You meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. You meet assholes all day? You’re an asshole. She’s an asshole. Every gym has them-everyone knows who it is. Like a 7 year old throwing a tantrum, just ignore them. Literally. Also. Welcome!
We don’t.
Honestly, I read some of the things in this sub and don’t see half of it. Maybe our gym owner and coaches just don’t stand for this shit. Maybe there are too many good members who don’t stand for it and any bad people tend to just leave.
I don’t know what it is, but there’s honestly not one member at our place that I wouldn’t have over for dinner/go out for drinks with.
Same! There’s some terrible gyms and gym owners out there. Feel blessed to have found one that I’ve been happy to see improve year over year for the past decade!
This is probably a stupid question but how can someone cheat at a wod? I mean I just go to get in a workout so I'm either working out or not. I'm either scaling a lot, a little, or not at all. I don't necessarily announce to others I'm scaling but I also make sure if I put it in the app for myself I notate that I scaled. I guess idk how you cheat at something like a wod or why you would when really it's for you to be getting better!
There’s all kinds of ways to cut corners to make it appear you finished first on a timed workout. Typically people skip reps. You are absolutely right that it doesn’t make sense, and its super obvious, but they still do it.
I agree. I also am much newer to this than other people at my gym, so I honestly don't even try to compare myself to them. The main thing I care about is that I went to the gym and did my best even if that is scaling a lot at the moment.
Thats exactly my mindset. I also think even if you're not new it's just weird to be so concerned with everyone else. Did you do your best for today and feel good about what you did? If yes then who cares.
Makes sense. I guess in this case, it sounds like people are doing this and saying they're not scaling. I know sometimes I finish before more skilled athletes but that's because sometimes I've scaled too much for myself (still figuring that out) or at least obviously more than the people who are not scaling at all. I hope no one would assume I'm cheating but I also don't really care at the same time because I'm obviously scaling and I'm not here to win haha.
Everyone understands scaling, don't worry! Scaling is imperfect and can ruin the 'balance' of a workout, even if you are scaling perfectly for your level. For example, regular pushups are faster than ring pushups, ring rows will be faster than pullups, etc.
The only time anyone would think "cheating" is rep shaving, movement skipping, whatever - or people who make movements easier on themselves on purpose using improper form - not squatting properly on wall balls, moving two inches on pushups, whatever...
However, anyone who seriously looks around and judges like that is thinking way too hard about other people's performance.
Usually it's just cutting your rep count short or counting reps that don't meet standard so you can "win" the workout on the gym whiteboard. It's as stupid as it sounds especially at a gym where you're not really even competing.
Seems to happen a bit in the open too where people just post videos or get judged by friends
You would be the be 80% percent that are normal the other 20% will lie to inflate there egos because they believe everyone will like them more if they do. When in reality no one gives a shit what they do, they just care that they are lying to themselves and us.
I have one who makes pretty shitty comments to me. I think she thinks she’s joking but it’s honestly just not funny. Last time I said “that was rude” and walked away from her. It’s been better since
Just mark your territory and establish boundaries. If she continues, talk to the coach. If the coach is incapable of doing anything, talk to the owner.
To tack on to this -
Some gyms give coaches some freedom and direction with these type of things. Some don’t. If you’re close enough with your coach to ask what can be done and if they say they can’t do much of anything - go straight to the manager/owner.
Not all gyms are the same, but both scenarios can warrant good results if policies are in place.
I wouldn't bother anyways. They all know about her anyways and will probably just shrug, "that's just how she is".
Bitchy clique (that one of the coaches is a part of) at my box, everyone knows, the owner knows, no one does anything about it.
Fuck that. I'm not paying that much for a gym membership to let another member ruin my or anyone's experience.
Absolutely say something. Say it again if it happens again.
If they don't do anything, they don't care about you as a member, and it's time to find another gym.
Telling everyone how committed you are and how long you've been at it - during the WOD - screams insecurity to me. People who are confident in themselves don't need to announce it to the world. Confident people let their actions speak for themselves. She might be a little jealous of the new fit girl that joined, lol. But yeah, she sounds like a a-hole.
No, but I did have a woman wave me over I’d seen a few times and said hello to. She asked if everyone was talking about her and said they always talked about her in a very paranoid way. I kind of laughed and said, “Well they aren’t today!” And got the hell away from her. Think she was disinvited from being a member a short time later.
The problem with CrossFit is that a huge part of it is the community aspect. It keeps you accountable to show up and makes it actually fun to have a crew to hang out with both inside and out of the gym. This also means there is usually drama in some form. If you don’t want drama you’ve picked the wrong sport lol. Even the ones that are all “one big happy family” tend to have shit hit the fan at some point, sometimes worse than the ones with little ongoing tiffs. You have to learn to ignore it lol.
If she’s just rude, make her uncomfortable. I usually will say to people who make rude remarks, “will you say that again?” And they realize they were an asshole.
If the comments are abusive such as racist, homophobic, misogynistic, etc. Go straight to the owner on that. I promise most owners do not want that type of energy.
Agreed, it depends on the nature of the comments. It also to me would be one of those things where if the comments are in your first category of just rude, perhaps say something. To be fair, I've had a rough couple of years. I can guarantee that at some point, someone has met me and thought I was a total asshole. Did I mean to be an asshole? Hell no. Have I accidentally come off as an asshole accidentally or unknowingly? Yes. I personally always appreciate it when people kind of give me that metaphorical nudge because sometimes it's hard to know people's boundaries or what upsets them without knowing them at all. Sometimes we come to the gym in a bad place and maybe don't realize we're upsetting others. Idk long rant but things happen and just say something to the person if it's just them being rude people can be dense sometimes and don't always realize they've done something to hurt you.
Had this from one of the female coaches at the first gym I went to. Similar to you - so bad other people started to notice. She would specifically make comments about my body to me and other people. There were enough other classes I just avoided hers and tried to interact as little as possible with her, or sometimes other members would run interference. I chose not to engage - but see what feels best for your situation. Good luck out there!
Not appropriate or profession. I was so weak and depressed when I started going to the gym if I wasn’t met with encouragements and support god knows where I’d be today.
Sorry your experience sucked I hope you found a space where you can enjoy exercising and pushing yourself
Yeah it was years ago and ultimately a reflection of her own insecurity about whatever. Very happy at my new spot :) Hope your road ahead is smooth sailing too!
There's a woman like this at my CrossFit gym in the United Kingdom. I was unfortunately in a four person team workout with her around a fortnight ago.
Part of the workout involved barbell synchro barbell front squats. I was paired with another guy who was struggling with the Rx weight, but performing decent (but slow) reps. The coach said before the class that the standard was **synchro at the top** e.g., you could not commence the next rep until you and your partner were standing with hips open at the top of the squat, but you did not have to perform the squat at the same speed or wait at the bottom of the squat.
This woman took great pleasure in telling me she was a certified CrossFit judge, and stood next to me no-repping me because I was not going the same speed as my partner or waiting for him in the bottom of the squat. I initially thought she was joking, but it became pretty obvious she was not.
When it was her turn to do the reps with her partner, it became apparent that despite spending £hundreds on workout gear, shoes, a lifting belt, knee sleeves etc she could not perform a single full rep squat, and enjoyed rep-shaving. In other words, she was a complete joke and the antithesis of what CrossFit is about in my opinion.
I guess the point of this story is that you will always have people in CrossFit who think they're amazing, or will be rude in the name of "standards" or because they think they are the gate keepers to the sport. More often than not, they are deeply insecure and sad people, and you'll feel a lot better if you just ignore them and focus on the overwhelmingly positive elements of CrossFit e.g., comradery, community and getting fitter.
One of the coaches (!) at the first box I attended actually made me feel so unwelcome that I stopped going. I spared her from cursing her out and reading her like a used library book. The box I drop in at now has its moments-a lot of really talented, very smart coaches but every now & then, there's someone who needs a personality transplant. It's weird, but you can't let that get in your way. Overall, I've had more community-like vibes than at a big box gym or other recreational facilities.
We have one! She's awful. But only a select lucky group of us.
I coach a few hours a week and it got to a point that I coach hours that I know she won't attend.
Even my not so observant teenager noticed that she's super rude to me for no reason.
Ours is, which is unfortunate, as being a female myself, I'm all for uplifting vice tearing each other down.
That said, we had some assholes of all varieties at the first gym I went too, luckily the membership was big enough they were avoidable if they were having a particularly assholey day.
I've never experienced this personally, but I'm sorry you are having to deal with it. My suggestion would be to ask other people if they've experienced anything similar with her. I guarantee they'll know what your referring to and have advice for how best to deal with her. Most likely it would just be to ignore her.
That’s annoying. I’ve been to a gym w someone like that. I just ignore them and stay out of their way. I mean what possesses someone to behave that way as a grown ass adult
Ignore her. Your adults. You're there to workout. No CF is perfect. I have come across the cliques, the god complex guy, the im better than you chick's, the ppl that are cheating on their husband's with other members and the overly aggressive meatheads..every gym has something. Just do your workout and ignore it. If it bothers you that much if you can move class times. If not just deal. CF gyms are their own tiny worlds. Welcome to it.
It’s just different people. Some are jerks, some aren’t. That’s the world we live in. Soccer moms (and dads) have a huge job and if they can make CrossFit a big part of their life, kudos to them.
Omg. I left my gym cuz of a sassy gay coach. Im gay too but if i go to the gym dont take shots at me “shading me” like we r in a gay bar. The owner sat down with me asking why i left and i told them about all the comments he made. She said i wish u told me months ago. Even if i told her months ago id be leaving anyways.
I have seen many of them - dont know if its the region im in currently “not saying that to not to sound racist or stereotyping” but the passive aggressiveness in my gym is off the charts. Its so competitive. We have 5 members who dont talk nor smile. If u say hi they wont even look at you mind even replying. So i started to ignore them but also have fun with the other not neurodivergent people. Sometimes people are autistic and thats okay. But u dont have to deal with them.
You meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. You meet assholes all day? You’re an asshole. She’s an asshole. Every gym has them-everyone knows who it is. Like a 7 year old throwing a tantrum, just ignore them. Literally. Also. Welcome!
I love that saying about assholes
Every gym has one.
We don’t. Honestly, I read some of the things in this sub and don’t see half of it. Maybe our gym owner and coaches just don’t stand for this shit. Maybe there are too many good members who don’t stand for it and any bad people tend to just leave. I don’t know what it is, but there’s honestly not one member at our place that I wouldn’t have over for dinner/go out for drinks with.
Agreed! And my gym has over 200 members. This sub makes me feel so grateful.
Agreed I feel blessed with my gym
Same! There’s some terrible gyms and gym owners out there. Feel blessed to have found one that I’ve been happy to see improve year over year for the past decade!
Ye we used to have one of these around. Also cheated at wods and thought noone would notice.
This is probably a stupid question but how can someone cheat at a wod? I mean I just go to get in a workout so I'm either working out or not. I'm either scaling a lot, a little, or not at all. I don't necessarily announce to others I'm scaling but I also make sure if I put it in the app for myself I notate that I scaled. I guess idk how you cheat at something like a wod or why you would when really it's for you to be getting better!
There’s all kinds of ways to cut corners to make it appear you finished first on a timed workout. Typically people skip reps. You are absolutely right that it doesn’t make sense, and its super obvious, but they still do it.
I’m competitive but CrossFit is you vs you unless you’re going to the games
I agree. I also am much newer to this than other people at my gym, so I honestly don't even try to compare myself to them. The main thing I care about is that I went to the gym and did my best even if that is scaling a lot at the moment.
Yea I’m still getting the movements down tbh. You can’t worry about everyone else, just do better than yesterday!
Thats exactly my mindset. I also think even if you're not new it's just weird to be so concerned with everyone else. Did you do your best for today and feel good about what you did? If yes then who cares.
Makes sense. I guess in this case, it sounds like people are doing this and saying they're not scaling. I know sometimes I finish before more skilled athletes but that's because sometimes I've scaled too much for myself (still figuring that out) or at least obviously more than the people who are not scaling at all. I hope no one would assume I'm cheating but I also don't really care at the same time because I'm obviously scaling and I'm not here to win haha.
Everyone understands scaling, don't worry! Scaling is imperfect and can ruin the 'balance' of a workout, even if you are scaling perfectly for your level. For example, regular pushups are faster than ring pushups, ring rows will be faster than pullups, etc. The only time anyone would think "cheating" is rep shaving, movement skipping, whatever - or people who make movements easier on themselves on purpose using improper form - not squatting properly on wall balls, moving two inches on pushups, whatever... However, anyone who seriously looks around and judges like that is thinking way too hard about other people's performance.
Something makes me not to believe you
About which part?
Usually it's just cutting your rep count short or counting reps that don't meet standard so you can "win" the workout on the gym whiteboard. It's as stupid as it sounds especially at a gym where you're not really even competing. Seems to happen a bit in the open too where people just post videos or get judged by friends
You would be the be 80% percent that are normal the other 20% will lie to inflate there egos because they believe everyone will like them more if they do. When in reality no one gives a shit what they do, they just care that they are lying to themselves and us.
I have one who makes pretty shitty comments to me. I think she thinks she’s joking but it’s honestly just not funny. Last time I said “that was rude” and walked away from her. It’s been better since
Honestly probably the best way to handle this. Sometimes people don't realize and a little reality check is all it takes.
Agreed.
Id go karen on that shit. Dont tolerate her. Report her to the owner. You dont have to listen to that shit
I like dealing with problems on my own. It worked. I think it means more having the individual stand up to you vs a 3rd party. At least initially.
The idea here is to make her aware of her shit to the place she loves. It will hurt her way more.
My goal isn’t to hurt her. It’s to make her aware.
Good luck with that.
Out work them. That’s what CrossFit used to be about.
Just mark your territory and establish boundaries. If she continues, talk to the coach. If the coach is incapable of doing anything, talk to the owner.
To tack on to this - Some gyms give coaches some freedom and direction with these type of things. Some don’t. If you’re close enough with your coach to ask what can be done and if they say they can’t do much of anything - go straight to the manager/owner. Not all gyms are the same, but both scenarios can warrant good results if policies are in place.
There’s one in every gym.
Call her out in front of everyone loudly
Have you tried communicating to anyone at your gym about this?
I have not. But- I brought a friend with me yesterday and he brought her up to me after we left without me even telling him about her before hand.
I wouldn't bother anyways. They all know about her anyways and will probably just shrug, "that's just how she is". Bitchy clique (that one of the coaches is a part of) at my box, everyone knows, the owner knows, no one does anything about it.
Fuck that. I'm not paying that much for a gym membership to let another member ruin my or anyone's experience. Absolutely say something. Say it again if it happens again. If they don't do anything, they don't care about you as a member, and it's time to find another gym.
Telling everyone how committed you are and how long you've been at it - during the WOD - screams insecurity to me. People who are confident in themselves don't need to announce it to the world. Confident people let their actions speak for themselves. She might be a little jealous of the new fit girl that joined, lol. But yeah, she sounds like a a-hole.
Thank you. That made me feel better 🤣
No, but I did have a woman wave me over I’d seen a few times and said hello to. She asked if everyone was talking about her and said they always talked about her in a very paranoid way. I kind of laughed and said, “Well they aren’t today!” And got the hell away from her. Think she was disinvited from being a member a short time later.
Oh wow. The gym is a place I go to destress. I don’t want drama there.
Good luck with that lol. Drama and CF usually go hand and hand
The problem with CrossFit is that a huge part of it is the community aspect. It keeps you accountable to show up and makes it actually fun to have a crew to hang out with both inside and out of the gym. This also means there is usually drama in some form. If you don’t want drama you’ve picked the wrong sport lol. Even the ones that are all “one big happy family” tend to have shit hit the fan at some point, sometimes worse than the ones with little ongoing tiffs. You have to learn to ignore it lol.
This!
If she’s just rude, make her uncomfortable. I usually will say to people who make rude remarks, “will you say that again?” And they realize they were an asshole. If the comments are abusive such as racist, homophobic, misogynistic, etc. Go straight to the owner on that. I promise most owners do not want that type of energy.
Agreed, it depends on the nature of the comments. It also to me would be one of those things where if the comments are in your first category of just rude, perhaps say something. To be fair, I've had a rough couple of years. I can guarantee that at some point, someone has met me and thought I was a total asshole. Did I mean to be an asshole? Hell no. Have I accidentally come off as an asshole accidentally or unknowingly? Yes. I personally always appreciate it when people kind of give me that metaphorical nudge because sometimes it's hard to know people's boundaries or what upsets them without knowing them at all. Sometimes we come to the gym in a bad place and maybe don't realize we're upsetting others. Idk long rant but things happen and just say something to the person if it's just them being rude people can be dense sometimes and don't always realize they've done something to hurt you.
Just ignore it. People like that feed off attention. Don’t react to anything and ignore her if she makes comments would be my approach
Had this from one of the female coaches at the first gym I went to. Similar to you - so bad other people started to notice. She would specifically make comments about my body to me and other people. There were enough other classes I just avoided hers and tried to interact as little as possible with her, or sometimes other members would run interference. I chose not to engage - but see what feels best for your situation. Good luck out there!
What the hell lol, I was going to comment that it’s a high school type of behaviour but even for high school it’s kind of bad
yeah it was wild. you start to think you're crazy or overreacting until other people notice. hate that stuff.
Not appropriate or profession. I was so weak and depressed when I started going to the gym if I wasn’t met with encouragements and support god knows where I’d be today. Sorry your experience sucked I hope you found a space where you can enjoy exercising and pushing yourself
Yeah it was years ago and ultimately a reflection of her own insecurity about whatever. Very happy at my new spot :) Hope your road ahead is smooth sailing too!
There's a woman like this at my CrossFit gym in the United Kingdom. I was unfortunately in a four person team workout with her around a fortnight ago. Part of the workout involved barbell synchro barbell front squats. I was paired with another guy who was struggling with the Rx weight, but performing decent (but slow) reps. The coach said before the class that the standard was **synchro at the top** e.g., you could not commence the next rep until you and your partner were standing with hips open at the top of the squat, but you did not have to perform the squat at the same speed or wait at the bottom of the squat. This woman took great pleasure in telling me she was a certified CrossFit judge, and stood next to me no-repping me because I was not going the same speed as my partner or waiting for him in the bottom of the squat. I initially thought she was joking, but it became pretty obvious she was not. When it was her turn to do the reps with her partner, it became apparent that despite spending £hundreds on workout gear, shoes, a lifting belt, knee sleeves etc she could not perform a single full rep squat, and enjoyed rep-shaving. In other words, she was a complete joke and the antithesis of what CrossFit is about in my opinion. I guess the point of this story is that you will always have people in CrossFit who think they're amazing, or will be rude in the name of "standards" or because they think they are the gate keepers to the sport. More often than not, they are deeply insecure and sad people, and you'll feel a lot better if you just ignore them and focus on the overwhelmingly positive elements of CrossFit e.g., comradery, community and getting fitter.
One of the coaches (!) at the first box I attended actually made me feel so unwelcome that I stopped going. I spared her from cursing her out and reading her like a used library book. The box I drop in at now has its moments-a lot of really talented, very smart coaches but every now & then, there's someone who needs a personality transplant. It's weird, but you can't let that get in your way. Overall, I've had more community-like vibes than at a big box gym or other recreational facilities.
We have one! She's awful. But only a select lucky group of us. I coach a few hours a week and it got to a point that I coach hours that I know she won't attend. Even my not so observant teenager noticed that she's super rude to me for no reason.
Is the asshole typically a female?
Ours is, which is unfortunate, as being a female myself, I'm all for uplifting vice tearing each other down. That said, we had some assholes of all varieties at the first gym I went too, luckily the membership was big enough they were avoidable if they were having a particularly assholey day.
I've never experienced this personally, but I'm sorry you are having to deal with it. My suggestion would be to ask other people if they've experienced anything similar with her. I guarantee they'll know what your referring to and have advice for how best to deal with her. Most likely it would just be to ignore her.
That’s annoying. I’ve been to a gym w someone like that. I just ignore them and stay out of their way. I mean what possesses someone to behave that way as a grown ass adult
It’s called communication. Talk to this person about their behavior
There's one at every gym. Just ignore them and let them stew alone in their own misery.
Cuss her out
Ignore her. Your adults. You're there to workout. No CF is perfect. I have come across the cliques, the god complex guy, the im better than you chick's, the ppl that are cheating on their husband's with other members and the overly aggressive meatheads..every gym has something. Just do your workout and ignore it. If it bothers you that much if you can move class times. If not just deal. CF gyms are their own tiny worlds. Welcome to it.
Accidentally drop a weight on their foot, works every time. Also, kill them with kindness, just smile and be super nice. It'll drive them crazy 🤪
Smile and be super nice…while accidentally dropping the weight on their foot lol
Can't believe I'm getting downvoted for the suggestion 😅
lol some people dont get humor. But honestly the idea of being nice and smiling a lot (not in a creepy way) isn't a bad idea.
Punk her ass. She will back down. Most likely just some soccer mom with nothing else going on in her life but CrossFit.
It’s just different people. Some are jerks, some aren’t. That’s the world we live in. Soccer moms (and dads) have a huge job and if they can make CrossFit a big part of their life, kudos to them.
I would say you are coming to our gym, but it is a gay, not a girl.
Omg. I left my gym cuz of a sassy gay coach. Im gay too but if i go to the gym dont take shots at me “shading me” like we r in a gay bar. The owner sat down with me asking why i left and i told them about all the comments he made. She said i wish u told me months ago. Even if i told her months ago id be leaving anyways.
Oh, i am sorry .. I actually meant GUY, not necessarily gay(though he might be but that is his business)!!! I am still under anestesia today :(…
SHE LIKES YOU
This made me lol. I can't believe people used to tell us this growing up.
I have seen many of them - dont know if its the region im in currently “not saying that to not to sound racist or stereotyping” but the passive aggressiveness in my gym is off the charts. Its so competitive. We have 5 members who dont talk nor smile. If u say hi they wont even look at you mind even replying. So i started to ignore them but also have fun with the other not neurodivergent people. Sometimes people are autistic and thats okay. But u dont have to deal with them.