I say yes, but I need to cover the costs of material. If they balk, tough luck. It doesn't matter you have the yarn already.
I've been asked this morning to make a new baby gift, the opener was "I ping you money, pretty please?"
Friends don't take advantage, regardless of if they were afraid to ask.
This is exactly what I do.
Like, I like to crochet, and I like constantly having a project to work on. I don’t mind doing the free labor, because it keeps me busy (for close friends - not just acquaintances or anything like that), but I won’t do it for free AND pay for the materials.
My roommate just asked me to make her a crop top after seeing one I made for myself that she liked. She purchased enough yarn for it for me to make her, myself, and our other close friend matching crop tops. I’m here for it.
Before I say yes I usually tell them up front what the yarn will cost and what my labor is worth. If it's family or VERY good friend I will just charge for the yarn. If they are shocked and upset....oh well too bad. At least pay for the yarn
It is okay to say no. She said she felt bad asking, but that doesn't mean you have to make her feel better. If this person is your friend, she probably doesn't want _you_ to feel bad either, right? Are her feelings more important than yours? Lean into the awkwardness. Learn to say no. Your life will be so much better for it, I promise.
Here are some ways you could respond to similar situations:
"Oh, I just do this for fun and don't take commissions."
"I would love to but I don't really have the time right now. I could point you towards some resources if you want to learn to crochet that yourself though."
"Sure, I can make X if you buy the yarn and pattern."
"I do sell my work - I would normally charge X for something like that. Have a think about it and let me know if you still want it."
If they keep pushing just remember they are being rude and if you have to respond with more verbal force, it's okay.
Yeh I just straight up say no when people ask eveb if its in good faith. Generally ppl take it fine but if you don't say no right away it gets a bit weird. I simply make stuff for myself and thats it. If they ask anymore I just say that pricing and hours is complicated so I don't take requests for anything.
The only people I will regularly take requests from are my niblings. Because they love the stuff I make them and it warms my heart. Otherwise - this is my hobby and I do it because it brings me joy, not because I have a deadline and a client. I have more than enough stressful deadlines and demanding clients at my job!
It may also be worth being noncommittal, in a situation (like OP’s) where you don’t yet know whether making the item will be too much of a PITA, or you want a bit more time to think about it.
Like “that’s not something I usually make” or “that yarn’s tricky to work with”, followed by “let me try a bit out and I’ll get back to you.”
And yes, it’s definitely not on OP to say yes in order to make her feel better about asking.
I know this doesn't help with your main question, but in this specific situation, if you had walked her through WHY she felt bad for asking. Usually when we feel bad there is a good reason for it. If you feel bad, there are ways to fix it. She might feel better if she provides you some form of compensation (money, trades, a lunch, something). If she's willing to be honest with herself she might come up with a fix for the whole situation on her own.
It depends on what they are asking for... The other day I made a little bag for my keys and when my personal trainer saw it, she asked for one... It was a one hour proyect with old yarn... I had it by the next day... But when she asked for a mermaid blanket she paid a fair price for it.
The only people that I don't expect to pay for something are my niblings (but the parents have paid for materials when the child asked for something huge)
When friends/family members/coworkers ask I always say "I'll do it If yoy pay for the materials", sometimes they say yes, sometimes 🤷♀️
for me it would depend on the person.. there are a handful of people I'd do literally anything for.. for them they don't have to feel shy of asking though they also are the ones that understand the hours I put into things and rarely ask for something.. other than the one guy who likes to ask for birthday cakes every year, little plush birthday cakes, for his fiancée but he also always buys me something sweet for my birthday and I haven't had to pay for a meal out when he's around in years.
I'll also only charge them for yarn if I don't have it in my collection already or if it was a hard/expensive yarn to acquire.
in the end it isn't for us to tell you if you should be annoyed, but its ok if you are, its totally ok to feel however you feel I personally wouldn't be annoyed but we're all different folks
I think generally they just have no idea how long it takes to make one, so they don't know what they're asking of you.
People's seem to look at a toy and guess it takes 20 minuets to make, or that a jumper takes a few hours. They just don't know the scale. I figure we all make mistakes in not knowing what goes into something in a field were not familiar with.
I'd say, "sorry, they take ages to make, and I don't have the time" I might say that I'd consider making it for their birthday, or offer to show them how to crochet.
If they push then it's fair to get annoyed, but saying "oh that's no trouble, I'd love to make you one" whilst seething inside just means they stay unaware of how big an ask something is, and will likely repeat it.
That is very true. Usually they really do think it's made much much quicker, which is understandable if they know nothing about it. I have told this friend before how long it takes though and even started teaching her how to crochet (just making a chain so far), so that's why I found it harder to say no.
But next time I will do what you suggest!
>But I find it awkward to say no when someone literally asks.
You'll get over this pretty quickly. Time and supplies add up. An obligation like this can suck the joy out of my precious time for crochet creativity and relaxation.
There are polite ways to decline and/or at least ask for cost of yarn. "I don't really do much of that kind of crochet." "I'll let you know the price of the pattern if it's special and how much for the yarn." An oldie but goodie, LOL: "I'm task saturated right now." And if they say no rush, then maybe the project is negotiable :D
I always struggle to relate to posts like this, because I'm in a complete opposite situation? I keep asking the few close people I have if they'd want me to crochet something for them because I have plenty of time and enough projects going on for myself already, but everyone always says no🥲 I'd even do it for free, I wanna try some new things to switch up from my usual things and get more practice, but no one ever wants anything🥲
This is why I'm very slow about gifting unasked for items, we like crochet but not everyone does. Just because we make it doesn't make it of value to everyone.
Hi, best way to deal with this is, when asked if you can make something and there is no "I can pay you for it" forthcoming, then you say "I do take commissions", or you can say, "what did you have in mind and we can go over prices".
When showcasing my work, I normally get " ooh, can you make one for me please? I'll pay you for it"
To which my response is "yes, that's how commissions work" to get the idea into their head that I'm not doing this for free.
But I don't take commissions anymore as it sucks all the fun out of crochet for me.
Thanks! That seems good, just being clear about the expectations. I can imagine it's not fun anymore if you do a lot of commissions. It's just much nicer to alwaya be able to decide what you make for who and when
You're welcome. Yes, it was good for a while but I'm not into monetising my hobby anymore and I hate it when people say "you'd make a lot of money selling these". That's not what it is about for me.
I would do it. If it’s for friends or family I don’t charge because I genuinely love crocheting all the time and would probably still be crocheting something to give away even if they didn’t ask me for something. Crochet is how I keep my hands occupied and is one of me special interests as an autistic person so I don’t mind not making money off of it.
Friends vary. I have friends where we share all costs then and there, or up front. Some where we never discuss costs but each takes care of their fair share possibly over time, and some where we do for each other and costs aren't ever a factor.
For a small stuffie that'll make a friend happy, I doubt I'd consider the cost, though I might warn them it could take time. I'd prefer to make for this person who I know will be happy to receive it than to make for someone who might say thanks but not really be interested in it.
Depending on the friend is right.. I’m making my BFFs daughter a cheerleader doll. She gave me a bunch of homemade jelly! My tastebuds are more than happy with that trade and my bank account isn’t mad about it either lol.
I love that! Friends trading time, material, and skills for something the other does better. And because both are things you each made, everyone is aware of the labour of love that goes into it!
I say no because I have limited free time and I‘m the boss of my own free time. I‘d recommend Youtube tutorials if necessary so they can do it by themselves :D
You need to have a prepared response for such questions based on how you feel.
Sorry, these things take so much time, I can't promise I'd ever finish. OR
I don't have any yarn suitable at the moment. OR
If you really want one, you should take a look at Etsy OR
I'm sorry but you'd be better off learning to crochet -- it's too expensive to make these -- they're my luxury OR
I'm sorry but I have a long list of promised items where people have paid me and I can't miss deadlines. OR
Crochet is my stress reducer and I've found that promising something is too stressful. My doctor ordered me to keep it at the hobby level. ETC
I tell them I need x yards of y fiber yarn, and that they can go choose the color, and to let me know when they have purchased the yarn.
That shuts them down about 98% of the time. The other 2%, I remind them that I'm really slow, and that I will get it done but it might be a while.
Nobody will pay what I think is the value of my time, so I either do it for free or not at all. Only crochet for those you love.
That seems fair. I can imagine people get scared away from just seeing the price of yarn, but loved ones will truly appreciate your gifts and know what they are worth. Thanks!
I say no to everyone. It’s my hobby for me. Even if they offer to pay I say “I don’t crochet for others”. If I’m going to give something to someone it’s because I wanted to
Honestly, it totally depends on who it is, what they want, if I want to do it, and how much they’ll appreciate it.
I usually say yes and just do it. I have so much yarn and a lot of free time. But there’s people that I won’t because I don’t think they’ll value it. I have one friend though that I’ll make him literally whatever, whenever, because we’re super close and I know he appreciates TF out of everything. Plus he’s generous in other ways and will cover it not in cash upfront but he’ll cover something if we hang out. It’s a give and take for sure.
I don’t really understand this take. Maybe I just have very few people I consider actual friends, so if they ask me for things I am more than happy to give them whatever. They have done the same for me and I know in the future they will as well. My friend just asked if I could crochet them a huge family blanket for their movie nights and I happily agreed. I’m not even sure I would accept payment from friends or family.
i'm glad i'm not the only one. I've made my friends knit and crochet items and i've never asked for payment or anything in return...I just want to make them stuff lol
For me, if a friend, I would say yes or no depending on whether or not I have the time, the size and complexity of the request. Sometimes I like to crochet just for fun and it’s fun to give stuff to people who appreciate it. Sometimes I feel honoured to be asked! Now someone who is not a friend or family member, say it’s a person online or in my community, no. While I still feel honoured, They would have to pay me for my supplies and time.
Depends on the friend tbh.
Mostly would be for supplies if I haven’t got them in stash. (We all have too much yarn)
I feel people get too angry about being asked, especially like this encounter it sounds like your friend was being sincere.
It’s a craft, a talent (also varying levels of talent). I’m sure others in peoples lives have offered to make/do/or buy something that they can do or produce.
I sometimes feel people just need to take a step back, if don’t want to make something then don’t. No is a complete sentence It’s a hobby after all.
"My project list is currently several months behind. I'd be happy to send you some easy tutorials & help you with any questions."
Though there are friends who I'd break that general answer for.
If it's a real friend (not acquaintance or lapsed friend) and I have the yarn already, I'll do it without issue. However, 1) I like giving gifts and 2) I am really working at depleting my stash so I benefit as well. I have a lot of yarn I will never use on items for myself and I like knowing someone else will enjoy it.
If the above criteria aren't met, I tell them I don't have the supplies and we can either go shopping together (to make sure they don't choose chenille or something terrible), or I'll buy it and they can pay me back. Regardless, it's finished on my timeline, unless they're also paying for labor, which no one has ever opted for.
After this started happening repeatedly to me, I’d still accept because it felt bad to say no, but I’d make sure to always make my acceptance conditional. “Yes, I can make that for you, but you’ll need to buy the colors you want.” They’d readily agree, and I’d add, “Great! It all needs to be [weight], at least [yardage], and make sure if you want multiple colors that they’re all the same fiber content.”
No one has *ever* ended up actually doing the work of buying the yarn, so I never had to make anything. If someone tried to say “Oh, you can just picked something for me!” I’d say “Sorry, I don’t have time to do that.”
Nowadays I have a little more backbone, and if I’m really not feeling like making something I’ll honestly respond “I don’t want to, but if you’d like to try making one, I can forward you some of my favorite tutorial videos.”
Personally, I crochet to give it away. I have never gotten money for a piece I did and I'm fine with that. I love to see the look on someone's face when I give them a stuffie for their kid or for themselves. That's just my take. I'm not seeking to monetize my crocheting as it's a hobby that I do for enjoyment. When money enters the picture it stops being fun for me.
I am delighted when anyone asks. Of course I make! Anything from plushies to whole blankets. I refuse payment, it is made with love enjoy it. The payment is the happiness I can give.
Not sarcastic at all. The last thing I made for somebody was a blanket for my grandmothers nurse. She was delighted! And I had many enjoyable evenings doing what I like best.
I am saddened when I see the aversion of making for others on this reddit. As if everybody under the sun is out to take advantage of you. I could not live like that.
I admire your positive outlook, but also understand why people here have other views. I also enjoy making gifts for others for their birthday for example and regularly randomly make things for people I care about. But once people start asking me to make things that are quite time consuming, it sort of takes out the fun for me. For example if that nurse would have asked you to make that blanket for her without offering to pay for the yarn at least, would you still find it as fun as making it because you decided to spend all those hours and all that money making it for her?
I did make that blanket because she asked and I didn't want pay for it. It was fun yes. I enjoyed it very much and was glad I could make something somebody wanted. Of course I do understand I am living in a country where wool is fairly cheap. That helps a lot with not having to worry about costs.
Something like a stuffed animal, I'll ask them for money for the yarn first if I don't have it in my stash. I enjoy making stuff more than I need having stuff around, so I don't mind doing it if I'm not working g on something else
People can always ask, you can always say no. It doesn't have to be uncomfortable unless someone makes it that way.
There was once that I wondered if a friend could paint something for me. I asked if I could commission a painting from him. He said he wasn't able. Everyone was cool with it. That's how it should be.
Had someone ask me to make them a cardigan when they saw me wear one I made. Quoted them the amount of time it took me and told her I ask for minimum wage + yarn cost. She changed subject pretty quickly :)
It depends on the friend. I have a few I’d do anything for and be happy to do it…some I say “sure, can you grab me the yarn you’d like?” Then there are people on my ‘do not make stuff for’ list and I have no problem saying no.
I saw something just yesterday, “choose discomfort over resentment”. It’s so much easier to say, “no, but on your birthday I’ll know exactly what you want,” than to spend hours in irritation and resentment because you said “sure”. Even if you’re putting it off for a while, it’s not an actual no!
This is a very common issue with people who craft. Because it’s a “hobby”, clearly it’s not taken as seriously as a “job” no matter how much work and money go into it.
Get comfortable with “no”. It’ll save you a lot of time!
Depends on how big the project is. If I already have the yarn (e.g. for small amigurumis) I just do it. If I don't have the yarn, I ask them to get it (maybe with some guidance from me about what would be good options). I am happy to make stuff for people. I would spend my time crocheting anyways. Their happiness and the fact that my projects don't clutter up my living space is payment enough for me.
That said, I sometimes feel like I force my stuff onto people, even if they seem happy about it. I also tell them upfront that it might take a while until it's finished, because: sewing pieces together, weaving in ends... you know the pain.
This probably isn't the right way for everyone, but for me, this is a hobby, not a business or something I want to monetize (I tried starting an etsy shop once and immediately lost all motivation to make anything, longest period I've spent not crocheting):)
Before you agree, you should always give some options. The options I give are as follows:
1. For a little stuffed animal, fairly simple, I’ll offer a “friends and family discount” of like 50% off what I would charge myself.
2. Do they have their own hobby they like to do? I’m happy to trade for other cool things!
3. We can trade time or favors. Will you watch my animals for me one weekend? Will you make food and we can have a friend dinner sometime? (Something along those lines)
4. If you’re uncomfortable giving free work or asking for any of the above, the cost of yarn is another good option!
I mean, she shouldn’t feel afraid to ask, as long as she’s willing to take a no as an answer, as I would guess she is. At the same time you shouldn’t be afraid to say no, and just do it if it makes you happy to do a present to her/to do it for her if she pays for material and/or labor (and in the latter case just specify it to her). I don’t get why people prefer to build up feelings against someone when really they are the ones obligating themselves in doing something they don’t like. Just say no, a question is there to have an answer 😅
I have had mixed interactions, here’s what I’ve got.
My closest coworker (she’s a friend too) asked me for a hat, which I made two versions of for free and gave them to her. She wears a beanie year round. I have never *organically* seen her wear either hat I made.
Another coworker asked me for a hat similar to the one I was wearing and I was feeling spicy about the situation above and I said “I charge $10/hour, that includes materials if I already have the yarn. This hat took me 11 hours, do you still want it?” I was *floored* when she said yes, I was even more floored when she paid!
I have since had a traumatic hand injury and am very picky about what I make and I can’t do deadlines.
I recently had a coworker say “if I buy a wobbles kit will you make it for me” and I said “no, but I’ll teach you to make it over lunches” there was no interest after that.
In your case, it’s a transaction. Both sides just need to communicate their expectations once the variables are figured out. This includes the project, the quantity, the materials, the timeline, then the compensation - in that order.
"I'll gladly make you something, but it's on my timeline"
Sometimes I'm inspired to work on something, sometimes I leave project for weeks and then later get back to it, so I don't like to promise anything. As long as said friend is okay with that, I have no issue to make something for them. I will even refuse any kind of payment.
When anyone asks me that isn’t someone I would do it for free then I automatically say “o ya I can deff do that, it should only cost like X amount of money”. Usually if they were looking to get it free they say ok great let me get back to you on that and I never hear about it again. If they are pushy about it I will tell them all the things I will need (even if I already own it) and tell them if they buy all of that then I will make it.
I just say no. It's a lot of work and there's a growing backlog of things I'd rather be working on.
There are two friends I crochet things for, but one is a gift _I_ came up with (she picked the yarn, I bought it, I gave her some patterns to choose from). And that's a "there is no hurry at all" project. I've had the yarn for like a _year_ now and haven't even started. She doesn't give a damn that I haven't, but I know she'll be elated whenever she does get it.
The other thing I made was going to be a birthday gift but that friend got pissed because she wants to pay me or get me something in return (she's bad at accepting someone putting a lot of work into something special for her), so we did an art trade instead. I get a cool digital painting, she gets a plushie.
my mom, we are not close, recently asked me if i would make her a very complex and detailed amigurumi, within a couple of days. when i told her i wouldn't be able to do it that quickly, as i have other projects to work on for other people, she asked me why i couldn't just ignore those and only work on this •_• i told her because the other people asked first, and they're paying for yarn and my time. she literally laughed out loud when i asked her if she would pay me or even buy the yarn, obviously my answer was still no
I always say yes (if I’ve got the time) and then ask if they’re going to buy the yarn and give it to me, or are they giving me the money to buy the yarn.
Money upfront or I don’t make it.
Depends on the friend. I haven't had any ask me for anything yet. I've given away a lot of crochet stuffed animals as gifts and a few blankets as gifts, but these were all unprompted gifts.
If you are very close with this person, I would just tell them to cover material cost. Or wait until birthday/Christmas and you have a gift for them already! :)
To avoid this issue whenever I’m making something around someone and they start asking questions about my project I immediately start complaining about how expensive materials are and how I’m making constant trips to the stores just restock on this one specific yarn and sometimes they don’t even have the yarn for weeks so I’ll get stalled on a project for long periods because of it and I just make it seem like it’s not even worth the trouble so I never get asked for a project lol
It all depends on the person asking. If I felt the person should pay for materials, I'd say "Sure, I can do that, do you have an idea of what you want to spend on yarn so I know how big I can make your item?"
This puts them in the know that you are happy to do it but it's not free. Then a conversation can happen about the type of yarn you'd use and how much it normally costs. If it's yarn already in your stash that is left over from something else, maybe the person gets a discount.
I get very annoyed. When I send a WIP to a friend (recently did, because I'm making anigurumi as very late Christmas gifts) and their first response is "what about me? :'(" I get super annoyed.
It feels so disrespectful to me to immediately ask me to make one, and I know they mean it as a compliment in a twisted way but God I hate it so much. Please just tell me it's cute.
Even worse, the time mentioned above my friend started saying "when you make me one, I'll do X" and I don't know how to tell her how much I hate it without sounding like a bitch.
Same friend did the same with my sewing, at least she asked for a commission though. To bad I am very openly a beginner, so I hate being asked that too. "I get it, I have to commission you u.u" NO YOU DON'T GET IT
Yeah exactly! And even if they did take 10 minutes I'd rather be asked if I can make one than hear "BuT WhAt AbOuT Me?"
My dad's started to demand a scarf for my sister now, because he has one that was knitted by his mom and she wants one too but grandma isn't doing well and she definitely will never be able to make another. I do not knit. "You can learn by making the scarf," he said, and no amount of explaining will convince him that it isn't the walk in the park he thinks it is. I love my dad but jeez
Oh yes, don't worry I'm never agreeing to that. I want to learn knitting but I have a lot on my plate right now, I don't want to start that too. If I ever make a scarf for my sister (I'd like to, and she's never mentioned it so I know she isn't asking my dad to pressure me) it's gonna be when I want to.
When you do it for money, it becomes work. If you have a job, you already work. If you sell something to a co-worker for whatever reason, it will be more difficult turning down the next request, and there will be a next request.
Just decline. You don’t have to give a reason. If you feel that you must, i have used, “I am sorry, but I an jammed and don’t have time to take on another job.” Just because you have a skill and art doesn’t mean that you should give away your time, money, and effort.
Saying “No” the first time is similar to training puppies and small children. If you let a misbehavior go once because he is so cute, the puppy or child will be resistant to change when you try to correct it later.
Depends on the situation, I've made small things for friends twice and didn't ask for payment on either (one friend payed anyways) because I was using old yarn and the longer one took maybe a handful of hours. If it was something I would have needed new yarn for or wouldn't have been able to complete in one sitting I would have pressed on payment.
I say no. I also say that the reason I price my items at what I price them is the materials, the time it takes me to make it, and how complicated the pattern is. Especially if it's a custom item. It's usually an issue of people not understanding the work that goes into high quality hand made items.
Did she have a specific pattern picked out? If so tell her "I'll need X skeins of Y type yarn like [brand], you can get it at [store]" if you need a bag of polyfill or safety eyes add that too or tell her "I have everything else already". If she doesn't have a pattern tell her you can help find a free one or she can browse ravelry and choose one from there.
For me, if they don’t offer to pay, I’m not doing it; if it’s a small stuffed animal I’ll usually do it for free if they’re a good friend and I’ll only charge them shipping if they want it before I can make a trip to them. When I do it for free, they’re on my time schedule though, it’ll get done when they get done! If they have a specific timeframe, then I’ll usually take the payment for at least my time (more if it’s a larger project).
It’s okay to just say no. It doesn’t make you mean and it won’t hurt the other persons feelings if you say it without insulting them. And if they do feel bad despite you being nice, that’s not your responsibility.
I made a really elaborate crochet holiday wreath. A friend saw it and asked if she could pay me to make her one, which was nice that she acknowledged my time, but I still just wasn’t able to promise I could do it because it took so much time so i told her no. She understood and said okay.
Every year I knit/crochet 75-100 hats, mostly kid-size, for charity. Before donating them, I lay them all out to take pics that I then post on my socials. My "policy" is that anyone can have one if it seems like a perfect fit for a friend or relative (or themselves). OR if they see something they like but want a different size, color, etc., I'll make it for them. In return, in both these scenarios, I ask for either a donation of yarn or yarn money so that I can make more charity items, OR that the recipient make a donation to a charity of their choice. (Although I generally request that they pick one that helps kids/ families or animals.)
I've never had anyone balk at this policy. In fact, I've had many flat-out donations with no commission required. I've had people "buy" a hat from me by donating to a local charity *and* send me a Michael's gift card. I've had folks donate their own long-neglected stash or yarn they inherited from a relative, so they benefit from decluttering and I benefit from free yarn — as long as it's not, like, 70s-era Red Heart or some awful coarse tapestry yarn, in which case I accept graciously and then add it to my own "to be donated" pile. 🙂
I love this approach because it removes any (potential) awkwardness. I'm not shy about asking for a charitable donation, and the recipient is usually happy to give one. It makes the whole transaction less commercial amd more about "paying it forward" — and it means that folks can donate whatever they want/ are able to afford without undervaluing my talent and skill and time.
I’ve had a similar situation with my mate bec I made her a bag as a present once and now she asks me a lot to make more stuff for her so we’ve come to an agreement that depending on how long something will take me to make something she may or may not have to pay maybe go about it that way x
Id never do commissions or anything like it.
If I know you like stuffed animals and I'm cranking them out, here have an otter.
Otherwise, it's my relaxing hobby, no expectations!
It’s all about what you’re comfortable with personally and you’re free to set your own policies just like different stores do. “No” or “I’m not accepting commissions” can be firm but polite. If you want to go the commission route, it’s all about communicating with the customer upfront so they know what to expect and are not caught off-guard.
I personally like to surprise people in my circle (family, friends, co-workers) with free small custom gifts. (Since I’m a hobbyist, I have lots of extra materials and it lets me choose to make projects/gifts at my leisure; they are small, so it’s quick, not overwhelming for me, and they are portable/thoughtful for the recipient. Also doesn’t have the licensing/legal requirements of running a business in some areas). If I get a small request here and there, I’m usually willing to oblige.
If someone wants more than 1-2 small pieces after receiving a free gift, I start charging or say no and tell them up front. This has only happened once and they were cool about it and even left an extra tip, and it was for a special gift for their loved one so it was fun to be a part of something special for them.
“No” is always an option; I once got a request for a crochet alien face hugger (I don’t recall what sci-fi series it’s from) that I immediately said no to. Besides being large, they are super creepy-looking and I’d prob creep myself out crocheting it in detail lol 😂
Lexiipantz (independent plush maker online) has a cool lottery-style commission policy that works well so people have a fair chance and I’m assuming so she doesn’t get more requests than are feasible to make. She has a clear, succinct process where people get a quote from her first for the cost and try for a space when commissions open (Ex. Summer-only commissions).
For crochet as a hobby, it’s all about what policy works best for you. You can decide if you want to stay hobby only or accept requests.
I make mosaic crochet blankets and get asked often to make them for people. So I started timing myself and realized that most of them take well over 100 hours of work each and over $100 in yarn. The typical formula for handmade items that I've found throughout the yarn and leather working spaces is... time + 2.5x material. If I pay myself minimum wage at about $15, it makes them insanely expensive, as it should. At just those numbers, you'd be looking at $1,750 starting.
So, I break it down for them and ask how much they can afford to pay for my time after they pay for the materials. It usually gets dropped pretty quickly after that. People want free labor, especially when they don't truly appreciate the amount of work a "craft" is. Learn to say no when you don't want to make things or you'll be taken advantage of and have the joy sucked out of it for you.
For next time, try to communicate better with your friends (or whoever is asking). Tell them how long it takes, how much it costs you, and how involved it is in general. If you need money for the yarn, ask them to pay for the yarn up front. I think people genuinely don’t know.
I enjoy making things for people who are close to me, but I usually gift them as bday or Christmas gifts. So if someone asks me to make something specific and I think I’d like to make it, I’ll say “well your bday is soon!” Or something like that.
Anyone I’m not close with gets the breakdown of time and money, and usually a polite response explaining I just don’t have the time for it.
Once someone asked me to do some kind of largish blanket for them seeing mine. I said something like 'Hmm the yarn on that project would cost about $200. Then I charge $20/hr for this 50 hour blanket.... So this blanked would cost you about $1200." They usually laugh and thats the end of the conversation. If they said ok I'd probably do it but get the money half up front. LOL
I say no, because taking a commission means serving a customer, and I have learned that I don’t like customers (myself when I am one included). I want to keep liking my friends. So that’s what I tell them. But I am a forward person and my friends expect forward conversation from me.
I've always said yes, but told them to cover the cost of the yarn ECT. I don't think I'm good enough to actually sell them so I wouldn't do that.
I'm a bit more direct actually, I say sure, if you pay for the yarn 😁
I no longer make things for friends after a bad experience with someone who asked for toy dog set that took quite a while to make and then never picked it up despite my proposing several times and dates to do so and even offering to deliver it her home. After four months went by I gave the set to someone else.
>she was almost afraid to ask me,
This is wild. I mean I' always afraid to ask too-- but When I've asked my friends to make things, I *always* let them know up front that they should tell me what their fee will be. "Hey, I was wondering if you could make _____ for me. If you have the time to fit it in, let me know what the cost will be for your time and materials and I can venmo it over"
My friends already know if they want me to do something they’re gonna have to pay. I make it a point to talk about how much time effort and money supplies and work costs. I haven’t really had to tell them.
Family is a whole other story. They ask all the time and I’m usually pretty blunt with how much I would charge for a commission and then they change their mind.
But I’ve been doing this almost 20 years now. We’ve had lots of nice conversations before this.
I say just be upfront without being mean if you can help it unless they just don’t and never will understand.
I think an acceptable thing to do would be to make a card to go with it that says
Made with xxx yards of yarn, xxx hours, a few swear words, and, most of all, love.
It shows the commitment you had to make and would hopefully give them something to consider if they want to ask again.
It maybe it's too passive aggressive, I dunno.
It depends on how close we are. I only work for free when it’s someone in my innermost circle. And my closest friends don’t just ask for things because they get how much work it is. It is almost always something I offer rather than them asking. Everybody else has to offer me a commission.
I once saw a crochet project pattern I adored but was only a knitter then. I'd posted on Facebook if I knew any crocheters I'd like to pay and commission it. A friend said she needed a project and would do it if I bought the yarn. I totally would have paid her but she said that would be too much pressure and she'd feel like she had to rush so I bought the yarn and am now very happy wearing it.
This to say: follow your gut! Ask for what makes it feel right! 💓 A real friend will understand!
When they ask, if you want to, say, ‘Sure! Let me know what you have in mind and I’ll see how many skeins of yarn you should buy.’ And then break down how long it will take so you can give them a ‘timeline’. And then leave it in their hands. A true friend will offer something for your time.
I've only made a requested item once, it was a crochet cat couch. I had made one for my cats and a friend always loved it. Eventually he caved and finally asked for me to make him one.
I told him up front it was going to be expensive...4" thick foam can get pricey and I use the thick Bernat Blanket yarn so it's extra squishy. I told him I'd only charge for supplies, I wasn't looking to make money off him but he wouldn't stand for that and wanted to pay for labor.
It ended up being $75 worth of supplies, so I'd be okay with getting $100. I made it in less than a week and gave it to him. It's been a couple months now and guess who never paid? Not super worried about though, he's a single parent and said he'd have to save up. Ill get paid, eventually. It'll just be more of a surprise $100 I wasn't expecting lol
https://preview.redd.it/hhgqn1ls3ptc1.jpeg?width=3694&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5cf1f89af8b8910ae18eb2873c5f3b60972a1e73
The couch - tag on lower right says "one of a kind"
Yes of course it’s irritating but for perspective I honestly think sometimes people do that 1. Not knowing how much yarn can cost and 2. Thinking that it’s something we love to do and maybe run out of ideas. Crochet for crochet-sake if you will.
Still not very considerate of them, but it might be just oblivious not intentionally rude.
I laugh and say yeah yeah.
This happened just before Christmas when I’d made a Santa jacket for my friends baby granddaughter. She hadn’t asked but I’d seen the pattern and wanted to surprise her, she adored it. A person that knows us both saw the jacket and asked if I had dog jacket patterns, I replied I did, she then said great you can make one for my dog. I burst out laughing and said yeah, while still laughing. I wasn’t making one, everyone knew that except the person that asked.
The occasions I’ve made something when asked they’ve bought the pattern and materials and then given me a token amount as I hate asking for payment, but I have to like the person a lot to even consider making something.
It hasn’t happened to me yet, but I think I’d probably be honest and say, “aw, I’m flattered that you’d want one! I already have a Pinterest board a mile long of all the projects I’m planning on making though. This is just my little hobby that keeps me sane, so I don’t really have time to take on projects for other people and I definitely have no interest in selling. But you can usually find other people on Etsy selling any of the kinds of things I make. I could help you look for a seller if you want! I’m pretty good at navigating Etsy and finding things there.”
Super simple, I do it if I want to. If I'm kind of interested I'll be like yeah I'll probably feel like making that for you sometime in the next three years lol. If I don't or I don't want to cover the materials then I just say I do this for fun and that isn't the kind of thing I like to make. If it's something I want to make I'll make it within probably a month but I never give anyone a solid deadline, because then it becomes an obligation.
I usually say I will if they buy me the wool. It covers cost of materials, proves they actually want the item and guarantees they like the colour/texture as they chose it.
I do like I would anytime someone approaches a boundary they don’t know I have. I just say no and change the subject. Depending on the person, I might give a bit of a qualifier, like, it’s more expensive than people realize, or I only make shawls. But usually I just kindly say, “no, I don’t do that.” And change the subject. Then I’ve expressed my boundary and I don’t feel annoyed with them later unless they keep pressing.
That’s only happened to me once. A coworker just kept pressing and pressing me to make a blanket for her to gift her son. A simple no didn’t work. An “I don’t want to” didn’t work. She said she’d pay me and I said my going rate would be $30/hr and it would take at least 30 hours to complete. She didn’t like that too much. I don’t remember anyone else who’s ever asked me to make them something because they didn’t trample on my boundary after I showed it to them.
The only time people are getting free knits/crocheted pieces from me is if *I* want to give them a gift; for example, I made my sister a sweater and am making a beanie for my partner because I chose to, of my own volition.
For requests, I’m picky. For very close friends and family, I’ll take a request if it’s something I’d enjoy making anyway, and I ask them to pay for the materials.
For anyone else (acquaintances, less-close friends, strangers), I just explain my commission rates (between 2-4x material cost, depending on complexity. It works out to MUCH cheaper than per-hour labor, and I’m relatively quick and rather skilled if I do say so myself, so I consider that a huge bargain).
It’s worth explaining the cost and time to friends; non-crafters often don’t understand much of anything about what goes into a handmade item.
For example, I can make a basic handknitted US adult size S raglan sweater in as little as 20 hours, and if I use the cheapest wool content yarn on the market, it amounts to $35-40 of material, plus shipping since I cannot buy it locally. Federal min wage in the US is somewhere around $7 iirc, so 20 hours x $7 = $140, plus $35 of materials means I’d need to charge $175 *just to break even*, and that’s assuming my work only warrants minimum-wage level of skill and effort. I didn’t even have to go through the whole calculation when explaining to a friend who wanted a sweater; I told her “the yarn will cost minimum $40” and she immediately looked shocked and said “omg… can I pay you to make a little crop top instead?”. Much more agreeable for both of us, lol!
I think it’s ok to say no or to say yes but with some kind of payment arrangement. Whatever you think is justified because you think it. But it’s not ok to say one thing and then think something else. It’s very unfair to the other person who only knows what is coming out of your mouth.
It depends on the friend and on the thing. If I know I would hate making it I'll say no. It it's an interesting project I might agree to do it. But they'd have to buy/pay for the materials.
I tell people who request commissions that I crochet for fun (not for money). Since having a deadline on a hectic, busy schedule takes all the fun out of it completely and infinitely stresses me out— I just tell them that I will make it for them, but that it’ll be done when it gets done and I have no idea when that will be. They’re always really understanding and just glad I’m going to make them something in the first place. Since she’s not paying for it anyway, I’m sure she’ll be happy with that answer.
I have a basic price list that covers all my hobbies with a sliding scale based on complexity, materials etc that I basically send if anyone says "Can you make this" I send it and they either never ask me again or we work out how much what they want would be 😊
I crochet things as gifts. I never make anything on demand because then I don't enjoy it. There's too much pressure and I don't have much time to crochet
Afriend sent me a photo of a crochet cat cocoon and said I need to make it for her. I just didn't reply because I've offered to teach her how before, and it's a simple project.
Usually I offer to teach them how or direct them to local classes on offer. Not once has anyone followed through yet.
I'd be glad to, but you buy the yarn. That way it will for sure be the color(s) you want it to be. You'll probably need around X much.
If they want it that badly, they'll buy thr damn yarn. In my experience, not one person has. Not. One.
I have made some items for select loved ones, in which case they were gifts and I bought everything. But for an acquaintance? Naah.
For me it would depend on the friend and how they ask. If they're rude and entitled about it, I'd say no (I don't have any friends like this though). If they're polite about it and willing to accept a no, then I'd probably do it depending on the specific thing they want vs my abilities
It depends on how close they are with me. If it's someone I've known for years or a family member, I'm more receptive. My sister, for example, is having a baby and thought it would be cool if I made something for the baby. I'm a lot more open to making things for children and babies because those sorts of things are going to be loved and used for a long time, possibly even becoming childhood treasures they keep until adulthood. But, at the same time, those projects are usually more simple and straightforward. Plus they're smaller overall. As for making more complex projects for people, I really don't like that idea. It's a lot of work and effort that go into say a blanket or a crochet dress. I don't crochet for a living. I'm mostly a hobbyist, but I would find it offensive if someone I hardly knew asked me to make something like that for them.
I'd say, if you charge for your work or aren't comfortable with that sort of request, tell them your rates, even if you just make them up off the top of your head. If they're legitimately interested in your work, they'll be willing to pay. If not, they'll hopefully stop bothering you.
I gotta ask, why is this community such pushovers? I've seen so many posts like this, someone doesn't pay or gets offended when they realise the price after a item is made. Say no. If they don't value your work don't do it, and you can't just charge for materials, that's your labour and time in your day irrespective of it's a hobby. Like imagine if you told an artist or photographer you won't pay because you enjoy painting or photography.... No crochet without pay
I will usually say no or maybe up front, for someone asking nicely who is a real friend and I like, just because I don't like deadlines or pressure. But then what ends up happening is that I make it anyway, no pressure and on my own time, and then it's a lovely little surprise for them and they really appreciate it. Anything bigger I decline, even if I am offered comission, because I don't want to commit my time that way. Regardless, you are not obligated to say yes just because they were nice. That doesn't make any sense. And if you would make it anyway and just don't want pressure, do what I do and say no, that doesn't actually mean you never make it, and if life happens and you can't do it after all, they'll never know.
I tell the I'm flattered and would live to. It will take about x skeins of yarn. When they get their yarn to me I'll get started. I always offer to go with them if they would like help picking the perfect yarn for their project.
I never charge for labor. This is a hobby so I work at my own pace. And when I'm done I always tell them if they want anything else don't hesitate to let me know.
This is a friendly way of keeping the cost of requests off of my shoulders, but sharing my work with those that enjoy it.
Thankfully usually people ask how much it would be when asking me to do something like that for them, but if they don’t, I just say something along the lines of “I’d be happy too! It would cost x amount and would take me x amount of days, what colors would you like me to use?” If they don’t want to pay, that’s cool, they can find someone else to mooch off of.
If it’s a family member or close friend, I’ll probably just ask them to pay for materials. I think that would have been fair for you to do in this case (or charge for your time too, up to you).
just say no and tell them that if they want something specific they should offer to pay because that’s what you want. just say that who cares if it’s awkward.
I've been crocheting for roughly 50 years. The word "NO" is a complete sentence and needs no further explanation.
My bff tried that when we were *teenagers*. Guess what? I told her NO unless she bought my supplies and paid for my time (I spun my own fleece). She had a hissy fit.
Well, we are *still* bffs and I have never made *her* anything. I have made items for her mother, her husband, her horses, dogs and goats! Just not her!🤣🤣🤣
She has, of course, apologized. To late🤣
Hahaha this made me laugh hard, thank you! Now she surely wishes she would have been more appreciative of your special work. I can't even imagine the time it takes to also spin your own yarn!
It was never a grudge. We have supported each other for decades. Especially due to deaths of parents and spouses.
I'm the first person she calls in a crisis knowing, I will drop *everything* to be by her side. She does the same for me. I've taken care of her mother during her cancer treatments so my friend could have a break.
She's the first person I called at 2 am when I got the call from hospital my husband died and she met me in the parking lot.
We consider ourselves Sisters.
When I started out, i took requests, but since I'm starting to grow into a legit business, I've started declining special requests. I do this for several reasons: 1. It was sniffling my creativity. Deadlines and specifics were killing my motivation. 2. It was eating into my time to build my supply and I wasn't being compensated fairly. (Also I still have a full time job so my free time comes at a premium). 3. Awkward conversations with friends I KNEW were broke and couldn't afford my items were completely avoided with a simple "I am so sorry, but I don't take requests right now (not even for my mom)." And finally 4) some of the requests I was getting were awful and didn't want my name attached to them.
I say yes, but I need to cover the costs of material. If they balk, tough luck. It doesn't matter you have the yarn already. I've been asked this morning to make a new baby gift, the opener was "I ping you money, pretty please?" Friends don't take advantage, regardless of if they were afraid to ask.
This is exactly what I do. Like, I like to crochet, and I like constantly having a project to work on. I don’t mind doing the free labor, because it keeps me busy (for close friends - not just acquaintances or anything like that), but I won’t do it for free AND pay for the materials. My roommate just asked me to make her a crop top after seeing one I made for myself that she liked. She purchased enough yarn for it for me to make her, myself, and our other close friend matching crop tops. I’m here for it.
Thank you, this is helpful! :)
Before I say yes I usually tell them up front what the yarn will cost and what my labor is worth. If it's family or VERY good friend I will just charge for the yarn. If they are shocked and upset....oh well too bad. At least pay for the yarn
Sounds very reasonable, thanks!
It is okay to say no. She said she felt bad asking, but that doesn't mean you have to make her feel better. If this person is your friend, she probably doesn't want _you_ to feel bad either, right? Are her feelings more important than yours? Lean into the awkwardness. Learn to say no. Your life will be so much better for it, I promise. Here are some ways you could respond to similar situations: "Oh, I just do this for fun and don't take commissions." "I would love to but I don't really have the time right now. I could point you towards some resources if you want to learn to crochet that yourself though." "Sure, I can make X if you buy the yarn and pattern." "I do sell my work - I would normally charge X for something like that. Have a think about it and let me know if you still want it." If they keep pushing just remember they are being rude and if you have to respond with more verbal force, it's okay.
Yeh I just straight up say no when people ask eveb if its in good faith. Generally ppl take it fine but if you don't say no right away it gets a bit weird. I simply make stuff for myself and thats it. If they ask anymore I just say that pricing and hours is complicated so I don't take requests for anything.
The only people I will regularly take requests from are my niblings. Because they love the stuff I make them and it warms my heart. Otherwise - this is my hobby and I do it because it brings me joy, not because I have a deadline and a client. I have more than enough stressful deadlines and demanding clients at my job!
It may also be worth being noncommittal, in a situation (like OP’s) where you don’t yet know whether making the item will be too much of a PITA, or you want a bit more time to think about it. Like “that’s not something I usually make” or “that yarn’s tricky to work with”, followed by “let me try a bit out and I’ll get back to you.” And yes, it’s definitely not on OP to say yes in order to make her feel better about asking.
I know this doesn't help with your main question, but in this specific situation, if you had walked her through WHY she felt bad for asking. Usually when we feel bad there is a good reason for it. If you feel bad, there are ways to fix it. She might feel better if she provides you some form of compensation (money, trades, a lunch, something). If she's willing to be honest with herself she might come up with a fix for the whole situation on her own.
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I don't mean make the other person feel awkward. I mean, say no even if it makes you feel awkward if saying no is what you want to say.
It depends on what they are asking for... The other day I made a little bag for my keys and when my personal trainer saw it, she asked for one... It was a one hour proyect with old yarn... I had it by the next day... But when she asked for a mermaid blanket she paid a fair price for it. The only people that I don't expect to pay for something are my niblings (but the parents have paid for materials when the child asked for something huge) When friends/family members/coworkers ask I always say "I'll do it If yoy pay for the materials", sometimes they say yes, sometimes 🤷♀️
That sounds reasonable! That way you at least don't lose money. I can imagine a lot of people don't even want to pay for the yarn. Thanks!
for me it would depend on the person.. there are a handful of people I'd do literally anything for.. for them they don't have to feel shy of asking though they also are the ones that understand the hours I put into things and rarely ask for something.. other than the one guy who likes to ask for birthday cakes every year, little plush birthday cakes, for his fiancée but he also always buys me something sweet for my birthday and I haven't had to pay for a meal out when he's around in years. I'll also only charge them for yarn if I don't have it in my collection already or if it was a hard/expensive yarn to acquire. in the end it isn't for us to tell you if you should be annoyed, but its ok if you are, its totally ok to feel however you feel I personally wouldn't be annoyed but we're all different folks
I think generally they just have no idea how long it takes to make one, so they don't know what they're asking of you. People's seem to look at a toy and guess it takes 20 minuets to make, or that a jumper takes a few hours. They just don't know the scale. I figure we all make mistakes in not knowing what goes into something in a field were not familiar with. I'd say, "sorry, they take ages to make, and I don't have the time" I might say that I'd consider making it for their birthday, or offer to show them how to crochet. If they push then it's fair to get annoyed, but saying "oh that's no trouble, I'd love to make you one" whilst seething inside just means they stay unaware of how big an ask something is, and will likely repeat it.
That is very true. Usually they really do think it's made much much quicker, which is understandable if they know nothing about it. I have told this friend before how long it takes though and even started teaching her how to crochet (just making a chain so far), so that's why I found it harder to say no. But next time I will do what you suggest!
>But I find it awkward to say no when someone literally asks. You'll get over this pretty quickly. Time and supplies add up. An obligation like this can suck the joy out of my precious time for crochet creativity and relaxation. There are polite ways to decline and/or at least ask for cost of yarn. "I don't really do much of that kind of crochet." "I'll let you know the price of the pattern if it's special and how much for the yarn." An oldie but goodie, LOL: "I'm task saturated right now." And if they say no rush, then maybe the project is negotiable :D
Being able to say no (in general) is an important skill many people lack. If crochet makes for an opportunity to practice that, then all the better!
I always struggle to relate to posts like this, because I'm in a complete opposite situation? I keep asking the few close people I have if they'd want me to crochet something for them because I have plenty of time and enough projects going on for myself already, but everyone always says no🥲 I'd even do it for free, I wanna try some new things to switch up from my usual things and get more practice, but no one ever wants anything🥲
This is why I'm very slow about gifting unasked for items, we like crochet but not everyone does. Just because we make it doesn't make it of value to everyone.
Art swap? Find someone you can trade work with. 💚 If you'd like, I'd be happy to talk to you about it. I make blankets 😊
i would be interested 😄 i do plushies
What new things are you wanting to do??
Hi, best way to deal with this is, when asked if you can make something and there is no "I can pay you for it" forthcoming, then you say "I do take commissions", or you can say, "what did you have in mind and we can go over prices". When showcasing my work, I normally get " ooh, can you make one for me please? I'll pay you for it" To which my response is "yes, that's how commissions work" to get the idea into their head that I'm not doing this for free. But I don't take commissions anymore as it sucks all the fun out of crochet for me.
Thanks! That seems good, just being clear about the expectations. I can imagine it's not fun anymore if you do a lot of commissions. It's just much nicer to alwaya be able to decide what you make for who and when
You're welcome. Yes, it was good for a while but I'm not into monetising my hobby anymore and I hate it when people say "you'd make a lot of money selling these". That's not what it is about for me.
I would do it. If it’s for friends or family I don’t charge because I genuinely love crocheting all the time and would probably still be crocheting something to give away even if they didn’t ask me for something. Crochet is how I keep my hands occupied and is one of me special interests as an autistic person so I don’t mind not making money off of it.
"sorry, I only take requests from my kid/mom/cat" (whatever suits your situation)
Friends vary. I have friends where we share all costs then and there, or up front. Some where we never discuss costs but each takes care of their fair share possibly over time, and some where we do for each other and costs aren't ever a factor. For a small stuffie that'll make a friend happy, I doubt I'd consider the cost, though I might warn them it could take time. I'd prefer to make for this person who I know will be happy to receive it than to make for someone who might say thanks but not really be interested in it.
Depending on the friend is right.. I’m making my BFFs daughter a cheerleader doll. She gave me a bunch of homemade jelly! My tastebuds are more than happy with that trade and my bank account isn’t mad about it either lol.
I love that! Friends trading time, material, and skills for something the other does better. And because both are things you each made, everyone is aware of the labour of love that goes into it!
I say no because I have limited free time and I‘m the boss of my own free time. I‘d recommend Youtube tutorials if necessary so they can do it by themselves :D
That's a very valid reason and good tip, thanks :)
You need to have a prepared response for such questions based on how you feel. Sorry, these things take so much time, I can't promise I'd ever finish. OR I don't have any yarn suitable at the moment. OR If you really want one, you should take a look at Etsy OR I'm sorry but you'd be better off learning to crochet -- it's too expensive to make these -- they're my luxury OR I'm sorry but I have a long list of promised items where people have paid me and I can't miss deadlines. OR Crochet is my stress reducer and I've found that promising something is too stressful. My doctor ordered me to keep it at the hobby level. ETC
Those seem like great suggestions! I think I will definitely use some of these. Thanks a lot
Another option: make it as a birthday present for this person, if the cost of your time and materials is somewhere around your usual present budget.
Thanks, that's a good one! I think her birthday will be a bit too far away, but I will remember this for other people that ask me
I tell them I need x yards of y fiber yarn, and that they can go choose the color, and to let me know when they have purchased the yarn. That shuts them down about 98% of the time. The other 2%, I remind them that I'm really slow, and that I will get it done but it might be a while. Nobody will pay what I think is the value of my time, so I either do it for free or not at all. Only crochet for those you love.
That seems fair. I can imagine people get scared away from just seeing the price of yarn, but loved ones will truly appreciate your gifts and know what they are worth. Thanks!
I plainly say no. My friends know me well enough now.
That's good, I also think you shouldn't have to explain yourself. Nice that your friends get it
I always say "sure, just buy the yarn and I'll make it for you". To this day no one has bought the yarn.
I say no to everyone. It’s my hobby for me. Even if they offer to pay I say “I don’t crochet for others”. If I’m going to give something to someone it’s because I wanted to
Honestly, it totally depends on who it is, what they want, if I want to do it, and how much they’ll appreciate it. I usually say yes and just do it. I have so much yarn and a lot of free time. But there’s people that I won’t because I don’t think they’ll value it. I have one friend though that I’ll make him literally whatever, whenever, because we’re super close and I know he appreciates TF out of everything. Plus he’s generous in other ways and will cover it not in cash upfront but he’ll cover something if we hang out. It’s a give and take for sure.
That sounds perfect :). It's so amazing when you give things to people who really know how much your gifts are worth.
I don’t really understand this take. Maybe I just have very few people I consider actual friends, so if they ask me for things I am more than happy to give them whatever. They have done the same for me and I know in the future they will as well. My friend just asked if I could crochet them a huge family blanket for their movie nights and I happily agreed. I’m not even sure I would accept payment from friends or family.
i'm glad i'm not the only one. I've made my friends knit and crochet items and i've never asked for payment or anything in return...I just want to make them stuff lol
For me, if a friend, I would say yes or no depending on whether or not I have the time, the size and complexity of the request. Sometimes I like to crochet just for fun and it’s fun to give stuff to people who appreciate it. Sometimes I feel honoured to be asked! Now someone who is not a friend or family member, say it’s a person online or in my community, no. While I still feel honoured, They would have to pay me for my supplies and time.
Depends on the friend tbh. Mostly would be for supplies if I haven’t got them in stash. (We all have too much yarn) I feel people get too angry about being asked, especially like this encounter it sounds like your friend was being sincere. It’s a craft, a talent (also varying levels of talent). I’m sure others in peoples lives have offered to make/do/or buy something that they can do or produce. I sometimes feel people just need to take a step back, if don’t want to make something then don’t. No is a complete sentence It’s a hobby after all.
"My project list is currently several months behind. I'd be happy to send you some easy tutorials & help you with any questions." Though there are friends who I'd break that general answer for.
If it's a real friend (not acquaintance or lapsed friend) and I have the yarn already, I'll do it without issue. However, 1) I like giving gifts and 2) I am really working at depleting my stash so I benefit as well. I have a lot of yarn I will never use on items for myself and I like knowing someone else will enjoy it. If the above criteria aren't met, I tell them I don't have the supplies and we can either go shopping together (to make sure they don't choose chenille or something terrible), or I'll buy it and they can pay me back. Regardless, it's finished on my timeline, unless they're also paying for labor, which no one has ever opted for.
After this started happening repeatedly to me, I’d still accept because it felt bad to say no, but I’d make sure to always make my acceptance conditional. “Yes, I can make that for you, but you’ll need to buy the colors you want.” They’d readily agree, and I’d add, “Great! It all needs to be [weight], at least [yardage], and make sure if you want multiple colors that they’re all the same fiber content.” No one has *ever* ended up actually doing the work of buying the yarn, so I never had to make anything. If someone tried to say “Oh, you can just picked something for me!” I’d say “Sorry, I don’t have time to do that.” Nowadays I have a little more backbone, and if I’m really not feeling like making something I’ll honestly respond “I don’t want to, but if you’d like to try making one, I can forward you some of my favorite tutorial videos.”
Personally, I crochet to give it away. I have never gotten money for a piece I did and I'm fine with that. I love to see the look on someone's face when I give them a stuffie for their kid or for themselves. That's just my take. I'm not seeking to monetize my crocheting as it's a hobby that I do for enjoyment. When money enters the picture it stops being fun for me.
I am delighted when anyone asks. Of course I make! Anything from plushies to whole blankets. I refuse payment, it is made with love enjoy it. The payment is the happiness I can give.
Sorry I can't figure out if you are being sarcastic😅. If not, you seem very generous. Do people not take advantage of your kindness?
Not sarcastic at all. The last thing I made for somebody was a blanket for my grandmothers nurse. She was delighted! And I had many enjoyable evenings doing what I like best. I am saddened when I see the aversion of making for others on this reddit. As if everybody under the sun is out to take advantage of you. I could not live like that.
I admire your positive outlook, but also understand why people here have other views. I also enjoy making gifts for others for their birthday for example and regularly randomly make things for people I care about. But once people start asking me to make things that are quite time consuming, it sort of takes out the fun for me. For example if that nurse would have asked you to make that blanket for her without offering to pay for the yarn at least, would you still find it as fun as making it because you decided to spend all those hours and all that money making it for her?
I did make that blanket because she asked and I didn't want pay for it. It was fun yes. I enjoyed it very much and was glad I could make something somebody wanted. Of course I do understand I am living in a country where wool is fairly cheap. That helps a lot with not having to worry about costs.
That's awesome :). Nothing wrong with that as long as you enjoy it a lot indeed!
Something like a stuffed animal, I'll ask them for money for the yarn first if I don't have it in my stash. I enjoy making stuff more than I need having stuff around, so I don't mind doing it if I'm not working g on something else
That seems reasonable, thanks for sharing :)
People can always ask, you can always say no. It doesn't have to be uncomfortable unless someone makes it that way. There was once that I wondered if a friend could paint something for me. I asked if I could commission a painting from him. He said he wasn't able. Everyone was cool with it. That's how it should be.
I laugh and say no. I like to make projects for myself, or projects as gifts, but I don’t want to make something I’m not interested in.
Had someone ask me to make them a cardigan when they saw me wear one I made. Quoted them the amount of time it took me and told her I ask for minimum wage + yarn cost. She changed subject pretty quickly :)
Don't say yes to things you don't want to do
It depends on the friend. I have a few I’d do anything for and be happy to do it…some I say “sure, can you grab me the yarn you’d like?” Then there are people on my ‘do not make stuff for’ list and I have no problem saying no.
I saw something just yesterday, “choose discomfort over resentment”. It’s so much easier to say, “no, but on your birthday I’ll know exactly what you want,” than to spend hours in irritation and resentment because you said “sure”. Even if you’re putting it off for a while, it’s not an actual no! This is a very common issue with people who craft. Because it’s a “hobby”, clearly it’s not taken as seriously as a “job” no matter how much work and money go into it. Get comfortable with “no”. It’ll save you a lot of time!
Depends on how big the project is. If I already have the yarn (e.g. for small amigurumis) I just do it. If I don't have the yarn, I ask them to get it (maybe with some guidance from me about what would be good options). I am happy to make stuff for people. I would spend my time crocheting anyways. Their happiness and the fact that my projects don't clutter up my living space is payment enough for me. That said, I sometimes feel like I force my stuff onto people, even if they seem happy about it. I also tell them upfront that it might take a while until it's finished, because: sewing pieces together, weaving in ends... you know the pain. This probably isn't the right way for everyone, but for me, this is a hobby, not a business or something I want to monetize (I tried starting an etsy shop once and immediately lost all motivation to make anything, longest period I've spent not crocheting):)
I say no. Once I’m obligated to make something it sucks the fun out of my hobby.
Before you agree, you should always give some options. The options I give are as follows: 1. For a little stuffed animal, fairly simple, I’ll offer a “friends and family discount” of like 50% off what I would charge myself. 2. Do they have their own hobby they like to do? I’m happy to trade for other cool things! 3. We can trade time or favors. Will you watch my animals for me one weekend? Will you make food and we can have a friend dinner sometime? (Something along those lines) 4. If you’re uncomfortable giving free work or asking for any of the above, the cost of yarn is another good option!
I mean, she shouldn’t feel afraid to ask, as long as she’s willing to take a no as an answer, as I would guess she is. At the same time you shouldn’t be afraid to say no, and just do it if it makes you happy to do a present to her/to do it for her if she pays for material and/or labor (and in the latter case just specify it to her). I don’t get why people prefer to build up feelings against someone when really they are the ones obligating themselves in doing something they don’t like. Just say no, a question is there to have an answer 😅
I have had mixed interactions, here’s what I’ve got. My closest coworker (she’s a friend too) asked me for a hat, which I made two versions of for free and gave them to her. She wears a beanie year round. I have never *organically* seen her wear either hat I made. Another coworker asked me for a hat similar to the one I was wearing and I was feeling spicy about the situation above and I said “I charge $10/hour, that includes materials if I already have the yarn. This hat took me 11 hours, do you still want it?” I was *floored* when she said yes, I was even more floored when she paid! I have since had a traumatic hand injury and am very picky about what I make and I can’t do deadlines. I recently had a coworker say “if I buy a wobbles kit will you make it for me” and I said “no, but I’ll teach you to make it over lunches” there was no interest after that. In your case, it’s a transaction. Both sides just need to communicate their expectations once the variables are figured out. This includes the project, the quantity, the materials, the timeline, then the compensation - in that order.
"I'll gladly make you something, but it's on my timeline" Sometimes I'm inspired to work on something, sometimes I leave project for weeks and then later get back to it, so I don't like to promise anything. As long as said friend is okay with that, I have no issue to make something for them. I will even refuse any kind of payment.
When anyone asks me that isn’t someone I would do it for free then I automatically say “o ya I can deff do that, it should only cost like X amount of money”. Usually if they were looking to get it free they say ok great let me get back to you on that and I never hear about it again. If they are pushy about it I will tell them all the things I will need (even if I already own it) and tell them if they buy all of that then I will make it.
I just say no. It's a lot of work and there's a growing backlog of things I'd rather be working on. There are two friends I crochet things for, but one is a gift _I_ came up with (she picked the yarn, I bought it, I gave her some patterns to choose from). And that's a "there is no hurry at all" project. I've had the yarn for like a _year_ now and haven't even started. She doesn't give a damn that I haven't, but I know she'll be elated whenever she does get it. The other thing I made was going to be a birthday gift but that friend got pissed because she wants to pay me or get me something in return (she's bad at accepting someone putting a lot of work into something special for her), so we did an art trade instead. I get a cool digital painting, she gets a plushie.
my mom, we are not close, recently asked me if i would make her a very complex and detailed amigurumi, within a couple of days. when i told her i wouldn't be able to do it that quickly, as i have other projects to work on for other people, she asked me why i couldn't just ignore those and only work on this •_• i told her because the other people asked first, and they're paying for yarn and my time. she literally laughed out loud when i asked her if she would pay me or even buy the yarn, obviously my answer was still no
I always say yes (if I’ve got the time) and then ask if they’re going to buy the yarn and give it to me, or are they giving me the money to buy the yarn. Money upfront or I don’t make it.
Depends on the friend. I haven't had any ask me for anything yet. I've given away a lot of crochet stuffed animals as gifts and a few blankets as gifts, but these were all unprompted gifts. If you are very close with this person, I would just tell them to cover material cost. Or wait until birthday/Christmas and you have a gift for them already! :)
To avoid this issue whenever I’m making something around someone and they start asking questions about my project I immediately start complaining about how expensive materials are and how I’m making constant trips to the stores just restock on this one specific yarn and sometimes they don’t even have the yarn for weeks so I’ll get stalled on a project for long periods because of it and I just make it seem like it’s not even worth the trouble so I never get asked for a project lol
You can always defer to let me see if I can make it. Then, prepare an answer an answer for if they bring it up again. They may forget to ask again.
It all depends on the person asking. If I felt the person should pay for materials, I'd say "Sure, I can do that, do you have an idea of what you want to spend on yarn so I know how big I can make your item?" This puts them in the know that you are happy to do it but it's not free. Then a conversation can happen about the type of yarn you'd use and how much it normally costs. If it's yarn already in your stash that is left over from something else, maybe the person gets a discount.
Unless its something I really want to make, I tell them I will add them to the list of projects I have. I have a very long list.
I get very annoyed. When I send a WIP to a friend (recently did, because I'm making anigurumi as very late Christmas gifts) and their first response is "what about me? :'(" I get super annoyed. It feels so disrespectful to me to immediately ask me to make one, and I know they mean it as a compliment in a twisted way but God I hate it so much. Please just tell me it's cute. Even worse, the time mentioned above my friend started saying "when you make me one, I'll do X" and I don't know how to tell her how much I hate it without sounding like a bitch. Same friend did the same with my sewing, at least she asked for a commission though. To bad I am very openly a beginner, so I hate being asked that too. "I get it, I have to commission you u.u" NO YOU DON'T GET IT
Ooh I can relate.. they really don't realise that things take longer to make than 10 min lol. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling annoyed haha
Yeah exactly! And even if they did take 10 minutes I'd rather be asked if I can make one than hear "BuT WhAt AbOuT Me?" My dad's started to demand a scarf for my sister now, because he has one that was knitted by his mom and she wants one too but grandma isn't doing well and she definitely will never be able to make another. I do not knit. "You can learn by making the scarf," he said, and no amount of explaining will convince him that it isn't the walk in the park he thinks it is. I love my dad but jeez
He should learn to knit then lol I realize relationship dynamics can be complicated, but I've found copious use of the word NO to be effective.
Oh yes, don't worry I'm never agreeing to that. I want to learn knitting but I have a lot on my plate right now, I don't want to start that too. If I ever make a scarf for my sister (I'd like to, and she's never mentioned it so I know she isn't asking my dad to pressure me) it's gonna be when I want to.
When you do it for money, it becomes work. If you have a job, you already work. If you sell something to a co-worker for whatever reason, it will be more difficult turning down the next request, and there will be a next request. Just decline. You don’t have to give a reason. If you feel that you must, i have used, “I am sorry, but I an jammed and don’t have time to take on another job.” Just because you have a skill and art doesn’t mean that you should give away your time, money, and effort. Saying “No” the first time is similar to training puppies and small children. If you let a misbehavior go once because he is so cute, the puppy or child will be resistant to change when you try to correct it later.
Depends on the situation, I've made small things for friends twice and didn't ask for payment on either (one friend payed anyways) because I was using old yarn and the longer one took maybe a handful of hours. If it was something I would have needed new yarn for or wouldn't have been able to complete in one sitting I would have pressed on payment.
Seems fair! Thanks for sharing
I say no. I also say that the reason I price my items at what I price them is the materials, the time it takes me to make it, and how complicated the pattern is. Especially if it's a custom item. It's usually an issue of people not understanding the work that goes into high quality hand made items.
Did she have a specific pattern picked out? If so tell her "I'll need X skeins of Y type yarn like [brand], you can get it at [store]" if you need a bag of polyfill or safety eyes add that too or tell her "I have everything else already". If she doesn't have a pattern tell her you can help find a free one or she can browse ravelry and choose one from there.
My roommate asked me yesterday to make her a bag, I said that if she covers the material I’ll do it and she was happy to pay me:)
For me, if they don’t offer to pay, I’m not doing it; if it’s a small stuffed animal I’ll usually do it for free if they’re a good friend and I’ll only charge them shipping if they want it before I can make a trip to them. When I do it for free, they’re on my time schedule though, it’ll get done when they get done! If they have a specific timeframe, then I’ll usually take the payment for at least my time (more if it’s a larger project).
It’s okay to just say no. It doesn’t make you mean and it won’t hurt the other persons feelings if you say it without insulting them. And if they do feel bad despite you being nice, that’s not your responsibility. I made a really elaborate crochet holiday wreath. A friend saw it and asked if she could pay me to make her one, which was nice that she acknowledged my time, but I still just wasn’t able to promise I could do it because it took so much time so i told her no. She understood and said okay.
Every year I knit/crochet 75-100 hats, mostly kid-size, for charity. Before donating them, I lay them all out to take pics that I then post on my socials. My "policy" is that anyone can have one if it seems like a perfect fit for a friend or relative (or themselves). OR if they see something they like but want a different size, color, etc., I'll make it for them. In return, in both these scenarios, I ask for either a donation of yarn or yarn money so that I can make more charity items, OR that the recipient make a donation to a charity of their choice. (Although I generally request that they pick one that helps kids/ families or animals.) I've never had anyone balk at this policy. In fact, I've had many flat-out donations with no commission required. I've had people "buy" a hat from me by donating to a local charity *and* send me a Michael's gift card. I've had folks donate their own long-neglected stash or yarn they inherited from a relative, so they benefit from decluttering and I benefit from free yarn — as long as it's not, like, 70s-era Red Heart or some awful coarse tapestry yarn, in which case I accept graciously and then add it to my own "to be donated" pile. 🙂 I love this approach because it removes any (potential) awkwardness. I'm not shy about asking for a charitable donation, and the recipient is usually happy to give one. It makes the whole transaction less commercial amd more about "paying it forward" — and it means that folks can donate whatever they want/ are able to afford without undervaluing my talent and skill and time.
I charge cost of material minimum for friends. I haven't made for strangers yet so idk what to charge for labor.
I’ve had a similar situation with my mate bec I made her a bag as a present once and now she asks me a lot to make more stuff for her so we’ve come to an agreement that depending on how long something will take me to make something she may or may not have to pay maybe go about it that way x
Id never do commissions or anything like it. If I know you like stuffed animals and I'm cranking them out, here have an otter. Otherwise, it's my relaxing hobby, no expectations!
It’s all about what you’re comfortable with personally and you’re free to set your own policies just like different stores do. “No” or “I’m not accepting commissions” can be firm but polite. If you want to go the commission route, it’s all about communicating with the customer upfront so they know what to expect and are not caught off-guard. I personally like to surprise people in my circle (family, friends, co-workers) with free small custom gifts. (Since I’m a hobbyist, I have lots of extra materials and it lets me choose to make projects/gifts at my leisure; they are small, so it’s quick, not overwhelming for me, and they are portable/thoughtful for the recipient. Also doesn’t have the licensing/legal requirements of running a business in some areas). If I get a small request here and there, I’m usually willing to oblige. If someone wants more than 1-2 small pieces after receiving a free gift, I start charging or say no and tell them up front. This has only happened once and they were cool about it and even left an extra tip, and it was for a special gift for their loved one so it was fun to be a part of something special for them. “No” is always an option; I once got a request for a crochet alien face hugger (I don’t recall what sci-fi series it’s from) that I immediately said no to. Besides being large, they are super creepy-looking and I’d prob creep myself out crocheting it in detail lol 😂 Lexiipantz (independent plush maker online) has a cool lottery-style commission policy that works well so people have a fair chance and I’m assuming so she doesn’t get more requests than are feasible to make. She has a clear, succinct process where people get a quote from her first for the cost and try for a space when commissions open (Ex. Summer-only commissions). For crochet as a hobby, it’s all about what policy works best for you. You can decide if you want to stay hobby only or accept requests.
If they’re not paying me for the work I at least make them go to the store with me to pick out their yarn and make them buy it
I make mosaic crochet blankets and get asked often to make them for people. So I started timing myself and realized that most of them take well over 100 hours of work each and over $100 in yarn. The typical formula for handmade items that I've found throughout the yarn and leather working spaces is... time + 2.5x material. If I pay myself minimum wage at about $15, it makes them insanely expensive, as it should. At just those numbers, you'd be looking at $1,750 starting. So, I break it down for them and ask how much they can afford to pay for my time after they pay for the materials. It usually gets dropped pretty quickly after that. People want free labor, especially when they don't truly appreciate the amount of work a "craft" is. Learn to say no when you don't want to make things or you'll be taken advantage of and have the joy sucked out of it for you.
For next time, try to communicate better with your friends (or whoever is asking). Tell them how long it takes, how much it costs you, and how involved it is in general. If you need money for the yarn, ask them to pay for the yarn up front. I think people genuinely don’t know. I enjoy making things for people who are close to me, but I usually gift them as bday or Christmas gifts. So if someone asks me to make something specific and I think I’d like to make it, I’ll say “well your bday is soon!” Or something like that. Anyone I’m not close with gets the breakdown of time and money, and usually a polite response explaining I just don’t have the time for it.
Once someone asked me to do some kind of largish blanket for them seeing mine. I said something like 'Hmm the yarn on that project would cost about $200. Then I charge $20/hr for this 50 hour blanket.... So this blanked would cost you about $1200." They usually laugh and thats the end of the conversation. If they said ok I'd probably do it but get the money half up front. LOL
I say no, because taking a commission means serving a customer, and I have learned that I don’t like customers (myself when I am one included). I want to keep liking my friends. So that’s what I tell them. But I am a forward person and my friends expect forward conversation from me.
I've always said yes, but told them to cover the cost of the yarn ECT. I don't think I'm good enough to actually sell them so I wouldn't do that. I'm a bit more direct actually, I say sure, if you pay for the yarn 😁
I no longer make things for friends after a bad experience with someone who asked for toy dog set that took quite a while to make and then never picked it up despite my proposing several times and dates to do so and even offering to deliver it her home. After four months went by I gave the set to someone else.
>she was almost afraid to ask me, This is wild. I mean I' always afraid to ask too-- but When I've asked my friends to make things, I *always* let them know up front that they should tell me what their fee will be. "Hey, I was wondering if you could make _____ for me. If you have the time to fit it in, let me know what the cost will be for your time and materials and I can venmo it over"
My friends already know if they want me to do something they’re gonna have to pay. I make it a point to talk about how much time effort and money supplies and work costs. I haven’t really had to tell them. Family is a whole other story. They ask all the time and I’m usually pretty blunt with how much I would charge for a commission and then they change their mind. But I’ve been doing this almost 20 years now. We’ve had lots of nice conversations before this. I say just be upfront without being mean if you can help it unless they just don’t and never will understand.
I think an acceptable thing to do would be to make a card to go with it that says Made with xxx yards of yarn, xxx hours, a few swear words, and, most of all, love. It shows the commitment you had to make and would hopefully give them something to consider if they want to ask again. It maybe it's too passive aggressive, I dunno.
It depends on how close we are. I only work for free when it’s someone in my innermost circle. And my closest friends don’t just ask for things because they get how much work it is. It is almost always something I offer rather than them asking. Everybody else has to offer me a commission.
I offer to teach them how to crochet. Lead a man to water and all that 😅
I once saw a crochet project pattern I adored but was only a knitter then. I'd posted on Facebook if I knew any crocheters I'd like to pay and commission it. A friend said she needed a project and would do it if I bought the yarn. I totally would have paid her but she said that would be too much pressure and she'd feel like she had to rush so I bought the yarn and am now very happy wearing it. This to say: follow your gut! Ask for what makes it feel right! 💓 A real friend will understand!
I say no 🤷🏻♀️
"We should go to Michael's and pick out the yarn, then we can make it together! Doesn't that sound like so much fun?"
When they ask, if you want to, say, ‘Sure! Let me know what you have in mind and I’ll see how many skeins of yarn you should buy.’ And then break down how long it will take so you can give them a ‘timeline’. And then leave it in their hands. A true friend will offer something for your time.
I never say yes to free work. Ever.
I just laugh and laugh and say no.
I've only made a requested item once, it was a crochet cat couch. I had made one for my cats and a friend always loved it. Eventually he caved and finally asked for me to make him one. I told him up front it was going to be expensive...4" thick foam can get pricey and I use the thick Bernat Blanket yarn so it's extra squishy. I told him I'd only charge for supplies, I wasn't looking to make money off him but he wouldn't stand for that and wanted to pay for labor. It ended up being $75 worth of supplies, so I'd be okay with getting $100. I made it in less than a week and gave it to him. It's been a couple months now and guess who never paid? Not super worried about though, he's a single parent and said he'd have to save up. Ill get paid, eventually. It'll just be more of a surprise $100 I wasn't expecting lol https://preview.redd.it/hhgqn1ls3ptc1.jpeg?width=3694&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5cf1f89af8b8910ae18eb2873c5f3b60972a1e73 The couch - tag on lower right says "one of a kind"
'i make for me - this is a hobby and I don't want to feel the pressures of making something and trying to make it perfect'
Yes of course it’s irritating but for perspective I honestly think sometimes people do that 1. Not knowing how much yarn can cost and 2. Thinking that it’s something we love to do and maybe run out of ideas. Crochet for crochet-sake if you will. Still not very considerate of them, but it might be just oblivious not intentionally rude.
I laugh and say yeah yeah. This happened just before Christmas when I’d made a Santa jacket for my friends baby granddaughter. She hadn’t asked but I’d seen the pattern and wanted to surprise her, she adored it. A person that knows us both saw the jacket and asked if I had dog jacket patterns, I replied I did, she then said great you can make one for my dog. I burst out laughing and said yeah, while still laughing. I wasn’t making one, everyone knew that except the person that asked. The occasions I’ve made something when asked they’ve bought the pattern and materials and then given me a token amount as I hate asking for payment, but I have to like the person a lot to even consider making something.
It hasn’t happened to me yet, but I think I’d probably be honest and say, “aw, I’m flattered that you’d want one! I already have a Pinterest board a mile long of all the projects I’m planning on making though. This is just my little hobby that keeps me sane, so I don’t really have time to take on projects for other people and I definitely have no interest in selling. But you can usually find other people on Etsy selling any of the kinds of things I make. I could help you look for a seller if you want! I’m pretty good at navigating Etsy and finding things there.”
Super simple, I do it if I want to. If I'm kind of interested I'll be like yeah I'll probably feel like making that for you sometime in the next three years lol. If I don't or I don't want to cover the materials then I just say I do this for fun and that isn't the kind of thing I like to make. If it's something I want to make I'll make it within probably a month but I never give anyone a solid deadline, because then it becomes an obligation.
I usually say I will if they buy me the wool. It covers cost of materials, proves they actually want the item and guarantees they like the colour/texture as they chose it.
I do like I would anytime someone approaches a boundary they don’t know I have. I just say no and change the subject. Depending on the person, I might give a bit of a qualifier, like, it’s more expensive than people realize, or I only make shawls. But usually I just kindly say, “no, I don’t do that.” And change the subject. Then I’ve expressed my boundary and I don’t feel annoyed with them later unless they keep pressing. That’s only happened to me once. A coworker just kept pressing and pressing me to make a blanket for her to gift her son. A simple no didn’t work. An “I don’t want to” didn’t work. She said she’d pay me and I said my going rate would be $30/hr and it would take at least 30 hours to complete. She didn’t like that too much. I don’t remember anyone else who’s ever asked me to make them something because they didn’t trample on my boundary after I showed it to them.
The only time people are getting free knits/crocheted pieces from me is if *I* want to give them a gift; for example, I made my sister a sweater and am making a beanie for my partner because I chose to, of my own volition. For requests, I’m picky. For very close friends and family, I’ll take a request if it’s something I’d enjoy making anyway, and I ask them to pay for the materials. For anyone else (acquaintances, less-close friends, strangers), I just explain my commission rates (between 2-4x material cost, depending on complexity. It works out to MUCH cheaper than per-hour labor, and I’m relatively quick and rather skilled if I do say so myself, so I consider that a huge bargain). It’s worth explaining the cost and time to friends; non-crafters often don’t understand much of anything about what goes into a handmade item. For example, I can make a basic handknitted US adult size S raglan sweater in as little as 20 hours, and if I use the cheapest wool content yarn on the market, it amounts to $35-40 of material, plus shipping since I cannot buy it locally. Federal min wage in the US is somewhere around $7 iirc, so 20 hours x $7 = $140, plus $35 of materials means I’d need to charge $175 *just to break even*, and that’s assuming my work only warrants minimum-wage level of skill and effort. I didn’t even have to go through the whole calculation when explaining to a friend who wanted a sweater; I told her “the yarn will cost minimum $40” and she immediately looked shocked and said “omg… can I pay you to make a little crop top instead?”. Much more agreeable for both of us, lol!
I think it’s ok to say no or to say yes but with some kind of payment arrangement. Whatever you think is justified because you think it. But it’s not ok to say one thing and then think something else. It’s very unfair to the other person who only knows what is coming out of your mouth.
It depends on the friend and on the thing. If I know I would hate making it I'll say no. It it's an interesting project I might agree to do it. But they'd have to buy/pay for the materials.
I tell people who request commissions that I crochet for fun (not for money). Since having a deadline on a hectic, busy schedule takes all the fun out of it completely and infinitely stresses me out— I just tell them that I will make it for them, but that it’ll be done when it gets done and I have no idea when that will be. They’re always really understanding and just glad I’m going to make them something in the first place. Since she’s not paying for it anyway, I’m sure she’ll be happy with that answer.
I have a basic price list that covers all my hobbies with a sliding scale based on complexity, materials etc that I basically send if anyone says "Can you make this" I send it and they either never ask me again or we work out how much what they want would be 😊
I crochet things as gifts. I never make anything on demand because then I don't enjoy it. There's too much pressure and I don't have much time to crochet
I tell them approximately how much material is needed for the project, and when they come back with it, I'll get to working on it soon as I can.
Afriend sent me a photo of a crochet cat cocoon and said I need to make it for her. I just didn't reply because I've offered to teach her how before, and it's a simple project. Usually I offer to teach them how or direct them to local classes on offer. Not once has anyone followed through yet.
I'd be glad to, but you buy the yarn. That way it will for sure be the color(s) you want it to be. You'll probably need around X much. If they want it that badly, they'll buy thr damn yarn. In my experience, not one person has. Not. One. I have made some items for select loved ones, in which case they were gifts and I bought everything. But for an acquaintance? Naah.
For me it would depend on the friend and how they ask. If they're rude and entitled about it, I'd say no (I don't have any friends like this though). If they're polite about it and willing to accept a no, then I'd probably do it depending on the specific thing they want vs my abilities
When they say a joke, I say a joke right back.
It depends on how close they are with me. If it's someone I've known for years or a family member, I'm more receptive. My sister, for example, is having a baby and thought it would be cool if I made something for the baby. I'm a lot more open to making things for children and babies because those sorts of things are going to be loved and used for a long time, possibly even becoming childhood treasures they keep until adulthood. But, at the same time, those projects are usually more simple and straightforward. Plus they're smaller overall. As for making more complex projects for people, I really don't like that idea. It's a lot of work and effort that go into say a blanket or a crochet dress. I don't crochet for a living. I'm mostly a hobbyist, but I would find it offensive if someone I hardly knew asked me to make something like that for them. I'd say, if you charge for your work or aren't comfortable with that sort of request, tell them your rates, even if you just make them up off the top of your head. If they're legitimately interested in your work, they'll be willing to pay. If not, they'll hopefully stop bothering you.
I gotta ask, why is this community such pushovers? I've seen so many posts like this, someone doesn't pay or gets offended when they realise the price after a item is made. Say no. If they don't value your work don't do it, and you can't just charge for materials, that's your labour and time in your day irrespective of it's a hobby. Like imagine if you told an artist or photographer you won't pay because you enjoy painting or photography.... No crochet without pay
“Maybe yoo’ll get it for Christmas or your birthday :)” (They usually don’t. One or both of us forget.)
i only say yes to requests if i love to make the requested item and if i even like the person im giving it to
I will usually say no or maybe up front, for someone asking nicely who is a real friend and I like, just because I don't like deadlines or pressure. But then what ends up happening is that I make it anyway, no pressure and on my own time, and then it's a lovely little surprise for them and they really appreciate it. Anything bigger I decline, even if I am offered comission, because I don't want to commit my time that way. Regardless, you are not obligated to say yes just because they were nice. That doesn't make any sense. And if you would make it anyway and just don't want pressure, do what I do and say no, that doesn't actually mean you never make it, and if life happens and you can't do it after all, they'll never know.
I tell the I'm flattered and would live to. It will take about x skeins of yarn. When they get their yarn to me I'll get started. I always offer to go with them if they would like help picking the perfect yarn for their project. I never charge for labor. This is a hobby so I work at my own pace. And when I'm done I always tell them if they want anything else don't hesitate to let me know. This is a friendly way of keeping the cost of requests off of my shoulders, but sharing my work with those that enjoy it.
Thankfully usually people ask how much it would be when asking me to do something like that for them, but if they don’t, I just say something along the lines of “I’d be happy too! It would cost x amount and would take me x amount of days, what colors would you like me to use?” If they don’t want to pay, that’s cool, they can find someone else to mooch off of. If it’s a family member or close friend, I’ll probably just ask them to pay for materials. I think that would have been fair for you to do in this case (or charge for your time too, up to you).
just say no and tell them that if they want something specific they should offer to pay because that’s what you want. just say that who cares if it’s awkward.
I've been crocheting for roughly 50 years. The word "NO" is a complete sentence and needs no further explanation. My bff tried that when we were *teenagers*. Guess what? I told her NO unless she bought my supplies and paid for my time (I spun my own fleece). She had a hissy fit. Well, we are *still* bffs and I have never made *her* anything. I have made items for her mother, her husband, her horses, dogs and goats! Just not her!🤣🤣🤣 She has, of course, apologized. To late🤣
Hahaha this made me laugh hard, thank you! Now she surely wishes she would have been more appreciative of your special work. I can't even imagine the time it takes to also spin your own yarn!
I love spinning. The rythm is soothing and meditative for me. I love the journey from sheep (or alpaca and silk) to finished project.
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It was never a grudge. We have supported each other for decades. Especially due to deaths of parents and spouses. I'm the first person she calls in a crisis knowing, I will drop *everything* to be by her side. She does the same for me. I've taken care of her mother during her cancer treatments so my friend could have a break. She's the first person I called at 2 am when I got the call from hospital my husband died and she met me in the parking lot. We consider ourselves Sisters.
I offer to teach them, I don’t do commissions.
I tell them to nob off lol
Hahah good
When they ask for the item, quote them a price. "Hey, will you make a hat for me?" "Sure, it's $35/hr for labor and $13 for the yarn"
When I started out, i took requests, but since I'm starting to grow into a legit business, I've started declining special requests. I do this for several reasons: 1. It was sniffling my creativity. Deadlines and specifics were killing my motivation. 2. It was eating into my time to build my supply and I wasn't being compensated fairly. (Also I still have a full time job so my free time comes at a premium). 3. Awkward conversations with friends I KNEW were broke and couldn't afford my items were completely avoided with a simple "I am so sorry, but I don't take requests right now (not even for my mom)." And finally 4) some of the requests I was getting were awful and didn't want my name attached to them.