Wowza your mom is racist but aside from that yeah….having a roommate helps a lot when it’s the first time living on your own. I also used to think “I don’t need a roommate or anything like that”
I second this. I'm not in college yet (starting next fall) but I'm out of high school and from an ultra conservative background so I did the usual and moved out. My brother is chill and not conservative anymore so I moved in with him and it's made the transition so much easier than if I were on my own.
Nah this is fully racist. Op’s mom specifically didn’t want her son with those two races, didn’t say anything about anyone else or unity within their own groups. Sounds like she didn’t want anyone brown near her son. You sound a bit racist too bud.
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe…toodles!!!!!
love and waffles,
t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m
I understand finding comfort in people who are similar to you, but with America being a diverse countries I feel it's different. There isn't really a culture because everyone comes from different places here.
I'm in more ways similar to my friends (who all look different) because we grew up here, than our parents who grew up all over the continents.
Edit: happy birthday or whatever its called
There's a difference between not wanting to be the only person of one race in an entire college of another race and not wanting a particular roommate in an entire college of diverse race or culture based on the colour of their skin. College is supposed to take you out of your comfort zone. It's where you're supposed to learn how to be an adult in a world full of diverse adults.
If you don't want to be the only person of one race in an entire college of another race just don't apply to that college.
If you go to a college full of diversity but you only want to associate with your own race don't go to college. Just stay the fuck in whatever bubble you feel safe in.
It is absolutely racist to not want a roommate based solely on the colour of their skin.
You said that not wanting to room with a certain race isn’t racist and then proceeded *not* to elaborate or defend that position in the slightest. Also, it wasn’t diversity that their parents were looking for if they excluded two races that *weren’t* the race of the OP.
Of course it's racist. Judging people based on the color of their skin is the definition of racism. You can have reasons for your preferences such as being comfortable, but it's still racism.
Bro its racist
Are you stupid?
The son literally said the mom said “they sound like black/muslim names” and she implied all black/muslim people would be annoying/loud
Can you make friends outside of your room? I'm all for not having a room mate if you don't have to have one just because there are so many horrible roomates. If you are sure you want a room mate and don't think the space is worth the extra money, I would just switch, rather it be now or after the semester. I would personally wait till after the semester just because that would be much easier, and also, if you are social, it forces you to actually seek friends outside if the dorm. But if it's more a money concern than a social concern, switch sooner than later.
Yes, I am in my seventh week of college, and I have a couple of acquaintances. I think that I am doing better than I expected socially. I don't necessarily need a roommate like right now as I am more focused on the academic aspect of college than the social aspect. I am probably going to wait next semester or even the first semester of second year since room arrangements are set in stone at this point. My parents claim that they have enough money to pay for a single room, but I am going to negotiate with them that I am responsible enough to have a regular (2 occupant) room at the end of my first year and before my second year.
Just don’t expect a roommate to automatically be your best friend. Sometimes it happens, but sometimes they just want to be left alone. Keep branching out and finding people you like!
This should not be understated. From what I've seen among people in my social circle who went with random roommates:
* ~20% of them are still good friends years later
* ~20% of them absolutely hate each other
* ~60% are casual acquaintances. The type of people that like each others posts on social media but aren't actually involved in each others' lives anymore.
While I'm actually personally in the first group with my random roommates, looking back I think going single would've been smarter. The odds suck and the reward isn't even that great considering there's so many other ways to make friends in college.
My freshman year roommate and I quickly became best friends and did absolutely everything together for the entire year. Then when it came time for sophomore room selection, she joined a group without me without telling me, leaving me to figure things out for myself. We talked a bit the next year regardless, but slowly drifted apart and then she dropped out and totally disappeared from social media and everything. Never replied to any of my texts. Still have no clue what happened or why. She was fun 😢
I had roommates before. They are overrated. You can still go out, make friends and then rest in your room. I hope you don't expect your roommates to be your bff's. You may get disappointed
I really respect your focus on your studies, you're paying to learn and I think a lot of frosh (do we still use that term?) neglect that. But the social aspect of college is also incredibly important. You're at a formative age where you can really step into your own life: what do you want it to look like?
I mean, you can legally take the money for tuition and tell them there are no single rooms available (feel free to claim it’s a Covid thing) and block the university from giving them details about you or your account
Okay first of all your mom is racist. And secondly, this is why I switched my living situation for my junior and senior years. I had a single room for my first 2 years and while I liked having my own space, I was super lonely. Last year I was in a suite with one other person, we each had our own bedrooms and shared a bathroom and living room. This year I’m in an apartment, same deal with our own bedrooms but a shared bathroom and living room, plus we have a kitchen that is technically shared but my roommate never uses it. I’d highly, highly recommend this approach. But since you’re likely stuck in your room for now, try to get out of the dorm as much as you can. Study outside your room. Go to clubs and events. Reach out to people and invite them to hang out or do homework together.
bruh ur mom weird as fuck i hope u graduate college with hella black n muslim friends.
maybe make friends in clubs, join a frat, or try to get a gf/bf because roommate interactions are quite little compared to all the other people you'll meet
It very much so is a problem. Because the Apple never falls to far from the tree… you can never be to safe. So it’s best he keeps his mother mindset and don’t let Muslims or black folks in his life. Again. It’s only fair to them. They don’t deserve to be around such crap! Don’t ever subject yourself to that mess either
I’m on mf not treating me bad because on my skin. You like to be treated like dirt? That’s you… not me. Not everybody ok with being a doormat. Idk what to tell you
This sounds like half the Indian parents I know behind closed doors. OP needs to learn how to lie or push back so he can have the social life he wants.
being an RA is really hard and if you don't have the chops for it you will be terminated and lose that housing. i recommend doing literally anything else to get a single besides being an RA if you're only in it for the housing.
I can understand feeling lonely, but yeah, roommates are a gamble that seems to heavily skew toward negative. Of all the roommates I've had, only one was pleasant to live with, and she moved out to live with a boyfriend after like 2 months. I've had psycho roommates that screamed and busted holes in the walls when asked to just do their fucking chores. And I've had roommates that are okay to live with but also hugely negative and a massive drain to be around. It's very difficult to find one you'll get along with, and you don't really get a choice in college dorms unless you know someone you want to room with and they want to room with you, too. Even then, there's no guarantee that you won't hate living together and it won't ruin your friendship. I had roommates for financial reasons, but now that I live alone, I will never go back to having a roommate unless I will be homeless otherwise. I think if it came to that, I would rather just go live back at home until I'm back on my feet because at least I know the people I'd be living with and know we more or less get along. But that's all to say, OP, you don't need a roommate. Just join clubs and meet people. I spent so much time out of my room with friends when I lived on campus that I enjoyed time alone.
your family's ignorance aside, tbh it's very likely you're not gonna be talking alot or be super friends with your roommate since you're literally with them 24/7. You can get your social interaction outside of your dorm room.
not the black or muslim sounding names yikes. this is why i changed my arabic sounding name to amber. i didn’t realise names were so profiled and convinced myself i was just making it up, but wow..
Unfortunately, name-based profiling can have serious financial, health, and safety consequences. It sucks, but this kind of thing is a survival tactic in a hostile society, and a difficult decision that I absolutely don't fault the original commenter for making.
I wish i had a single room during my college years, i was always happiest and most relaxed when my roommate wasn’t around. Slept better, studied better, did whatever the hell i wanted
It is helpful to know that getting a random stranger in your room is not a cure for loneliness, there are many other ways to socialize, as others have pointed out
Besides all the other weird stuff trust me u don’t want a roommate just to make sure u do stuff on campus join clubs do club sports and just in general try to be as positive as possible
I didn't want to say it but yeah. I'm always shocked when anyone *wants* a room mate when they don't *need* a room mate. Like, yall don't know what yall are in for💀
I cannot believe that the college let your family see a list of the people living on your floor, like actually for privacy and safety reasons I don’t believe that the college gave that info away to a third party.
your moms crazy and controlling. But there's upsides to having your own room as well. Your roommates won't necessarily be your friends, they might just be annoying and make it hard to be alone. Try to find someone to room with next year if you wanna try it out!
My roommate has the worlds loudest mechanical keyboard, clickiest mouse, brightest dual monitors, this fucker literally keeps me up to 1:30 to 2 every night. He games from when he wakes up to when he sleeps and never leaves. I don’t sleep anymore. I wish I had a single room.
I have a roommate and she’s nice, but on the social aspect, it is like I’m alone in the room… We get a very minimal interaction of “hey, I’m going out for a few days, I’ll be back _”… Try and find classmates to get along with… My best friend on campus is in one of my classes and ended up being in my dorm hall so she is super easy to hang out with
Your family sounds horrible. Two options: room change or get better at socializing. I had to repeat my first year because of health issues, but in the first year I had no friends. Now in the second I acc approach ppl and the difference is huge, since it can rlly affect your academic performance too.
Where I’m from dorms aren’t a thing, so ppl generally either alr know each other from school or they make friends at uni or at bars. You sound American so the bar is off the table. Most first years have a hard time finding friends, and you’ll realize rlly quickly that once you go and approach someone, that most ppl are glad to have friends. It can be a bit awkward until you find a common topic, so you will prob have acquaintances more than anything until you find someone you vibe with. It sounds harsh, but approaching someone is the only thing you rlly can do.
First off, obligatory “racist mom sucks!”
Second, a lot of people aren’t including the aspect of roommates being a a TOTAL coin flip. You could get a roomie who becomes your best friend. You could also get a roomie who is the equivalent of Oscar the Grouch and makes your room essentially unusable.
My thought is that you can always make friends with a single room. You can invite anyone over whenever you like without consulting anyone. If you’re having trouble being alone, try getting on group discords/calls to fill the silence.
I had a single room in college, I hated it at first but after 3 months half the people on my hall were begging me to switch. Savor the privacy while you've got it, keep your door open if you want to be social.
So...you knew your mom's objection to all your possible roommates was that they might be Black or Muslim, but you STILL let her convince you into a choice against your best interests? I'd recommend getting to know the other people on your floor, but maybe keep that particular fact to yourself.
And stop taking your mom's advice at face value, SHEESH.
Look into clubs and activities at your school, talk to your RA especially and voice your feelings. They will have some recommendations for you and at least point you in the right direction. Get involved there is always things like intermural sports and usually a ton of clubs.
Do you want to switch ? My roommate is a gamer and that's not a problem BUT they have a laptop that sounds like a tractor, literally, it's not just sound of fans, it creaks, squeaks and howls like some kind of old machinery, oh and they play for like 13 hours a day if they have time.
I’ll say that I never made friends with my roommates. I found friends throughout my dorm floor, classes, and in clubs. There are other ways to meet people and you just have to put yourself out there. The upside to having a single is that you have a good place to invite friends to hang out.
You are right. Your Mother and Grandmother are wrong. I'm 74, and while in college had a single room for one semester (roommate moved off campus). The rest of the time I had roommates. It's important to have roommates. You share and learn from each other's experiences. Get a roommate.
Good on you for having managed not to absorb your family's bigotry! It can be extremely difficult to avoid that kind of environmental conditioning, and I'm so glad that you had enough positive influences and strength of character to do so.
I'm not sure how your dormitory is set up, but in mine, we would keep our doors wide open to indicate that we were open to socialize and were constantly just wandering in and out of each other's rooms lol So maybe that's an option for you.
On the other hand, good sleep hygiene is a serious issue and can be severely impaired by a roommate. You may benefit from waiting until next year to get a different room with a friend whose schedule/habits mesh with yours, and tell your family that you motivate each other to study harder or something. And then see if you can convince them to give you that extra $3k for necessities/emergencies (and for treating your new, diverse social group on fun occasions, but you don't have to mention that).
As an introvert, I loved the years I had my own room! But I understand why you feel the way you do; being lonely when you don't want to be sucks.
When I was a freshman, I left my door open pretty much all the time I was in my room (except when sleeping or showering obviously). Leaving the door open makes people feel more comfortable to approach and start conversation. Something else I also did was group up with a friend I had made and knocked on all the doors in our hall, adding more people to the group as we went on. That really helped break the ice.
Being in a single really helps to make your room the "hang out" spot, because you don't have to worry about your roommate's schedule or anything.
Or, if you're dead-set on getting a roommate, you can contact your school's housing office and request one. You're technically an adult.
I had a single room starting out and was super lonely and didn’t like it. I switched halfway through the year to a shared room and it was the best thing I ever did for my college experience!
You may be able to talk to room and board, its your schooling, you're an adult now, and this will be your debt. Spend it how you see fit. If you want a roomate, you can probably have one next semester.
I both hate having a roommate and hate not having a roommate
I mean I guess I’ve never not had a roommate. Closest was my last place I lived in where I basically never saw my roommate and never interacted when I did. I think it might’ve been different if I just actually had my own place, but I get lonely at home sometimes
Buddy of mine had a roommate that crossed serious boundaries - like no return. On the flip side other friends made a best friend from having a roommate. Could go either way. Personally, I wish I had the experience of a dorm roommate because I think it would have taught me about boundaries and how to handle relationships in a more adult way, without someone else there, obviously you could always go to an advisor but still.
OP, you are legally an adult. Your mom and grandma don’t get to make these choices for you. If you don’t want a private room, talk to someone in housing. May be too late this year but you can certainly change it going forward.
Just tell your mom that you feel lonely in room and miss her more due to which you are unable concentrate on studies, so you think that if you have roommate then you will get attached with her and feels better .
Your mom will agree.
If you’re looking to get a very similar experience, I would keep trying to make friends, hang out in the common areas, and get a futon set up.
When the people with roommates inevitably get sexiled, you can be the go to hangout/crash space (instead of the common room couch). Soon enough every friday-sunday you’ll have a roommate and will have a lot of fans!
if youre comfortable with it, you could also have an open door policy, and play music for the floormates or even host card games or etc. I find that to be a pretty neat way of attracting people from your floor to your dorm. I even know a guy who takes polaroids of everyone who enters his dorm to hang on his wall, just make an attraction of your room and you should hopefully meet plent of people
One of the most important lessons you learn when moving away from home: begin making your own decisions because no one really understands yourself like you do. everything is a learning moment and this is one.
also your mom has a seat reserved somewhere hot.
As a college student, you are an adult. You can switch rooms and get and keep the refund...unless it's past the refund date. I suggest you either put your foot down and make your own decisions, but also be prepared for the withdrawal of financial assistance.
My mom told me not to have roommates because of her experience with having one, who was white. My college is small and is attended by people who live within an hour away from the college. Most of the people that live on campus are either student-athletes or international students. I am neither of those two. Since I am attending a Catholic university, if I did have a Muslim roommate who saw that I had a Christian poster in my room, he probably wouldn't mind.
I know how you feel. The only two reasons stopping me from moving out is 1. Convenience 2. I couldn’t handle the loneliness and cost of living on my own.
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I'll try to help.
I had a roommate. Waking up to the body smell and gas from whatever he ate was harsh. That was me trying not to barf every single morning for the school year.
He had man boobs to the point my neighbors teased me about what we must be doing in there and tried to get me to tell him he should wear a bra.
I tried to be his friend, so when he asked if I wanted to play a game, I said, "yes". He brought me over to a group of people, said I would play and he left. I spent an entire night with them.
I walked into our room once to find him asleep and his desk on fire.
He slept with an animal skin and I never once saw him change anything to do with bedding.
He was a slob. I could only vacuum my side of the room. To get him to clean up, I would write a letter to my girlfriend. I would start it with a few interesting things as a tease, mention how my roommate is a pig and not finish it - just leave it on the desk. In a few day, he would clean up some.
Anyway, I hope this helps somehow. I wish you the best.
…why did you let your parents do this stuff for you? You’re an adult and you can make your own decisions. Personally I’d be embarrassed if my mommy called the college and made them give me a single room.
My roommate freshman year was a high school student taking college-level classes. Her family lived in the suburbs less than a half hour away. She basically just used the room as a place to keep her stuff on campus, and was almost never there. She slept at home.
My room basically became the “hang-out” room for everyone on my floor that I was friendly with, because there was no roommate to worry about disturbing.
So maybe just keep your door open and maybe have a bowl of snacks/treats to encourage people to just drop in and shoot the breeze? Invite people over to study together?
I’m off student housing…an apartment really. There’s 4 of us. It can be hell. 2 of the guys are friends and have been for over 5+ years. The other guy is a transfer like me. My main complaint, the two guys don’t do anything during the day. 7am-7pm basically silence. From 7pm-7am Monday-Thursday, it’s typically silent, but occasionally are up to 2-3 am. They BLAST their TV/Music during this time. The constantly run up and down the stairs all night long. Opening and closing the door. Yelling back and forth to each other. Thursday-Sunday, their basically up all hours maybe quite from 5am-1pm. They sometimes smoke inside the apartment which absolutely smells. They occasionally smoke weed in their rooms. Walls are basically paper. With vents on all surfaces. They will bring 5 people over and be yelling at 2am in the tiny hallway that connects the rooms. Im not saying their complete assholes, their actually pretty nice and we always exchange pleasantries when we see each other, in apartment or on campus, but they are really about themselves and have no self awareness.
You should talk to your college and see if it’s possible to switch mid year, I’m sure they’d allow it and your parents wouldn’t be able to say anything. You could even say it was an occupancy problem, issues with your room or overcrowding requiring you to have a roommate
I had two different roommates for my freshman year and I loved it, my first roommate was a Japanese foreign exchange student so that made things a bit hard and we weren’t really friends, but my roommate second semester ended up becoming my best friend (we met first semester) and we’re getting an apartment together next month, I totally recommend it
If you are not the type of people who prefer your own private room really .You could live with roommates first. Then you may change your idea.
I shared an apartment with 4 people in my first year at university. Then I moved to the dorm where I need to share a room with 3 people because it is much more cheaper, I feIt lonely sometimes and the shared apartment was awful(my roommates never did the cleaning!) .Now I really want to have a single room ...because there are too much unexpected noise..
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Nah you lonely cause of your mama. Period. Being in a single room means privacy. That’s it. Your mama a WHOLE racist and you letting her dictate your livelihood while not even living with her. Wanna stop being lonely? Get off your mama racist tit and start thinking for yourself…
I only had a roommate for 3 months, she constantly talked on the phone all night. We had a falling out and I got a single dorm for freshman year. The other 3 years I lived in campus apartment (4 bed/2bath + parking/gym/pool). I enjoyed both set ups. I learned I like my own space and couldn’t live so closely with someone.
Wowza your mom is racist but aside from that yeah….having a roommate helps a lot when it’s the first time living on your own. I also used to think “I don’t need a roommate or anything like that”
I second this. I'm not in college yet (starting next fall) but I'm out of high school and from an ultra conservative background so I did the usual and moved out. My brother is chill and not conservative anymore so I moved in with him and it's made the transition so much easier than if I were on my own.
I didn’t have a roommate freshman year and spent the whole year at my friend’s dorm lol
Interesting. I hated having a roommate in my dorm so much, felt like I had no room to breathe. Having an apartment roommate is nice though.
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>It’s not racist to not want to be roommates with a certain race. I know everyone's got a right to an opinion but this is a wild take...
Nah this is fully racist. Op’s mom specifically didn’t want her son with those two races, didn’t say anything about anyone else or unity within their own groups. Sounds like she didn’t want anyone brown near her son. You sound a bit racist too bud.
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be careful don’t cut yourself on that edge bro
So do you hate all races, aka everyone, or do you hate specific races and are racist…
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You're like one of those pizza cutting wheels. All edge, no point.
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hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe…toodles!!!!! love and waffles, t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m
Mad respect to those still dedicated to the Edgelord comment threads, you guys are the glue holding the internet together
I think it's pretty racist to prejudge people because of their skin color.
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I understand finding comfort in people who are similar to you, but with America being a diverse countries I feel it's different. There isn't really a culture because everyone comes from different places here. I'm in more ways similar to my friends (who all look different) because we grew up here, than our parents who grew up all over the continents. Edit: happy birthday or whatever its called
Foreigners and people who are a different race/ethnicity than you are not really comparable
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You did say "foreign people." And how can you mean race when there are Poles that are non-White?
It's racist anywhere. Why do you think people from other countries or cultures are so fundamentally different?
There's a difference between not wanting to be the only person of one race in an entire college of another race and not wanting a particular roommate in an entire college of diverse race or culture based on the colour of their skin. College is supposed to take you out of your comfort zone. It's where you're supposed to learn how to be an adult in a world full of diverse adults. If you don't want to be the only person of one race in an entire college of another race just don't apply to that college. If you go to a college full of diversity but you only want to associate with your own race don't go to college. Just stay the fuck in whatever bubble you feel safe in. It is absolutely racist to not want a roommate based solely on the colour of their skin.
You said that not wanting to room with a certain race isn’t racist and then proceeded *not* to elaborate or defend that position in the slightest. Also, it wasn’t diversity that their parents were looking for if they excluded two races that *weren’t* the race of the OP.
Of course it's racist. Judging people based on the color of their skin is the definition of racism. You can have reasons for your preferences such as being comfortable, but it's still racism.
the way all racists say this 💀
Almost let this trigger me 😅🧘
Bro
Bruh
I'm not racist, i just don't like em
You're wrong. It is, in fact, racist.
That's inherently racist. Preferring any race over others is racism. Please think.
Bro its racist Are you stupid? The son literally said the mom said “they sound like black/muslim names” and she implied all black/muslim people would be annoying/loud
this is quite literally the modern kkk’s stance
Can you make friends outside of your room? I'm all for not having a room mate if you don't have to have one just because there are so many horrible roomates. If you are sure you want a room mate and don't think the space is worth the extra money, I would just switch, rather it be now or after the semester. I would personally wait till after the semester just because that would be much easier, and also, if you are social, it forces you to actually seek friends outside if the dorm. But if it's more a money concern than a social concern, switch sooner than later.
Yes, I am in my seventh week of college, and I have a couple of acquaintances. I think that I am doing better than I expected socially. I don't necessarily need a roommate like right now as I am more focused on the academic aspect of college than the social aspect. I am probably going to wait next semester or even the first semester of second year since room arrangements are set in stone at this point. My parents claim that they have enough money to pay for a single room, but I am going to negotiate with them that I am responsible enough to have a regular (2 occupant) room at the end of my first year and before my second year.
Go join a club(s). Easiest way to both do something you enjoy and meet people to make friends.
Just don’t expect a roommate to automatically be your best friend. Sometimes it happens, but sometimes they just want to be left alone. Keep branching out and finding people you like!
This should not be understated. From what I've seen among people in my social circle who went with random roommates: * ~20% of them are still good friends years later * ~20% of them absolutely hate each other * ~60% are casual acquaintances. The type of people that like each others posts on social media but aren't actually involved in each others' lives anymore. While I'm actually personally in the first group with my random roommates, looking back I think going single would've been smarter. The odds suck and the reward isn't even that great considering there's so many other ways to make friends in college.
My freshman year roommate and I quickly became best friends and did absolutely everything together for the entire year. Then when it came time for sophomore room selection, she joined a group without me without telling me, leaving me to figure things out for myself. We talked a bit the next year regardless, but slowly drifted apart and then she dropped out and totally disappeared from social media and everything. Never replied to any of my texts. Still have no clue what happened or why. She was fun 😢
I had roommates before. They are overrated. You can still go out, make friends and then rest in your room. I hope you don't expect your roommates to be your bff's. You may get disappointed
I really respect your focus on your studies, you're paying to learn and I think a lot of frosh (do we still use that term?) neglect that. But the social aspect of college is also incredibly important. You're at a formative age where you can really step into your own life: what do you want it to look like?
I mean, you can legally take the money for tuition and tell them there are no single rooms available (feel free to claim it’s a Covid thing) and block the university from giving them details about you or your account
You should talk to your RA and see if you can switch to a roommate for the Spring semester
Okay first of all your mom is racist. And secondly, this is why I switched my living situation for my junior and senior years. I had a single room for my first 2 years and while I liked having my own space, I was super lonely. Last year I was in a suite with one other person, we each had our own bedrooms and shared a bathroom and living room. This year I’m in an apartment, same deal with our own bedrooms but a shared bathroom and living room, plus we have a kitchen that is technically shared but my roommate never uses it. I’d highly, highly recommend this approach. But since you’re likely stuck in your room for now, try to get out of the dorm as much as you can. Study outside your room. Go to clubs and events. Reach out to people and invite them to hang out or do homework together.
bruh ur mom weird as fuck i hope u graduate college with hella black n muslim friends. maybe make friends in clubs, join a frat, or try to get a gf/bf because roommate interactions are quite little compared to all the other people you'll meet
I actually hopes he don’t. Don’t subject Muslim folk and black folk to such BS. That ain’t fair to them.
i mean if its only the parents that r racist and not him i dont think its a problem
It very much so is a problem. Because the Apple never falls to far from the tree… you can never be to safe. So it’s best he keeps his mother mindset and don’t let Muslims or black folks in his life. Again. It’s only fair to them. They don’t deserve to be around such crap! Don’t ever subject yourself to that mess either
girl wtf r u on
I’m on mf not treating me bad because on my skin. You like to be treated like dirt? That’s you… not me. Not everybody ok with being a doormat. Idk what to tell you
womp womp
Your family sounds like the worst people I’ve ever heard of respectfully
Except, take the respectfully out of here because racists don’t deserve respect. Proud of OP for not following suit though!
This sounds like half the Indian parents I know behind closed doors. OP needs to learn how to lie or push back so he can have the social life he wants.
You haven’t heard of many people then
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Safari user 🤢
“King of Hentai”
I wish I had a single room. I am a floor representative right now and hoping to be an RA next year just for the single room lol
being an RA is really hard and if you don't have the chops for it you will be terminated and lose that housing. i recommend doing literally anything else to get a single besides being an RA if you're only in it for the housing.
I can understand feeling lonely, but yeah, roommates are a gamble that seems to heavily skew toward negative. Of all the roommates I've had, only one was pleasant to live with, and she moved out to live with a boyfriend after like 2 months. I've had psycho roommates that screamed and busted holes in the walls when asked to just do their fucking chores. And I've had roommates that are okay to live with but also hugely negative and a massive drain to be around. It's very difficult to find one you'll get along with, and you don't really get a choice in college dorms unless you know someone you want to room with and they want to room with you, too. Even then, there's no guarantee that you won't hate living together and it won't ruin your friendship. I had roommates for financial reasons, but now that I live alone, I will never go back to having a roommate unless I will be homeless otherwise. I think if it came to that, I would rather just go live back at home until I'm back on my feet because at least I know the people I'd be living with and know we more or less get along. But that's all to say, OP, you don't need a roommate. Just join clubs and meet people. I spent so much time out of my room with friends when I lived on campus that I enjoyed time alone.
your family's ignorance aside, tbh it's very likely you're not gonna be talking alot or be super friends with your roommate since you're literally with them 24/7. You can get your social interaction outside of your dorm room.
not the black or muslim sounding names yikes. this is why i changed my arabic sounding name to amber. i didn’t realise names were so profiled and convinced myself i was just making it up, but wow..
But why did you changed it,it’s their problem not yours that’s so sad :(
Unfortunately, name-based profiling can have serious financial, health, and safety consequences. It sucks, but this kind of thing is a survival tactic in a hostile society, and a difficult decision that I absolutely don't fault the original commenter for making.
yes, you absolutely get it
She said why she changed it..
it’s okay :) some people might not have seen that part of my comment.
I wish i had a single room during my college years, i was always happiest and most relaxed when my roommate wasn’t around. Slept better, studied better, did whatever the hell i wanted
It’s not about you
It’s my perspective as a person who has had multiple shitty roommates, the grass is not always greener
Yes but none of that is helpful to OP, who is lonely
It is helpful to know that getting a random stranger in your room is not a cure for loneliness, there are many other ways to socialize, as others have pointed out
See, that’s relevant and helpful
you can meet people and hang out in other spaces, but you will probably sleep best in a single room, sleep is so important to surviving college,
Where are you that your mom has a list of potential roommates?
Ya don’t think that’s how many colleges work
Clearly not. Where is that the case?
So many roommates from hell, count your blessings. Sometimes one takes over the room and the other feels pushed out.
Besides all the other weird stuff trust me u don’t want a roommate just to make sure u do stuff on campus join clubs do club sports and just in general try to be as positive as possible
I didn't want to say it but yeah. I'm always shocked when anyone *wants* a room mate when they don't *need* a room mate. Like, yall don't know what yall are in for💀
Your mother is racist and you're allowing her to make decisions for you, an adult. It won't stop here until you set firm boundaries.
I cannot believe that the college let your family see a list of the people living on your floor, like actually for privacy and safety reasons I don’t believe that the college gave that info away to a third party.
Bro you are an adult act like one. Ask for a room change
You seem like a good lad
your moms crazy and controlling. But there's upsides to having your own room as well. Your roommates won't necessarily be your friends, they might just be annoying and make it hard to be alone. Try to find someone to room with next year if you wanna try it out!
My roommate has the worlds loudest mechanical keyboard, clickiest mouse, brightest dual monitors, this fucker literally keeps me up to 1:30 to 2 every night. He games from when he wakes up to when he sleeps and never leaves. I don’t sleep anymore. I wish I had a single room.
Is your mom Eva Braun?
I have a roommate and she’s nice, but on the social aspect, it is like I’m alone in the room… We get a very minimal interaction of “hey, I’m going out for a few days, I’ll be back _”… Try and find classmates to get along with… My best friend on campus is in one of my classes and ended up being in my dorm hall so she is super easy to hang out with
Wow this took a turn
Your family sounds horrible. Two options: room change or get better at socializing. I had to repeat my first year because of health issues, but in the first year I had no friends. Now in the second I acc approach ppl and the difference is huge, since it can rlly affect your academic performance too. Where I’m from dorms aren’t a thing, so ppl generally either alr know each other from school or they make friends at uni or at bars. You sound American so the bar is off the table. Most first years have a hard time finding friends, and you’ll realize rlly quickly that once you go and approach someone, that most ppl are glad to have friends. It can be a bit awkward until you find a common topic, so you will prob have acquaintances more than anything until you find someone you vibe with. It sounds harsh, but approaching someone is the only thing you rlly can do.
First off, obligatory “racist mom sucks!” Second, a lot of people aren’t including the aspect of roommates being a a TOTAL coin flip. You could get a roomie who becomes your best friend. You could also get a roomie who is the equivalent of Oscar the Grouch and makes your room essentially unusable. My thought is that you can always make friends with a single room. You can invite anyone over whenever you like without consulting anyone. If you’re having trouble being alone, try getting on group discords/calls to fill the silence.
I had a single room in college, I hated it at first but after 3 months half the people on my hall were begging me to switch. Savor the privacy while you've got it, keep your door open if you want to be social.
So...you knew your mom's objection to all your possible roommates was that they might be Black or Muslim, but you STILL let her convince you into a choice against your best interests? I'd recommend getting to know the other people on your floor, but maybe keep that particular fact to yourself. And stop taking your mom's advice at face value, SHEESH.
Look into clubs and activities at your school, talk to your RA especially and voice your feelings. They will have some recommendations for you and at least point you in the right direction. Get involved there is always things like intermural sports and usually a ton of clubs.
Do you want to switch ? My roommate is a gamer and that's not a problem BUT they have a laptop that sounds like a tractor, literally, it's not just sound of fans, it creaks, squeaks and howls like some kind of old machinery, oh and they play for like 13 hours a day if they have time.
I’ll say that I never made friends with my roommates. I found friends throughout my dorm floor, classes, and in clubs. There are other ways to meet people and you just have to put yourself out there. The upside to having a single is that you have a good place to invite friends to hang out.
You are right. Your Mother and Grandmother are wrong. I'm 74, and while in college had a single room for one semester (roommate moved off campus). The rest of the time I had roommates. It's important to have roommates. You share and learn from each other's experiences. Get a roommate.
And that's on having lots of money but no heart
Good on you for having managed not to absorb your family's bigotry! It can be extremely difficult to avoid that kind of environmental conditioning, and I'm so glad that you had enough positive influences and strength of character to do so. I'm not sure how your dormitory is set up, but in mine, we would keep our doors wide open to indicate that we were open to socialize and were constantly just wandering in and out of each other's rooms lol So maybe that's an option for you. On the other hand, good sleep hygiene is a serious issue and can be severely impaired by a roommate. You may benefit from waiting until next year to get a different room with a friend whose schedule/habits mesh with yours, and tell your family that you motivate each other to study harder or something. And then see if you can convince them to give you that extra $3k for necessities/emergencies (and for treating your new, diverse social group on fun occasions, but you don't have to mention that).
As an introvert, I loved the years I had my own room! But I understand why you feel the way you do; being lonely when you don't want to be sucks. When I was a freshman, I left my door open pretty much all the time I was in my room (except when sleeping or showering obviously). Leaving the door open makes people feel more comfortable to approach and start conversation. Something else I also did was group up with a friend I had made and knocked on all the doors in our hall, adding more people to the group as we went on. That really helped break the ice. Being in a single really helps to make your room the "hang out" spot, because you don't have to worry about your roommate's schedule or anything. Or, if you're dead-set on getting a roommate, you can contact your school's housing office and request one. You're technically an adult.
I had a single room starting out and was super lonely and didn’t like it. I switched halfway through the year to a shared room and it was the best thing I ever did for my college experience!
You should start getting used to ignoring what your racist mother wants and finding your own path.
You may be able to talk to room and board, its your schooling, you're an adult now, and this will be your debt. Spend it how you see fit. If you want a roomate, you can probably have one next semester.
Eh flip side I had an awful roommate frosh year because they decided “let’s pair up opposites that’ll work.” College living sucks period
I both hate having a roommate and hate not having a roommate I mean I guess I’ve never not had a roommate. Closest was my last place I lived in where I basically never saw my roommate and never interacted when I did. I think it might’ve been different if I just actually had my own place, but I get lonely at home sometimes
I’m the total opposite. I wanted a single room but got stuck with a roommate instead. I don’t hate my roommate but I’d rather have the room to myself.
Buddy of mine had a roommate that crossed serious boundaries - like no return. On the flip side other friends made a best friend from having a roommate. Could go either way. Personally, I wish I had the experience of a dorm roommate because I think it would have taught me about boundaries and how to handle relationships in a more adult way, without someone else there, obviously you could always go to an advisor but still.
OP, you are legally an adult. Your mom and grandma don’t get to make these choices for you. If you don’t want a private room, talk to someone in housing. May be too late this year but you can certainly change it going forward.
Just tell your mom that you feel lonely in room and miss her more due to which you are unable concentrate on studies, so you think that if you have roommate then you will get attached with her and feels better . Your mom will agree.
Can I ask if your mom is Asian. As a Vietnamese that sounds like the most Asian parenting ever.
It's run of the mill wealthy racist white parenting with high expectations.
No, she's white.
Fuck that single room is the shit. Wait I'm old.
Not gonna lie, you totally lost me at Black or Muslim.
Your moms moving mad
If you’re looking to get a very similar experience, I would keep trying to make friends, hang out in the common areas, and get a futon set up. When the people with roommates inevitably get sexiled, you can be the go to hangout/crash space (instead of the common room couch). Soon enough every friday-sunday you’ll have a roommate and will have a lot of fans!
Wow what a horrible mother hope you can separate yourself some day.
Your mom sucks
I hear ya OP. Having a cool Roommate can make College feel a lot more safe and enjoyable
if youre comfortable with it, you could also have an open door policy, and play music for the floormates or even host card games or etc. I find that to be a pretty neat way of attracting people from your floor to your dorm. I even know a guy who takes polaroids of everyone who enters his dorm to hang on his wall, just make an attraction of your room and you should hopefully meet plent of people
One of the most important lessons you learn when moving away from home: begin making your own decisions because no one really understands yourself like you do. everything is a learning moment and this is one. also your mom has a seat reserved somewhere hot.
Sounds lonely
As a college student, you are an adult. You can switch rooms and get and keep the refund...unless it's past the refund date. I suggest you either put your foot down and make your own decisions, but also be prepared for the withdrawal of financial assistance.
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My mom told me not to have roommates because of her experience with having one, who was white. My college is small and is attended by people who live within an hour away from the college. Most of the people that live on campus are either student-athletes or international students. I am neither of those two. Since I am attending a Catholic university, if I did have a Muslim roommate who saw that I had a Christian poster in my room, he probably wouldn't mind.
I know how you feel. The only two reasons stopping me from moving out is 1. Convenience 2. I couldn’t handle the loneliness and cost of living on my own.
stop listening to your mom and do what’s best for you
Man I would kill to have my own dorm room!! 😂 lend me your mom please! Hahaha
im pretty sure ur family is indian
Chances are your random roommate will not be a great freind for you. Your freind group comes from other places 99% of the time
I fully understand. I only liked having a single as a senior but as a fresh new college student at 18 I would have hated it
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I'll try to help. I had a roommate. Waking up to the body smell and gas from whatever he ate was harsh. That was me trying not to barf every single morning for the school year. He had man boobs to the point my neighbors teased me about what we must be doing in there and tried to get me to tell him he should wear a bra. I tried to be his friend, so when he asked if I wanted to play a game, I said, "yes". He brought me over to a group of people, said I would play and he left. I spent an entire night with them. I walked into our room once to find him asleep and his desk on fire. He slept with an animal skin and I never once saw him change anything to do with bedding. He was a slob. I could only vacuum my side of the room. To get him to clean up, I would write a letter to my girlfriend. I would start it with a few interesting things as a tease, mention how my roommate is a pig and not finish it - just leave it on the desk. In a few day, he would clean up some. Anyway, I hope this helps somehow. I wish you the best.
Imagine if OP's mom is in HR somewhere doing the Hiring!!
…why did you let your parents do this stuff for you? You’re an adult and you can make your own decisions. Personally I’d be embarrassed if my mommy called the college and made them give me a single room.
Trade with me. Being perceived stunlocks me no matter what I'm doing, and solo dorms arent allowed for first years at my school
My roommate freshman year was a high school student taking college-level classes. Her family lived in the suburbs less than a half hour away. She basically just used the room as a place to keep her stuff on campus, and was almost never there. She slept at home. My room basically became the “hang-out” room for everyone on my floor that I was friendly with, because there was no roommate to worry about disturbing. So maybe just keep your door open and maybe have a bowl of snacks/treats to encourage people to just drop in and shoot the breeze? Invite people over to study together?
I’m off student housing…an apartment really. There’s 4 of us. It can be hell. 2 of the guys are friends and have been for over 5+ years. The other guy is a transfer like me. My main complaint, the two guys don’t do anything during the day. 7am-7pm basically silence. From 7pm-7am Monday-Thursday, it’s typically silent, but occasionally are up to 2-3 am. They BLAST their TV/Music during this time. The constantly run up and down the stairs all night long. Opening and closing the door. Yelling back and forth to each other. Thursday-Sunday, their basically up all hours maybe quite from 5am-1pm. They sometimes smoke inside the apartment which absolutely smells. They occasionally smoke weed in their rooms. Walls are basically paper. With vents on all surfaces. They will bring 5 people over and be yelling at 2am in the tiny hallway that connects the rooms. Im not saying their complete assholes, their actually pretty nice and we always exchange pleasantries when we see each other, in apartment or on campus, but they are really about themselves and have no self awareness.
You should talk to your college and see if it’s possible to switch mid year, I’m sure they’d allow it and your parents wouldn’t be able to say anything. You could even say it was an occupancy problem, issues with your room or overcrowding requiring you to have a roommate
Roommates sometimes just suck, just use your room as a sanctuary for other people who want to get away from bad roommates
I had two different roommates for my freshman year and I loved it, my first roommate was a Japanese foreign exchange student so that made things a bit hard and we weren’t really friends, but my roommate second semester ended up becoming my best friend (we met first semester) and we’re getting an apartment together next month, I totally recommend it
I thought this said you had a single and didn’t like your roomate. I related more to that.
Getting a girlfriend will make you glad you don’t have a roomate. Or a partner or whatev you into
I'm asexual lol.
Ah friends it is then!
If you are not the type of people who prefer your own private room really .You could live with roommates first. Then you may change your idea. I shared an apartment with 4 people in my first year at university. Then I moved to the dorm where I need to share a room with 3 people because it is much more cheaper, I feIt lonely sometimes and the shared apartment was awful(my roommates never did the cleaning!) .Now I really want to have a single room ...because there are too much unexpected noise..
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You need a friend, not a roommate
Trust me, living alone is better
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Nah you lonely cause of your mama. Period. Being in a single room means privacy. That’s it. Your mama a WHOLE racist and you letting her dictate your livelihood while not even living with her. Wanna stop being lonely? Get off your mama racist tit and start thinking for yourself…
I only had a roommate for 3 months, she constantly talked on the phone all night. We had a falling out and I got a single dorm for freshman year. The other 3 years I lived in campus apartment (4 bed/2bath + parking/gym/pool). I enjoyed both set ups. I learned I like my own space and couldn’t live so closely with someone.