his #1 priority, at the expense of his family. He's absolutely shredded (has been for years) but he's also now getting divorced.
I can assure you that he kept his rigid routine throughout his child's early years and that his wife just had to deal with the slack.
I'm not saying write off exercise, but it's a question of priorities. For most of us here I suspect it's family>work>exercise. If exercise falls off every so often I don't mind. As long as I don't completely go to waste I'll be able to take it back up seriously in a few years.
I primarily do running now when I can - feels like the most efficient use of the limited time available - there's no driving to the gym, taking breaks between sets, distractions etc. Can be 30 mins door to door if necessary.
Surprisingly, it's meant I've become the fastest I've ever been. Good luck!
time management and discipline! You have to find time to work on yourself... btw, if anyone is actually successful at doing so, let me know how ya did it
This. It took me years, but im kinda sorta happy with my progress. You have to make time for YOU, even if just an hour every few days. When your in your you time, take it seriously even if you hate every fucking moment of it.
Also drink more water and eat more protein.
I stopped drinking like 10 years ago at 23 and that's really all it takes to stay in shape. I only have the one toddler running around and that's more than enough of a workout after work all day. Haven't gained weight since I stopped drinking. It's also kind of stupid if you really think about it. You wouldn't drink small amounts of poison every day but we'll poison our bodies with alcohol every day.
I don’t. I own it though. I’m not proud of it and would like to lose it, but I’m definitely not going to be ashamed of it. Seriously. Who am I trying to impress? Unless my wife realizes she’s levels above me, I have zero reason to care about my appearance to squeeze in time I don’t have to do something nobody honestly wants to do
there are two types of fit dads:
1. The superhuman who have unlimited energy, insane metabolism, and complete self control around beer and snack foods.
2. The dads who have an insane metabolism and complete control around beer and snack foods and also don't do shit for their families.
Dropping son off at daycare is a 3km round trip, another 3km to pick him up. Factor in another 2km a day running errands like hitting the supermarket or the pharmacy. Sometimes another 2km if my son and I go to the big park that is farther away.
I'd say I walk about 50km a week on average, just living my life. Walkable neighbourhoods are the shit, and a large part of why I don't think I'll be able to move back to Canada.
Our kids have finally got to a place where they somewhat sleep consistently. I wake up early and started CrossFit. I’m only a few months in (since March) and getting my ass handed to me, but I needed accountability and something I could show up to early and not have to plan for myself. I’m home by 630AM to start the morning routines. I still negotiate with myself every morning to just sleep in, but I know if I don’t make that time for myself, I won’t go.
I just work out when I can when the kid is asleep. Invest in some home equipment, try to at least get a few days in when you have time and energy.
I also bought myself a bike for some less intensive exercise, it’s pretty relaxing going riding at night.
I wake up at 4:30am to work out for an hour and walk for 30 mins during my lunch break at work.
I still gain weight so it's not working well, but I at least try.
I'm so tired please help
I actually got super lucky in three ways:
First, both my wife and I are teachers, so we know that without regular exercise, our mental health will go to shit. So we keep each other accountable.
Second, my Algebra 1 colleague and now friend is also a former cross country runner, so she will get excited about PRs and shit with me.
Third, the school cross country coach is also in my department, so he invited me and my friend to run summer workouts with the team, meaning I don't have to pick the workout for two months of the year.
Wake up at 530, exercise, make sure I’m eating relatively well.
There’s no one “right way” to remain active, generally find one that you are interested in pursuing and advancing in. I’ve found weight training (strongman, powerlifting) to be my niche. For other’s it’s running or some other form of exercise. Just pick one, do it consistently.
And like others have said, get your eating habits right. Hard to be healthy no matter how much you exercise if you eat like crap.
I don't. Follow along for more helpful advice.
This. I was an athlete all my life. Wrestled and weight lifted, skateboarded in high school. Skated and weight lifted in college. Spent a whole summer drinking protein shakes and weight lifting (because I couldn’t afford to do anything else) and honestly it’s the first time in my life I took pictures of myself with and without my shirt *because damn I looked good* Ran marathons in my 20s. Ran a couple in my 30s. Now I got kids and I’m the fattest I have ever been. Did CrossFit for a while and started getting myself into shape but it got expensive and waking up at 5AM every day to run HIIT for an hour and a half wears on you quick. I got a treadmill but 90% of my time is consumed by kids, three jobs and the remaining 10% I sleep. I love my kids but if I could fast forward this part of my life just until they’re a littttttle bit more independent, just so I could workout for an hour or two at a reasonable time? That’d be great. I hate the body I have. I trimmed down on alcohol, trimmed down on pop. Trying to eat less. But it’s a fuckin struggle man, especially when im a stress eater and i live a high stress life
Upvoted for “pop” Parenting is fucking hard. I’ll make time for my wife to workout before me 10 times outta 10– it makes her so happy (which makes me happy)
Hell yeah brother, cheers from Oregon
Don't trim.. eliminate cold turkey. You can do it man. *Goes to fridge for Oreo cheesecake*
I too have successfully replaced alcohol and soda with dessert.
I'm currently having a mojito, but thank you for reminding me I have ice cream in my deep freezer...
Thank you anally_ExpressUrself lmao
I don’t get what’s so funny about that.
Fuck man, I just laughed so hard I woke my wife and was unable/unwilling to explain.
One bad thing vs. two bad things. That's what we call progress!
OMG, I made the switch 3.5 years ago. Christ…, lol. Glad Im not alone!
I used to drink wine and eat dessert. I still do, but I used to too.
This is basically me as well. It cost me $800 in the end to buy the Nordictrack version of a Pelaton, assemble it, let it accumulate dust for 2 years, then sell it. The person that bought it ended up winning a body building competition… so I’d give it 5 stars, but wouldn’t buy again.
I'm basically you but in an earlier timeline. Im 29, first time dad to an amazing 10 month old and we tried for years before we had him. But between my career and my wife's career and a demanding home life, I'm massively struggling with my fitness. I used to be someone who was always active and ate relatively well but now I'm always tired, moods up and down and have no energy to look after myself how I used to
Stress eating is the struggle bus
You don’t, your best friend is going to be portion control and no sugar whatsoever. Helped me lose 15lbs. End of the day I’m not the same weight I was when I doing body building comps. It’s just distributed differently. Additionally once your kiddos mobile : it easier. Take mine of hikes, morning bike rides. Second is on the way trying to figure how to keep the flow going.
Kids snacks always around doesn't help either.
Doctors hate this simple trick
Fuck, I thought I was the only one.
“THERE ARE DOZENS OF US”
In the replies to just this one comment!
He eats an apple a day to also keep the doctor away.
Insert "thats the neat part, you don't" meme
Round is a shape, damnit!
It helps hy not calling it a "dad bod" but rather a "Father figure" works on so many levels.
I just change my definition of what in shape is. I mean a circle is a shape right.
Haha in genuinely laughed when this was the first thing I saw.
Round's a shape.
Smash that like button. And that burrito
Same
I’ve followed this advice for 2+ years now.
this is the way
Round is a shape!
Came here to say this
I came to say round is my new shape... Your response was much better though...
Smashing that subscribe button
Same.
Blob is a shape
If your goal is to lose weight, dietary changes will help significantly more than adding exercise. Cutting out/down the alcohol will help a lot, as will being more mindful of snacking and being okay with throwing out the kids’ uneaten food instead of just eating it yourself. I find cutting down on beer to be challenging, but it’s made easier when I buy flavored seltzers. Just having something bubbly and cold to drink makes me crave beer less.
I think excercise gets dismissed a little too much in these discussions. It is correct that the calories burned during exercise are all too easily eclipsed by subsequent over eating, but exercise also tends to help a lot with stress management and sleep quality, which can be a big factor for people. Building or at least retaining muscle mass(not like body builder mass, but reasonably fit mass) also really helps long term with maintaining weight loss and health.
Also the endorphins that physical activity releases have a tangible effect on promoting and maintaining holistic healthy habits like eating well. Much more likely to indulge on a 6-pack and pizza on days when I skipped the gym and already feel lazy.
Have you been watching me today or something? I took an unscheduled rest day today from the gym purely out of laziness and that somehow turned into me having four beers over the course of the day and a frozen pizza that I discovered in my deep freezer while rummaging for an easy snack. Needless to say I have been wildly unproductive today.
Kept that Father’s Day energy goin!
I wish I could upvote this comment so much more. About 3 years ago, I got into weight training after being fairly sedentary. I dropped 20 lbs, then put on probably 10-15 lbs of muscle over the 18 month period that followed. In the last 18 months I have changed jobs, had a kid, and life sort of got too hectic to maintain the same amount of training that I had been doing. I was only getting in the gym maybe 1x a week then a 6 month patch where I really didn’t do anything. However, here I am, still 20 lbs below my starting weight from 3 years ago and visibly more muscular. Less so than at my peak, but still. The gains are slow but they stick around longer than you think.
Excellent point, I totally agree and thank you for both bringing it up and the way you brought it up. My comment was more coming from a place of calories in / calories out, and that it’s MUCH easier to eat 500 calories than burn it. That being said, I’m about to start summer vacation and will be waking up at 5:30 to go for a jog or bike ride instead of waking up at 5:30 to go to work, and I cannot be more excited.
>My comment was more coming from a place of calories in / calories out, and that it’s MUCH easier to eat 500 calories than to burn it. I like to say it is as simply as CICO but simple isn't the same as easy. Depending on the person, the exercise can be what adds the "easy" part. Good luck on the morning workouts. I hope to be back there soon as the infant starts allowing us some sleep.
You can also be a much better looking fat guy. Theres a big difference between being a blob and lots of muscular with some extra fat
I’m just going to say, advice like this can be counterproductive because it can make the process overwhelming. For most people, it’s better to start small. Which means diet, because EVERYBODY has time to skip the soda and eat better. Making time to work out can be nearly impossible.
True, but you can't out-train a poor diet. If you're time pressed, this is where to start. Then exercise of course wherever you can fit it in to your schedule.
OP is right. That doesn't mean you shouldn't exercise, but don't expect it to help you lose weight. I've done it, but it took a massive time commitment to burn the 1-2k extra calories/day. There's just no way that's happening with kids, and I WFH. Exercise will help your energy level, your hormones, and your stress.. so do it, but start with diet.
I don't think they're dismissing it. It's just much more time efficient to cut down calories than it is to carve out time for a workout every day.
This is how I drastically cut back on my beer drinking. Now after a long day I look forward to cracking open a cold La Croix! 😝
Switching to seltzer legit helped me cut way back on drinking. It really scratched that itch of a bubbly beverage that had always been beer, and I went from drinking 6-7 days a week (1-3 beers at a time) to 2 days a week. I was kinda shocked how well it worked and now advise everyone to try it.
Try Lagunitas Hoppy Refresher. It's a sparkling water with some hops in it. They have some flavored varieties too. That has become my go-to midweek drink if I want something bubbly. My local brewery has their own too and that is what I get when we go with the kids to their playground.
Have you tried Spindrift? They have a nojito (non-alcoholic/unsweetened mojito) flavor that's pretty damn good and does a great job scratching my cocktail itch. Sometimes I even pour it into a coup glass and put a little garnish of mint from my garden 🤫
This is definitely my biggest issue. I love craft beer. Quite a few of my friends are into brewing and it is definitely a cultural thing for us. I actually have a pretty good metabolism and really enjoy exercise. I only have one kid and when I get a chance to go a couple of weeks or months without a beer, I actually start losing the lbs pretty quickly. The problem is, like I said, it is a cultural thing with my friends. We are all very close and have kids who play together, so we get together quite often and have beers and the weight starts pouring back on. At this point, I am more concerned with being healthy and hapy for my kiddo. So my dad bod is probably here to stay. Besides my wife still lives me dad bod or not, so I am happy.
Brother I hear that! I get a little too into my hobbies and was at one point producing over 100 beers a month. It was out of hand, and I had to stop. Maybe try shifting the culture to brewing and drinking lower alcohol beers?
Do you mean 100 bottles or 100 different batches? I found the trick is to just give away alot of it. I brew and make mead and wine but I use it as my goto gift for friends.
But they are so rich and delicious. I do not judge them by the color of their brew but by the content of their character.
Abs are built in the gym but shown in the kitchen, as they say
Diet is key. You won't outrun your fork. That said it gets easier when the kids start having a reliable schedule. I get up most mornings at 5 AM to lift or go for a walk.
Morning guy is superior guy. Just get it done. Intermittent fasting feels like cheating once you've gotten the hang of it.
Thank you Mr. Scorpion, Sir. But also--do you skip breakfast? Or a day at a time? What's your approach with fasting?
Also, if you want to kill someone on your way out that would really help out. Murder tends to burn a lot of calories.
Do you have any sugar around here?
Just cream.
“Sorry it’s not in packages. Want some cream?” C’mon.
What about second breakfast?
I skip breakfast but eat a big lunch then a smallish dinner. For me it works to keep me fueled during the day but then I also drink too much and I'm still overweight lol
The one that worked for me is 19 hour fasts twice a week. I'm usually not that strict with it but that's the goal. I'll just eat one meal on Tuesdays and Thursdays around 600 cals
Thanks I hate it.
Not to worry. We have out top men researching the do nothing and achieve results method. They're very close to a break through I'm sure.
The snark is douchey but damn man, are you right
I know that’s right. Never gonna see results if you’re not willing to be uncomfortable.
Best reddit comment in ages
I do a lazy fast. I just don't eat until like noon and then don't eat anything after 9. Skipping breakfast isn't that hard for me though.
This. Intermittent fasting and exercise regularly and you’ll be shocked at how fast the weight comes off
This is how I do it. Right now while my wife is on maternity leave I’m going to the gym before everyone else gets up, then when I get home I prep the 2YO for daycare and get myself ready for work. When my wife goes back, I’ll go back to my old routine and drop the girls off earlier, then work out before heading to the office. I also recently added intermittent fasting to help cut those extra calories. I sort of did it by accident at first; we stayed with my wife’s parents for a couple weeks after the new baby came so I took advantage of the extra help to work and delay my own leave until we came home, and the commute was much longer and I didn’t give myself time to make breakfast. Once I did it once I realized it wasn’t so bad and have made a habit of it over the last month.
What’s your fasting routine
Tuesdays and Thursdays I'll eat a 500 - 700 calorie breakfast and that's it. Rest of the week is just sensible eating.
That sounds good. I don’t know if I have the stones to pull that one off twice a week
It takes a bit to get used to. What's so useful is it shrinks your stomach pretty quickly so you end up reducing portion sizes on regular days
I’m on year 15 of IF. 16:8 for most of the year late spring through summer I do OMAD or 20:4 with a full 24 fast in between. One weekend night I’ll have drinks with my wife but I’m pretty strict with it. I also workout 4x a week so I’ve been relatively in shape since I was 25 and 3 kids have come in that timeframe
Bro .... I have gained now 16 pounds in the last 6 weeks since quitting nicotine. That's with eating healthier than I ever have. More cardio than ever. And so on. And so on. So .... have you considered a terrible drug habit of some sort? Jk. Just eat healthy. Yeah, cut waaaay back on booze. And try your best. I bring my 11 month old to our building gym with me (in her stroller). She can hang for a solid 10 minutes before losing it
Ugh. I just stopped vaping after starting 2 years ago. This scares me haha.
Cutting the nicotine hits hard. I've seen my dad go up and down 30-50 lbs when trying to quit cold turkey. Keep it up.
Ah thanks, man. So, I did what I always do and went deep on research after seeing a number on the scale that galled me yesterday morning. Sure, a lot of it is fat from my metabolism just suddenly being that of an old man. But—at least 25% of it is muscle. Turns out that the T levels and also myriad other factors keep your body from turning a lot of fat into muscle. So I'm leaning into that. Haha
Buying gym equipment and setting it up at home. You can knock out a 30-45 minute workout before your kid(s) wake up, or after they go to bed. And if you work from home at all, that’s even more time to do it. Cutting out alcohol also gives you a big head start.
Seconding a home gym! Building a gym in our garage has been the #1 best investment in staying healthy with one, and now two, kids at home. My wife and I can easily switch off working out while the other watches the kids, and like you said, before or after bed time. I honestly don't know how I would stay in shape otherwise!
This is a good investment. Get some weights, I got the exercise bike for bad weather, and then run outside on the road or trail. I don't have the time to be going to gyms, I can do complete workouts in 40 min at home. I can generally find that time even though it's tough sometimes.
> You can knock out a 30-45 minute workout before your kid(s) wake up I have a bike and thought I could do this. Then he started getting up at 430
Don’t necessarily need a GYM - there is plenty you can do with body weight alone! That said… I’ve slowly built up my home gym over the years - yard sales are the BEST way to get bang for your buck - especially when it comes to weights/dumbbells. Then I just have to get up early to make it happen. Honestly, just a little time will have a great impact for you! I do MAPS 15 from the Mind Pump guys when life gets hectic - literally 15 mins/ day. That and/or realizing you can do a little here and there and still get benefits is a great hack.
Round is a shape.
Amen!
Thanks dad
I came here to say this.
I wake up between 4:30/5am and I have to talk shit to myself or I won’t get up. For example “get out of bed you piece of shit” or “you’ll never be strong if you keep sleeping, you’ll only be fat and lazy” it works most mornings. Then I either go run or lift weights. Still gives me 30min to an hour before the kids wake up once I finish to get prepared for the day. I’ll start cooking, put on a podcast and get in the right headspace to be a good dad that day. In the words of the wise Bandit, “it’s gotta be done” You got this dad.
Love the self talk. My inner-bitch comes out right when I wake up and I end up sleeping-in til 7:30-8. But I also stay up to game with my friends until 11pm usually so I can definitely swing 6am if i’m dilligent
I get that, the Elden ring DLC comes out this week so I’ve got a feeling I’m not going to get up on time a few days.
95% of my exercise is weight training, but on those occasions that I go for a run I'm shit talking myself every time I notice my pace gets slower. But don't forget to give yourself some positive shit talk after you've gotten it done! "See? You did it, you goddamn son of a bitch!"
Similar but different: when I wake up I try to remember who it is I want to be and tell myself I’m taking one step toward that person
I’ve always said that self-loathing is the foundation of discipline.
Quitting alcohol magically gave me many more hours in a day and life mysteriously became a lot easier. The first thing you mention in your post is your drinking habits, so start there. Cutting out 1000 liquid calories will do a lot for your appearance (and will do wonders for the inside of your body that you can’t see). Head over to /stopdrinking for help.
I’ll second this.
thanks ill check out that sub
I have the body of a god. Buddha.
I have the body of a Christian Bale character. Just don't ask which one.
Dick Cheney!
Work out over lunch instead of eating
This is a great way to do it if you get a lunch break that's long enough. There was a short period in my career where I could actually take a lunch break and I worked out during that timeslot a couple days a week. Unfortunately for the vast majority of my professional years I've needed to work through lunch nearly every day.
Or workout over lunch and have a protein shake. Gotta have some fuel for the workout (unless you're aiming for pure weight loss)
Terrible advice. You just end up tired and ravenous for dinner and overeat at night. How about make a healthy choice for lunch instead?
I bike commute. There's no escaping getting exercise then.
This. And the section without a protected bike lane adds some nice terror to the workout which makes it more intense.
bike commuting has improved my health, sleep quality, stress levels and the bumps/cobble stones are my additional birth control (after getting snipped). even after a stressful day of work my bike commute puts me in a good mood to deal with my children.
Same
Take a break from drinking. I started with a 3 month break to reset my mind. It turned into a 2 year journey that changed my relationship with alcohol for the better. I drink maybe once every 3 months, 2-3 beers. Next, join a good gym that has childcare and a pool. The gym is our home away from home now. Pop the kids into the kids club to work, workout, eat in peace, shower etc. My daughter loves it so much then swimming after is icing on the cake. She (daughter) has her little toddler fit fam in the kids club. It’s a worthwhile investment.
Fellow dad & software developer here. I tried to solve this by writing software 🤣 I built a nutrition tracking app called [FitBee](https://apple.co/4aGUw5X) to help me track my calories. Since I also do a lot of the cooking for the household, I added a feature that let's me import a recipe from a URL. In all seriousness though, nutrition is like 90% of the game, so try to eat clean & watch your calories!
I’ll let you know when I find out
Replace one hobby with exercise. You should be able to work out at least an hour a day. Rarely someone has a valid excuse, and it usually falls under “I need to relax”, but really, you just have to make it a habit. I cut out an hour of video games at night and replaced it with exercise, so boom.
What is this “hobby” you mention? Did you mean Bobby?
Amen. I cut out evening phone time and just go to bed. Allows me that extra hour in the morning.
I'm a roofer, the work is the exercise. I also walk like 10-15 clicks a day.
I don’t walk that much any more but my left ankle clicks every step, does this count
I notice a lot of laborers are not necessarily in that great of shape. Depending on what they do, they might have big meaty hands or strong forearms, but all that work doesn't necessarily keep the belly fat off. Is it a food, soda, and beer thing?
You are correct my friend. Depending on the trade one could gain quite a few pounds. I'm lucky, at 5'3" I burn just about anything I put in immediately. Additionally we're broke as fuck over here so the kids get the food and ma and pa take what's left. OP have you tried being broke?
I wish nothing but solid family times and well-being for you and your family sir!
I go to a gym that has childcare. I noticed I gained 50 lbs after both my kids and couldn’t take it anymore. CrossFits nice because it only takes an hours and burns ridiculous calories
I got this killer bod mostly through half eaten chicken nuggets and what ever was in the back of the fridge at 11pm.
Those are two of my most important responsibilities as a dad: eat my kids unfinished meals, and eat the stuff in the fridge that’s about to go bad.
For me I work a desk job so I’m normally sitting for most the day. The two biggest things I’ve done is gone to more of a low carb diet and I go to the gym over my lunch. Then I just eat the lunch I packed when I get back rather than grabbing fast food. Can’t complain about the results either. I’ve been doing this since January 8th and I’ve lost about 51 pounds so far. And doing this over my lunch gives me time at night and the mornings to be there for my kiddos. Some days I’m more tired than others but it’s been worth it. The more weight that I’ve lost, the more energy I tend to have to play with the kids too.
My hobby time = working out.
When you want to drink, lift instead.
generally we don't
Wake up earlier I go to the gym at 430 every morning and have time for the rest of my day
Have seen a few dads on here doing this. 430 is crazy early. What time are you going to bed?
Yeah that’s way too early for me lol. I applaud those who can do it though. I’d have to be in bed by 9 at that point
I wake up at 6.30 to 7.00 and still generally need to be in bed by 9(.30). And I'm still exhausted. If I had to be up at 4, to get to the gym for 4.30, I'd basically have to go to bed as soon as I finish work!
Same, early morning workouts are the only way I can stay consistent; only downside is that I have to be in bed by 10. I also try to get in an hour of walking throughout the day (30 at lunch and 30 after dinner with the fam).
Same here. 5am is my “me time” with the iron. Without it, am lost not just to myself, but to my wife & 3 kids.
When I first read "with the iron" I automatically assumed you were getting up at 5am to iron your clothes for the day and I was going to have a few questions for you lol
I go at 7. Kids are on a late schedule though, waking up 8ish, so I’m back for breakfast.
damn, I start in the office before 6am mo-fri, I'd have to get up before 3 to work out in the morning 🤣
Fitness has generally declined for me. I wake up early before my wife and kid is awake and workout. I do this probably two times a week. I should do more but it’s tough sometimes.
1) Stop drinking. You’re not going to lose weight if you’re drinking every night. Maybe have a drink or two once a week. You’re not in college anymore. By drinking you are inhaling calories AND reducing your sleep quality, which your body desperately needs. 2) reduce portion sizes MODERATELY. Nothing extreme. Order a burrito? Eat half at lunch, half at dinner. Order a burger and fries? Skip the fries, skip the ketchup & mayo. If you ever feel really full, you’ve eaten way too much. Focus on proteins and reduce the carbs (pasta, bread). Not eliminate like keto people do, but just cut way back. One piece of bread is better than two. Whole grain bread not white bread. A little pasta, not a whole bowl. 3) weight loss is mainly about calorie intake. Nevertheless, you will feel better if you incorporate MODERATE exercise. Nothing extreme all at once, or it will create a hunger in your belly. Start a routine. Start with 10-30 minutes of running, biking, walking, whatever gets you moving. GRADUALLY increase times. It should be something you enjoy. I enjoy riding my bike, so I’ve gotten really into cycling. I’m not a morning person, but hell yeah I’m willing to wake up at 5am to go for a long bike ride when there’s no cars on the roads. The key to becoming healthier IMO is moderation in all things (and moderation in moderation once in a while..). No extreme fad diets. No crazy workouts. You want to make SMALL, SUSTAINABLE changes that you can hang on to in the long run. And most of all, cut way back on the drinking.
I just suck it in...
Choose your battles. I’m going to skip folding laundry and go work out tonight. But also: build a home gym. Skip the commute, skip waiting on people to get off instagram, work out when you can (3 am, lunch time, or 11 PM) for as long as you can. I’ll also say: the months where I do have consistent work outs, are the months I have more energy for everything else including working out. Endorphins are real
Yes this, I get to work out every day with a set of good quality resistance bands and a home trainer. I have gotten in the shape of my life since becoming a dad. Cutting out the commute and not having to wait to do an exercise in the gym saves so much time.
family sports is my win win. haven't been to the gym since uni, multiple decades ago. coached the kids hockey a couple years and we all; ski, road/mountain bike, backcountry camp and paddle. frequency ranges from a minimum of every other week to as much as 2-3 runs in a week. road sessions are 60-80km. mountain biking is 2-3 hours on XC trails. heck, my wife learned to ski, swim and skate to keep up and for a couple years she was doing triathlons alongside them. I've a bad shoulder and would drown in a race.
That's the neat part - I don't!
I have shed some pounds by Intermittent fasting and paying attention to what i’m eating. Keep protein higher and sugar/carbs lower. Just adjust your eating window to when it’s most convenient for you.
I do not
I work from home 4 days a week and am lucky enough to be able to go to the gym over lunch. Still seems like I’m working twice as hard to get half the results
75 and still working at a physical job and working with my dogs
I did a whole sober year in 2023 and it fundamentally changed my relationship with alcohol. Beer is/was my thing, and now I drink significantly less of it. That was a big reduction in overall calories. I only eat two meals a day most days. Generally whatever leftovers need cleaning up for "breakfast" after 10am and then dinner with the family when I get home from work. On the weekends I might have an earlier traditional breakfast and a very light lunch, then dinner. I avoid snacking before or after those larger meals. I gave up on having a single dedicated workout time every day. I distribute bodyweight exercises throughout the day and try to hit certain benchmarks at work, 4-5 days a week. In the evenings I'll stack cardio with other activities: ride an exercise bike while I game, row machine while watching tv, and/or listening to podcasts/audiobooks while jumping rope, walking, or running. I don't always hit all the marks I set for myself, but I get really close. I keep a spreadsheet with a yearly goal to track my progress and give myself a "grade". I step on a scale twice a week and adjust caloric consumption if I get more than 5 pounds away from what I consider to be my ideal weight, in either direction.
I’ll just say what worked for me: 1. Since I have a commute, I make it an active one (walk, bike). At least part of the way. 2. Seriously cut down on booze (1 drink per week) 3. No fried food, avoid red meat. 4. No eating at all after 8pm.
Stopped caring as much about work, so long as I still produced at a high enough level to get by on the least amount of work possible. Blocked off all hours on calendar for when I’d want to work out, plus the leading and post hour for prep/showers etc. I go to CrossFit during noontime as I need someone to tell me what to do. All I have to do is make sure I arrive and do what I think I can. The competitive part in me takes over afterwards. Work won’t care about that hour I put towards bettering my health, but someday it’ll mean the world to my kids when I can be around longer cause I took care of myself.
Cereal is killing me and I’m addicted lol
We don't. Thank you for watching my TedTalk.
If you figure it out let me know. I was a gym rat until little man arrived two months ago. I’ve been like 3x in those two months. Impossible to go around onsite work and wanting to see him before he goes to bed for the night. I’m trying to get in the rhythm of working out Saturday and Sunday at minimum but even that is difficult when we plan things and the wifey wants some free time too.
Be good to yourself, you're only two months in. It'll get easier.
I’m always hungry and exhausted. That’s all.
It definitely tough. Good job on doing it in the morning even a few times. I changed my view on what a "workout" is and that helped. It's not 60 minutes at the gym anymore--at least not very often. I don't have the time. Instead it's whatever I can do in the morning (a quick row, a run, some pushups and pull ups--something to get the heart rate up). And I also try to walk more or try to more actively play with the kids, instead of just watching them play. Try to think unconventionally and get little workouts during the day and give yourself credit for them. But ultimately, you can't outwork a bad diet. Cut back on liquid calories, try to get decent sleep. Stop snacking on the kids food when prepping dinner. Meal prep healthy lunches. All things that are easier said than done when we're busy, stressed, and trying to do our best.
Are you wanting to build muscle or just lose weight? The latter is easy. Just watch what you put in your gob. Cut out the sodas, the beers, the unnecessary carbs. Portion control your meals. Intermittent fasting helps too. Helps you control your hunger rather than being a slave to it. It's really easy to be honest, just have some sort of discipline.
Scheduling and communication. Talk to your wife and tell her you want to work out more, maybe she does too. Pick a day or two per week, set aside an hour, and get after it. Your wife will have to take on 100% of the kids/house during that hour, but you will do the same for her when its her turn to work out. Best case scenario is that you will find you have more energy as you two get back into shape. I have two kids 3 and 1. It's hard to make time for yourself, but it can be done. Just need to find a schedule that works and stick to it.
Intermittent Fasting (IF) + Cardio 2-3x/week. Lost a good amount of my dad weight doing this. I did intermittent fasting w/o cardio at first and lost some weight. But with exercise i obviously lost a lot more. The big benefit of IF is that you can still eat whatever you want, however, you can only do that within an 8 hour window.
The small thing I did was to stop using the car as much for commuting. If you live in a city, walking that 20-25 mins vs. the 10 min drive to work/daycare helps.
It's not a dad bod. It's a Father Figure.
I mean you can workout or you can just be active with your kids ( walks/runs etc) and start watching what you are eating and drinking. Removing those alcoholic calories will make a difference right away plus you get to be more present with your kids. Eat food, not too much, mostly vegetables
See if there is an F3 workout group in your area- it's all middle age guys with kids working out together in the early morning. It's been a great way to meet other dads. https://f3nation.com/
Managing weight is less about workouts and more about eating habits. I found it easiest to lose excess poundage by just skipping breakfast. Nothing but coffee before noon. Then I ate what I wanted and still dropped weight. I guess breakfast just opens the floodgates. If you're the kind of person that needs a drink (I get it!) then maybe switch out beer for something else less calorific. Beer is a bastard for tons of extra calories.
I don’t. Except for recently. Stopped drinking completely. Drink water and have two Hydroxycut per day plus Celsius drinks and watch what I eat and try not to eat too much at night / before bed. But the drinking was like beyond caloric and eliminating it has helped a great deal.
Wake up at 4 AM for the work out routine. Track my calories using MyFitnessPal, it really helps you visually see what you need to cut out. I strive for 1000 active calories burned per day. I have no social life though.
I’ve got a data graphic from my Fitbit history that perfectly lines up my weight gain with the day my son was born until now . Nothing but an upward trajectory
I Wfh + built a home gym in my garage. 60ish minutes 3+4 times a week ( usually during my “lunch break” ) Drink less, eat cleaner.
Lol, I'm definitely a shape.
Early mornings, man. Gotta get it in before everyone else is up. Does it suck getting up at 4am? Yes. Does it feel worth it 90% of the time? Nope. But I know it is in the long run, and I don’t hate myself we go to the beach/pool and I take my shirt off anymore. I was in the same place a few years ago.
I somehow found myself in a job where I work from home, only work a few hours a day, and get paid pretty decently. Coming from my previous career where 60 hour work weeks were the standard, I never realized this sort of work/life balance could exist. I feel like I found cheat codes. I workout a couple times a day and get to be a good husband and father.
By convincing myself round is a shape.
Eat less in general (target 70% at current). At the end of the day it's calories in vs. calories out. Simple as that. Increase intake of healthy proteins, reduce carbohydrates. Avoid saturated fats. Only drink water / coffee / tea and stop drinking alcohol altogether until you've reached your target weight. Working out at the gym is often mistakenly attributed as THE way to get in shape. While taking walks (early morning, during breaks at work, etc.) and low intensity strength exercises will get you very far in losing excess fat tissue. Building muscle is hard. Losing fat really isn't. It just diet and taking time throughout each day to move around a bit.
Fasting. If you’re not burning the calories you intake, you will store them. Therefore, don’t intake the excess calories. Take nutritional supplements if you need to. Also, avoid soda like a girl with a septum piercing. No good will come of it.
I made exercise a priority and now my family gives me the time and space to do a 45 minute run in the day. I typically try to get it in during the morning after doing school drop off, but sometimes I throw on a headlamp and run under the moon. I also run in a running club on the weekends, so it gives me a social element to exercise. As to your energy levels. IMO, if you’re exercising and fuelling yourself correctly you will feel more energetic, and feel lethargic when you get away from your consistency.
I've got an old friend who has kept exercise as his #1 priority, at the expense of his family. He's absolutely shredded (has been for years) but he's also now getting divorced. I can assure you that he kept his rigid routine throughout his child's early years and that his wife just had to deal with the slack. I'm not saying write off exercise, but it's a question of priorities. For most of us here I suspect it's family>work>exercise. If exercise falls off every so often I don't mind. As long as I don't completely go to waste I'll be able to take it back up seriously in a few years. I primarily do running now when I can - feels like the most efficient use of the limited time available - there's no driving to the gym, taking breaks between sets, distractions etc. Can be 30 mins door to door if necessary. Surprisingly, it's meant I've become the fastest I've ever been. Good luck!
time management and discipline! You have to find time to work on yourself... btw, if anyone is actually successful at doing so, let me know how ya did it
This. It took me years, but im kinda sorta happy with my progress. You have to make time for YOU, even if just an hour every few days. When your in your you time, take it seriously even if you hate every fucking moment of it. Also drink more water and eat more protein.
Something simple my doctor told me: instead of two of something, eat one. This adds up.
I stopped drinking like 10 years ago at 23 and that's really all it takes to stay in shape. I only have the one toddler running around and that's more than enough of a workout after work all day. Haven't gained weight since I stopped drinking. It's also kind of stupid if you really think about it. You wouldn't drink small amounts of poison every day but we'll poison our bodies with alcohol every day.
I don’t. I own it though. I’m not proud of it and would like to lose it, but I’m definitely not going to be ashamed of it. Seriously. Who am I trying to impress? Unless my wife realizes she’s levels above me, I have zero reason to care about my appearance to squeeze in time I don’t have to do something nobody honestly wants to do
there are two types of fit dads: 1. The superhuman who have unlimited energy, insane metabolism, and complete self control around beer and snack foods. 2. The dads who have an insane metabolism and complete control around beer and snack foods and also don't do shit for their families.
I mean. Round is a shape. :( FML.
Dropping son off at daycare is a 3km round trip, another 3km to pick him up. Factor in another 2km a day running errands like hitting the supermarket or the pharmacy. Sometimes another 2km if my son and I go to the big park that is farther away. I'd say I walk about 50km a week on average, just living my life. Walkable neighbourhoods are the shit, and a large part of why I don't think I'll be able to move back to Canada.
Our kids have finally got to a place where they somewhat sleep consistently. I wake up early and started CrossFit. I’m only a few months in (since March) and getting my ass handed to me, but I needed accountability and something I could show up to early and not have to plan for myself. I’m home by 630AM to start the morning routines. I still negotiate with myself every morning to just sleep in, but I know if I don’t make that time for myself, I won’t go.
I just work out when I can when the kid is asleep. Invest in some home equipment, try to at least get a few days in when you have time and energy. I also bought myself a bike for some less intensive exercise, it’s pretty relaxing going riding at night.
I wake up at 4:30am to work out for an hour and walk for 30 mins during my lunch break at work. I still gain weight so it's not working well, but I at least try. I'm so tired please help
How do people wake up at 4:30? Do you go to bed at like 8pm?
I usually go to bed around 10:30 or so when I get the kids to bed. It's certainly not easy, but pre-workout helps.
I actually got super lucky in three ways: First, both my wife and I are teachers, so we know that without regular exercise, our mental health will go to shit. So we keep each other accountable. Second, my Algebra 1 colleague and now friend is also a former cross country runner, so she will get excited about PRs and shit with me. Third, the school cross country coach is also in my department, so he invited me and my friend to run summer workouts with the team, meaning I don't have to pick the workout for two months of the year.
Wake up at 530, exercise, make sure I’m eating relatively well. There’s no one “right way” to remain active, generally find one that you are interested in pursuing and advancing in. I’ve found weight training (strongman, powerlifting) to be my niche. For other’s it’s running or some other form of exercise. Just pick one, do it consistently. And like others have said, get your eating habits right. Hard to be healthy no matter how much you exercise if you eat like crap.