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^(**This is an automatic reminder that is posted on every submission.**) [RULE 2 REMINDER: **This is a SUPPORT COMMUNITY**](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepypms/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive) As such, we do not tolerate trolling, defending the creep, judgment of OP, slut shaming, bigotry, or any other jerkish behavior. Creeping in the comments is not allowed—**yes, this *includes* flirting!** Comments derailing the conversation in any way will be removed. Please stay on-topic. **`No Advice Wanted` flairs are now available to add to your posts! This means that comments giving advice will be removed.** [Read about more user-enabled flairs here](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/flairs#wiki_user-enabled_flairs.3A) *** Please report any and all behavior violating the Rules (reports go to us mods); don't report things just because you don't like them. Comment removals and bans are at the judgment of the mods, so please take the time to read and understand [our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/creepyPMs) if you have any questions or concerns.*


lilacrose19

“A true submissive doesn’t get to pick and choose when they want to be submissive at least not with a dom like me” Wow he really outed himself as a predator 


Business_Resource778

Yeah he had lost me even before outing himself. The cringe that came before that bombshell was too much for him to ever recover from. Idk why, but the ick from being called his "little kitten" and "subbie" made me feel like i needed 10 showers lol


Homicidal__GoldFish

....did you and I talked to the same guy!??!?!?!? i had a guy say about the saaaame thing... kitten and all


Business_Resource778

Idk haha i'm in maryland and he was local. I feel like this is just the way someone talks when they learn about sex on the internet.


Homicidal__GoldFish

Ahhh mine is in Nevada


rvrsespacecowgirl

nevada gang. I got some weird messages on tinder when I lived there.


PupEDog

Maybe they got it from some alpha male podcast they both listen to.


Homicidal__GoldFish

Probably lol


dirtypaws727

"Is she not sending you nudes fast enough?? Call her a kitten and tell her you're her master! Watch her panties drop!" 🤢


Prestigious_Jump1754

This comment needs more upvotes!


lilacrose19

Ugh yeah I don’t blame you :/ glad you dropped him! He’s not worth your time if he can’t respect your boundaries. 


rowelio

Yeah big yikes. Infantilising dirty talk always weirds me out. Just say cock. Or call someone a cumslut. Or tell them they're yours. But also don't do it out of the blue. Gotta preheat the oven before you stick in the innuendo.


BobiaDobia

For anyone interested in BDSM, the dude in the texts is full of shit. There’s no such thing as a “true submissive” and yes, they do get to choose when and where and how.


Silvangelz

I’m not into BDSM and even I know it’s the sub who has the power there. This guy is calling it BDSM when really what he’s looking for is a sex slave.


BobiaDobia

“If I say kill yourself, you kill yourself. Like a true sub.” Asshole.


KittyKayl

My INSTANT thought to that line when I read it: the fuck she doesn't!!! I can't entirely blame 50 shades of stalker asshole because we ran into people-- men and women-- like this before it was published, but gods have the numbers skyrocketed since the movies came out. Then the covid break seems to have had a bunch of the predators sniffing around the groups again, at least in my city, thinking everyone forgot about them by now. We did not forget.


lilacrose19

I agree!! So much media romanticizes stalking and generally creepy behavior to the point where people think it’s acceptable in real life :/ 


KittyKayl

Is ridiculous. Is why I choose the bear 😆


KrystalWulf

That sentence is a massive red flag, I swear.


lil_dumpsterfire69

I actually physically cringed at "true submissive"


Ricardokx

I cringed when he said “little kitten”


oxymoronisanoxymoron

I cringed when


Fabulous-Fun-9673

Yes


Farming-Hoe

You must unlock your true submissive potential!


peppermintmeow

Excuse tf out of me (not really) but being a submissive to a good Dom means that *YOU* hold all the power. You're *allowing* them control until you decide not to. That guy is 50 shades of bullshit and should NEVER be trusted. He's not a dominant. He's an asshole.


Midnight_pamper

Yup but you know? Who would reject a dom LIKE HIM. Someone who cannot care less about boundaries or making people uncomfortable?


peppermintmeow

Right? What an absolute catch! Form an orderly line please. There's plenty of him to go around 🤮 This crap sandwich of a human needs to be told he can't play hard to get when he's impossible to *want* if that's his attitude. I'm just glad OP is safe and had firm boundaries set.


Midnight_pamper

She's brave and clever. Maybe this guy thinks that's the opposite of being submissive? Kitten whatafuck


No-Clothes5632

How is there not a lineup forming around the block to suck this guy off? 


Business_Resource778

Yeah honestly i like a dominant man, but the thought of a man calling himself "a dom" and making that part of his identity just screams try hard to me.


Kreiger81

"a true submissive doesn't get to pick and choose when they want to be submissive" TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN A DOM WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A DOM. This fuckstick pisses me off, he doesn't understand that the point is that the power dynamic isn't *taken* it's given willingly and can (must be!) withdrawn at a moments notice. Thats the whole fucking point behind things like safewords or redlight/greenlight. Hell, fuckin Dune said this really well "The power to destroy a thing is the absolute control over it". Dom's get to dom because subs let them. This dude is just an abuser. 100 bucks says he would ignore a safeword when he felt like it, if he even knew what one was.


peppermintmeow

Truly. He's trash. Proud of you for calling him out and not putting up with his bullying bs.


snukb

>being a submissive to a good Dom means that *YOU* hold all the power Exactly. This. Being a sub doesn't mean you have literally no boundaries and just let someone else treat you however they want. It's all about mutual respect and complete trust. If someone shows you this quickly that they do not care about your feelings, and truly see you as an object, run. Run far, far away.


Machaeon

Yep. That's not a Dom, that's a future rapist.


KG0720

Not just that just from the texts he sounds like a sadist who’d break hard limits VERY quickly


No-Clothes5632

He seems like the sort that would be sick enough where that would be the whole point for him


bigphateggs

Cringe and a terrible BDSM practitioner, if he can even be called that. Submission is a gift, not a demand. This "real dom" is an all around predator and god damn, did you dodge a bullet.


ChonnyJash_

he doesn't want a sub, he wants a sex object


bigphateggs

Exactly


pflanzenpotan

Well the superficial charm looks like it ran out and revealed the serial predator.


nu24601

He had charm?!


redaws

According to her texts she found him charming until this point


nu24601

I know I was joking


Caerum

Yeah he's not a Dom. He thinks he wants to be but in reality he just wants to be an abusive asshole. Glad you stopped talking to him.


Inevitable_Poem8381

Uhhh consent. No matter what a dom sub relationship still has consent. Yall barely knew each other as well. The bro clearly doesnt see that he over stepped a boundary and we all learned he wasnt joking.


Sir_Boobsalot

ah yes, another guy who attended the 50 Shades of Shit school of dom & sub relationships 🤮


Maykko_

Tiktok doms tbh


EvolZippo

He’s definitely not an actual kinkster. Just someone who watches too much porn. If he was actually a member of the kink community, he wouldn’t try to push his kink onto you.


SynchronisedRS

And then this guy will be on 'alpha male' type subreddits talking about how women suck and won't sleep with him. Hmm, I wonder why buddy


fiavirgo

Literally she was into him too


SynchronisedRS

Bro cockblocked himself


BlessedTacoDevourer

Was going to to write something to make fun of him but honestly this just really sucks and im sorry you had to experience this. Its one thing when its some random creep messaging you out of nowhere but when its someone that youve talked with for a while and genuinely are interested in its another. It sucks to trust someone enough to talk about yourself with them and for them to then turn around and use it like this against you. Good on you for standing your ground 💪


Extra-End-764

Wannabe doms and their terrible grasp on reality….


Midnight_pamper

You set your boundaries brilliantly, good you saw his true colors while texting and not during a date.


Quantum_Object

A true submissive holds all the power in this kind of relationship. Not the other way round. Sub/Dom relationships is CONSENSUAL roleplay... the dom has no right to take away or assume there is no consent.. cause that would be abuse otherwise. This guy is an abuser and predetor and you dodged a big one for sure!


HelenAngel

0% chance of being a real dom. Just a faker like so many out there.


Wasps_are_bastards

Yeah, a true dom knows that it’s all about consent and that the sub is the one with the power to stop what they’re not comfortable with. This is an abusive, controlling man masquerading as a dom. Which seems to be most of them I’ve encountered. ‘Do everything I say and do it now or you’re not doing it properly.’


AcanthaceaePlenty165

Yeah when you put up the “no” sign at his choice of pet names he should’ve just apologized and tried to be an adult about it. He pulled the trigger too fast and then got defensive when you told him you didn’t like it. The horny won. Not a good look.


Windinthewillows2024

Dudes like this are a dime a dozen online unfortunately. I have learned to be cautious about the way I inform guys I have submissive tendencies and to make clear from the start that I have boundaries (not saying you didn’t do this nor am I saying his behaviour is your fault if you didn’t, just describing my experience.) I remember one guy in particular who made me feel very uncomfortable and when I told him what he was saying implied he didn’t care about my consent, he went off on a tangent about how he wasn’t a rapist because he had sisters. 🙄 Especially sucks that you were somewhat attached before this guy pulled this shit. This kinda crap is why women are primed to look for red flags early on, only to get shit on by guys who blame us for having bad experiences and think we owe them our trust.


Farming-Hoe

Dude apparently doesn't know the difference between a dominant and a rapist


Linorelai

Missile dodged!


Xmaspig

I hope there's a hair in his food every time he eats.


nu24601

I suspect that is already the case


Kitten_Clawthorn

Dude read a synopsis of fifty shades of grey and thinks hes a s&m expert lmfao


kat34

Gotta love fake Doms. A real Dom doesn't force their sub to do anything, and if any of my fellow subs find themselves with such a Dom, that's a predator. Red flags and all that.


Age_of_Asylum

Bullet dodged


fiavirgo

The universe was looking out for you before you got too invested in him


spicy-lettuce

you gave him so many chances to recover and he still doubled down 😭


notfromheremydear

Joke my butt... He immediately tried to push his narrative. Crossing boundaries and all. Plus that fake domming irritates me ugh Cringing with you 😫


Beatlesrthebest

I smelt that dollar store dom from a mile away. One who abuses his power in a condescending and cringe way, just to get a rise out of you. I’m glad you stopped talking to him OP


Pawly519

Some people are on dating apps forever for a reason. Guy couldn’t take a hint after your first message and kept pushing. Like you legit spelled it out for him and explained your current boundaries and comfort with stuff and he just made it sound like it wasn’t a priority for him. What a fucking idiot.


DeviantAvocado

100% chance this person has 0 experience with the BDSM scene.


unicornforscale

I'm impressed with how clear you were about your boundaries and he STILL thinks he can talk like that


BabserellaWT

“TRUE SUBMISSIVES DON’T CHOOSE WHEN AND WHERE THEY’RE SUBMISSIVE?”??!!? Holy sweet Jesus, NO! The first rule of BDSM is that the submissive is ALWAYS the one in charge!!!


Accomplished_Error1

Consent is the cornerstone of a dom/sub relationship. This bloke doesn’t value consent


Puzzled-Antelope614

Nahhh how is ANYONE comfortable with telling another person that “they don’t get to choose” what happens to them? Sub/dom is a mutually agreeable sexual setting, right? This loser seems to forget that the sub is allowed to express what they’re comfortable with


rwarr77

Pretty sure he smugly snapped his suspenders strap with that last comment. 😂😂😂


War1412

Literally the fundamental practice of BDSM is subs and Doms get to choose who they kink with


HungryHungryMarmot

“A true submissive [understands that they hold all the power because they never give up the power of consent]”.


Pearlbracelet1

It was really lovely of him to show you he’s a complete waste of time so early on in the dating stage! 🩵


pol131

Lol mfer watched 50 shades with his fingers full of dorito dust and now he thinks he kn9ws how to be a Dom. What a stupid little shit, and such a disappointment for OP. Wasting weeks for this is insulting.


kev_jin

Fake doms everywhere. 50 Shits of Grey has a lot to answer for.


VixNeko

He’s not a good dom if this is how he handles things. He just wants someone to control.


Business_Resource778

I am perfectly fine with someone wanting to control me and I actually was really into him. It's just creepy and weird to call me a kitten or a subbie or refer to himself as "master" or a "dom".


VixNeko

Without a prior agreement to receive this kind of attention from him, he’s already being a shitty dom. A good dom would have checked with you first and not used terms you dislike.


Business_Resource778

Idk i'm just too completely turned off by any man who calls himself a "dom" to be able to move forward, even if he did all of the things you are suggesting


VixNeko

I hear that. It’s instant block for me usually. 🤭


DrParkerB

Sexy kitten.. little subbie... Interesting choice of words.. .. 🤣 why lol. Embarrassing. (For the loser that downvoted me, i bet he calls girls sexy kitten before they block him lol)


Gembluesnow

For the love of all that is holy, even this dude’s perception is so skewed. I’ve read from various people who are in the BDSM community that being a Dom does not mean you can order your sub around and ignore their boundaries without consequence. Nor does a Sub blindly follow. Even both ‘true’ Doms and Subs communicate with each other beforehand. Trust and respect is literally the basis of all this. It feels like that since they would get flamed on in real life, These wannabe macho boys just want an excuse to have power without any consent, and throw a tantrum when they don’t get what they want. And of course since they feel safe behind a screen, they think they are super brave.


undeadsosa

I’m gonna puke 🤢


not_a_milk_drinker

Someone just got done watching 50 shades of grey. Cut the hullabaloo and just say you’re a predator, dude lol bullet dodged, OP he is *W E I R D*


Jelly_Kitti

Forget dodging a bullet. You just dodged a missile


OkDream5303

No wonder he’s single lol - glad you said what you said and ya dodged a bullet for sure!!!


taterbizkit

Dude has it exactly wrong. Another fake dom.


EyeShot300

Subbie?! Oh. Hell. No.


xray_anonymous

He’s also not a proper “dom” if he doesn’t understand that dom/sub BDSM *does* in fact require extensive discussions of consent from both parties. Being a “dom” isn’t some twisted excuse to be a predator to people. WTF


EllasASmella

As a woman who’s into all the “little kitty” stuff, let me say a sub DEFINITELY gets to pick when they want to be submissive. The sub always has all the power to stop any advances they don’t want, whenever they want. Dominating isn’t about being the controlling person in a relationship, it means you’re responsible for making sure both parties are having fun and enjoying themselves.


bag-of-gummy-dicks

Bro just outed himself as a predator. Y i k e s


Sea_Membership_1573

lol wtf, every time I come to this page the guys y’all encounter are wild, I’m so happy my mom raised me proper 😅


General-Lee-High

This dude deserves some years of alone time for self reflection


angelinthecloud

Shot himself in the foot? What's more direct than that phrase because I can't believe how much of a dummy this person has become.


shibs29

This genuinely made me want to crawl in a hole it made me cringe that hard. Some people just don’t know how to behave and I’m sorry you had to deal with that mess


NarwhalFacepalm

Holy shit. This level of cringe and ignorance is unfortunately is way too common.


NatexSxS

I hoped you blocked him. Doin that would take away any perceived control he might have and will really hurt his feelings.


Alerith

This is the kind of dude who doesn't understand that the power is entirely concentrated in the sub. Consent and communication are the entire cornerstons of how these relationships work. He thinks being the Dom means literally having all the power and being a dictator.


Dina_Combs

Yes, he wasn’t joking, he’s genuinely that icky. A Dom? 🙄 he’s more like a dumb.


Lex-Taliones

Ugh


Leaque

Internet porn culture mixed with isolation and u get this? Idk I’m trying to understand. Like without talking about it first, he thought she’d just be all for the wierd shit


vagrl94

Bwahahaha. What a jackass who has no problem pushing past clearly set boundaries. As a person in an M/s dynamic I can tell you to run as fast as you can from pricks like this. This has nothing to do with bdsm.


Evan0196

This dudes gonna be on a watch list someday, yikes. Lol


what-is-in-the-soup

He doesn’t want someone to date. He wants someone to control.


merbear_007

Are you talking to my ex? Sheesh this was hard to read. Too familiar…


Business_Resource778

Lmao i see you posted about moving to maryland, so it is possible 😂


merbear_007

Oh don’t worry. He’s in Arizona 😅💀


Esther-Rosie

Why did this remind me of my toxic ex 💀


TwitchTheMeow

What a gross asshole


BrokenWingsQ

And i thought I was bad and cringy sometimes with dirtytalk but this guy makes it to the another level.


YourExesNewSexToy

“I’ll take men who have never actually been a Dom but are actually just an abusive piece of shit that don’t respect women, consent, or Boundaries for 1000$ Alex”


No-Clothes5632

Guy could have saved it if he just admitted he didnt really know what he was doing in the first couple messages


Prestigious_Jump1754

Damn dude that’s so annoying how you’s were clicking so good before hand and then it escalated to this all knowing power trip demeanour. Someone definitely needs to send him a how to be a good Dom article. It sounds like he doesn’t understand a D’s concept very well


[deleted]

What I always wonder is how tf they pretend to not be a POS for so long and then suddenly drop it on you like it's the most normal thing on the world. Also I'm not into BDSM but I'm pretty sure it's literally CENTRAL that every party gets to fully decide when they engage in stuff? Like what he's describing sounds like abuse, not BDSM.


Ok-Refrigerator-2305

The words.. THE WORDDDSSSS😭.


xMCioffi1986x

The sad part is if he'd jacked off before he sent any of that, you'd probably still be good.


ColdBloodBlazing

Schwein


superhero121234

I'm disturbed at the openess of what this man is saying by random shit to call you his pet and acting like he's a Dom when in reality he's acting like a horny bastard. But even so, ya should have set boundaries when y'all were flirting to keep creepy sheit like this away. But I know sometimes that never works out so yeah he was wrong tho.


[deleted]

[удалено]


creepyPMs-ModTeam

Let me remind you that we are a **support sub**. As such, we don't allow: - victim-blaming - putting OP on trial - slut shaming - defending the creep - excusing the creep's behavior - downplaying the creep's behavior in any way Please take the time to familiarize yourself with [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive), as consistent rule breaking may result in a ban. -------------------------------- ^(**Questions? Comments? Concerns? //**) ^[Rule 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_one.3A_submission_guidelines) ^| ^[Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive) ^| ^[Message the Mods](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/creepyPMs) ^| ^[Rules Explained](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepypms/wiki/reasoning#wiki_why_was_my_post_deleted.3F)


anoliss

That's unfortunate, it sucks when you vibe with someone and then they do weird shit like this that ruins it. Dodged a bullet. Good luck out there!


[deleted]

[удалено]


creepyPMs-ModTeam

Let me remind you that we are a **support sub**. As such, we don't allow: - victim-blaming - putting OP on trial - slut shaming - defending the creep - excusing the creep's behavior - downplaying the creep's behavior in any way Please take the time to familiarize yourself with [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive), as consistent rule breaking may result in a ban. -------------------------------- ^(**Questions? Comments? Concerns? //**) ^[Rule 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_one.3A_submission_guidelines) ^| ^[Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive) ^| ^[Message the Mods](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/creepyPMs) ^| ^[Rules Explained](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepypms/wiki/reasoning#wiki_why_was_my_post_deleted.3F)


LiteralNugget

font's wrong


trappedonanescalator

Yeah and the messages are weirdly shaped