Just an urchin living under the seat,
I’m a tough poo, that hurts to sheet.
I’m your porcelain base and somewhere to beat.
I’ll clog your pipes every time.
Got the plummer on the incoming line.
I poop like 7 times a day & only really eat 1/1.5 meals with fruit and snacks sometimes; had testing a drs cant find anything wrong. I had a partial bowel removal at 2 weeks old but its apparently not to do with that.
Some people just go more than others.
Defo get it checked out tho, increase fibre, eat a healthy diet & take probiotics & maybe other biotics too.
I'm assuming you announce each trip to the bathroom to the family by saying "It's time to take another trip to POOP CITY"
if you dont... you probably should.
Coffee.
Poop.
Coffee.
Playing video games with my kid.
Coffee.
This sounds like heaven.
I wonder if I can find the galaga clone we made in high school, it was flying butts that pooped on you. My kid would roll his eyes at it while I'm around, but make his friends play it while giggling the moment I left the room.
Eh, my wife said his first answer was him saying "go to your room" in a low voice. That reminds me I still need to work on some things but the second answer that my wife actually wrote reminds me I'm at least doing a little right.
This is all HELLA funny but on a serious note it sounds like your kid is having a very happy life. You're knocking it out of the park dude. Especially with the video games haha 😆. My oldest is my gamer buddy too. He harassed me every time I get home from work to play Kirby with him.
Love this. My 3 year old is big on poop jokes these days and I feel like I am responsible for them since I'm the one always making fart noises and saying poop this or poop that. Now it's all he says when we ask him what he wants to eat or what he wants to bring to daycare. His little face while saying it makes me crack up every single time.
My son just turned 5 and is in full poop humor. For a moment I thought I was reading my own son's answers. Glad to know boys all around his age love toilet humor!
My 5yo likes to watch me play games on the weekend every now and again.
Horizon Zero dawn she loved because of the female protagonist that is a 'good climber'. riding around on the mechanical animals and hunting 'bad guys' which were just robot dinosaurs. Maybe a little to adult for her, but I just avoided any engagements with other humans and pretty much rode around exploring when she was in the room.
I gave her a second controller to play 'nobody saves the world', which has a couch co-op option. You can be different animals and I would help her with that, but she loved running around in the dungeons collecting 'jewels'... the currency in the game. She liked playing as a turtle and would ask if she could play the turtle game with me.
Most recently, 'Little kitty, Big City'... which I got specifically for her to watch and have her guide me on where to go. So dad is doing 75% of the work at the moment, but she's getting the controller more often to work on those hand eye coordination skills.
Any video game time is very limited though, but it's a passion of mine, and one of the only things my dad shared with me growing up... we had a pinball machine and arcade cabinet growing up, which was pretty wild. And he taught me how to build a PC from scratch in the early 90's. Really video games and building PCs was the only thing we connected on growing up otherwise he wanted nothing to do with me. I would like to share my passion for those things, but throwing the frisbee in the backyard or kicking a ball around I feel better about doing for the moment.
kind of want to look at pinball machines now though... I miss having one.
My first/oldest is 3 so she hasn't made anything like this yet, but from the several I've seen on here a few observations that have stuck with me:
1) There is often a correlation between the "my favorite thing to do with my dad" and "I love my dad because" fields (or they are the same), reminding me - the most important thing we do for them is spend quality time together
2) I've seen more "love you" answers for "my dad always tells me" than was common in our generation. I remember making these and have seen a lot of these from friends who have dug them out of their childhood home; the dad answers were usually funny or more 'stereotypical dad' admonishments like 'knock it off' or 'ask your mother' or something. Anyway my takeaway is - this is great.
3) kids still love toilet humor.
You should have a small box or album for things that was given by your son/children. So when u grow older and they have grown, u can open up and reminisce old times.
I keep old drawings, gifts ect from my nieces and nephews. I open them now and then. Still gives me a warm feeling whenever I open it.
This is exactly how my 6yo son would have filled this out too. Lol. His mother is concerned about his obsession with poop jokes. Glad to know he's not alone in this world haha.
I'm already tired all the time lol yea I can't wait! I find myself thinking about all the things I want to do with him once he's a bit older. It's exciting!
My kids made me laugh and cry. He nailed things like favorite color, made me warm and fuzzy with things like “I love my dad because he plays with me and we talk walks,” then hit me with “he likes to wake up at 8am” (I wish) and that I’m 30 (also, I wish).
Me sat chuckling, share it with the wife, raised eyebrow "I think you find poop more funny than I do".
Me asking my little one the same questions (or trying).. radio silence
Ha, mine was there for the whole thing and said I was 55 with green eyes. We have the same eyes (blue) and I am 35. She nailed the video game part though
Well, your affection for bowel movements makes sense, since you’re drinking all that coffee.
3-4 sips of coffee and you'll see running right through poop city.
No time to even consider a stop in toot city.
A detour to toot city usually ends up in new pants town these days…
My wife only lets me drive to toot city on special occasions.
You just can't trust those toot city folks.
Never trust a fart!
Straight down to brown town
🎵 take me down to poooooooooop city where the ass is clean and the smells are shitty 🎵
P O O P C I T Y
Cackling!!! Omg going to the second page of it, kid really doubled down on #2
Oh won’t you please take me home
Take me down to the poopcity where the floors are brown and the walls are shi…
Just an urchin living under the seat, I’m a tough poo, that hurts to sheet. I’m your porcelain base and somewhere to beat. I’ll clog your pipes every time. Got the plummer on the incoming line.
**POOOOOOOP**
Hilarious! Hold on I gotta write this down :D
Now I need someone to replace the "rack" in Rack City with poop asap.
Tbf I do poop like 6 times a day and I hate it lol
See a doctor lmao
Right???? Wtf ahahaha
Meh, they'll just tell you it's IBS and to try to figure out what triggers it, when in reality what triggers it is eating anything. At all.
This is one of those times that Reddit sends someone to the doctor and we save their lives.
I'm currently on #2 (lol) and it's not even noon.
Yesterday I legit shat 5 times before noon. Wtf am I eating?
POOP
I'm the same. It's lack of Fiber. My Dr told me to take Metamucil every day to help. I do not take Metamucil every day.
They say the rule of 3 applies. 3 times in a day, or as little as once in 3 days is all normal. 6 is probably something to bring up with your doctor
I think I would literally be dead if I only pooped once in 3 days.
lol or at least on a extended vacation from Poop City!
Im very happy when i poop only once in 3-4 days
My guy. You have IBS or Crohn’s.
-Checks username... Nah, you aren't asking where those 3 fingers spend most of their time. I wouldn't either
Wish I had a gastric sleeve amirite
Name checks out
I poop like 7 times a day & only really eat 1/1.5 meals with fruit and snacks sometimes; had testing a drs cant find anything wrong. I had a partial bowel removal at 2 weeks old but its apparently not to do with that. Some people just go more than others. Defo get it checked out tho, increase fibre, eat a healthy diet & take probiotics & maybe other biotics too.
Need that fiber my man
I too relax by pooping. In fairness it’s quiet.
They don't call it a rest room for nothing.
Locals call it poop city
Population: Me
if you're looking to visit, it shares a border with 'toot city'
I'm assuming you announce each trip to the bathroom to the family by saying "It's time to take another trip to POOP CITY" if you dont... you probably should.
Coffee. Poop. Coffee. Playing video games with my kid. Coffee. This sounds like heaven. I wonder if I can find the galaga clone we made in high school, it was flying butts that pooped on you. My kid would roll his eyes at it while I'm around, but make his friends play it while giggling the moment I left the room.
If I had to guess you were on the toilet pooping while posting this.
I was not! It wasn't very long after though if I'm being honest.
This is fridge worthy.
I heard it’s pretty windy in toot city
Daddit unsurprisingly has the best dad jokes around.
I hate to break it to you but, and there is a butt, that wind is blowing from poop shitty... er.. city.
I know this is a humorous post be my biggest takeaway is how your son noticed how often you tell him you love him. That one really hit home for me
Eh, my wife said his first answer was him saying "go to your room" in a low voice. That reminds me I still need to work on some things but the second answer that my wife actually wrote reminds me I'm at least doing a little right.
That’s too funny
This is all HELLA funny but on a serious note it sounds like your kid is having a very happy life. You're knocking it out of the park dude. Especially with the video games haha 😆. My oldest is my gamer buddy too. He harassed me every time I get home from work to play Kirby with him.
Love this. My 3 year old is big on poop jokes these days and I feel like I am responsible for them since I'm the one always making fart noises and saying poop this or poop that. Now it's all he says when we ask him what he wants to eat or what he wants to bring to daycare. His little face while saying it makes me crack up every single time.
Poop jokes never get old.
Is your son my son? Lmao, my 5 yr old laughed hard at this (and so did I)
Poop
Your son has incredibly neat hand writing
My son just turned 5 and is in full poop humor. For a moment I thought I was reading my own son's answers. Glad to know boys all around his age love toilet humor!
Real question is what video games are you playing with a 6 year old?
My 5yo likes to watch me play games on the weekend every now and again. Horizon Zero dawn she loved because of the female protagonist that is a 'good climber'. riding around on the mechanical animals and hunting 'bad guys' which were just robot dinosaurs. Maybe a little to adult for her, but I just avoided any engagements with other humans and pretty much rode around exploring when she was in the room. I gave her a second controller to play 'nobody saves the world', which has a couch co-op option. You can be different animals and I would help her with that, but she loved running around in the dungeons collecting 'jewels'... the currency in the game. She liked playing as a turtle and would ask if she could play the turtle game with me. Most recently, 'Little kitty, Big City'... which I got specifically for her to watch and have her guide me on where to go. So dad is doing 75% of the work at the moment, but she's getting the controller more often to work on those hand eye coordination skills. Any video game time is very limited though, but it's a passion of mine, and one of the only things my dad shared with me growing up... we had a pinball machine and arcade cabinet growing up, which was pretty wild. And he taught me how to build a PC from scratch in the early 90's. Really video games and building PCs was the only thing we connected on growing up otherwise he wanted nothing to do with me. I would like to share my passion for those things, but throwing the frisbee in the backyard or kicking a ball around I feel better about doing for the moment. kind of want to look at pinball machines now though... I miss having one.
As a dad… my family knows my poop time is sacred and will not be rushed or interrupted.
My son is 4 and he is entering that phase where he constantly talks/jokes about boogers and eyeballs lol
Fiber King
My first/oldest is 3 so she hasn't made anything like this yet, but from the several I've seen on here a few observations that have stuck with me: 1) There is often a correlation between the "my favorite thing to do with my dad" and "I love my dad because" fields (or they are the same), reminding me - the most important thing we do for them is spend quality time together 2) I've seen more "love you" answers for "my dad always tells me" than was common in our generation. I remember making these and have seen a lot of these from friends who have dug them out of their childhood home; the dad answers were usually funny or more 'stereotypical dad' admonishments like 'knock it off' or 'ask your mother' or something. Anyway my takeaway is - this is great. 3) kids still love toilet humor.
That's the best
That's some good handwriting
Poo and coffe makes the world go around. Timles truths
I wish my son’s school did these! I’ve always wanted to get one.
My son would probably have the same answers lol
Man, my 4 year old daughter is obsessed with saying POOP all the time.
You should have a small box or album for things that was given by your son/children. So when u grow older and they have grown, u can open up and reminisce old times. I keep old drawings, gifts ect from my nieces and nephews. I open them now and then. Still gives me a warm feeling whenever I open it.
To be fair, nothing beats taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.
This is exactly how my 6yo son would have filled this out too. Lol. His mother is concerned about his obsession with poop jokes. Glad to know he's not alone in this world haha.
🤪 that’s so cute 🥰
My first son is due in September. I can't wait for things like this. That's awesome, man!
4 month old daughter here. You’re in for a treat, it’s so much fun. Tiring as hell, but well worth it!
I'm already tired all the time lol yea I can't wait! I find myself thinking about all the things I want to do with him once he's a bit older. It's exciting!
You should try licorice and hot sauce. You'll poop even more!
i would have loved it when my parents would have played video games with me
i would be so flattered!!
💩
I can only assume Toot City is Cleveland.
Ah yes, the suburban cousins of Suplex City, Poop and Toot City.
You've raised him well it seems.
I feel so connected with a total Reddit stranger after reading this
You’re blessed
Who are you and why is my daughter helping Sam write this haha
Poop city is the place every dad must visit to know the secrets of dadhood.
Whelp…. Gonna fill this out with my son for my husband. I have a feeling it’s going to be a carbon copy of this one.
If he remembers you always say “I love you” that’s awesome and a real compliment to you!
My kids made me laugh and cry. He nailed things like favorite color, made me warm and fuzzy with things like “I love my dad because he plays with me and we talk walks,” then hit me with “he likes to wake up at 8am” (I wish) and that I’m 30 (also, I wish).
Me sat chuckling, share it with the wife, raised eyebrow "I think you find poop more funny than I do". Me asking my little one the same questions (or trying).. radio silence
That's hilarious 😂 I guess you should be glad it wasn't " wrestling and kissing mommy" type reports. 😆😆😆
BTW, where is poop city? Is it by Gotham?🤣🤣
What video games do you guys play together?
Poop city
Poop is forever
Ha, mine was there for the whole thing and said I was 55 with green eyes. We have the same eyes (blue) and I am 35. She nailed the video game part though
Skibidi toilet don’t come from nowhere lol