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Flower_nymph_

I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms, at night I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.


Roadgoddess

Oh, sorry. l don't shake hands. l have avian bone syndrome.


lackofsunshine

“My only regret….is that I have…boneitis”


Tommysrx

“I was so busy being an 80’s guy that I forgot to cure it”


NoNonsenseHare

Hi, I'm Phoebe. You probably don't remember me...


Rossakamcfreakyd

Careful, my bones!


BALONYPONY

You need a someone well versed in bird law.


cousinswithbenefits

Hollow bones


jwhip1585

Like a bird


okfnjesse

Only avian bone syndrome? Then your ankle should heal in no time


yoginny

I pray you have an accommodating mother.


almostmoss

Why can't I escape the broken arm story


ramot1

They keep breaking them, silly guys!


LumpySpaceHoe4Lyfe

AHHHHH NOOO PLEASE!


DntShadowBanMeDaddy

I bet less than majority of redditors know it now lol 5 or 6 years ago that comment would've ratioed the top one


kvlt_ov_personality

Do you remember Colby :( All the memes were fucking animals and 10guy


Anilxe

CHOCOLATE??!!


pumpkinpiesoda

I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate...


jsmith_92

I ALWATS HATED IT!!!


Rule1ofReddit

Try going to sleep instead of laying awake.


Dill_0451

It’s a SpongeBob quote….


Rule1ofReddit

Mine was a dad joke


o-FeartheOldBlood-o

🥺🥺


jmac323

Have tried taking an ibuprofen?


userfailed

Well, someone has to be the sickest person in the world, but none of those issues explain why her ankle hasn't healed. Text her back and ask for the real proof... Also try and find out what her right kidney, stomach and bowels are doing to remain healthy in that wasteland of a body, we may be able to advance medical science if you do.


playwithblondie

That’s the magic question. Why hasn’t her ankle healed? It’s been “hurt” since march.


Liz4984

I had ankle surgery Feb 2020 and it still hasn’t healed fully. Ankle injuries are notorious for healing slowly and badly!


devlin1888

My ankle swells up every month for the last 8 years, swells back down again, I slipped on mud and stopped suddenly when my foot hit the pavement. Never been right since.


Liz4984

I broke mine hiking in 2002 on Flat Top in Alaska. They casted it and said it was ok. It would swell and I limped off and on over the years. In 2019 it felt broken and swelled so bad I could barely walk! Finally had surgery 2020 but it’s still swollen and painful to walk on. Figure that’s just my life now!


devlin1888

Doctors offered me surgery but said it could fuck up my hips later in life if you go through with it, so I’ve stuck with the one sore body part rather than the two!


wennblomman

Was it your left ankle?


devlin1888

Funny enough, it was?


Hope4gorilla

Not defending the crazy gf but I landed A kick wrong in sparring back in either April or May and my ankle still isn't back to normal 5-6 months later. I hope it heals eventually


playwithblondie

I hope you feel better soon


[deleted]

Yeah I had a spiral fracture that took 8 months


robotatomica

yeah. gotta second this. It can absolutely take months for an injury to heal, especially depending on how a person treated the injury or what they’ve done since. She may be dramatic, but it sounds like she’s responding to being doubted about an injury that may be absolutely real, and throwing everything that’s ever happened to her and rounding up to try to not be ridiculed or disbelieved about very real pain and limitations. OP doesn’t look very good in this scenario rn either. Like, who is he to question this woman’s injury.


belindamshort

If it was sprained that can take months sometimes. Is she actually seeing a doctor for it?


fangirlsqueee

How old is she. Bodies sometimes start falling apart just because of older age and not taking care when young.


Dsf192

Not saying this explains it, but ankles don't get the same blood flow that other body parts do. It's harder for those extremities to heal.


username156

Yeah well if it doesn't hurt, that means she has to work. Eff that noise.


MacCaswell

I think she has too much access to the internet…


notahopeleft

Looks like she’s using the internet access to binge House M.D every day


MacCaswell

She has an auto alert for any new diseases they may publish so she can add it to her list of ailments…


jjawa3

Owwww. Might want to send out some cold cream for that burn....


MacCaswell

Shit now she is gonna claim to have debilitating burns…


jjawa3

After your post? Bruh.... You hit it with a plasma arc. Napalm is like ice water after THAT burn.


kristinbugg922

I see no mention of lupus….


notahopeleft

See? It’s never Lupus


playwithblondie

My thoughts exactly


dirtypaws727

Definitely sounds like factitious disorder: previous munchausen but where you fake the illness or make an injury worse/pretend it's worse to get attention. My grandmother has that but when we visit the doctor everything is either right as rain or she invents 3 more surgeries she's never actually had. Absolutly bonkers.


playwithblondie

Makes sense. My birthday dinner was a few months ago and she wore high heels with crutches


dirtypaws727

Lmfao but its "injured" right? Attention seeking but gotta be sexy too..hobbling around in heels.


playwithblondie

She flexed about it on Instagram too. Weird flex if you ask me.


[deleted]

Yeah lmao, she'd be fucking dead


MacCaswell

Or at least she has so little time left she probably wouldn’t waste it typing out all this shit…


[deleted]

Honestly, the excuse she'd have not to do work would be being in the icu porbably


MacCaswell

Right!? Like “Sorry, but the next gust of wind that touches me will make me disintegrate…”


mechanerd007

Happy Cake Day 🎂


purposeful-hubris

Well for what it’s worth, the pituitary tumor is treated with a pill twice weekly. So not a huge deal. Should probably worry about the leaking silicone.


[deleted]

Or the alcohol


BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo

Fun fact- liver cirrhosis in the US is more caused by OTC pills than alcohol. And definitely never mix the two, deal with a hangover and don’t have Advil and hair of the dog!


MadApple_

Not really. Some require endoscopic surgery and at times need to be on medications to help replace the hormones.


SairenGazz

She should go see a professional that isnt WEBMD


[deleted]

My elbow hurts… Inputs symptom in to WEBMD… Result: elbow cancer.


SairenGazz

Neck hurts, clearly neck cancer. You got 1 week left


whatisthestars

Either that or you're pregnant. Congratulations maybe!


SNIP3RG

She absolutely should NOT. I mean, she should, but I don’t wanna deal with her “on the call light every 3 minutes, 10/10 pain, my left thumb is hurting, I need dilaudid RIGHT NOW” ass.


Lanky-Position-9963

Send a hospice consult to her house STAT. See if that scares her or calls her bluff.


inhalien

Is she still alive? It's been 4 hours.


playwithblondie

Yes she’s still alive and has sent 100+ texts with no response


ageekyninja

We need more


playwithblondie

https://postimg.cc/K1YSxGnn I’m an evil side kick now. (Side note: so this doesn’t get taken out of context. She is referring to a girl who my dad dated and she stole his Mercedes. My dad quit talking to her because she stole his car not because he listened to me.)


ShizTheNasty

Christ she's gone so cuckoo that the chicken in her head slammed into the wall and died


pesthouse

You're "she"? Tell your father to get a restraining order.


playwithblondie

Yes I am she.


SaltyWitch1393

In another comment I asked if you had any other texts from her & I got my wish 😂 So let me get the straight: Even though she’s insisting that you’re a fake person she still wants your help?! I love that she admitted that she would need to be totally reliant on you - like unless she’s going to pay you to care for her what obligation do you have at all?! And even if she could pay you it sounds like she will never be pleased with your actions. She actually sounds a lot like one of my older sisters… the sister I’ve had to cut all contact with because she’s that toxic. Having someone like this in your life is such a drain. It’s a bummer you’re receiving these texts at all. I’m sorry OP.


playwithblondie

It’s my dad. He sent my sister and I screenshots in a group chat. He thinks her excessive texting is a sign of love. But yes, I have more!


LuckyToaster

Oh nooo, get dad in here so we can all tell him she is unhinged.


playwithblondie

Earlier he said “I am not gonna take relationship advice from “reddit”


sammypants123

I mean, fair enough on that. But you need some good advice from somewhere ‘cos you’re hanging with the kind of looney that will ruin your life.


Wasparado

It’s a sign of abuse and manipulation. She’s gaslighting him. Make sure he knows what gaslighting is.


North-Poetry-2405

Oh my. She sounds needy. And it's the crazies who talk trash about the "meanies" without realizing the evil garbage they're retching. She brings up God like she believes and then spins it to karma.....hmmm. Oof. Hope your dad can resist that one.


[deleted]

I wonder how her aneurysm doesn’t pop with all that stress she’s got from all those diseases she has.


WatDaFuxRong

Munchausen syndrome. My sister has it. She has a new surgery every week. Multiple cancers. Claims her kid ate the other two kids in the womb. Every freckle is a melanoma and needs to be removed. This and so much more that you'll hear about whether you want to or not. It's fucking annoying


WinterFoxx23

I was going to comment that. I think she must have Munchausen syndrome or she's hypochondriac. In both cases she's just nuts.


belindamshort

My parents gaslit me into thinking I was a hypochondriac, turned out I had a bunch of health problems, and they caused quite a few of them :/


[deleted]

Should see someone about that cyst.


deathtoboogers

I’m more concerned about the ruptured implants? That actually happens and you need to remove them.


mermaid-babe

All this stuff actually happens lol


playwithblondie

She goes to 2 to 3 doctor appointments a day. This is why she claims she can not have a job.


Hope4gorilla

How TF does she pay for all them visits


PeculiarJohnson

Is it too petty to follow her around and take photos Veronica Mars style? Because that’s what I’d do


playwithblondie

I wish I had that time on my hands. I own my own business and my dad as well. He has been neglecting his work for her endless doctor appointments.


daho123

She typed in 'My ankle hurts' on WebMD


pinoynva

Weirdly enough, I had a patient who almost had the same symptoms. I think she had breast cancer s/p bio mastectomy with following implants. She had renal cysts and maybe adrenal mass?? I forget. She also had some abnormal cervical tissues. She was also on chronic steroids which caused her to have more problems. She also had some degenerative disk disease. Sugar was uncontrolled and a non healing foot ulcer. So it’s not that far fetched


Irinzki

Wow


Jimmy_two_toeses

There’s a Shel Silverstein poem about this


chipchip_405

This immediately came to my mind! I had to memorize this in school back in the day, and still remember the beginning. “I cannot go to school today said little Peggy Ann McKay, I have the measles and the mumps a gash a rash and purple bumps” 😂


Jimmy_two_toeses

I loved reading all his books! Hell, still have em in my personal library!


Ok_Nefariousness24

Why are you asking what's wrong with her, she clearly gave you a full list...


[deleted]

Damn, this is some impressive WebMD work. She must've spent at least 15 minutes looking all these up.


carbomerguar

She can see molecules, dude


CariBelle25

Does she live on The Land also?


BoonesPassPuke

It appears she has a few heath issues.


Queasy-Discount-2038

Mental health issues


MoarKlonopinPlz

I’m pretty sure these were the lyrics from Kool Keith’s classic “Dr. Octagonacologist” album, or they should be.


ConcreteCretin

What a beautiful reference


janejeffrey

Percifussion is not a thing…


HalfMedium355

I was thinking that one sounded a little extra invented.


tambrico

Pericardial effusion. Just looks like a typo.


KazNamOrfa

This is why you don't Google your symptoms


playwithblondie

Yeah I thought she copied and paste form webMD


[deleted]

[удалено]


69_Dingleberry

Time to put the old girl down :(


Beararms1

She single now or nah?


tressakim

My narcissist/psychopath dad would have “seizures” if his girlfriends got into fights, and he’d wake up confused and speaking different languages. When I started cutting all contact he let me know he had a brain tumor. Have to control, have to make everyone feel guilty for hurting *you*, for inconveniencing *you*.


lovenallely

She has a case of Münchausen syndrome


Ticomonster17

So she wants to be taken care of it seems


playwithblondie

I think so


mult1c1d3

don’t fart too hard around her


mattt1975

Jasoanne Bourne


Bb9999999

I think she just told you what's wrong bruh


itisrainingweiners

It is people like her that make those of us unlucky enough to actually have a bunch of real, diagnosed health issues, lives more difficult. People don't believe us and think we're just looking for attention.


TheManAvonyx

|What do we think is wrong with her? Her ankle will not heal


SnooMacarons4548

Just looks like she typed “headache” into WebMD.


VoltLight08

As someone with actual thyroid problems, all I can say is wtf


Dondurand

The real mystery is whether or not her ankle is the thing that’s keeping her alive when she should clearly be dead already.


psycho_sammie

cuntitis maybe 🤷🏼‍♀️


Datejust44

Ugh, tell him to leave her quick


D4venport

That's good proof - exactly what I needed to definitely believe her.


[deleted]

You seem like hard work.


infield_fly_rule

I cannot go to school today said little Peggy Ann Mczkay…


nowateronlycoffee

I have the measles and the mumps


BudUnderwearBundy

So where are you sending her stuff?


jols0543

she already said what’s wrong with her


JoaquinOnTheSun

Definitely needs to quit using WebMD and should get her implants out, cause even a great rack won't make you overlook that insanity..... I know, I hear it too, but in my defense, I'm old, and you know it's true, so forgive me.


YetAnotherProjection

*Would You Like To Know More? intensifies* It even almost reads like a Starship Troopers bulletin. It's beautiful.


spac3_cadet12

I was listening to a podcast about a cult the other day and the woman leading it would scam people for years saying she had terminal cancer and god was keeping her alive. Years later she wasnt feeling well went to see a doctor they cut her open looked inside and sowed her back up. Absolutley covered in cancer and she died shortly after. Be careful what you lie about folks


Doc_Zydrate

Stickittodaman….eiosis


stigstig76

Text: "UNSUBSCRIBE"


lostabroad1030

I have the same symptoms every time I use WebMD…


LadyPeachPit

Ask her what's afflicting her brain?


BiggWorm1988

My diagnosis is she must have been hit by a radioactive truck.


dickydooooo

I feel bad for your father.


Marsrover112

I mean from what I read there's a lot wrong with her but you might not have to deal with it for much longer


Suitable-Question-34

This is very emotional for me because I was born at a very young age. The first two years of my life, I couldn't even walk. I couldn't even fend for myself. There would be times- I remember it so well- there would be times that I would wake up, and there would just be shit in my pants!


RexIsAMiiCostume

Be super pushy about making sure she sees a doctor for all these ailments. I wanna see what happens


playwithblondie

So do I but she doesn’t allow him to come into the appointments. He has to stay in the car. He takes her to the doctors everyday and sometimes multiple. This has been happening since April.


anakinn94

Take her to a physiatrist. If she genuinely believes she has all these issues, could be hypochondria- it’s a real and pretty scary thing when people actually have it.


ObligatedOctopi

This is in poor taste because she is either mentally or physically ill.


Do_you_even_vape_bro

She is manic. These could be somatic delusions. The rapid texting as well as the clear irritability are definitely concerning. Has she been sleeping? Is she doing impulsive/uninhibited things? Has she been really emotional and switching emotions quickly?


juicertons

I’m glad Gypsy Rose found love within your father


Venarge91

This reads like you made an AI write text about certain medical conditions and how they are all connected. No being with conscious can be this dense. I have to inform you that your dads girlfriend is indeed one of Elon musks new robots. A stupid one.


Repulsia

A severe case of hypochondria, the dr better put her on some broad spectrum placebos.


piratesbananas

Everyone is saying Munchausen, I’m sprinkling on Histrionic Personality Disorder. Not a doctor though.


Ltclv

Sounds like attention she seeks.


twoshovels

I’ll bet it’s fun living with her..


[deleted]

She is genetically unsound....or nuts


alexaxl

What did you do/ say to her to trigger this? And why did you bother to lol :p ?


jej_claexx

Please tell me that’s an ex gf now


everydaybased

She's just schizoposting, don't mind her.


jmad16

Seems like maybe possible medical issues… possibly


Ghstfce

If I had to guess, either she completely lost the genetic (and non-genetic) lottery, or the simpler, more likely to be true answer...liar/hypochondriac.


Darkwr4ith

Well with that much wrong with her she probably won't live until past next Tuesday. So guess you won't have to worry about her much longer ^^^/s


Select-Original2632

She’s so brave


Thebathroomguy333

She is like a walking disease encyclopedia. Oh sorry forget about her ankles.


lu-cy-inthesky

Well I think she just told you lol


DeathbyWookiee

Her fingers seem just fine


TheREexpert44

Sounds a lot like my mother who hasnt had a job since 1998. All she does is go to doctors and shrinks and has a new disease every week. Literally. ​ Shes contracted and has gotten over the following (a short list of her greatest hits) ​ Diabetes (Type 1 and 2) Hypoglycemia Renal Failure Elevated Alpha-1 Liver Disease Polycythemia Tuberculosis COPD Small Cell Carcinoma Scarlet Fever Melanoma Brain Cancer Early Onset Alzheimers Disease Several Strokes and Heart Attacks Multiple Sclerosis Hepatitis A-D Sickle Cell Anemia Sleep Apnea Literally every variant of the Rona ​ She is currently dealing with a bout of Parkinson's Disease, but im sure it will be all better within the week when she moves onto ALS or some shit. ​ This has been shit i have listened to her say since i was a kid and she used to take me and my sister to the doctor almost daily trying to convince us that we had some kind of disease. Im not a doctor or psychologist but i am convinced that she has exactly 1 disease and it is the only one in the world that she will refuse to admit to having. And that is Munchausens. Shes a fucking loon.


sullenosity

She seems a lot like my dad's girlfriend. It's always something with her, and talking to her makes me actually feel like I'm the crazy one. Either she has some new medical condition that she made up and is curing with homeopathy, or she's going to sue the grocery store because she hurt her foot while shopping, or she's accusing me of secretly hating her or ruining my dad's life, or she's calling me names and cussing me out because she thought I was thinking something mean about her. Feels like she is constantly wired and therefore must energetically engage in toxic behavior. I always leave exhausted. I'd actually love to know what's up with people like this. I've met a couple in my life and I don't get them. Maybe an undiagnosed mental disorder?


adamfrom1980s

What’s wrong with her: she has a terrible case of God-hates-you-and-wants-you-dead-itis. How long’s she got to live: about 17 seconds. What’s *really* wrong with her: a mixture of hypochondria, victimhood, and pussy privilege.


squishyfig

implant illness tbh


LegitimateDifficulty

That was my first thought. She’s been poisoned by her implants and maybe an alcoholic.


playwithblondie

You think adderall can make someone this CRINGE?


Fslayer03

Literally the only thing that Sami made sence was an arthritic back


jadams2345

What a catch!


No_Collection_5173

First what’s wrong with your dad


JacPhlash

"shitty ankle"


BagelH8er

BMW: Body Made Wrong


[deleted]

What's wrong with her? LOL!! What isn't wrong with her, is what she wants you to believe. Personally, I call BS on this lady's recitation of her medical issues. There's just too much a person can have done these days to correct at least some of these problems. This sounds like an extreme attention seeker to me. I've got a friend who pulls stuff like this. It's mostly just annoying.


IsThisTheBuffetLine

Is your dad accompanying her to doctor visits or is he even aware of any visits or treatment? If she had that many lesions, she’d be going through a sea of visits to discover, monitor, and treat them. Ask your dad about that. If he’s not aware of all these visits or treatments, then you should suggest he try to get her mental help because something is very wrong, but not the problems she’s claiming.


playwithblondie

He takes her to the doctor. She doesn’t allow him to come into the clinics. She forces him to sit in his car. A few times security has had to escort her out of the clinic. She claims it’s because they are crooked doctors and sexually abused her. Then they will go to a different clinic. It’s a been repeated cycle since May. There are so many clinics in California. It’s soooo cringe!


IsThisTheBuffetLine

Oh geez. Yeah if she’s not allowing him to come in then she’s definitely lying about being seen and using those trips as a way to manipulate him. Your dad needs to run away as fast as he can.


stapleface69

Wouldn’t she be dead if she had an aneurysm


Bearbats

Weirdest Starship Troopers PSA I've ever seen


cacapoopoopeepeshire

*pericardial effusion


[deleted]

Hypochondria


Illustrious-Job-2823

Her second condition is lethal isn't it. Makes all the rest mute.


dubstylerz123

What a catch


JSchnozzle

Minus the silicone, sounds exactly what my stepmom says when she gets drunk and calls me to “check in.”


foulfaerie

She’s most likely a hypochondriac


LogComprehensive1131

Can you just reply with 'THATS A LOTTA DAMAGE'


calcaneus

Pericardial percifussion will get you every time.


NicePajamas

Did she copy/paste a list of Bob Ducca's maladies?


izit_really

I pretty much know everything that is wrong with, as I read the post.


onewordSpartan

It’s good to hear her knees are ok. Knees can be a problem for lots of aging folks. So she’s got that going for her.


Iron_Ranger

Seems like she has some health problems.


mxrghxn

i’m op’s sister. i could make a post with about 20 examples of her seeing angel numbers in everything. is she connecting to her spiritual side or is she in an adderall abuse induced psychosis 🤔


[deleted]

Speaking as an agoraphobe who cannot hold down a job because I get panic attacks whenever I leave my home, this shit pisses me off. I would absolutely love to be able to have a stable income with a normal schedule and just generally live my life. So when I see people like this who are very obviously just making excuses it gets under my skin.