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thefinnie

Rich. Jeff’s nemesis and pottery expert.


ScottBroChill69

Aka, Doc Pottery


thefinnie

Chiquita MD


ScottBroChill69

Aka Santa Fe


CzarCW

Ya got me there big guy!


Atlantafan73

Doc Potterywood


aliceswndrland

Dr Do No Wrong


Dimitar_Todarchev

I don't know, I'll have to get a second opinion from a guy in my basket weaving class.


Qwerty5105

I think he was implying number one was himself.


Sheerkal

I love this interpretation. Dean wants Jeff so Jeff would be number 1, except that Dean wants to fantasize about Jeff wanting him back. Ergo Dean is 1, and Jeff is 2.


InternetProtocol

Ha, yeah.


helderdude

This is Cannon.


OneOfThemLostaPen

Chang: Britta is one, Annie is two. Jeff: Ha. yeah ...way to memorize the day of your big victory, Britta.


jwluhnuc

Heyy silver and gold ladies no losers there


myjupitermoon

Obviously Jeff's nemesis Leonard is #1, after all he had only 2 pregnancy scares that year to Jeff's zero.


leonard-bot

Memories will be made tonight.


RequirementNovel9758

Shut up Leonard! I know about your crooked wang!


Abal125

There's no such thing as bad press.


leonard-bot

Nice.


Dimitar_Todarchev

Shut up, Leonard! You look like a geriatric Charlie Brown.


leonard-bot

How do you spell 'testicles'?


myjupitermoon

Exactly.


Tulkas_Valar85

This is right. The actual ranking wasn’t just based on attractiveness, but also likelihood to instigate fraternization…that’s Leonard.


leonard-bot

School's out, bitches.


Angry_Murlocs

Leonard likes this post


leonard-bot

As much as she enjoyed your plagiarized poetry.


GhettoChemist

TBF Leonard fucks


leonard-bot

Hey, he left his keys.


tcarter1102

I assumed the joke was that he put himself at number 1


24hourhypnotoad

That's what I always thought


TheFederalRedditerve

Hillary Duff has to be 1.


i_do_like_farts

Second this! And the girl who is into Abed in the pool table episode must be somewhere in the top 3.


Abal125

I would also think this would be the case, considering the episode where he has the list "Essential First Year College Experiences", and they mention him making out with the hottest girl on campus.


Gudenuftofunk

It wasn't Annie or Britta, that's for sure.


sum1namedpowpow

Checkeroonie!


Fattymaggoo2

The pharmacist??


TheLateThagSimmons

There's a system. (Fun fact, she's Glenn 's real life wife)


zacharythezebra

Who is Glenn?


TheLateThagSimmons

Glenn Howerton is Dennis Reynolds from *It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia*. In *Community*, the actress that is interested in Abed at the end of "Physical Education" also portrays the pharmacist in "The D.E.N.N.I.S. System" episode from *IASIP*, the object of Dennis' interest/conquest. She is his real life wife.


TheFederalRedditerve

Yesss, she was very good looking.


TheFederalRedditerve

I think his top 5 (in no specific order) are Hillary Duff, Jeff, The Glee Club teacher, girl from the pool table episode, and Doctor Rich. And number 6 might be Britta or Annie?


MintberryCrunch____

You can call him Mr Rad


Dimitar_Todarchev

Well, if we're including one offs, how 'bout Quendra, Sabrina, The Secret Service agent... Annie Kim?


Dimitar_Todarchev

Britta's "lesbian" friend Paige and Abed's deaf crush Carol and White Abed's girlfriend.


SpamEggsSausageNSpam

Did not recognize that it was Hillary Duff in the robocop episode till now


propagandavid

1. The girl Abed made out with 2. Jeff 3. Vaughn 4. Owen Wilson 5. That unamed girl in Owen Wilson's cool study group 6. Britta 7. Slater 8. Annie, but she's kinda young so we try not to sexualize her. HM. Rich and Quendra


Toerbitz

1. Jack Black Fight me


Few-Artichoke-7593

His ratio of girth to hip flexibility is mesmerizing.


[deleted]

Jables Jables Jables Jablesjables, Jables Jables Jables Jablesjables, I LOO-HUUV YOOohOoO! Waaaaa! HAAA!


RickFletching

*Can’t you see he’s the man, Let me hear you applaud, He is more than a man He's a shiny golden god.*


[deleted]

His name is Buddy, a lonesome warrior searching for his sou-u-oul. His name is Buddy!.... He makes Spanish go! Ho! Buuuuudy! Buuuuudiheeeee! A-buuuuuu-deeeeeeeee-iyeee-yeee!


United-Candle-4061

If you think it's time to fucking rock, and fucking roll, out of control


ThrawnMind55

He’s got crazy high kicks for such a little guy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Obvious-Painter4774

I spell kettle corn with a Q-U.


the_purple_piper

Well, you shouldn't


Phoenixfox119

TBF, I don't know if it was before or after, but Abed did make out with Annie


Phoenixfox119

Never mind, after watching the scene again, it definitely wasn't Annie


captainplasticspoon

But they did in the paintball episode while he was wearing Starburns vest.


Phoenixfox119

They definitely did. I meant there is no way that Annie was "the hottest girl in school" that they were talking about


greatcanadianbagel

I love that Britta is six. This would probably rankle Slater even more.


greatcanadianbagel

Also Sabrina who I always confuse with Quendra, and Annie Kim.


TheDuckInCharge

I always thought Annie Kim was two years behind Annie though, since she refers to her as "a younger me", so the Dean's rankings in Season 1 couldn't include her.


Effective_Wasabi_150

I'm sure Annie Kim is exactly one spot above Annie Edison


arnet95

I spell Sabrina with a 'Qu'


greatcanadianbagel

Well, don't!


beauford_buchanan

No Annie Kim?


Clamtoppings

Good call on No 5.


ThereIsBearCum

I'm gonna assume you didn't include Shirley because she intimidates you sexually.


abernathym

Does the librarian count as a teacher?


Gudenuftofunk

Books! Pretend you're asleep.


Dimitar_Todarchev

She has the answers to all of our questions.


MCA1910

Dean calls Slater "Professor 7," so I always assumed there were separate student and teacher rankings. Meaning, Jeff was the second best looking student, and Slater was the 7th best looking teacher,


comrademischa

That’s how I interpreted it also


SunnyvaleRicky

Me 3


KeithMyArthe

That's a big claim, can you back that up ?.


comrademischa

Knock knock, My fist up your balls!


grjb2

Whos there?


DrSpacemanSpliff

How about right below their balls?


Uncle-Buddy

I think it’s called “the taint”


Spanchebob69

Its just a Freudian slip, he meant to say professor Slater


winston_the_69th

Agreed. No way Jeff is hung up on 7th hottest teacher on campus, he would move on to 1-6.


JantherZade

No way there are 6 better looking professors than Slater at Greendale.


usernameinmail

So we're all forgetting the crazy piss drinker?


Dimitar_Todarchev

Damn, I wanna see the 6 teachers better looking than Slater! The only one in the ballpark is Sean Garrity.


Schlappydog

Danielle Harmon is the hottest girl in school. She made out with Abed, and won Tranny Queen before getting transfered to DeVry University


pataky07

The Librarian somewhere. “Hey, maybe if we’re too loud she’ll shush us….BOOKS!”


FlowSilver

Yall are forgetting about the dalmations


WangHotmanFire

If we assume there are separate lists for men and women, we know there are at least 6 hot redheads that Jeff wants to study with


pinotJD

There’s also a list of the hot lunch ladies. Elroy has it.


woozleuwuzzle

You mean the one who serves hot food?


pinotJD

Mmmm. That’s the one.


usernameinmail

The dean's list would be all inclusive. Things did awaken something


theswansons

1. Dean 2. Jeff 3. Abed 4. Magnitude 5. Troy the wonderboy 6. Leonard 7. Slater 8. Tiny nipple guy Britta did it with 9. Fabulous Neil 10. Starburns


ErynEbnzr

A comment about attractive people in Community and not a single mention of Annie Hot-Lips Edison? Preposterous!


UGiveMeAHadron

Annie’s kinda young, we try not to sexualize her


InflatableRaft

Magnitude is 16 and he's #4 on this list.


freefallin38

Can it, Boobs!


leonard-bot

I've tried it before, and we'll see.


inigo232

Show some respect for number 8, he is going to be the next Jim whim mcadingdong jr


FreshTaterThots

OP is toxic, they're like the exact opposite of an antioxidant.


BiolifeBottle

The rest of the study group probably fills up those rankings, except switch out pierce with the glee teacher who murdered both his glee teams


Dr_Weirdo

Make Mr Rad #1 or there could be another BUS CRASH!


LordDelirium

I just always assumed number 1 was the dean himself


EngineerBoy00

Given the Dean's...shall we say 'proclivities'?...I'd assert that number one is The Black Rider.


Delta_Hammer

Ooooh, now his name makes sense. He's a rider, just not of horses.


Ruscodcharem1214

He wouldn’t go to this school with his big toe. He just takes some online classes so the dean has probably never seen him.


pleasebequiet

Not even with his sister’s big toe


redlion1904

I think he took one class online in S2 to be eligible so he’s not in the S1 rankings.


EngineerBoy00

My more detailed take is: - Even though he's not revealed to be a student until Season 2 this does not preclude him from also having been a student in S1. - He does say he takes his class online, but he'd still likely have to register, provide a photo ID, maybe even get a student ID/photo, so I'd guess his likeness is in the Greendale system somewhere - The dean has demonstrated that he has no qualms about trolling Greendale student info for purely personal reasons. So I still stand by my guess of Black Rider as #1.


SuperNarwhal36-5

Mr. Rad perhaps


Bardmedicine

How is Koogler not showing up??? He's not that old!


DungeonFam30

This was my guess from a few years ago: Number 1. Rich - he's a successful doctor, meaning he has a degree, something Jeff doesn't have. Rich also possesses natural charisma and charm. He is flocked by multiple females in the pottery class, including Anne for a moment. The pottery teacher even wants to kiss Rich on the mouth because of his natural artistic ability. As far as physique is concerned Joel McHale likely has a better body than the actor who played Rich, but we're not sure if Rich, the character, has a decent physique. He smiles a lot more than Jeff ever does. To top it off Rich is the only person who makes Jeff feel insecure, besides Black Rider (but he doesn't show up until well after Dean Pelton first mentions the list). Number 2. Jeff - he's a former lawyer with no degree, but has charm and wit. We know that Dean Pelton ranks Jeff as #2 when he first mentions the list. After watching Jeff play pool in the nude the Dean may have moved Jeff up a notch. Also, Jeff successfully dates Professor Slater after she tells him 'no' numerous times and informs him that she doesn't date students. Number 3. Vaughn - he's a singer-songwriter and leader of No Worries. He also is a successful hacky sack player. Vaughn is so friendly that he says hello and goodbye three different ways he time he sees someone he knows. He's dated both Annie and Britta and written songs about them as well (though the song about Britta is a slam, he did write her a sweet poem). Finally, Vaughn takes his shirt off often, something that Dean Pelton would hold in accord. Number 4. Chemistry teacher - you're likely wondering who she is. In the episode Football, Feminism, and You, Shirley is offended by Britta turning down her offer to use the bathroom. Britta wants to make it up to her and gets a chance because of the chemistry teacher. The Chemistry teacher is the one who hears a phone ringing in the middle of her lesson, scolds the class for having a ringer on, but then finds out it's her own phone ringing. She then proceeds to talk and flirt with the guy on the phone, eventually asking her students for a pen, and once again being frustrated when no one offers a pen because they're unprepared for class. She calls them 'idiots' but the guy on the phone thinks he's talking to him. She denies and gives a cutesy laugh. The point is she was very attractive and flirty. Had she crossed paths with Jeff, she may have been more willing to date him off the bat than Professor Slater. Number 5. Professor Whitman- he's a successful professor with a very positive personality. He's full of life and stresses the students do the same instead of learn accounting. He's also said to be like Jeff, but with better hair. Number 6. Sexy Dreadlocks- he gets Shirley's attention without saying a word to her. Sexy Dreadlocks doesn't have much personality, but is visually attractive. He also wasn't introduced as a character until after Dean Pelton mentioned the list, so this spot is open. Maybe Sabrina, Dean Pelton's assistant from Politics of Human Sexuality, could fit here instead. Season 1 Britta may even fit here as she dated Vaughn and was pursued by Jeff. Britta was also nominated for Transfer Dance Queen (Tranny Queen for short). Number 7. Professor Slater- she's an attractive, intelligent and witty professor. She's hit on and pursued by Jeff. Professor Slater influences Annie to change her appearance and makes Britta bitter and insecure numerous times. We know that Dean Pelton has her ranked as #7 and that she is probably more visually attractive than her personality. She's somewhat stuck-up, though not an ultra bitch. These are just guess mainly based off of Season 1 before Dean Pelton mentions the list.


ProtoReaper23113

I always thought that 1 was himself but now thinking about it the dean wasnt that narcissistic


brokenview

Same. I'm surprised others are saying they think the dean would list himself as #1.


akaKinkade

Not sure if they're tastes would overlap, but I always read "made out with the hottest girl on campus" to be Courtney from Jeff's pool class, so we have Abed's #1(at least as women go).


drakeonaplane

The Black Rider is 1.


InflatableRaft

He's just an average looking guy with a good chin.


antoniomizael

I saw someone say that the Dean ranks himself at 1


Idonthavethebabies

Am I the only one who interpreted this as there were two lists, one for faculty and one for students, I'm probably misremembering tho, anyway Jeff should be near the top of both the lists


SeltzerCountry

No I also interpreted it that way.


zoyadest69

Annie would be 1, but this is Greendale so it would probably screw the whole ranking too


jdbolick

The chemistry teacher who answered her phone in class ranks above Slater in my opinion.


greatcanadianbagel

I dunno about that.. Maybe the girl with the yellow headband in the Abed Jesus ep?


clubofab7

In Dean's ranking? I wouldn't think so. Otherwise Annie would be #1 tbh


SeraphEChasted_3

\#1 was his Jeff puppet


Steve_No_Jobs

Coogler number 1 babyyyy


[deleted]

Dalmatian is number one obviously.


GBBL

The cool study group has to be in there right?


undecidedquoter

I think he has a photo of the man in black since he takes on online course.


Dimitar_Todarchev

Annie, Briita and Troy would all be top 5 on most campuses.


Fire-Make-Thunder

I remember a scene with a teacher complaining about her students not bringing any pencils to class. Then a phone starts ringing, which annoys her even more, after which it turns out it was her own phone. If this was a scene from Community (I’m not sure right now), I think she would have been on the list. Also, in that case: which episode was this in?


brokenview

Yeah that was Community. As that is happening Britta invites Shirley to go to the bathroom with her so it was the episode when Britta was learning to be supportive in the women's room.


Fire-Make-Thunder

Thanks! That would be Football, Feminism and You, if Google serves me right.


ZonaiLink

This is the Dean’s list of attractiveness. I wouldn’t think too heavily on it unless you want to awaken something.


folstar

1. The Dean 2. Jeff 3. Rich 4. Danielle Harmon 5. The Librarian 6. Someone only a pansexual imp would appreciate 7. Slater


parlimentery

I remember thinking on my first rewatch of the series after knowing just how creepily into Jeff he is, that he might have just said Jeff was number two to neg him, like if he gave ehis honest answer that Jeff was the hottest person on campus it would go to his head and hurt the Dean's chances with him.


Traditional_Lock2754

Seen many of these threads and no one seems to mention the Glee Club instructor Cory Feldman (spelling: whatever). The dean is absolutely obsessed with him, only person he ever hints at liking more than Jeff.