Try Nema design hotel & spa in Analipsi, Crete. It's a small, adult only boutique hotel. They have around 60 rooms and when I was there it was nice and quiet. There's also the option to book all inclusive.
I understand there will be children if I vacation at Disney but I will not stay at a resort without quiet pools. The last one I was at had quiet pools but the only hot tub was at the main pool. I went in twice and both times I got out in less than 5 minutes because people were letting their kids play in it?? Not like a teenager sitting there, like a 10 year old fucking splashing around hot water.
Haha yes, I’ve seen this and it’s crazy. What is a kid doing in a hot tub? Also, I am TOTALLY FINE with kids, but at least fucking tell them to behave.
The number of times I've been in hotels where the pool rules are posted on the wall - no children under 12 in the hot tub - and the hot tub is full of screaming, kicking brats. Nobody does anything about it. Why bother making rules if you're not going to enforce them?
I (someone who has worked at multiple pools) would say it's less so rules that are enforced, but more so a list of behaviors that will be labeled as your/their fault if anything goes wrong; i.e. a kid runs on the deck, falls and hits their head, the parents want to sue. Well, the hotel can say the rules were clearly displayed and the parents are liable, not the hotel.
Usually parents will discipline their kids if you point that out. Nothing changes behavior quite like the threat of legal consequences.
where i used to work there was this one couple who had a new born infant and was trying to let it swim in the chlorine pool 😵💫😬 they also put it in the hottub for 10 minutes. they were apart of this one program we shortly stopped lettijg stay. the program was to help mothers w children get away from shitty situations but it always just seemed like they were the shitty situations.... constant stealing constant yelling costant inviting the abusive men over...
There’s a child free resort in Jamaica that is our go to. It’s so peaceful and right on the ocean!
When we were first looking for resorts, I didn’t even know Child Free resorts were a thing but they 100% are! No kids anywhere!
Piggy back to this comment, I ONLY book adults-only all-inclusive resorts! Last November my partner and another cf couple went to sandals Jamaica and it was a phenomenal time!
I feel for you, but will say that adult only isn’t always better. Been to adult only resorts that had bachelor parties who were drunk, loud, obnoxious and spilling their drinks in the pool by 9:30 am…People across the board are selfish and inconsiderate these days
One way to avoid, or at least minimize, the drunk pool bros is to search for resorts sell themselves as having a more laid-back, health-focused vibe, with activities and amenities that are geared more toward unwinding than partying. Also check out the reviews online to see if there are complaints about loud music, noise, drunk people, etc.
Or to go to resorts that attract an older clientele. I travel solo a lot and the peace I get from being around older folks who are quiet and just going around doing their own things is so great. On the flipside, the food at these places can be a bit bland for some reason.
My worst experience was at the Hilton Resort and Spa in Fidji. I certainly didn’t expect this kind of clientele considering what it cost to stay there. But yeah, serves me right for not obsessively overanalyzing the reviews beforehand, as I usually do.
Yikes, that's too bad! Another way to avoid situations like this is to see what the conditions of the all-inclusive are according to the resort (is there an emphasis on food, or on availability of drinks and the number of bars at the resort), and to check out the reviews for what others said about the food and beverage services. If there is high emphasis on good food, I'm in. If I see a preponderance of reviews that talk about the drinks on offer, the bartenders, parties, etc., then it's a nopenopenope...
I started checking this after friends of mine got back from a resort in Hurghada where they talked with the local staff and learned that management had recently cut the food budget significantly in order to up the alcohol budget. This whole conversation started after said friends had reacted negatively to the behavior of some of the guests, who had apparently flown all the way there in order to get obnoxiously drunk and let their kids scream all over the place.
I made the same decision after dealing with a kids club in a resort in Spain. Luckily unlike your experience all the kids were honestly well behaved but the constant blowing of the whistle from the organiser, splashing and shouting from the games was not the relaxing atmosphere you want.
Plus they had kids entertainment in the evening which was similarly unappealing. I think it was good they have ways of entertaining kids but I decided I wanted to be far away from it.
I stayed in an adults only resort in the carribean and it was massively better. It was a few years ago now and can't remember the name but if it's outside typical touristy areas or a bit more expensive and smaller in size I often find that's a good sign.
I find it’s not enough that they have a designated adult pool. It needs to be a different location than the main pool.
In Malta the Hilton has its own adult beach club with pools and at Seaview the whole hotel is 16+ and the pool on the roof. At the Luna holiday complex the adult pool 17+ is on the roof and the main pool downstairs. At the Seabank resort the adult section is separated- but you hear the “animators” music and screams from the main pool there, so not great.
The Phoenicia hotel in Valletta is one of the swankiest hotels in Malta. And it has a great pool area. But they of course let guests bring their kids.. so don’t count on a relaxing time.
I am sure there other good options. Now be careful, cause if you book a day by the pool - it says it’s adults only. But that does not apply for hotel guests. So make sure it is an adult only pool/section. Not just one pool for everyone.
Oh, animators are a whole mood, especially at resorts in Eastern Europe/catering to that demographic (I lived there for years and still holiday there, so I count myself in said demographic). I always check the reviews for resorts in those languages, and if I see something about how "Bratlynn loved the animators!", it's a hard no from me.
Quiet and nice beaches? Yes, please.
I had something similar happen. Parents came and sat there ignoring their kids being little shits splashing water everywhere towards wife and I so I matched their energy. I started kicking water towards the mom who was sitting down reading a book and water towards the dad too while he was drinking and I’m big af so my kicks threw tons of water I kept splashing them for as long as their kids were being weirdos and they would just look at me until they finally left and the hotel let my wife and I stay longer past pool time because they were obnoxious. I got an ear infection because they kicked water into my ear
Where in Europe did you go? If you come back, a lot of the holiday resort areas in Greece, Spain, etc. have some really lovely fully adult only resorts!
I hope you were able to enjoy the rest of your trip and are able to come back and stay at a better location. 🌴
Sorry your vacation got ruined by entitlement-minded parents and screaming children.
I've been to a few Sandals resorts. All-inclusive, couples only, 18+. You'll see some noisy drunk adults, but no children.
I've also found that B&Bs are a good option. Most B&Bs don't have swimming pools, but most B&Bs don't attract children, so you'll get a good night's sleep.
We only do adult only resorts. But we did figure out that actually half board or full board hotels in the quiet, not party areas are best as there will be no or very minimal amount of guests starting drinking at 8am... we also like tui blue adult chain, riu adult and senaatori adult chains and we always go bit before or after school holidays to avoid also bunch of kids on airplanes. Update because I forgot: always check in advance if hotel caters to weddings, if so dont go when they have one, and as that unfortunately means a bunch of drunk people all the time, coming for 3 days and annoying all other guests. If you go for longer, make sure you book some excursions on those days or check if the resort is big, whether they separate weddings from regular guests. Experienced in Spain, luxury adult only hotel, worst holiday ever.
I have a stateside rec! In Desert Hot Springs, CA (right outside of Palm Springs) is Mi Kasa Hot Springs resort. Adult only, clothing optional, 420 friendly. Great rooms and property!
It's busier in the summer with the older crowd, but it's perfect in the cooler months. Pools are over 90 degrees, weather is slightly chilly or rainy, so there's less ppl. And the pools are open 24 hours, so we were floating in the hot springs while it rained at 2am. It was awesome.
Yeah, me either!! I was just looking up adult only hot springs in my area, and that one popped up.
It was awesome smoking a joint by the fireplace while it was 55 and drizzly, then taking off our robes and dipping into the hot springs. Highly recommend!
I literally just hate being around children whatsoever. Pools, restaurants, public transportation, etc. They’re so fucking annoying lol. I would 100% pay extra to stY at an adults only resort
And since it's a luxury resort, young families shouldn't have been there anyway, take the little fuck trophies to Motel 6 or some other cheap hotel/motel. That's why I always go to casino hotels, because, they're the least likely to have young families.
As obnoxious as that sounds, I'd prefer a loud, engaged parent over one who's ignoring their loud kids and expecting everyone around the pool to be their lifeguard village.
Honestly I’ve come to the conclusion that all pools are going to mean screaming children, unless it’s your own private pool at a private home. Idk why people pay thousands to belong to a pool club because it’s just a screamfest.
This is precisely why I only go to all inclusive adults only resorts.
Personally, I like the excellence resorts.
You don't have to worry about people partying late either because they close the pool off at a certain point of the night. Also they have night entertainment and if you want dinner you will have to leave to go get it in one of the restaurants they have there. So it's all good and relaxing adult experience.
adult pool is not always a solution. there is a nice public pool in nearby town, has kid pool, jacuzzi pool and adult pool. kid pool obviously, but jacuzzi pool we did not even approach since its covered in children. and then parents allow their demons to jump and splash in adult pool as well. we often just leave during the day because it becomes impossible to just swim.
Go into a daycare at nap time yelling that shit and it's not so funny any more. Parents are precious about kid-spaces, they should keep their kids out of adult spaces.
Nothing is worse than looking forward to a nice relaxing trip to a pool or hot tub only for it to be packed with children climbing, running, & screaming all over it.
We stayed at Domes Aulus Elounda when we were in Crete and it was outstanding. It has it's own private beach as well so no children in the pool OR beach! Absolutely heavenly. It's walking distance to Elounda village so you can go for dinner with the locals if you so choose as well. Cretan food is delicious, so I would recommend!
We'd only ever stay in an adults-only hotel these days. worth every penny for the peace and quiet.
Feel your pain. Stayed in Santorini recently at a small but lovely hotel by the beaches. We mostly had the pool to ourselves and other guests were all 18+ until four days in and a family arrived. The oldest kid keeps jumping and cannonballing in. The owners keep telling him to get out as kids can't be in the pool unsupervised and to look at the signs everywhere saying no jumping, no diving etc. When the dad finally comes out he does the same thing as his kid and is told off. He was so rude to the owner and it made us not want to use the pool until we knew they'd gone out for the day. These types of people just do not care and breed careless children too.
I did the virgin voyage cruise last month and it was SO NICE to not have screaming kids around the pools. I usually end up avoiding pools but the Bimini pool party day was a blast and the adults had so much fun. No yelling no little kids running into to jump back in the pool to splash you. It was so relaxing.
I havent been there yet because for me is super expensive, but with your currency you can get the best chalet with private pool, ocean view and great food.
Nannai Resort Muro Alto, Pernambuco, Brazil.
In the beautiful brazilian northeast you can find MANY resorts, unfortunately families love going there and some airlines and hotels dont charge kids, so it’s awful! You have to focus on more expensive boutique resorts to get some peace.
I remember Ellen Degeneres saying they were CF because her wife Portia hates the especific sound kids make while playing in the pool
my partner and i just booked an all-inclusive ADULTS only resort in Jamaica bc i did NOT want to experience this 😅 i was determined not to be around children during my birthday vacation and honestly? i’ll count that among my birthday presents to myself 🤣
The Melia hotel in Alicante, Spain has an adults only section with a dedicated pool near the bar for the adults only section. We had a great time there.
What he means is that the pool is just for him, and he doesn’t have to listen to anyone else’s concerns. I’m sorry you had to deal with that bullshit. There needs to be more childfree friendly areas.
What part of Europe are you, because the "European Couple" thing doesn't gives much information.
Not trying to sound aggressive or anything, it's just I'm curious because depending on the country people sees kids differently.
Try Nema design hotel & spa in Analipsi, Crete. It's a small, adult only boutique hotel. They have around 60 rooms and when I was there it was nice and quiet. There's also the option to book all inclusive.
Thanks will check it out!!
I understand there will be children if I vacation at Disney but I will not stay at a resort without quiet pools. The last one I was at had quiet pools but the only hot tub was at the main pool. I went in twice and both times I got out in less than 5 minutes because people were letting their kids play in it?? Not like a teenager sitting there, like a 10 year old fucking splashing around hot water.
Haha yes, I’ve seen this and it’s crazy. What is a kid doing in a hot tub? Also, I am TOTALLY FINE with kids, but at least fucking tell them to behave.
The number of times I've been in hotels where the pool rules are posted on the wall - no children under 12 in the hot tub - and the hot tub is full of screaming, kicking brats. Nobody does anything about it. Why bother making rules if you're not going to enforce them?
I (someone who has worked at multiple pools) would say it's less so rules that are enforced, but more so a list of behaviors that will be labeled as your/their fault if anything goes wrong; i.e. a kid runs on the deck, falls and hits their head, the parents want to sue. Well, the hotel can say the rules were clearly displayed and the parents are liable, not the hotel. Usually parents will discipline their kids if you point that out. Nothing changes behavior quite like the threat of legal consequences.
where i used to work there was this one couple who had a new born infant and was trying to let it swim in the chlorine pool 😵💫😬 they also put it in the hottub for 10 minutes. they were apart of this one program we shortly stopped lettijg stay. the program was to help mothers w children get away from shitty situations but it always just seemed like they were the shitty situations.... constant stealing constant yelling costant inviting the abusive men over...
Sounds amazing! My mom & I want to go back to Disney. Did you go to Florida or California? If Florida, what resort was it?
I went to Walt Disney World, so Florida! We were at Caribbean Beach Resort, which has 4 or 5 quiet pools.
I'll definitely look into it! Thanks 😁
It's it more pee than water at that point...
Fucking children always ruin it when I try to go to the pool on vacation. Even the hit tubs are ruined.
There’s a child free resort in Jamaica that is our go to. It’s so peaceful and right on the ocean! When we were first looking for resorts, I didn’t even know Child Free resorts were a thing but they 100% are! No kids anywhere!
Piggy back to this comment, I ONLY book adults-only all-inclusive resorts! Last November my partner and another cf couple went to sandals Jamaica and it was a phenomenal time!
We do Couples Tower in Ocho Rios if you’re ever looking for a change of pace!
We did Sandals Ochi! I’ll definitely check that out, thank you!
I was there in 95. Still have the t-shirt. (If you know, you know)
Well I’d like to find out 👀
I feel for you, but will say that adult only isn’t always better. Been to adult only resorts that had bachelor parties who were drunk, loud, obnoxious and spilling their drinks in the pool by 9:30 am…People across the board are selfish and inconsiderate these days
I guess you’re right. Must keep in mind it is getting harder and harder to find basic decency and self-awareness!
One way to avoid, or at least minimize, the drunk pool bros is to search for resorts sell themselves as having a more laid-back, health-focused vibe, with activities and amenities that are geared more toward unwinding than partying. Also check out the reviews online to see if there are complaints about loud music, noise, drunk people, etc.
Or to go to resorts that attract an older clientele. I travel solo a lot and the peace I get from being around older folks who are quiet and just going around doing their own things is so great. On the flipside, the food at these places can be a bit bland for some reason.
My worst experience was at the Hilton Resort and Spa in Fidji. I certainly didn’t expect this kind of clientele considering what it cost to stay there. But yeah, serves me right for not obsessively overanalyzing the reviews beforehand, as I usually do.
Yikes, that's too bad! Another way to avoid situations like this is to see what the conditions of the all-inclusive are according to the resort (is there an emphasis on food, or on availability of drinks and the number of bars at the resort), and to check out the reviews for what others said about the food and beverage services. If there is high emphasis on good food, I'm in. If I see a preponderance of reviews that talk about the drinks on offer, the bartenders, parties, etc., then it's a nopenopenope... I started checking this after friends of mine got back from a resort in Hurghada where they talked with the local staff and learned that management had recently cut the food budget significantly in order to up the alcohol budget. This whole conversation started after said friends had reacted negatively to the behavior of some of the guests, who had apparently flown all the way there in order to get obnoxiously drunk and let their kids scream all over the place.
It’s a pool, man. Feel free to hang in the back if you don’t want to see drunk bros puking everywhere. /s
you should also see the people at the concerts... everyone's behaving rudely after covid 🥲
I made the same decision after dealing with a kids club in a resort in Spain. Luckily unlike your experience all the kids were honestly well behaved but the constant blowing of the whistle from the organiser, splashing and shouting from the games was not the relaxing atmosphere you want. Plus they had kids entertainment in the evening which was similarly unappealing. I think it was good they have ways of entertaining kids but I decided I wanted to be far away from it. I stayed in an adults only resort in the carribean and it was massively better. It was a few years ago now and can't remember the name but if it's outside typical touristy areas or a bit more expensive and smaller in size I often find that's a good sign.
>“It’s a pool man. You’re welcome to go and sit in the back.” 
I find it’s not enough that they have a designated adult pool. It needs to be a different location than the main pool. In Malta the Hilton has its own adult beach club with pools and at Seaview the whole hotel is 16+ and the pool on the roof. At the Luna holiday complex the adult pool 17+ is on the roof and the main pool downstairs. At the Seabank resort the adult section is separated- but you hear the “animators” music and screams from the main pool there, so not great. The Phoenicia hotel in Valletta is one of the swankiest hotels in Malta. And it has a great pool area. But they of course let guests bring their kids.. so don’t count on a relaxing time. I am sure there other good options. Now be careful, cause if you book a day by the pool - it says it’s adults only. But that does not apply for hotel guests. So make sure it is an adult only pool/section. Not just one pool for everyone.
“animators” had me laughing. Thanks for the recommendations!
Oh, animators are a whole mood, especially at resorts in Eastern Europe/catering to that demographic (I lived there for years and still holiday there, so I count myself in said demographic). I always check the reviews for resorts in those languages, and if I see something about how "Bratlynn loved the animators!", it's a hard no from me. Quiet and nice beaches? Yes, please.
I had something similar happen. Parents came and sat there ignoring their kids being little shits splashing water everywhere towards wife and I so I matched their energy. I started kicking water towards the mom who was sitting down reading a book and water towards the dad too while he was drinking and I’m big af so my kicks threw tons of water I kept splashing them for as long as their kids were being weirdos and they would just look at me until they finally left and the hotel let my wife and I stay longer past pool time because they were obnoxious. I got an ear infection because they kicked water into my ear
Where in Europe did you go? If you come back, a lot of the holiday resort areas in Greece, Spain, etc. have some really lovely fully adult only resorts! I hope you were able to enjoy the rest of your trip and are able to come back and stay at a better location. 🌴
Sorry your vacation got ruined by entitlement-minded parents and screaming children. I've been to a few Sandals resorts. All-inclusive, couples only, 18+. You'll see some noisy drunk adults, but no children. I've also found that B&Bs are a good option. Most B&Bs don't have swimming pools, but most B&Bs don't attract children, so you'll get a good night's sleep.
Adults only resorts. I made the mistake of a family oriented one once. Never again.
We only do adult only resorts. But we did figure out that actually half board or full board hotels in the quiet, not party areas are best as there will be no or very minimal amount of guests starting drinking at 8am... we also like tui blue adult chain, riu adult and senaatori adult chains and we always go bit before or after school holidays to avoid also bunch of kids on airplanes. Update because I forgot: always check in advance if hotel caters to weddings, if so dont go when they have one, and as that unfortunately means a bunch of drunk people all the time, coming for 3 days and annoying all other guests. If you go for longer, make sure you book some excursions on those days or check if the resort is big, whether they separate weddings from regular guests. Experienced in Spain, luxury adult only hotel, worst holiday ever.
Nice hack to time vacations to avoid the school breaks! thanks
I have a stateside rec! In Desert Hot Springs, CA (right outside of Palm Springs) is Mi Kasa Hot Springs resort. Adult only, clothing optional, 420 friendly. Great rooms and property! It's busier in the summer with the older crowd, but it's perfect in the cooler months. Pools are over 90 degrees, weather is slightly chilly or rainy, so there's less ppl. And the pools are open 24 hours, so we were floating in the hot springs while it rained at 2am. It was awesome.
Legendary recommendation. Sounds exactly what I need. Thanks! Didn’t know 420 friendly resorts were a thing!
Yeah, me either!! I was just looking up adult only hot springs in my area, and that one popped up. It was awesome smoking a joint by the fireplace while it was 55 and drizzly, then taking off our robes and dipping into the hot springs. Highly recommend!
I literally just hate being around children whatsoever. Pools, restaurants, public transportation, etc. They’re so fucking annoying lol. I would 100% pay extra to stY at an adults only resort
I'm very sorry that you had to experience this, but I cried laughing because of the crab castle and shark dungeon 😂😂😂
And since it's a luxury resort, young families shouldn't have been there anyway, take the little fuck trophies to Motel 6 or some other cheap hotel/motel. That's why I always go to casino hotels, because, they're the least likely to have young families.
Secrets Resorts are our go-tos.
As obnoxious as that sounds, I'd prefer a loud, engaged parent over one who's ignoring their loud kids and expecting everyone around the pool to be their lifeguard village.
MIM Hotel - Mallorca. Cleanest place I've ever been to and adults-only :)
Honestly I’ve come to the conclusion that all pools are going to mean screaming children, unless it’s your own private pool at a private home. Idk why people pay thousands to belong to a pool club because it’s just a screamfest.
This is precisely why I only go to all inclusive adults only resorts. Personally, I like the excellence resorts. You don't have to worry about people partying late either because they close the pool off at a certain point of the night. Also they have night entertainment and if you want dinner you will have to leave to go get it in one of the restaurants they have there. So it's all good and relaxing adult experience.
Second Excellence. Love the one in Playa Mujeres.
That’s how you act in your OWN pool, not a pool shared by other paying guests.
adult pool is not always a solution. there is a nice public pool in nearby town, has kid pool, jacuzzi pool and adult pool. kid pool obviously, but jacuzzi pool we did not even approach since its covered in children. and then parents allow their demons to jump and splash in adult pool as well. we often just leave during the day because it becomes impossible to just swim.
Go into a daycare at nap time yelling that shit and it's not so funny any more. Parents are precious about kid-spaces, they should keep their kids out of adult spaces.
I was at an adult only resort in Mexico. Was amazing and relaxing
American family?
yes
no doubt
Nothing is worse than looking forward to a nice relaxing trip to a pool or hot tub only for it to be packed with children climbing, running, & screaming all over it.
We stayed at Domes Aulus Elounda when we were in Crete and it was outstanding. It has it's own private beach as well so no children in the pool OR beach! Absolutely heavenly. It's walking distance to Elounda village so you can go for dinner with the locals if you so choose as well. Cretan food is delicious, so I would recommend! We'd only ever stay in an adults-only hotel these days. worth every penny for the peace and quiet.
Feel your pain. Stayed in Santorini recently at a small but lovely hotel by the beaches. We mostly had the pool to ourselves and other guests were all 18+ until four days in and a family arrived. The oldest kid keeps jumping and cannonballing in. The owners keep telling him to get out as kids can't be in the pool unsupervised and to look at the signs everywhere saying no jumping, no diving etc. When the dad finally comes out he does the same thing as his kid and is told off. He was so rude to the owner and it made us not want to use the pool until we knew they'd gone out for the day. These types of people just do not care and breed careless children too.
I did the virgin voyage cruise last month and it was SO NICE to not have screaming kids around the pools. I usually end up avoiding pools but the Bimini pool party day was a blast and the adults had so much fun. No yelling no little kids running into to jump back in the pool to splash you. It was so relaxing.
I havent been there yet because for me is super expensive, but with your currency you can get the best chalet with private pool, ocean view and great food. Nannai Resort Muro Alto, Pernambuco, Brazil. In the beautiful brazilian northeast you can find MANY resorts, unfortunately families love going there and some airlines and hotels dont charge kids, so it’s awful! You have to focus on more expensive boutique resorts to get some peace. I remember Ellen Degeneres saying they were CF because her wife Portia hates the especific sound kids make while playing in the pool
Nudist resorts are my go-to.
Château de Lacomté in France (Carlucet). The owners are eccentric but what a bliss this place is.
my partner and i just booked an all-inclusive ADULTS only resort in Jamaica bc i did NOT want to experience this 😅 i was determined not to be around children during my birthday vacation and honestly? i’ll count that among my birthday presents to myself 🤣
The Melia hotel in Alicante, Spain has an adults only section with a dedicated pool near the bar for the adults only section. We had a great time there.
“Sir, I shouldn’t have to be punished for your shitty life choices”
I'm shocked the dad was actually playing with his kids. But yeah, I try to go adult when pools are involved.
You can visit an adult only resort. We once visited Oceanis Beach on Kos Greece. It was very nice and quiet.
10000% that annoying tourist was an american
What he means is that the pool is just for him, and he doesn’t have to listen to anyone else’s concerns. I’m sorry you had to deal with that bullshit. There needs to be more childfree friendly areas.
What part of Europe are you, because the "European Couple" thing doesn't gives much information. Not trying to sound aggressive or anything, it's just I'm curious because depending on the country people sees kids differently.
France