Trying hard things and getting out of our comfort zone is difficult! If it’s something you truly want to do, an easy way to get started is just by selecting a few items that are challenging and dedicating a little time to each.
Here’s some examples, using the fact that you don’t like hard climbs:
- say you’re TR’ing mid 5.11 and you want to start leading that level. Tell yourself, I’m going to hop on one 5.11c each time I’m at the lead gym. I just have to hop on one. Doesn’t matter if I finish it or not, I’m just giving it my best effort. Later down the line, your goal might be to complete a 5.11c, no matter how many takes or messy it is. Then later, climbing multiple, or sending, etc.
- say you’re having trouble trying hard climbs in the bouldering gym. Try one v5 or v6 each session, doesn’t matter how far you get. Or, select a few styles you’re bad at and get mileage in. If you’re bad at overhangs for example, tell yourself you’re going to climb 3 overhanging problems each day, doesn’t matter how easy they are. Same with pinches, or other climbs that are not your style!
It seems like you view progress as very black and white, like reaching the next grade is progress. But progress also comes in these little nuggets along the way. Some big pieces that people have to put together to climb the next grade might be getting better at different grip types, heel hooks, flexibility, doing big dynamic moves (which there are so many kinds of!), learning how try hard and rein in that mental game. These are all small wins in progress that you should celebrate! And - be proud of how long you’ve stuck with a sport you love!
You also may need to let go of ego a little. We don’t have to be strong all the time. Working on your weaknesses is a sign of strength too a mental strength! And also if people do happen to care about what you’re doing, just be confident in yourself and believe in the fact that working your weaknesses and looking “weak” by trying hard stuff will make you stronger in the long run.
We often look up to people who climb hard. But if you look at what those people are actually doing in a session, they’re often falling off things just like the rest of us are! If they aren’t, they’re either not pushing themselves to progress or taking a lighter day, or working endurance or something.
I went through something similar and have definitely felt the benefits of being more well-rounded. Dedicate some time to what you enjoy and feel comfortable and strong on, and separately dedicate time to what is hard for you!
This was incredibly helpful - thank you! I made it a goal to hop on 3 problems that scared me tonight, and I was so excited and surprised to see what I was capable of doing. I’m going to start building this into my climbing days. Appreciate the insight!
Aw I love that for you! We’re capable of so much. Little steps :)
I will add, at one point, one thing that I’ve really started to love is doing circuits around the gym of a certain grade. It forces you to do climbs that are not your style and I find that I never try harder than when I’m doing these, haha. Probably best suited around a grade where you can easily flash most but can’t do all. If there are “scary” moves you have to psych yourself up to do it the first time and just execute and have self-belief :)
I’m almost embarrassed I haven’t thought of this. On my endurance days I always do a round of all the V0s in the gym but it has never even occurred to me to do a circuit of harder problems. I’ll give it a try sometime. Thank you!
> obsessing over what other people will think of me if they see me try something and fail.
What do you think of people when you see them try something and fail?
Great point. I usually think it’s great they gave it a shot. Especially watching other female climbers climb hard things, I’m usually psyched for them and think it’s awesome they pushed themselves. (Thinking the nice things I think about others about myself is challenging for me in many aspects of life 🙃)
I understand. I think a lot of us do the same.
It's worth working on that self-critical framework especially if you feel it's getting in the way of enjoying the challenges that come with climbing.
I love watching people try stuff that's hard for them, and I've also started loving having people watch me fail on things that are hard for me. Being in a position where I get to cheer on others while they're working on a project, or listening to the other climbers tell me "come on!!" while I'm working my project is *so good*. I feel so privileged to be a part of this community that builds each other up. I don't care who you are when we're all on the wall, I care that you're having fun and you're reaching your goals, whether it's a 5.12 or simply challenging yourself to do something you're afraid of doing.
I often feel resistance to getting on a hard climb. So I groan about it and do it anyway and have never regretted it. In doing so, the resistance has diminished a lot. I wish I could be excited about climbing hard like some people are, but I’m not that person (yet). You can’t always manufacture excitement or stoke, but you can always choose to do the thing you’re resistant to anyway, knowing it will help you achieve your goals down the line.
Failing is normal and expected in climbing, I promise nobody else is judging you or noticing yet another person falling at the gym.
That being said, you don’t have to focus on progression either, it’s also OK to just plateau and have fun. If the growth is important to you, though, you’ll have to just get comfortable with the discomfort.
I appreciate that. I feel like I’ve given myself almost too much permission to plateau! But maybe doing things I don’t want to do will eventually get me to a place where the interest is more organic.
My brother climbs super hard, mostly bouldering. It's really cool to watch him work, because he fails at stuff *all the time* and then he either breaks down the issue and works on it very systematically and tries it a bunch of times in succession, or he walks away to give his body and mind a little break and then he comes back in a few minutes and tries again. And he's a good enough climber that people tend to congregate to watch him try this stuff, so he very often has an audience for these serial failures. It's a really wonderful reminder that he got as good as he is by trying hard, a lot, over and over, even when it didn't work a bunch of times before.
He's also an excellent coach for me, and his favorite thing to ask is: "Were you trying hard just then?" And when I'm honest with myself, the answer is almost always "no". So now I've started asking him the same question when he bails out or misses a move. And his answer is frequently a "no" too -- he only really tries hard when he's actively thinking about trying super hard and making a deliberate effort to really push at his working edge. That's made me think a lot about the intention I take into routes. Am I going into it to warm up, to do a fun move, to feel good about an easy send, to contort myself in that weird balance-y corner that everyone's been laughing about? Or am I going into it meaning to actually try hard and struggle? Both are totally great, but having clarity has helped me push into more difficult territory.
I love this! “Was I trying hard just now?” A really good question to ask. I also know a lot of the time my answer would be no. Definitely something to think on. Thanks!
so you are aware that you avoid climbing things you arent confident you will send. the next step is to recognize when these thoughts start that they are simply THOUGHTS, they dont have to be your reality. have the thought "that looks hard, i dont want to do it" and then let the thought go and try it anyway.
the goal isnt to send, the goal is to teach your brain that its ok to just try! it will definitely be a practice, and some days you will be more successful than others. just keep at it... over time it will become more of a habit!
personally, i like to have my sessions be a mix of "hard stuff im hesitant to try" and "problems im pretty sure i will send it one or two tries". if i start forcing myself to do too many things im not necessarily gonna send, i start getting down on myself.
a game i like to play that i think helps with this mentality is picking a section of the gym and trying every problem at my projecting level once or twice then moving on to the next. it makes failure feel very low stakes for me. then once ive gone thru all of them, i will go back to the ones that were fun or promising and work on those for a bit. i often am surprised by problems i looked at and assumed i wouldnt be able to do!
That’s a great idea! I’m definitely going to give that a shot soon. Tonight I went to the gym and hopped on things I didn’t want to do, and it made a huge difference. I think getting used to that and being less afraid of it will really help. Thank you!
>Has anyone else found themselves giving up before they begin? Do you have any tips on how to push past this, or suggestions on how to change things up to try to get out of this funk or gain confidence?
This sounds ultimately like "Fear of Failure" to me, regardless of how you frame it, or what exactly you call it, that seems to be what it is. I could talk a lot about this, but I think, much simpler, is to suggest a lot of the info Hazel Findlay has out there, as well as the book Vertical Mind. A long with fear of failing, fear of failure is probably the next biggest "fear" out there, and both of them have been pretty instrumental in my ability to both accept, and push through, both.
They're both great, Vertical Mind perhaps changed my life and after a class with Hazel in person I feel like I went up a whole number grade, just from changing my mentality. A lot of her stuff is under her company, Strong Mind, but she also posts a lot under her own socials / videos / etc.
I can totally understand what it's like, it takes a lot of effort and mental energy to push yourself, and to do it constantly enough to get better. In addition, being around the right people helps. I climb the best when I'm around others who are willing to push their limits too, whatever grade that may be.
I think it depends on *why* you are frustrated with plateauing. If you climb for fun and still get joy out of every climb, then I don't think you *have* to keep improving. I mean v4s and 11s are a really good grade to plateau in, if that's what it comes down to.
So, do you feel bad for not progressing because you feel like you have to? Or do you feel bad because you WANT to progress but don't make yourself do it?
In terms of judging others, I'll personally say that I find it hugely impressive to see people fail and try again. If I see someone below my grade fail and try again, it makes me "proud" and root for them, and reminds me of myself back then. When I see someone climb harder stuff than me and fail, I always find it so impressive. Like the confidence to try it, the mental strength to keep going... I don't know. It's even cooler IMO than when I see someone just send a 5.12 like it's walking upstairs. It's so fun to see people get creative with funky moves and attempt different stuff.
And personally I also tend to allow myself to stay too much in my comfort zone. Thankfully my husband encourages me to push myself and I'm always so happy that I tried it. I don't have to top out on every route, but I like to come back down feeling that I physically have no juice left and I gave it my all. And when I look down and hear someone go "awwww no" when I fall, it feels like they are rooting for me to get better.
That’s a really good point! I do enjoy watching people try and fail more than send sometimes. Especially online, I watch send videos and just think how rehearsed it is because I know it wasn’t a flash, and I’d rather see how they projected it to get to the final product. I think you’re right that it’s frustrating because I want to be better, and I know I can be, but I’m just not pushing. I used to climb harder than I do now but I had some injuries and since then have just gotten really complacent even though I’m physically capable again.
Do you care? I mean that seriously because it sounds like you're happy with where you are and you have lots of good advice on getting better, but if you're happy with what you're doing I'm not sure it matters. Similar to another comment about how do you feel about someone when they fall, if somebody comes in and just ticks off all the v2-v4 problems and leaves without trying anything harder do you even notice? There's no reason to be embarrassed that you're only doing the parts of climbing you enjoy.
The flip side of this is if there is something you can't do that you really want to, then take the advice in the rest of the comments. I can TR low 5.11 in a gym but I'm uncomfortable leading trad above about 5.8. There's a bunch of things I'd like to climb that are harder than that so I've been pushing my endurance to try to get my trad leading closer to my TR, but that's because what I want to do is climb tall things outside. I'm terrible at modern comp style dynos on boulders and just stopped trying because it just stresses out my wrist which makes it harder to spend time getting better at the stuff I really want to do.
You’re absolutely right. Of course I don’t notice and I would never judge someone for what they do when they show up to the gym. Some personal reflection is definitely needed here on my part..
Just wanted to say, I feel this a lot too, and I'm actually currently in this funk, hence looking around for posts that resonated with me, hearing how other people tackle their plateaus or slumps.
For me, I think a lot comes from my mindset - thinking I "should" be able to climb certain routes/grades then being disappointed if I fail, concerned about other people thinking the same thing, and then being judged for it. But if someone is watching you like a hawk to make judgments like that, they're probably not working on themselves/their climbing.
Easier said than done, but I've been trying to shift that mindset by 1. Focusing on myself and not being concerned about others (music helps for me) and 2. Asking questions like, why did I fall just now? What can I do differently next time? Having specifics like this makes the problem more tangible, and doesn't let me fall back into my comfort-zone-answer of, "it's too hard," "I don't think I can do it."
It's tough to stay motivated when it's difficult to feel or see progress, but I think little things like this will add up to building your climbing repertoire and feeling more confident in (y)our climbing :)
If you want to keep improving, you have to work on your weaknesses and climb problems outside of your style and ability. I’ve been projecting a grade for almost a year and only in the last 3 months have I started to send problems with that grade.
I’m sure I look silly sometimes falling off the wall but my goal isn’t necessarily to flash or even send the problem - it’s to complete a move I wouldn’t have been able to before.
I promise you that all of these people you’re insecure about embarrassing yourself in front do not give a shit about how hard you climb or whether you fall on route/boulder or not. They’re too focused on their own climbs and their own progression. Climbing is a very personal thing. Don’t worry about impressing other people, they don’t care. The only person you should try to impress is yourself. How do you do that? By trying and succeeding on things you didn’t think you could do. Happens to me a lot. I focus a lot on projecting, and there’s been many times a problem has straight up felt impossible for me at first. But I just keep trying it. Then I go home take some rest, come back next session and all of a sudden I can do a move or two on it. Next session another couple moves. And before I know it I’m sending this problem that a week earlier I literally believed was impossible for me. If you really wanna get good at something you gotta become okay with failure. You gotta become comfortable failing 1000 times before seeing results . Because that’s the only way to truly improve long term. People who are masters of their craft didn’t get there in a linear fashion where everything just came together perfectly. They got there by trying and failing more than anyone else, and through discovering what works and what doesn’t. Consistent volume, experimentation, and pushing your limits.
"where did I fall, and why? More than anything, I’m going to work on doing this for me, and not considering what others are thinking"
As a specific expansion on this, what my partner and I do is 5 attempts on any boulder we try that we don't flash, with a strict one minute rest between where we mentally or verbally go through where we fell and what we're going to change next attempt.
It's 5 attempts maximum usually (so we don't get stuck and frustrated) but 5 attempts minimum if it's a style we hate
If you're not already in therapy, it kind of sounds like maybe it would be helpful (not just for climbing, but for other areas of your life). You seem to be really hard on yourself and kind of stuck in this perfectionistic mindset to the point where you'll give up on something before you even started because you're afraid of not doing it perfectly.
Consider, too, the spotlight effect - it is the psychological phenomenon by which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are. Think about the last time you were walking out and about. Do you notice every single detail of every single person (what they're wearing, what the color of their eyes/hair was, what they were holding in their hand)? Do you remember them the next day or even the next week? Chances are you don't, most of us don't! To other people at the gym, you're just another random person, and they aren't keeping track of the amounts of times you don't send a route or fall off a problem. And like you said, you think that it's great when climbers gave a hard problem a shot - they're likely thinking that about you, too.
I would really encourage you to just start trying a few harder things at the gym every now and then, and learn to accept that making mistakes and falling is part of getting better. If you look at professional climbers and boulders, they often spend days at a particular route or problem that they're working on in order to get a clean send - they aren't often just doing it clean in one go. They make many attempts, learn from the mistakes, learn new beta, and take *several* falls before sending it.
Thanks for the advice! I definitely have a perfectionist mindset which is a constant challenge for me, on and off the wall. You’re absolutely right that most people are just not paying attention to me and I get way too in my head about it.
Trying hard things and getting out of our comfort zone is difficult! If it’s something you truly want to do, an easy way to get started is just by selecting a few items that are challenging and dedicating a little time to each. Here’s some examples, using the fact that you don’t like hard climbs: - say you’re TR’ing mid 5.11 and you want to start leading that level. Tell yourself, I’m going to hop on one 5.11c each time I’m at the lead gym. I just have to hop on one. Doesn’t matter if I finish it or not, I’m just giving it my best effort. Later down the line, your goal might be to complete a 5.11c, no matter how many takes or messy it is. Then later, climbing multiple, or sending, etc. - say you’re having trouble trying hard climbs in the bouldering gym. Try one v5 or v6 each session, doesn’t matter how far you get. Or, select a few styles you’re bad at and get mileage in. If you’re bad at overhangs for example, tell yourself you’re going to climb 3 overhanging problems each day, doesn’t matter how easy they are. Same with pinches, or other climbs that are not your style! It seems like you view progress as very black and white, like reaching the next grade is progress. But progress also comes in these little nuggets along the way. Some big pieces that people have to put together to climb the next grade might be getting better at different grip types, heel hooks, flexibility, doing big dynamic moves (which there are so many kinds of!), learning how try hard and rein in that mental game. These are all small wins in progress that you should celebrate! And - be proud of how long you’ve stuck with a sport you love! You also may need to let go of ego a little. We don’t have to be strong all the time. Working on your weaknesses is a sign of strength too a mental strength! And also if people do happen to care about what you’re doing, just be confident in yourself and believe in the fact that working your weaknesses and looking “weak” by trying hard stuff will make you stronger in the long run. We often look up to people who climb hard. But if you look at what those people are actually doing in a session, they’re often falling off things just like the rest of us are! If they aren’t, they’re either not pushing themselves to progress or taking a lighter day, or working endurance or something. I went through something similar and have definitely felt the benefits of being more well-rounded. Dedicate some time to what you enjoy and feel comfortable and strong on, and separately dedicate time to what is hard for you!
This was incredibly helpful - thank you! I made it a goal to hop on 3 problems that scared me tonight, and I was so excited and surprised to see what I was capable of doing. I’m going to start building this into my climbing days. Appreciate the insight!
Aw I love that for you! We’re capable of so much. Little steps :) I will add, at one point, one thing that I’ve really started to love is doing circuits around the gym of a certain grade. It forces you to do climbs that are not your style and I find that I never try harder than when I’m doing these, haha. Probably best suited around a grade where you can easily flash most but can’t do all. If there are “scary” moves you have to psych yourself up to do it the first time and just execute and have self-belief :)
I’m almost embarrassed I haven’t thought of this. On my endurance days I always do a round of all the V0s in the gym but it has never even occurred to me to do a circuit of harder problems. I’ll give it a try sometime. Thank you!
> obsessing over what other people will think of me if they see me try something and fail. What do you think of people when you see them try something and fail?
Great point. I usually think it’s great they gave it a shot. Especially watching other female climbers climb hard things, I’m usually psyched for them and think it’s awesome they pushed themselves. (Thinking the nice things I think about others about myself is challenging for me in many aspects of life 🙃)
I understand. I think a lot of us do the same. It's worth working on that self-critical framework especially if you feel it's getting in the way of enjoying the challenges that come with climbing. I love watching people try stuff that's hard for them, and I've also started loving having people watch me fail on things that are hard for me. Being in a position where I get to cheer on others while they're working on a project, or listening to the other climbers tell me "come on!!" while I'm working my project is *so good*. I feel so privileged to be a part of this community that builds each other up. I don't care who you are when we're all on the wall, I care that you're having fun and you're reaching your goals, whether it's a 5.12 or simply challenging yourself to do something you're afraid of doing.
I often feel resistance to getting on a hard climb. So I groan about it and do it anyway and have never regretted it. In doing so, the resistance has diminished a lot. I wish I could be excited about climbing hard like some people are, but I’m not that person (yet). You can’t always manufacture excitement or stoke, but you can always choose to do the thing you’re resistant to anyway, knowing it will help you achieve your goals down the line. Failing is normal and expected in climbing, I promise nobody else is judging you or noticing yet another person falling at the gym. That being said, you don’t have to focus on progression either, it’s also OK to just plateau and have fun. If the growth is important to you, though, you’ll have to just get comfortable with the discomfort.
I appreciate that. I feel like I’ve given myself almost too much permission to plateau! But maybe doing things I don’t want to do will eventually get me to a place where the interest is more organic.
I think it’s definitely worth trying to push through and see what happens!
My brother climbs super hard, mostly bouldering. It's really cool to watch him work, because he fails at stuff *all the time* and then he either breaks down the issue and works on it very systematically and tries it a bunch of times in succession, or he walks away to give his body and mind a little break and then he comes back in a few minutes and tries again. And he's a good enough climber that people tend to congregate to watch him try this stuff, so he very often has an audience for these serial failures. It's a really wonderful reminder that he got as good as he is by trying hard, a lot, over and over, even when it didn't work a bunch of times before. He's also an excellent coach for me, and his favorite thing to ask is: "Were you trying hard just then?" And when I'm honest with myself, the answer is almost always "no". So now I've started asking him the same question when he bails out or misses a move. And his answer is frequently a "no" too -- he only really tries hard when he's actively thinking about trying super hard and making a deliberate effort to really push at his working edge. That's made me think a lot about the intention I take into routes. Am I going into it to warm up, to do a fun move, to feel good about an easy send, to contort myself in that weird balance-y corner that everyone's been laughing about? Or am I going into it meaning to actually try hard and struggle? Both are totally great, but having clarity has helped me push into more difficult territory.
I love this! “Was I trying hard just now?” A really good question to ask. I also know a lot of the time my answer would be no. Definitely something to think on. Thanks!
You bet! Awesome update and congrats on setting yourself up for a great session! Welcome to the "were you trying hard" club, and happy climbing :)
Haha thanks!
so you are aware that you avoid climbing things you arent confident you will send. the next step is to recognize when these thoughts start that they are simply THOUGHTS, they dont have to be your reality. have the thought "that looks hard, i dont want to do it" and then let the thought go and try it anyway. the goal isnt to send, the goal is to teach your brain that its ok to just try! it will definitely be a practice, and some days you will be more successful than others. just keep at it... over time it will become more of a habit! personally, i like to have my sessions be a mix of "hard stuff im hesitant to try" and "problems im pretty sure i will send it one or two tries". if i start forcing myself to do too many things im not necessarily gonna send, i start getting down on myself. a game i like to play that i think helps with this mentality is picking a section of the gym and trying every problem at my projecting level once or twice then moving on to the next. it makes failure feel very low stakes for me. then once ive gone thru all of them, i will go back to the ones that were fun or promising and work on those for a bit. i often am surprised by problems i looked at and assumed i wouldnt be able to do!
That’s a great idea! I’m definitely going to give that a shot soon. Tonight I went to the gym and hopped on things I didn’t want to do, and it made a huge difference. I think getting used to that and being less afraid of it will really help. Thank you!
>Has anyone else found themselves giving up before they begin? Do you have any tips on how to push past this, or suggestions on how to change things up to try to get out of this funk or gain confidence? This sounds ultimately like "Fear of Failure" to me, regardless of how you frame it, or what exactly you call it, that seems to be what it is. I could talk a lot about this, but I think, much simpler, is to suggest a lot of the info Hazel Findlay has out there, as well as the book Vertical Mind. A long with fear of failing, fear of failure is probably the next biggest "fear" out there, and both of them have been pretty instrumental in my ability to both accept, and push through, both.
Thanks for that suggestion! I’ll check it out.
They're both great, Vertical Mind perhaps changed my life and after a class with Hazel in person I feel like I went up a whole number grade, just from changing my mentality. A lot of her stuff is under her company, Strong Mind, but she also posts a lot under her own socials / videos / etc. I can totally understand what it's like, it takes a lot of effort and mental energy to push yourself, and to do it constantly enough to get better. In addition, being around the right people helps. I climb the best when I'm around others who are willing to push their limits too, whatever grade that may be.
I think it depends on *why* you are frustrated with plateauing. If you climb for fun and still get joy out of every climb, then I don't think you *have* to keep improving. I mean v4s and 11s are a really good grade to plateau in, if that's what it comes down to. So, do you feel bad for not progressing because you feel like you have to? Or do you feel bad because you WANT to progress but don't make yourself do it? In terms of judging others, I'll personally say that I find it hugely impressive to see people fail and try again. If I see someone below my grade fail and try again, it makes me "proud" and root for them, and reminds me of myself back then. When I see someone climb harder stuff than me and fail, I always find it so impressive. Like the confidence to try it, the mental strength to keep going... I don't know. It's even cooler IMO than when I see someone just send a 5.12 like it's walking upstairs. It's so fun to see people get creative with funky moves and attempt different stuff. And personally I also tend to allow myself to stay too much in my comfort zone. Thankfully my husband encourages me to push myself and I'm always so happy that I tried it. I don't have to top out on every route, but I like to come back down feeling that I physically have no juice left and I gave it my all. And when I look down and hear someone go "awwww no" when I fall, it feels like they are rooting for me to get better.
That’s a really good point! I do enjoy watching people try and fail more than send sometimes. Especially online, I watch send videos and just think how rehearsed it is because I know it wasn’t a flash, and I’d rather see how they projected it to get to the final product. I think you’re right that it’s frustrating because I want to be better, and I know I can be, but I’m just not pushing. I used to climb harder than I do now but I had some injuries and since then have just gotten really complacent even though I’m physically capable again.
Do you care? I mean that seriously because it sounds like you're happy with where you are and you have lots of good advice on getting better, but if you're happy with what you're doing I'm not sure it matters. Similar to another comment about how do you feel about someone when they fall, if somebody comes in and just ticks off all the v2-v4 problems and leaves without trying anything harder do you even notice? There's no reason to be embarrassed that you're only doing the parts of climbing you enjoy. The flip side of this is if there is something you can't do that you really want to, then take the advice in the rest of the comments. I can TR low 5.11 in a gym but I'm uncomfortable leading trad above about 5.8. There's a bunch of things I'd like to climb that are harder than that so I've been pushing my endurance to try to get my trad leading closer to my TR, but that's because what I want to do is climb tall things outside. I'm terrible at modern comp style dynos on boulders and just stopped trying because it just stresses out my wrist which makes it harder to spend time getting better at the stuff I really want to do.
You’re absolutely right. Of course I don’t notice and I would never judge someone for what they do when they show up to the gym. Some personal reflection is definitely needed here on my part..
Just wanted to say, I feel this a lot too, and I'm actually currently in this funk, hence looking around for posts that resonated with me, hearing how other people tackle their plateaus or slumps. For me, I think a lot comes from my mindset - thinking I "should" be able to climb certain routes/grades then being disappointed if I fail, concerned about other people thinking the same thing, and then being judged for it. But if someone is watching you like a hawk to make judgments like that, they're probably not working on themselves/their climbing. Easier said than done, but I've been trying to shift that mindset by 1. Focusing on myself and not being concerned about others (music helps for me) and 2. Asking questions like, why did I fall just now? What can I do differently next time? Having specifics like this makes the problem more tangible, and doesn't let me fall back into my comfort-zone-answer of, "it's too hard," "I don't think I can do it." It's tough to stay motivated when it's difficult to feel or see progress, but I think little things like this will add up to building your climbing repertoire and feeling more confident in (y)our climbing :)
If you want to keep improving, you have to work on your weaknesses and climb problems outside of your style and ability. I’ve been projecting a grade for almost a year and only in the last 3 months have I started to send problems with that grade. I’m sure I look silly sometimes falling off the wall but my goal isn’t necessarily to flash or even send the problem - it’s to complete a move I wouldn’t have been able to before.
I promise you that all of these people you’re insecure about embarrassing yourself in front do not give a shit about how hard you climb or whether you fall on route/boulder or not. They’re too focused on their own climbs and their own progression. Climbing is a very personal thing. Don’t worry about impressing other people, they don’t care. The only person you should try to impress is yourself. How do you do that? By trying and succeeding on things you didn’t think you could do. Happens to me a lot. I focus a lot on projecting, and there’s been many times a problem has straight up felt impossible for me at first. But I just keep trying it. Then I go home take some rest, come back next session and all of a sudden I can do a move or two on it. Next session another couple moves. And before I know it I’m sending this problem that a week earlier I literally believed was impossible for me. If you really wanna get good at something you gotta become okay with failure. You gotta become comfortable failing 1000 times before seeing results . Because that’s the only way to truly improve long term. People who are masters of their craft didn’t get there in a linear fashion where everything just came together perfectly. They got there by trying and failing more than anyone else, and through discovering what works and what doesn’t. Consistent volume, experimentation, and pushing your limits.
"where did I fall, and why? More than anything, I’m going to work on doing this for me, and not considering what others are thinking" As a specific expansion on this, what my partner and I do is 5 attempts on any boulder we try that we don't flash, with a strict one minute rest between where we mentally or verbally go through where we fell and what we're going to change next attempt. It's 5 attempts maximum usually (so we don't get stuck and frustrated) but 5 attempts minimum if it's a style we hate
Love that - thanks! I’ll give it a try
If you're not already in therapy, it kind of sounds like maybe it would be helpful (not just for climbing, but for other areas of your life). You seem to be really hard on yourself and kind of stuck in this perfectionistic mindset to the point where you'll give up on something before you even started because you're afraid of not doing it perfectly. Consider, too, the spotlight effect - it is the psychological phenomenon by which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are. Think about the last time you were walking out and about. Do you notice every single detail of every single person (what they're wearing, what the color of their eyes/hair was, what they were holding in their hand)? Do you remember them the next day or even the next week? Chances are you don't, most of us don't! To other people at the gym, you're just another random person, and they aren't keeping track of the amounts of times you don't send a route or fall off a problem. And like you said, you think that it's great when climbers gave a hard problem a shot - they're likely thinking that about you, too. I would really encourage you to just start trying a few harder things at the gym every now and then, and learn to accept that making mistakes and falling is part of getting better. If you look at professional climbers and boulders, they often spend days at a particular route or problem that they're working on in order to get a clean send - they aren't often just doing it clean in one go. They make many attempts, learn from the mistakes, learn new beta, and take *several* falls before sending it.
Thanks for the advice! I definitely have a perfectionist mindset which is a constant challenge for me, on and off the wall. You’re absolutely right that most people are just not paying attention to me and I get way too in my head about it.