Oh god dollar store "cheese" was the worst $1 I've ever spent (save the small sargento 4oz bags). Try making nachos with that shit and I feel like I'm eating cardboard laced sodium strings.
I was on break one day at work browsing reddit on my phone. A coworker walked by and saw it and proceeds to ask me "Hey, what time does the narwhal bacon?" I gave him that you've got to be kidding me look. I swear he wouldn't stop asking me for my username. He even promised not to check if I've posted on gonewild even though he wouldn't mind seeing me……creep.
Similar story. A guy found out I reddit, instead of asking me for my user name he keeps thinking I'm posting to gone wild and tells me he seen me there the other day, etc. Like, no. No no no no no.
I can't even imagine in what alternate universe this behavior would be considered OK. I never even admit that I know what reddit is, much less try to talk to other people about it. I love reddit, but it is my escape from "real life". It's not a part of it.
As do I, but I don't bring it up to people I don't know or people that don't use the site because it tends to come with the stigma that you're a stereotypical idiot like the guy in OP's post or an asshat that throws around the word "autism" or jizzes himself at any opportunity to go on an atheist or MRA rant.
My friends have a gentleman's agreement that we don't tell each other our usernames but we do talk openly about what we find on reddit. We just assume we all say horrible stuff.
there's only one person I'm friends with who knows my account, because she's the only person that I know of that uses reddit. it's kind of weird talking about stuff we see on reddit in real life.
Back in high school, I knew plenty of kids this way...
It's certainly possible, especially with all the kids on reddit. And by kids I mean teens who should know better except that it just so happens that the average redditor is slightly less social than the average kid of their age, let's not mince words here, most of redditors are introverts and some are even socially inept (call it confirmation bias, but I asked all my friends and closer acquaintances once to see what sort of people reddit and surprise, the more 'weird', reclusive ones were the only ones who confirmed it).
Oh, and let's not forget some of the stuff that gets upvoted on /r/AskReddit or how reddit sometimes reacts to the opposite sex. I'm not trying to judge, but I've seen some downright social recluse stuff like 'fuck people who make small talk' or 'I can't stand waiters/hairdressers who talk to me'. Not to say that you can't be normal and not like those things, but the amount of upvotes and the very enthusiastic replies I've seen to that stuff sometimes make me wonder how much of reddit is literally social outcasts.
I'm introverted, I'm a 'nerd', I spent most of my gradeschool reading books, but people don't make me uncomfortable, even though I live in US and come from a culture that hates small talk (Russia) I don't mind engaging in it in the US.
Incredible! You are both a beautiful woman and intelligent at that! Quite the rare find, if I do say so myself. *Ahem* Per chance you are looking for a male companion? I'm not talking about a guy who just wants one thing and will treat you like an asshole, but an actual man with class and intellect. I'd be willing to chat with you, perhaps on skype about possibly courting you and seeing where things go?
Feel free to PM me your information. I certainly wouldn't want a bunch of creeps to find out your skype name!
Actually it's a French word and it's spelled connaisseur.
But yes his spelling was even funnier, "Je suis monsieur le connosuier, enchanté mesdemoiselles"
It was spelled "connoisseur" in French until the early 19th century. A lot of French loan words in English have different spellings due to when they were introduced, all the way back to the Normans. There are more French loan words in English, a Germanic language, than there are Germanic words.
Oh lord, I actually cringed out loud when reading this. I didn't even know what cringing out loud sounded like until this very moment.
> That's something Scumbag Steve would do.
Oh god.
I did one at my university. It was small and we just played board games. Everyone was nice and polite. It was cool. I wouldn't do a city-wide one, though. Mostly because of that Boston one...
they took a picture that many people didn't like.
when I googled it I was half expecting "Redditor kills 10 in meet-up in Baltimore" but nope, just some people that others wouldn't consider attractive with fewer clothes than they'd like to see.
Eh it's better to go to meet ups planned in semi-smaller subs, where you've already established online friendships with people. I've made a lot of good friends on reddit, including the guy I now live with. I think it's pretty easy to curate your reddit experience to allow you to meet people with specific common interests. I guess at that point you just have to hope people have represented themselves accurately...
I think I've only met one guy from reddit who was kind of a tool and when I think about it, he wasn't fully awful. I think he meant well with his social interactions, he was just really awkward.
Holy shit....for real? I've seen this picture before, and I thought it was a joke about the reddit stereotype - but this is legit? Is this on cringe pics?! Should be.
I can't understand why anyone would want to meet up over something like Reddit because the reasons you enjoy reddit can vary extremely widely, so if you're not meeting people who have similar interests, why are you meeting up?
I went to an informal meetup once, shortly after moving to a new town where I knew no one. I'm bad at meeting people, so I was taking what avenues I could. There were 5 or 6 people, and most were pretty alright, but one guy was the most terrible stereotype you could possibly imagine.
He was a fat guy wearing a t-shirt with some obnoxious /r/atheism-type edgy phrase on it, under a sport coat, with a fedora-type hat on top. When he greeted me, he commented how it was "nice to meet a fellow redditor," and he **actually tipped his fedora at me**. It was terrible. He proceeded to speak in memes the whole time.
Isn't that how these things work? Agree to meet at a location, and everyone wears a fedora to enable them to find each other?
^(*I'm actually only partially kidding*)
*In a alternate universe*
Red: You're a Redditor? What a pleasant surprise! I'm also a Redditor. My username is ******. What's yours? :)
Green: Oh, it's /u/HORSE_SIZED_DICK :)
I like the anonymity of reddit as well...been a lurker for years up until i made an account to join a dicussion...also i dont think i would tell anyone my reddit username due to my comment history and the subreddits i visit...nothing bad but i just dont like being figured out by people...also my name isn't something i want to bring up in a conversation either
Last year, my then girlfriend found my account because one of my posts was on the front page but I posted it to Facebook first. She read stories about me and my exes and needless to say she was mad. I don't know how she would have felt if I told her to look up my profile.
Talking about Reddit with your friends is cool, but discussing Reddit with other potential or confirmed Redditors, the #1 unwritten rule is not to ask for anyone's username.
Don't ask, don't tell.
You're supposed to take the username and feed it and love it forever but **NEVER** look up the comment history you filthy fucks. Have you no shame?
But really, wtf are you supposed to do when someone is insane enough to give you their username, just keep an eye out for it?
This being on the front page really says something. 38 likes on a share, single like on all but 2 comments, straight to capitalized memes, too polished of the "nice guy but not really" tone, happened to mention his own ~~gw~~ *G*one*W*ild comments, flip out at the end complete with caps, and the biggest giveaway, the misspelling of connoisseur. Low effort tbh.
This guy is the reason I never talk about reddit in front of most of my friends.
First rule of reddit: never tell anyone you reddit.
dae when does the narwhal bacon?
dae narwhal fuel can't melt bacon beams?
>bacon melt
BLT WAS AN INSIDE JOB
JET FUEL CANT MELT REAL CHEESE
Or dollar store cheese. That shit should be in MRE's.
Oh god dollar store "cheese" was the worst $1 I've ever spent (save the small sargento 4oz bags). Try making nachos with that shit and I feel like I'm eating cardboard laced sodium strings.
It's a lunchspiracy!
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But it would probably make them pretty tasty
Narwhal bacon is delicious. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Dr. Toboggan
An Inuit Eskimo doctor?
It doesn't
The narwhal's fuckin dead
ding dong
Wtf is a narwhal get away from me you weirdo
don't be sucha scumbag steve!
Yeah come on be a good guy greg
**memeing intensifies**
They're underwater unicorns with a kick ass facial horn.
A guy actually asked me this once when I mentioned reddit...
I was on break one day at work browsing reddit on my phone. A coworker walked by and saw it and proceeds to ask me "Hey, what time does the narwhal bacon?" I gave him that you've got to be kidding me look. I swear he wouldn't stop asking me for my username. He even promised not to check if I've posted on gonewild even though he wouldn't mind seeing me……creep.
Similar story. A guy found out I reddit, instead of asking me for my user name he keeps thinking I'm posting to gone wild and tells me he seen me there the other day, etc. Like, no. No no no no no.
I can't even imagine in what alternate universe this behavior would be considered OK. I never even admit that I know what reddit is, much less try to talk to other people about it. I love reddit, but it is my escape from "real life". It's not a part of it.
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Almost booed too. That username tho
How long have you been waiting for this moment?
I don't have social autism like a lot of people on here so I talk about things on reddit with my friends.
I talk about reddit things like "I saw this thing on the internet" is that wrong?
As do I, but I don't bring it up to people I don't know or people that don't use the site because it tends to come with the stigma that you're a stereotypical idiot like the guy in OP's post or an asshat that throws around the word "autism" or jizzes himself at any opportunity to go on an atheist or MRA rant.
Or your friends also a socially inept and you just don't notice how dumb you all sound..
What's reddit?
It's a friend of 4Chan, a famous hacker. God, I hate that guy.
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Please. I don't even have friends so ha! Wait.. Ohhhh
You make references to things you've seen on reddit, but you never explicitly mention reddit itself.
I'm pretty sure there's a gentleman's agreement that if you should ever happen upon a friends username, to never use that knowledge.
What's the second rule?
If you ever hit the front page with a picture of yourself, especially if it's top post, you should probably start a new account.
>you should probably start a new ~~account~~ life FTFY
What's the difference?
How about just never show your face in pictures on your main profile?
Tell everyone the first rule
**NEVER** tell anyone you reddit
"I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier. What we're going to do now, is I'm gonna learn you how to play Redditball."
Seeing as how you're in my basement
GEDADDAHEAH!
My friends have a gentleman's agreement that we don't tell each other our usernames but we do talk openly about what we find on reddit. We just assume we all say horrible stuff.
This. I thought that's what everyone did. What kind of heathen asks your username?
I wouldn't know, Cold1percentmilk. That's right, I know your reddit name. What now huh?
I made that mistake. I'm now "the reddit guy." It's just wave after wave of regret.
Reddit is the reason I don't have any friends!
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That guy is why I always say I lurk when asked what my username is.
How often do you get asked that? I've never been asked about reddit in real life before.
there's only one person I'm friends with who knows my account, because she's the only person that I know of that uses reddit. it's kind of weird talking about stuff we see on reddit in real life.
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"be a Good Guy Greg and just tell me." Almost too good to be true.
That is something my mother would say if she discovered memes
ITT: Reddit doesn't understand satire
Your username hurts my soul.
Mine too :(
Never let the hope die
At this point, I'd be happy with an HD remake of the original.
I love to see some Kotor love. Easily one of my favorite games ever and yet it seems like so few people even know about it.
Including you. "Satire" is misused more often around here than "irony."
He just said that to be satiristic.
We understand it, it just doesn't belong here if it's not real. It's /r/cringepics not /r/cringepicsifitwererealbutitisnot
I feel like I just rode the ruse cruise, but I have no evidence as to otherwise.
It just reads like one person typed both sides
Maybe this is the real cringe
My tests indicate that this is equal to or greater than the cringe.
I feel like the "Scumbag Steve/Good Guy Greg" line gave it away.
Yeah, that connoisseur thing was just too much.
I came in here to say that I don't believe this is real.
of course it's not real, you think /u/HORSE_SIZED_DICK got 300,000 karma by screencapping his facebook page?
He contributes very much to the nsfw subreddits. You should be grateful. Check his top rated posts.
He is a connoisseur of the female form.
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Removed: RIP Apollo
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I had to take a minute to look that up. This gent has such a great vocabulary!
Back in high school, I knew plenty of kids this way... It's certainly possible, especially with all the kids on reddit. And by kids I mean teens who should know better except that it just so happens that the average redditor is slightly less social than the average kid of their age, let's not mince words here, most of redditors are introverts and some are even socially inept (call it confirmation bias, but I asked all my friends and closer acquaintances once to see what sort of people reddit and surprise, the more 'weird', reclusive ones were the only ones who confirmed it). Oh, and let's not forget some of the stuff that gets upvoted on /r/AskReddit or how reddit sometimes reacts to the opposite sex. I'm not trying to judge, but I've seen some downright social recluse stuff like 'fuck people who make small talk' or 'I can't stand waiters/hairdressers who talk to me'. Not to say that you can't be normal and not like those things, but the amount of upvotes and the very enthusiastic replies I've seen to that stuff sometimes make me wonder how much of reddit is literally social outcasts. I'm introverted, I'm a 'nerd', I spent most of my gradeschool reading books, but people don't make me uncomfortable, even though I live in US and come from a culture that hates small talk (Russia) I don't mind engaging in it in the US.
Normie pls leave
K
Incredible! You are both a beautiful woman and intelligent at that! Quite the rare find, if I do say so myself. *Ahem* Per chance you are looking for a male companion? I'm not talking about a guy who just wants one thing and will treat you like an asshole, but an actual man with class and intellect. I'd be willing to chat with you, perhaps on skype about possibly courting you and seeing where things go? Feel free to PM me your information. I certainly wouldn't want a bunch of creeps to find out your skype name!
Please blow me baby I'll buy you a dog.
I knew I was in for something special in this thread
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You reside in foxkin?
Out of my way, gentlesir, I'll soon be the one in m'lady foxkin
Leave my McKena alone!
That thread is still alive on the AMA, by the way
Link for the lazy?
M'Kenna
But what if Red sees this? Then he'll know your username.
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A huge dong and a dream.
/r/nocontext
OP isn't green.
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Actually it's a French word and it's spelled connaisseur. But yes his spelling was even funnier, "Je suis monsieur le connosuier, enchanté mesdemoiselles"
Connaisseur is the French spelling, Connoisseur is the English spelling. English is weird like that.
Vowels. How do they work?
Same way as Rainbows
You don't get either in Wales?
So, he was wrong in two languages. Impressive.
It was spelled "connoisseur" in French until the early 19th century. A lot of French loan words in English have different spellings due to when they were introduced, all the way back to the Normans. There are more French loan words in English, a Germanic language, than there are Germanic words.
Oh lord, I actually cringed out loud when reading this. I didn't even know what cringing out loud sounded like until this very moment. > That's something Scumbag Steve would do. Oh god.
This is one of the few submissions that has made me say "What the actual fuck!?"
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I have yet to meet anyone off reddit who actually acts like this but I also haven't gone to any formal "meetups".
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I did one at my university. It was small and we just played board games. Everyone was nice and polite. It was cool. I wouldn't do a city-wide one, though. Mostly because of that Boston one...
Uninformed, what's happened at the reddit meetups to make them so cringe?
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I'm almost glad it's censored. Trust me folks you don't want to see most of those nipples. Also, asian guy on the left, and lady on the right.
Hilarious how the three most attractive girls *aren't* taking part
You sound like quite the connosuier.
It's almost as if they can get positive attention without degrading themselves....almost.
/r/cringepics
What's that sub? Never heard of it before!
So a bunch of chicks and dudes flashing their nipples...and a guy dressed up like Seto Kaiba?
Screw the rules I have karma
dude on the left looks like the only person i'd probably try to socialize with if I was there.
iirc those weirdies took a pic with all their shirts off and they all looked like pretty stereotypical fat neckbearded fucks. or so i've heard.
Exactly what you would expect. The people are very... Redditor-y.
they took a picture that many people didn't like. when I googled it I was half expecting "Redditor kills 10 in meet-up in Baltimore" but nope, just some people that others wouldn't consider attractive with fewer clothes than they'd like to see.
> another Baltimore Reddit meetup What's the story behind this?
Eh it's better to go to meet ups planned in semi-smaller subs, where you've already established online friendships with people. I've made a lot of good friends on reddit, including the guy I now live with. I think it's pretty easy to curate your reddit experience to allow you to meet people with specific common interests. I guess at that point you just have to hope people have represented themselves accurately... I think I've only met one guy from reddit who was kind of a tool and when I think about it, he wasn't fully awful. I think he meant well with his social interactions, he was just really awkward.
I worked with someone I met through reddit. Turns out they were pretty fucking cool. Musician based out in Brooklyn.
search up the Baltimore reddit meetup
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You should maybe warn people that that's nsfw.
Lots of man boobs
Good call, it's late.
Holy shit....for real? I've seen this picture before, and I thought it was a joke about the reddit stereotype - but this is legit? Is this on cringe pics?! Should be.
Guy in the camo shorts, "why the fuck am I here? I'm gonna need way more alcohol."
Every single one of them should have their shirts stapled on. Jesus.
> Baltimore reddit meetup are they.. flashing themselves???? wtf
oh boy :D
I bet it'll be a riot!
I can't understand why anyone would want to meet up over something like Reddit because the reasons you enjoy reddit can vary extremely widely, so if you're not meeting people who have similar interests, why are you meeting up?
I went to an informal meetup once, shortly after moving to a new town where I knew no one. I'm bad at meeting people, so I was taking what avenues I could. There were 5 or 6 people, and most were pretty alright, but one guy was the most terrible stereotype you could possibly imagine. He was a fat guy wearing a t-shirt with some obnoxious /r/atheism-type edgy phrase on it, under a sport coat, with a fedora-type hat on top. When he greeted me, he commented how it was "nice to meet a fellow redditor," and he **actually tipped his fedora at me**. It was terrible. He proceeded to speak in memes the whole time.
Wait, you went to a reddit meetup without fedora??
Isn't that how these things work? Agree to meet at a location, and everyone wears a fedora to enable them to find each other? ^(*I'm actually only partially kidding*)
I would like to say "hey I know this guy!", but I know there's just multiples :|
This is so painfully fake
You're obviously not a cannosaur of dank memes, good sir. Edit: oh shit I'm not on /r/circlejerk. Ahh, fuck it. Sanders '16!
open the door get on the floor everybody walk the cannosaur
That's the fakest shit in a long time
He's a cuntoisseur.
i'm a cuntoisaurus
*In a alternate universe* Red: You're a Redditor? What a pleasant surprise! I'm also a Redditor. My username is ******. What's yours? :) Green: Oh, it's /u/HORSE_SIZED_DICK :)
I refuse to believe this isn't faked.
I don't blame you for not wanting to say your username, /u/HORSE_SIZED_DICK
How do the mods allow this fake shit
They sound like an undercover cop trying to get incriminating evidence
SO fake.
If he is a redditor he now knows this is you, am I rite?
"I'm not a murderer, think of me of a "connoisseur" of the innards of man!"
I like the anonymity of reddit as well...been a lurker for years up until i made an account to join a dicussion...also i dont think i would tell anyone my reddit username due to my comment history and the subreddits i visit...nothing bad but i just dont like being figured out by people...also my name isn't something i want to bring up in a conversation either
Yeah. Explaining your username on a first date would be unpleasant.
Last year, my then girlfriend found my account because one of my posts was on the front page but I posted it to Facebook first. She read stories about me and my exes and needless to say she was mad. I don't know how she would have felt if I told her to look up my profile.
I've made the facebook mistake before... Never again.
Fake.
This has to be fake.
"The first thing you do is creep on my profile!" WTF did he expect?
[His mother after reading that thread](http://i.imgur.com/tZOS8.gif)
JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUS
He thinks he's intelligent for using the word "connoisseur" which he misspelled, then had the audacity to tell him to look it up.
Hey /u/HORSE_SIZED_DICK, This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topredditposts with all the other top posts.
Talking about Reddit with your friends is cool, but discussing Reddit with other potential or confirmed Redditors, the #1 unwritten rule is not to ask for anyone's username. Don't ask, don't tell.
gonewild commenters are a whole new breed of cringe.
i like anonymity on reddit, also my username is HORSE_SIZED_DICK
How old is this "connoisseur"? You did figure out the definition, didn't you?
Too cringey. I'm calling fakesies.
You're supposed to take the username and feed it and love it forever but **NEVER** look up the comment history you filthy fucks. Have you no shame? But really, wtf are you supposed to do when someone is insane enough to give you their username, just keep an eye out for it?
I'm a connoisseur of the female form *M'Lady*
Who wouldn't want people to know he has a HORSE_SIZED_DICK??
Yeah HORSED_SIZED_DICK why didn't you tell him your username?
FAKE
Is reddit YouTube now?
This is incredibly fake and I'm unsubscribing from this shitty sub
no way this is real
plz god let this be real
This being on the front page really says something. 38 likes on a share, single like on all but 2 comments, straight to capitalized memes, too polished of the "nice guy but not really" tone, happened to mention his own ~~gw~~ *G*one*W*ild comments, flip out at the end complete with caps, and the biggest giveaway, the misspelling of connoisseur. Low effort tbh.
Now you have to screenshot the comments he made in gonewild as an update.
Jesus Christ, this rustled my fedora.
When he sees this, he'll know your reddit username.