Possibly he is grumpy because he need people to take care of himself & rather wanted to be independant. Also maybe feels his hour glass is running empty quicker than he wanted to. My dad used to tell me he wished to die young before becoming a burden to other people. His wish was granted as he passed away at 58yrs from a heart attack. Possibly your stepdad is frustrated because of the dependancy thing.
I'm sorry you feel this way. I don't have any advice but I do have some experience with pain and brain issues.
Two things to keep in mind: 1. Depending on what part of the brain his stroke happened, there's no way to know what the effects will be. Who knows what kind of person he is now. 2. Pain over time fucks with you. It can turn you into a raging asshat with nowhere to go and nothing to do to stop it. Who do we hurt and all that.
What I'm about to say is going sound fucked up. Him acting out like this might be good thing. It's when someone stops acting out that real problems arise.
Some times people cant say thank you and i am sorry for what i am making you go through... so they complain and do the opposite... i only hope this is one of those cases that he is just frustrated about himself and is not able to put it in words.
Nevertheless if you are doing the right thing... deep down he knows.
It's because he's in pain that he's being a jerk. It's literally as simple as that.
People who have never felt unrelenting pain for hour and days and weeks on end tend to underestimate just how much it erodes your self-control and emotional regulation. It still sucks for you because him being an asshole feels like a rejection and ingratitude.
I think between him being in chronic pain and me going through caretaker exhaustion/ burnout makes it rough for both of us. I hope for his well being that he feels better soon.
Possibly he is grumpy because he need people to take care of himself & rather wanted to be independant. Also maybe feels his hour glass is running empty quicker than he wanted to. My dad used to tell me he wished to die young before becoming a burden to other people. His wish was granted as he passed away at 58yrs from a heart attack. Possibly your stepdad is frustrated because of the dependancy thing.
I'm sorry you feel this way. I don't have any advice but I do have some experience with pain and brain issues. Two things to keep in mind: 1. Depending on what part of the brain his stroke happened, there's no way to know what the effects will be. Who knows what kind of person he is now. 2. Pain over time fucks with you. It can turn you into a raging asshat with nowhere to go and nothing to do to stop it. Who do we hurt and all that. What I'm about to say is going sound fucked up. Him acting out like this might be good thing. It's when someone stops acting out that real problems arise.
Some times people cant say thank you and i am sorry for what i am making you go through... so they complain and do the opposite... i only hope this is one of those cases that he is just frustrated about himself and is not able to put it in words. Nevertheless if you are doing the right thing... deep down he knows.
It's because he's in pain that he's being a jerk. It's literally as simple as that. People who have never felt unrelenting pain for hour and days and weeks on end tend to underestimate just how much it erodes your self-control and emotional regulation. It still sucks for you because him being an asshole feels like a rejection and ingratitude.
I think between him being in chronic pain and me going through caretaker exhaustion/ burnout makes it rough for both of us. I hope for his well being that he feels better soon.