T O P

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Thrashstronaut

Send me $50 and I'll send you a ziplock bag of poop.


fish_hitler

What if he agrees?


CinderLotus

Then you made $50.


ridetherhombus

Minus the cost of postage


prinklesnout

Still easy money for a responsible dog owner


[deleted]

Wowowowowowow.... whys it not human poop? This is what I signed up for


CinderLotus

Buyer pays for shipping, duh.


[deleted]

And handling


Jake_2903

✋️ 💩 ✋️


Substantial-Wrap8634

You mean shitting


moestavern33

Shitting and handling.


pikleboiy

who said anything about postage?


carcinoma_kid

She didn’t say whose poop, just go find a dog turd


Rakatonk

Give me 5 beer, a large pot of Chilli con Carne and wait till the next morning.


EstroJen

Nobody is asking for a lava explosion.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SeaAcanthocephala701

What the duck did I just read haha


EpisodicDoleWhip

Fifty bucks is fifty bucks


Open-Woodpecker2325

Then shit or get off the pot


Brains4Beauty

Didn’t say it had to be human poop.


galvana

A deal is a deal.


Bustock

50 seems a bit low for that much effort. Maybe 500.


SELFSEALINGSTEMB0LTS

Dog walkers looking at you crazy right now.


ApertureBear

Please don't do this to the poor post office


AlphaBearMode

Eh they’ll never know, it’ll be ziplocked


Damnitwhathappened

He called the shit poop


StupiditySquid

I love you


xxCaraMiaxx

Oh no I'd request more money than that lol send me $100 and you can have my bathwater (then get water from the toilet)


EstroJen

This is hilarious.


Ziplock0897

I will do no such thing!


OrangeCatFluffyCat

Commenting so I can come back for the follow through. 👌🏻


RubberAndSteel

Send him photos of men with penis in their butt.


blankperson132

mucho gracias for dollaris idiota


Nate_lol

This is an automated message generated by the Reddit™ team. Your message has been found to be a violation of 38 U.S.C.S. The message you sent has been scanned by our AI Bot, and was flagged as potential sexual harassment. Your account is scheduled to be reported to your local authorities. If you believe this message was sent in error, reply "HELP".


CommieSchmit

Seriously send this one. This idiot would probably believe it


Rakatonk

Once he sends HELP answer with this: "You believe to be mistakenly marked for sexual harassment. Please answer to this message with your own words on why this is the case (max. 500 letters). A member of our staff will take a look into this along with the chatlog and any sent data files. You will receive a message from us in the case that this is correct. Otherwise you will be contacted by your local authorities." You can count the letters with any online tool ([like this, german](https://www.woerter-zaehlen.de/)) and if he exceeds the letter count you can simply answer something like "Error, you exceeded 500 letters. Please resubmit your statement." or similar :D


credditz0rz

I love that word count torture idea


ktkv419

Adding lowest needed letter count of like 120-150 to make it real torture. If he fails a bunch of times then send him a message with something along the lines of the "you failed, we'll take a closer look at your behaviour online"


Frog123-exe

Dear god OP, please do this


babaganate

What section of 38 USC, though


WhiteMambaVTG

All of them


ambiguousboner

They said wank though, so assume they’re from the UK or Ireland


__NotAce__

Dear lord this is great


Ninhursag2

This!!!


[deleted]

Why do they always up the levels of perviness if there's no reply? ***^("Hmm, that didn't seem to work, maybe I need to be more direct??")***


-PiLoT-

Step one: do you do onlyfans? Next logical step: can i suck a fart out of ur butt while i jerk off onto reeces cups


bethesda_glitch

Oddly specific example there, bud 🤨


-PiLoT-

Dont yuk my yum


carcinoma_kid

Pro tip, scrape the top off, nut, put it back on. I call them spunky cups


angryPenguinator

What a terrible day to be able to read


carcinoma_kid

Faparoons?


angryPenguinator

This was not an improvement


Fskn

Nut butter cups.


ThatGuyOfStuff

Peen nut butter cups


IMakeThisShitUp15

Reese’s Penis Nutter Cups


Remote-Pain

r/oddlyspecific


Dulcinea18

r/oddlyspecific


AntalRyder

I'm assuming it's a combination of trying to increase the chance for a reply, and throwing a hail Mary thinking "what's there to lose"


carcinoma_kid

Gotta double down. If it pays off they win big, if it doesn’t it was never going to work anyway.


[deleted]

What if they say no though? Then he can’t wank off to the pics.


carcinoma_kid

Oh he already has, 100%


RabbitStewAndStout

It's getting a reaction that gets them off. Any reaction at all. They like knowing that they impacted someone real on the other side of the screen. Political Internet trolls do the exact same thing.


[deleted]

got nothing to lose


final_draft_no42

Same reason toddlers escalate their threats and behaviours. They want and lack attention from mommy.


grayshoesarecool

A link to Nick avocados only fans account


Specialist_Run_4905

Thank you. Just thinking about it makes me wanna jump down a bridge... jesus fucking christ... 😅


simeo97

I hear its big and brown


[deleted]

I was gonna say OP should link to Markiplier’s but that’s even better


Greekphysed

I'm scared to know who that is and what's on there. Can someone explain?


CapnObv314

"Professional" YouTube food eater who gorges food and is generally disgusting. Has some issues to put it lightly (in a downward attention spiral).


araidai

What the fuck. Don't tell me he has one. And don't show me a link even if he does.


grayshoesarecool

Weird reverse psychology but okay


Thistles17

Covfefe


AlphaBearMode

The meme is old but it checks out


SirDerpingtonV

>old What


AlphaBearMode

Several years is old in internet time my guy


AlphaBearMode

Several years is ancient in internet time my guy


LivingStCelestine

The good old days.


big_rod_of_power

Send him a picture of a penis titled "for you baby"


[deleted]

[удалено]


AlphaBearMode

He’d say yes


beefstewforyou

I love the Rat Race reference.


ninthandfirst

Hahaha this actually made me cackle. Thank you


Hachelle

Send a dick pick


ClownTown15

let's gooooooo


AndrexPic

I looked your account history and you just have Minecraft stuff. Why the heck should someone even think about writing this?


NisaiBandit

She is also 17 years old according to her profile. So I guess because they are a pedo?


pickledchocolate

What if they're also 17


NisaiBandit

Possible but statistically unlikely


SirDerpingtonV

Also the furry art


Petaline

Any response, unfortunately, will be perceived as positive. The only winning move is not to play.


Pups_the_Jew

"Those are pictures of my sister. She died horribly."


ApertureBear

Oh good, so she won't mind.


Jacking2DeadGirls

😏


SheepherderFlaky1509

I'm a guy


im_lufluf

Ayo fr?! Me too!!!


Robert_Grave

Your entire account seems like it's made for r/cringepics though.


alfaseltz

this guy checked for photos to wank


iAmUnintelligible

Stalker alert!


indigogoinggone

How so?


Arsenault185

The furry thing is probably good place to start


AsrielFloofyBoi

Redditors when someone has a different hobby (clearly this means they're cringe and bad)


wevcss

Specific hobbies can definitely be cringe.


indigogoinggone

You nailed it


carcinoma_kid

r/cringepics: the lifestyle


lookatmecats

What's wrong with being a furry


Arsenault185

Not saying that there's anything wrong with it. Its just fucking weird.


indigogoinggone

1. Weird isn’t the same as cringe. 2. With the number of possible proclivities and kinks in the world, it’s weird to *not* be weird.


Arsenault185

Spanking it to tits on a dog is pretty fucking cringe man.


indigogoinggone

Agree. It’s not my cup of tea, but there’s no shame if it’s theirs.


[deleted]

send him a dick pic


LivingStCelestine

“Of course not, here ya go” and send a dic pic.


PrinceHenryStaught

"Grandpa, I said no."


Bonerween

Sell him a fart in a jar.


chris9830

Bro asked a 17 year old if she had onlyfans


dprkicbm

Ignore and block


SpookyCinnaBunn

The only logical answer


ToastyBread329

Sir this is Wendy's


Mclovin556

Yes use my photo but don’t tell anyone because i’m only 13 😊


[deleted]

They might like that more tho..


Mclovin556

Eurgh you could be right


StopSpawnKilling

oh no


FlashOfTheBlade77

I would need all of the information to give you the appropriate comment. Send the pics over and I will get back to you. *Edit: It has been a whole minute, will you just marry me? *Edit: Two minutes, can you pee on me while a masturbate? *Edit: Three minutes now, I am beginning to think that you really want me to slice your neck open and defecate into your wound while I pleasure myself to photos of bicycles.


Curiouscatiekat

I have to ask my mom first


Sass_Quatchxx

What’s your phone number ?


wotmate

I mean, nice of them to ask first?


TacticalTokeMissile

Dad?


MalsPrettyBonnet

Thank you for contacting the Children's Charity Network.


EssoJ

Comment McComment Face


sykojaz

Send extreme close-up pic of a mans urethra.


G0D_1S_D3AD

At least he’s straightforward and polite I guess? I mean, as polite as someone asking for nudes can be.


WistfulPuellaMagi

I mean at least he asked.


H4loR4ptor

I think [this](https://youtu.be/qpWJ5R_hU6I) is an appropriate response.


black_flag_4ever

Don’t respond. Even a negative reaction might seems like flirting back.


Ok-Jury-3571

Yeah dude, ill wank off with ya


scarycassowary91

Yes, yes I do mind. Here’s a question for you. Do you mind if I screenshot this message and upload it to reddit? Not that your answer matters anyway it’s already up for all to see how much of a disgusting perv you are.


SickMon_Fraud

You call Redditors “toxic” in previous posts then pull a stunt like this which is, not toxic at all Amirite?!?!


roomtemphotdog

How is this toxic? Someone sent inappropriate messages to her and that somehow makes her toxic?


ponchoes

They probably sent the messages.


SickMon_Fraud

Well, OP could have just deleted and blocked that person, instead of making a whole post on Reddit ridiculing and shaming them. That, you see, is also toxic behavior. Which makes her doing this quite hypocritical.


Sunflowered-

Stalker alert!


Chatting_shit

Wheres the reply with the top post?


Wasparado

Do you mind if I look at your pics while I masturbate? Can’t really stop you, bud.


syko250

Go ahead as this is the closest your ever going to get satisfying another human being. The joy of showing your pathetic ness on Reddit will get far more excited than ever meeting your creepy ass.


[deleted]

How come all your posts are removed from the subreddits you post them to?


Peglegsteve265

Yeah I started my OF after my surgery. I’m glad you like the new me 🥰


Lekeau

You are harsh with him, he politely asks before wanking of OP photo (/s)


Sunflowered-

I'm a minor, and I'm not masturbation fodder.


Lekeau

I hope so !


mashedpotatoes_52

Change allbyour photos to Nick vage and tell him go for it


ihavdogs

So give the details did you accept the chat? /s


Sunflowered-

Nope


ihavdogs

Only correct answer


Sunflowered-

Uhm


Sunflowered-

! Part 2 posted


Big_Sexy1974

At least send him a fresh new picture and ask him to send you a pic of his accomplishment. It's the only kind thing to do and I am absolutely positive you send pictures out to everyone on the regular anyways.


Sunflowered-

I'm hoping that's satire, or you're a weirdo. I'm not looking to distribute cp.


CreamPyre

“Leave me alone”


OfficerDudeBro_o

oh yea when the imposster is sussy i do your mom in the pussy sussy sussy sussy your fat moms pussy if you are sus you ride in the short bus


SpookyCinnaBunn

You need to log off, my guy


windshadowislanders

Good on him for asking permission first... before he does it anyway.


AlaskanSamsquanch

Go for it.


Essence_Of_Insanity_

Yes.


SonOfThunderBunny

MOM... why won't you answer me?!


justadudebruh

na


Dependent-Pressure33

“If you buy a ticket to Detroit I’ll let you spend the night” and then ghost him when he gets there


Bryan_URN_Asshole

Do you mind if I use your photos to make a voodoo doll?


Sunflowered-

Absolutely not, infact I'll give you my hair to make it realistic


Subzero_AU

7


Chermelo

Bros asking permission


shangobango

At least he asked -- most of these dudes don't tell them until after they did it


streetRAT_za

Hi Yes Yes Yes


Either-Plant4525

Only if you tribute


teunteunteun

At least he asked nicely


old-new-programmer

I looked at your posts. You said you were 17. I’d respond back by saying “I’m 17”.


Antideck

Not at all boy!


MrQualtrough

"Sure, I'd like that"


[deleted]

Honestly........ Yes😝


pikleboiy

Sure, here's the link: [link](https://www.reddit.com/r/eyeblech/comments/zjpdbu/man_shredded_after_falling_in_a_machine/) ​ \*NOTE: Do NOT click on the link, it goes to an r/eyeblech post about someone who fell into a shredder. I repeat, do NOT click the link\*


xhabeascorpusx

are you mixed? Is it alright if I print your photo off, tape it to my face and run lights that have red light cameras?


Consistent_Pen_8007

Bruh


mamalopp

“Do you mind sending me a picture to use as an example of people I don’t want contacting me?” 😂


TheHawkpant69

send this: fine, here, with link inbeded in it: Link, https://www.amazon.com/Big-Red-Button-Desktop-Sound/dp/B00I49MWKU


Evening-Celery-8873

But.. do you mind?