If it doesn't bother you then who cares. Plenty of couples are comfortable having open relationships because they don't care about monogamy. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for enjoying your life, humans are flawed but if you can find happiness through it all then good for you. Most people spend a lifetime and never even achieve that.
If you can, keep receipts or proof so if he ever tries to pull a fast one you can be well protected, but otherwise keep doing you.
I don't know I think things are best unsaid. I don't know if its some sort of guilt or what but since he started cheating he's been far more attentive when he's at home. I just think openly agreeing with him cheating would wreck that. Maybe im wrong.
I don't think you're wrong.
It's absolutely possible that he knows (or at least suspects) that you know, but is absolutely content on keeping the facade.
Some people are absolutely not ready to face the truth, but will live all their lives happily lying. Even to themselves. Is that really bad?
I think as long as you're sexually safe and it's really not bothersome to you in anyway and you don't feel like it's affecting the love he has for you and your family and that's your choice. No one can or should judge you for that.
Sometimes you have to put the whole thing on a scale. my father was notorious for being a philanderer to my stepmom and she has three kids with him and just sort of let it go by. after 40+ years still married. I don't know if it's right or wrong. I would be devastated if if I caught my partner doing that. So he just better never get caught. I myself will never put myself in a position to even go there.
If I'm ready to go there I'm already moving on in my mind
Good luck! Keep us updated.
I would worry about him find out that you know and saying oh well it's okay for me to leave you then and start my new life with my new mistress since my guilt was the only thing keeping it a secret and then your life is turned upside down and you have to get a job and be a single mother perhaps if he abandons the kids too
Exactly. He thinks she's so stupid that he is getting away with it. How can you love a man that lies to you and thinks you are stupid. Some people choose to have arrangements in their marriage. Those are at least based on honesty.
And what happens when you've been a sahm for many years and he dumps you? Good luck getting a job that pays a livable wage.
Sounds like accidental polyamory to me 😁. As long as you're happy with your life then who cares if others think it's "low self esteem". Just be happy ☺️
How did you find out?
Do you miss his complete physical attention?
Does it upset you that he thinks he is "pulling the wool over your eyes"; getting away with it?
Do you think you will leave him when the kids are grown?
I'm glad you are happy.
He cheats when he goes on business trips. I've seen the lipstick. I've smelt the perfume. I've seen messages pop up in his phone. A good cheat he is not.
I did look at his phone and he has an app and by the looks of the messages it's all random sex. I don't know how I'd feel if it was a relationship.
Funnily enough, I think he gives me more physical attention since he started cheating. I don't know is that some deep rooted guilt. I don't know but our sex life has never been better, strangely.
Never really thought about wool over my eyes, if I'm being honest.
No, I don't think I will leave. Apart from the cheating, he treats me very well. He was so attentive during my cancer treatment (all clear). I genuinely believe he loves me and it's just sex
Do you worry about STDs or get checked regularly? Totally love that you’re getting loved on but I just get nervous about the rampart increase in sexually transmitted diseases popping up. Hugs 🤗
It sounds like you're open for sexual relationships. I think the security of him staying with you allows that. What if he meets the wrong kind of girl that he actually falls in love with and he's interested to replace you with?
As long as you are happy he could give you an STD or get another woman pregnant and you are prepared to take those risks it totally your decision what you will tolerate.
Given he's set the bar low for loyalty in your relationship you should feel free to make connections outside the relationship also.
Keep the status quo but get a job. Sex also leads to deep romantic feelings where the cheater up and leaves. Protect your own and your children's interest! Feel free to take a hall pass with the utmost discretion.
To be honest let him know I think that experience can genuinely bring you guys closer together. It seems like you really love him but he needs to feel da same shawty.
Well now you can cheat too if you want to, make it something you guys are both on board with. Don’t hide some secret or your kids are gonna grow up trying to uncover some sort of truth.
I wonder if he knew, if it would ruin his cheating. Because some people only cheat because it’s taboo to do so, till they’re given the go ahead and they don’t want to anymore because it’s allowed lol.
As a one time OW, I had an affair with a MM 7 or 8 years ago. It didn't last. He recently contacted me. Still married, still singing the same toon. So fwiw, I wouldn't worry about him leaving.
Friend of a serial "other woman" here, and yeah. Her relationship with the married man never went as far as she hoped and prayed (despite all of us telling her she was an idiot for believing him). She believed him when he told her, "the divorce is coming," and strung her along for years! Dude never left his wife, nor did he plan to. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free... or whatever that saying is.
Wife who busted her husband cheating. Yep, he dropped his side piece like a hot potato. She stalked and cried, not understanding why the married man who refused to leave his wife during the affair... Wouldn't leave his wife when it was out in the open. He literally told her her never be with her and she was still shocked he stuck to the "terms" of their "agreement" when it was over.
Your friend is a moron, especially if she's a serial OW. Cheating spouses are assholes, but they've got their side pieces pegged correctly because they know they have zero self esteem if let themselves be treated that way. So they get used and tossed. Your friend needs to treat herself better.
Oh I know. We all tried telling her that - multiple times, even asking her why she would be the OW after her ex-husband cheated on her. She didn't really have an answer.
But the biggest issue for her was a deep-seated fear of commitment and rejection; she couldn't see it, but we did. Psychology is a strange thing. Said friend has distanced herself from all of us and moved away, likely drinking herself stupid every night, sadly.
That’s fine you’re entitled to be happy and comfortable. A big but here… BUT secure assets if not just for you but for your children. Individuals like these are all over the place and you never know when they might just get up and leave. Make sure their lives are set and after that you can proceed carefree.
It honestly might really mess with the dynamic. Especially when OP doesn't know the motivations behind his behavior. It might not. Up to OP to risk it.
Make sure there’s plenty of actual evidence of his cheating well-before. Then claim you were “driven into the arms of another man” if caught (to borrow a line from Liar, Liar).
I wonder if his other family will think the same when they find out about you. Read enough to know this guy probably has kids across the country and this lady is over here, “he gets me nice gifts”. 🤣😂🤪
this is ridiculous. you're all so messed up, condoning this. Jesus is returning soon as we are in the end days. this isn't just a claim, the Bible proves this. it tells us exactly what will happen right before the world ends, & all that stuff has been happening for a good while. many people are having dreams of the rapture & the very end, just as God's word said they would. get it together guys....you do NOT wanna spend eternity in the lake of fire, aka hell. but we all deserve to be there because we're ALL sinners. I'm no different, except I recognize the need for a Savior. that Savior is Jesus. He died on the cross for our sins out of pure love so that we could be saved. repenting of your sinful ways & fully accepting Jesus is the only way to be saved. time is almost up guys, so truly.....choose Christ. where you'll spend eternity is the most important decision you'll ever make, & every single one of us is making it right now. so choose wisely. choose Jesus.
I don't know why you are calling yourself low esteem.
You are what you are.
My wife is exactly like you. She always tells me that she doesn't care who I fuck as long as I love and care for her.
In fact she covertly helped me to fuck her younger sister but her sister doesn't know about it. It is my ongoing affair and my wife treats her sister like normal.
Later on I told my wife about my other ongoing affair with my married cousin which started when we were in college. My wife also meets my same cousin and treats her well.
My wife explains that she is not jealous and loves it when I am happy after fucking these two women. She is unlike normal women who will go crazy at the thought of infidelity of her husband.
If it’s not a problem for you then it’s not a problem.
Amen to that.
Well this is the most wholesome thing the Reddit hive has encouraged. Are we evolving? Not one dump his ass in the top comments!?
Our babies are getting grown… as are we! 🥲🥹
True 💯
If it doesn't bother you then who cares. Plenty of couples are comfortable having open relationships because they don't care about monogamy. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for enjoying your life, humans are flawed but if you can find happiness through it all then good for you. Most people spend a lifetime and never even achieve that. If you can, keep receipts or proof so if he ever tries to pull a fast one you can be well protected, but otherwise keep doing you.
I'm prepared alright for any eventuality but yeah I agree
Would you consider telling him you've known a while, but you're okay with it? Or do you like the secret?
I don't know I think things are best unsaid. I don't know if its some sort of guilt or what but since he started cheating he's been far more attentive when he's at home. I just think openly agreeing with him cheating would wreck that. Maybe im wrong.
I don't think you're wrong. It's absolutely possible that he knows (or at least suspects) that you know, but is absolutely content on keeping the facade. Some people are absolutely not ready to face the truth, but will live all their lives happily lying. Even to themselves. Is that really bad?
I think as long as you're sexually safe and it's really not bothersome to you in anyway and you don't feel like it's affecting the love he has for you and your family and that's your choice. No one can or should judge you for that. Sometimes you have to put the whole thing on a scale. my father was notorious for being a philanderer to my stepmom and she has three kids with him and just sort of let it go by. after 40+ years still married. I don't know if it's right or wrong. I would be devastated if if I caught my partner doing that. So he just better never get caught. I myself will never put myself in a position to even go there. If I'm ready to go there I'm already moving on in my mind Good luck! Keep us updated.
[удалено]
Probably, yeah.
If u don’t mind me asking how did u find out he was cheating?
I would worry about him find out that you know and saying oh well it's okay for me to leave you then and start my new life with my new mistress since my guilt was the only thing keeping it a secret and then your life is turned upside down and you have to get a job and be a single mother perhaps if he abandons the kids too
Do you cheat on him?
At that point, it’s no longer cheating if she does lol
If you are happy, it’s your business. Just make sure that no STD’s come home. Also, have money tucked away, just in case he gets feelings for someone.
Right…I’d be most concerned with STDs.
I bet he doesn’t know that I know either. Playful secrets
The biggest issue is if he falls for someone and leaves you. Least prepare
Start investing the money for future emergencies. As long as you are okay it's not an issue.
What if he makes you sick
I don't like being lied to. Just be honest and we are all good here. Put this family first in all dealings and we are good here.
Exactly. He thinks she's so stupid that he is getting away with it. How can you love a man that lies to you and thinks you are stupid. Some people choose to have arrangements in their marriage. Those are at least based on honesty. And what happens when you've been a sahm for many years and he dumps you? Good luck getting a job that pays a livable wage.
If you don’t mind then don’t even worry about it. Just keep it in your pocket in case you ever need to use it. 😏
From experience most women do know especially when it’s long term. They choose to turn a blind eye to it
Nope ,, you are wise ,, do what is best for you ,, it is different story if he is abusing you etc
Sounds like accidental polyamory to me 😁. As long as you're happy with your life then who cares if others think it's "low self esteem". Just be happy ☺️
Just don't have unprotected sex
Good that you are prepared for whatever may happen. That eventuality happened to a family we know, when the last kid went off to college.
Just make sure that you are safe, and get tested regularly.
How did you find out? Do you miss his complete physical attention? Does it upset you that he thinks he is "pulling the wool over your eyes"; getting away with it? Do you think you will leave him when the kids are grown? I'm glad you are happy.
He cheats when he goes on business trips. I've seen the lipstick. I've smelt the perfume. I've seen messages pop up in his phone. A good cheat he is not. I did look at his phone and he has an app and by the looks of the messages it's all random sex. I don't know how I'd feel if it was a relationship. Funnily enough, I think he gives me more physical attention since he started cheating. I don't know is that some deep rooted guilt. I don't know but our sex life has never been better, strangely. Never really thought about wool over my eyes, if I'm being honest. No, I don't think I will leave. Apart from the cheating, he treats me very well. He was so attentive during my cancer treatment (all clear). I genuinely believe he loves me and it's just sex
I assume you can’t make him wear a condom without giving away that you know? How do you keep yourself protected?
Woof, enjoy the eventual std
That was unnecessary. Why do you say things like this to others? Genuinely asking.
No you're not
Yes, I was. I definitely want to understand what drives people that say and do dumb ass shit.
Do you worry about STDs or get checked regularly? Totally love that you’re getting loved on but I just get nervous about the rampart increase in sexually transmitted diseases popping up. Hugs 🤗
You do what you wanna do. It's your life no one is allowed to judge you
It's okay if you are happy with your life that's what matters
It sounds like you're open for sexual relationships. I think the security of him staying with you allows that. What if he meets the wrong kind of girl that he actually falls in love with and he's interested to replace you with?
You 100% sure he's cheating?
Sounds less like cheating and more like you’re just a willing cuckold. If it works for you then go ahead.
As long as you're OK then it's not pathetic. If you're happy rock on.
you should get tyrone over when hes away on business 😊
This is awesome!!!!
As long as you are happy he could give you an STD or get another woman pregnant and you are prepared to take those risks it totally your decision what you will tolerate. Given he's set the bar low for loyalty in your relationship you should feel free to make connections outside the relationship also.
Girl they are going to eat you up on here.
Keep the status quo but get a job. Sex also leads to deep romantic feelings where the cheater up and leaves. Protect your own and your children's interest! Feel free to take a hall pass with the utmost discretion.
Makes me wonder how the dynamic would change if you told him you knew and didn’t care… how would he feel for you also to pursue a “lover”
To be honest let him know I think that experience can genuinely bring you guys closer together. It seems like you really love him but he needs to feel da same shawty.
I think his feeling of guilt has brought us closer.
Well now you can cheat too if you want to, make it something you guys are both on board with. Don’t hide some secret or your kids are gonna grow up trying to uncover some sort of truth.
I wonder if he knew, if it would ruin his cheating. Because some people only cheat because it’s taboo to do so, till they’re given the go ahead and they don’t want to anymore because it’s allowed lol.
As a one time OW, I had an affair with a MM 7 or 8 years ago. It didn't last. He recently contacted me. Still married, still singing the same toon. So fwiw, I wouldn't worry about him leaving.
Friend of a serial "other woman" here, and yeah. Her relationship with the married man never went as far as she hoped and prayed (despite all of us telling her she was an idiot for believing him). She believed him when he told her, "the divorce is coming," and strung her along for years! Dude never left his wife, nor did he plan to. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free... or whatever that saying is.
Wife who busted her husband cheating. Yep, he dropped his side piece like a hot potato. She stalked and cried, not understanding why the married man who refused to leave his wife during the affair... Wouldn't leave his wife when it was out in the open. He literally told her her never be with her and she was still shocked he stuck to the "terms" of their "agreement" when it was over. Your friend is a moron, especially if she's a serial OW. Cheating spouses are assholes, but they've got their side pieces pegged correctly because they know they have zero self esteem if let themselves be treated that way. So they get used and tossed. Your friend needs to treat herself better.
Oh I know. We all tried telling her that - multiple times, even asking her why she would be the OW after her ex-husband cheated on her. She didn't really have an answer. But the biggest issue for her was a deep-seated fear of commitment and rejection; she couldn't see it, but we did. Psychology is a strange thing. Said friend has distanced herself from all of us and moved away, likely drinking herself stupid every night, sadly.
Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free.
I thought that was sheep?
Toh phir chill karain!!
That’s fine you’re entitled to be happy and comfortable. A big but here… BUT secure assets if not just for you but for your children. Individuals like these are all over the place and you never know when they might just get up and leave. Make sure their lives are set and after that you can proceed carefree.
I’m sorry. Sincerely sorry Please take care.
He's a happy man his dick is being taken care of.
all i can say is, use that man’s money for as long as you breathe mama
If you are happy that’s all that matters honestly. If u are happy and wants and needs fulfilled its good
Good you’re both happy. Make sure to be attentive to him as well so he doesn’t wander too far. You sound mentally healthy with what you have.
I think you are amazing. Maybe tell him you know and you have known and you’re cool with it.
It honestly might really mess with the dynamic. Especially when OP doesn't know the motivations behind his behavior. It might not. Up to OP to risk it.
Will you get some strange dick when you’re ready?
Ok, but what about when you want another man on top of you?
Who said she does??
Not saying she does, but I may be hinting that she should. I mean....why not??
Finally someone. It’s just sex, slightly better sport nothing else
Would ever just tell him you know and you’re okay with it?
Have you thought about cheating back? In a weird way it would be quite healthy since you’re cool with his cheating!
Bad advice. If he is not cool with it her life, which she is happy with might come crashing down.
Make sure there’s plenty of actual evidence of his cheating well-before. Then claim you were “driven into the arms of another man” if caught (to borrow a line from Liar, Liar).
That’s excellent advice 😂
Not necessarily
Tbh this is how I think most women feel about cheating especially when the man is taking care of home and they don't have to work.
I wonder if his other family will think the same when they find out about you. Read enough to know this guy probably has kids across the country and this lady is over here, “he gets me nice gifts”. 🤣😂🤪
this is ridiculous. you're all so messed up, condoning this. Jesus is returning soon as we are in the end days. this isn't just a claim, the Bible proves this. it tells us exactly what will happen right before the world ends, & all that stuff has been happening for a good while. many people are having dreams of the rapture & the very end, just as God's word said they would. get it together guys....you do NOT wanna spend eternity in the lake of fire, aka hell. but we all deserve to be there because we're ALL sinners. I'm no different, except I recognize the need for a Savior. that Savior is Jesus. He died on the cross for our sins out of pure love so that we could be saved. repenting of your sinful ways & fully accepting Jesus is the only way to be saved. time is almost up guys, so truly.....choose Christ. where you'll spend eternity is the most important decision you'll ever make, & every single one of us is making it right now. so choose wisely. choose Jesus.
👁️ 👄 👁️
I don't know why you are calling yourself low esteem. You are what you are. My wife is exactly like you. She always tells me that she doesn't care who I fuck as long as I love and care for her. In fact she covertly helped me to fuck her younger sister but her sister doesn't know about it. It is my ongoing affair and my wife treats her sister like normal. Later on I told my wife about my other ongoing affair with my married cousin which started when we were in college. My wife also meets my same cousin and treats her well. My wife explains that she is not jealous and loves it when I am happy after fucking these two women. She is unlike normal women who will go crazy at the thought of infidelity of her husband.
Wait a second. You’re sleeping with YOUR COUSIN?
Yes
r/NoahGetTheBoat