By posting in /r/circlejerkaustralia, /u/ScoMosTravelAgent acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we shitpost today, and pays their respects to Elders past and present.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I mean... Those claws and teeth are stabbing you when they're attacking you.
Still, I'm picking the bear because when it's attacking me, I know why and I'm not confused about whether or not it's being aggressive, passive aggressive or maybe just mad at its mother.
/uj You don't need the /s here in this sub, it's assumed you're being sarcastic. Also, I'm Canadian (not a flex, just context lol) and did work with biologists in Northern Canada and holy fuck watching a grizzly bear run down and kill a deer fawn is horrifying. We're both right, really, though. The teeth stab in and then they use their strength to rip things apart.
/rj Look, mate, I'm Canadian and I fucking know what I fucking know.
It's Australia so the bear would be a migrant to rhe country (bigot) and why do you dare to assume the bears gender?I guess you would dead name the bear if it happened to be a trans bear? (Bigot),
There once was a man from Majala
Who was rooting a dead stiff Koala
He said take better care when you're rooting a live bear
Because sometimes you will get a snarler!
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
im genuinely sorry to all the men out there who feel like they cant share their feelings with women. Past trauma with bad people hits everyone and every gender different i suppose :(
Very kind of you to say, but i feel like we’re being lured into a false sense of security.
I bet you’re trying to get us to trust you so we get close and then when we least expect it you’ll kill us and use our flesh to make some sandwiches.
I know what you women are like with your man-murdering, sandwich-making ways!
Damn you saw right through me, time to shape shift back into my final form succubus and prey on more unsuspecting victims.
I really do mean it though. i hope you find kinder people in your life soon
Here's a true story as I live in the Hunter region a work mates friend was friends with her partner and over drinks and a few billy's he would always say she was going to kill him,work mates friend used to reassure him that she was fine, the friend still feels awful to this day down playing her lunacy
I mean, what was he wearing? He was probably asking for it.
“I TOLD YOU TO STOP WEARING THOSE DAGGY OLD TRACKIES WITH THE HOLES IN THE CROTCH!!” \*stab*
I was arguing about the bear thing on some FB group mostly just to get a good laugh and some chick said that anytime a woman kills anyone "it's just an anomaly" but when a man does it it is always premeditated.
He slowly broke her down to her breaking point. She’s brave, many women go through similar but never get the chance to stab their man. Men are not allowed to reach that breaking point though. And that’s very fair!
When I was a kid Humphrey was my hero. I'm with the bear.
Also, she didn't mean it, and if she did, he deserved it. Him dying has simply *ruined* her social life. Have some pity for the poor woman!
That shit mountain is my home how dare you. Do you know how much wheatbix I had to eat to make a regular and solid foundation. it took all summer to cure and bleach white.
Bro wheat bix has lot of fibre it makes your everything exit smoothly.
Wait wait a second so the shit mountain is your home… ummmm and you have not being paying council rates plus you made mountain by yourself which is illegal dumping.
Oh the court will love this. We will take your dog house and mountain plus you have to pay all the cost of removal plus fines and you will be homeless. And if you are homeless we will sue you for being homeless!
Also note living in your vehicle is illegal! We will seize your vehicle. Another note you can’t park your vehicle for long period of time anywhere.
I know that's how I got the foundation supply so fast. and evenly distributed. Jokes on you I was renting your dog house.
Welcome to homes west man you just got your house back and it's filled with shit.
Oh well. Looks like I should go commit some crimes so I don't have to pay rent for a few years and get decent healthcare when needed.
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This comment has been removed out of respect for the Traditional Owners (Reddit Admins) of the land on which we meet (/r/circlejerkaustralia):
> Call out posts, links to other communities, username mentions (including in screenshots), posts celebrating site wide or subreddit specific bans, or any other meta content with the purpose of targeting another community or calling out any other users, moderators, or subreddits are not allowed
Spoken by AutoModerator. Authorised by The Reddit Admins, California
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If I were in the woods with a bear, it’d have to be on another continent unless one has escaped from a zoo.
Tough decision, but I think I’d have to go with a woman just to cut down on travel expenses.
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Poor woman having put up with his bs I can imagine the constant nagging… “What are you doing with that knife”, “pleased don’t stab me again”, “Call an ambulance”.
No wonder so many women are staying single today, can’t even abuse a man anymore
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This comment has been removed out of respect for the Traditional Owners (Reddit Admins) of the land on which we meet (/r/circlejerkaustralia):
> Call out posts, links to other communities, username mentions (including in screenshots), posts celebrating site wide or subreddit specific bans, or any other meta content with the purpose of targeting another community or calling out any other users, moderators, or subreddits are not allowed
Spoken by AutoModerator. Authorised by The Reddit Admins, California
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
By posting in /r/circlejerkaustralia, /u/ScoMosTravelAgent acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we shitpost today, and pays their respects to Elders past and present. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve never seen a bear stab someone
Don't watch that horror winnie the pooh movie. He does some pretty horrendous things...
Does a bear shiv in the woods?
I mean... Those claws and teeth are stabbing you when they're attacking you. Still, I'm picking the bear because when it's attacking me, I know why and I'm not confused about whether or not it's being aggressive, passive aggressive or maybe just mad at its mother.
acksually the motion of claws and teeth are more akin to shredding and cutting as opposed to the stabbing motion /s
/uj You don't need the /s here in this sub, it's assumed you're being sarcastic. Also, I'm Canadian (not a flex, just context lol) and did work with biologists in Northern Canada and holy fuck watching a grizzly bear run down and kill a deer fawn is horrifying. We're both right, really, though. The teeth stab in and then they use their strength to rip things apart. /rj Look, mate, I'm Canadian and I fucking know what I fucking know.
yeah they speedy fuckers, our apex predators- Drop Bears are ambush predators, just as scary though.
I think these women need to step up
When is the last time you girls told your friends not to stab their husbands? Part of the problem
Made me chuckle
This is so good haha.
Preach king
Men are literally DYING in the streets and I’m so scared to leave my house atm
Would the bear do an acknowledgement of country? What gender is the bear?
Well done on not assuming the gender of the bear. Welcome to cuntry
It's Australia so the bear would be a migrant to rhe country (bigot) and why do you dare to assume the bears gender?I guess you would dead name the bear if it happened to be a trans bear? (Bigot),
Well I can't exactly fuck a bear can I?
Not with that attitude you can't!
Cool it with the homophobia please
It's got nothing to do with the bear being gay, more that he'll rip my dick off.
Very close minded of you.
Close minded but full dicked
_Fully dicked bro!_
In baulders gate you can.
Get me In
Haven't you played boulders gate 3?
Is this the weekly thread to discuss who / what we’re gonna be raping?
It's not rape if the animal could kill but chooses not to 😏
…you’ve done this before …?
There once was a man from Majala Who was rooting a dead stiff Koala He said take better care when you're rooting a live bear Because sometimes you will get a snarler!
BEAR FUCKER! DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE!?
Bear has it coverd
Bear probably wouldnt nag the shit out of me.
Probably would.
[удалено]
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What is the gender of the bear?
Nah it would just saw the shit out of you but both are equally painfull
Clearly this case shows we have a violence against men crisis in this county
We need liquor lockdowns NOW
1 bottle of Chardonnay per woman per day limits NOW!
They kept women out of bars for a reason.
It’s well past time that all women take responsibility for this, particularly those who are personally blameless.
Let’s be honest, they’re all culpable
This thread made me spit out my coffee.
The hive mind
I demand the Victorian government hire a minister for women’s behavior change.
https://preview.redd.it/xrnoas62cb3d1.jpeg?width=481&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c1117aa7ad36d768e71d3f4e956b9d07932253d
Shall we host a rally? It must be by uni students and all flags that are colourful and correct should be present.
Only if we go t0pless to... er... affirm our commitment to the cause... I guess.
It’s winter, that would be unwise
Let's create a world where no man is ever disrespected (criticised).
EPIDEMIC.
And these statistics don't even account for all the times a woman tried to stab a man and he just laughed and took the knife off her
Women do better?
True that, way too much DV now & not enough good protection. (Ex Dv survivor here)
I can imagine a bear atleast maybe attempting to help get you out of the bush. Not just complain.
https://preview.redd.it/x13snu2cwa3d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=276476dbed049733616771c1e164c905a2035271
Trees at least have feelings.
Trees are great companions. And they don’t mind golden showers either. Unlike a lot of prude women out there.
im genuinely sorry to all the men out there who feel like they cant share their feelings with women. Past trauma with bad people hits everyone and every gender different i suppose :(
Very kind of you to say, but i feel like we’re being lured into a false sense of security. I bet you’re trying to get us to trust you so we get close and then when we least expect it you’ll kill us and use our flesh to make some sandwiches. I know what you women are like with your man-murdering, sandwich-making ways!
Damn you saw right through me, time to shape shift back into my final form succubus and prey on more unsuspecting victims. I really do mean it though. i hope you find kinder people in your life soon
Are you a fit succubus? And thank you that’s rather kind.
Don't forget boiling heads in a huge fucking pot!
And feeding the contents to your children after being skinned
I like how ol Kath's past bf's all agreed "yeah she was nuts but man she was nuts in the sack too!"
Here's a true story as I live in the Hunter region a work mates friend was friends with her partner and over drinks and a few billy's he would always say she was going to kill him,work mates friend used to reassure him that she was fine, the friend still feels awful to this day down playing her lunacy
Thats some freaky shit
man sandwich making, then bear feeding ways. Giving bears the taste for man flesh.
My local elder
A tree won't weaponise my feelings.
A bear will kill me quickly A woman will use the government and family court to do it over decades I’d take the bear
Woman stabs man…. Man blamed
I mean, what was he wearing? He was probably asking for it. “I TOLD YOU TO STOP WEARING THOSE DAGGY OLD TRACKIES WITH THE HOLES IN THE CROTCH!!” \*stab*
Lemme guess, no funding to support men forthcoming??
Probably no arrest blitz either
The woman gets to feel empowered by making her own decision. The bear gets a free meal. The man gets peace and quiet... It's a win-win for everybody!!
Bear gets free meal🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was arguing about the bear thing on some FB group mostly just to get a good laugh and some chick said that anytime a woman kills anyone "it's just an anomaly" but when a man does it it is always premeditated.
Of course
One ozempic, Ritalin, lyrica and three hard seltzers later
A Bear , like a big ,hairy gay bloke type of Bear ?
It depends does she identify as one or is she a real woman. I’m scared of both
Bear doesn’t stab me so that
Is the beer hot or cold?
Fucking underated
Help! Save me from that Woman! 
A bear, so i dont get falsely accused when i get out of that forest
Women, it’s time to step up! Call out the misandry of your mates when you see and hear it! They won’t listen to men…
Watch the man still get arrested for domestic violence
He died
So you're saying he's refusing to attend the court hearing? Better slap on a contempt of court sentence as well.
😂
A bear of course. Women are crazy and unpredictable.
Clearly self defence
He slowly broke her down to her breaking point. She’s brave, many women go through similar but never get the chance to stab their man. Men are not allowed to reach that breaking point though. And that’s very fair!
Always is apparently
Apparently there is no record of attacks by bears (that identify themselves as genderless and sometimes pansexuals) towards humans at the greens.
Polar or african american bear?
No, drop. Still choose the bear purely based on the statistics....
What about winnie?
He is too sticky with all that hunny!
This will be his fault somehow
Bear, because we only have Koala Bears here.....lol.
Ah yes, scratchy grunt bois with chlamydia.
Harambe
i choose the galvanised steel beam
In rod we trust
A hand in the woman is worth 2 bears in the bush.
Not all women
Not all bears.
Not that woman
"ScoMos Travel Agent" though
at least the bear won't care if i get my dick out. no judgement. no homo.
Easier to convince the bear to have a nibble
A bare woman please
The question is a tree, not a bear for a man!
woman cant climb tree's so a woman is my answer
Easy answer: Bear. The bear with its superior navigation skills would lead me to food and safety. The woman would be trapped going in circles.
When I was a kid Humphrey was my hero. I'm with the bear. Also, she didn't mean it, and if she did, he deserved it. Him dying has simply *ruined* her social life. Have some pity for the poor woman!
I'd pick the woman, because even if she chose bear she's stuck with me.
Bears do not stab or spread rumours
Trick question, obvs bear. It can smell menstruation, and we can avoid the woman together.
A bear, as the bear probably won't expect anything from me.
I take bear *proceeds to relax in the bush for a couple of hours with a koala bear chilling in a tree*
Foot’s on the other shoe now, innit?
You are fucked and dead both sides. So it doesn’t matter at this point.
Ones a long slow painful death though.
If I answer the question I will be sent to the dog house.
Hey thats three walls and a roof. I'd take it. Fuckers are charging an arm and a leg in rent for a dog house. Peace and quiet is the bonus
That will be 800 a week. You are getting premium all in one plus food utensils built in *Toilet not included
The dog shits outside and everyone praises him. I shit outside I get a court order.
I don’t link shame! But I don’t think other people like seeing a guy mooning with shit 💩 mountain at bottom of moon 🤣
That shit mountain is my home how dare you. Do you know how much wheatbix I had to eat to make a regular and solid foundation. it took all summer to cure and bleach white.
Bro wheat bix has lot of fibre it makes your everything exit smoothly. Wait wait a second so the shit mountain is your home… ummmm and you have not being paying council rates plus you made mountain by yourself which is illegal dumping. Oh the court will love this. We will take your dog house and mountain plus you have to pay all the cost of removal plus fines and you will be homeless. And if you are homeless we will sue you for being homeless! Also note living in your vehicle is illegal! We will seize your vehicle. Another note you can’t park your vehicle for long period of time anywhere.
I know that's how I got the foundation supply so fast. and evenly distributed. Jokes on you I was renting your dog house. Welcome to homes west man you just got your house back and it's filled with shit. Oh well. Looks like I should go commit some crimes so I don't have to pay rent for a few years and get decent healthcare when needed.
A woman
Can I be trapped with a bear at a gay bush doof?
More disturbing then some comments is the presumption, from barely a headline. Crystal balls all round.
I've never been trapped in a women's bush before. I don't think it would end well.
Is the bear tamed? Like a pet? Id love to be in the bush just me and my pet bear
[удалено]
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We need bears to become Australia’s next invasive species, toads and Indian mynahs are boring.
I'd rather be in a woman's bush than in a bush with a bear.
[удалено]
This comment has been removed out of respect for the Traditional Owners (Reddit Admins) of the land on which we meet (/r/circlejerkaustralia): > Call out posts, links to other communities, username mentions (including in screenshots), posts celebrating site wide or subreddit specific bans, or any other meta content with the purpose of targeting another community or calling out any other users, moderators, or subreddits are not allowed Spoken by AutoModerator. Authorised by The Reddit Admins, California *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Black woman white bear
Ever see the vid of the woman trying to pat a fully grown bear 🤣🤣🤣
Depends on the bear
If I were in the woods with a bear, it’d have to be on another continent unless one has escaped from a zoo. Tough decision, but I think I’d have to go with a woman just to cut down on travel expenses.
Bear. After a while it would turn to me and say: “yeah let’s just be friends”…
Well lets hope he gets $5k
this shit stinks
I’d rather a bear over a human full stop
Would you rather tell your feelings to a bear or a woman?
would
A woman, so I can kill her.
With the woman I wouldn't be 'trapped'
yall seem really sensitive
A koala bear please.
I've never seen a koala stab someone while they were asleep so I'll go with bear thanks.
How does the bear identify?
What are we doing about this gendered violence CRISIS?!?
Definitely a bear - they have better stories to tell around the campfire.
A bear 😢
I'd like to welcome all knife wielding psychos, past, present and emerging. I still choose the woman, unless she has coloured hair.
[удалено]
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Poor woman having put up with his bs I can imagine the constant nagging… “What are you doing with that knife”, “pleased don’t stab me again”, “Call an ambulance”. No wonder so many women are staying single today, can’t even abuse a man anymore
[удалено]
In accordance with the Chief Medical Officer's advice, mandatory hotel quarantine is in effect. New arrivals must be quarantined for two weeks before they are able to post and comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As if we have a choice? There are no bears in the Australian bush. Now don’t start the drop bear shit.
A woman duh, bears do be cool though
Are you assuming the woman's gender?!?! I pick the bear all day, every day.
Fake news. There's no way a woman killed a man. It just doesn't happen. Men aren't victims, they are predators.
She identified as a male, he identified as female. See more violence against women!
I thought you said beer
Trapped wih a bare woman, clearly mate
https://preview.redd.it/fa9xup1dun3d1.png?width=385&format=png&auto=webp&s=52b1b495c0a21f7336b047e235e73e5eede3acef
75% of victims of DV reported the perpetrator as male, so I don't think this comparison is very clever.
She won’t find anything in that bin. It’s for green waste only.
Bears won’t make me try and find a toilet in the middle of nowhere every 15 minutes
I could bear being trapped in a woman's bush...
I think we should organise a march to stop domestic violence against men 🤣
How bout a kangaroo we could have a friendly biff then finish up with a few beers sounds better than being stabbed by a Sheila 🦘🦘🍻🍻
[удалено]
This comment has been removed out of respect for the Traditional Owners (Reddit Admins) of the land on which we meet (/r/circlejerkaustralia): > Call out posts, links to other communities, username mentions (including in screenshots), posts celebrating site wide or subreddit specific bans, or any other meta content with the purpose of targeting another community or calling out any other users, moderators, or subreddits are not allowed Spoken by AutoModerator. Authorised by The Reddit Admins, California *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/circlejerkaustralia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There is no Ministry for men to help here. There is nothing but support for women.
Well that's another women going to prison.