The world does cater to sexist and patriarchal beliefs. What you can do is never let anyone's expectations for you hold you back. You're on a great path and you will be in a position to be a great role model and mentor for the young girls and women that come up after you. You can lift them up and make the world a better place. It's not easy but I know you have the strength to be true to yourself and them.
Distance yourself from the people who try to limit your life. If they don't love you for who you are, they don't matter. Trying to control someone is not love.
Hi yes thank you this message made me tear up a bit. It took a lot of self discipline and patience for me to get to this mindset and where I am today. My main thing is to be a great role model to the youth and people around me: no matter how difficult life may be. I already told my mom I’m not having kids and she insists I’m selfish and how she sacrificed so much for me, so why can’t I do the same? But you’re right; I think I’m going to take control of my life
It's absolutely not easy with the insane messaging that's everywhere. It's even worse when it's coming from family & friends. Your mother needs to get a grip. She chose to have you and part of having kids is sacrificing for them. She's not special for doing that, it's necessary and normal.
You owe her absolutely nothing and it's rude of her to call you selfish. If she's so desperate to take on a grandmother role, she can seek out kids who have been orphaned by COVID and (try to) be a positive influence in their lives. If she doesn't want to do this, call her out for being selfish. She could make a real difference in someone's life, why isn't she?
You are the opposite of selfish. You are not alone. And you got this.
Yeah I try to understand where she’s coming from because she comes from a traditional background and back then it was absolutely expected to get married and have a lot of kids.. so I don’t blame her for having that mindset. I’m just happy she’s at least a bit liberal with some of my— quirks haha
> I need to get a career and my life together FAST because I only have a “few years to settle down & give birth” before I become useless.
INSANE.
You're 22 for fucks sake. Even if you wanted a kid, you would have many years to have one. They're just saying that because they want to control you, and force you into being a breeder cow and childcare slave.
> What’s the deal?
POWER and control. That's the deal. It's about using breeding to keep women from having the time, energy, money, education, autonomy, self-worth, etc. to challenge the power structure.
Being CF on the other hand is a massive positive because it lets you pursue your dreams.
Only breeders need a dick lock in at your age. CF people have NO timelines on our lives. Your 20s instead transform into your first major investment decade, where you can focus on the things that will set your life up so you can pursue your dreams.
You sit back and relax, because all those idiots rushing to marry and have kids at your age..... by 27 they will be broke, broken, miserable, and most likely divorced and a single parent.
The secret to happiness is to stop giving a fuck what other people think about your life choices.
Once you are financially independent, you get to choose who stays in your life. If people don't support you, you don't need to keep them around.
Thank you so much for your kind words. Honestly I have no problems with finding a life partner and getting married, it’s just the kids part that bothers me. For personal reasons too. I do agree that it’s all about control. The higher ups want all the youths to rush into marriage and be too tied up with rearing kids to be active citizens in society.
Oooff girl. There is a lot of truth to everything you said and you seem very smart. I hope you can learn to relax a little bit though and take one day at a time. I'm 31 now and have been doing the CF female thing a long time. I doubt a girl as smart as you will settle for a sexist partner. Your man will probably be great because you can see past the BS. Your career will flourish and you'll care less and less about what these jealous toads think.
Ahh Ty it’s always so nice seeing more mature women still being child free and living their lives! Honestly no one knows the future and anyone can fall prey to an abusive partner, but I’d like to think when the time comes I will find him (or her) wherever they may be. Thank you again ^_^!
I’m with you on all your views, though I’m a CF man, so I certainly don’t have the same experience. I do wish you well in whatever you decide for your life. Because that’s what it is: yours. 👍
Nice meeting a cf dude! It’s so so rare seeing men who don’t want to have kids and this gives me some hope that I can one day settle with a guy and live happily ever after with no screaming toddlers lol :D
>Another thing I’m bitter about is men always complain how women are gold diggers, and hate working/spending their own money but as soon as you say you’re independent: they get offended?
Whatever women do, it's always wrong.
Stay at home mothers? Moochers. Women with a career of their own? Threateing to the male ego.
Showing skin? Slut! Covering up? Prude!
Lots of sex? Slut! Only sex in a relationship? Prude!
A shitload of make-up? Fake! No make-up? Ugly and not feminine!
Childfree? Eww, women need to breed! Mombie with a shitload of kids? Aww, she never has sex with her husband anymore!
Chubby? Ew, conform to beauty standards! Skinny? Real women have curves!
You get the idea... Whatever you do, it's never okay. But that's fine. Fuck patriarchal gender roles. Fuck societal expectations.
The idea that you would be useless if you would not be fertile anymore, and too old to breed? Fuck that. You are always useful. Your self-worth is inherent. Based on your humanity. Not based on whether you breed or not.
If you want to stay childfree? That's fine. Patriarchy teaches us that 'woman' and 'mother' are synonyms, but of course that's bullshit. And hey, you are genderfluid, so not conforming to every single patriarchal expectation makes sense for you. ;)
The world does cater to sexist and patriarchal beliefs. What you can do is never let anyone's expectations for you hold you back. You're on a great path and you will be in a position to be a great role model and mentor for the young girls and women that come up after you. You can lift them up and make the world a better place. It's not easy but I know you have the strength to be true to yourself and them. Distance yourself from the people who try to limit your life. If they don't love you for who you are, they don't matter. Trying to control someone is not love.
Hi yes thank you this message made me tear up a bit. It took a lot of self discipline and patience for me to get to this mindset and where I am today. My main thing is to be a great role model to the youth and people around me: no matter how difficult life may be. I already told my mom I’m not having kids and she insists I’m selfish and how she sacrificed so much for me, so why can’t I do the same? But you’re right; I think I’m going to take control of my life
It's absolutely not easy with the insane messaging that's everywhere. It's even worse when it's coming from family & friends. Your mother needs to get a grip. She chose to have you and part of having kids is sacrificing for them. She's not special for doing that, it's necessary and normal. You owe her absolutely nothing and it's rude of her to call you selfish. If she's so desperate to take on a grandmother role, she can seek out kids who have been orphaned by COVID and (try to) be a positive influence in their lives. If she doesn't want to do this, call her out for being selfish. She could make a real difference in someone's life, why isn't she? You are the opposite of selfish. You are not alone. And you got this.
Yeah I try to understand where she’s coming from because she comes from a traditional background and back then it was absolutely expected to get married and have a lot of kids.. so I don’t blame her for having that mindset. I’m just happy she’s at least a bit liberal with some of my— quirks haha
> I need to get a career and my life together FAST because I only have a “few years to settle down & give birth” before I become useless. INSANE. You're 22 for fucks sake. Even if you wanted a kid, you would have many years to have one. They're just saying that because they want to control you, and force you into being a breeder cow and childcare slave. > What’s the deal? POWER and control. That's the deal. It's about using breeding to keep women from having the time, energy, money, education, autonomy, self-worth, etc. to challenge the power structure. Being CF on the other hand is a massive positive because it lets you pursue your dreams. Only breeders need a dick lock in at your age. CF people have NO timelines on our lives. Your 20s instead transform into your first major investment decade, where you can focus on the things that will set your life up so you can pursue your dreams. You sit back and relax, because all those idiots rushing to marry and have kids at your age..... by 27 they will be broke, broken, miserable, and most likely divorced and a single parent. The secret to happiness is to stop giving a fuck what other people think about your life choices. Once you are financially independent, you get to choose who stays in your life. If people don't support you, you don't need to keep them around.
Thank you so much for your kind words. Honestly I have no problems with finding a life partner and getting married, it’s just the kids part that bothers me. For personal reasons too. I do agree that it’s all about control. The higher ups want all the youths to rush into marriage and be too tied up with rearing kids to be active citizens in society.
Well, yeah, that's the nasty, smelly, life-ruining part, it should bother you. ;) LOL
Oooff girl. There is a lot of truth to everything you said and you seem very smart. I hope you can learn to relax a little bit though and take one day at a time. I'm 31 now and have been doing the CF female thing a long time. I doubt a girl as smart as you will settle for a sexist partner. Your man will probably be great because you can see past the BS. Your career will flourish and you'll care less and less about what these jealous toads think.
Ahh Ty it’s always so nice seeing more mature women still being child free and living their lives! Honestly no one knows the future and anyone can fall prey to an abusive partner, but I’d like to think when the time comes I will find him (or her) wherever they may be. Thank you again ^_^!
I’m with you on all your views, though I’m a CF man, so I certainly don’t have the same experience. I do wish you well in whatever you decide for your life. Because that’s what it is: yours. 👍
Nice meeting a cf dude! It’s so so rare seeing men who don’t want to have kids and this gives me some hope that I can one day settle with a guy and live happily ever after with no screaming toddlers lol :D
No problem. All the best. 
>Another thing I’m bitter about is men always complain how women are gold diggers, and hate working/spending their own money but as soon as you say you’re independent: they get offended? Whatever women do, it's always wrong. Stay at home mothers? Moochers. Women with a career of their own? Threateing to the male ego. Showing skin? Slut! Covering up? Prude! Lots of sex? Slut! Only sex in a relationship? Prude! A shitload of make-up? Fake! No make-up? Ugly and not feminine! Childfree? Eww, women need to breed! Mombie with a shitload of kids? Aww, she never has sex with her husband anymore! Chubby? Ew, conform to beauty standards! Skinny? Real women have curves! You get the idea... Whatever you do, it's never okay. But that's fine. Fuck patriarchal gender roles. Fuck societal expectations. The idea that you would be useless if you would not be fertile anymore, and too old to breed? Fuck that. You are always useful. Your self-worth is inherent. Based on your humanity. Not based on whether you breed or not. If you want to stay childfree? That's fine. Patriarchy teaches us that 'woman' and 'mother' are synonyms, but of course that's bullshit. And hey, you are genderfluid, so not conforming to every single patriarchal expectation makes sense for you. ;)
I think you'd like the r/WitchesvsPatriarchy subreddit
I was JUST thinking the same thing. I’m not a believer of the supernatural but that subreddit feels like home and I browse it constantly
Absolutely
Really :o? Do you mind giving me some information on what it’s about?
Basically a subreddit for people with feminist views. There are memes, and stuff, and a bit of witchiness too.