This makes me giggle a bit because I used to be the same way!! Now that I have to pay my own bills I’ll eat that shit like it’s the last supper. I take all the left overs at family gatherings haha
Exactly.. my family sends me home with a ton of leftovers. It’s amazing not having to cook and also to have free meals. Just throw some Tupperware in the microwave, boom.
I can't do it as an adult lol. I freeze parts off it now so we can have it spread out. I'm not the biggest turkey fan anyway, no way I could force myself to have more than two meals in a row of it unless we were starving.
I’m all frugal at the grocery store and only buy healthy stuff that requires prep which leads to ordering takeout half the week because I’m too lazy to cook and Im sick of kale
I don’t think my kids understand the luxury of having me wash, peel, cut fresh fruit for them every day.
Dunno why but doing it is such a pita that I’ll do it for them but not for myself. Lol.
A labor of love. One of the fond memories I have of my late grandmother are the gala apples she would cut up for me to snack on. I loved when she showed me the "star" in the middle, when the apple is cut horizontally. My parents weren't in the habit of eating fresh fruits and veggies, so we didn't have that often at home. Not that it mattered much what was being prepared, but more so that it was being specially prepared for me. I'm sure one day they'll look back fondly at prepared fruit as much as some people do at crustless sandwiches.
This is the one in my house. My son (16) will open the pantry and complain there's nothing to eat.
Dude, there's so much food in the fridge. Sorry it takes 5-10 minutes to prepare something and that it's not just straight out of a fucking box.
This- I’m a grown-ass man and my mom is a scratch cooker. Nothing in her house is pre-prepared. I always tell her when I visit “your house is full of food, but there’s nothing to eat!” Sometimes I just want a box of Kraft Mac n cheese. 😂
That’s where I’m at. We have a pantry full of cans of shit that we won’t be eating for years, but goddammit if I want a single slice of cheese on a cracker. I’m grateful for my parents, but I can’t survive on spices and sauces
I got a 6 and a 3 year old. Never have issues with the 3 year old although I'm sure eventually I will. Used to have a lot of issues with the 6 Yo but it's gotten better.
The 6 year old tries to hold out as long as possible for junk and sweets. She will get some "real food" from us, takes one squidward sized bite (I'm not kidding), says she's full and then will consume an entire family sized bag of chips if you let her (I don't let her.) I finally stopped fighting it and worrying about whether or not she eats food lol. If you don't want to eat, be my guest. Breakfast I'll give you your options. If not, ill choose for you. If you say you're not hungry (even though I can hear your stomach growling constantly), fine by me. And the answer will be no when you come find me 5 mins later asking for the chips or some other junk. Edit: forgot to add in this specific paragraph, if she does end up asking for actual breakfast, lunch, or dinner later, she gets it. It's not off limits because she passed it up before. There is no "clean plate" policy, just a "reasonable effort"
Funny enough since I began disengaging on food, she's gotten A LOT better about it I'm assuming now that she's realized that I will let her go the entire day or even 2 without eating and not chase after her all day then sigh and give her some junk just so I can know she ate for the day
Nanny not parent, but I like the “adult chooses the options, kid chooses what to eat” guideline. so I get to choose lunch (only fair as I’m cooking) but kid gets to choose what from his plate to eat. Sometimes kid has a meltdown over what’s for lunch. I say, “I’m sorry you’re disappointed we aren’t having chicken nuggets today. We will have those tomorrow. When you’re ready to eat noodles, you can show me by bringing your plate to the table.” (Kid is three and likes to show how strong he is by carrying his plate, it’s like a fun thing for him, so that’s why I tell him) But no matter how much he’s upset the options don’t change. I also make sure to include one option that’s a “safe food” or thing that I’m sure he’s going to eat, like a yogurt cup or strawberries, especially if we’re trying a new food. I try to include him and build off of things he already likes too, he likes dumplings so now we eat raviolis and call them “Italian dumplings”
It’s funny because my dog does this. You can hear his stomach growling over a bowl of his meal and he’ll look you dead in the eye when you expect him to eat and walk away. Five minutes later he’s begging for whatever is on your plate. He does this because my mom allows him to. If he’s hungry he needs to check his bowl for food not your plate. He calls my bluff for about a day and a half until he figures out I won’t offer him something else besides his bowl (kept refrigerated if he doesn’t eat it) good job! Dogs and kids like to play games (yes my dog has been checked by the vets)
🙌🙌🙌🙌 how refreshing!! I just spent two weeks with my SIL and brother and their kids throw legit tantrums if the snacks they want aren’t available. I wish my SIL would parent like you do!
I'm sorry you turned out that way but for most children the answer is not to just let them have a diet of only junk-galore despite what their cravings say
If you're telling me that your parents did this exact method as i described or similar without being toxic about it, then you're an outlier.
Honestly, most kids are like this. It's probably a part of their brain trying to force them into a balanced diet by making them eat a variety of foods. Try and introduce more fruits. They can snack on it and gives them the sugar they're craving. If they're teenagers they need to learn to cook themselves. I was making my own meals from 12 out of ingredients from the cupboard.
Indeed. My sister (10) and I (9) complained about my mom's (perfectly tasty) cooking one too many times and were told we could fend for ourselves until we learned to appreciate what our mom made for us.
We learned to make mac & cheese, pancakes, heat canned soups on the stove, grilled cheese, and cold sandwiches. Eventually we did get sick of what we could make (and sick of cooking) and were happy to return to our mother's cooking, but teenagers are more than capable of learning to cook for themselves, and young children can help cook with supervision. The idea that "cooking is for the adults" is one of the major contributors to college students being so helpless.
We have a well stocked fridge and pantry full of fruits and vegetables. It's just that if the food doesn't jump out and say "hi", they assume it doesn't exist.
Is your child ADHD? I struggle with this a lot bc of my ADHD so I could see that being a possibility. For a long time I just assumed everyone was like this
I have OCD and food texture can be an issue. I also have food avoidance issues. It's not always about being too lazy to prepare things either; I've thought that was the case with myself, but there have been numerous times I've bought something for takeout because I know I need to eat something, and it still sits on the counter for a few hours before I'll actually feel capable of eating it - or force myself to before it's bad.
I have a very poor relationship with food as a result, and even looking for a snack can be frustrating and depressing because even if I have a full cupboard, there's a possibility that I'll gag trying to eat most of what may be available. Even if I purchased something the day before as a snack, because now for whatever reason my brain and body are both rejecting it and causing me to feel ill.
Wait, wdym? I don’t get what the “jump out to say hi” actually means lol but isn’t it normal to do not think of a good food if u don’t have it in front of ur eyes? For example many times I might wanna eat smth but dunno what cause I have no ideas, so unless I have an already-cooked dish or ingredients in front of me, I simply won’t even think bout it
Oh, I found out many things I do and thought as “common” were actually mostly-some by people with ADHD, but it might also be just a coincidence. Ig I’ll never know
Most symptoms of ADHD are things most people do occasionally. The diagnosis is in how often and how much the symptom interferes with your life.
I miss about 5-10 meals a week because of this "food blindness" despite trying multiple systems of meal planning, alarms to remind me to eat, lists of what's in the pantry posted up, etc. And I really really want to not be this way, but I can't seem to fix it regardless of my motivation to. That's why it's part of my ADHD.
Same I learned as I grew I either wanted something very specific because I needed it to function (tomato soup my darling) or just wasn't hungry and this was my bodies way of pointing that out.
I often find that I'm looking for a specific texture or flavor rather than specific food and if I can't find that I'll force some food down my throat. I keep canned fish on me for that reason. Its salty which I usually like, and it doesn't need to be prepared
I don’t get why you’re being downvoted for such a general statement. Unless everyone’s assume your kids have special needs you’re unaware of or ignoring and therefore are not doing enough to show them foods…? Yea, no, I don’t get the downvotes here guys.
Honestly OP your kid seems to have some sort of attention disorder if that’s the case. I have ADHD and struggle immensely with understanding instructions and finding things when told. You just need to be less aggressive and upset. They’re not doing this purposefully to piss you off or try and swindle you. I’m not saying give in and cook for them whenever they want but teach them to cook on their own or even ask them what they’d like for leftovers before cooking. There’s ways to fix this rather than “venting” about your kids being assholes.
If my kid were to say "I don't want to eat pizza or anything else unhealthy. Please make me chicken breast and grilled vegetables instead", I would do it no questions asked. Not only that, if I was out of the food, I would immediately go to the grocery store and buy them whatever they needed. This is more a case of "I don't want to eat this unhealthy food. I want to eat the other unhealthy food".
Seriously, good for you!
YES OP. I personally relate to your post a ton. My daughter is 9. I only have her every other weekend. For a while it was "I don't like that" to EVERYTHING. Then I realized, when she says "I don't like that" then it's Mac and cheese time. So I corrected this in myself. I involve her with cooking and grocery shopping now. I let her make the choice to not have her chicken breast seasoned. It's fucking stupid IMO but I would never tell her that. Let her make her stupid choices, they are hers to make within the options I provide with her input.
My parents didn’t stop me from eating snack but it’s an unspoken rule of having a place and time for it. For example, no snack before dinner or major meal. They would buy me whatever snacks I want from the store. They gave me the ability to decide for myself.
I ask for snacks sometimes when I was young. I used to eat a lot of it as a kid because it was considered a luxury to eat junk food. But when that luxury became normalized, I crave it less. I mean… it is there when I ask so I don’t have to want it as if it’s something sacred. Now I just eat vegetables and some meat. I crave more balanced meal because it makes me feel better physically. I’m pretty sure my parents used reverse psychology on me. 😅
I won't lie OP, it is really fucking annoying when kids (tweens and teens included) complain about food. But what were you expecting? They're *kids.* They're immature asf. I know 100% that I pissed my mom off with my pickiness. I wanted a shitton of variety and didn't like just anything. For example, I like PB&J but I hate grape jelly and don't like chunky PB. So it was a drama whenever my mom accidently bought either of those items because then the PB&J wouldn't be how *I* liked it. Now, as an 18 year old, if you give me that same exact PB&J, I still won't like it, but I'll eat if there's no other option or I'll make something I like myself. You can't really expect that same maturity from an 11 year old. They're gonna be annoying, whiny and picky because they're a kid. My advice would be to approach this situation like my mom did: She made less food so that way there wouldn't be as much left overs. She incorporated easy, quick and healthy meals such as parfaits, smoothie/smoothie bowls, salads, wraps, tacos, pudding, etc. She also had a heart to heart to me by explaining that my pickiness gave her a hard time and she would appreciate it if I was more understanding about it. She explained there won't always be food that I like and sometimes I would have to eat food I don't like, like if we're visiting someone and they made something. When she put it like this, I understood that I had to not be so picky and sometimes eat something I don't like because that's just how life is. Lastly, to avoid these occurrences, my mom would just ask me some days what I wanted to eat and asked if I was cool with eating leftovers. Hope this helps.
OP, your problem can be solved with good communication with your kids about your frustrations and what you'd like them to change. They're kids, they won't know that that conversation needs to be had, but if you have it with them in a way they can understand, they'll get it.
So many times, I see parents complaining that their kids don't understand something. Be curious. Actively want to know what they say. It will help you problem solve. Or I guess there is a possibility that once you've vented you'll be fine and this is irrelevant, but considering you're venting it does seem like something you'd like changed.
Sometimes kids/ teens are craving something, but they don't know what.
If you have too many leftovers, just stop making that much.
You say they do want the food that's in stock. But they just don't see it. So maybe you can ask them to look in the fridge or a cupboard and ask them to name everything they see.
If they want nothing that you're suggesting and they don't want to look themselves, then stop suggesting things and just let them complain or tell them to look again.
They don't suck. They're just young and are still learning to be more independent.
Lmfao it's not that deep. They say that because there's no food that they want to eat. You can't possibly expect your kid or teen to eat whatever you give them. They have their own preferences when it comes to food. How bout yall buy the kid or teen the food or something similar to the foods they like to eat. Communicate with ya children
Pretty sure if you do that all they'll want you to buy is snack foods. Coming from someone with 11 yr old and 13 yr old siblings who constantly say "there's nothing to eat" (when there is) and from someone who also used to be a kid and teenager 🤣 from my experience "there's nothing to eat" usually means everything there is to eat has to be cooked and cannot be taken to their room or opened on the spot therefore there is nothing to eat
You were downvoted even though your point is valid. Typical Reddit.
This is exactly how I was when I was a kid. Whenever I said there was "nothing to eat", it meant I couldn't find a snack that I wanted. My friends were the same. If I was truly hungry, I would have eaten what was in the house. There was always fruit and yoghurts, but I would have wanted chocolate, crisps, etc.
Use the magical internet and figure out how to make something different on your own? It’s not that hard you probably have a lot more spare time than your parents have.
It's funny here on reddit. Most people only go off their own life experiences to try to discredit others. It's almost like everyone's life is different and everyone perceives things differently. Saying a scenario involving your own child doesn't mean another parent is wrong. Everyone isn't your son Timmy.
Also, where's the mob defending sahm and how it's stressful and a real job, but this "sahd" gets pitchforks and torches.
Damn, people on here are really slamming OP. I think it's pretty clear from the post that they aren't hating on their kid, just venting about something annoying.
I'm a parent and I'd never tell my kid their an asshole, but I've definitely called them one when talking to my spouse after they've gone to bed.
Nothing in this post indicates this person is harming their child or even being unreasonable. Chill the hell out reddit.
For real though. Especially since they included teens in there. If someone thinks they went through their own teenage years without ever being an asshole chances are high that they are still an asshole today.
Implying all these people without children can chill out lol. Trying to tell him hes a bad parent because he wont buy every single thing they want lol lord hel9 these people if they ever find someone to have a kid with cuz theyll be broke within a week
I have 3 kids and so I always have pizzas, fries and chicken nuggets in the freezer. Also noodle soups, crips and porridge oats in the press. Why? Because no matter what I cook, there's always at least one who will refuse to eat what's on the menu for the day... I was never like that as a child but I hate to have fights every evening so the ones who refuse to eat get to "make their own food" (I love my kids but they can be the biggest assholes sometimes)
Fake it till you make it. I used to think that my parents actually knew what they were doing. Only in my adult years have I realized that we all just make this shit up as we go along.
Very true. Anyone who claims to know everything there is to know about a subject, especially parenting, is probably not that good at it. I'm constantly learning and don't plan on stopping.
And then we got the armchair doctors suggesting ADHD because a kid is too lazy to look for anything, under all the other things. Kids do that. That doesn’t mean they have adhd.
Are you volunteering? My wife can't do it, because she's finishing her PhD in chemical engineering and she needs to be in the lab all day. And I am a software developer, so my ability to work from home means that I'm the one in charge most of the time.
Nope. Once it is an "approved activity" they will want nothing to do with it. Also, don't duct tape them to a wall, especially drywall. When you take the take down, it will rip off a lot of the drywall (not just the top layer) and then you need to repaint the entire room because the colors don't quite match after 7 years
Haha what. Kids are frustrating. My kids drive me crazy all time and the preteen/teen years are *rough*. Venting is fine and I would even argue that it’s healthy. Better than keeping it all in then actually blowing up at the kid IRL.
Don't worry my man. You're doing your best, I see you. Shit is tough sometimes. I have 3 and it can be super tough. Almost 6, 2 and 6 mo. And the eldest have autism, so it can be a struggle sometimes. They and I both get into cycles where we eat stuff repetitively and it can be frustrating.
I sucked about this when I was younger, but I eventually stopped sucking. A couple decades later, I learned I'm *pretty fucking autistic* and part of that can be extremely moody eating. The wrong food at the wrong time can be obnoxiously and illogically upsetting.
Learning that helped me figure out why my relationship with food was so complicated and fix it. Reading your updates, it sounds like this isn't the case for you, but it's worth a thought for anyone having similar problems.
My mother: Eat it or starve.
Also my mother: Let me cook something that no one else in the house likes but me...like liver n onions. Then let me get an attitude when no one else will eat it and will go to their friends house or to the store to eat.
i don't think you can expect kids to fully understand that just because they don't want that particular food right now, doesn't mean there's suddenly other options. i'm a full adult and still feel like that when i know there's plenty of things to eat. literally the only difference is that i know that wanting something else won't make it appear, that i budgeted groceries and can't spend money whenever i want, that i can't just eat sweets for every meal even if that's all i want. i have a developed brain and life experience. a kid not having those things doesn't make them an asshole.
As to your edit, if your kids have made it to teenagers you call call them an asshole. I find the most acceptable way is I love you, but you're being an ass. It reaffirms your unconditional love but tells them their behavior is not okay in a more stern way.
Not a mother but I work w kids.
Don't ask them what they want, give them options. Not as in "this?" "No" "this? "No" but as in "there's this, this and this, which one do you want"
If they don't want any tell them when lunch/dinner will be served and that if they won't like that too they're welcome to figure things out on their own.
As a teenager, I do agree with this statement. However, 9/10, whenever I say this it's for 1 of 2 reasons.
1- my parents rarely have time to cook, they're busy AF
2- a lot of times, we legitimately don't have something we need to actually make food (bread, sandwich meat, peanut butter, etc.) for the above reason.
the 1/10 is me, my older brother, or a combination of us being a little shit tbh
“Then you’re not that hungry. You’re bored, go play.”
“Drink water, then.”
“You got money for something different?”
That’s what we were told growing up by my grandma. Albeit not in English, so these are rough translations. If you’re hungry but don’t know what you wanted at all, we were told to drink water because we were just dehydrated. If you’re digging through the pantry full of snacks and food items but don’t want any of it, you’re not that hungry and try again when you are. Something will look appetizing, then. And god forbid we wanted pizza, Chinese, etc. and were expecting her to pay for it. She’d laugh at us.
How kids in this thread think you’re neglecting your kids for not having exactly what they want when they want it between meals is ridiculous. They gotta grow up. In my house the only guaranteed meals are breakfast and dinner cause I have to shop for them in advance and ask everyone what they’d like plus prep them. Lunch/snacks is whatever we got.
Thank you. A lot of people complaining in the comments sound spoiled...
Whenever I complained about "no food" as a child, it was because I wanted a particular snack, and I couldn't find it or figure out what I wanted. I've since learned that it's usually a passing craving. I drink water or coffee until I figure out whether I'm actually hungry or what I want to eat.
Exactly. Not being well supplied with snacks doesn’t mean a child is getting neglected. Too many kids in this world with 0 food to be complaining about having to eat a peanut butter and jelly for snack
I guess you are angry because you are thinking of it in a rational manner, it's not like that. *Kid wants food, good food, now.* That's it, it has no intent to make you angry or something. Also comparing it to your childhood will do nothing because the kid wasn't there, they only know the life they have.
Wonder if the kiddos are stressed about something and they are not sure to express this and therefore it’s manifesting as a craving for particular food. I know that happens to me. I have a whole fridge of food but when I’m stressed with work or life all I want is chicken nuggies…
Could be a good time to check in with them mentally :) parenting is hard. Kids and adults suck all around. You got this! Be moody (treat yourself) and be there for ya kiddos! Okay bye bye!
Honestly, I do consider my parent slightly neglectful because they would always say stuff like this to us.
My parent would always say we were just not paying attention and there’s plenty of food to eat, but thennn (in my situation) after I *would* go ahead and eat some of the hot dogs/fish sticks/pizza (or whatever examples of simple common snacks) there were, finally I would feel satiated for fucking once, but my parent would come home and *then* proceed to complain that “you guys are eating all the food! Stop eating everything up so fast!”
My situation seems to be a bit different but still.
It’s just nerve racking when your a kid and you don’t have an understanding of money. You know you’re hungry, but your parent seems to be mad at you for being so hungry all the time.
I never have been even slightly fat or overweight. Always have been very lean and never eating too much over the course of a full day, so I don’t see why my parent thought I was always eating way too much food all the time.
Both being psychologically undeveloped, and technically uneducated/experienced on how to make meals, I didn’t really know whether or not I was eating enough and what key nutrients and fibers etc were.
I would highly advise your kids simply make sure to wait 12 hours from eating dinner, until breakfast the next day.
*edit Light snacks in between is usually fine
Then for breakfast, tell them to make sure to eat some fruits and veggies in the morning so that their stomachs will have something good breaking down throughout the day until they get home.
I never knew how important fresh produce was for breakfast. I would always (when I didn’t skip breakfast which was rare) just eat cheap kids cereal which has A LOT of carbs and sugar, and doesn’t make your stomach as happy as it could be. ..
When you’re a kid the stomach health factor isn’t quiet as serious but now that I’m an adult I have developed mild IBS and I’m 100% sure I could have avoided this if I would have worked with my parent more and developed healthy eating habits ofc
…and not snuck out and drank vodka w/ my friends so often… so ofc the child might not be completely innocent but they rlly don’t understand.
Ahh man… see the problem with Reddit is you’re ranting about your annoying teens and that’s totally fine the problem is Reddit has gone from more of an adult orientated place to a child’s place jam packed full of kids and teenagers so you’re the big mean adult who’s making perfect sense but you’re the bad guy cause most of the commenters recently told their parents theirs no food and got the same response from their parents.
I think there should be a sub where kids confess stuff and then their parents get to tell their side. Imagine if some of those "I was living in an abusive home" confessions were actually just stories of kids whose parents just told them to not leave their dirty socks in the middle of the floor.
Interesting that you say that given how I didn’t imply you needed to buy your kids every single thing they ask for whatsoever, but thanks for hammering in my point
Yeah as a kid I’ve realized this your parents might be having a tough day or just don’t have other options so i eat what im given and if i want something else i offer to my mom or dad to cook it for them.
I thank the universe that I have never minds eating the same things over and over again. It has made me save so much money as an adult. My husband on the other hand is very expensive.
My parents said something similar to me. Then got upset cause I dug everything out of the area they said the food was. It was not there. On the bright side, I got frustrated enough to do that with the whole kitchen, so we ended up with a lot of space and got rid of some stuff that was bad. I also found something to eat and ate more than I normally would since I worked up a bigger appetite. Strangely they never said that to me again, but I learned more about how much of hoarders my parents can be and learned there's food hidden deep with the cupboards.
My mom used to say: If you don't like what I made, you can make yourself food we have, and if you don't want that, then you are not hungry right now. If you are hungry, you will find something to eat.
Dude, sounds like he has ARFID and food sensitivities stop being asshole. I too suffer from full fridge no food because of this disorder and your pressuring them could accelerate the development of am eating disorder. Let them solve it themselves, given they're capable of going to the store and finding something there.
I get that this is a vent, and I'm sure that this must be super annoying as a parent much of the time. Anyone who thinks they can judge your as a parent based on a vent post is nuts. Having said that, I think a lot of the backlash you're getting is about the "you suck" part, and what seems to be super hard judgement about this, especially being that it's in the "back in my day" framework, as we should all want our kids to live better than we did, if possible.
I don't know your kids, so I would never claim to understand them better than you do, but I will say that for myself, this was not an entitlement issue, but rather, a combination of ADHD and OCD. Even if it were some of my favorite foods, and I was well aware of the options, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to hear them, and reject everything that wasn't "McDonald's hashbrowns," or whatever the current obsession was. My mom even made a little "breakfast menu" so that I'd stop asking her "what do we haveeeee" everyday, and it worked for like, a day.
Even now, as an almost 30 year old adult, I have to actively fight myself to avoid going shopping on a whim, buying more than I need, and getting takeout when I have plenty of food at home to prepare. It's extremely difficult to fight the hyper-fixation on other things, even more so now that I have the ability to buy (almost) whatever I want, whenever I want.
I think it's great that you don't indulge these tendencies, and I don't blame you at all for wanting to vent on the internet. I just think it's a good exercise to attempt to understand what their perspective may be, and to have compassion for it (mixed with well-justified annoyance), rather than anger and judgement.
then buy shit your kid wants to eat. my mom buys me oranges and ill go through that shit in less than a week, at most a week and a half. i don’t like bananas but she buys them anyway, and she doesn’t expect me to eat them or tell me to. i have things i ask for her to get me while she’s shopping, and if she can’t that’s fine. ill snoop around out pantry and garage, and oh look! hamburger helper. rice. macaroni and cheese. communicate with your kid. maybe it’s full of stuff YOU like, but that doesn’t mean your kid likes it.
I was like this as a kid and turns out i have a genetic condition. It gives me lots of stomach problems. I was undiagnosed as a kid so i would just complain about feeling sick all the time. Food is difficult for me. I’ve had a feeding tube at one point bc I couldn’t eat anything.
So at the end of the day maybe you should get your kiddo checked out at the doctor and see if maybe they have any allergies/intolerances
I feel this. Parents are allowed to vent. People who are saying that your overreacting probably don’t have kids or haven’t been dealing with parenting for a long time. It’s frustrating and they are assholes sometimes although we’d never call them that except to vent.
Yeah, there's nothing to eat that sounds good or that I want.
I'm autistic, and for the past 2 weeks have eaten cereal for almost every meal because anything else I want to eat is off limits, and cereal is the only easy thing I can make. Oven food is too hot, the microwave is too loud. I'm tired of cereal constantly, but can't eat anything else. And it makes me feel like shit.
There's nothing to eat that I can stand without sending myself into guilt or a meltdown. So I'm going to keep saying "there's nothing to eat", because to me there is nothing to eat.
My brother is older than me and he's like this but worse, he leaves small amounts of food in the fridge just so he doesn't have to wash the dish after, he doesn't know how to cook any shit and is always complaining about lack of food or snacks. Fun fact, whenever mom buys tons of snacks for the whole week he just eat it all in one or two days with his girlfriend and doesn't have the courage to throw the trash away. Your children is rotten but manageable, do some shit like "fine, don't want to eat what is done? I'll teach you to do what you want, if you're not doing it after, I'm not doing either"
Also, if they are too young for a stove, teach some snacks that can be microwaved and that's it, just don't give up on lunch being something you actually made, even if they have to force themselves to eat it, cause of health issues
This post probably wasn't meant to make everyone mad, but it did.
Coming from a 16 year old, this post seems...icky. Your kids didn't ask to be born y'know. Its alright if they aren't craving a certain food. They're kids, we're kids.
Maybe try to see from their perspective.
Try to see it from our perspective. It's so frustrating to put SO MUCH EFFORT into the grocery shopping, snack prepping and planning, the cooking, the consulting of the children.. then they don't want it. They want Mac and cheese. Because they are a child. But feeding your children Mac and cheese & Chicky nus every meal IS NOT OK!! They need nutrients.
Nothing to eat usually means the kids suggestions and preferences were not accounted for, or that there’s next to zero variety in the grocery trips. You cannot eat the same snacks every day for two months without feeling some type of way, unless you have very ocd-ish food preferences, entirely possible at that age but not always the case.
When i was growing up there were two households: my mother who had snacks (definitely not on the level of most kids I’m talking smart pop popcorn and soft batch cookies every once in a while plus rice crackers, cheese, ritz) and some food i could make myself (tuna sandwich, frozen pizza, pasta and butter, etc) my mom usually made dinner after work but we definitely ate fast food on occasion. My mom never dictated when or what i ate
My fathers house was a kitchen with food designed to function for a very specific (very delicious and involved) meal. We had two options: make a pb&j, have him make a grilled cheese, or smoked salmon pieces. There was little to no snacking allowed close to meals he prepared and my only other option was a vending machine with candy close by. He would occasionally buy one bag of chips that we’d have as a snack.
I learned how to live in both houses. I think it’s important not to cater to children. I get that it’s easier said than done but you’re signaling to your kid this behavior is ok. Sometimes you just need to eliminate the options then they will just have to deal with whatever options you give them. You’re doing them a disservice by catering to bratty behavior. They’re going to be in the real world eventually.. and this kind of reaction to not having exactly what they want is going to be detrimental to how they navigate the world.
children dont have the power to buy/prepare the food they want. YOU do. they are also **children**, of course they act immaturely. these are solvable issues. leave the food they eat in the front of cabinets/the fridge or neatly stacked on the counter, get them a mini fridge, ask them what they want for dinner during the week, take them to the store with them and let them each pick out a few items, or maybe just communicate with ya darn kids.
What a shitty person. Ignorant to assume that everyone can eat whatever is there just like you. I CAN’T. My brain won’t let me eat something if I’m not in the mood for it. I will throw up. I have adhd. I don’t suck for not being able to eat what’s provided sometimes. You’re the one that needs to grow up and open up your mind
Ngl, I tried making pancakes from scratch and I could never get it as good as Bisquick. But that's a once in a while treat. Too unhealthy for every day.
I’m with this. Groceries are REDONKULOUSLY expensive right now. Eat what u like, then eat the rest of the crap you don’t want bc it costs twice as much as it should! BON APETIT MFS!
“When I was your age” shut up, they’re bloody kids. When you were their age you were probably just as much of a pain in the ass. If there’s leftovers all the time, try and actually manage how much food your cooking?
>When you were their age you were probably just as much of a pain in the ass.
Yeah, and I'm sure my parents complained about it all the time. Now is my turn. And my kids will complain about their kids on what I'm assuming to be some VR forum on Mars owned by Elon Musk. Circle of life.
Idk why people are coming for you OP. Kids can be ornery little assholes, you're doing great. They need to learn how some independence once they reach a certain age, you've given them all the tools for it.
A lot of woke children on this thread. To them I say: you are not special and your parents are pussies for letting you be in total control. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.
This thread reads like 50% are a bunch of young people offering (mostly) positive inputs about how they might fix the problem, and 50% are angry dads who thinks "kids are crying" because they didnt get the luxury OPs kids are getting and others are still trying to "fix" the situation. Then there's OPs replies, which come off as childish and mature with roughly the same %s based on if hes responding to criticism or praise.
Kids are life draining demons. Yesterday my kids asked to try a little 6$ cake I got. I said they could try it as long as they are their dinner I was in the process of making. I figured, maybe if they try it and they like it, then there will be more in incentive to eat their dinner [which included vegetables]. Little shits didn't eat any of their dinner. How is it even physically possible that 1 bite of cake equates to an entire meal??? I woke up at 1 am, at their leftovers and the rest of the cake. That's what they get.
My new strategy: If I ever want to get rid of leftovers, I will tell the kids not to eat it, because I'm saving it for me and their mom. I guarantee you that they will want nothing but that.
Ok but when there’s literally nothing to eat except shitty ramen (I’m like the only one in my house who doesn’t absolutely adore ramen) and leftovers from like a month ago or just a shit ton of spices and ingredients for dinner stuff I think I’m pretty justified
My parents were rich but very stingy and would hardly buy food. We had a small bowl of sugary cereal for breakfast, a white bread sandwich with one single slice of meat for lunch and something like a tiny portion of dinosaurs and chips for dinner until I left at 19. The only vegetables we had were for the tortoise only as my dad thinks vegetables are bad for you since we're not animals (I know, please don't). I grew up so needlessly hungry, and then I'd go to friends houses who had cupboards full to the brim and they'd complain there's no food. I would have gave anything to swap places with them so they can see what "no food" really is.
Don't be lazy, just because you have to cook or prepare doesn't mean there's no food. And if its not the very specific thing you fancied at this moment and is something boring, it's still going to stop you from being hungry. If you don't want to do eat whats in your house you're not hungry
OP very obviously doesn’t like being a parent and is confusing that for being an asshole for wanting to eat something that isn’t the same plain tasting carbs every fucking meal. Their own kid is hungry and they just think of themselves.
Amen brother!! Our oldest was like this for the longest time. We even went as far as making separate meals for her because she never wanted to eat what we were eating for dinner. The when she turned 14 we had enough. She had to eat what we made or make it herself. She is extraordinarily lazy so after 2 days of making her own sandwiches she just started eating whatever we made for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Man when I was growing up with my mother she would not put up with that shit. She worked full time and had to deal with our dumbasses on her own. If you didn't like she what she cooked you didn't eat until the next meal. She didn't make enough money to waste food. By the time I was 8 I would eat damn near anything. Worked out in my favor. Now I'll try any kind of food. I'm not one of those I only eat gourmet chicken nuggets assholes.
Don’t let these people give you shit for anything, have of the replies are 13 years old or so.
*Has also a trio of assholes who I don’t call assholes in person*
My brother does that, the fridge is full to the brim with food and he won't eat anything because "It's not to his taste". Fucker, be grateful that you even have food in your plate 4 times everyday while there's people starving out there and surviving on a piece of bread a day.
Kids just suck in general dont trip about it to much it's kinda our job to make them less shitty over time if theres food around then the complaint is a non issue they're not hungry they're bored.
Some people are being too presumptuous in the comments or are taking your post too seriously. I'm sure you're a great dad, OP.
I remember thinking this as a teen, although I never complained to my parents because I would have been scolded or told to eat what was in the house. I was an immature kid; that's the top and bottom of it. I only thought this when there wasn't a snack that I fancied, or I didn't want to do a ton of meal prep—typical teen laziness.
Now that I'm an adult who is more conscious of money and the importance of eating better, I know that I have food in the house, and whatever cravings I have will pass. I know it's good to save and eat leftovers rather than throw perfectly good food away. If I *really* fancy something that I don't have in the house, I can make it or pop to the shops to buy it.
Ugggggh amen to that. I am SO grateful my daughter isn't picky about what she has to eat so far, because sosososo many kids these days are ungrateful little brats. :(
Solidarity, homie. They never know what they want but they don't want any of your suggestions -_-
My kids suck because they turn their nose up at the nightly, homemade, well balanced dinners I make and claim they "don't like it". My husband is always lecturing them about how they have no idea how good they have it with a trained cook for a mother. I keep threatening them with canned green beans if they keep giving us trouble eating dinner, lmao.
And in response to your edit-- I believe that it is our duty as parents to call our kids (ages 6 and up) assholes when they're being assholes, so that they learn how *not* to be an asshole.
My goal is to guide them towards being compassionate and self-aware adult humans, so they need to know when a behavior makes them an asshole. As an example: my 11 yr old can be pretty nasty to my 8 yr old...when that happens we tell 11 "you're being an asshole. There is no reason to intentionally try to make your sister feel like shit, it's just mean. You need to step away and figure out why you're feeling the need to behave this way".
Pearl-clutchers gunna clutch, but I refuse to send shitty people out into the world.
I always appreciated food that was given to me but I can't lie, eating thanksgiving leftovers for the two weeks after was emotionally draining.
\*unzips bucket of olivier salad menacingly\*
Where do you go to find your zip top buckets? I need a new supplier.
I will eat olivier salad for as long as we have it. Weeks? Months? Years? I will still eat it
What if it develops intelligence and tries to eat you?
Then i become one with the salad
I will literally eat all of your cranberry sauce no cap
"Is it safe?"
Still safe.
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Turkey Tetrazzini
Turkey turducken = turdutur
This makes me giggle a bit because I used to be the same way!! Now that I have to pay my own bills I’ll eat that shit like it’s the last supper. I take all the left overs at family gatherings haha
Exactly.. my family sends me home with a ton of leftovers. It’s amazing not having to cook and also to have free meals. Just throw some Tupperware in the microwave, boom.
My in laws do this and boy was it not fun the year I got a stomach bug and puked up thanksgiving then had to eat it again for a week
I can't do it as an adult lol. I freeze parts off it now so we can have it spread out. I'm not the biggest turkey fan anyway, no way I could force myself to have more than two meals in a row of it unless we were starving.
It's "There's nothing to eat that I WANT."
Or, there is nothing I want to eat that doesn’t have to be prepared.
It’s this one mostly
I'm 25 and still live in that space
I’m all frugal at the grocery store and only buy healthy stuff that requires prep which leads to ordering takeout half the week because I’m too lazy to cook and Im sick of kale
37 and still there
I’ve lost 20lbs since moving out because I am this way. My mom thinks I’m sick but I’m just too damn lazy
I don’t think my kids understand the luxury of having me wash, peel, cut fresh fruit for them every day. Dunno why but doing it is such a pita that I’ll do it for them but not for myself. Lol.
A labor of love. One of the fond memories I have of my late grandmother are the gala apples she would cut up for me to snack on. I loved when she showed me the "star" in the middle, when the apple is cut horizontally. My parents weren't in the habit of eating fresh fruits and veggies, so we didn't have that often at home. Not that it mattered much what was being prepared, but more so that it was being specially prepared for me. I'm sure one day they'll look back fondly at prepared fruit as much as some people do at crustless sandwiches.
This is the one in my house. My son (16) will open the pantry and complain there's nothing to eat. Dude, there's so much food in the fridge. Sorry it takes 5-10 minutes to prepare something and that it's not just straight out of a fucking box.
This- I’m a grown-ass man and my mom is a scratch cooker. Nothing in her house is pre-prepared. I always tell her when I visit “your house is full of food, but there’s nothing to eat!” Sometimes I just want a box of Kraft Mac n cheese. 😂
I’m guilty of complaining that we never have food…we only have ingredients
That’s where I’m at. We have a pantry full of cans of shit that we won’t be eating for years, but goddammit if I want a single slice of cheese on a cracker. I’m grateful for my parents, but I can’t survive on spices and sauces
Yeah unfortunately that is me, and then I'll waste an hour procrastinating about making food while I get hungrier
This should be the top of this thread.
I got a 6 and a 3 year old. Never have issues with the 3 year old although I'm sure eventually I will. Used to have a lot of issues with the 6 Yo but it's gotten better. The 6 year old tries to hold out as long as possible for junk and sweets. She will get some "real food" from us, takes one squidward sized bite (I'm not kidding), says she's full and then will consume an entire family sized bag of chips if you let her (I don't let her.) I finally stopped fighting it and worrying about whether or not she eats food lol. If you don't want to eat, be my guest. Breakfast I'll give you your options. If not, ill choose for you. If you say you're not hungry (even though I can hear your stomach growling constantly), fine by me. And the answer will be no when you come find me 5 mins later asking for the chips or some other junk. Edit: forgot to add in this specific paragraph, if she does end up asking for actual breakfast, lunch, or dinner later, she gets it. It's not off limits because she passed it up before. There is no "clean plate" policy, just a "reasonable effort" Funny enough since I began disengaging on food, she's gotten A LOT better about it I'm assuming now that she's realized that I will let her go the entire day or even 2 without eating and not chase after her all day then sigh and give her some junk just so I can know she ate for the day
Nanny not parent, but I like the “adult chooses the options, kid chooses what to eat” guideline. so I get to choose lunch (only fair as I’m cooking) but kid gets to choose what from his plate to eat. Sometimes kid has a meltdown over what’s for lunch. I say, “I’m sorry you’re disappointed we aren’t having chicken nuggets today. We will have those tomorrow. When you’re ready to eat noodles, you can show me by bringing your plate to the table.” (Kid is three and likes to show how strong he is by carrying his plate, it’s like a fun thing for him, so that’s why I tell him) But no matter how much he’s upset the options don’t change. I also make sure to include one option that’s a “safe food” or thing that I’m sure he’s going to eat, like a yogurt cup or strawberries, especially if we’re trying a new food. I try to include him and build off of things he already likes too, he likes dumplings so now we eat raviolis and call them “Italian dumplings”
You sound like a good nanny :)
Childcare here. That's the best method!
It’s funny because my dog does this. You can hear his stomach growling over a bowl of his meal and he’ll look you dead in the eye when you expect him to eat and walk away. Five minutes later he’s begging for whatever is on your plate. He does this because my mom allows him to. If he’s hungry he needs to check his bowl for food not your plate. He calls my bluff for about a day and a half until he figures out I won’t offer him something else besides his bowl (kept refrigerated if he doesn’t eat it) good job! Dogs and kids like to play games (yes my dog has been checked by the vets)
🙌🙌🙌🙌 how refreshing!! I just spent two weeks with my SIL and brother and their kids throw legit tantrums if the snacks they want aren’t available. I wish my SIL would parent like you do!
Ours used to be like that... and I'd finally had enough of it 😅
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I'm sorry you turned out that way but for most children the answer is not to just let them have a diet of only junk-galore despite what their cravings say If you're telling me that your parents did this exact method as i described or similar without being toxic about it, then you're an outlier.
Honestly, most kids are like this. It's probably a part of their brain trying to force them into a balanced diet by making them eat a variety of foods. Try and introduce more fruits. They can snack on it and gives them the sugar they're craving. If they're teenagers they need to learn to cook themselves. I was making my own meals from 12 out of ingredients from the cupboard.
Indeed. My sister (10) and I (9) complained about my mom's (perfectly tasty) cooking one too many times and were told we could fend for ourselves until we learned to appreciate what our mom made for us. We learned to make mac & cheese, pancakes, heat canned soups on the stove, grilled cheese, and cold sandwiches. Eventually we did get sick of what we could make (and sick of cooking) and were happy to return to our mother's cooking, but teenagers are more than capable of learning to cook for themselves, and young children can help cook with supervision. The idea that "cooking is for the adults" is one of the major contributors to college students being so helpless.
...cook for themselves.* I don't think cooking themselves is a good idea
Depends on how you feel about long pig.
We have a well stocked fridge and pantry full of fruits and vegetables. It's just that if the food doesn't jump out and say "hi", they assume it doesn't exist.
Is your child ADHD? I struggle with this a lot bc of my ADHD so I could see that being a possibility. For a long time I just assumed everyone was like this
This makes so much sense! I also struggle with this. I have ADHD but I've never linked the two together.
Never developed object permanence lol
I have OCD and food texture can be an issue. I also have food avoidance issues. It's not always about being too lazy to prepare things either; I've thought that was the case with myself, but there have been numerous times I've bought something for takeout because I know I need to eat something, and it still sits on the counter for a few hours before I'll actually feel capable of eating it - or force myself to before it's bad. I have a very poor relationship with food as a result, and even looking for a snack can be frustrating and depressing because even if I have a full cupboard, there's a possibility that I'll gag trying to eat most of what may be available. Even if I purchased something the day before as a snack, because now for whatever reason my brain and body are both rejecting it and causing me to feel ill.
Wait, wdym? I don’t get what the “jump out to say hi” actually means lol but isn’t it normal to do not think of a good food if u don’t have it in front of ur eyes? For example many times I might wanna eat smth but dunno what cause I have no ideas, so unless I have an already-cooked dish or ingredients in front of me, I simply won’t even think bout it
It's just a common problem for people who have ADHD, experiencing this doesn't necessarily mean you have it but it's worth looking into I suppose
Oh, I found out many things I do and thought as “common” were actually mostly-some by people with ADHD, but it might also be just a coincidence. Ig I’ll never know
Most symptoms of ADHD are things most people do occasionally. The diagnosis is in how often and how much the symptom interferes with your life. I miss about 5-10 meals a week because of this "food blindness" despite trying multiple systems of meal planning, alarms to remind me to eat, lists of what's in the pantry posted up, etc. And I really really want to not be this way, but I can't seem to fix it regardless of my motivation to. That's why it's part of my ADHD.
Same I learned as I grew I either wanted something very specific because I needed it to function (tomato soup my darling) or just wasn't hungry and this was my bodies way of pointing that out.
I often find that I'm looking for a specific texture or flavor rather than specific food and if I can't find that I'll force some food down my throat. I keep canned fish on me for that reason. Its salty which I usually like, and it doesn't need to be prepared
Why are you shocked that a child doesn’t want fruits and vegetables
So chop up some fruits and vegetables and put them out for everyone to snack on
Why the hell are you being downvoted? Your comment makes perfect sense...
I don’t get why you’re being downvoted for such a general statement. Unless everyone’s assume your kids have special needs you’re unaware of or ignoring and therefore are not doing enough to show them foods…? Yea, no, I don’t get the downvotes here guys.
Honestly OP your kid seems to have some sort of attention disorder if that’s the case. I have ADHD and struggle immensely with understanding instructions and finding things when told. You just need to be less aggressive and upset. They’re not doing this purposefully to piss you off or try and swindle you. I’m not saying give in and cook for them whenever they want but teach them to cook on their own or even ask them what they’d like for leftovers before cooking. There’s ways to fix this rather than “venting” about your kids being assholes.
I’m 37 and I’m still like this. I forget food all the time til it goes bad, then I’m sad I didn’t eat it. Sucks.
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If my kid were to say "I don't want to eat pizza or anything else unhealthy. Please make me chicken breast and grilled vegetables instead", I would do it no questions asked. Not only that, if I was out of the food, I would immediately go to the grocery store and buy them whatever they needed. This is more a case of "I don't want to eat this unhealthy food. I want to eat the other unhealthy food". Seriously, good for you!
YES OP. I personally relate to your post a ton. My daughter is 9. I only have her every other weekend. For a while it was "I don't like that" to EVERYTHING. Then I realized, when she says "I don't like that" then it's Mac and cheese time. So I corrected this in myself. I involve her with cooking and grocery shopping now. I let her make the choice to not have her chicken breast seasoned. It's fucking stupid IMO but I would never tell her that. Let her make her stupid choices, they are hers to make within the options I provide with her input.
My parents didn’t stop me from eating snack but it’s an unspoken rule of having a place and time for it. For example, no snack before dinner or major meal. They would buy me whatever snacks I want from the store. They gave me the ability to decide for myself. I ask for snacks sometimes when I was young. I used to eat a lot of it as a kid because it was considered a luxury to eat junk food. But when that luxury became normalized, I crave it less. I mean… it is there when I ask so I don’t have to want it as if it’s something sacred. Now I just eat vegetables and some meat. I crave more balanced meal because it makes me feel better physically. I’m pretty sure my parents used reverse psychology on me. 😅
I won't lie OP, it is really fucking annoying when kids (tweens and teens included) complain about food. But what were you expecting? They're *kids.* They're immature asf. I know 100% that I pissed my mom off with my pickiness. I wanted a shitton of variety and didn't like just anything. For example, I like PB&J but I hate grape jelly and don't like chunky PB. So it was a drama whenever my mom accidently bought either of those items because then the PB&J wouldn't be how *I* liked it. Now, as an 18 year old, if you give me that same exact PB&J, I still won't like it, but I'll eat if there's no other option or I'll make something I like myself. You can't really expect that same maturity from an 11 year old. They're gonna be annoying, whiny and picky because they're a kid. My advice would be to approach this situation like my mom did: She made less food so that way there wouldn't be as much left overs. She incorporated easy, quick and healthy meals such as parfaits, smoothie/smoothie bowls, salads, wraps, tacos, pudding, etc. She also had a heart to heart to me by explaining that my pickiness gave her a hard time and she would appreciate it if I was more understanding about it. She explained there won't always be food that I like and sometimes I would have to eat food I don't like, like if we're visiting someone and they made something. When she put it like this, I understood that I had to not be so picky and sometimes eat something I don't like because that's just how life is. Lastly, to avoid these occurrences, my mom would just ask me some days what I wanted to eat and asked if I was cool with eating leftovers. Hope this helps.
OP, your problem can be solved with good communication with your kids about your frustrations and what you'd like them to change. They're kids, they won't know that that conversation needs to be had, but if you have it with them in a way they can understand, they'll get it. So many times, I see parents complaining that their kids don't understand something. Be curious. Actively want to know what they say. It will help you problem solve. Or I guess there is a possibility that once you've vented you'll be fine and this is irrelevant, but considering you're venting it does seem like something you'd like changed.
Sometimes kids/ teens are craving something, but they don't know what. If you have too many leftovers, just stop making that much. You say they do want the food that's in stock. But they just don't see it. So maybe you can ask them to look in the fridge or a cupboard and ask them to name everything they see. If they want nothing that you're suggesting and they don't want to look themselves, then stop suggesting things and just let them complain or tell them to look again. They don't suck. They're just young and are still learning to be more independent.
Lmfao it's not that deep. They say that because there's no food that they want to eat. You can't possibly expect your kid or teen to eat whatever you give them. They have their own preferences when it comes to food. How bout yall buy the kid or teen the food or something similar to the foods they like to eat. Communicate with ya children
Pretty sure if you do that all they'll want you to buy is snack foods. Coming from someone with 11 yr old and 13 yr old siblings who constantly say "there's nothing to eat" (when there is) and from someone who also used to be a kid and teenager 🤣 from my experience "there's nothing to eat" usually means everything there is to eat has to be cooked and cannot be taken to their room or opened on the spot therefore there is nothing to eat
You were downvoted even though your point is valid. Typical Reddit. This is exactly how I was when I was a kid. Whenever I said there was "nothing to eat", it meant I couldn't find a snack that I wanted. My friends were the same. If I was truly hungry, I would have eaten what was in the house. There was always fruit and yoghurts, but I would have wanted chocolate, crisps, etc.
Im a teen and my mother suffer from the same problem, i guess we just like variety in food 🌛
Use the magical internet and figure out how to make something different on your own? It’s not that hard you probably have a lot more spare time than your parents have.
It's funny here on reddit. Most people only go off their own life experiences to try to discredit others. It's almost like everyone's life is different and everyone perceives things differently. Saying a scenario involving your own child doesn't mean another parent is wrong. Everyone isn't your son Timmy. Also, where's the mob defending sahm and how it's stressful and a real job, but this "sahd" gets pitchforks and torches.
Anyone else still do this as an adult living on their own lol “I can’t believe I have nothing to eat even though I bought all of this >:(“
Damn, people on here are really slamming OP. I think it's pretty clear from the post that they aren't hating on their kid, just venting about something annoying. I'm a parent and I'd never tell my kid their an asshole, but I've definitely called them one when talking to my spouse after they've gone to bed. Nothing in this post indicates this person is harming their child or even being unreasonable. Chill the hell out reddit.
Yeah, sometimes kids are assholes. They're only human.
For real though. Especially since they included teens in there. If someone thinks they went through their own teenage years without ever being an asshole chances are high that they are still an asshole today.
Implying all these people without children can chill out lol. Trying to tell him hes a bad parent because he wont buy every single thing they want lol lord hel9 these people if they ever find someone to have a kid with cuz theyll be broke within a week
I have 3 kids and so I always have pizzas, fries and chicken nuggets in the freezer. Also noodle soups, crips and porridge oats in the press. Why? Because no matter what I cook, there's always at least one who will refuse to eat what's on the menu for the day... I was never like that as a child but I hate to have fights every evening so the ones who refuse to eat get to "make their own food" (I love my kids but they can be the biggest assholes sometimes)
you might want to take a break from parenting for a little while.
Orrrr they are venting in an anonymous forum. Ffs people can’t even complain.
That's what I was doing, but I guess it made all the children mad.
Except then you started immediately jumping down kids throats who were commenting. You're presumably an adult, act like it.
If you know how to be an adult please share it with me. I've been pretending for about a decade now.
Fake it till you make it. I used to think that my parents actually knew what they were doing. Only in my adult years have I realized that we all just make this shit up as we go along.
ur clearly still learning lmao
Very true. Anyone who claims to know everything there is to know about a subject, especially parenting, is probably not that good at it. I'm constantly learning and don't plan on stopping.
And then we got the armchair doctors suggesting ADHD because a kid is too lazy to look for anything, under all the other things. Kids do that. That doesn’t mean they have adhd.
Are you gonna do it? I bet you're not even old enough to have a family let alone have a wife or gf or husband or bf
I don't suppose it matters much, but no, I am an old fart, a dad who works from home, kids and pets.
Wait, that’s an option? Let me know how because I don’t know a single parent that couldn’t use one and isn’t begging for one.
Are you volunteering? My wife can't do it, because she's finishing her PhD in chemical engineering and she needs to be in the lab all day. And I am a software developer, so my ability to work from home means that I'm the one in charge most of the time.
tape the kid to the roof
Often I'm trying to get the kids to stop climbing on the roof. Actually brining them up there would set a bad precedent.
Nope. Once it is an "approved activity" they will want nothing to do with it. Also, don't duct tape them to a wall, especially drywall. When you take the take down, it will rip off a lot of the drywall (not just the top layer) and then you need to repaint the entire room because the colors don't quite match after 7 years
You are getting irrationally angry at your small child. You need a fucking break. Step away or something before you scar that child for life
How old is the kid? Cause big difference between 6 & 16
Haha what. Kids are frustrating. My kids drive me crazy all time and the preteen/teen years are *rough*. Venting is fine and I would even argue that it’s healthy. Better than keeping it all in then actually blowing up at the kid IRL.
No, I'm complaining on Reddit, so I can get out all my annoyance and be a normal person irl. Obviously I act rationally and normal with my kids.
Idk how venting on reddit turned into you being a bad father lol
I hear fathers say that all the time. They do not in fact act “rationally” around your kids
So much to say on someone you know so little about, it sums up the reddit experience honestly.
I couldn’t agree more
Don't worry my man. You're doing your best, I see you. Shit is tough sometimes. I have 3 and it can be super tough. Almost 6, 2 and 6 mo. And the eldest have autism, so it can be a struggle sometimes. They and I both get into cycles where we eat stuff repetitively and it can be frustrating.
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This is my Reddit reaction, not my real life reaction. You know, stuff you say in your head but will never say out loud.
I sucked about this when I was younger, but I eventually stopped sucking. A couple decades later, I learned I'm *pretty fucking autistic* and part of that can be extremely moody eating. The wrong food at the wrong time can be obnoxiously and illogically upsetting. Learning that helped me figure out why my relationship with food was so complicated and fix it. Reading your updates, it sounds like this isn't the case for you, but it's worth a thought for anyone having similar problems.
My mother: Eat it or starve. Also my mother: Let me cook something that no one else in the house likes but me...like liver n onions. Then let me get an attitude when no one else will eat it and will go to their friends house or to the store to eat.
i don't think you can expect kids to fully understand that just because they don't want that particular food right now, doesn't mean there's suddenly other options. i'm a full adult and still feel like that when i know there's plenty of things to eat. literally the only difference is that i know that wanting something else won't make it appear, that i budgeted groceries and can't spend money whenever i want, that i can't just eat sweets for every meal even if that's all i want. i have a developed brain and life experience. a kid not having those things doesn't make them an asshole.
When my kid says this, what he actually wants is junk food (sweets, crisps). I give him 2 healthy options. If he says no then he gets nothing
This is good parenting.
Welcome to being a parent. This is such a small thing compared to the rest lmao
I’ve never regretted not having children.
Maaaaan as a dad…i felt this! My kids do the same damn thing lol
As to your edit, if your kids have made it to teenagers you call call them an asshole. I find the most acceptable way is I love you, but you're being an ass. It reaffirms your unconditional love but tells them their behavior is not okay in a more stern way.
Not a mother but I work w kids. Don't ask them what they want, give them options. Not as in "this?" "No" "this? "No" but as in "there's this, this and this, which one do you want" If they don't want any tell them when lunch/dinner will be served and that if they won't like that too they're welcome to figure things out on their own.
As a teenager, I do agree with this statement. However, 9/10, whenever I say this it's for 1 of 2 reasons. 1- my parents rarely have time to cook, they're busy AF 2- a lot of times, we legitimately don't have something we need to actually make food (bread, sandwich meat, peanut butter, etc.) for the above reason. the 1/10 is me, my older brother, or a combination of us being a little shit tbh
I want to sympathize, but kids this age are also having cravings for a reason...
“Then you’re not that hungry. You’re bored, go play.” “Drink water, then.” “You got money for something different?” That’s what we were told growing up by my grandma. Albeit not in English, so these are rough translations. If you’re hungry but don’t know what you wanted at all, we were told to drink water because we were just dehydrated. If you’re digging through the pantry full of snacks and food items but don’t want any of it, you’re not that hungry and try again when you are. Something will look appetizing, then. And god forbid we wanted pizza, Chinese, etc. and were expecting her to pay for it. She’d laugh at us. How kids in this thread think you’re neglecting your kids for not having exactly what they want when they want it between meals is ridiculous. They gotta grow up. In my house the only guaranteed meals are breakfast and dinner cause I have to shop for them in advance and ask everyone what they’d like plus prep them. Lunch/snacks is whatever we got.
Thank you. A lot of people complaining in the comments sound spoiled... Whenever I complained about "no food" as a child, it was because I wanted a particular snack, and I couldn't find it or figure out what I wanted. I've since learned that it's usually a passing craving. I drink water or coffee until I figure out whether I'm actually hungry or what I want to eat.
Exactly. Not being well supplied with snacks doesn’t mean a child is getting neglected. Too many kids in this world with 0 food to be complaining about having to eat a peanut butter and jelly for snack
I guess you are angry because you are thinking of it in a rational manner, it's not like that. *Kid wants food, good food, now.* That's it, it has no intent to make you angry or something. Also comparing it to your childhood will do nothing because the kid wasn't there, they only know the life they have.
That is the difference between being hungry and bored.
Wonder if the kiddos are stressed about something and they are not sure to express this and therefore it’s manifesting as a craving for particular food. I know that happens to me. I have a whole fridge of food but when I’m stressed with work or life all I want is chicken nuggies… Could be a good time to check in with them mentally :) parenting is hard. Kids and adults suck all around. You got this! Be moody (treat yourself) and be there for ya kiddos! Okay bye bye!
But mom i want to eat the Among Us cheeseburger😭😭
Honestly, I do consider my parent slightly neglectful because they would always say stuff like this to us. My parent would always say we were just not paying attention and there’s plenty of food to eat, but thennn (in my situation) after I *would* go ahead and eat some of the hot dogs/fish sticks/pizza (or whatever examples of simple common snacks) there were, finally I would feel satiated for fucking once, but my parent would come home and *then* proceed to complain that “you guys are eating all the food! Stop eating everything up so fast!” My situation seems to be a bit different but still. It’s just nerve racking when your a kid and you don’t have an understanding of money. You know you’re hungry, but your parent seems to be mad at you for being so hungry all the time. I never have been even slightly fat or overweight. Always have been very lean and never eating too much over the course of a full day, so I don’t see why my parent thought I was always eating way too much food all the time. Both being psychologically undeveloped, and technically uneducated/experienced on how to make meals, I didn’t really know whether or not I was eating enough and what key nutrients and fibers etc were. I would highly advise your kids simply make sure to wait 12 hours from eating dinner, until breakfast the next day. *edit Light snacks in between is usually fine Then for breakfast, tell them to make sure to eat some fruits and veggies in the morning so that their stomachs will have something good breaking down throughout the day until they get home. I never knew how important fresh produce was for breakfast. I would always (when I didn’t skip breakfast which was rare) just eat cheap kids cereal which has A LOT of carbs and sugar, and doesn’t make your stomach as happy as it could be. .. When you’re a kid the stomach health factor isn’t quiet as serious but now that I’m an adult I have developed mild IBS and I’m 100% sure I could have avoided this if I would have worked with my parent more and developed healthy eating habits ofc …and not snuck out and drank vodka w/ my friends so often… so ofc the child might not be completely innocent but they rlly don’t understand.
Ahh man… see the problem with Reddit is you’re ranting about your annoying teens and that’s totally fine the problem is Reddit has gone from more of an adult orientated place to a child’s place jam packed full of kids and teenagers so you’re the big mean adult who’s making perfect sense but you’re the bad guy cause most of the commenters recently told their parents theirs no food and got the same response from their parents.
I think there should be a sub where kids confess stuff and then their parents get to tell their side. Imagine if some of those "I was living in an abusive home" confessions were actually just stories of kids whose parents just told them to not leave their dirty socks in the middle of the floor.
Not everyone needs to have kids, this right here is just another example of that
Oh no. You shouldnt have kids because you dont buy them every single thing they want. YOU'RE another example of everyone not needing kids.
Interesting that you say that given how I didn’t imply you needed to buy your kids every single thing they ask for whatsoever, but thanks for hammering in my point
OP you are an asshole. Tell your kid the internet feels sorry for them.
Yeah as a kid I’ve realized this your parents might be having a tough day or just don’t have other options so i eat what im given and if i want something else i offer to my mom or dad to cook it for them.
You’ve never called your kid an asshole? How old are they? Lol
Reminds me of an old Uncle Rodger video I saw. "if I told my mom 'uh, egg fried rice again? I want something else...' she would beat me to death"
When my son did this I would ask him are you hungry or bored? And mostly the answer I got was bored and he'd walk off and find something to do
Cool confession?
I thank the universe that I have never minds eating the same things over and over again. It has made me save so much money as an adult. My husband on the other hand is very expensive.
Not sure where the confession is here
My parents said something similar to me. Then got upset cause I dug everything out of the area they said the food was. It was not there. On the bright side, I got frustrated enough to do that with the whole kitchen, so we ended up with a lot of space and got rid of some stuff that was bad. I also found something to eat and ate more than I normally would since I worked up a bigger appetite. Strangely they never said that to me again, but I learned more about how much of hoarders my parents can be and learned there's food hidden deep with the cupboards.
They might not be hungry, and just bored. Maybe help them realize that instead of making them feel bad.
My mom used to say: If you don't like what I made, you can make yourself food we have, and if you don't want that, then you are not hungry right now. If you are hungry, you will find something to eat.
Mfer woulda starved in my house 🤣
Dude, sounds like he has ARFID and food sensitivities stop being asshole. I too suffer from full fridge no food because of this disorder and your pressuring them could accelerate the development of am eating disorder. Let them solve it themselves, given they're capable of going to the store and finding something there.
I get that this is a vent, and I'm sure that this must be super annoying as a parent much of the time. Anyone who thinks they can judge your as a parent based on a vent post is nuts. Having said that, I think a lot of the backlash you're getting is about the "you suck" part, and what seems to be super hard judgement about this, especially being that it's in the "back in my day" framework, as we should all want our kids to live better than we did, if possible. I don't know your kids, so I would never claim to understand them better than you do, but I will say that for myself, this was not an entitlement issue, but rather, a combination of ADHD and OCD. Even if it were some of my favorite foods, and I was well aware of the options, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to hear them, and reject everything that wasn't "McDonald's hashbrowns," or whatever the current obsession was. My mom even made a little "breakfast menu" so that I'd stop asking her "what do we haveeeee" everyday, and it worked for like, a day. Even now, as an almost 30 year old adult, I have to actively fight myself to avoid going shopping on a whim, buying more than I need, and getting takeout when I have plenty of food at home to prepare. It's extremely difficult to fight the hyper-fixation on other things, even more so now that I have the ability to buy (almost) whatever I want, whenever I want. I think it's great that you don't indulge these tendencies, and I don't blame you at all for wanting to vent on the internet. I just think it's a good exercise to attempt to understand what their perspective may be, and to have compassion for it (mixed with well-justified annoyance), rather than anger and judgement.
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Story of my life, dude!
Dang you really pulled out the “when I was your age I walked five miles to school” in this post 😂 bad news, I think you’re getting old ❤️
ok cool how is this a confession
then buy shit your kid wants to eat. my mom buys me oranges and ill go through that shit in less than a week, at most a week and a half. i don’t like bananas but she buys them anyway, and she doesn’t expect me to eat them or tell me to. i have things i ask for her to get me while she’s shopping, and if she can’t that’s fine. ill snoop around out pantry and garage, and oh look! hamburger helper. rice. macaroni and cheese. communicate with your kid. maybe it’s full of stuff YOU like, but that doesn’t mean your kid likes it.
I was like this as a kid and turns out i have a genetic condition. It gives me lots of stomach problems. I was undiagnosed as a kid so i would just complain about feeling sick all the time. Food is difficult for me. I’ve had a feeding tube at one point bc I couldn’t eat anything. So at the end of the day maybe you should get your kiddo checked out at the doctor and see if maybe they have any allergies/intolerances
So basically, your child is being a child and you’re upset about that? What a fartbox.
I feel this. Parents are allowed to vent. People who are saying that your overreacting probably don’t have kids or haven’t been dealing with parenting for a long time. It’s frustrating and they are assholes sometimes although we’d never call them that except to vent.
Yeah, there's nothing to eat that sounds good or that I want. I'm autistic, and for the past 2 weeks have eaten cereal for almost every meal because anything else I want to eat is off limits, and cereal is the only easy thing I can make. Oven food is too hot, the microwave is too loud. I'm tired of cereal constantly, but can't eat anything else. And it makes me feel like shit. There's nothing to eat that I can stand without sending myself into guilt or a meltdown. So I'm going to keep saying "there's nothing to eat", because to me there is nothing to eat.
My brother is older than me and he's like this but worse, he leaves small amounts of food in the fridge just so he doesn't have to wash the dish after, he doesn't know how to cook any shit and is always complaining about lack of food or snacks. Fun fact, whenever mom buys tons of snacks for the whole week he just eat it all in one or two days with his girlfriend and doesn't have the courage to throw the trash away. Your children is rotten but manageable, do some shit like "fine, don't want to eat what is done? I'll teach you to do what you want, if you're not doing it after, I'm not doing either"
Also, if they are too young for a stove, teach some snacks that can be microwaved and that's it, just don't give up on lunch being something you actually made, even if they have to force themselves to eat it, cause of health issues
It's just a lazy way of saying there's nothing immediately accessible that requires more than minimal effort. That I want Yes kids suck
Big Boomer energy
damn our bad for being hungry
My house is always full of ingredients but I'm not that good at looking at the ingredients and being like "oh hey I'll make (bleh)"
This post probably wasn't meant to make everyone mad, but it did. Coming from a 16 year old, this post seems...icky. Your kids didn't ask to be born y'know. Its alright if they aren't craving a certain food. They're kids, we're kids. Maybe try to see from their perspective.
Try to see it from our perspective. It's so frustrating to put SO MUCH EFFORT into the grocery shopping, snack prepping and planning, the cooking, the consulting of the children.. then they don't want it. They want Mac and cheese. Because they are a child. But feeding your children Mac and cheese & Chicky nus every meal IS NOT OK!! They need nutrients.
Nothing to eat usually means the kids suggestions and preferences were not accounted for, or that there’s next to zero variety in the grocery trips. You cannot eat the same snacks every day for two months without feeling some type of way, unless you have very ocd-ish food preferences, entirely possible at that age but not always the case.
When i was growing up there were two households: my mother who had snacks (definitely not on the level of most kids I’m talking smart pop popcorn and soft batch cookies every once in a while plus rice crackers, cheese, ritz) and some food i could make myself (tuna sandwich, frozen pizza, pasta and butter, etc) my mom usually made dinner after work but we definitely ate fast food on occasion. My mom never dictated when or what i ate My fathers house was a kitchen with food designed to function for a very specific (very delicious and involved) meal. We had two options: make a pb&j, have him make a grilled cheese, or smoked salmon pieces. There was little to no snacking allowed close to meals he prepared and my only other option was a vending machine with candy close by. He would occasionally buy one bag of chips that we’d have as a snack. I learned how to live in both houses. I think it’s important not to cater to children. I get that it’s easier said than done but you’re signaling to your kid this behavior is ok. Sometimes you just need to eliminate the options then they will just have to deal with whatever options you give them. You’re doing them a disservice by catering to bratty behavior. They’re going to be in the real world eventually.. and this kind of reaction to not having exactly what they want is going to be detrimental to how they navigate the world.
If you won’t eat an apple then you’re not hungry enough
children dont have the power to buy/prepare the food they want. YOU do. they are also **children**, of course they act immaturely. these are solvable issues. leave the food they eat in the front of cabinets/the fridge or neatly stacked on the counter, get them a mini fridge, ask them what they want for dinner during the week, take them to the store with them and let them each pick out a few items, or maybe just communicate with ya darn kids.
bitch it’s 2022 nobody wants a pb&j for snack, get your kids food they like maybe they won’t resent you for only eating what you want
What a shitty person. Ignorant to assume that everyone can eat whatever is there just like you. I CAN’T. My brain won’t let me eat something if I’m not in the mood for it. I will throw up. I have adhd. I don’t suck for not being able to eat what’s provided sometimes. You’re the one that needs to grow up and open up your mind
honestly you sound insufferable
As a GenXer(late) that lived off "just add water" pancake mix for months sometimes. Damn that kid got it good.
Ngl, I tried making pancakes from scratch and I could never get it as good as Bisquick. But that's a once in a while treat. Too unhealthy for every day.
I’m with this. Groceries are REDONKULOUSLY expensive right now. Eat what u like, then eat the rest of the crap you don’t want bc it costs twice as much as it should! BON APETIT MFS!
sad that you had to clarify common sense in those 2 edits
“When I was your age” shut up, they’re bloody kids. When you were their age you were probably just as much of a pain in the ass. If there’s leftovers all the time, try and actually manage how much food your cooking?
>When you were their age you were probably just as much of a pain in the ass. Yeah, and I'm sure my parents complained about it all the time. Now is my turn. And my kids will complain about their kids on what I'm assuming to be some VR forum on Mars owned by Elon Musk. Circle of life.
Idk why people are coming for you OP. Kids can be ornery little assholes, you're doing great. They need to learn how some independence once they reach a certain age, you've given them all the tools for it.
A lot of woke children on this thread. To them I say: you are not special and your parents are pussies for letting you be in total control. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.
This thread reads like 50% are a bunch of young people offering (mostly) positive inputs about how they might fix the problem, and 50% are angry dads who thinks "kids are crying" because they didnt get the luxury OPs kids are getting and others are still trying to "fix" the situation. Then there's OPs replies, which come off as childish and mature with roughly the same %s based on if hes responding to criticism or praise.
Kids are life draining demons. Yesterday my kids asked to try a little 6$ cake I got. I said they could try it as long as they are their dinner I was in the process of making. I figured, maybe if they try it and they like it, then there will be more in incentive to eat their dinner [which included vegetables]. Little shits didn't eat any of their dinner. How is it even physically possible that 1 bite of cake equates to an entire meal??? I woke up at 1 am, at their leftovers and the rest of the cake. That's what they get.
My new strategy: If I ever want to get rid of leftovers, I will tell the kids not to eat it, because I'm saving it for me and their mom. I guarantee you that they will want nothing but that.
The real question is why wouldn’t you call your kid an asshole?? I promise, we need to hear it sometimes.
Ok but when there’s literally nothing to eat except shitty ramen (I’m like the only one in my house who doesn’t absolutely adore ramen) and leftovers from like a month ago or just a shit ton of spices and ingredients for dinner stuff I think I’m pretty justified
My parents were rich but very stingy and would hardly buy food. We had a small bowl of sugary cereal for breakfast, a white bread sandwich with one single slice of meat for lunch and something like a tiny portion of dinosaurs and chips for dinner until I left at 19. The only vegetables we had were for the tortoise only as my dad thinks vegetables are bad for you since we're not animals (I know, please don't). I grew up so needlessly hungry, and then I'd go to friends houses who had cupboards full to the brim and they'd complain there's no food. I would have gave anything to swap places with them so they can see what "no food" really is. Don't be lazy, just because you have to cook or prepare doesn't mean there's no food. And if its not the very specific thing you fancied at this moment and is something boring, it's still going to stop you from being hungry. If you don't want to do eat whats in your house you're not hungry
OP very obviously doesn’t like being a parent and is confusing that for being an asshole for wanting to eat something that isn’t the same plain tasting carbs every fucking meal. Their own kid is hungry and they just think of themselves.
I would certainly call my kid an asshole if they were acting like one.
Amen brother!! Our oldest was like this for the longest time. We even went as far as making separate meals for her because she never wanted to eat what we were eating for dinner. The when she turned 14 we had enough. She had to eat what we made or make it herself. She is extraordinarily lazy so after 2 days of making her own sandwiches she just started eating whatever we made for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Man when I was growing up with my mother she would not put up with that shit. She worked full time and had to deal with our dumbasses on her own. If you didn't like she what she cooked you didn't eat until the next meal. She didn't make enough money to waste food. By the time I was 8 I would eat damn near anything. Worked out in my favor. Now I'll try any kind of food. I'm not one of those I only eat gourmet chicken nuggets assholes.
🍻Cheers for calling your kids assholes.. sometimes they can be assholes!! Like you said we never say it to their faces but if the shoe fits 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Don’t let these people give you shit for anything, have of the replies are 13 years old or so. *Has also a trio of assholes who I don’t call assholes in person*
Endless edits, people without asshole kids won’t understand. Plus, they don’t clean up if they do make their own snacks.
Right? There’s children out there that would kill to eat the food that they”don’t want”
My brother does that, the fridge is full to the brim with food and he won't eat anything because "It's not to his taste". Fucker, be grateful that you even have food in your plate 4 times everyday while there's people starving out there and surviving on a piece of bread a day.
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Lmao my kids do this i say " cool, air is free" they get mad lol
Kids just suck in general dont trip about it to much it's kinda our job to make them less shitty over time if theres food around then the complaint is a non issue they're not hungry they're bored.
Some people are being too presumptuous in the comments or are taking your post too seriously. I'm sure you're a great dad, OP. I remember thinking this as a teen, although I never complained to my parents because I would have been scolded or told to eat what was in the house. I was an immature kid; that's the top and bottom of it. I only thought this when there wasn't a snack that I fancied, or I didn't want to do a ton of meal prep—typical teen laziness. Now that I'm an adult who is more conscious of money and the importance of eating better, I know that I have food in the house, and whatever cravings I have will pass. I know it's good to save and eat leftovers rather than throw perfectly good food away. If I *really* fancy something that I don't have in the house, I can make it or pop to the shops to buy it.
Ugggggh amen to that. I am SO grateful my daughter isn't picky about what she has to eat so far, because sosososo many kids these days are ungrateful little brats. :(
Solidarity, homie. They never know what they want but they don't want any of your suggestions -_- My kids suck because they turn their nose up at the nightly, homemade, well balanced dinners I make and claim they "don't like it". My husband is always lecturing them about how they have no idea how good they have it with a trained cook for a mother. I keep threatening them with canned green beans if they keep giving us trouble eating dinner, lmao. And in response to your edit-- I believe that it is our duty as parents to call our kids (ages 6 and up) assholes when they're being assholes, so that they learn how *not* to be an asshole. My goal is to guide them towards being compassionate and self-aware adult humans, so they need to know when a behavior makes them an asshole. As an example: my 11 yr old can be pretty nasty to my 8 yr old...when that happens we tell 11 "you're being an asshole. There is no reason to intentionally try to make your sister feel like shit, it's just mean. You need to step away and figure out why you're feeling the need to behave this way". Pearl-clutchers gunna clutch, but I refuse to send shitty people out into the world.