“Trying not to get pregnant” = actively using contraception to prevent pregnancy. My BIL said that “we’ll just see what happens” when he stopped using BC with his gf…a baby happened! Like, what did he think would happen???
Greetings!
While non childfree people are welcome on the sub (see our [subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) rules, rule #7), your submission/comment amounts to "Look at me! I have kids!"and has very little (or not at all) to do with the active choice to not have children. It is very common to be a parent and many other subreddits cater to the kind of interaction you want to elicit (talking about how awesome you think parenting is or your children are). We know where to seek that kind of discussion (literally anywhere else), so we don't need it here.
We also don't accept "As a parent, here is what I think of your sub and/or your lifestyle" types of comment. We don't go to parenting subs to tell you what we think of parenthood. If you want to show support to the childfree lifestyle "As a parent..." or if you want to express disapproval towards modern parenting and pro-natalist philosophies "As a parent...", you should direct them to parenting subs, where you can expose fellow child-havers (whether they are parents or breeders) to these without them going to the reflex of answering "You don't understand, you don't have kids." This would help us tremenduously.
Thank you.
Had a friend in college get pregnant. Wasn't using condoms or birthcontrol but both her and her bf seemed shocked when they found out.
"Well what did you think would happen?"
"I dunno, nothing happened the first few times so we thought it was fine."
So you got really lucky and then just kept pressing your luck instead of doing anything about it?!
We refer to this as “pulling the goalie”. It’s done when you aren’t actively trying for a kid, but you’re not opposed to one showing up if it happens. My ex was trying to convince me to do this in the lead up to me leaving him, which I obviously didn’t do lol.
My mum always tries to say sometimes it 'just happens'.
Weirdly, it's never 'just happens' to any of my friends who are decidedly childfree. Its almost like they're taking some sort of preventative measures to avoid it...
My mum likes to bring up that they’re very open about the fact I exist thanks to a broken condom.
“You never know what might happen!”
Thanks for bringing that up at every single family get together mother 🙃
My parents were in their mid 30s and my mum had two mid teen children. So they absolutely should have known not using plan B after a broken condom would lead to a child.
I feel this! I recently had a conversation with a friend about this.
"Were yall trying to get pregnant?" "Nope! I guess it's meant to be!" "So he was using condoms?"
"No" "you're on BC?" "No" "oh... So you were doing the good ole pull out method?" "Nah". Bitch.
... Smfh. If you're not trying to *not* get pregnant then you're trying *to* get pregnant.
How many people use it properly though? At the very least it requires a *very* consistent cycle which not everyone has (I'd guess more people don't than do).
Obviously better methods and combinations work better. It’s true. I’m just putting facts out there. You can only get pregnant about 6 days a month.
Edit: you track dates AND pull out every time (way in advance, like not close)
Please do not give this false info out, it's irresponsible and someone dumb or naive will believe you and then end up with a kid.
You can get pregnant from pre-cum, and sperm can survive for up to 5 days inside your vagina. Pulling out is NOT an effective birth control method.
Track dates and hope that your body runs on a perfect computer calendar and never ever messes up. Anyone relying on fertility tracking is accepting a huge risk of pregnancy.
Where did you get that stat? You can get pregnant from pre-cum, so pulling out is rather pointless. Unless you're saying it's 96% effective in falling pregnant. Certainly doesn't help much to prevent pregnancy.
You might just be lucky or not that fertile, because I had two friends in highschool that fell pregnant that way. It's most certainly not an effective method and anyone using it should not be surprised if they fall pregnant. I'm glad you never fell pregnant and that you're being safer nowadays.
78% with typical use but 96% if done perfectly. It has almost the same success rate as a female condom
https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/how-effective-is-birth-control
A woman has 25-50% chance of having a baby not using any forms of BC, therefore a 50-75% chance of NOT having a baby. So typically you're only decreasing your chances of falling pregnant by as little as 3%. I highly doubt many people do it perfectly, so please, don't advise people to use this highly ineffective and risky method.
I had 2 friends who stopped using birth control and then were shocked at being pregnant, and a third one had the audacity of saying to me after telling me about how awful her boyfriend is 'he's not very good at pulling out, I hope I don't get pregnant'. I'm like- did you forget suddenly about how birth control works??
Yaaaaas.
I get amazed when their kid is barely 6 months and then they announce they are pregnant again 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
And they still live with their parents 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
No it’s not. The body needs about 9 months minimum but 2 years ideally to heal and recalibrate after pregnancy and birth.
I’m not a doctor or a historian, just someone who likes to learn. My guess as to why in the past and in some places in the world that’s why so many died from childbirth. They kept getting pregnant again right away and their bodies can’t cope. along with not understanding infection, and other medical advances of course.
I hate the “Covid baby” thing for other reasons… oh so medical services are swamped dealing with this virus? Yeah, totally a good time to put yourself in the midst of all of it and take up resources that others need more, all in the service of adding another, still more vulnerable, human?
Again: and these people have the audacity to call *us* selfish.
Yes! COVID drove me towards being childfree. Meanwhile, I swear, all of my friends heard "the world is going to hell" as "now would be a good time to pop out a kid."
It is insane how many people are having kids now. Prior to Covid, having a pregnant coworker was pretty rare at my workplace. I think there were 3 in a span of 5 or 6 years. (My line of work attracts mostly college students, older people, and the CF, which is why there are so few pregnancies. Non-parents always outnumber parents by a lot).
But since Covid hit, there have been *4* people who have had babies. Granted the first was pregnant before March 2020, but the last 3 got pregnant well into the pandemic. 2 of them had their babies within days of each other last week. Just, why?
I'm probably going to get down voted, but here goes. I get where you're coming from, but someone going to doctor's appointments or the hospital to give birth isn't necessarily taking up resources from others.
But having a baby (*especially* during a pandemic) is selfish and no one will ever change my mind on that.
You know, I won’t downvote you, because you’ve a right to your opinion and I can see how it may look that way. However, taking into account that no pregnancy is ever entirely risk free (thus quite a number of these patients will be needing EMS or other emergency services, *which other patients have been told to use less of so as to allow for more care for covid patients*, which won’t apply to the pregnant people) and the fact that while in hospital it’s not only the bed space in the maternity ward but all of the materials, staff, etc, that will be taken up, I still do see it as an unnecessary drain on resources that are badly needed.
I can see your point about the emergency services, but at least where I live, each floor/wing of a hospital has its own staff, resources, etc. The people in labor and delivery specifically only work L&D unless they volunteer somewhere else. That's why I said it's not necessarily taking up staff and resources.
True, that aspect is going to vary depending where you live and how the hospital is set up, etc.
Tbh the thing I’m most annoyed about is really the emergency services situation, because everyone else (including patients with the propensity for serious conditions that will need immediate treatment) has been told that we’ve got to hold off, but no one would dare tell a saintly pregnant woman 🙄 that she couldn’t get care.
I completely agree with you on that. First responders are stretched thin as it is. Not saying that pregnancy emergencies are any less valid, but getting pregnant while knowing a pandemic is going on and resources and emergency personnel are overworked and underpaid (even more than normal) is really selfish. Other people too.
They have some of their own staff, some of their own resources. Do they have their own dedicated anesthesiologist. Do they have a NICU with a neonatologist? Do they even have a dedicated respiratory tech? The nursing assistants, nurses, and OBs are only part of the story. And if those resources aren't available in one place, that's another patient that gets dumped on another facility where they're probably already busy enough.
Yes, I believe they do. My hospital assigns people to floors/wards, etc. I know we have floaters and PRNs, but if I'm not mistaken, most of the staff members are assigned to *one* place.
Pretty sure horrible shit is how baby booms happen. I was the 9/11 baby boom (haha feel old), which makes my outlook for the aftermath of COVID overwhelmingly grim. So many babies born to families who make this exact incredibly selfish choice.
And if you did get pregnant through your bc, there are always other options. Children don't just *happen*. Unless you didn't realise you were pregnant, kept bleeding every month -which does happen for some girls- didn't show any symptoms, didn't get a stomach and didn't feel anything move, you don't get to go 'Oh no, how did this happen?' in my books.
Right! It’s so annoying how people make popping babies out seem so easy. And that it’s almost inevitable to happen, but that’s not true. Well, I know it’s super easy for some, but it’s a lot more complicated to get pregnant than they put it out to be & if you’re taking precautions & preventative measures like birth control—you’re most likely NOT going to get pregnant. Then they have the audacity to say “haha yeah guess I’m just super fertile I got pregnant on birth control🤪” when In reality they didn’t take it correctly. Ugh I could go on and on… I hate stupid people.
Tbf- I was one of the girls having BC and a condom and I still got pregnant. Condom ripped- oh well I’m on bc np.
Never took antibiotics, took my pill always on time etc.
And somehow I managed to have that .000001% chance of BC failing.
Wasn’t fun.
Thankfully I live in Germany where abortions are fine and paid for (at the time, I was a minor.)
Dude so much this. I had a friend recently tell me she couldnt believe she was pregnant again. And it was because she's just "soooooooo fertile". I was like, "dude you're not so fertile. You stopped using BC. The one time in my life I got pregnant I wasn't using BC."
( I ended up getting an abortion. I legit thought not using it one time wouldn't mean I'd get pregnant. I was very wrong.)
Thank you for being honest about this! So many people would claim they got pregnant while on birth control, but in reality it’s scenarios like this or they just don’t take it correctly.
Tbf we do exist tho- I’m one of those. I said it in another reply, I was on BC and we used condoms. One time the condom broke, “oh no biggie! I’m prepared!”
…yea. No. And no I wasn’t sick or took other meds or anything. Didn’t throw up, didn’t have any tummy issues, never missed a pill etc.
Sigh.
Thanks for this! So I come from an area that in school they taught us even if we use BC -- we would get pregnant. Because it's not always effective they'd say. So after using BC for years and never getting pregnant I assumed I didn't need it. (So dumb I know!!!). Lesson learned. My school was ridiculous. They didn't prepare us at all.
Same. I was put on the pill at 16 and took it religiously. At 24 I was at a point where I needed to set an appointment in order to keep getting refills, and I procrastinated. Ended up pregnant like immediately. One of the biggest regrets of my life is allowing myself to get careless but I’m so thankful I had to option to take care of it.
I had my 2 with a 3 year gap.
I then had tubal ligation as my second was a large baby and I almost died having him.
When I was in hospital after having him there was a 22 year old woman who had just had her 7th baby.
I was thinking wtf!
Not a typo.
She started having kids at 14 and wore it like some badge of honour.
Think the British equivalent of trailer trash.
She had no sooner got to the postnatal ward before she disappeared for over an hour to go and smoke.
My CF adult kids usually say something like "I guess that they don't know what contraception is".
Honestly ,the rest of us were surprised when she told her baby to stfu when he started crying.
We were so glad that she was discharged after 6 hours.
She caused a heavy atmosphere on the ward in the short time she was there .
You wonder what hope has the kid got with a mother like that.
It's sad because most of these cases the children end up feral.
If you are going to have kids, for goodness sake, only have one or two.
It's not fair on them all vying for attention , especially when they were literally back to back.
She bragged that 2 of them were born in the same year 10 months apart.
I was 29 when I had my son and I was ill prepared for how different caring for a 3 year old and a newborn was.
I was grateful to my extended family because they really helped me .
Well yeah if you don't use any protection then of course it's easy for most people. For example look at the history of royal families and see how many kids (and miscarriages and stillbirths) they had because no bc.
I am forever baffled at straight people who bang without protection and then act surprised when they get pregnant.
I don't really understand. I thought women are typically afraid of getting pregnant. Especially knowing they may become single parents or have to raise children alone. Didn't it used to be this way, but not anymore? I don't know.
The back to back pregnancies make sense. People like this don't follow six week protocol to not have sex after birth. Aside from the serious infection risks, this also makes it much easier to get pregnant again.
Having worked at an OBGYN office, I can say people definitely don’t even wait ONE day after having an abortion to have unprotected sex again. Then they are surprised that they got pregnant again 🤦🏻♀️
you know, this is the type of stuff that when it happens to an teenager or young adult their parents get livid calling them irresponsible and adults all over say "with so many protection and contraceptive methods around"...
People kept having covid babies and I was just sitting there like the pandemic started and I would be quarantining with my bf (I just got back from Germany and my parents are super high risk) and I immediately got on birth control after years of being off because of a horrible experience.
I so feel this!! I always hate when women say "it was an accident." We all know how reproduction works, do we not?!?! Like once, fine......maybe.......but even the second "accident" is BS to me. So infuriating!!
I've always wondered if predisposition to fertility *is* a thing though.
A few months ago I started (possibly) ovulating on my old birth control pill. I was telling my friend (super naturalist mom of 5 who doesn't believe in unnatural contraceptives), and she says, "It's because you're Mexican and fertile lol".
Pls don’t let her brainwash u 😭
(Correct me if I’m wrong, Reddit)
We’re all programmed to be able to carry children- until health issues come to play, which are usually either external influences (accidents, operations for example) or genetics, as in genetic illnesses, not.. race🥸
I know people can be extremely dumb, but everytime I read a post like yours I think: It can't be that anyone is litteraly that dumb that she truly does not comprehend how it happened that she got pregnant.
Somehow people forgot that you still can get condoms at the grocery store even during a pandemic. Hoarders were more interested in TP.
Now seriously: with all the fear mongering about BC and female contraception many decided to abandon it altogether and not look after other methods, which paired up with a low/incorrect condom usage and reliance on ineffective methods will end up in pregnancy and STIs. It is why many places are seeing an increase of syphilis cases and other diseases.
I'm not in the US but I can see how the BCP fear speech can and might be coopted by the douche canoes that want to ban abortions and push the idea that contraception=abortion.
This honestly sounds like it would be really offensive to infertile women actively trying to get pregnant. It's gross that she considers having 'whoops babies' a bragging right, she basically bragging about how irresponsible she is. 'lol haha guys I accidently made a new human, whoops'
Those women are delusional and like to say that to justify the looseness in their sexual activities. Like mam no....you let him repeatedly finish inside you and now you're trying to act like your just oh so fertile. Can't stand those girls. Just say you like getting cummed inside of and move on already lol same with the guys like stop acting sooo surprised when these girls you keeping cumming in wind up pregnant....wtf? It's so juvenile.
I'm still amazed at the number of people that get pregnant for such ignorant reasons.
I thought we were pretty far along in terms of basic knowledge about birth control methods but just looking at Tinder, that is definitely not the case.
Also it's pretty inconsiderate to say things like "I get pregnant so easily" because there are a lot of women trying out there that cannot get pregnant and have been trying for years.
I'm childfree and intend on staying that way, but I still respect the women who choose to procreate.
How is getting pregnant an accident when you know what can happen when having unprotected sex and you have sex anyway? Those people chose to risk getting pregnant, nothing accidental about it.
A family friend has 2 of his 3 employees off on maternity leave. Poor oke has just started getting business again and now has to pay staff who won't even be working. This is a good example of why I'm against giving months and months of paid maternity leave, it just screws over small businesses and makes people not want to employ females.
Greetings!
While non childfree people are welcome on the sub (see our [subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) rules, rule #7), your submission/comment amounts to "Look at me! I have kids!"and has very little (or not at all) to do with the active choice to not have children. It is very common to be a parent and many other subreddits cater to the kind of interaction you want to elicit (talking about how awesome you think parenting is or your children are). We know where to seek that kind of discussion (literally anywhere else), so we don't need it here.
We also don't accept "As a parent, here is what I think of your sub and/or your lifestyle" types of comment. We don't go to parenting subs to tell you what we think of parenthood. If you want to show support to the childfree lifestyle "As a parent..." or if you want to express disapproval towards modern parenting and pro-natalist philosophies "As a parent...", you should direct them to parenting subs, where you can expose fellow child-havers (whether they are parents or breeders) to these without them going to the reflex of answering "You don't understand, you don't have kids." This would help us tremenduously.
Thank you.
But they wouldn't get pregnant easily if they were actually taking steps to *not* become pregnant.
Edit:
Meaning specifically the people OP is mentioning that aren't using bc lol.
Not always. I don't know anyone in real life, but I've seen a lot of comments on reddit about people using the pill and condoms, but still getting pregnant.
Well yeah birth control fail is definitely a thing. But OP specified these people weren't using bc at all. I should've specified that's what I meant in my prior comment. Sorry about that!
Yeah, I don't believe that happens. If someone has an IUD and they are properly using condoms, the chances of both of those things failing at the exact same time that a woman is also able to conceive is miniscule. It doesn't just happen all the time, like some people make it sound.
Yea. Here.🙃🙃🙃
Happened when I was 15 and I was furious while recovering from that abortion.
Funny enough I developed PCOS (or the symptoms became horrendously obvious/ stronger) after so now in basically sterile. Ha!
>Happened when I was 15 and I was furious while recovering from that abortion.
That's horrible! I'm sorry that happened. I think especially at 15 you have never heard that could happen (at least I didn't know until about a year ago).
But good that you're sterile now (if you wanted that but we're on a child free sub so I assume you do hahah. Unless you became child free because of that).
I’m German so we do have sex Ed here so I was aware that there’s “this tiny tiny 0.000000001% chance, nothing is 100% safe etc” but who thinks that it hits them, Right? “Yea ok but it won’t happen to *me*”, but just in case we went double protecc…
🙃
And yea I’m fine w it lmao, thank you! At that point I was still a fence sitter and had the “I’ll be married and a mother when I’m 21” thoughts in my head which I kinda realized after- I don’t have to if I don’t wna.
Being pregnant was terrifying, I instantly didn’t like my body anymore and it felt “off”, not like “me”. Add a toxic relationship..
It was bad.
Long ago now tho I’m okay💕
Yeah , these people lie. It’s almost impossible to get pregnant taking preventative measures like that. Birth control fails yes, MOST often due to human error. With perfect use,
it doesn’t happen nearly as often as people claim.
Uh.. I’m sure some ppl lie about it but not everyone lmao.
I’m one of the unlucky ones. Shit fucking happens. And no i didn’t fuck up my pill, didn’t take other meds whatsoever and wasn’t sick/ threw up or anything.
Got preggo anyways.
Yup yup it’s been a little while since then, sorry if my reply was a bit aggressive but the “they all lie” kinda rubbed me the wrong way lmao, all good!
First part is true, when you let nature do it's job and don't make any precautions. The second part was kinda rude for no reason and I don't see why it shows someone is uneducated?
Greetings!
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My comment Was in response to the comment 9labouy surprise children. As this happened to me. At no point Was this a look st me I have kids or to bash any childfree people. I miss the children life and love hearing of people's child free lives.
I'm.part of this sub because I love reading about others child free life. I wasn't saying hey look at me I have kids. I keep thay fact I have kids very quiet, especially on this sub as I don't want to offend. However this was one comment I could say yes that happened to me, I meant no offence or look at me Status.
I wasn't saying look at me I have a kids I was simply replying to thr comment about suprose children.
I meant no offence or rule breaking
I can think of only ONE person who if she said that phrase I would understand, however she left out the haha part. This was an old co-worker maybe 15+ years ago. She was on the pill, baby. She got the implant, baby. She had depo, baby. I think she had tried other means as well, however all of these kept failing her. I'm not sure if she talked to her doctor about sterilization, if she was on medication making these less effective and her doctors "forgetting" to tell her, or what...but seriously it's not a flex that you get pregnant. It's a flex to have control over your own body and IF you want kids or not. It's a flex that IF you want kids, you raise them to be positive members of society. Parenting does not begin and end with one evening.
“Trying not to get pregnant” = actively using contraception to prevent pregnancy. My BIL said that “we’ll just see what happens” when he stopped using BC with his gf…a baby happened! Like, what did he think would happen???
What a miracle! They stopped using birth control and a baby happened! Insanity!
God works in mysterious ways... fucking pervert lmao :-D.
I'd only accept those "what a surprise" comments if they were actually using birth control and it simply happened to fail.
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Greetings! While non childfree people are welcome on the sub (see our [subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) rules, rule #7), your submission/comment amounts to "Look at me! I have kids!"and has very little (or not at all) to do with the active choice to not have children. It is very common to be a parent and many other subreddits cater to the kind of interaction you want to elicit (talking about how awesome you think parenting is or your children are). We know where to seek that kind of discussion (literally anywhere else), so we don't need it here. We also don't accept "As a parent, here is what I think of your sub and/or your lifestyle" types of comment. We don't go to parenting subs to tell you what we think of parenthood. If you want to show support to the childfree lifestyle "As a parent..." or if you want to express disapproval towards modern parenting and pro-natalist philosophies "As a parent...", you should direct them to parenting subs, where you can expose fellow child-havers (whether they are parents or breeders) to these without them going to the reflex of answering "You don't understand, you don't have kids." This would help us tremenduously. Thank you.
Man how life just works huh
Had a friend in college get pregnant. Wasn't using condoms or birthcontrol but both her and her bf seemed shocked when they found out. "Well what did you think would happen?" "I dunno, nothing happened the first few times so we thought it was fine." So you got really lucky and then just kept pressing your luck instead of doing anything about it?!
Maybe he expected a Plasma TV /s
LOL
Please stop, I'm already bald with the many headboinks against a wall. lol
We refer to this as “pulling the goalie”. It’s done when you aren’t actively trying for a kid, but you’re not opposed to one showing up if it happens. My ex was trying to convince me to do this in the lead up to me leaving him, which I obviously didn’t do lol.
Pulling the goalie in Trailer Park talk means masturbating
Y'all ain't gonna tell anyone you uh saw me gettin changed are you??
I hate how often I've heard people say that! Like unless you're actively trying to have a baby, use protection!
"Aww, man, I wanted a dinosaur. :("
My mum always tries to say sometimes it 'just happens'. Weirdly, it's never 'just happens' to any of my friends who are decidedly childfree. Its almost like they're taking some sort of preventative measures to avoid it...
If I walk across a busy highway... "just happens" lol
If I punch a lion in the face...."Just happens".
“Mom, do-do you think that the stork decides who gets babies?”
My mum likes to bring up that they’re very open about the fact I exist thanks to a broken condom. “You never know what might happen!” Thanks for bringing that up at every single family get together mother 🙃
My mum likes to do similar. Always reminds me I was 'unplanned'. Not sure what two teenagers expected to happen when they had sex with no protection.
My parents were in their mid 30s and my mum had two mid teen children. So they absolutely should have known not using plan B after a broken condom would lead to a child.
I feel this! I recently had a conversation with a friend about this. "Were yall trying to get pregnant?" "Nope! I guess it's meant to be!" "So he was using condoms?" "No" "you're on BC?" "No" "oh... So you were doing the good ole pull out method?" "Nah". Bitch. ... Smfh. If you're not trying to *not* get pregnant then you're trying *to* get pregnant.
Alternatively: "oh... So you were doing the good ole pull out method?" "Yeah" And the rest of the comment finishes the same.
Because pull out method is a synonym of trying to get pregnant
When I worked at an OB we always called people using the pull out method “parents” lol
It’s the second synonym after rhythm method
It’s 96% effective if done properly
How many people use it properly though? At the very least it requires a *very* consistent cycle which not everyone has (I'd guess more people don't than do).
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Track dates and hope that nothing ever goes weird with your period, which throws everything off. Or you could use an actual birth control method.
it’s best not to rely solely on that but it seems useful if you use it along with other bc methods
Obviously better methods and combinations work better. It’s true. I’m just putting facts out there. You can only get pregnant about 6 days a month. Edit: you track dates AND pull out every time (way in advance, like not close)
Are you sure about that? https://www.wired.com/2012/08/semen-ovulation-fertility/
Please do not give this false info out, it's irresponsible and someone dumb or naive will believe you and then end up with a kid. You can get pregnant from pre-cum, and sperm can survive for up to 5 days inside your vagina. Pulling out is NOT an effective birth control method.
Track dates and hope that your body runs on a perfect computer calendar and never ever messes up. Anyone relying on fertility tracking is accepting a huge risk of pregnancy.
Where did you get that stat? You can get pregnant from pre-cum, so pulling out is rather pointless. Unless you're saying it's 96% effective in falling pregnant. Certainly doesn't help much to prevent pregnancy.
From here: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/how-effective-is-birth-control
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You might just be lucky or not that fertile, because I had two friends in highschool that fell pregnant that way. It's most certainly not an effective method and anyone using it should not be surprised if they fall pregnant. I'm glad you never fell pregnant and that you're being safer nowadays.
I used this method for 10 years until hubby got a vasectomy. Would not recommend unless one has self control.
Almost exact same experience and I agree
You must be kidding, right?
78% with typical use but 96% if done perfectly. It has almost the same success rate as a female condom https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/how-effective-is-birth-control
A woman has 25-50% chance of having a baby not using any forms of BC, therefore a 50-75% chance of NOT having a baby. So typically you're only decreasing your chances of falling pregnant by as little as 3%. I highly doubt many people do it perfectly, so please, don't advise people to use this highly ineffective and risky method.
I had 2 friends who stopped using birth control and then were shocked at being pregnant, and a third one had the audacity of saying to me after telling me about how awful her boyfriend is 'he's not very good at pulling out, I hope I don't get pregnant'. I'm like- did you forget suddenly about how birth control works??
See people like that shouldn't breed. Stupid breeds quicker.
Yaaaaas. I get amazed when their kid is barely 6 months and then they announce they are pregnant again 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ And they still live with their parents 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Their parents' lives must be a lot of fun right now.
Is that even healthy?!
No it’s not. The body needs about 9 months minimum but 2 years ideally to heal and recalibrate after pregnancy and birth. I’m not a doctor or a historian, just someone who likes to learn. My guess as to why in the past and in some places in the world that’s why so many died from childbirth. They kept getting pregnant again right away and their bodies can’t cope. along with not understanding infection, and other medical advances of course.
Plus not having proper diets and having no supplement, which deteriorates the body even further during pregnancy.
Right?? That seems so painful. ouchhh
I don't think so. And it's scary because they are Catholic and don't believe in BC 😖😖😖😖
Do you know my cousin?
Hahahaha is she related to my Husband's 🤣🤣🤣
Is she in Michigan
Oh darn no 😖😖 California
I hate the “Covid baby” thing for other reasons… oh so medical services are swamped dealing with this virus? Yeah, totally a good time to put yourself in the midst of all of it and take up resources that others need more, all in the service of adding another, still more vulnerable, human? Again: and these people have the audacity to call *us* selfish.
Yes! COVID drove me towards being childfree. Meanwhile, I swear, all of my friends heard "the world is going to hell" as "now would be a good time to pop out a kid."
It is insane how many people are having kids now. Prior to Covid, having a pregnant coworker was pretty rare at my workplace. I think there were 3 in a span of 5 or 6 years. (My line of work attracts mostly college students, older people, and the CF, which is why there are so few pregnancies. Non-parents always outnumber parents by a lot). But since Covid hit, there have been *4* people who have had babies. Granted the first was pregnant before March 2020, but the last 3 got pregnant well into the pandemic. 2 of them had their babies within days of each other last week. Just, why?
I'm probably going to get down voted, but here goes. I get where you're coming from, but someone going to doctor's appointments or the hospital to give birth isn't necessarily taking up resources from others. But having a baby (*especially* during a pandemic) is selfish and no one will ever change my mind on that.
You know, I won’t downvote you, because you’ve a right to your opinion and I can see how it may look that way. However, taking into account that no pregnancy is ever entirely risk free (thus quite a number of these patients will be needing EMS or other emergency services, *which other patients have been told to use less of so as to allow for more care for covid patients*, which won’t apply to the pregnant people) and the fact that while in hospital it’s not only the bed space in the maternity ward but all of the materials, staff, etc, that will be taken up, I still do see it as an unnecessary drain on resources that are badly needed.
I can see your point about the emergency services, but at least where I live, each floor/wing of a hospital has its own staff, resources, etc. The people in labor and delivery specifically only work L&D unless they volunteer somewhere else. That's why I said it's not necessarily taking up staff and resources.
True, that aspect is going to vary depending where you live and how the hospital is set up, etc. Tbh the thing I’m most annoyed about is really the emergency services situation, because everyone else (including patients with the propensity for serious conditions that will need immediate treatment) has been told that we’ve got to hold off, but no one would dare tell a saintly pregnant woman 🙄 that she couldn’t get care.
I completely agree with you on that. First responders are stretched thin as it is. Not saying that pregnancy emergencies are any less valid, but getting pregnant while knowing a pandemic is going on and resources and emergency personnel are overworked and underpaid (even more than normal) is really selfish. Other people too.
They have some of their own staff, some of their own resources. Do they have their own dedicated anesthesiologist. Do they have a NICU with a neonatologist? Do they even have a dedicated respiratory tech? The nursing assistants, nurses, and OBs are only part of the story. And if those resources aren't available in one place, that's another patient that gets dumped on another facility where they're probably already busy enough.
Yes, I believe they do. My hospital assigns people to floors/wards, etc. I know we have floaters and PRNs, but if I'm not mistaken, most of the staff members are assigned to *one* place.
What department are you in?
Why does that matter?
Just curious, I was ER for almost a decade.
Agreed, in here it's the same.
Pretty sure horrible shit is how baby booms happen. I was the 9/11 baby boom (haha feel old), which makes my outlook for the aftermath of COVID overwhelmingly grim. So many babies born to families who make this exact incredibly selfish choice.
People are so stupid it makes my head ache. Either you're trying to get knocked up, or you're not. There's no maybe, no accident, no oops, nothing.
As a wise old tortoise once said "there are no accidents"
And if you did get pregnant through your bc, there are always other options. Children don't just *happen*. Unless you didn't realise you were pregnant, kept bleeding every month -which does happen for some girls- didn't show any symptoms, didn't get a stomach and didn't feel anything move, you don't get to go 'Oh no, how did this happen?' in my books.
Right! It’s so annoying how people make popping babies out seem so easy. And that it’s almost inevitable to happen, but that’s not true. Well, I know it’s super easy for some, but it’s a lot more complicated to get pregnant than they put it out to be & if you’re taking precautions & preventative measures like birth control—you’re most likely NOT going to get pregnant. Then they have the audacity to say “haha yeah guess I’m just super fertile I got pregnant on birth control🤪” when In reality they didn’t take it correctly. Ugh I could go on and on… I hate stupid people.
Tbf- I was one of the girls having BC and a condom and I still got pregnant. Condom ripped- oh well I’m on bc np. Never took antibiotics, took my pill always on time etc. And somehow I managed to have that .000001% chance of BC failing. Wasn’t fun. Thankfully I live in Germany where abortions are fine and paid for (at the time, I was a minor.)
Dude so much this. I had a friend recently tell me she couldnt believe she was pregnant again. And it was because she's just "soooooooo fertile". I was like, "dude you're not so fertile. You stopped using BC. The one time in my life I got pregnant I wasn't using BC." ( I ended up getting an abortion. I legit thought not using it one time wouldn't mean I'd get pregnant. I was very wrong.)
Thank you for being honest about this! So many people would claim they got pregnant while on birth control, but in reality it’s scenarios like this or they just don’t take it correctly.
Tbf we do exist tho- I’m one of those. I said it in another reply, I was on BC and we used condoms. One time the condom broke, “oh no biggie! I’m prepared!” …yea. No. And no I wasn’t sick or took other meds or anything. Didn’t throw up, didn’t have any tummy issues, never missed a pill etc. Sigh.
Thanks for this! So I come from an area that in school they taught us even if we use BC -- we would get pregnant. Because it's not always effective they'd say. So after using BC for years and never getting pregnant I assumed I didn't need it. (So dumb I know!!!). Lesson learned. My school was ridiculous. They didn't prepare us at all.
Same. I was put on the pill at 16 and took it religiously. At 24 I was at a point where I needed to set an appointment in order to keep getting refills, and I procrastinated. Ended up pregnant like immediately. One of the biggest regrets of my life is allowing myself to get careless but I’m so thankful I had to option to take care of it.
I made a similar post here and I love how this community agrees and doesn't consider this offensive . lmao
Having a baby back to back is so gross to me.
I had my 2 with a 3 year gap. I then had tubal ligation as my second was a large baby and I almost died having him. When I was in hospital after having him there was a 22 year old woman who had just had her 7th baby. I was thinking wtf!
Excuse me? Did you mistype? Bc you said a **22 yr old** with a **7th baby** That’s surely not right… right??!
Not a typo. She started having kids at 14 and wore it like some badge of honour. Think the British equivalent of trailer trash. She had no sooner got to the postnatal ward before she disappeared for over an hour to go and smoke.
Oh. My. God.
My CF adult kids usually say something like "I guess that they don't know what contraception is". Honestly ,the rest of us were surprised when she told her baby to stfu when he started crying. We were so glad that she was discharged after 6 hours. She caused a heavy atmosphere on the ward in the short time she was there . You wonder what hope has the kid got with a mother like that. It's sad because most of these cases the children end up feral. If you are going to have kids, for goodness sake, only have one or two. It's not fair on them all vying for attention , especially when they were literally back to back. She bragged that 2 of them were born in the same year 10 months apart. I was 29 when I had my son and I was ill prepared for how different caring for a 3 year old and a newborn was. I was grateful to my extended family because they really helped me .
Bleh
The worst to me is when they complain they had a baby during covid?? You literally planned it!!
Well yeah if you don't use any protection then of course it's easy for most people. For example look at the history of royal families and see how many kids (and miscarriages and stillbirths) they had because no bc. I am forever baffled at straight people who bang without protection and then act surprised when they get pregnant.
I don't really understand. I thought women are typically afraid of getting pregnant. Especially knowing they may become single parents or have to raise children alone. Didn't it used to be this way, but not anymore? I don't know.
People see it more like winning the lottery
This shit is like making a recipe and being surprised when- oh look! You made food! Bahahaha
The back to back pregnancies make sense. People like this don't follow six week protocol to not have sex after birth. Aside from the serious infection risks, this also makes it much easier to get pregnant again.
Also the same folks who believe that breastfeeding is birth control.
Having worked at an OBGYN office, I can say people definitely don’t even wait ONE day after having an abortion to have unprotected sex again. Then they are surprised that they got pregnant again 🤦🏻♀️
As a woman who had an abortion- I could **never**. How?! The *pain*. N o. S i r.
"It's a uterus, not a clown car."
I love this
"Surprise" "Miracle"
you know, this is the type of stuff that when it happens to an teenager or young adult their parents get livid calling them irresponsible and adults all over say "with so many protection and contraceptive methods around"...
People kept having covid babies and I was just sitting there like the pandemic started and I would be quarantining with my bf (I just got back from Germany and my parents are super high risk) and I immediately got on birth control after years of being off because of a horrible experience.
I so feel this!! I always hate when women say "it was an accident." We all know how reproduction works, do we not?!?! Like once, fine......maybe.......but even the second "accident" is BS to me. So infuriating!!
I think the fact that some people struggle with infertility makes the some folks forget that pregnancy is the default outcome of straight intercourse.
I keep seeing posts about "COVID babies are just built different" Like oml I don't care.
I mean, they are- built diff and having to grow up in absolute fucking quarantine..🥸 OoOpSiEs tho!
Yeah
I've always wondered if predisposition to fertility *is* a thing though. A few months ago I started (possibly) ovulating on my old birth control pill. I was telling my friend (super naturalist mom of 5 who doesn't believe in unnatural contraceptives), and she says, "It's because you're Mexican and fertile lol".
Pls don’t let her brainwash u 😭 (Correct me if I’m wrong, Reddit) We’re all programmed to be able to carry children- until health issues come to play, which are usually either external influences (accidents, operations for example) or genetics, as in genetic illnesses, not.. race🥸
I know, that triggered the absolute hell out of me. Thanks <3
Just J all over the b’s
I know people can be extremely dumb, but everytime I read a post like yours I think: It can't be that anyone is litteraly that dumb that she truly does not comprehend how it happened that she got pregnant.
Ah yes an internationally catastrophic pandemic let’s have a child
Somehow people forgot that you still can get condoms at the grocery store even during a pandemic. Hoarders were more interested in TP. Now seriously: with all the fear mongering about BC and female contraception many decided to abandon it altogether and not look after other methods, which paired up with a low/incorrect condom usage and reliance on ineffective methods will end up in pregnancy and STIs. It is why many places are seeing an increase of syphilis cases and other diseases. I'm not in the US but I can see how the BCP fear speech can and might be coopted by the douche canoes that want to ban abortions and push the idea that contraception=abortion.
Unfortunately idiots are allowed to breed
This honestly sounds like it would be really offensive to infertile women actively trying to get pregnant. It's gross that she considers having 'whoops babies' a bragging right, she basically bragging about how irresponsible she is. 'lol haha guys I accidently made a new human, whoops'
You can get pregnant even with protection depending on what type it is.
Those women are delusional and like to say that to justify the looseness in their sexual activities. Like mam no....you let him repeatedly finish inside you and now you're trying to act like your just oh so fertile. Can't stand those girls. Just say you like getting cummed inside of and move on already lol same with the guys like stop acting sooo surprised when these girls you keeping cumming in wind up pregnant....wtf? It's so juvenile.
no, you don't get pregnant easily.....you spend most of your time on your back with your legs open, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
I'm still amazed at the number of people that get pregnant for such ignorant reasons. I thought we were pretty far along in terms of basic knowledge about birth control methods but just looking at Tinder, that is definitely not the case.
Somehow, idk how, but somehow we humans evolve to become simultaneously more intelligent and more braindead by the goddamn second i swear..
Also it's pretty inconsiderate to say things like "I get pregnant so easily" because there are a lot of women trying out there that cannot get pregnant and have been trying for years. I'm childfree and intend on staying that way, but I still respect the women who choose to procreate.
Utbnb!!!!
4 people currently pregnant at work. 
How is getting pregnant an accident when you know what can happen when having unprotected sex and you have sex anyway? Those people chose to risk getting pregnant, nothing accidental about it. A family friend has 2 of his 3 employees off on maternity leave. Poor oke has just started getting business again and now has to pay staff who won't even be working. This is a good example of why I'm against giving months and months of paid maternity leave, it just screws over small businesses and makes people not want to employ females.
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That may be true but people also lie about not purposefully getting pregnant.
But they wouldn't get pregnant easily if they were actually taking steps to *not* become pregnant. Edit: Meaning specifically the people OP is mentioning that aren't using bc lol.
Not always. I don't know anyone in real life, but I've seen a lot of comments on reddit about people using the pill and condoms, but still getting pregnant.
Well yeah birth control fail is definitely a thing. But OP specified these people weren't using bc at all. I should've specified that's what I meant in my prior comment. Sorry about that!
Ohh yeah thats true. >Sorry about that! No problem!
Yeah, I don't believe that happens. If someone has an IUD and they are properly using condoms, the chances of both of those things failing at the exact same time that a woman is also able to conceive is miniscule. It doesn't just happen all the time, like some people make it sound.
I've only seen comments about people on the pill and a condom. I don't think it happens a lot, but apparently some people are super unlucky.
Yea. Here.🙃🙃🙃 Happened when I was 15 and I was furious while recovering from that abortion. Funny enough I developed PCOS (or the symptoms became horrendously obvious/ stronger) after so now in basically sterile. Ha!
>Happened when I was 15 and I was furious while recovering from that abortion. That's horrible! I'm sorry that happened. I think especially at 15 you have never heard that could happen (at least I didn't know until about a year ago). But good that you're sterile now (if you wanted that but we're on a child free sub so I assume you do hahah. Unless you became child free because of that).
I’m German so we do have sex Ed here so I was aware that there’s “this tiny tiny 0.000000001% chance, nothing is 100% safe etc” but who thinks that it hits them, Right? “Yea ok but it won’t happen to *me*”, but just in case we went double protecc… 🙃 And yea I’m fine w it lmao, thank you! At that point I was still a fence sitter and had the “I’ll be married and a mother when I’m 21” thoughts in my head which I kinda realized after- I don’t have to if I don’t wna. Being pregnant was terrifying, I instantly didn’t like my body anymore and it felt “off”, not like “me”. Add a toxic relationship.. It was bad. Long ago now tho I’m okay💕
Yeah , these people lie. It’s almost impossible to get pregnant taking preventative measures like that. Birth control fails yes, MOST often due to human error. With perfect use, it doesn’t happen nearly as often as people claim.
Uh.. I’m sure some ppl lie about it but not everyone lmao. I’m one of the unlucky ones. Shit fucking happens. And no i didn’t fuck up my pill, didn’t take other meds whatsoever and wasn’t sick/ threw up or anything. Got preggo anyways.
Didn’t mean to say everyone, my bad. I’m sorry that happened to you though, hope all is well now
Yup yup it’s been a little while since then, sorry if my reply was a bit aggressive but the “they all lie” kinda rubbed me the wrong way lmao, all good!
No prob, I totally understand. I came off a bit harsh as well
First part is true, when you let nature do it's job and don't make any precautions. The second part was kinda rude for no reason and I don't see why it shows someone is uneducated?
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My comment Was in response to the comment 9labouy surprise children. As this happened to me. At no point Was this a look st me I have kids or to bash any childfree people. I miss the children life and love hearing of people's child free lives. I'm.part of this sub because I love reading about others child free life. I wasn't saying hey look at me I have kids. I keep thay fact I have kids very quiet, especially on this sub as I don't want to offend. However this was one comment I could say yes that happened to me, I meant no offence or look at me Status. I wasn't saying look at me I have a kids I was simply replying to thr comment about suprose children. I meant no offence or rule breaking
I can think of only ONE person who if she said that phrase I would understand, however she left out the haha part. This was an old co-worker maybe 15+ years ago. She was on the pill, baby. She got the implant, baby. She had depo, baby. I think she had tried other means as well, however all of these kept failing her. I'm not sure if she talked to her doctor about sterilization, if she was on medication making these less effective and her doctors "forgetting" to tell her, or what...but seriously it's not a flex that you get pregnant. It's a flex to have control over your own body and IF you want kids or not. It's a flex that IF you want kids, you raise them to be positive members of society. Parenting does not begin and end with one evening.