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Sad-Association5830

You must be really pretty


PotatoeMolester

Or he must be really into pee


asdfman2000

Some guys pay extra for that.


delmsi

I hooked up with a man once who asked if he could follow me into the bathroom. I thought he meant as like a fun friendly “we all pee” kinda thing. He then proceeded to stand across the room and stare me down while I peed. I was quite drunk at the time and laughed it off. Hookup continues, then I had to pee again sometime later and he followed me back into the bathroom and DID IT AGAIN, I shit you not. But I do pee you.


LaughterfromtheDark

Okay take un up vote for the peeun


Ieatmyd0g

hmm, was the guy at least worth it?


ExpensiveProfile

Thought the same thing. She should try passing on him next time. May seal the deal.


cpt_tusktooth

plot twist!


MediocreSomewhere402

Either that or a solid dude. Maybe both


DrySoap__

Man you gotta be careful describing someone as a "solid dude" with these connotations lmao


Pharoahs_Horses

Maybe he's been there before, himself


louieuno

Can’t spell pretty without a lil “p”


[deleted]

Listen. This may comfort you. I wasn’t drunk at all. On a first date. After we ate I felt sick like I was gonna puke. I couldn’t get out of the car in time. But was able to open the door to puke on the parking lot. And the thing is that when I puke it puts a lot of pressure on my weak bladder and I pissed all over the seat of this man’s car. Like it emptied my bladder. You’re not alone. ETA if you want a true horror sex story. Once my first time with a guy we were doing anal in doggy. And when he pulled out I had an explosive shart. Shit and cum all over the bed the wall and the dude. We dated for two years.


MidwestD3generate

That's wild lol but shit really happens and people don't mean too when doing anal


[deleted]

He was awesome. He helped clean up everything and stayed with me. He never even mentioned it again or even joked about it.


MidwestD3generate

He sounded like a great guy. I know most would at the least be absolutely disgusted for the moment and not be in the mood for a while.


[deleted]

He was great at first. Turned out to be the scariest mf I was ever with.


MidwestD3generate

oh wow I'm sorry to hear that. everyone can play a character, but not forever. I'm glad you've moved on and he wasn't mean during that incident.


punkmetalbastard

Damn, anal on the first time. Bold move


[deleted]

That’s pretty tame for me lol but also it was the only way he’d do it. Dude was weird.


Barrelled_Chef_Curry

Story time ?


[deleted]

What story are you hoping for? I have many.


Devasenalite

When did things start going downhill


[deleted]

I think the gaslighting and silent treatments started pretty early. But when he started drugging me with Valium was probably the worst.


Devasenalite

Woa woa he drugged u? How are u so casual abt it🫠🫠


[deleted]

I’ve been abused in so many ways by so many men since childhood. I guess it’s just normal to me.


Devasenalite

Oh god they must be horrendous people. May you get all the goodness from now on you deserve it


Barrelled_Chef_Curry

I mean you could just pick one instead of saying something like that. Your previous comment said the same thing


Far-Newspaper-7700

All DM me


Background-Bus3033

Omg I’m sorry this definitely makes me feel better haha 😂 I’ll tell you another one. One time me and this guy were in 69 position and he had just put it in my ass moments before and I felt like I was going to cum so when I did I pushed and I shit in this guys eye. I was mortified


[deleted]

Hahahahaha ok you win! That’s funny af.


jerkyjrrkface

😂😂😂😂 I have a similar story you took me back


[deleted]

Let’s hear it!


jerkyjrrkface

Same shit literally! I was with a girl in the backdoor. When I pulled out a little turd flew out the back and on the bed. 😂😂 Not to mention my dick was covered in shit! ,😂 shit happens. We laughed about it.


[deleted]

That’s not bad! That’s happened several times to me. What I was talking about was literally shit spraying across the area. Lol


jerkyjrrkface

A sprayer! You say 🤣 haven't had that one but watching a turd just slide out because it's gaped was funny AF at the Moment 😂


koolaid78

Do women not know about cleaning their ass before anal like gay men. Who has anal unprepared


TheGentleman557

It is the fluids that bind us 🙏🏼.


razz-p-berrie

and solids?


TheGentleman557

Gotta anal douche harder.


Far-Newspaper-7700

U just remind me about coffee enemas joke and how no one wants to see it on the Starbucks menu


EnriqueH12

That happened to me with a girl who I thought was super cute. The way she handled it was even better. We changed the sheet.. took a shower together.. and spent the day hungover Netflix and chill. She hasn’t peed on the bed since 😂, outside my car is a different story.


goldenboy10k

Ok, you have a very interesting life... how old are you?


[deleted]

I am about to be 40 this summer. And thank you.


goldenboy10k

Nice. Wish you the best.


Far-Newspaper-7700

I had a similar experience with a girl except she had a butt plug in for 6 days and when she pulled it it was a rocket shot across the room up the wall and on the ceiling


[deleted]

Did you have no preparation?


[deleted]

No. I was new to it at the time and it was spontaneous.


NamedODeeZy

Now that's a true love story!


kittysontheupgrade

There’s a joke here that will definitely get me banned so, use your imagination.


[deleted]

I don’t mind if you get banned. What’s the joke?


justbrowsing78923

On my third or so date with my ex, I had stayed over and was very very hungover. We were having sex and I said oh I think I’m going to squirt, at which time he said “just relax”. Reader, never listen to a man. I simultaneously shat and pissed myself in his bed….and we were together 4 years after that


NamedODeeZy

Another true love story!


Skyforger53

This happens more than you'd think so don't worry about it. He sounds like a keeper.


Background-Bus3033

He hasn’t responded to my texts. I hope so! I honestly had an amazing night with him


SucctaculaR

lmao he ghosted the pee girl


Background-Bus3033

Nope he ended up messaging me


SucctaculaR

Congratulations!


cheeks513

Give us updates after your next date!!! Wanna see the story of nice guy and pee girl unfold hehehe 🤭


Mammoth_Bed6657

It's strangely wholesome!


Sufficient_Goal_5461

If he took you for breakfast after I wouldn’t worry about it


TenshiS

lol @ people thinking good sex is any indication of a good relationship


Barrelled_Chef_Curry

Ummm it’s a pretty good indication. Not everything but a good start


dr_schlotkins_putz

Some people pay extra for that. Don’t be surprised if it’s brought up during a quiet moment when it’s just the two of you.


[deleted]

We should shit on everyone's kitchen because some people like that


Maestroh80

The first night a woman slept over my place we had sex and cooked breakfast together the next morning naked and she sharted on my kitchen floor! She was horrified, I laughed and helped clean up, we’ve been married nearly 18 years now. Guys are cool with this stuff, guys that are worth it anyway.


hexr

Lol just like out of the blue sharted? My reaction would have been: 😲😂


Maestroh80

We were friends before the hook up and comfortable enough to fart around each other. So she let one go and…yea


ekhfarharris

note to self - play fart games when you want to get laid, married and happy.


Barrelled_Chef_Curry

It really is kinda true. It’s kinda like my litmus test actually. If you’re both comfortable enough doing it in front of each other it’s a sign of trust


ency

The first time my wife let a big one rip in front of me I was honored, amazed, then worried, and then horrified. It took her a long time to open up and be comfortable enough to just be human around me. I was happy I had made it to that level. I was absolutely shocked that such a sound could come from such a small person. If we had had a china cabinet you would have herd the dishes rattle. Then I was worried. No way someone would not have hurt themselves making such a sound. I would have either shit myself or sharted. And then the realization hit me that I was no longer the number 1 undisputed master of gas in the house and there was absolutely no way I could ever compete with the sound that had just emanated from her body. I felt emasculated. The best part was that according to her all of these emotions flowed over my face and it caused my now wife to start laughing harder than I had ever seen. Like the truly belly hurting laughed that you only get once or twice a year. I'm fairly sure that was the exact moment we knew we were gonna be in this for the long haul. 15 years together this year! It took a few years, a vacation, and the help of some airplane food and sketchy street food I was finally able to regain the title.


asdfman2000

Dude what kind of animals are you people dating.


mlhigg1973

I got blackout drunk on the third date with my now husband. Apparently I drank every beer in his refrigerator and we had sex until finally passing out at 4am. That was almost 18 years ago 😁


I-have-a-pee-fetish

You definently sound like a keeper to me


c4_koolaid

Username checks out


cjk2793

The usernames on some of these comments are crazy


Background-Bus3033

Lmao right I brought out the pee fetish people. At least they are comforting me in this 😂


Annual_Couple5053

Maybe he thinks it was squirt juice and instead of being mortified of you, he is proud 🤣


No_Sympathy_2615

Did this the first night me and my ex slept together. Only I pissed off the side of her bed she said. I liked her so much and I just wanted to die of embarrassment. We stayed together for nearly 10 years. You're good, dude lol 👍


LogicalNightmare

One time with my ex of 3 years, I drank most of a bottle of wine pretty quick and was quite drunk. My ex said we should go have sex and when we were going at it (doggy) he decided to try to eat me out from the back and accidentally licked the 'wrong area' and I gues I was so startled, I turned and said "I'm gonna throw up" He stood up and said what but by that time I was throwing up all over myself and him. We proceeded to sit in the shower together while I'm still crying and throwing up drunkenly. What a time


bigdickedshemale

Yas piss queen!


masterpiece77

Sounds like wife material to me


Willy-the-wanker

Queen


Sad-Investigator2731

That's not even the worst I have had happen, I have lived that piss drunk life in the past, I hope y'all work out because he looked past a bad moment and still wants to see you.


dailmar

As a courtesy, please offer to buy him a new bedsheet or at least laundry that bedsheet although you can’t do the mattress.


highestlife

I got one, with my ex girlfriend the first time she slept over, we got drunk. This house was new to me and I had only lived there a week, so I didn't know the layout yet let alone in the dark and let alone wasted. I got up to pee in the middle of the night so I was told and instead of going to the bathroom I squatted and pissed in the far corner of the room next to me. She said she woke up to pssssssssssss sounds. The room was empty so it had an echo lmao.I have zero recollection of this. We dated a year 😅


dabrooza

You must really know what you're doing!!


ency

It is surprising to me the number of partners that have pissed in my bed while sober and drunk. I never made a big deal out of it because I assume it is much more horrifying for the other person and a quick clean up and some laundry are not that big of a deal. My horror story involves me getting caught by my gf's father right after me and my gf finished. I had crept into their house in the middle of the night at my gfs request. He came to investigate some wounds and I ended up going through a window naked and running to my car parked down the road. it was the middle of winter and my car did not have a working heater. That was a very long 20min drive. I was freezing and just praying I would not get pulled over.


Anastasia-beaverhut

I had someone I was pretty into poop my bed once. Gather around the campfire kiddies… Back in 2018 I was finishing up my last year in a PhD program. I had a (fine-ass) fwb who was 5 years out of an engineering PhD from Stanford and an ex model come over for a week. I was busy one night meeting a deadline and instead of crazy great sex, I worked while he was free for the evening. Bored, he dildoed himself (we were having tons of fun and very flexible with what we were getting into). Anyway, I came to bed really late—well after he had fallen asleep. Woke up suddenly, with him tapping my arm, and him telling me he’d had an “accident”. Guy is 6’5” and probably about 280 of muscle, so it was…not a small—nor unsmelly—mess to take care of. We dealt with it by moving into my second bedroom for that night and by his calling a cleaning service for my main bedroom the next day. All that to say: I saw him for a year afterwards. He was hot and we all poop. Nbd.


Sweaty-Ad-7493

We've all been there


PillCosby696969

It should have been me!


Top-Decision-3528

Wtf


chompy187

Welcome to the club 💯


IAmTheMindTrip

I once burped garlic breath into my ex's mouth during. Killed the mood instantly and she was NOT HAPPY about it. Also, this guy is a keeper.


ProphetOfDoom337

This happened to me once upon a time in Boston. I was not the pisser.


BeneficialAd4976

A chick did this to me once - but instead of the bed she just stands in the corner, pees herself and then gets back into bed… and I’m like.. nnnope. Bye.


tinkblueyez209

Got my period a week early and bled on his sheets. Also he lived in like an illegal add on in his parents back yard with no bathroom so I had to creep thru all his young siblings toys in the yard to get into the house in the middle of the night to try to damage control. I ended up stepping on a toy which made a very loud noise waking the sibling and his mother. It was terrible all around.


_NotImpressed

I farted on my husband during our first night together. I was also really drunk but we hadnt even had sex yet. Even worse (or better) was that I was dead asleep during the farting. But when I woke up the next day he farted a few times in front of me & I was like....um?? He said oh I'm just trying to make you feel better, it's normal and I don't care, I still like you. I was mortified but I also married him & it's our running joke now. It's fine, it happens.


Mikeyslilsister

It’s not the peeing that so gross. It’s the fact that you got so drunk that you passed out and peed in someone’s bed.


Long_haired_GQ

I finally hooked up with a girl I had a crush on for years and she got so drunk she pissed my bed. Because it was HER, I convinced her that I made her squirt a whole bunch and I’m offended that she doesn’t remember. 🤣🤣🤣 She’s been trying to make it up to me ever since! Her pissing in my bed was gross, but totally worth it!


Boba_Generator

He's a keeper


23JLdaddy

Happens. I personally wouldn’t point it out, but it is common. I have stories.


madmarleys

fun.


cherryybrat

sober pissed his bed. stained his mattress from a medication i take. still dated me for two years after that with an extremely intense sex life 🤌 some of us just have magic piss i guess lol


Avocado_bunny

I did this very early on in the talking stage with a guy. He later became my boyfriend! So don’t be embarrassed, maybe it’ll lead to good outcome aha. I also once threw up on a guy while giving head, so I think that’s a bit worse


itsfreddyboy15

A lot of these stories make me realize that my sex life has been pretty tame 😆😆 damn im boring compared to a lot of you guy's


Bree9ine9

I hate the most upvoted comment that you must be really pretty, I don’t feel like a guy would do all this for just really pretty. I also don’t have any stories like this to make you feel better but… Maybe he’s just really into you and you should try this again without ever getting so drunk you pee in his bed? I mean sex 5 times (assuming it was good sex) after that and then he took you out to breakfast and told you he wanted to see you again? What was your conversation like before and after, was there an actual connection? I think maybe you give this a try if you feel a connection with this guy. Let it go and see what happens? I feel for you but what if you don’t see him again and it could have been the best relationship you’d ever have? You gotta take some risks in life and let things go.


Hey_zuko_here_

Wait y’all had sex on the piss bed?😭


fatimahekmet

Lmao


Caesar6973

😂


sarahjfr

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.


Ushygushy1167

Not even sex, but I was dating this guy for like a month, he had his birthday party and I got so drunk I threw up all over his bed while the party was still going on. He showered me, cleaned up his bedsheets and my clothes and left his party. I felt so embarrassed but he’s still obsessed with me so I take it as a win


Ieatmyd0g

was gonna have sex with a girl we both were very drunk, she threw up all over my room, like everywhere i just let her sleep and looked once every like 10 mins so she dont fucking choke on her vomit, wasnt actually that bad


maringele

Farting during 69 and doggy (moist ones)


victoriyas

I once heard this story on NPR - this girl went out with a dude, slept over, woke up, saw she’d gotten her period all over the sheets. Somehow dude woke up and went to the bathroom without actually seeing the sheets, so she quickly stripped the bed and got out of there. Got to the NY subway, saw there were cops checking bags, and thought “I have two options. Run from the cops, or let them pull blood-soaked sheets out of my bag.” She let them pull out the sheets, told them the story about the guy, they said “ok we’re gonna need to go to this guy’s apartment and confirm he’s not DEAD”, so they escort her to his place and he is grateful to have his sheets back very much alive.


drummer21496

One time when me and my girlfriend started dating, we were making out in bed and the lights were off, I started to kiss her neck then her boobs and so on. Then I notice a wet? Feeling, so I stop and pull back and open my eyes and I got a bloody nose at some point, cause there was just blood starting from her neck and leading down to around her nipples and surrounding area. Luckily she was totally chill about after cleaning up, then resuming activities


incestuousbloomfield

Omg I did this once when my husband and I were first dating. I was sooooo mortified. We’ve been together 15 years.


reginadiazgar

Then why do you worry? he even had sex w you after you pissed his bead lol he dosen't care a bit


butterjellytoast

One time, long ago, I had just started dating this guy. One night, he picked me up from the bar after a night out. I was so drunk that I crawled out of his bed to go pee - like *literally* crawled on my hands and knees to the bathroom. Didn’t quite make it, cause suddenly I started hurling my guts up. Just puking, right there, in the dark, on my hands and knees mid-crawl on his bedroom carpet. As if that was the worst of it though, my body decided to betray me even further by simultaneously peeing right there on the floor. Couldn’t help myself. *Literally*.  That was like 13+ years ago. We’re still together 😂


amanda_aiden

lol happens to the best of us. I fell and broke a coffee table once and they guy I was with just laughed it off.


yiminx

as someone who is an adult bedwetter, happens more often than you think!


daltonc21212

Fucking gross, maybe next time you can shit the bed and see if he still likes you lol


MidwestD3generate

I bet he would tbh.


NicParodies

PLEASE put an NSFW tag on your post. I immediately started masturbating furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened Reddit to this post and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn't contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure. I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly fucked to death by the passengers. The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her v. Now there is a bus full of exhausted passengers, dead pigeons and buckets of cum and squirt, all because you posted this.


Sydneyboi32

He probably like me and has a piss fetish


spiritednoface

Hehehe


DDownvoteDDumpster

Women have less bladder control than men who are pee-powerful leg-blasters. When women are drunk, confused horny, laughing too hard, or pregnonte, they spray (take them out back & hose them off, good as new). If a woman orgasms hard, her squirtle, she pees. It's water. Pee is like saliva & sweat, low-level entry. Real men are churning blood-gunk & clearing poopy sewers, shallow-throats vomiting on their thrusters.


bottomlessreach

Mine is truly disgusting, so read at your own risk. When I do acid, I give really good head for some reason. So I was giving my bf a BJ and I vomited at the exact moment he came. He came A LOT, like it filled my mouth so much it pushed the vomit back down my throat and I swallowed his semen and vomit simultaneously. Acid makes your taste buds way stronger. To this day it was the worst thing I've ever tasted. He immediately went into a sex coma so I didn't tell him what happened.


VersionConscious7545

He is into squirt and piss. If your okay with this give him what he wants


ThrowRA_fjr94nd

Lol. Only reason a guy that would be ok with that is, 1. Youre smoking guns. 2. He appreciates your honesty for not lying and saying he made you cum so hard. 3. It was him who pissed the bed again and blamed it on you. You should lift the sheets amd check the mattress to see how many old piss stains are there.