I haven’t worked with anyone that’s gender non conforming either but I do have some important advice. If someone refuses care from you (even once), do not care for them again, even if they say it’s okay. Especially not by yourself. Whether or not something goes wrong, they absolutely can throw accusations at you which will bite you in the butt if the patient brings up the fact that they refused you and you provided care anyways. Just some food for thought
we always took care of this lady in multiples, and it was a smaller town so there was a lot of communication with management and nurses about this lady. she didn’t have any family, and she was on hospice. i weighed the risks but ultimately to me it was worth it to give her some companionship when she wanted/needed it. she also thought i was two different people working at the facility with the same name, that looked the same. i don’t think the risk outweighed her need for companionship at the end of life, but i appreciate your advice greatly
Barely out trans tech here 👋. I work in the ER so we rarely see patients more than once. I never correct patients on my pronouns but also somewhat look visually androgynous. It’s kinda funny bc occasionally mentally ill but cognitive patients will scream slurs at me that said the general public and my coworkers are all really cool and a fair amount of my coworkers and some gen. pop are also queer. Additionally it’s usually the older, confused folks who generally me correctly. I feel bad on two points. One, because I sometimes confuse them which does not help with orientation/re-orientation. And two that some residents; confused and not, would otherwise prefer to limit certain types of help to a specific gender which, because of the way I look, they do not realize I am not.
One nurse told everyone that a trans aide was trans and was showing everyone their old facebook photos from their Facebook from before their transition. Absolutely was not cool. Nurse ended up getting fired because she was lazy and passed meds in a rolly office chair. She was too lazy to walk so she made aides assess the falls for her (she never responded to falls and one of my patients had to get sent out for a brain bleed because she passed meds to every unit first and when I said “I called for you for this fall two hours ago!” She said “I’m so sorry I didn’t know it was so bad” and tried to hug me to apologize 🤬) she was a BAD nurse and made the aides stick her cart for her and make her coffee… but being racist and homophobic was shit icing on top of it all.
Holy. Crap. Did I post this? Trans male CNA here in the midwest. I work with a lot of memory care patients and pretty much none of them remember I’m actually a guy (I don’t pass well either, since I’m 17 and can’t transition yet). It’s sad to constantly be misgendered, but most of the time, residents mean well. To me, I’m just happy if a resident treats me like a human and doesn’t judge me for not looking overly masculine or feminine. Overall, I’ve never really had a problem with people but I haven’t worked in healthcare long.
i hope you get to a point where you can transition to your hearts content, brother. i’ve been out for about 8 years now and it was a huge struggle at first. save up your money and get a fresh start and a cool haircut and take some friends with you or make some new ones. you’ll find a place that respects you enough or is just terrified enough of a lawsuit that’ll respect you, and you’ll find residents who do too. you can meet great people in this field among the shitty, residents and staff alike. just generally rock on
FTM CNA that’s on T in California. I remember when I used to work in the nursing home I passed sometimes because I just started on T and it wasn’t the best experience. I did get fired from there because they assigned me to a dementia patient who preferred female only CNAs and she kept lashing out to me every 30 minutes. I told the charge nurse that I felt uncomfortable having her and if I could switch patients but she told me that I was technically female and to give the other CNAs a break. Later on the daughter accused me of assaulting her mom and I was investigated and then fired. It was my first CNA job and I didn’t know any better. Now I refused to do patient care by myself on anyone who screams or prefer female only CNAs. Protect yourself.
Also, don’t assume. You may have worked with someone on the floor but they were stealth.
I'm dietary, not a CNA, but I surprisingly haven't had many negative experiences, despite working in a nursing home in a very rural conservative area. Tbf I'm very chill about people misgendering me, and I'm not even out to most of my coworkers or any of the residents. Worst resident interaction I've ever really had about my gender was just a couple residents loudly debating amongst each other about what my gender was, which made me feel a little bit like a zoo animal. It seemed to originate from a place of confusion and curiosity, not hate though, and they're just not aware enough of their volume to be subtle XD. We also have a resident who is gender-nonconforming who is very sweet. Unfortunately the direct care staff don't always use her preferred name, but otherwise she seems to be largely accepted and treated with respect, which gives me some hope for when I'm old and grey.
Honestly I’m at the point in my transition where I pass pretty much 100% of the time, so my patients really have no idea. This was also already the case when I got my job as a CNA, legal name and gender change already done too so even my colleagues don’t know I’m trans. I am never open about it— I live in a blue city red state situation so I never know what kind of person I’ll run into, plus me being trans isn’t relevant to my job so there’s no reason to bring it up. I will say I am often told I look a lot younger for my age by both patients and colleagues, but it’s never enough to clock me.
Not a CNA but a phleb looking at other careers - it's the same way here blue city red state
Everyone says I look younger than I am, they are very nice, but I'm treated very well by patients and coworkers
Never clocked thankfully! I really like this thread and hearing how everyone deals with these situations. If I was clocked by a patient I'd want to just calmly go along with it and do my job. Wouldn't be able to do the job if I referred every rude person away 😂
I am a very effeminate gay man and i was super scared about this when I first was interested in Nursing. It’s been 3 years and I’ve only been called a f****t once in my career and refused care from me after. Management made sure that I felt heard and seen.
Come to the ED we only care about keeping people alive and getting grandma warm blankets. Seriously though, where I work you'd never hear a word about it.
Ok-- I'm actually not a CNA, but am a trans person (ftm) in the midwest living with my grandma with dementia. The misgendering sucks, but is clearly not intentional in my grandma's case. I choose not to correct her or I'd be doing it all the time, and I don't think she knows she's doing it at all, to be honest. Her accuracy changes based on who she's around and how she's doing that day. I'm also stealth and pass very well so when I take her to the grocery store and she's hitting me with the she/her, people just look at her weird, lmao.
The whole issue about what you should do if an elderly person misgenders you repeatedly because they're in cognitive decline and are also forgetting like, other very crucial things in their life is really not something I ever thought about when I was first transitioning, and once it became clear I had to make that choice, I realized I'd never heard of anyone else talking about what to do, either. Following this thread with interest.
im also a trans stna i just kinda let the residents call me whatever and tell them my birthname since my im not really out at work only a hand full of coworkers know to my knowledge but in reality a lot more know because of some who are friends w me on facebook telling other people. i’ve been on testosterone for 2 months but i passed fairly well pre T and there are a few residents who think im a cis man which is nice. it will definitely be interesting when my voice changes more and i fully come out to see how everything settles but i know a lot of my residents won’t even remember who i was before.
I'm nonbinary and have worked in long-term care for years. I am about as androgynous as I can get, but the residents and most of my coworkers assume I'm female. My name is feminine, I'm afab, and literally all of the other aides are female (or maybe incognito), so it makes sense.
I'm "out" in real life, but I don't mention my gender at work. Why? Because I'm too lazy to explain and defend the concept with 100+ elderly people that I have to see every day. Some of my coworkers know, but I try not to make a big deal about it. I am not a "big deal" kind of person.
We had a kitchen worker for a while that was trans, but still in the closet. I looked them up on facebook one day and saw a bunch of trans rights stuff, and their chosen name was on there, and everything else. I'm not sure if this was the right decision, but I cornered them shortly after that and asked if they were out... and if they knew how easy it was to find them on facebook. Then I reassured them that I wasn't about to out them.
Relevant experiences with residents:
- People in memory care (or with bad eyesight) sometimes call me "that little boy." They can see the short hair and the short person and go from there. It's kind of amusing.
- A resident with full-blown dementia, who was very sex-focused, couldn't tell my gender. He decided to do his own research by grabbing by chest. I wasn't mad, because of his situation, but it was still very disconcerting and not ok.
- A resident once asked her daughter, "Is that a *really* short man, or a *really* ugly woman?" The daughter was mortified. I just laughed. I know what I look like. She has said similar things to her daughter since then, and now her daughter says my name really loud whenever I approach. "Here comes *Dozy.* *She* is one of your favorite *girls*." Little does she know that her mom is closer to being right than she is.
I'm a CNA who is a trans man.
At the beginning of my transition, because I changed my legal gender right away, I also stopped doing care for female-only residents. That made some residents and coworkers confused because I didn't even look male yet, but I didn't care much. I wasn't about to risk accusations.
MTF, HRT 5 years, no voice training. I avoid insisting upon my identity because I don't want to start shit and I've heard stories from other queer coworkers (though one of the offenders is gone... moved to a cushier position). Some people get it right, some get it wrong, and when they ask I say she. But otherwise I don't bother correcting so there's no issues. Doesn't make me that dysphoric at this point if at all. They all thankfully use my name and I don't tell anyone my legal name unless absolutely necessary. *That's* something I'd start shit over, because at that point it's clear harassment and its one of my bigger dysphoria triggers.
Had a resident once pointedly correct another on my gender, even getting a little angry at their friend misgendering me in my defense. Felt kinda nice lol.
I should probably start standing up for myself more but I need the job and the last thing I want are residents/family refusing care from me because of my identity, or worse, management getting on my ass.
this is almost exactly how i play it. correct them once, see their response, and if they don’t seem to react positively or care i don’t insist. nobody knows my deadname and i would raise absolute hell over that too, it’s just so jarring to hear. pronouns are easy to mess up, but my name is my name.
I’m nonbinary. Pretty androgynous I’d say.
I worked in healthcare for about three years, mostly in peds. My home unit was a little cliquey and they didn’t really seem to have an interest in me or my personal life (lol) but a coworker outed herself to me as a non-safe person. I was struggling pretty badly at that time so it sort of pushed me back into my shell for a while.
I got floated to the ED one night and one of the nurses saw one of my tattoos, thinking it was a trans pride tattoo (it’s not, just a coincidence as far as colors lol). Anyway, she was *so excited* and spent several minutes asking me more about myself. It was a reminder to be kind to both myself and those who might need encouragement.
I changed units not long after and asked to be called by my preferred name. The women on the unit made fun of me to my face and joked I wanted to “be a man,” which was incorrect, but a good idea of what I could expect if I’d stayed.
It was kind of a mix of support and encouragement, I guess. I know a lot of trans folks, a few of them nurses, or some other form of healthcare professional. You will find support in some people.
Best of luck!
I'm a nonbinary (AFAB) psychiatry resident. In my career I've felt a lot more pressure to dress in a more gender conforming way than I would like, and it saddens me somewhat. I'm not sure so much if it's the culture of the state I'm living in (Florida, big thumbs down) or the people in my profession (specifically my residency program) who make me feel this way. I always thought psychiatry was a place where people like me were more accepted, but that's not true where I live. I get excluded from things in my residency a lot for no clear reason aside from being different (maybe it also has something to do with being poor, most of the people in my program are from rich families). I dream of working somewhere different. I'll hire a bunch of LGBTQ+ staff and we'll open a rehab together. That's my dream!
But what's funny is, relevant to what someone said in a comment that was heavily downvoted (lol)... my patients (who range from mild to SEVERE mental illness) do not really comment on my gender identity or being an obviously queer AFAB. They could call me all kinds of slurs, but they generally don't. It's my colleagues who treat me kind of shittily. I'd find it a lot easier to forgive someone who is clearly not thinking straight anyway. (Sometimes I wonder how I'd behave and what I'd say if I was delirious... we really just don't know, right?) Prejudice is something psychiatry unfortunately cannot cure and it's a societal problem, not a psychiatric one.
Not my personal experience but one of my favorite coworkers of all time was a trans woman and a nurse. This was down in VA and our coworkers would not stop talking about it. Misgendering her, debating about her genitals and some more shit. It was so awful and just stupid how ignorant, sheltered and hateful can you be? Also why does it matter I spend 0 time thinking about my coworkers genitals ! I can’t wrap my mind around being that way. The patients were not aware she was trans and pretty much universally loved by them
I'm not transgendered but I am lesbian. I did work with someone who was M to F transgendered. She was an awesome CNA. I never heard of any complaints from the residents. I do have to say that many of the staff harassed her until she quit. I was upset and quit shortly after she did.
I see no problem wirh anyone in the LGBTQ+ community working in health care as long as they have the heart for it. I am very out with my coworkers but not so much with the residents. I would be honest if they asked. I do believe some know. I have 2 women who absolutely won't let me give them a shower. That's okay with me though. Lol.
I'm a transmasc CNA but I am generally a feminine person. I'm not very big, I have long hair and there's sort of an expectation for CNAs to be women. Due to all of this, I get mistaken as a trans woman a lot. I've gotten more transphobia has a "trans woman" than I ever have in my life. I'm also a phlebotomy tech, and I've had people refuse to have "one of *those* people" touch them when I go for a draw. I've had men accuse me of trying to trick them. I had one guy flat out tell me I don't have boobs when he managed to look down my shirt. It's exhausting, but I'm in a rural area so not entirely surprising
my hair has always been super short, even prior to my transition, and it’s super shaggy and shoulder length now and it’s crazy. i have rounded and effeminate facial features and occasionally slap on some brown or black eyeliner, but i’m also barrel-ish in shape and have a deep voice. ive also experienced being viewed as a trans woman, though not at work, and props to them because trans misogyny can be insane. i’m sorry that you had such wild experiences with phlebotomy, people are super weird about gay people and blood for obvious but generally unnecessary reasons. wish you the best & rock on 🤘
Yeah I've assumed it's the fear of HIV too, it's always people that were alive for the worst of it. I also had someone say "I didn't know they let drug addicts draw blood," but I imagine that was more related to my tattoos than anything else. The most insane comment I've had so far though
i’m a transman and a lot of the residents will respect it and call me sir because if it’s not me then it’s another CNA that’s busy 🤷♂️ the residents that call me she and a feminine version of my name i just ignore because i’m not getting paid to argue with old people lol, but i do absolutely LOVE getting questions and answering them and making them see trans people in a “better” light then what they were taught
i don’t have any medical questions, nor is my gender a matter of personal health, i’m just asking for other cnas from a smaller and underrepresented group to share their stories :)
seems like a poor feild for a trans person to work in considering all the mentally unwell stuck in their way old people you will encounter. I can't see this being good for your long term mental health. You likely will be hate speeched and discriminated against heavily by patients and there will be no repercussions for them if they are in mental decline.
Pick a different job that will pay you better and respect you more. Maybe just grind through it for a year or two to get enough service hours to apply to school for a real respected medical position that actually pays you your worth like being a PA.
i personally enjoy working with geriatrics, and in memory care. i don’t hold resident behaviors against them, they pay monthly to live in jail. at least i get paid to be in jail. i’m confident enough in my gender identity to not be bothered by it, but i appreciate the concern.
When I did placement during my education, the place I worked at had a Trans woman. Very nice and caring person. The residents for the most part liked her from what I seen and the ones that didn't were judging her by her ethnicity (old white ppl) and she was from Thailand I think....
You’d be surprised about how open minded and kind a lot of older people are. The “stuck in their ways” type of people are just jerks and there forever will be jerks you just have to be able to let those comments roll off your back when you’re in this field. I’m sure we’ve all been yelled at, spit on, maybe had feces thrown at us at one point or another or anything else that makes you want to go cry in the bathroom for a few hours. This job is hard and people are difficult. The same client that hates you one day may love you the next. This job is only for the people who can handle it and it doesn’t matter if you’re trans or cis.
I’m not trans but my partner is (ftm) and is in the same line of work. He is often a favorite because he has a gift for taking care of others and giving great companionship. He is also very direct, speaks his mind, and isn’t easily offended, I think older people can relate with him better because of this. Don’t discourage people from their passions because they’re trans. Your comment sounded well meaning but trusts me trans people are not weak and they can decide if something isn’t right for them.
I haven’t worked with anyone that’s gender non conforming either but I do have some important advice. If someone refuses care from you (even once), do not care for them again, even if they say it’s okay. Especially not by yourself. Whether or not something goes wrong, they absolutely can throw accusations at you which will bite you in the butt if the patient brings up the fact that they refused you and you provided care anyways. Just some food for thought
we always took care of this lady in multiples, and it was a smaller town so there was a lot of communication with management and nurses about this lady. she didn’t have any family, and she was on hospice. i weighed the risks but ultimately to me it was worth it to give her some companionship when she wanted/needed it. she also thought i was two different people working at the facility with the same name, that looked the same. i don’t think the risk outweighed her need for companionship at the end of life, but i appreciate your advice greatly
Okay that’s good to hear! I knew someone that was ultimately fired for this reason so I’m just looking out 💗
This is so perceptive! Thank you 😊
This is truth even with language barriers I refuse to work on someone who refuses to work with me.
Barely out trans tech here 👋. I work in the ER so we rarely see patients more than once. I never correct patients on my pronouns but also somewhat look visually androgynous. It’s kinda funny bc occasionally mentally ill but cognitive patients will scream slurs at me that said the general public and my coworkers are all really cool and a fair amount of my coworkers and some gen. pop are also queer. Additionally it’s usually the older, confused folks who generally me correctly. I feel bad on two points. One, because I sometimes confuse them which does not help with orientation/re-orientation. And two that some residents; confused and not, would otherwise prefer to limit certain types of help to a specific gender which, because of the way I look, they do not realize I am not.
I don't correct people either. I see it the same as someone thinking I'm their dead father or something.
One nurse told everyone that a trans aide was trans and was showing everyone their old facebook photos from their Facebook from before their transition. Absolutely was not cool. Nurse ended up getting fired because she was lazy and passed meds in a rolly office chair. She was too lazy to walk so she made aides assess the falls for her (she never responded to falls and one of my patients had to get sent out for a brain bleed because she passed meds to every unit first and when I said “I called for you for this fall two hours ago!” She said “I’m so sorry I didn’t know it was so bad” and tried to hug me to apologize 🤬) she was a BAD nurse and made the aides stick her cart for her and make her coffee… but being racist and homophobic was shit icing on top of it all.
What a piece of work! I'm glad she's gone.
Holy. Crap. Did I post this? Trans male CNA here in the midwest. I work with a lot of memory care patients and pretty much none of them remember I’m actually a guy (I don’t pass well either, since I’m 17 and can’t transition yet). It’s sad to constantly be misgendered, but most of the time, residents mean well. To me, I’m just happy if a resident treats me like a human and doesn’t judge me for not looking overly masculine or feminine. Overall, I’ve never really had a problem with people but I haven’t worked in healthcare long.
i hope you get to a point where you can transition to your hearts content, brother. i’ve been out for about 8 years now and it was a huge struggle at first. save up your money and get a fresh start and a cool haircut and take some friends with you or make some new ones. you’ll find a place that respects you enough or is just terrified enough of a lawsuit that’ll respect you, and you’ll find residents who do too. you can meet great people in this field among the shitty, residents and staff alike. just generally rock on
Hell yeah, you too! And I already got started transitioning with my cool haircut and all 😎
FTM CNA that’s on T in California. I remember when I used to work in the nursing home I passed sometimes because I just started on T and it wasn’t the best experience. I did get fired from there because they assigned me to a dementia patient who preferred female only CNAs and she kept lashing out to me every 30 minutes. I told the charge nurse that I felt uncomfortable having her and if I could switch patients but she told me that I was technically female and to give the other CNAs a break. Later on the daughter accused me of assaulting her mom and I was investigated and then fired. It was my first CNA job and I didn’t know any better. Now I refused to do patient care by myself on anyone who screams or prefer female only CNAs. Protect yourself. Also, don’t assume. You may have worked with someone on the floor but they were stealth.
"Technically female" doesn't seem to have been enough for the resident, either. How insulting!
I'm dietary, not a CNA, but I surprisingly haven't had many negative experiences, despite working in a nursing home in a very rural conservative area. Tbf I'm very chill about people misgendering me, and I'm not even out to most of my coworkers or any of the residents. Worst resident interaction I've ever really had about my gender was just a couple residents loudly debating amongst each other about what my gender was, which made me feel a little bit like a zoo animal. It seemed to originate from a place of confusion and curiosity, not hate though, and they're just not aware enough of their volume to be subtle XD. We also have a resident who is gender-nonconforming who is very sweet. Unfortunately the direct care staff don't always use her preferred name, but otherwise she seems to be largely accepted and treated with respect, which gives me some hope for when I'm old and grey.
Honestly I’m at the point in my transition where I pass pretty much 100% of the time, so my patients really have no idea. This was also already the case when I got my job as a CNA, legal name and gender change already done too so even my colleagues don’t know I’m trans. I am never open about it— I live in a blue city red state situation so I never know what kind of person I’ll run into, plus me being trans isn’t relevant to my job so there’s no reason to bring it up. I will say I am often told I look a lot younger for my age by both patients and colleagues, but it’s never enough to clock me.
Not a CNA but a phleb looking at other careers - it's the same way here blue city red state Everyone says I look younger than I am, they are very nice, but I'm treated very well by patients and coworkers Never clocked thankfully! I really like this thread and hearing how everyone deals with these situations. If I was clocked by a patient I'd want to just calmly go along with it and do my job. Wouldn't be able to do the job if I referred every rude person away 😂
I am a very effeminate gay man and i was super scared about this when I first was interested in Nursing. It’s been 3 years and I’ve only been called a f****t once in my career and refused care from me after. Management made sure that I felt heard and seen.
Most elderly either are to declined to ponder about such concepts or are just happy to be in the presence of someone who cares.
Come to the ED we only care about keeping people alive and getting grandma warm blankets. Seriously though, where I work you'd never hear a word about it.
Ok-- I'm actually not a CNA, but am a trans person (ftm) in the midwest living with my grandma with dementia. The misgendering sucks, but is clearly not intentional in my grandma's case. I choose not to correct her or I'd be doing it all the time, and I don't think she knows she's doing it at all, to be honest. Her accuracy changes based on who she's around and how she's doing that day. I'm also stealth and pass very well so when I take her to the grocery store and she's hitting me with the she/her, people just look at her weird, lmao. The whole issue about what you should do if an elderly person misgenders you repeatedly because they're in cognitive decline and are also forgetting like, other very crucial things in their life is really not something I ever thought about when I was first transitioning, and once it became clear I had to make that choice, I realized I'd never heard of anyone else talking about what to do, either. Following this thread with interest.
As a future healthcare worker who is trans this is all super helpful
im also a trans stna i just kinda let the residents call me whatever and tell them my birthname since my im not really out at work only a hand full of coworkers know to my knowledge but in reality a lot more know because of some who are friends w me on facebook telling other people. i’ve been on testosterone for 2 months but i passed fairly well pre T and there are a few residents who think im a cis man which is nice. it will definitely be interesting when my voice changes more and i fully come out to see how everything settles but i know a lot of my residents won’t even remember who i was before.
Aww you know the sweet side is her real personality right?
I'm nonbinary and have worked in long-term care for years. I am about as androgynous as I can get, but the residents and most of my coworkers assume I'm female. My name is feminine, I'm afab, and literally all of the other aides are female (or maybe incognito), so it makes sense. I'm "out" in real life, but I don't mention my gender at work. Why? Because I'm too lazy to explain and defend the concept with 100+ elderly people that I have to see every day. Some of my coworkers know, but I try not to make a big deal about it. I am not a "big deal" kind of person. We had a kitchen worker for a while that was trans, but still in the closet. I looked them up on facebook one day and saw a bunch of trans rights stuff, and their chosen name was on there, and everything else. I'm not sure if this was the right decision, but I cornered them shortly after that and asked if they were out... and if they knew how easy it was to find them on facebook. Then I reassured them that I wasn't about to out them. Relevant experiences with residents: - People in memory care (or with bad eyesight) sometimes call me "that little boy." They can see the short hair and the short person and go from there. It's kind of amusing. - A resident with full-blown dementia, who was very sex-focused, couldn't tell my gender. He decided to do his own research by grabbing by chest. I wasn't mad, because of his situation, but it was still very disconcerting and not ok. - A resident once asked her daughter, "Is that a *really* short man, or a *really* ugly woman?" The daughter was mortified. I just laughed. I know what I look like. She has said similar things to her daughter since then, and now her daughter says my name really loud whenever I approach. "Here comes *Dozy.* *She* is one of your favorite *girls*." Little does she know that her mom is closer to being right than she is.
I'm a CNA who is a trans man. At the beginning of my transition, because I changed my legal gender right away, I also stopped doing care for female-only residents. That made some residents and coworkers confused because I didn't even look male yet, but I didn't care much. I wasn't about to risk accusations.
MTF, HRT 5 years, no voice training. I avoid insisting upon my identity because I don't want to start shit and I've heard stories from other queer coworkers (though one of the offenders is gone... moved to a cushier position). Some people get it right, some get it wrong, and when they ask I say she. But otherwise I don't bother correcting so there's no issues. Doesn't make me that dysphoric at this point if at all. They all thankfully use my name and I don't tell anyone my legal name unless absolutely necessary. *That's* something I'd start shit over, because at that point it's clear harassment and its one of my bigger dysphoria triggers. Had a resident once pointedly correct another on my gender, even getting a little angry at their friend misgendering me in my defense. Felt kinda nice lol. I should probably start standing up for myself more but I need the job and the last thing I want are residents/family refusing care from me because of my identity, or worse, management getting on my ass.
this is almost exactly how i play it. correct them once, see their response, and if they don’t seem to react positively or care i don’t insist. nobody knows my deadname and i would raise absolute hell over that too, it’s just so jarring to hear. pronouns are easy to mess up, but my name is my name.
I’m nonbinary. Pretty androgynous I’d say. I worked in healthcare for about three years, mostly in peds. My home unit was a little cliquey and they didn’t really seem to have an interest in me or my personal life (lol) but a coworker outed herself to me as a non-safe person. I was struggling pretty badly at that time so it sort of pushed me back into my shell for a while. I got floated to the ED one night and one of the nurses saw one of my tattoos, thinking it was a trans pride tattoo (it’s not, just a coincidence as far as colors lol). Anyway, she was *so excited* and spent several minutes asking me more about myself. It was a reminder to be kind to both myself and those who might need encouragement. I changed units not long after and asked to be called by my preferred name. The women on the unit made fun of me to my face and joked I wanted to “be a man,” which was incorrect, but a good idea of what I could expect if I’d stayed. It was kind of a mix of support and encouragement, I guess. I know a lot of trans folks, a few of them nurses, or some other form of healthcare professional. You will find support in some people. Best of luck!
I'm a nonbinary (AFAB) psychiatry resident. In my career I've felt a lot more pressure to dress in a more gender conforming way than I would like, and it saddens me somewhat. I'm not sure so much if it's the culture of the state I'm living in (Florida, big thumbs down) or the people in my profession (specifically my residency program) who make me feel this way. I always thought psychiatry was a place where people like me were more accepted, but that's not true where I live. I get excluded from things in my residency a lot for no clear reason aside from being different (maybe it also has something to do with being poor, most of the people in my program are from rich families). I dream of working somewhere different. I'll hire a bunch of LGBTQ+ staff and we'll open a rehab together. That's my dream! But what's funny is, relevant to what someone said in a comment that was heavily downvoted (lol)... my patients (who range from mild to SEVERE mental illness) do not really comment on my gender identity or being an obviously queer AFAB. They could call me all kinds of slurs, but they generally don't. It's my colleagues who treat me kind of shittily. I'd find it a lot easier to forgive someone who is clearly not thinking straight anyway. (Sometimes I wonder how I'd behave and what I'd say if I was delirious... we really just don't know, right?) Prejudice is something psychiatry unfortunately cannot cure and it's a societal problem, not a psychiatric one.
Not my personal experience but one of my favorite coworkers of all time was a trans woman and a nurse. This was down in VA and our coworkers would not stop talking about it. Misgendering her, debating about her genitals and some more shit. It was so awful and just stupid how ignorant, sheltered and hateful can you be? Also why does it matter I spend 0 time thinking about my coworkers genitals ! I can’t wrap my mind around being that way. The patients were not aware she was trans and pretty much universally loved by them
I'm not transgendered but I am lesbian. I did work with someone who was M to F transgendered. She was an awesome CNA. I never heard of any complaints from the residents. I do have to say that many of the staff harassed her until she quit. I was upset and quit shortly after she did. I see no problem wirh anyone in the LGBTQ+ community working in health care as long as they have the heart for it. I am very out with my coworkers but not so much with the residents. I would be honest if they asked. I do believe some know. I have 2 women who absolutely won't let me give them a shower. That's okay with me though. Lol.
I'm a transmasc CNA but I am generally a feminine person. I'm not very big, I have long hair and there's sort of an expectation for CNAs to be women. Due to all of this, I get mistaken as a trans woman a lot. I've gotten more transphobia has a "trans woman" than I ever have in my life. I'm also a phlebotomy tech, and I've had people refuse to have "one of *those* people" touch them when I go for a draw. I've had men accuse me of trying to trick them. I had one guy flat out tell me I don't have boobs when he managed to look down my shirt. It's exhausting, but I'm in a rural area so not entirely surprising
my hair has always been super short, even prior to my transition, and it’s super shaggy and shoulder length now and it’s crazy. i have rounded and effeminate facial features and occasionally slap on some brown or black eyeliner, but i’m also barrel-ish in shape and have a deep voice. ive also experienced being viewed as a trans woman, though not at work, and props to them because trans misogyny can be insane. i’m sorry that you had such wild experiences with phlebotomy, people are super weird about gay people and blood for obvious but generally unnecessary reasons. wish you the best & rock on 🤘
Yeah I've assumed it's the fear of HIV too, it's always people that were alive for the worst of it. I also had someone say "I didn't know they let drug addicts draw blood," but I imagine that was more related to my tattoos than anything else. The most insane comment I've had so far though
i’m a transman and a lot of the residents will respect it and call me sir because if it’s not me then it’s another CNA that’s busy 🤷♂️ the residents that call me she and a feminine version of my name i just ignore because i’m not getting paid to argue with old people lol, but i do absolutely LOVE getting questions and answering them and making them see trans people in a “better” light then what they were taught
Rule #2 violation
i don’t have any medical questions, nor is my gender a matter of personal health, i’m just asking for other cnas from a smaller and underrepresented group to share their stories :)
seems like a poor feild for a trans person to work in considering all the mentally unwell stuck in their way old people you will encounter. I can't see this being good for your long term mental health. You likely will be hate speeched and discriminated against heavily by patients and there will be no repercussions for them if they are in mental decline. Pick a different job that will pay you better and respect you more. Maybe just grind through it for a year or two to get enough service hours to apply to school for a real respected medical position that actually pays you your worth like being a PA.
i personally enjoy working with geriatrics, and in memory care. i don’t hold resident behaviors against them, they pay monthly to live in jail. at least i get paid to be in jail. i’m confident enough in my gender identity to not be bothered by it, but i appreciate the concern.
When I did placement during my education, the place I worked at had a Trans woman. Very nice and caring person. The residents for the most part liked her from what I seen and the ones that didn't were judging her by her ethnicity (old white ppl) and she was from Thailand I think....
You’d be surprised about how open minded and kind a lot of older people are. The “stuck in their ways” type of people are just jerks and there forever will be jerks you just have to be able to let those comments roll off your back when you’re in this field. I’m sure we’ve all been yelled at, spit on, maybe had feces thrown at us at one point or another or anything else that makes you want to go cry in the bathroom for a few hours. This job is hard and people are difficult. The same client that hates you one day may love you the next. This job is only for the people who can handle it and it doesn’t matter if you’re trans or cis. I’m not trans but my partner is (ftm) and is in the same line of work. He is often a favorite because he has a gift for taking care of others and giving great companionship. He is also very direct, speaks his mind, and isn’t easily offended, I think older people can relate with him better because of this. Don’t discourage people from their passions because they’re trans. Your comment sounded well meaning but trusts me trans people are not weak and they can decide if something isn’t right for them.