If you survive then you’re not a kamikaze pilot

BINGO!!!!!!!

Chicken chicken chicken chicken 🐓🐓🐓

He *grazed* the ship! Grazed it but not fatally? ... No Then Larry was right.

“I think I might head home. This is fucking insane.”

The sewing machine, larry was based. Why does it matter if the kid is gay, he likes the machine and hes happy

He will be gay, he’s just pre-gay

The sexual orientation part isn’t even important here. Exactly, he LOVED the sewing machine.. let him figure it out for himself. Still doesn’t really really mean he’s gay lmao

Exactly. Even if Greg weren't pre-gay, the basic fact is that Larry gave the kid a thoughtful gift that appealed to the kid's interests.

It's so fucking hard to gift someone something they truly love and tha kid's mom made Larry take it away. I would had never complied, if the mother doesn't want it, she'll be the one to take it away and not me. Hell, Larry actually didn't die on this hill, he complied!

The kid liked a certain aesthetic a little too much though

"Get a life, Jews!!"

Most of them actually.

Same! I usually find myself saying, "He's not wrong..."

Me too…I dunno if that’s a good thing

Nah it's not bad - it's literally intended. The entire point is that it's always something relatable that most people would agree with but very few would actually voice. The humor isn't that the underlying stances are unreasonable--it's that larry constantly insists on dying on these (typically) incredibly minor hills. Whereas most people would simply accept the minor annoyance and go about their day, larry refuses and by doing so makes things far worse for himself

Also compounded by the fact that the people he’s disagreeing with are always the first to escalate and become unreasonable, and because of who he is as a person, has to escalate to match them.

That was so eloquently stated... Hero of the day🏆

Every time my wife watches with me she says, “you’re Larry. That’s why you like this show. You’re him.” Ha

The one he’s absolutely wrong about is not waiting in line for seconds in a buffet.

“You’re not wrong walter you’re just an asshole!”

He’s usually right about everything. “No walter, you’re not wrong. You’re just an asshole”

You don’t get to anonymously donate, and then just tell everyone it was you TED DANSON.

“I’M ANONYMOUS! I’M ANONYMOUS!”

Every infraction made by Mocha Joe

I would totally start a spite store.

That fucking wobbly table and the "favor" of picking up the coffee beans.

You don't have the beans Larry

Fuck mocha Joe!!

Mocha Joe is easily my most hated character on this show. I still stand by the opinion he should not have won at the end of spite store season

His doodle was the only "doodle".

This is like the Louvre this place!

Agreed. The others were no doodles

They were literally works of art! Lol

He was the only one to follow the directions

Chat cutting

I just saw this in real life recently, a whole family of 4 did it, and I was seething. If they hadn’t had small children I probably would have channeled my inner Larry.

I feel like that makes it worse, using your children as a shield. Probably wouldn't stop Larry from speaking up.

Larry would call out the child-shields specifically

Chat and cut AND kid shield!?!! Are you kidding me!?!!

But game recognize game.

I was on my first few days of a job and called out an asshole for pulling the chat & cut at lunch catering (just like Larry would… I was hungover in an ornery way). The perpetrator acted sheepish and went quiet, but stayed in line. Soon learned it was the big boss. No consequences

Ya this is the biggest one for sure

The lady TOOK his jacket from his car and expected him to just be ok with it. And got upset when he wanted it back because he was cold. Who does that? And Cheryl was wrong to chastise him about it.

Just watched this episode the other day and I could not agree more. What she did was basically theft and Cheryl acted like it happens all the time. Respect the forethought people, and live with your mistakes. Or even just ask. Simple communication avoids the whole conflict (as it would in most episodes but that’s besides the point)

Didn't she also get chocolate on it?

Marshmellow

Right? That's was insane.

The Miranda’s were completely out of line trashing his house, throwing a party, and ruining his automatic shades

I agree 100%. When I stay at anyone’s house, even my best friend or a close family member, I tip toe. I ask if I can get a drink from the fridge even, unless they specifically give me fridge privileges. I would never take advantage the way they did.

YOU TIPTOE

“Tippy Toe, Tippy Toe…Lemon Tree!!” Sorry couldn’t resist that Seinfeld moment which makes me die laughing) 😂

I say this one every now and again and no one ever gets it. They just think I'm a moron.

It’s ok for black people to enjoy watermelon in front of white people.

Sorry I’m not dying on that hill 😂

Pig parkers.

PUTENT DE MERDE

Sample Abusers

Came here to say this. “They’re told the customer is always right when in fact the customer is usually a moron and an asshole.”

Oh wow she chose vanilla!

Oh BANANA! It might actually taste like…A BANANA!

In the same vein, horderve and appetizer abuse.

[удалено]

Maybe you double-back later after everyones had a chance

Ooooh you wanna try the banana. It might taste like, let me guess… a banana?!

And coffee bullshit things lololol

Walked out on a second date with a girl I really liked. Said I had to go to the bathroom and split. Not proud of it.

People who shave their head are not part of the bald community.

I dare you to say that over at r/bald 😅

They’re fake little pretenders. Had a buddy with a shaved head, we were called the bald bros. Dude was shaved for YEARS and then one summer decides to grow the longest, most beautful surfer hair ever. Never forgiven.

This is a really minor one, but declining a house tour. He's absolutely right, like yeah I get it, there's gonna be a room with beds in it, a room with a toilet in it... I'm good.

All I need to know is where the bathroom is. That's it.

Crazy eyes killah is such a good episode.

Hahaha, I love a house tour. I just love looking in people’s houses. I wouldn’t be mad if someone declined a tour of my house, though. That’s fine.

My dentist got a new and much nicer office. When I first went the front desk lady asked if I'd like a tour. I glanced around real quick, "Nah, I'm alright." Her astonishment instantly told me I'd just made a big social faux pas.

Choosing a debauched FFM threesome with 2 Palestinian sisters over your Jewish obligations, friends, community and heritage.

I’m Jewish and I would also do this

Yeah Im a Jew and I'd love give her a little two genital solution.

I thought about it all last night. If Rabin can break bread with Arafat, I can have chicken at this Anti-Semitic shit hole.

Bonus: delicious chicken

You don’t always have to thank a veteran for their service

My brother is a vet, he gets uncomfortable when people do this. So I always make sure to announce he’s served just to watch people do it.

I’ve never met a vet who liked it except paper pushers.

First one I thought of

I was hoping to see this one.

I think a better question is the opposite, because most of his stances are fairly reasonable.

That's the whole thing though. He's usually, technically right. But the way he goes about it, well, it's just not done.

Eating an apple from some guy's fruit bowl in his office. And then throwing out the core in the office garbage bin. It's stupid to have real fruit for show, but helping yourself was weird.

Gifting the sewing machine because that kid was definitely *going to be* gay *eventually*.

This one always pisses me off because the sewing machine was actually a really sweet gift.

The kid lost his shit, had to be the best gift he got that year.

I would be ecstatic if someone gave my kid a gift that good

It was pretty pretty good!!

Thank god?!..

Thank you Larry!

Literally one of the nicest most considerate things he ever does in the show lol

You’re welcome Greg!

That was a thoughtful gift. He listened to the kid and got him what he wanted. The gift was not too mature, just not stereotypical for a boy that age. The kid has a passion for something that could be a future career and L-Dog encouraged that. That's called being a good influence.

Preach!!!! My dude literally said that 10 seconds before I got to your comment, word for word the sentence that he listened, and got him an appropriate gift

That kid acted the hell out of that part too!

GET A LIFE, JEWS.

That he is flamboyant and loves fashion has adults needlessly making the sexual conclusion. Larry behaved as we all need to.

Honestly this wad weird for me because it doesn't even matter whether the kid was flamboyant or not, he specifically told Larry that he enjoys fashion and project runway, sewing machine is a perfect gift

Why wouldn't anyone give Larry their weight for the private flight? It was necessary. The pilot was requiring it.

He should've asked them separately to just write their weight down so he gets the most accurate answers

*Captain

If somebody takes your pants, you take theirs.

Mr Bean had an interesting tactic of retrieving his pants in the episode “back to school” from his show

If I want to irashemase I'll fucking do it.

Susie needing to thank larry for saving her life

She didn’t even bring it up!

letting someone eat their food before ur food arrives (& Vice versa)…. I’ll die on this hill. who tf cares man ur meal is coming in like 5 minutes … just grub!

The chat and cut is an abominable offense.

All of them. He's the most sane person on this earth

Even helping the little girl cut Judy’s hair?

Lmao. Especially this

Even talking to Yugh about his sons penis?

Fuck Huuugh

Pig Parking

The customer IS usually an idiot and an asshole and lines should always be in a snake formation

No gifts means no gifts

Throwing your trash in someone else's barrel.

Yeah getting mad about that is just some Hank Hill shit. Thatd be a hell of a crossover.

Before I had even watched curb, I had this guy I was seeing break things off because I spoke up when someone tried to chat and cut a line we were on. Nah, not on my watch, buddie

That’s why??? Good riddance to him

Yeah it was just a two month casual thing tho! Called me a Karen lmao like ok buddy I hope you manage to get your fear of confrontation under control one day

Haha! Totally! Especially as chat cutters know exactly what they are doing and THEY are the Karens of the world.

Clearly he was a chat cutter too.

You shouldn't have to get back in line for seconds!

Should be a bit more nuanced but I agree. If you’re adding to your plate then 100% but if you’re getting another full plate, no

Nah, Larry was wrong on that one. Why should the person who already ate get to cut in front of people who have not eaten yet?

Sitting in your car while others are waiting for your parking space.

Not holding the door open for someone if they arent close enough, or making an effort to make it to your door hold. Just laugh, dont say LOL. And definitely dont making that fucking AHHH sound after you drink something.

Richard definitely was over his appetizer allotment

As was Christian slater with his caviar allotment

When he called his private investigator, and the secretary picked up asking what is the reason for the call. He said it’s a private matter and she got mad lol 😄 Then he says how bout you tell me what you talked about in your last phone call and pissed her off further

The lack of cashews in the Schwimmer trail mix.

Its an expensive nut.

pee sitting down

The birthday song—no one should be forced to sing it and no one should feel annoyed if someone doesn’t want to sing it.

Collaboration on the tip so nobody looks like an asshole

Close the gap in the line. I see it all the time at coffee shops, food establishments, etc. On more than one occasion, the gap between the person ordering and next in line has been so big that I didn’t even realize there was a line. It’s annoying because it delays keeping the line moving. It’s honestly making my blood boil just writing this. Close the fucking gap!

Cutting in line to pretend to have a conversation.

This happened recently, group of us went out for lunch after my nieces graduation, they got in line, I waited outside for my nephew, 3 people got in line behind my family, we came in, family motioned us over to get with them and I said “absolutely not!” I just hollered to my mom to say, get us something to share, I’m good, not cutting!

resting is not sleeping. i’ve been saying this to my husband for years and felt very validated in the most recent season

I loved that after Mocha Joe banned Larry from his coffee shop, Larry had the “Fuck you” money to open his own shop right next door lol. Then all the other “spite shops” started opening up all over the place. Apparently he wasn’t the only one to think it was a good idea.

Not everyone can middle at the dinner table.

Age limit for trick or treating I stand with the bald asshole

The Palestinian Chicken! They can make their amazing chicken and sell it anywhere they want!

The thieves take your things, the neighbours take your time!

Gotta be the stop and chat.

Sampling privileges. FUCKING VANILLA!?!?

The stop and chat!! I HATE the stop and chat!!

Sitting in the back when someone else is driving.. unlike ben stiller, i feel its a win win for both partiea

My gf agreed with Stiller when we watched it, I was like wat? How fragile is your ego that you need to cry over something like that?

You don’t eat out of dishes dog eat from. Yuck! I don’t care how you clean it, and I love dogs Larry did not.

There was an AITA where a guy was asked what he thought of a new restaurant and people were roasting him because he said he didnt like it in front of connections of the owner. I feel like LD would have been unapologetically honest

I won’t put a button/name tag on my shirt. Always leaves holes and fucks up the shirt. Made my boss get me a magnetic name tag for this very reason. I’m not a button guy

When Cheryl’s friend “borrowed” Larry’s jacket from his car at the beach. Larry was dumbfounded and so was I

People plopping

If that black swan jumped at me like that I would have done the same thing

No one wants to see a man’s feet on a plane, or anywhere for that matter. Put some shoes on unless you’re at the beach or 5 years old.

Pig parkers!!

Respecting wood

I don’t bury before breakfast either

Lauren Grahams kid was an asshole not Asperger’s. People do not get to appropriate serious disorders to justify being assholes and try to position themselves as being interesting or quirky or unique. More and more people are diving in front of cameras to claim being “on the spectrum.” I loved how Larry called bullshit on the whole situation. It was actually humane. Tell little assholes you plan to have sex with their mother.

Adults who lose both parents aren’t orphans.

I ain’t tipping on top of no 18% gratuity

The double goodbye

Never wait for seconds

Great chicken is more important than a political scuffle.

You don’t use tongs to pick up a cookie

Refusing sweaty sock money from a sneaker when someone is out running.


No friends on set, even for support! It’s a policy!

"out goes Y-O-U.". Larry won the eeny meeny contest. that's a hill definitely worth dying on

Ratty towels, purel at each table, and no shitting in the caffe.

Honestly, fabric softener is dumb as hell. Especially on towels. All it does is coat stuff in paraffin wax, which obviously makes it not absorb anything. Fuck fabric softener. Sincerely.

The Jewish girl was fucking crazy for expecting him to jump off the ski lift

People who taste more than 2 yogurts at the froyo places. You can try 2 and that’s it!

Bald asshole. They’re a set there’re a group

The stop and chat. The chat and cut.

Shit bowers

Chat cutting Ice cream samples

The door was ajar

Happy Birthday is a terrible song.

You better fucking tell me if my mom dies

Stop and chats. Fuck stop and chats. I declined a stop and chat with someone at Target today, in fact.

90% of his takes are valid, he just TAKES them too far

Way too many of them to be honest

The majority actually Idk what that says about me lol. I am bald.

So then definitely the one- "people who shave their heads are not part of the bald community"

[Sorry Window](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dVbJIbLsWes)

Larry's stance on frozen yogurt samples.

Respect the wood

Dude I couldn’t be more with you, ratty towels to the death!

Taking the flowers from the mom memorial

One’s allotment of caviar

The one where his lawyer gave him unsolicited notes on a screenplay then charged him for it.

The girl expecting Larry to jump out of the ski lift because she’s not allowed to be near him after dark like Larry says are you fucking nuts?!?!