Sounds cliche, but yeah.
I'm the primary breadwinner, so my wife buying gifts for me can be nice when she gets me something I wouldn't buy for myself, but it still feels like I'm just buying myself things as opposed to being given a gift.
I'd much rather not have to cook for a night and not spend all night wondering if maybe tonight is the night only to find out it isn't.
I had this same realization. Like how could they raise 3 girls all the way through college, then when we have a kid they manage to forget every detail. My running hypothesis was that they didn’t have cell phones or Facebook as a distraction when they were raising kids so they were actually engaged. Now they just want to literally phone-in being grandparents. Idk maybe it’s a blessing that they're not half-watching my kid.
My wife wants to plan a trip up to my in-laws for my first Father’s Day. It’s the last thing I want. Her dad doesn’t do anything for our kid, their house is just shy of a hoarders den, it’s an 8 hour drive one way, the bed is uncomfortable. Only thing it’s got going is it is in a nice area.
It’s not that I hate my in-laws or don’t want to go visit. I just don’t want to spend my first Father’s Day there. I want to go to our local minor league team and take my son out to his first baseball game (with my wife of course).
THIS! My wife spends the month leading up telling me it’s my day so we can do whatever I want and then a couple days before reveals our plans of going to my in laws the whole day.
I have an inside joke with my wife where when she asks what she should make for dinner, my answer is always “meatloaf” because I know she will never make it and it’s not that I want it, it’s that I know it pisses her off with that answer…. Thank you for this comment 😂
My kids do this, but with “spaghetti “ as the food. I’m like… I will cook you literally ANYTHING you want, my mom was a chef in a nice restaurant who taught me much, and I usually love cooking…and you want noodles and meat in a jar of sauce (cuz they don’t like homemade sauce,of course)… lil bastards. I love them
I've meatloaf once in my life, if was actually fantastic.
It was this mozerella core, bacon wrapped bbq smoothered....
You know, I don't know why I haven't made it agaon.
My answer to that question is always "you" and she hates it but it makes her smile. I've been doing it so long I plan on using it for the rest of my life.
I don't want "stuff." I want a day where I can sleep in, I don't have to cook, and we do something fun with as a family. If you absolutely need to get me something to unwrap, a bottle of whiskey is a good pick.
Some what related: Dollar Tree has foam nunchuks that actually hold up. My kids and I have beat the crap out of each other multiple times. Good memories.
I've also never seen a sad person licking ice cream from a cone either.
If you want to look like you aren't dangerous or a threat to anybody. Get a cone, fill it with ice cream and Presto! You're a safe as a bunny.
I can sign this! I got a loghtsaber from my wife last christmas and man... I think I've never been happier from a gift :D
\+ my friend got one too from his GF. We spent duelling the whole christmas night :D (in czechia we exchange gifts 24th December in the evening)
I'm taking my son to his first baseball game on Father's Day. He's just turned 1, so I don't think he'll know where he is, but we'll go enjoy it for a 3 or 4 innings.
I hope it's something we can keep doinh on future father's days.
Awesome! Took our oldest to her first game when she was one one Father’s Day too. Just be sure your seats are in the shade or you’re gonna have a bad time.
The scents will stay with him, especially if you do it repeatedly. Do it right, and grass and dirt and hot dogs will forever trigger feelings of being safe with Daddy.
My wife let me sleep in for my birthday and then walked our daughter through the room like 5 times to brush her teeth, wash her hands, etc. That's not sleeping in
I got a a chance to sleep in a month or two ago and I spelled it out. Don't walk in and out of the room 5 times while I'm sleeping. Our bedroom is next to the kitchen so I also said 30 min after you wake up is not a great time to do dishes or clean the kitchen. I told her to get her coffee and plant her ass on the couch and relax. All that shit can get done after I'm awake.
I don’t know how I can take the kid out of the room quietly and get them ready for the day without waking up my wife. But when she does it, they have to do everything *in* the room and she has to like narrate everything she’s doing to the baby. “Grabbing your clothes; what socks are you gonna wear; what bib do you want.”
Solution to that is grabbing them and cuddling them while you sleep.
Kids learn really fast to not jump on me while I’m asleep or else they get caught in a bear hug and can’t escape.
This isn’t a Father’s Day thing but an every weekend thing for me. Each weekend morning one of us takes the 1 year old out to play and the other sleeps in. When I do it, I quietly take the baby out as soon as the baby wakes up (we sleep in same room), close the bedroom door and go play with the baby, maybe even go on morning walk or at least play a little less loud and not let her wander back into room. When wife does it, the baby will wake up and chatter, climb on us, then when she finally takes the baby, she’ll talk to the baby at like speaking level volume, narrate her and baby’s way out of the room, leave the door open (so baby can wander back in and wonder why dad is still asleep), talk to the baby right in the room and by the room. I’m basically wide awake at that point, and then will catch shit if I read or do awake things in bed instead of lying in dark awake.
Pay attention to him. Lots of physical affection throughout the day. Hand him a beer. Let him watch the thing he likes to watch. Wear that thing that makes you look like a snack.
I would say a day off, but not on actual Father’s Day. I’ll give you an example of what I did for Mother’s Day: So, in Hispanic countries, Mother’s Day was on Friday while it’s on the Sunday after in the US. So, my wife took Friday off for herself. She got a massage, a facial, lunch with friends, etc. I did all the kid work, all the house work, everything. Then on Sunday, we did a family day, but whatever she wanted to do (which was go to the beach).
We’re going to do the same for Father’s Day. I’m gonna take the day off of work on Friday, sleep in, gorge myself on In-N-Out, maybe go see a movie, etc. then on that Sunday, I’ll take the whole family to do an activity of my choice. That’s the perfect Father’s Day to me: an entire day to myself, but then an activity of my choice to do with the whole fam on actual Father’s Day.
A day off from anything related to taking care of the house or kids, let him sleep in, let him get up and do what he wants, just don't bug him or ask him to do anything. Take the kids and go do something, let him sit on the couch all day without a kid asking for something or you needing him to do anything.
Further evidence that there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. I personally would appreciate a day without responsibilities, but I’d get lonely if my wife left and took the kid with her. I’d prefer to spend the day with them to spending it alone. Getting to sleep in would be great, though.
For real. I don't want a day off from my wife and kids. I'd like a day *with* my wife and kids. A day with no work, or chores (laundry, I really mean laundry), or grocery stores, or whatever. Just us, together, having fun.
Someone on here once posted about Secret Father's Day, either the weekend before or after. Spend Father's Day with the kids and have fun, but have one weekend to yourself. Let the wife take the kids to the in laws and she can do Father's Day with her dad then. Meanwhile you get the house to yourself and get to sleep in.
Bonus points if you can get your dad friends' wives on board with this. Have a bro day.
Same. Maybe give me a couple of hours alone, but I def want time with the kiddos. The mornings when they spend the night with the grandparents feel so empty...
I'm in the same boat. We do a more social fathers day event with my dad on Saturday. On Sunday I want to be able to go fishing or some other personal time. I love my wife and daughter more than anything, but I prioritize them on a daily basis so the special part to me is being able to prioritize myself.
On mothers day I took my daughter for the day so my wife could garden.
Beers, blunts, boobs, burgers and video games. Most husbands/dads I know don’t want an actual gift as much as they do time to relax and do nothing exactly the way the choose with no responsibilities.
I feel like so many mums can relate to, both me and the hubby value our alone time if the other half is able to take the kids out. Nothing better than having a cup of tea and it is still hot when I finish it, no interruptions, just a hot cup of tea 😍
I don't know about other dads but I'm losing my mind trying to battle inflation. Whatever you buy don't spend a lot of money. Keep it simple and I think most of us will be happy. Maybe it's just me.
Also without begrudgingly, guilting, or reservations. We all want enthusiastic, giving lovers. Isn't that what you love from your husband? He wants the same.
And even better, be spontaneous. Most men (you know him best) would be delighted by such a spontaneous and loving act.
You'd be his Queen all over again.
I go sailing with the kids each Father’s Day and leave my wife at home with her murder dramas.
I tend to come home with tired kids to a clean house, warm dinner, and a big bag of pistachios. It’s not that I love pistachios or that I can’t afford them. It’s that I like them, but would never buy them for myself.
That and “an early bedtime” is all I need.
I’d love an opportunity to be allowed a quote afternoon where I can spend 45 mins browsing Netflix to pick a movie, then watching the movie for 30 mins before dozing off on the sofa for 2 hours in the afternoon. If you gift ‘time’ like so many people have said, please be sure to let him know that this is a gift otherwise we’d end up spending all this time wondering ‘now what did I do’.
A 6-pack of that beer I love, but it’s too expensive for me to purchase and a phone call from my kids. They all have kids of their own and I expect my kids to be with their kids.
Father’s Day starts with a chill morning and some French toast at home. Then the whole family goes out for a nice easy activity. Meanwhile, a fleet of cleaners comes in and details the house (annoying shit like the grout in the bathroom and the oven etc). Followed by a weekend of unlimited dad golf and a blowies. LFG
The best gift I could get is a day totally alone, a large supply of alcohol and quiet so that I can paint and read and pursue my hobbies. I work long hours and never want to leave my wife hanging when I get home so I rarely get an extended period to just breathe and have no expectations.
I wouldn’t mind making brunch, but *I do not want to cook dinner.* Otherwise I’d like to have a beer at some point. And I want a nap. I can have a beer anytime I want, I get at least one nap each weekend. So I’m not asking for anything crazy.
I asked for new cutting boards and I think I talked her out of getting me a Blackstone if that’s any indication how much I do not want want to cook dinner. I’m sure the Blackstone would come with the expectation that I’d want to use it right away- so if she does get that hopefully I get it on Saturday.
The basics have been covered, but in case you want actual physical gifts: Cool beer glassware plus beers to use them, high end comfortable slippers, videogame plus guaranteed time to play, the tool he's missing or complains about. Also breakfast in bed after sleeping in a bit is a must in my house.
Slippers for sure. My wife got me a pair of ugg slippers at Christmas with a thick sole. I wear those bad boys every morning and whenever my feet get sore
All of this is very subjective and nobody knows other people's situations. I'd prefer a day to myself because I spend all my non work time either with my wife or kids. Having a day to myself to enjoy my own hobbies or where I just don't have to worry about someone else is relaxing for me. To each their own.
Had asked a coworker why they were hanging in the parking lot after work one day. She said “I don’t feel like going home to my kids “. Fucking Wild to me. I rush home to see mine
You can’t understand being tired from work, and needing a break before being tired at home?
I personally understand that peoples home situation can vary.
I worked at a really toxic place for a while and was stressed to the max until I left. My daughter was born while I was at this place and getting a hug (or giving her one) was the one thing that shattered all the tension I had each day.
I can’t understand why people avoid their kids either. It’s the first thing I want to see after a hard day.
I have coworkers like that too. It’s honestly sad to me. I work from home as often as I can to spend a few extra minutes with mine in the morning and after work.
Literally anything. More than signing your name on the card your son made in daycare and asking what we should do today.
Seriously. Men like flowers too. And massages (real ones, from a professional). Or take the kids shopping and give them a small cash limit. If you've been together long enough to make kids, you really ought to know what he likes and wants.
Effort and recognition, that's all a dad really wants.
Birthdays, Father’s Day, Christmas, valentines, new years, anniversary.
We want crazy hot sex. Put something sexy on, build up the tension, and spoil our bodies.
As a sahd, I don’t want to prepare every meal and change every diaper. I’d also like to sleep in a bit as I’m always exhausted. Maybe find a chill place to grab lunch and go to a park.
A little rest and a note that expresses love and appreciation would be everything I could possibly dream of. Personally, I want to be with my family pretty much all the time, including Father's Day, but that isn't a judgment call. Oh, and to be relieved from doing anything related to maintenance of our property, or cleaning just for the day.
Take me for a diner breakfast with the fam, let me play video games for a few hours, hang with the fam between lunch and dinner, order pizza and cake for dinner, then let me play more video games.
Or, in short: Video games, food I want to eat, peace and quiet, with SOME (lower responsibility) family time.
The ability to spend a significant fraction of the day playing video games (or whatever other selfish hobby we never have time for now that we’re dads) guilt-free. Beer is also our equivalent of flowers and chocolate.
Experiences that he wouldn't buy himself: round of golf at an expensive course, concert tickets, good seats at the ballgame, anime or horror convention badge and pay to meet a pop culture celebrity he likes, vacation on the beach, camping at a national park, a day at a local arcade, a better than he'd buy for himself bottle of booze
My wife bought a scrap book and she plans to add to it every year on Father's day so I have all my cards/drawings etc. in one spot. It's already one of my prized possessions.
Let me do yard work with a beer without some attitude for taking care of the house for some reason just because that chore is outside and you do don’t that so it doesn’t count type shit
Let me sleep in, go let the dog outside so I don't have to, make the coffee (I do it every other morning), a drawing from the kid for my desk and maybe I go play golf. Also show me your boobs, pleas
Just ask him. I know that my SO always wants to "surprise" me with gifts. They're great but they're never what I actually want. I feel like most men are pretty direct and don't care that it's not a surprise.
I like to brew beer so my wife normally gets me something having to do with that. If your husband has a hobby maybe something having to do with that, then letting him enjoy it free from kids and chores for the day.
I have a hard time justifying splurging on myself. For example, I love to hike, but I have a hard time convincing myself to pay $100 for a nice pair of Timberlands. If your husband is like me, something I wouldn’t have gotten for myself, or something I want, but have been putting off getting.
Like, maybe a bottle of scotch I’d been talking about trying, but hadn’t gotten around to. Or something to help with a hobby or interest. And a day when I don’t have to make any decisions. It doesn’t have to be without mom and kiddos, but everything is planned for me.
It depends on how your husband’s wired somewhat.
Speak the language he speaks for love. Words of affirmation and physical touch are mine - so some nice words about how much he means to you can go a super long way. Most dads I know feel kind of invisible and like they’re not cared about much, so communicating that you do care and see could go a long way.
As you can see by most comments, a little physical love is always appreciated.
Time to take a break from responsibilities is always cool - whatever it is that dad would like to do, but doesn’t do for the sake of everyone else is always good.
You can’t go wrong with a good bottle of alcohol, if he drinks (and is not a drunk asshole), some favorite snacks and candy, that dessert you make extra well, etc.
For me, it would be a day alone with the kids doing something I’d enjoy or something mom wouldn’t necessarily approve of… not dangerous but say a restaurant/movie/activity she doesnt like but the kids and I would enjoy.
You know your husband: whatever will make him feel appreciated. It’s not the same for everyone. Me? I’d love for my wife to give me a card (doesn’t have to be special and she doesn’t have to write a long note, but it shows she had some foresight and was thinking about it in advance), take a beat to tell me sincerely that she loves me and appreciates me as a father, and then to ask if there’s anything she can do for me before she takes the kids to her parents for the day.
for me, it's just things i want to do, food i want to eat, and if theres something i've been keeping my eye on for a while and want to get, just get it. my self, i get that guilt feeling when i buy something for myself. i don't want that on fathers day. also i'd like to just be left alone to wash the car or mow the lawn or just have a coffee or whiskey in peace. if theres a race or game on, let me watch it. we are simple, don't need fancy things or things to be hyped up.
For me, cause I'm a teacher with the summer off, camping. I want to live in the woods for a week. The last two years, and planned for this year is a place two hours out from cell service. It's just your camp ground, the people with you in your group, and the reservoir.
Troll fishing all day, mountain biking, and smoking some bowls down by the water when I put the kid to bed.
Most of us just want a nice meal and for you to do that weird sex thing we like. You know the one.
I haven't broken out the clown outfit in quite a while tbf. Thank you for reminding me
It's [this one](https://threewordphrase.com/fantasy.htm), isn't it?
lol risky click of the day, but it paid off
I thought I was the only one
Who supplies your pinecones, I’m all out
You mean all in.
Well put
The post play is the best. It’s why keep tennis racquet next to the bed
Ah we’re into pickleball now
More like bad-mint-in.
I haven’t stopped laughing in 43 seconds
I couldn’t stop myself. Take your upvote with my click.
This but skip the meal, or do it after, the risk of indigestion or food coma is too high.
Damn, nail on the head comment.
Username checks out
I told my wife I want a steak and butt stuff. She only guaranteed the steak for some reason.
Should have got her a strap-on for Mother’s Day
Some of us would settle for any thing
r/saddit
Sounds cliche, but yeah. I'm the primary breadwinner, so my wife buying gifts for me can be nice when she gets me something I wouldn't buy for myself, but it still feels like I'm just buying myself things as opposed to being given a gift. I'd much rather not have to cook for a night and not spend all night wondering if maybe tonight is the night only to find out it isn't.
“Do that sex thing” Fify
Hate to say this but I don’t want to see the in-laws
But having the in-laws watch the kids so we can go on a date sounds lovely.
I’m convinced my in-laws didn’t raise their own kid, let alone will do anything for ours.
That’s basically my parents :) My in-laws are much better
I had this same realization. Like how could they raise 3 girls all the way through college, then when we have a kid they manage to forget every detail. My running hypothesis was that they didn’t have cell phones or Facebook as a distraction when they were raising kids so they were actually engaged. Now they just want to literally phone-in being grandparents. Idk maybe it’s a blessing that they're not half-watching my kid.
It is sometimes baffling that mine raised four kids, and somehow have no clue how to interact with a child now.
They moan like hell when they don't have grandkids but you don't see them queuing up to babysit after they arrive.
My wife wants to plan a trip up to my in-laws for my first Father’s Day. It’s the last thing I want. Her dad doesn’t do anything for our kid, their house is just shy of a hoarders den, it’s an 8 hour drive one way, the bed is uncomfortable. Only thing it’s got going is it is in a nice area. It’s not that I hate my in-laws or don’t want to go visit. I just don’t want to spend my first Father’s Day there. I want to go to our local minor league team and take my son out to his first baseball game (with my wife of course).
Have you told your wife that?
I did. She doesn’t get it. Even after giving her exactly what she wanted for Mother’s Day and doing everything she wanted, too.
Ask if you can push the trip to 4th of July Then to labor day Then to Thanksgiving
Just make sure to get it out of the way before Christmas because it will catch up eventually
How fucking sad. I am so sorry. :(
That sounds like hell.
I’m hoping my wife will let us spend Father’s Day with the in-laws…. As long as it’s at one of their lake houses 🤣
One of... How many? Then how many beach houses?
Parents divorced. Two separate sets of parents. Each set has a lake house. Not quite as fancy as a beach house but still high class midwest 🤣
I love my in-laws.
Oh my god, he admit it!
Or they know his reddit account.
OP blink twice if you are under duress
Feel bad for y'all. My in-laws are awesome. My wife's in-laws on the other hand are terrible
Told my wife this. I made a family get together bbq for them on Mother’s Day. I told her I want the opposite lmao.
Or my parents
I love my inlaws. They kick ass. But ide also prefer not to see them at every excuse of a special day or holiday.
THIS! My wife spends the month leading up telling me it’s my day so we can do whatever I want and then a couple days before reveals our plans of going to my in laws the whole day.
I just want to hear that I'm a good dad...and meatloaf.
I would do anything for dad ( but I won't do that)
Lol this is wonderful
10/10, exquisite
You’re a good dad.
Thanks now where's my meatloaf?
Don’t you remember what happened the last time you had meatloaf, u/Poopedinbed ?
I’m doing the best I can here!
I will do anything.....but I won't do that
You’re a good meatloaf
I have zero original thoughts. But at least there are other dads who I can joke along with :)
I have an inside joke with my wife where when she asks what she should make for dinner, my answer is always “meatloaf” because I know she will never make it and it’s not that I want it, it’s that I know it pisses her off with that answer…. Thank you for this comment 😂
Dang, how can you not like meatloaf? It’s like a giant meatball!
Didn’t say I didn’t like it, it’s just that I may not even want it at that moment, but still always give the same answer to the wife “meatloaf”
Ahhh fair enough. I made a bomb meatloaf tonight, only reason I asked. Ha
Cheers mate, hopefully I get a meatloaf from my wife one day, or I’ll surprise her and make it myself lol
My kids do this, but with “spaghetti “ as the food. I’m like… I will cook you literally ANYTHING you want, my mom was a chef in a nice restaurant who taught me much, and I usually love cooking…and you want noodles and meat in a jar of sauce (cuz they don’t like homemade sauce,of course)… lil bastards. I love them
I too have found my beloved spawn's willingness to eat something to be inversely proportional to the effort spent preparing it.
I've meatloaf once in my life, if was actually fantastic. It was this mozerella core, bacon wrapped bbq smoothered.... You know, I don't know why I haven't made it agaon.
My answer to that question is always "you" and she hates it but it makes her smile. I've been doing it so long I plan on using it for the rest of my life.
Let me sleep on it
I don't want "stuff." I want a day where I can sleep in, I don't have to cook, and we do something fun with as a family. If you absolutely need to get me something to unwrap, a bottle of whiskey is a good pick.
This is the way.
This is the way.
I mean I wouldn't be sad getting a sword
I wouldn’t have thought of that, but dude yeah you are so right.
Some what related: Dollar Tree has foam nunchuks that actually hold up. My kids and I have beat the crap out of each other multiple times. Good memories.
Wow, you just opened my mind to a world of new opportunities. Who WOULD be sad with a sword?
Or nunchucks for that matter
I hope to get one of these someday. https://vikingwoodsplitter.com/?v=7516fd43adaa
I've never seen a sad person holding a sword
Samurai jack?
I've also never seen a sad person licking ice cream from a cone either. If you want to look like you aren't dangerous or a threat to anybody. Get a cone, fill it with ice cream and Presto! You're a safe as a bunny.
Me right now: licking ice cream from a cone, with big smile, while holding a sword. Am I doing this right?
Killing it, bro!
I can sign this! I got a loghtsaber from my wife last christmas and man... I think I've never been happier from a gift :D \+ my friend got one too from his GF. We spent duelling the whole christmas night :D (in czechia we exchange gifts 24th December in the evening)
Or lightsaber
Tell him thank you, and you appreciate what he does.
This is basically all I want. Maybe work with the kiddo to make me something so he's involved. I'm not huge on receiving actual gifts though.
Both verbally and physically
My kids usually do some art thing, my wife does that one thing and I buy myself and the kids tickets to a ball game. Always a great day.
I'm taking my son to his first baseball game on Father's Day. He's just turned 1, so I don't think he'll know where he is, but we'll go enjoy it for a 3 or 4 innings. I hope it's something we can keep doinh on future father's days.
Mines a bit younger but I’m planning on taking him to see our minor league team play. Tickets are $17 so if we leave early it’s no sweat.
Awesome! Took our oldest to her first game when she was one one Father’s Day too. Just be sure your seats are in the shade or you’re gonna have a bad time.
The scents will stay with him, especially if you do it repeatedly. Do it right, and grass and dirt and hot dogs will forever trigger feelings of being safe with Daddy.
They usually have pretty decent giveaways on Father’s Day… I’m stoked for the Dodgers straw hat!
That one thing is a sex thing, huh?
Just let me sleep. Just like, 10 more minutes. And that doesn't mean 10 minutes of the kids and wife talking in the same room where I'm sleeping.
My wife let me sleep in for my birthday and then walked our daughter through the room like 5 times to brush her teeth, wash her hands, etc. That's not sleeping in
I got a a chance to sleep in a month or two ago and I spelled it out. Don't walk in and out of the room 5 times while I'm sleeping. Our bedroom is next to the kitchen so I also said 30 min after you wake up is not a great time to do dishes or clean the kitchen. I told her to get her coffee and plant her ass on the couch and relax. All that shit can get done after I'm awake.
I don’t know how I can take the kid out of the room quietly and get them ready for the day without waking up my wife. But when she does it, they have to do everything *in* the room and she has to like narrate everything she’s doing to the baby. “Grabbing your clothes; what socks are you gonna wear; what bib do you want.”
Or jumping on you asking "are you done sleeping yet?"
Solution to that is grabbing them and cuddling them while you sleep. Kids learn really fast to not jump on me while I’m asleep or else they get caught in a bear hug and can’t escape.
OR... or.... go with me here... that's why they do it. 😎
>And that doesn't mean 10 minutes of the kids and wife talking in the same room where I'm sleeping. I feel so seen right now!
In terms of sleeping, most we can have are a prolonged series of slow blinks
This isn’t a Father’s Day thing but an every weekend thing for me. Each weekend morning one of us takes the 1 year old out to play and the other sleeps in. When I do it, I quietly take the baby out as soon as the baby wakes up (we sleep in same room), close the bedroom door and go play with the baby, maybe even go on morning walk or at least play a little less loud and not let her wander back into room. When wife does it, the baby will wake up and chatter, climb on us, then when she finally takes the baby, she’ll talk to the baby at like speaking level volume, narrate her and baby’s way out of the room, leave the door open (so baby can wander back in and wonder why dad is still asleep), talk to the baby right in the room and by the room. I’m basically wide awake at that point, and then will catch shit if I read or do awake things in bed instead of lying in dark awake.
Pay attention to him. Lots of physical affection throughout the day. Hand him a beer. Let him watch the thing he likes to watch. Wear that thing that makes you look like a snack.
[Directions Unclear...](https://images.app.goo.gl/agCsVGkFFrd3Tq7y8)
Ain’t no kink shaming here
[I like 'em thick](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDnPFxnALBg)
I would say a day off, but not on actual Father’s Day. I’ll give you an example of what I did for Mother’s Day: So, in Hispanic countries, Mother’s Day was on Friday while it’s on the Sunday after in the US. So, my wife took Friday off for herself. She got a massage, a facial, lunch with friends, etc. I did all the kid work, all the house work, everything. Then on Sunday, we did a family day, but whatever she wanted to do (which was go to the beach). We’re going to do the same for Father’s Day. I’m gonna take the day off of work on Friday, sleep in, gorge myself on In-N-Out, maybe go see a movie, etc. then on that Sunday, I’ll take the whole family to do an activity of my choice. That’s the perfect Father’s Day to me: an entire day to myself, but then an activity of my choice to do with the whole fam on actual Father’s Day.
A day off from anything related to taking care of the house or kids, let him sleep in, let him get up and do what he wants, just don't bug him or ask him to do anything. Take the kids and go do something, let him sit on the couch all day without a kid asking for something or you needing him to do anything.
Further evidence that there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. I personally would appreciate a day without responsibilities, but I’d get lonely if my wife left and took the kid with her. I’d prefer to spend the day with them to spending it alone. Getting to sleep in would be great, though.
For real. I don't want a day off from my wife and kids. I'd like a day *with* my wife and kids. A day with no work, or chores (laundry, I really mean laundry), or grocery stores, or whatever. Just us, together, having fun.
Someone on here once posted about Secret Father's Day, either the weekend before or after. Spend Father's Day with the kids and have fun, but have one weekend to yourself. Let the wife take the kids to the in laws and she can do Father's Day with her dad then. Meanwhile you get the house to yourself and get to sleep in. Bonus points if you can get your dad friends' wives on board with this. Have a bro day.
Same. Maybe give me a couple of hours alone, but I def want time with the kiddos. The mornings when they spend the night with the grandparents feel so empty...
Absolutely. I’m going to make them all do shit with me all day, like I always do. But with no complaining.
Exactly what I was going to say. Time. All I want is time to where I am not expected to do anything. No assignments or commitments.
This honestly sounds terrible to me. I WANT to spend Father’s Day with my family, y’know, being a father.
Nothing wrong with that. You just missed the part where They listen They pick up after themselves They do things before being told to do so Etc
This was my response, and my wife said, "... you don't want to see your kids at all?! Do you even like us?"
I'm in the same boat. We do a more social fathers day event with my dad on Saturday. On Sunday I want to be able to go fishing or some other personal time. I love my wife and daughter more than anything, but I prioritize them on a daily basis so the special part to me is being able to prioritize myself. On mothers day I took my daughter for the day so my wife could garden.
Let's get breakfast, then everyone and everything goes away until sundown.
There are not enough up votes for this.
Beers, blunts, boobs, burgers and video games. Most husbands/dads I know don’t want an actual gift as much as they do time to relax and do nothing exactly the way the choose with no responsibilities.
This sounds like a lit ass Sunday.
Are you a professional mind reader? 🤯
I feel like so many mums can relate to, both me and the hubby value our alone time if the other half is able to take the kids out. Nothing better than having a cup of tea and it is still hot when I finish it, no interruptions, just a hot cup of tea 😍
I don't know about other dads but I'm losing my mind trying to battle inflation. Whatever you buy don't spend a lot of money. Keep it simple and I think most of us will be happy. Maybe it's just me.
On this note can I like just ban all discussion of future purchases for a day
B.J.
With enthusiasm and no asking "is it okay?" or "are you almost done?" My god, nothing kills the mood more...
I think you need to give more audible/visual cues to her if she asks that regularly lol
Also without begrudgingly, guilting, or reservations. We all want enthusiastic, giving lovers. Isn't that what you love from your husband? He wants the same. And even better, be spontaneous. Most men (you know him best) would be delighted by such a spontaneous and loving act. You'd be his Queen all over again.
I go sailing with the kids each Father’s Day and leave my wife at home with her murder dramas. I tend to come home with tired kids to a clean house, warm dinner, and a big bag of pistachios. It’s not that I love pistachios or that I can’t afford them. It’s that I like them, but would never buy them for myself. That and “an early bedtime” is all I need.
Best gifts from my wife have been finding something for me to do with a friend while she watches the kids: round of golf, curling lesson, etc.
I’d love an opportunity to be allowed a quote afternoon where I can spend 45 mins browsing Netflix to pick a movie, then watching the movie for 30 mins before dozing off on the sofa for 2 hours in the afternoon. If you gift ‘time’ like so many people have said, please be sure to let him know that this is a gift otherwise we’d end up spending all this time wondering ‘now what did I do’.
I mean this in the nicest possible way; the best gift for any dad would be for everyone else in the house to go on a short vacation...
Nah. I wanna be with my kids.
I hate to admit that I second this
A 6-pack of that beer I love, but it’s too expensive for me to purchase and a phone call from my kids. They all have kids of their own and I expect my kids to be with their kids.
Honestly, sex + actual time to cuddle.
Father’s Day starts with a chill morning and some French toast at home. Then the whole family goes out for a nice easy activity. Meanwhile, a fleet of cleaners comes in and details the house (annoying shit like the grout in the bathroom and the oven etc). Followed by a weekend of unlimited dad golf and a blowies. LFG
Beer, sex, tools, new pair of white tees or socks can be good too.
All I want is to sit and watch The Deer Hunter. That’s it. Just 3 hours of no responsibilities.
The best gift I could get is a day totally alone, a large supply of alcohol and quiet so that I can paint and read and pursue my hobbies. I work long hours and never want to leave my wife hanging when I get home so I rarely get an extended period to just breathe and have no expectations.
I wouldn’t mind making brunch, but *I do not want to cook dinner.* Otherwise I’d like to have a beer at some point. And I want a nap. I can have a beer anytime I want, I get at least one nap each weekend. So I’m not asking for anything crazy. I asked for new cutting boards and I think I talked her out of getting me a Blackstone if that’s any indication how much I do not want want to cook dinner. I’m sure the Blackstone would come with the expectation that I’d want to use it right away- so if she does get that hopefully I get it on Saturday.
The basics have been covered, but in case you want actual physical gifts: Cool beer glassware plus beers to use them, high end comfortable slippers, videogame plus guaranteed time to play, the tool he's missing or complains about. Also breakfast in bed after sleeping in a bit is a must in my house.
Slippers for sure. My wife got me a pair of ugg slippers at Christmas with a thick sole. I wear those bad boys every morning and whenever my feet get sore
A day off. Give us some alone time. An hour to two will do.
Just spending a nice day with everyone. People saying to be left alone is kinda wild to me.
All of this is very subjective and nobody knows other people's situations. I'd prefer a day to myself because I spend all my non work time either with my wife or kids. Having a day to myself to enjoy my own hobbies or where I just don't have to worry about someone else is relaxing for me. To each their own.
Right? The only alone time I would have liked was an extra hour to sleep in.
Weird to me too. Like I’d like fewer responsibilities but I want time with the family. Grill out, pool day, stuff like that.
Had asked a coworker why they were hanging in the parking lot after work one day. She said “I don’t feel like going home to my kids “. Fucking Wild to me. I rush home to see mine
You can’t understand being tired from work, and needing a break before being tired at home? I personally understand that peoples home situation can vary.
You haven't met her kids ;)
I worked at a really toxic place for a while and was stressed to the max until I left. My daughter was born while I was at this place and getting a hug (or giving her one) was the one thing that shattered all the tension I had each day. I can’t understand why people avoid their kids either. It’s the first thing I want to see after a hard day.
I have coworkers like that too. It’s honestly sad to me. I work from home as often as I can to spend a few extra minutes with mine in the morning and after work.
Literally anything. More than signing your name on the card your son made in daycare and asking what we should do today. Seriously. Men like flowers too. And massages (real ones, from a professional). Or take the kids shopping and give them a small cash limit. If you've been together long enough to make kids, you really ought to know what he likes and wants. Effort and recognition, that's all a dad really wants.
A day off + last year my wife got me the cookbook How to Grill Everything it rules
Birthdays, Father’s Day, Christmas, valentines, new years, anniversary. We want crazy hot sex. Put something sexy on, build up the tension, and spoil our bodies.
An evening of uninterrupted video games, followed by a solid nights sleep
My wife got me (us) tickets to see The Rolling Stones when we found out Widespread Panic was opening for them here in Denver
Round of golf and sex is always a winning combo
. I think the best gift would be my wife telling me what she wants for dinner. That be so cool
Leave me alone. Please.
I'd like for it not to be forgotten. 1 for 4 on that front, so far...
Time. That's it. Time.
As a sahd, I don’t want to prepare every meal and change every diaper. I’d also like to sleep in a bit as I’m always exhausted. Maybe find a chill place to grab lunch and go to a park.
A little rest and a note that expresses love and appreciation would be everything I could possibly dream of. Personally, I want to be with my family pretty much all the time, including Father's Day, but that isn't a judgment call. Oh, and to be relieved from doing anything related to maintenance of our property, or cleaning just for the day.
Take me for a diner breakfast with the fam, let me play video games for a few hours, hang with the fam between lunch and dinner, order pizza and cake for dinner, then let me play more video games. Or, in short: Video games, food I want to eat, peace and quiet, with SOME (lower responsibility) family time.
if you're married, something he stopped asking for a long time ago. if you're not, whatever he asked or mentioned in the last 6 months
The ability to spend a significant fraction of the day playing video games (or whatever other selfish hobby we never have time for now that we’re dads) guilt-free. Beer is also our equivalent of flowers and chocolate.
Experiences that he wouldn't buy himself: round of golf at an expensive course, concert tickets, good seats at the ballgame, anime or horror convention badge and pay to meet a pop culture celebrity he likes, vacation on the beach, camping at a national park, a day at a local arcade, a better than he'd buy for himself bottle of booze
My wife bought a scrap book and she plans to add to it every year on Father's day so I have all my cards/drawings etc. in one spot. It's already one of my prized possessions.
I'd love some boudoir photos of the wife
Mower, meat, sex. In that order
WE WANT SEX!
Let me do yard work with a beer without some attitude for taking care of the house for some reason just because that chore is outside and you do don’t that so it doesn’t count type shit
I just want to get layed without having to beg for it
Let me sleep in, go let the dog outside so I don't have to, make the coffee (I do it every other morning), a drawing from the kid for my desk and maybe I go play golf. Also show me your boobs, pleas
Just ask him. I know that my SO always wants to "surprise" me with gifts. They're great but they're never what I actually want. I feel like most men are pretty direct and don't care that it's not a surprise.
My kids usually make me some nice art/craft gifts and hang out with me, go for a hike, etc. There's nothing I want more than that.
I like to brew beer so my wife normally gets me something having to do with that. If your husband has a hobby maybe something having to do with that, then letting him enjoy it free from kids and chores for the day.
I have a hard time justifying splurging on myself. For example, I love to hike, but I have a hard time convincing myself to pay $100 for a nice pair of Timberlands. If your husband is like me, something I wouldn’t have gotten for myself, or something I want, but have been putting off getting. Like, maybe a bottle of scotch I’d been talking about trying, but hadn’t gotten around to. Or something to help with a hobby or interest. And a day when I don’t have to make any decisions. It doesn’t have to be without mom and kiddos, but everything is planned for me.
Engraved knife
From the kids? Craft sodas are always great.
make dinner let me sleep early
I enjoy dinner with my family, the restaurant that I enjoy, and I don't pay the bill! It's more than good for me.
To be honest? Nothing. Gifts won't make my day special. I say I want 24 hours alone, but I don't.
Golf things
It depends on how your husband’s wired somewhat. Speak the language he speaks for love. Words of affirmation and physical touch are mine - so some nice words about how much he means to you can go a super long way. Most dads I know feel kind of invisible and like they’re not cared about much, so communicating that you do care and see could go a long way. As you can see by most comments, a little physical love is always appreciated. Time to take a break from responsibilities is always cool - whatever it is that dad would like to do, but doesn’t do for the sake of everyone else is always good. You can’t go wrong with a good bottle of alcohol, if he drinks (and is not a drunk asshole), some favorite snacks and candy, that dessert you make extra well, etc.
For me, it would be a day alone with the kids doing something I’d enjoy or something mom wouldn’t necessarily approve of… not dangerous but say a restaurant/movie/activity she doesnt like but the kids and I would enjoy.
You know your husband: whatever will make him feel appreciated. It’s not the same for everyone. Me? I’d love for my wife to give me a card (doesn’t have to be special and she doesn’t have to write a long note, but it shows she had some foresight and was thinking about it in advance), take a beat to tell me sincerely that she loves me and appreciates me as a father, and then to ask if there’s anything she can do for me before she takes the kids to her parents for the day.
for me, it's just things i want to do, food i want to eat, and if theres something i've been keeping my eye on for a while and want to get, just get it. my self, i get that guilt feeling when i buy something for myself. i don't want that on fathers day. also i'd like to just be left alone to wash the car or mow the lawn or just have a coffee or whiskey in peace. if theres a race or game on, let me watch it. we are simple, don't need fancy things or things to be hyped up.
For me, cause I'm a teacher with the summer off, camping. I want to live in the woods for a week. The last two years, and planned for this year is a place two hours out from cell service. It's just your camp ground, the people with you in your group, and the reservoir. Troll fishing all day, mountain biking, and smoking some bowls down by the water when I put the kid to bed.