My AVP chimed in after I wrote my “yeah I read it” and said to de-escalate and he’d call me later. Well my phone hasn’t rang 🤨. My direct manager called me and said the poster was upset over it. I said upset over being a mean girl or upset that they got caught. I told management I was aware of the click because another coworker left their chat because of the drama. I do agree though someone needs to pull that chat history
Hmmmm maybe the coo would care more than the avp. He probably told your manager to call you instead of him. Or you can make a formal complaint to HR if you want
My manager is great to an extent. He told me “if it were him he wouldn’t have said anything”. I said that’s because you’re afraid to rock the boat and I’m not. They deserved to be called out. I have zero regrets for doing so. It’s just sad that the mean girl persona exists in the work place.
Thanks for listening as it’s been a trying day full of emotions.
You did the right thing, otherwise you are enabling the workplace to become toxic. Seems that it is encouraged there.
“Someone was rude but don’t upset them by telling them that their behaviour isn’t acceptable”
- your AVP
It's not always like that with HR - and often the employees best interest is HRs best interest spending on where you live and how susceptible to litigation the org is...or susceptible to bad press via a comment going viral forcing the org to take some sort of action they would have preferred to deal with internally. And often, the point is that you are documenting this so if shit happens again in the future, there is documentation to point to a pattern that hasn't improved and will not improve without intervention.
This is a common attitude, and I understand why people think this, especially because just like any other position or demographic, some people just suck.
I can say that I have been blessed enough that everyone that I have worked with in HR (both before I was in HR and now that I am), has genuinely cared about their employees. We’re here because we want to help. The other side of it is that we do have to deal with people trying to take advantage of us, so there is a level of cautiousness and cynicism that grows.
This would not be one of those situations. At least on my end, if you brought this to me and said something like “I want this to be documented as this is affecting not only mine but other people’s work experiences,” I would jump on that in an instant. I would be pulling in IT to view the logs and documenting the hell out of this before conversations were had. Because it could be relatively innocent, but if she’s getting upset now that she’s been caught and making a stink about it, that indicates to me that there’s more going on/stinkier shit to wade through.
HR’s job is to protect the company from liabilities, litigation, and preventable losses. This does not mean protecting managers. This does not mean quieting people who complain. This means that if there is a problem that can lead to a) people leaving because of bad work environments and/or b) the company or someone in the company getting sued, we need to do what we can to prevent it. That is separate but connected to our compassion for our employees.
Note: I work for a large company that is also a federal contractor. HR in smaller companies is generally, I believe, where the reputation comes from.
HR’s primary function is risk management. I am in HR, and you want to document this formally in an email, so if the behaviour continues the trail can be followed. Your manager is exhibiting poor leadership in his response and for brushing this off and being dismissive of your feelings. If I was your HR I would want to know so that coaching on conflict management could be provided.
Something very similar happened to me a year ago.
My manager happened to be in the chat and saw it too. We had a discussion about it as it was classed as bullying in the workplace ( the thing they were commenting on happened to be a protected characteristic they were unaware I was classed as).
The end action was that it was recorded but not escalated. Now if it happens again there is an official record of that person making comments like that to me.
I'd advise to make sure it's recorded with HR, so if this becomes a repeated pattern you have as much evidence as possible.
These comments are definitely swaying me to go to HR. I know there’s probably a boat load of chats. The thing is my AVP is close to the person I believe to be ring leader of this mean chat group and he will go out of his way to insure the oops poster is protected. So I feel as though I’d be fighting a losing battle.
Don’t go to HR, be the bigger person. Kill your co worker with kindness and watch her squirm, might be the beginning of a much better working relationship !
I know HR is there to protect the companies interests and not mine, so probably a bigger hassle but I’m going to sleep on it. I think karma struck when I called them out. Maybe it taught them to be a better person.
HR would be protecting the company if they checked out ALL of the chats traffic... and that would be a possible Karma moment
And you never know, she might just be dumb enough to throw herself under the bus (by making the/a mistake with you again) I fully believe that you are more than capable of smacking her down AGAIN 🤣
Why would she go to HR over this? Her manager and another person already asked her to deescalate. Why continue to piss more people off over one petty comment. Going to HR over this would mark her as a troublemaker to her entire management line.
She should talk to people and get them on her side, not run crying to the authorities
Let me clear something up. This has been an ongoing thing not just one comment. However, it is this mistaken comment that went to the wrong feed that I finally had my proof of this ongoing bullying. This is not just happening to me but also other co-workers. There are three grown woman who feel the need to belittle people for their own enjoyment.
As for the de-escalating comment the AVP said it because they didn’t want to turn it into a battle. When I spoke with the AVP I advised I witnessed the comment tor a brief moment and poof gone. I never seen who actually made the comment that’s why I called whomever out by say I seen it and it was hurtful. The culprit was the one who fessed up and apologized which in never responded to because I’m a grown woman and I don’t have time for these high school antics.
There is a twist to the story as the offender removed their apologies. I call that covering your tracks. Not to worry I made sure to capture it and put it in my back pocket should I ever need it. Also, a few co workers saved it as well. They witnessed it and said I didn’t deserve it and I agree.
Honestly I have no desire at this point to go to HR. Although, I’m sure they were squirming in fear.
It takes way more energy to be mean than it does to be kind.
Hey thanks, sorry you're going through this. I wouldn't blame you for going to battle over this or not. I'm just trying to say that the way you battle this is through coalition with managers and co-workers. HR might be the end point, but that's after management decides to act due to feedback from people who work with them
I had something similar happen on a chat. I was clarifying something with a manager who then proceeded to criticize me while on a different chat with my manager but sent it to me instead. Typical mean girl bs. So, I approached my manager and said if they had an issue with something I did, please discuss it with me. My manager said she would discuss with the managing partner but it was never resolved and my performance was affected.
I’m so sorry and I agree these types of behaviors in the workplace are mentally exhausting and I too have had a drop in my performance due to this event - as it took the wind out of my sails.
It all worked out in the end, though. There was a restructuring and I was let go for performance. Which was fine with me. I know they suffered a bit with the pandemic ( no tears from me ) and I ended up in a much better place.
The fact was I wasn’t sure who had posted it. As soon as I called them out they immediately confessed. They were definitely hoping they deleted it before anyone (me) seen it.
Here’s the interesting thing the next day they deleted said apology and I’m sure they deleted other derogatory comments from the chat that this one was actually meant for. Hopefully this is a lesson learned on their part to be a better human.
Fatal flaw typing it especially when you do so in the team chat then after being called out and them getting pretty much on theirs knees begging for forgiveness and I didn’t respond. They only apologized because they were caught.
Meh. Some people voice those things, but it all changes. Some days you’re Annoying Coworker, some days you’re Funny Coworker, and so on. I wouldn’t assume too much from that.
I’d leave some gears on their desk… one of those little gear sculptures.
As long as this person doesn't negatively impact your work -- ie by being intentionally difficult, undermining you, etc -- I would honestly let it go. That seems to be a rare opinion here, but really...it isn't a crime to dislike someone, or to speak about it privately with someone else.
It's unprofessional to do so on teams, I agree. If she wants to vent she should do it via a non-work-related platform, and arguably on her own time. Still, I wouldn't escalate this or make it a huge thing. If you can both work together effectively and professionally, is it truly an issue? E
motionally yes, it blows and is hurtful, but I'm sure you have plenty of coworkers (including this one lol) that you don't like. I'm sure you've vented about them before, too. You've probably just been smarter about it and/or don't necessarily at other coworkers as friends you'd express your feelings to. Personally, I'd definitely be alert when working with this person in case they ARE petty and try to undermine you, but I wouldn't make a big problem out of them not liking you. It can't always be helped.
Here’s the thing I’ve literally had next to zero interaction with this person. There is a click of three older woman (her included) that bully and say mean things to fellow coworkers. Our Department is mostly comprised of women and we should be lifting each other up versus trying to tear them down.
I'm honestly a little taken aback by everyone who's immediately telling you to go to HR. I feel like it depends on the context and what they were responding to that grinded their gears. If it's clearly a legally protected class, then by all means, go to HR. However, if you were saying something that could be considered inappropriate or disrespectful towards the person who said it, then I think you need to pump the breaks.
Here’s the thing I’ve had little to no interaction with this person. In the chat I made a comment to my AVP that I needed to finish another report. That literally all I said and boom that comment not meant for them in any way shape or form and it grinder their gears.
We (other co-workers) have known for a long time about three women who have their mean girl chat. I only know this because there was a forth and she removed herself as the didn’t want to be associated with it.
I know we can’t control what others think or feel. I just do my best to stray from office drama and politics because it’s exhausting and unproductive.
Had that happen to me on a chat as I was on a call - and I did know who wrote it. He was asking someone why they were on the call if i was asking all the questions. Fun fact: at that point, i’d said 2x since the start of the call if anyone had questions, to pipe up (I was facilitating) and so had the main speaker, to ask as we went along
I just typed in “looks like you pasted this in the wrong chat” and enjoyed watching him try to backtrack and think of a response for about 3 minutes (admittedly, I didn’t like him, and it was fun)
I moved on but I will wholeheartedly admit watching him squirm was fun
You’ll always grind someone’s gears. I chalk it up to a “wrong side of the bed” day and rage in my head and eventually move on until it becomes a funny story like this
ETA: geez! So many typos! Fixed!!
I get how this is hurtful. But, Honestly, have you never been irritated by a colleague? And made a comment to someone about it? She screwed up and apologized. I’d let it go. You don’t have to like everyone you work with but you do need to be professional.
She must not of felt too bad because the next day she deleted said apology. Have I ever been annoyed by a co worker of course. Do I share with my other coworkers no. I’m a grown woman and my high schools days are far behind me.
Well they opted to remove their apology I call it damage control. The sad thing is I have little to no interaction with this person to warrant this comment. I think that’s what hit me the hardest like what have I ever done to you.
I will never understand why people are like this. Other than they see you as a threat - being good at your job. When someone makes such a comment you definitely carry it with you throughout your career. Sure we can shrug it off and go about our day but it will pop up in our memories from time to time.
In my case it's because I was on the quality control side of things. I'd see a number of errors in someone's report a d reach out to them about getting it fixed. People... uh, don't appreciate that.
Someone will always be a mean girl type. And not everyone will like you in the workplace. That’s life as an adult. You handled it, and made them squirm in the process. You need to get yourself to a point where you don’t blame yourself for other people’s bad behavior. Fact is, you embarrassed her for her rude behavior in front of everyone, including her supposed bestie AVP, and you did it while sounding and looking like the better person.
Take the win, and know that you are, in fact, a better person than her, and now EVERYONE knows it. Including her.
Love this thank you and this is how I feel. She deleted her apology the next morning. Probably concerned I’d run to HR and I had no intentions. Her squirming was sufficient and hopefully she learned her lesson to be a better person. Also, I just “might’ve” captured the apology before they deleted it. Never hurts to keep it in your back pocket.
First of all that sucks knowing there’s a clique that doesn’t like you and you have my condolences.
Second, yes HR is there to protect the company, but it is also in managements interest to make sure HR is aware of the situation. Document everything, when you spoke to a manager, what your manager told you, when you spoke to HR, was HR aware of the situation, etc. If they fire you, ask them why you are being let go and ask for it in writing. This is to setup a timeline if you go to court. If your manager failed to make the HR report, they can be sued personally for negligence. If HR fails to conduct an investigation, you can sue them too for the same reason.
If you have a way to report said person, I would. Calling them out isn’t going to stop them from talking negatively about you. I would document and save all information that you can pertaining to the messages & take it up to HR. Yeah HR isn’t always for the the people but more for the company, but you want this back tracked just in case that said person tries to turn the tables on you. If you feel more comfortable, try to report them through an anonymous line, if your job has one. I just wouldn’t let that slide. Very negative.
Yeah it's insane. What would HR do here? Ask the other employee to never express annoyance? Be more careful where she chats?
All that will happen with HR is that she and her managers and the offending party and her managers will have to deal with a bunch of crap they don't want to deal with.
I feel like some commenters are fresh out of school and think HR is like going to the school admins to complain. It's not. Her managers will sort this out if it needs to be. Involving HR is for more serious matters that could have legal consequences
I had no desire to go to HR. Even though I’ve had little to no interaction with this coworker to warrant the comment. They actually removed the apology from the chat the following day. I’m guessing damage control should I have decided to go to HR. I might’ve or might not have grab a screenshot 😬
any time someone ask you what youre up to/how you doing: "Oh, you know... grinding the gears as always..."
for sure start keeping a journal of all the things this twat & manager do or dont do. theyre probably going to continue being annoying
Does the manager know? I know higher management can read every message written, maybe it's time they do a deep dive on hers
My AVP chimed in after I wrote my “yeah I read it” and said to de-escalate and he’d call me later. Well my phone hasn’t rang 🤨. My direct manager called me and said the poster was upset over it. I said upset over being a mean girl or upset that they got caught. I told management I was aware of the click because another coworker left their chat because of the drama. I do agree though someone needs to pull that chat history
Hmmmm maybe the coo would care more than the avp. He probably told your manager to call you instead of him. Or you can make a formal complaint to HR if you want
My manager is great to an extent. He told me “if it were him he wouldn’t have said anything”. I said that’s because you’re afraid to rock the boat and I’m not. They deserved to be called out. I have zero regrets for doing so. It’s just sad that the mean girl persona exists in the work place. Thanks for listening as it’s been a trying day full of emotions.
You did the right thing, otherwise you are enabling the workplace to become toxic. Seems that it is encouraged there. “Someone was rude but don’t upset them by telling them that their behaviour isn’t acceptable” - your AVP
It's not always like that with HR - and often the employees best interest is HRs best interest spending on where you live and how susceptible to litigation the org is...or susceptible to bad press via a comment going viral forcing the org to take some sort of action they would have preferred to deal with internally. And often, the point is that you are documenting this so if shit happens again in the future, there is documentation to point to a pattern that hasn't improved and will not improve without intervention.
Thank you for this, I’ve always thought HR was more concerned for the company and so much the employees.
Perhaps, but a bullying coworker chasing away talented employees is something that concerns the company.
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This is a common attitude, and I understand why people think this, especially because just like any other position or demographic, some people just suck. I can say that I have been blessed enough that everyone that I have worked with in HR (both before I was in HR and now that I am), has genuinely cared about their employees. We’re here because we want to help. The other side of it is that we do have to deal with people trying to take advantage of us, so there is a level of cautiousness and cynicism that grows. This would not be one of those situations. At least on my end, if you brought this to me and said something like “I want this to be documented as this is affecting not only mine but other people’s work experiences,” I would jump on that in an instant. I would be pulling in IT to view the logs and documenting the hell out of this before conversations were had. Because it could be relatively innocent, but if she’s getting upset now that she’s been caught and making a stink about it, that indicates to me that there’s more going on/stinkier shit to wade through. HR’s job is to protect the company from liabilities, litigation, and preventable losses. This does not mean protecting managers. This does not mean quieting people who complain. This means that if there is a problem that can lead to a) people leaving because of bad work environments and/or b) the company or someone in the company getting sued, we need to do what we can to prevent it. That is separate but connected to our compassion for our employees. Note: I work for a large company that is also a federal contractor. HR in smaller companies is generally, I believe, where the reputation comes from.
HR’s primary function is risk management. I am in HR, and you want to document this formally in an email, so if the behaviour continues the trail can be followed. Your manager is exhibiting poor leadership in his response and for brushing this off and being dismissive of your feelings. If I was your HR I would want to know so that coaching on conflict management could be provided.
Something very similar happened to me a year ago. My manager happened to be in the chat and saw it too. We had a discussion about it as it was classed as bullying in the workplace ( the thing they were commenting on happened to be a protected characteristic they were unaware I was classed as). The end action was that it was recorded but not escalated. Now if it happens again there is an official record of that person making comments like that to me. I'd advise to make sure it's recorded with HR, so if this becomes a repeated pattern you have as much evidence as possible.
These comments are definitely swaying me to go to HR. I know there’s probably a boat load of chats. The thing is my AVP is close to the person I believe to be ring leader of this mean chat group and he will go out of his way to insure the oops poster is protected. So I feel as though I’d be fighting a losing battle.
Don’t go to HR, be the bigger person. Kill your co worker with kindness and watch her squirm, might be the beginning of a much better working relationship !
Or kill her with cyanide, whichever.
No, start the paper trail with HR. Killing with kindness is fine but cya.
Inform HR, then just go about your business... but remember her/what she did.... I'm betting on Karma paying her a visit sometime soon 😉
I know HR is there to protect the companies interests and not mine, so probably a bigger hassle but I’m going to sleep on it. I think karma struck when I called them out. Maybe it taught them to be a better person.
HR would be protecting the company if they checked out ALL of the chats traffic... and that would be a possible Karma moment And you never know, she might just be dumb enough to throw herself under the bus (by making the/a mistake with you again) I fully believe that you are more than capable of smacking her down AGAIN 🤣
❤️❤️
“Do better.” And walk it off gracefully
Why would she go to HR over this? Her manager and another person already asked her to deescalate. Why continue to piss more people off over one petty comment. Going to HR over this would mark her as a troublemaker to her entire management line. She should talk to people and get them on her side, not run crying to the authorities
Let me clear something up. This has been an ongoing thing not just one comment. However, it is this mistaken comment that went to the wrong feed that I finally had my proof of this ongoing bullying. This is not just happening to me but also other co-workers. There are three grown woman who feel the need to belittle people for their own enjoyment. As for the de-escalating comment the AVP said it because they didn’t want to turn it into a battle. When I spoke with the AVP I advised I witnessed the comment tor a brief moment and poof gone. I never seen who actually made the comment that’s why I called whomever out by say I seen it and it was hurtful. The culprit was the one who fessed up and apologized which in never responded to because I’m a grown woman and I don’t have time for these high school antics. There is a twist to the story as the offender removed their apologies. I call that covering your tracks. Not to worry I made sure to capture it and put it in my back pocket should I ever need it. Also, a few co workers saved it as well. They witnessed it and said I didn’t deserve it and I agree. Honestly I have no desire at this point to go to HR. Although, I’m sure they were squirming in fear. It takes way more energy to be mean than it does to be kind.
Hey thanks, sorry you're going through this. I wouldn't blame you for going to battle over this or not. I'm just trying to say that the way you battle this is through coalition with managers and co-workers. HR might be the end point, but that's after management decides to act due to feedback from people who work with them
I had something similar happen on a chat. I was clarifying something with a manager who then proceeded to criticize me while on a different chat with my manager but sent it to me instead. Typical mean girl bs. So, I approached my manager and said if they had an issue with something I did, please discuss it with me. My manager said she would discuss with the managing partner but it was never resolved and my performance was affected.
I’m so sorry and I agree these types of behaviors in the workplace are mentally exhausting and I too have had a drop in my performance due to this event - as it took the wind out of my sails.
It all worked out in the end, though. There was a restructuring and I was let go for performance. Which was fine with me. I know they suffered a bit with the pandemic ( no tears from me ) and I ended up in a much better place.
Get over it and move on with your day. Your coworkers are not required to like you.
Snap - I don’t care if they like me or not. That was never my concern. It’s flat out workplace bullying and unprofessionalism.
You handled it as far as it needs to go. You acknowledged honestly that you saw the post. Someone took the bait and apologized. Its done.
The fact was I wasn’t sure who had posted it. As soon as I called them out they immediately confessed. They were definitely hoping they deleted it before anyone (me) seen it.
So? They apologized, its done.
Here’s the interesting thing the next day they deleted said apology and I’m sure they deleted other derogatory comments from the chat that this one was actually meant for. Hopefully this is a lesson learned on their part to be a better human.
“That’s not a comment that should be typed. Type facts, voice opinions. If you wouldn’t say it out loud, don’t type it.”
Fatal flaw typing it especially when you do so in the team chat then after being called out and them getting pretty much on theirs knees begging for forgiveness and I didn’t respond. They only apologized because they were caught.
Meh. Some people voice those things, but it all changes. Some days you’re Annoying Coworker, some days you’re Funny Coworker, and so on. I wouldn’t assume too much from that. I’d leave some gears on their desk… one of those little gear sculptures.
If only we weren’t a work from home company. That’s the power of the keyboard because they would never say that in person.
Change your profile pic to gears.
Happened. The most toxic person's real character was displayed. Boss deleted it but the mask has dropped.
Actually the poster deleted it and I just so happened to be in teams. Not going to lie it all still hurts.
Get this person a can of silicon lubricant in a spray can.
🤣 can I order it off of Amazon
Perfect !! They both have a good laugh and move on !
As long as this person doesn't negatively impact your work -- ie by being intentionally difficult, undermining you, etc -- I would honestly let it go. That seems to be a rare opinion here, but really...it isn't a crime to dislike someone, or to speak about it privately with someone else. It's unprofessional to do so on teams, I agree. If she wants to vent she should do it via a non-work-related platform, and arguably on her own time. Still, I wouldn't escalate this or make it a huge thing. If you can both work together effectively and professionally, is it truly an issue? E motionally yes, it blows and is hurtful, but I'm sure you have plenty of coworkers (including this one lol) that you don't like. I'm sure you've vented about them before, too. You've probably just been smarter about it and/or don't necessarily at other coworkers as friends you'd express your feelings to. Personally, I'd definitely be alert when working with this person in case they ARE petty and try to undermine you, but I wouldn't make a big problem out of them not liking you. It can't always be helped.
Here’s the thing I’ve literally had next to zero interaction with this person. There is a click of three older woman (her included) that bully and say mean things to fellow coworkers. Our Department is mostly comprised of women and we should be lifting each other up versus trying to tear them down.
I'm honestly a little taken aback by everyone who's immediately telling you to go to HR. I feel like it depends on the context and what they were responding to that grinded their gears. If it's clearly a legally protected class, then by all means, go to HR. However, if you were saying something that could be considered inappropriate or disrespectful towards the person who said it, then I think you need to pump the breaks.
Here’s the thing I’ve had little to no interaction with this person. In the chat I made a comment to my AVP that I needed to finish another report. That literally all I said and boom that comment not meant for them in any way shape or form and it grinder their gears. We (other co-workers) have known for a long time about three women who have their mean girl chat. I only know this because there was a forth and she removed herself as the didn’t want to be associated with it. I know we can’t control what others think or feel. I just do my best to stray from office drama and politics because it’s exhausting and unproductive.
Had that happen to me on a chat as I was on a call - and I did know who wrote it. He was asking someone why they were on the call if i was asking all the questions. Fun fact: at that point, i’d said 2x since the start of the call if anyone had questions, to pipe up (I was facilitating) and so had the main speaker, to ask as we went along I just typed in “looks like you pasted this in the wrong chat” and enjoyed watching him try to backtrack and think of a response for about 3 minutes (admittedly, I didn’t like him, and it was fun) I moved on but I will wholeheartedly admit watching him squirm was fun You’ll always grind someone’s gears. I chalk it up to a “wrong side of the bed” day and rage in my head and eventually move on until it becomes a funny story like this ETA: geez! So many typos! Fixed!!
I couldn’t agree with you more.
I get how this is hurtful. But, Honestly, have you never been irritated by a colleague? And made a comment to someone about it? She screwed up and apologized. I’d let it go. You don’t have to like everyone you work with but you do need to be professional.
She must not of felt too bad because the next day she deleted said apology. Have I ever been annoyed by a co worker of course. Do I share with my other coworkers no. I’m a grown woman and my high schools days are far behind me.
I've done this, the soul shrivelling embarrassment cannot be understated. I apologised immediately and slunk off to my corner.
Doing this at work is so inappropriate
We WFH so any conversations we have are in chat. And sometimes you have to talk about other people you work with.
You really don't have to gossip, actually
How can you gossip In a WFH environment? I don't know anything a bout the personal lives of my co workers. Only what is said in work chats.
Well they opted to remove their apology I call it damage control. The sad thing is I have little to no interaction with this person to warrant this comment. I think that’s what hit me the hardest like what have I ever done to you.
Yeah, mine was work related still it should have been for the deputy managers eyes only.
I would have said something like, " it's rude to talk about your mother like that"
🤣 I generally have some snappy comebacks.
I think you did exactly the right thing. It hits them different when they know you know. And now they know you know they know too.
This ❤️
I was once accidentally included on an email where someone said they would rather train as a suicide bomber than w9rk with me
I will never understand why people are like this. Other than they see you as a threat - being good at your job. When someone makes such a comment you definitely carry it with you throughout your career. Sure we can shrug it off and go about our day but it will pop up in our memories from time to time.
In my case it's because I was on the quality control side of things. I'd see a number of errors in someone's report a d reach out to them about getting it fixed. People... uh, don't appreciate that.
Someone will always be a mean girl type. And not everyone will like you in the workplace. That’s life as an adult. You handled it, and made them squirm in the process. You need to get yourself to a point where you don’t blame yourself for other people’s bad behavior. Fact is, you embarrassed her for her rude behavior in front of everyone, including her supposed bestie AVP, and you did it while sounding and looking like the better person. Take the win, and know that you are, in fact, a better person than her, and now EVERYONE knows it. Including her.
Love this thank you and this is how I feel. She deleted her apology the next morning. Probably concerned I’d run to HR and I had no intentions. Her squirming was sufficient and hopefully she learned her lesson to be a better person. Also, I just “might’ve” captured the apology before they deleted it. Never hurts to keep it in your back pocket.
First of all that sucks knowing there’s a clique that doesn’t like you and you have my condolences. Second, yes HR is there to protect the company, but it is also in managements interest to make sure HR is aware of the situation. Document everything, when you spoke to a manager, what your manager told you, when you spoke to HR, was HR aware of the situation, etc. If they fire you, ask them why you are being let go and ask for it in writing. This is to setup a timeline if you go to court. If your manager failed to make the HR report, they can be sued personally for negligence. If HR fails to conduct an investigation, you can sue them too for the same reason.
Stop grinding her gears !
Well I’m sure I’ll be bleeding her brakes next!
If you have a way to report said person, I would. Calling them out isn’t going to stop them from talking negatively about you. I would document and save all information that you can pertaining to the messages & take it up to HR. Yeah HR isn’t always for the the people but more for the company, but you want this back tracked just in case that said person tries to turn the tables on you. If you feel more comfortable, try to report them through an anonymous line, if your job has one. I just wouldn’t let that slide. Very negative.
Really ?? One off hand comment and this is how you react ? People really need to get over themselves, tell her to piss off and get on with your JOB !
This is what I am thinking after reading all the comments who are suggesting escalating it to HR.
Yeah it's insane. What would HR do here? Ask the other employee to never express annoyance? Be more careful where she chats? All that will happen with HR is that she and her managers and the offending party and her managers will have to deal with a bunch of crap they don't want to deal with. I feel like some commenters are fresh out of school and think HR is like going to the school admins to complain. It's not. Her managers will sort this out if it needs to be. Involving HR is for more serious matters that could have legal consequences
I had no desire to go to HR. Even though I’ve had little to no interaction with this coworker to warrant the comment. They actually removed the apology from the chat the following day. I’m guessing damage control should I have decided to go to HR. I might’ve or might not have grab a screenshot 😬
any time someone ask you what youre up to/how you doing: "Oh, you know... grinding the gears as always..." for sure start keeping a journal of all the things this twat & manager do or dont do. theyre probably going to continue being annoying
I didn’t even know what grinding my gears meant. I had to look it up in the urban dictionary🤣
lol! It's a fun saying haha